>>5108849 Straight guy here, and I have a question. I don't mean to generalize, since exceptions always exist; In my experience however... >many lesbians seem agressive and abrasive Why is this? (info and rant below, but that is basic question.) I could sort of get it if it was just towards men, but in my personal experience, it seems to be much worse towards other girls. I live on long island near the fire island ferries (a big lgbt area), so my store always gets a massive influx of lesbians in the summer and fall, and without fail, the lesbian customers will pick fights with the cashiers (mostly young, pretty girls) who work there. I've seen them yell at some of the sweest girls I know, reducing them to tears. I admit, I've never had a conflict myself, as I tend to be quiet and very efficient at my job, but i've definitely noticed that they seem very demanding, and I've had them badmouth many of the cashiers to me. As one woman so elequently put it >"the girls who work here are fucking morons" I will note, that I mostly only see older lesbians (30+ and possibly drunk from parties) so i suppose that could be a factor. Anyway.... I know this apology might sound fake, but >I'm sorry for my rant, just frustrated with seeing my coworkers get yelled at.
Also older dykes are a different breed in my experience too. They're more strict on the gender roles (very femme vs butch with no in between) and tip less in my experience of service work. But overall older dykes are more demanding and strict on a lot of shit. Maybe it's that old fashion shit, maybe older people just suck in general, maybe they've just gone through more shit and it made them bitter, idk.
I find older dykes annoying as hell myself. I like younger lesbians because well I am one. But also among lgbt my fav demographic are super old gay guys, those femme/buff gay dudes to hang with, and tomboy lesbians near my age to date. Hons and older dykes are the worst. Especially the more femme older dykes, like damn they're hot but bitches up the ass.
>>5109131 Op here, some of my friends (who are also gay) have told me that fire island gays are a different "type" of gay and that I shouldn't judge lesbians based of their actions, it just seems to be my only interactions with them, so it may be negatively coloring my perceptions. Again, wanted to apologize, i feel bad for my original post.
>>5100397 >BTW how is Europe generally, or at least where you are at, regarding lgbt. They for it?
Western Europe is really supportive of it, as is Central Europe. There are many events, venues, and informational services available that cater to LGBT people. Of course, there are also some close-minded people around, but you can find them anywhere. Since I live in a really liberal city in Western Europe, my place is well off in that regard. Eastern Europe is more opposed to it, especially Poland. It's mostly due to them being so religious. I'm actually not so sure about Northern and Southern Europe, since I haven't heard much about these places in terms of LGBT stuff, but I guess they don't have any extreme views on it?
>>5109082 I think there's this old-fashioned idea of trying to fit a more masculine ideal, personality-wise. Misguided efforts to act a certain way lead to negative results. In my experience, younger lesbians are relatively chill, older lesbians might come from more of an activism-heavy generation.
Keep this in mind though: people in general are shitty to service industry workers. It's interesting that you've noticed a particular behavior in the lesbian crowd though.
>>5109190 Ya I was in Estonia and Russia for quite a while. At least for those two countries, they are pretty anti lgbt. Estonia is slowly getting there but there are still so many Russians in Estonia it will be a long time before Estonia is all for lgbt. There really weren't any dating sites or places there either obviously. Russia was the same or course. But overall though they estonians and russians are so private about their lives anyway so it doesn't really matter.
"Public Virtues, Private Vices," If you want to experiment and have the money, go to a swinger club. Wear a mask if you don't want to be recognized, be still and eventually some woman will approach you. If you're in your twenties, it's guaranteed some woman will be interested in you.
>see really qt black girl at store >oh wow I mean she is gorgeous >like even if you aren't into black girls she is drop dead hot >can't help but look at her when I see her >she must notice >turns around on me at register >"what are you looking at?!" like I'm mad at her >"o-oh no I...you're just really pretty I'm sorry" >try to make it less gay with "I mean your hair and dress and all" >she just smiles and takes the compliment well. saying I'm sweet and have nice hair and am pretty too
fuck I felt like a pervy troll but I swear to god she could have been a model it was ridiculous. I wasn't stalking her it was just a small store with 2 registers I couldn't avoid her.
I always wonder what would happen if I were to ask a girl out at moments like that. I mean straight strange dudes that are disgusting looking have the balls to ask me out at grocery stores or the library or whenever I'm out not interested at all. I think I'm fairly attractive, I'm skinny and do have nice hair and think I'm cute. It's just the the odds are bad that a random pretty girl is gonna be lesbian or even bi. I feel confident around other lesbians or in gay clubs but around other girls I just get nervous and feel like I should be closeted because what if I creep them out.
