If you transition after the age of 30 you don't have dysphoria.
No one should be able to deal with dysphoria for that amount of time without transitioning or killing themselves.
Suicide is by far not the only possible response to crippling pain. Some people end up with shattered psyches instead. People react differently to the same stimuli.
This is a case where suicide is not your only option.
Agree 100% OP. Iv been saying this for years, most hons are just fetishists going through a mid life crisis. There is NO FUCKING WAY I myself or any of the dozens of legit trans girls with actual gender dysphoria could have lived without hormones that long without killing ourselves.
If you can live 40+ years then your dysphoria either doesnt exist or wasnt that bad and you dont need to transition.
No ifs, ands or buts.
And yet quite a few trans women hit their 40s without having transitioned but with histories of constant crippling depression.
And shrinks generally do diagnose GD off them. Most turbohons probably spend more time in therapy than most of this board combined.
>Most turbohons probably spend more time in therapy
Most turnohons spend little to no time in therapy, pay under the table to get their gender markers changed, and go to thailand to get srs.
You think something like this ever got therapy? Nope its just straight up mid life crisis and fetishism. They all dress and act like they get off on it and make it extremely obvious.
All those cringy sissy hyno vids? Thats 100% hon material.
The only reason they get away with this is because most of them have enough money to pay for things under the table.
If the person was full time before HRT which some clinics require (and older transitioners don't get much in the way of options) they'd possibly be able to hit most surgeons' requirements without ever being on hrt.
It's kinda creepy, and made me rather uncomfortable when I was visiting a friend, but I figure they do have some standards.
I've had dysphoria my entire life and I'm 27
gender dysphoria/body dysmorphia is hardly the only kind that exists nor is it the worst
I'm not even sure that not having dysphoria is even a thing. I think everyone has aspects of themselves or their identity or their relationships with others that they find painful or dissatisfying or that seem impossible to change.
Dysphoria gets a lot more painful once you recognize and internalize it. I coasted to 21 mostly on emotional numbness until I pushed myself to consider that I actually might be trans and then it was all downhill from there.
> If you transition after the age of 30 you don't have dysphoria.
The brain is not static. You could develop dysphoria later in life.
Also who gives a shit who 'needs' to transition? Yes people who suffer from GD have a serious problem that they need help with but fuck it if you wanna be a male, female or awkward mix of both you should be what you want goddamnit.
Kek I've been off and off hormones since I was 21 I'm 26 now. It has runined relationships, crippling self esteem issues. I've held a forty cal naked after getting out of the shower multiple times. Nagging you day and night. Everyone knows your fucking nuts etc. Butttt
Estrogen makes me more crazy but less impulsive. I can go though my illogical day and blame it on everyone else. I wouldn't have made it to thirty without it.
>yfw you realize the trans people here are just like old hons accept younger.
The only difference here is age and that they didn't have access to diy hrt when they were younger. You guys are literally all hons in your own right.
Personally I think if you make it past puberty after seeing your body masculinized and not doing anything about it then you're not realy trans because obviously you weren't distressed enough to prevent it. Also being attracted to women is a big red flag on not really being trans either
Personally I think that unless you feel so uncomfortable in your body that you literally want to rip your skin off and flush it down the toilet 24/7, then you're not really trans. If there's ever a moment where you feel normal, also not trans.
Everyone is a hon except me
Me? No, I actually transitioned moved away from my small town and I'm now engaged to an amazing guy and he works while I'm going to school. There's just too many people on this board that complain but they're not proactive about changing their situations so no I don't feel bad because I knew what I wanted early on and fought for it now I'm 19 and living the life I always wanted.
I'm very serious, gender dysphoria is incurable and should you ever feel good about yourself you are no better than Anne Lawrence and would probably sexually abuse patients like him too.
That's why I keep hurting myself tbqh tbh fam.
