Hi lgbt, I was wondering if anyone with any experience or advice to give to a closeted gay who is engaged to a girl he loves as a friend? I don't plan on having children and I know someday I will feel unfulfilled if I remain with her. 5 year relationship. I guess I'm pondering the idea of it breaking it off (for common reasons such as financial or dispute about future goals) without outing myself as gay.
I hope you all can take pity on me having repressed feelings about my orientation and my difficulty with coming out. I'm just not ready for my family to hear that yet. I have my own issues to sort out of course, but I'm still really new at this. I've only recently admitted to myself without a doubt I am homosex.
Maybe one of you has insight on this. I'm open to any and all advice you can offer. Better to tell the truth or lie and come out when I'm ready?
I mean, I love her and don't want to hurt her. Do girls flip out if they think they turned their man gay?
Theres a big chance that shes gonna be your friend after you break up.
To be gay is actually a very good reason for a divorce. She will understand. Give her time after that...
Sorry for my english.
Good luck :^)
This, especially if you actually tell her.
I've hung out with a couple oldfags, including one who just came out to his wife of over 15 years and one who dealt with this about 10 years ago after being with his wife of 10 years. Long story short, if you live in a country where being gay probably won't get you killed (USA, Western Europe) then it's WAY more trouble than it's worth to get married with and ESPECIALLY have a child with a woman if you already recognize that you're gay. Handle this now before you actually get married. It's way easier to get out now than when you have a house and two kids with a woman.
I do have to ask, what was the motivation to pop the question if you still had these feelings. I'm not exactly hating on you, but I know that even in my biggest moments of being scared of being gay and the implications (my family is Caribbean so the homophobia can be strong) that I would never but a woman through that, or myself. I suppose with the right FWBs you could stay married, give her awkward sex that withers to nothing, and get your share of dick on the side. I don't think that's a fair thing to do to a partner that possibly thinks you're their other half though unless they're in on it.
I think you should tell her and apologise for stringing her along. You're only going to hurt her and yourself if you keep up this charade. If she loves you as a friend like you say, I'm sure she'll understand. She may even have her own suspicions, who knows?
Also, she'll probably resent you less if you do it now than later down the line when you're married. She might react differently then and not be so understanding. I think there's a far, far lower risk of her outing you to your friends/family now. She's your partner and will hopefully understand.
Don't try and do this alone, would be my advice.
You have very good life here. You have girl that you will marry. Why you would ruin this good situation so you can be alone? I am/was gay but I am married to my wife almost one year now. Let me tell you this is much better life then gay life. In the gay life it is very dangerous the rates of STDs and cheating is so high. Most new HIV infections in homosexuals is homosexuals in "monogamous" relationships but one partner is cheating and infect the other. Gays only do anonymous sex and it is bad life. What you can have with this girl it is much better life. Don't ruin it with her
Why are you on here and not just /hm/ out of curiosity. Why do you care about what us foolish degenerate open gays are doing with our lives instead of hugging your wife and just fapping the next time you get more cocklust on the brain?
Because there is confused people that need help to be straight. I am happy now. And I can help people like OP to choose better life. So he will not choose gay life and die by HIV+.
And I do not look at pictures of men. Because homosexual attractions is result by traumas. If you will fix this trauma normal heterosexual attraction will increase