>move back to my hometown >girls are even sexier than before >had a straight friend who i crushed on in old town >finally getting confidence and planning to ask a girl out >confide in my straight friend >she immediately tells me she's been fucking someone else >i feel nothing >sends me nudes >they disgust me >wish i was texting girl i'm interested in instead but don't have her number yet
is this what getting over a girl is like? feels good bruh
There's this girl that's 9 years younger and she's pretty cool, but even if she's mature for her age I'm not sure it's a good idea. Specially since my friends keep saying that the reason my relationships don't stick is because I should go out with actual women instead of girls.
>>5110935 If she's above 19 it's between 2 consenting adults. But personally when you're still under 30 there's just so much more development between even 19 and 24 and 29 that it's not worth it, it won't last you're just at such different major points of development.
But if you're both older than 30 it's less a big deal to 31 dating 41 ya know?
I dated older when I was just 20-21. I mean she was +35 older. The generation gap is just crazy more than I expected. Wouldn't recommend.
And I can't date younger than 21. Can't even hang around that age. If I can go out to dinner and legally share a bottle of wine fuck that bull.
>>5110972 I'm 30 and she's 21. So it's legal and we did go out drinking this weekend. She is really mature and we get along alright, plus I'm not that mature, or at least I'm not looking to stay home and settle down like people my age usually do.
My last gf was 24 and after that I kinda dated a 19 year old. And sure there's differences, but idk, I feel like maybe it could work, she seems more put together than my ex, that's for sure.
This thread prompted me to go browse danbooru for Simoun pics, and I discovered that someone uploaded something of mine (pic not related). I only posted it once (to a dead thread at that) and it's the user's sole upload. Weird.
>>5111095 My ex was in school with my younger sister.
The 19 year old meet at work (she was a temp). But even if we still hang out and everything it can be a little weird because she's in many ways a kid. Like this one time she got in a fight with her mom and stayed at my place for a week, which was fun even if I got behind with work.
>>5111743 I just love younger girls. They make me feel young and free. There's no expectations or pressure, it's all games and parties. They are cute, hot and have a lot of stamina. It's refreshing. Sure you have to put up with some things and they have horrible taste in music (a lot of them at least), but they also look up to you and listen to you as if you were telling them how you saved the world, even if it's just some random anecdote. Most don't want a relationships though.
>>5113543 She also has to be model-tier, cook for me delicious food and don't bother me when I don't feel like talking to someone. I'm gonna kill myself if this doesn't happens.
I was thinking of making a lot of money when I grow up (although I'm already 20) and go to Japan and buy or rent cute geisha and rape them, or pick up teenage whores desperate for money on the streets, kidnap them to Finland and happily live there for the rest of our lives. I know they will be happy because I will have a lot of money and they just need to be cute to make me happy back.
Idk. I was reading this weird article on why anime/japanese culture is so popular with autistic individuals. Not that everyone into anime is autistic, it's just a higher rate of autistic people really really get into anime.
It theorized large expressive eyes helped along with how characters will explicitly state their emotions and motives. And then from there it led itself to an obsession with japanese culture but the lack of awareness/empathy made it difficult for them to see japanese as people instead of anime caricatures.
>>5113659 I shit you not I haven't posted it before. Maybe some other cunt but nah.
Plus I've been fucking around in at least the past few threads this week, and while I'm not regularly here I've watched lesgen whenever I'm on 4chan since /lgbt/ was made and haven't seen similar shit. I've just seen making fun of kek for autism/anime reasons but not some theory on it.
It's a whatever theory though. I think it was just coping off that whole thing on autistic people obsessing about children cartoons in general to just being about anime and then japanese culture. >>5113676 Yellow fever duh. Though yeah a lot of asian people that aren't into anime find the whole white weeb thing weird. I'm talking korean + chinese + japanese with asian right now.
>>5113225 >high risk for breast cancer iktf Mom had breast cancer 15 years ago, and is clear now. She felt the tiniest of lumps and went in immediately. Grandma on dad's side had one that spread and killed her. Plus a cousin... To top it off, I have dense hard to palpate breasts.
>>5113764 But why are you so mad about this? She's not saying that everyone who likes it are autists, just that a lot of autists do, which seems kinda true to me? I wouldn't know though. Never really met someone with autism.