It might be a little better if you transition early enough to at least be shaped somewhat normal. But, I just don't see how anyone is ok with being in the weird-shaped no-man's land. I'm sure not okay with it. It's disgusting.
i've known i was trans since i was a kid... like for as long as i can remember, and i hid it for a long time due to my upbringing... when i was 25 i tried to hang myself largely due to dysphoria (but also due to a lot of other shit that was/is wrong)
i'm 29 now and i'm still in pretty much the same position except also dealing with chronic illness/pain, and yet i haven't tried again
for a lot of reasons, mostly shit like me having my s/o, and family, friends... things i care about, things i want to see and do, experiences i haven't had... shit that has nothing to do with my physical appearance or the pain i'm in
i'm by no means comfortable with my physical form, and i experience dysphoria every day... when i speak i feel ill hearing my voice, my body makes me uncomfortable, it gets me to the point where i sometimes feel like i shouldn't even go outside cuz i should be ashamed instead... but i can't do anything about that right now, just like i can't do anything about the pain i'm in every day physically... and i think about killing myself constantly, but i don't cuz there's other shit to live for
if/when i'm ever in a better situation i plan to transition, i can't imagine going my entire life feeling this discomfort... and i have no desire to attempt it if at all possible, and the age i made it to in shit circumstances without killing myself doesn't reflect the shit i go through... it just shows that i had shit in my life that i valued enough to put up with pain and discomfort and live anyway
your life has to be pretty fucking empty if it revolves around you being trans, and honestly if that's the case you've got more problems than being trans... people who are in better circumstances and have the means to transition aren't any more trans than people who don't, just more fortunate... and the people who become suicide statistics aren't more trans either, they just lost hope and couldn't keep going and probably had a lot of other shit wrong too...
I don't know about that, if you really want to you can completely block out certain aspects of who you are, I did it successfully for 23 years and I could probably do it for the rest of my life, I don't see why I should and I wouldn't be happy but I could totally do it.
This is 100% my experience, I had the realization a month ago. Now my days consist of waking up with anxiety, go to work crying, try to convince myself to see a therapist, go home crying, dress up/shave and feel better. Until a month ago I had literally no clue except I had no identity as a man, and I'm 21.
I was going to reply to a bunch of these posts when I realized that it seems very trolly. For being on a LGBT board I sense quite a bit of hate towards Transgender people in regards to age. Who are you people to decide what age determines a true transgender person? Everything about this subject is very personal and it's up to an individual when is the time to transition. Everyone's experiences are different and it can really depend on the people around them whether they transition or not. Now me personally, I haven't met this magic age of 30 or lower in some posts and I haven't transitioned for a number of reasons. Instead of deciding on what your definition of what transgender means to you why not help others with finding the courage to transition themselves? Some of us aren't as strong as the ones who started transitioning early and require a bit more support.
Anyways that's just my 2 cents have a good day!
Anon, some parents wouldn't make their children transition before that. After 18 you have a chance to get medical help by yourself.
So I would say before age 20. If you held it off for that long it's not much of a issue. I think what really matters before that age is how outwardly feminine you are and your social experiences. The most successful ones were really feminine and basically living like a girl beforehand so it's like they didn't need to transition, kek.
Then there are the other ones who think the grass is greener on the other side and the ones who just want to be this non-binary type person...
But my own life consists of evading emotions and social interaction with gaming. I have never kissed anyone and have a crippling fear of intimacy because I see no worth in my body or self-confidence as a man for others to take. That's not how I want to see myself in 20 years.
I know what you mean, and I know pretty certainly that my own life as a man has no bright future.
hopefully you aren't where i'm at when you're my age, i wouldn't wish my position on anyone...
you got me i think holding out and trying to grow and live in spite of being unhappy and in a negative situation is important cuz i'm a "jealous bitter hon" who's never gonna be a "real girl"
or maybe i'm just realistic... i think it's great when people can transition and live their youth out as comfortably as possible, but i don't think killing yourself is the only alternative if you can't... why should anything in life be "get what you want or die"? that seems a little extreme to me, especially cuz there's more to life than whether or not you're happy or comfortable in your body... and suffering and going through bad shit is just as valuable as things going well... it makes you a different person, and it doesn't have to be for the worst
i'd love to know what's jealous and bitter about that outlook, and i'd really like to know who exactly you think i'm jealous of and bitter towards
>there's more to life than whether or not you're happy or comfortable in your body
You clearly don't understand how crippling dysphoria is, but not like anyone could expect you to. If you could prioritize so much above it then you clearly don't have it.
