My boyfriend and I have been in a long distance relationship for 3 years now, we are almost to the point one of us can move the long long way to the other...
He has depression and doesn't take any medication and couldn't afford any anyway. But has been this way the whole time and for the most part its been a happy 3 years.
Lately ive been feeling really alone and the other day i broke down and cried to myself nearly all day, till I feel asleep over reasons greater then but including him becoming more withdrawn.
Last night we had a big argument where he explained he just wants to be isolated and alone for a while. I asserted myself and told him I didn't think he was treating me fairly, ive showered him in love for years and for the past month Ive been getting ignored and snapped at etc. etc.
I love this man so much it hurts physically sometimes and he loves me just as much, i can feel it all the times i can remember.
I'm just so isolated and alone and I miss his affection v.v...
If anyone took the time to read this, thank you... I feel so alone and don't know how to handle it...
i am an open book
i cannot quote him exactly as i no longer have the chat, but he said something along the lines of "sometimes i just dont want any affection physical or otherwise, i just want my isolation"
After the argument yesterday cooled off we talked more and he said that he just wants to be alone for a while.
But giving him that time alone makes me alone and its driving me insane.
Look he isn't giving you what you need and it's questionable if he will ever be able to.
I dated and loved this real great girl that had horrible depression and really anxiety. I've had some ugly depression too, still do but I think her issues differed in that she was just also incredibly insecure.
Shit just sucked because of that. I mean it was just this feeling like I was loving a brick wall. I'd pour myself into it, love and give for her and just got kinda nothing back. Not that she hated me or didn't return any feelings it just wasn't possible with her shit. I'd push her into counseling and meds because that's what was helping me but nothing.
And it just stretched on like that for too damn long. I ended up being the one to break up despite her being the one emotionally unavailable and it just wrecked me. Still burns tbh.
So that's just something to think on I guess but I'd figure a way to get out if I were you. Especially if it's been long distance for the full 3 years. A long distance relationship should never really last longer than a year. You can meet and date online but after a year if you two aren't making a real attempt at getting to each other irl it's just not gonna happen and is wasting you.
There is nothing wrong with him wanting to be alone. Being clingy when someone needs their alone time will result in them hating you.
Thats my biggest gripe in relationships. I'm very up front that sometimes I need some days with no or minimal contact and it always backfires with the other person bugging out about how they think they did something wrong, so I have to comfort them and not get my alone time. I fucking hate clingy motherfuckers who need attention 24/7.
no, but a visit is planned within the next few months
this terrifies me =(
but its not like i dont give it to him, seeing as im not physically there.
I think what i am feeling is that its just not fair... i dont like that word "clingy". it berates one for wanting to be with ones lover.
I dont have the strength to break it off though either. I feel it would wreck me.
I can feel alone without having to deal with as much bullshit as this "lover" that you haven't even fucked with yet. I'd just break up.
Life's too damn short to just settle on something as half assed as this.