>>5113743 >Most people around the world like being treated like people. Loved for who they are and all that gay shit. Not just a fetish. Most people just don't realize what they're doing. Something has to explain the ridiculous number of white man/Asian woman couples, and when they can barely speak the same language I'm reluctant to say it's about 'who they are'.
>>5113764 >https://archive.loveisover.me/lgbt/thread/4418561/#4425767 eh similar but it was more on trannies and was also like back in spring
Also holy shit that whole thread is trannies vs trolls goddamn. We really have gotten slightly better lesgen.
I guess I was expecting something more recent from you (the whole every 1.5 threads) and direct on autism. Just more similar than that. Beside eyes that one was going on about self inserting. Could be there's just a popular article on this subject they were both thinking of.
Coincidentally, today as I was walking back home from uni I crossed paths with this 9/10 redheaded qt in a red summer dress and sunglasses, sitting on some steps (she had bags with her, presumably waiting for someone). Everything about her, even how she had her legs crossed called out my attention so much that I had to look at her once there was some distance so it wouldn't seem weird.
As I looked back I see her turn her head away from me, which makes me think she had been looking at me as well. Or not, but it's good to think on the "what ifs".
>start talking to qt grill >we get along pretty well and stuff >we even spend time together >today I took a picture of her with another girl's phone >she likes it, tells me to tell that girl to send her the picture >I forget about it and remember when all three of us are together, tell girl to send qt the picture >"Oh, anon, I deleted it" >qt gets upset, and tells me to go away because I annoy her
God damn it, I know she's not really mad at me and it was more like a sadness that lasted two minutes, but why do I have to fuck everything up by being so idiotic and autistic? Fucking hell, and it wasn't the first time I did it.
>>5113811 I don't think it's fetish to just be attracted to a different race. It's fetish to put them on a pedestal and not value anything about their person besides their race. Like that one creep troll going on about buying one here>>5113587
>>5113836 >>5113841 d/a, but you're planning criminal activity that revolves around treating other human beings like machinery. Your yellow fever is way beyond fetish or 'liking Asians', and deep into dehumanization.
>>5113825 >>5113829 I am not necessarily concerned about her being mad, as we still talk and everything is like before. But I am concerned that I am too awkward and stupid sometimes. Sigh, I wish I didn't fuck things up so often.
>>5113865 I meant it doesn't even sound like you fucked up, at least from the way you tell the story. It sounds like she's just a bitch. Why didn't she get mad at the girl who deleted the photo? Why didn't she ask the girl herself?
>>5113870 Maybe. Or maybe she just doesn't give a shit about it. You know, it's pretty hard to read her feelings. I have talked to her in the past, I remember that she even said we could kiss some day, but now she's just not like that anymore.
>>5113871 It was more like that "playful" kind of anger. We even talked after it and she seemed okay, even though I was a bit scared, but I did awkward stuff many times before and I'm afraid she will get tired of it someday.
Oh wait I've heard that before. Is she straight or "bi" in that mainly slept with guys + a ffm threesome once?
I mean who says "we could kiss some day" besides straight girls. Either she wants to kiss you and does or she doesn't wanna kiss you but likes the idea of kissing a girl like you in that straight fun drunk way.
>>5114034 I didn't explain it well, my bad. We were talking, saying kind of cute stuff to each other and she told me I'm sweet, I then told her "Have you ever tasted me?" and she replied with "No, but maybe I will once :3".
I also recall talking to her about caves in a night and I jokingly told her "HURR DURR CAVES ARE AWESOME I WILL MOVE INTO ONE" and she said "No, you won't, because I prefer to be with you in a bed, inside of an actual house". Melted my heart tbh.
>>5114590 well greek poems are known for that tragic irony. Like the king of thebes trying to avoid the prophecy of dying by his sons hands so he sends his son away to die, but doing so sets off actions that are what actually lead to his son killing him.
Damn I had a shit public hs education and read greek poems enough to understand them.
>>5114643 I wish I could get hot girls. The only ones that are always sending me pics are fat or just plain janes in need of validation. Or worse, they have literally no tits or ass to speak of. Like what's the point?
>>5113799 How do you people survive in life without going back in situations like this and talking to them? Being late for something or putting off an errand until tomorrow is always worth it. I just don't understand how people ignore their instincts and senses like this and fill their lives up with missed connections. Don't you realize you're a social creature? Prioritize socializing! It's the key to happiness and success.
>>5115461 That's a learn habit, not an immutable part of your personality. Try it enough and you stop getting anxiety over it. People are just people, after all, just like you.