I transitioned at 20 and that was right after I left my parents house. My father is an alcoholic who is starting to develop mental problems who ruined my mom and I's life for the entire time I was there. If I told him I was trans I was more worried about my father taking it out on my mother (and still am after I came out a while ago). Considering I've known I was trans since before I was 12, dysphoria led me to almost kill myself innumerable times.
I know this is a offhand troll post made to bait people like me but sometimes others don't have the same opportunities as you do.
While i am sure there are tons of legit hons just wanting to play out the house wife ideal. i dont doubt some of the older people. they grew up in a culture that was much stricter about this kinda stuff. trans meds barely existed and transsexuals and gay men were seen as the same thing by the general public. by current standards we would see 90% of these peoples views on the world warped because of what the world was around them. they are not these young trannies where hormones are not horse piss, where people can talk about trans other than laughing at the drag queen prostitutes, and not growing up in a culture that openly says yay feelings instead of you will be a social lepper if you dont hide them
>especially cuz there's more to life than whether or not you're happy or comfortable in your body
Yes there is more to life than that, but how comfortable you are with your body and mind are the foundation upon which those 'more to life' things lie upon. You cannot enjoy the wonders of life if you cannot even get comfortable inside of your meatsuit. There's a hierarchy of needs here.
does it? it's just the truth, if the only thing to you is that you're trans and that's all that matters then your life is empty... there's a lot more to life than whether or not you have a disorder, and being unable to see that seems empty to me, and that's true of any life that revolves around one particular thing in my opinion...
and who am i bitter towards exactly anyway? people who have killed themselves?
i understand it's extremely crippling, but i also understand that just cuz something is crippling doesn't mean you're obligated to let it control you... like i said before i actually have attempted suicide with dysphoria being a very large part of it, but i do have other shit in my life...
i don't believe in letting defects i can't help consume me, i'm just not that person anymore... i was, but there's something very surreal about waking up the day after you've tried to kill yourself that puts life into perspective
my perspective on life, and the way i deal with things doesn't have to reflect yours to mean that i suffer... you can't tell me who i am based on your views without actually knowing me or even half of what i've experienced or felt... i understand that you feel the way you do, but keep in mind that your perspective and feelings don't necessarily line up with reality
and i know what it is to be younger than i am and feel like it'd be impossible to be my age, and trans, and untreated while also alive... that's why i tried to kill myself actually, i was scared of being in this position... and now here i am, and it's changed a lot of the way i view the world, life, and my disorder... could i go my entire life like this? probably not... am i completely functional? definitely not... but i'm trying cuz there's people i love, and i want to see where life takes me
i'm sorry you can't grasp that, but i don't need you to
btw i can prioritize things above it cuz i've had to
i disagree... your body is part of who you are, but it isn't your entire being and discomfort doesn't equate with not being able to enjoy anything... if it does then you just haven't learned how to enjoy things in spite of being uncomfortable, and that isn't an easily acquired skill... even when it's one that could help you in life, and sometimes you don't have a choice but to learn that skill
at least that's been the case for me... i don't expect you or anyone else to necessarily understand or agree with my perspective, but i'm gonna try to explain why i feel the way i do... and why even if it's not the case for you or someone else it is for me
i'm high so ... if i fuck this up my bad
i tried to kill myself right? tried to hang myself, and it was all very pathetic and when it didn't work out as planned i got drunk instead, and went on with my life... a few months later i just... had a pretty bad meltdown and i actually just left figuring maybe if i was anywhere but here that would fix things... my s/o practically dragged me back home... shit happened i got high instead and life went on, like it does cuz that's just the way it works...
i was on a walk with my s/o, it was one of the few things i enjoyed at the time cuz i could get lost in the way outside felt... and i absolutely fucking love nature and shit, but anyway...