>>5115467 Doesn't the fact that gay+interested is so rare mean you should approach more people, not less? The worst they can do is reject you, and most of the time you can still manage to get an acquaintance or a friend out of it. Social connections are the lifeblood of a person. 2Ds can't replace that for you.
>>5115519 >Doesn't the fact that gay+interested is so rare mean you should approach more people, not less? The worst they can do is reject you, and most of the time you can still manage to get an acquaintance or a friend out of it. Social connections are the lifeblood of a person. 2Ds can't replace that for you.
I mean for one you can't assume anyone not into just hitting on every girl that looks past their way means they're only into 2d bullshit.
But frankly I don't care to have a reputation for myself as that dyke that hits on every qt girl that gives her a hello or smile. I'd much rather get a feel for her interest first, preferably in a setting where it's assumed we're both interested or looking, and above all preferably where it's normal to hit on a girl. Like gay bars, lesbian cafes, parties held by other homos or home depot.
I guess I say this cause it does bug the shit out of me when guys hit on me when I'm just minding my business doing daily shit so empathizing I don't wanna do the same to another girl.
>>5116121 Really, it's like lesbians don't exist here, or even bisluts that go out with girls. It's sort of lonely.
Meanwhile, gaymen get all the lightspot in media and you see a shitton of faggots out in the uni and streets. I understand they are the most oppressed and shit but it's insane, people don't even think lesbians are real, or that girls can love girls without going for cock at the side.
>>5115595 Talking to people that catch your eye doesn't mean you're hitting on them, and it definitely doesn't mean you're hitting on everything that moves. It sounds like you're escalating things in your head to make excuses.
>>5114096 Can't be sure, she's an 18-years-old-virgin.
>>5114105 It's sad that we don't have moments like this anymore. She shows signs that she cares about me, though, and we talk every day. We're going to see a local metal band next week, hopefully they will play their mellow, romantic song we both love so I could make a nice move.
>>5116139 I'm not >>5115461 but yeah, no. That isn't how anxiety works. You can develop habits to help you deal with it, and some can numb it a little through repeated exposure, but it never really goes away. It's still there lurking, and you CAN feel it. The numbness also wears off disgustingly fast if you skip a particular kind of social interaction for a while -- getting back on the horse isn't quite as bad as starting over from zero but it's still pretty fucking rough. It may not be the case for everyone, but anxiety is certainly part of some people's nature.
It feels like opposite world between how mexicans and americans are with gays. In mexico there's more gay guy representation, sure dudes might get shit but for the most part it's kinda left at that. Yet lesbians are considered either disgusting, trying to be a man, or just hidden by the family. But then people treat gay men like jokes like in america they treat lesbians like jokes (though lesbians might get more action in movies and be seen as more ok). Like sure there's maybe a mtf/crossdress on my day time tv but it's right there next to a midget doing a game show.
Though I also feel like the way the outside world treats you and the way family treats you varies a lot. Like I can see a gay man get some shit on the street, get praised by tv, and his family will at least try to deal with him. Lesbians it's ignored on the street or maybe a shout, nothing from tv, and the family will try to change it as much as they can or shit on you till you do. I don't know if that's how others have seen it though. I know my grandma was the most insistent and when I'd whine that there was a gay cousin noone cared about she said it was different because there was higher expectations of me as a woman.
Could just be that within family there's just higher expectations of women in general. Like how brothers can get away with shit that girls can't. And the whole matriarch focus.
>>5116144 I'm not gonna talk to a random girl at a grocery store when there's no reason to talk to her and it's not a social situation. It's not an excuse it's just legit weird shit to do.
Besides if I'm talking to someone that caught my eye it's because I'm hitting on her. How else do you describe talking to a girl you have intentions with? There's honestly not much other reason to go out of my way. I don't need more straight girl friends, I have enough friends. I feel like you're really forcing this kind of pua bs that you have to approach as many girls that interest you as possible out of some number game mentality. I'm saying I only bother when I know the situation/area/time we're in is appropriate for it. Sure it's not a perfect situation but it's the best I got till mind reading is possible. I'm not gonna bother some poor qt girl that's busy and probably straight otherwise.
>>5116211 I don't understand why the media focuses so much in gays here. Like, telenovela? Gay character. Movie? Slutty gay character. TV program? Funny gay character.
Then you go in the streets and you see faggots holding hands. You go in uni and you have open flamers. Where are the lesbians? Nowhere. Fuck this country. The worst thing of all is that no matter how much good media spotlight faggots get, words like "maricón" and "puto" are the top insults in Spanish-speaking countries and heterosexual macho culture won't go away for at least 100 more years.
>>5116250 >Nah, you're not. My family is the same way.
Oh thank god it's not just me.
I've seen this with my two best friends too. Luckily my family is at least not super religious but there's were. The guy is gay and his family was pissed at him for being gay, had him in some gay counseling but eventually they got over it and accept him fine. The girl when she came out her mother slapped her a bit, put her in gay counseling too and still hasn't accepted her and it's been at least 5 years since she even saw her.
I think I'm only lucky because I'm spoiled by my dad. My mom hated it when I came out. And even before she suspected and told me to try to date guys and to fix it and never tell anyone. But my dad just spoils and loves me too much. I don't think he could ever hate me. He didn't like that I was gay but he would never cut me off or hear shit talked about me so everyone had to sort of accept it.
He did lecture me for hours on how I should be straight but then when I started crying he just let it go. Never brought it up again.
>>5116255 This shit is so confusing. In high school I remember it was ok for a guy to be gay but not ok for them to date. Everyone knew who the gay guys were and they were popular enough but none held hands or kissed like other couples. They'd get praise for not being mano floja or effeminate. My best friend was like that, got praise but he said it only worked that he could fuck with other guys but couldn't talk about it or be public, otherwise he'd be a faggot. He liked it though because he didn't want a relationship anyway so it was a good excuse.
That's macho shit. You can be a faggot but not too faggy.
>>5116081 What about that Jane the Virgin show? I thought that was based on a telenovela? And I think there was that one episode of a crime drama I saw on youtube with the lesbian choking her secret lover to death?
>>5116249 People being sociable is pua bs now. You heard it here, folks. It's ludicrous that you're accusing others with being all about the pussy when you're the one dragging it constantly back to hooking up with these people. There's lots of other human relationships.
>>5115431 Surprisingly, for a moment I did feel like walking up to her and talk, but I had no idea what to say. Also, I'm bummed to admit I did not think she'd be lesbian what with how gorgeous she seemed.. (Yet ironically I wouldn't call myself ugly despite being gay)
>made a profile on a dating app >looked around area mostly p ratchet girls >well figure if I make mine a lil more ratchet I'll at least attract some fucks >do a bit >actually attract a real nice qt >not ratchet >she's smart and funny >oh no I wasn't expecting this
How did you get over the self-loathing? What did you tell yourself?
I went to a different therapist today but it was obvious she could only tell me what she learned in college/textbooks about gay people. I would really really like the words of someone who has lived it. I'm being honest with myself about my orientation for the first time, and as a result I went from straight As last year to Ds on my midterms this semester.
Lesbians, please tell me about what it was like for you in your early or worst days, and what you've done since. Please please please. :( I spent all day crying today. I would really like to hear from gay women. About anything. Thanks. I know this is kind of pathetic but ehh.
How do you even come out to your family? It just sounds awkward as fuck. I know they're all going to be okay with it, because being gay isn't a big deal at all in my country, but the thought of having to come out still seems weird as fuck.
I want to marry my gf one day, but I can't really tell if I'm supposed to come out to my entire family first. It might be a little weird for my relatives if they suddenly received an invitation to a lesbian wedding.
My friend is about to call her parents and come out to them. She says there's a 50/50 chance between them accepting her or disowning her. My mom and I live in constant casual disdain for one another so I don't care enough to tell her anything important like my being a lesbian. But my friend is the perfect Christian homeschooled girl next door and her parents not accepting her would be hit her hard. Have any of you gone through similar with your families, lesgen? I just want to know what to say to her in case things go south.
>>5119255 I went to a quality therapist but my self loathing wasn't over being gay. I mean it was there I just felt there were other issues and shit to hate.
I know my worst days were just numbness. Lying there, knowing I was a fuck up, knowing I was a disappointment and yet this crushing apathy keeping me from moving or eating. Just there wishing I could die. Standing over a building thinking this was way too dramatic a death, what a bitch would it be for my parents to get my body all the way out of here, what a shame I was. But I couldn't think of any other way to kill myself that I knew would definitely work. I didn't give a fuck about anything. I used to cry when I got a B on an exam and then failing just didn't blip on my emotions at all. I had numerous friends but then couldn't talk to anyone cause I either felt like a pain in the ass, dead, or like they were whining about stupid bullshit. Then I couldn't talk to them cause how do I explain ignoring everyone for months? "Oh no it wasn't that I was busy I just ignored you because I barely wanted to live let alone check fb that day, nbg". Self help books were bull, I didn't have the fucks to give to read. I was just honestly counting down days till I could find a gun.