i got bit by a bunch of ticks, and it'd happened before so i didn't think anything of it... 2 weeks later i was really fucking sick, and since that i've just had constant health issues
if i ignore the physical appearance of my body, the discomfort it gives me, i'm still in physical pain or discomfort every day... there are days where i lay down in the tub wondering whether or not i'd rather be dead and feeling like i probably should be with the way it hurts
i have days where i can barely get out of bed where even washing dishes feels like i worked out for 12 hours... and in spite of that i still have trouble sleeping
and it all fucking sucks, it all makes my body a very uncomfortable place
but sunrise is still beautiful, so is laying around outside in nice weather, stars, flowers etc ... there's a lot to appreciate that i can only experience through my body and i'm at least grateful for those things and find meaning in them that help me get through day to day life... i try not to think to much and just appreciate things like that... it helps
and honestly i do it cuz i love my s/o we've been together for 11 years this halloween and i've known him more than half my life... we've been through a lot together, and i love him much more than i care for myself... and i know he needs me, i know there aren't many people he'd push himself for and every day i tell myself that as soon as he's stable maybe suicide would be ok or something i want... but i can't right now, and i don't think loving someone should ever come after how i feel about my physical form...
i find things to focus on and make my life bearable things i enjoy, and i pass time... and some days i'm completely miserable and other days i have good moments where i'm genuinely happy or content or enjoying myself... even if they're short lived
and while distracting myself i've found things i want that aren't just to transition, and they've started to matter to me as well...
if that's enough to make me not trans to someone in spite of feeling dysphoria and being this way my whole life then that's fine, but that's just their opinion and i don't share their perspective of myself or what my life is/has been... opinions don't change reality so... yeah... i completely lost what i was gonna say, but i think that gets enough points i'm sure i had across
sorry about the wall of text
thanks... maybe a handful of people will read it and consider the other side of things, bait thread or not it's a somewhat common opinion that've seen thrown around... on the bright side getting high and rambling about life is effortless enough for me + i have a lot of free time
np, thanks for reading that
It's 2015. Today's budding hons were youngish a decade ago. A decade ago we had internet and trans resources were available for them.
I understand for grandma hons, but the 35-40 group today had a good enough chance to not be a hon.
The resources 10 years ago weren't that amazing. Good enough to cause a spike in your transitioners, but no, they weren't in any way good, they were incredibly spotty a lot of the times, ironically though if you were young they were definitely better, finding resources for people coming out above 25 then was harder. Being trans in most of the world was still pretty much shit, I needed surgery to change names when I started HRT.
This is fundamentally retarded.
Replace dysphoria with PTSD, agoraphobia, crippling anxiety, autism or any other mental health problem.
Because people dont kill themselves they must not "really" be depressed either right?
You know hrt isn't that expensive right?
If even poor brown girls can afford to get on hrt through their hard earned money from whoring themselves out on the streets there is no way white hon can't afford it.
For some bizarre reason hons, who always seem to be better off than trans women, never have the money or the resources, or the support to transition.
It is nothing but a pile of lame excuses.
hrt and surgery are usually both necessary, not everyone is ok with whoring themselves out, and not everyone who transitions late has money, and you're not taking into account what their life is/was like... people have different reasons for living their lives the way that they do
expecting people to live their lives the way you think they should is pretty damn illogical, and judging who someone is when you don't know them tends to mean you have no idea what you're talking about
Most people are mean to ugly people. Most people laugh at them. Sure, a large percentage hide it from their target, but you would have to be severely deluded to think people don't laugh when they see some man in a dress or some similar ugly person walking down the street. Fat people, deformed people, ugly hons, neckbeards, they are all laughed at all the time. That shit doesn't go away after you leave school. Everyone will always look down on you for your looks.
Sure, maybe they don't literally laugh at you, but that doesn't make what they think of you any better. They still think less of you, they still will treat you worse. You will never earn the same amount of respect you would if you weren't ugly as fuck.
It's funny how fast you went into personal insults. Projecting much? I find often the ones who are most vicious towards people are are ugly, fat or neckbearded are themselves ugly, fat or neckbearded. And insecure about it to boot.
I guess one must be beautiful on the inside to be beautiful on the outside. Thanks. I learned a valuable lesson today.
Now I can get over my insecurities and accept everyone for the beautiful person they are inside rather than judging them by their ragged exterior.
I think i should work on my exterior appearance more so it can match my new-found internal beauty. Thank you, friend.
A 31 year old today was 18 in 2002.
These hons aren't the same as the hons of years gone by. Back when I decided to transition back in 2007 I knew that old hons were my age back in the late 80s or early 90s. Today it just isn't the same.