I knew in a vague way that I must've had some depression but it was all so disconnected. It wasn't till both therapy + a good friend killing himself that I realized "oh right, probably shouldn't die just yet, guess I should figure what else to do instead of kill myself now".
Anyway now I feel emotions! They're pretty neat to have. Cool shit and all, 9/10 would recommend.
>>5119407 Oh and let me add what I had on the bit of self hate over being gay.
So mine I got over easier when I got over my overall shit. But it was this work of "I bet I'm just a fucked up bitch that's why I can't love a good man. I'm just being shitty and picky and a cunt. Also probably an attention whore even though no one else is aware of these gay thoughts it's attention whore. There's terrible dating odds for lesbians. I'll die alone. No girl I ever like ever likes me back anyway. They're either too straight or too cool for me. I'm just a pervert and deluding myself. I bet I could be straight if I tried harder I just suck too much".
When I got over that hate and really accepted that I was just gay and it wasn't changing anytime soon that part got easier.
>>5119384 Haha, I wish I wasn't such a romantic concept then. I get what you're saying though. My fantasy is about being past the angst stage, not being in it. I know it's not an original pain but it does hurt. Maybe it's in a lot of movies because it's common and relatable. I don't go for living out Hollywood plot lines, this is genuinely something that I'm feeling. I understand why it would be annoying that someone feels this way though.
>>5119374 I don't know any lesbians irl and all the bi girls I know have exclusively dated men, so I feel like a defect. My parents are pretty liberal but my mom has always disliked lesbians because she think they're predatory. I'm scared that future female friends will think I'm predatory because a lot of girls love being touchy-feely and love their "girl crushes" and "friend dates" and "uwu support and compliment other girls uwu" stuff, but god forbid you're wired to actually like girls. I dunno. When people have suspected in the past that I'm gay, they've held it over my head like it's a shameful secret that gives them power over me. I don't know anyone like me irl, I feel dysfunctional. I know it'll be okay though and there are worse things in the world. Thanks for asking.
>>5119255 I never struggled with any sort of anxiety or depression. I just looked at myself, felt thankful I wouldn't be subject to the classic straight girl problems, and looked at vaginas. I'm still in the phase where I imagine being surrounded by boobs, ass, and vagina.
>>5119359 My gfs family don't talk to her much. At least now they do a bit of talking now. At first it was radio silence for a couple years there. Can't do shit about hardcore baptists like that.
I'm real shit at that kind of comforting thing and still think I'm shit at it. When it first happened I was right there when she came out so at first they were blaming me and I just took it. Kinda sucked cause I'd met her family before as "just roommates" and they liked me a lot. After they just cut her away.
We're both similar in that if neither of us likes to be around others when crying/upset so I gave her space for that. If it goes bad you just have to know your gf well enough, know how she likes to be comforted. There's no magic words to make your family not accepting you better.
Then she just got much closer with my family. They're not liberal gay-accepting models for it, but my mom is very anti-church bs and everyone is accepting in that stuck with family kinda way. Plus she really is the sweetest gf and better than a lot of the other in-laws so it works out that my family likes her a lot.
>>5119504 Thank you so much, reading your reply made me feel a lot better. I can relate to a lot of what you wrote. Have you beaten the terrible dating odds since then? I'm really glad your emotions are back! They can be very useful and exciting. I hope your will to live stays strong.
Working on overall shit is really good advice. I've been trying to figure out how to compartmentalize so that I can get back to schoolwork. The new therapist I went to today basically said "have you tried making all this not the case? be gay on your own time, not during midterms." But I could think of studying as something that's complementary to working through lesbophobia instead of unrelated to it. Thank you!
>>5119541 That is a definite thing to be thankful for! I think many people do drown in their gender roles and gendered expectations when they're dating. There are a lot of resentful mothers who feel their lives didn't work out because they had to spend time cooking/cleaning/raising kids by default and their husbands didn't. I don't know if this is what you mean by "classic straight girl problems" but I don't mind not replicating any of that.
I'm really glad to hear you didn't struggle! Realization followed by shrugging is awesome. :)
>>5119583 Yeah I've dated, it's been cool shit. The odds aren't actually so horrible in practice. Makes me feel less broken to see that I can feel love and all that emotion shit and am not just broken, it's just gotta be girls instead of guys.
And fuck compartmentalizing. For schoolwork try to see if they have any kind of general tutoring help or a program on time management. Really the main shit that'll get you through schoolwork while on depression (besides ya know good therapy and medicine and talking shit out) is time management. I mean scheduling your shit down to 30 min intervals. Depression will fuck up your concept of time. You'll spend hours or days in numb bs and not even realize how much time has passed. Get your calendar synced with everything.
Other things that helped that you can try for depression:
Vitamins link b12, zinc, or st johns wort. I found some success (or maybe it's placebo aaaallll along) with a multi that had those + a few others and I took it every other day or so. Mainly cause I had this shit habit of just not eating the whole day out of apathy until I got painfully hungry and binged on a box of macaroni so I figured I should fake get some vitamins somehow.
Oh and drink a ton of water.
Exercise helps. Running was a weird kind of miracle that I now like. Endorphin or some shit. Maybe we were all just made to suffer in someway and if you don't force it in exercise your mind forces it in other ways. Who the fuck knows. Try couch25k. But really the more ok I got with how gay I was the more I got into caring about my appearances so getting fit helped. I can't say yoga has ever given me that emotional release but I do like it for how fucked out my body feels after. And I can do the splits and a handstand now so that's neat.
And mindful meditation. I'd recommend this book. I know it's become a kind of meme on 4chan but it really has helped me to deal with my anger and self hatred and general anxiety on shit so I can get out of my head.
Have any of you guys (voluntarily) had sex with a man before you realized you were a lesbian? How did you feel during and after the act? Did it help you realize your true sexuality?
((I thought I was bi, but then I lost my virginity to an objectively attractive man, and while it wasn't traumatizing or anything, I felt nothing. I have not had the opportunity to form a relationship with a woman so I'm looking towards you guys for some stories.))
>>5119733 I tried once with a real ugly dude while I was drunk. Just to try sex. Before I even let myself think I might be gay. During I kept thinking he was gross looking but I was throwing him a bone. Then I kept thinking he was trying way too hard and after it was just this "oh that's it. huh. feel like I should feel more".
Then later when I thought I might be gay I tried again with a guy that was handsome and buff. And then I cried just sitting on him cause nothing was happening for me and I just kept thinking of this other girl and just realized I was full gay. After I just thought he was a super nice guy and felt shitty for putting him through that since he was my friend.
>>5119733 Nope, but I would be open to having sex with a man if I liked him. I'm already out. Before I came out I tried to several times but backed out in panic and disgust. I don't enjoy penetration, so there's one thing that will probably always turn me off about guys. The thought of their dicks going inside me grossed me out or bored me. The guys approaching me didn't seem all to great either. Now that I have come out and am comfortabe (and met guys who aren't dicks) I would probably try it for the hell of it. Deep down I know I probably would regret it or not enjoy it at all, and that's what kept me from doing it.
>>5119715 In therapy and on meds for years already (both are great and help a lot), but yeah some big stuff that I'm still terrible at are keeping a sleep schedule where I go to bed before 5 am, putting down my computer, and not procrastinating. Obviously not unrelated. I'll check out the book and couch25k for sure, thank you for the recommendations. You're right about the apathy and food avoidance. Vitamins are a good idea. I always always take my psych meds, that's the one thing I'm always consistent and responsible about, so I could be consistent with vitamins as well.
Honestly, thank you so much for talking to me, you seem really cool and level-headed and have really good practical advice. I really really needed to spend even 5 minutes interacting with a lesbian, I really appreciate you taking the time to be that person. I can't imagine talking to a sad baby gay is the most interesting thing so thank you again. It's nice to get advice that comes from a place of empathy and not just sympathy. I will really try to incorporate it into my life. This may also be the first time that someone has recommended that I run to combat depression and I have actually wanted to do it! :P I'm super glad you have found effective healing/coping mechanisms and have found girls to love! I hope things keep looking up for you. You are such good people, ty ty. <3
>>5119767 Your second experience is almost exactly like mine, only I wasn't really thinking of girls. I couldn't finish and I felt really guilty. I even tried a few more times with him, but I couldn't do it.
>>5119782 Haha yeah I'm tempted to try different men (since those are much more readily available than lesbians) but if I apply a bit of rational thought I know I definitely wouldn't enjoy it.