Will this excuse fly 10 or 20 years from now when we are talking about the people that chose not to transition today?
Why not just say hons had better stuff to do?
Like >>5042439 said. There is more to life than being trans. You don't have to be comfortable in your body to live a rich and fulfilling life.
It's like having a retirement home at the beach.. You might have always wanted to live on the beach your whole youth, but that doesn't matter. You have children to take care off, parents to make proud, and a wife to make happy. When all that is taken care off, then you can take care of your retirement from manhood and become the woman you always wanted to be. Just like that house on the beach.
>I see no worth in my body or self-confidence as a man for others to take.
You think if you were a transwoman things would get better?
You would still have self-esteem issues, even more so if you don't pass enough.
If you are really worries about your body then get fit, concentrate on areas you want defined. You'll look and feel better.
I'm currently undersleeping and overworking to ensure that I don't have the time to think about it. Last time I gave myself enough time to think about it I attempted suicide after mutilating myself severely, which I'm just trying to avoid for the sake of my family.
I started with 29 and I believe if I would have got a fullfilling relationship a few years before or a satisfiing job I could have easily faked it till 35. Its just a matter of how easy it is to distract oneself. I mean it's not a coincidence that the starting age dropped dramatically with the invetion of the internet. Nowadays its way harder to distract keep yourself diluded till you're 30.
I mean every teenager with a half-brain can figure this shit out now before he's 18...
During the last century every transperson probably was like "yeah I'm batshit crazy and I need to do (overcompensate) xy to cure (distract) it"
Carla Antonelli did it in fascist Spain
People were still going to Hirschfeld's office in Germany as the nazis were taking over
There are known trans women in the west who did it young in the 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, and we have a few historical cases that are still known a bit predating the synthetizing of estrogen.
I'm not saying overcompensation isn't a thing but it was never a universal. Back in the 20s-30s it's not that people thought trannies were gays, it's that they thought full time gays, the ones who didn't hide it because they were often too effeminate anyway, were trans.
of course overcompensation isn't universial but I'd say it might be gone for good in western societies if there isn't some sort of backlash. I mean if you talk to older transitioners they say that just a few decades ago outing yourself as trans would almost certainly mean that you would loose your job etc. thats because historical trans-figures were always dancers or prositutes.
Plus there seem to be differences of how people deal with their dysphoria. I mean if you look at Group three here you can't possibly imagine that some of those would have 'transitioned' a few centuries ago:
>Retirement from Manhood
>Womanhood is the beach house
Why completely cut off your ability to live comfortable with yourself just so that the very end of your life could be like how you imagined. This is not like a job you do, being a man.
And again how is it fulfilling if your identity is being held back? Sure it may be rich but if you can live all that without dealing with transition then how could it have possibly been GD?
ive personally met some one who transitioned in her 30's
she was born in the 1950's and when she came out to her parents, they had her sectioned.
she spent years in an asylum basically just for gender dysphoria coz folks back then were a lot less tolerant.
so yea OP ur stupid
im 24 and obsess over my gender on a daily basis. its an awful way to live, i feel numb to life quite often. however the thought of transitioning horrifies me, i would look horrible and would make it severely harder to succeed in my career. i want to die but i could never bring myself to suicide.
i think my futures becoming pretty clear. i'll keep putting off transition again and again out of fear, until ive reached my thirties and finally have the money to afford good ffs. i'lll hate myself for not transitioning earlier. the end
but i guess that would mean im not experiencing dysphoria, am i OP? glad you know me so well
I just wish I didn't feel like this. My anxiety and fear of being thought of as a faggot or weird are keeping me from doing anything which is good I guess.
I don't have any friends or hobbies though because I don't feel like a person. I don't know what' swrong with me.
Good luck future hon. Hopefully they'll android bodies in 30 years, otherwise enjoy an empty life of regrets.
Honestly, loads of gay people come out at the same time for this reason. At the time they thought getting married and starting a family would solve their problems, and it didn't but now they've got a wife and kids they love to support.
Then once the last kid is into a good college, Dad and Uncle Tom send out the wedding invitations. And Mom starts drinking a lot more. And sleeps with my best friend after D&D night...