>>5119359 Update. They didn't really disown her but they aren't being very accepting, besides acknowledging that, at the end of the day, she's an adult and can make her own decisions. She said that they did imply that if she wanted to go to conversion therapy first and still "felt this way" that they'd be more willing to accept it.
>>5120509 I remember those. Mostly tripfags. Kinda annoying. Like why randomly talk about your bf in a lesbian thread? There's bigen, go do that shit there.
I remember the one girl that didn't liking eating/touching pussy, was dating an ftm (not pre mones either, just fully into transitioning), and still considered herself a lesbian and was pissy that we weren't buying her shit. I mean jesus imagine the poor dude stuck with that deluded sow.
But I just thought that was one curious babydyke asking a question cause it's a very babydyke question and didn't come off as trollbait as some other shit.
>>5120814 >creeper some /soc/ whore who said she was a lesbian when she actually had a bf the whole time. You can find her threads on /soc/ from time to time where she keeps saying she's going to commit suicide via drinking and beta dumbasses continue to go "awww, no baby, i love you"
>adori says she's a lesbian and yet she finds men attractive and recently started to date her bf from high school, ayyy lmao
I'm just so sick of dishonest lying women who say they're les when they're really not.
>>5120480 She's not a "babydyke" she's a dumbass who doesn't realize she's not a lesbian. Because truth is - if you have terrible experiences with men, aren't attracted to them, but aren't attracted to women either and still want to keep trying with dudes? That's not lesbian. That's called being a fucking moron.
>>5120866 >You can find her threads on /soc/ from time to time where she keeps saying she's going to commit suicide via drinking and beta dumbasses continue to go "awww, no baby, i love you" What the hell
>>5119733 Yeah I was actually in a relationship with a guy for a while. The relationship just felt like a regular friendship for me, but the very few times we did have sex I just felt uncomfortable, painful, and afterwards I just felt gross. Growing up I'd always been told that sex can hurt and not many girls have orgasms so I thought it was normal. After I finally realised why it wasn't working, I had my first real relationship with a great girl, and I realised sex is actually something you should look forward to haha
>>5119733 Why would any lesbian want to have sex with a man? My guess is that you're probably bisexuals but happen to be leaning towards women because no way in hell a lesbian would sleep with a dude. I know this because my sister is one and she turned down every guy so far that tried to confess to her and as we predicted is engaged with a girl two years older than her and she never once found any interest in "having sex with men." But I guess everyone is different. Still you shouldn't sleep with whatever person you find you should only do it with someone you like.
The closest I ever came was when I really good friend asked if we could try a date. We went to the cinema and when he went to hold hands it felt weird as shit and I generally couldnt get into any of it. Hugged him and apologised.
>>5119733 I tried to when I was in the closet, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I let him eat me out, but it didn't go further than that and even that felt weird. I wasn't turned on at all and I kept thinking about trivial things such as: "Gotta go buy milk after we're done with this" etc. It sucked as I really liked him - he was awesome personality-wise and quite good-looking as well - but we just couldn't have any real relationship together.
>>5120774 lol are you one of these butthurt wanna-bians?
Cause no one ever gets salty here when another anonnette talks about having a gf or getting a date. It's either congrats or some tfwnogf but no anger. Hell even back when fat ass adori first came on having a gf it was "well, if she can have one I can have one too, there's hope".
It's literally just retarded to come to a lesbian thread talking about dick or your bf. And tripfagging is extra retarded in general.
>>5120866 wow glad af for /soc/ containing that bs
>>5120759 I don't really like penetration but I like being degraded. Sometimes my gf fucks me with a strapon and I like it because shes dominating me. Fingers aren't anything like dicks or strapons. Fingers have way more flexibility and movement. It's not comparable.
>>5120866 Creeper isn't a "/soc/ whore who said she was a lesbian when she actually had a bf". It's hilarious that you are so gullible you'll believe any old rumor, though. Getting attention from guys isn't the same thing as not being gay.
This shit is fucking AOTS seriously I don't know why no one of you is watching this. >gorgeous women >cowtits >massive cowtits >moderate chests >DFCs >GAR governor >older women fucking with each other >grorious nipple design >uncensored >lesbians
>inb4 "m-muh tasteless" People that have never watched ecchi and think every anime should be Kino no Tabi or some shit.
Yuri Hime is shit, having a series of some bitches crushing on girls disguised as dudes, sasuga. At least it seems aimed at the girls reading the magazine or whatever, that's probably too gay for the male moe pigs to like. Anyways, I'm curious about their glorious revolutionary idea of mixing yuri with other genres.
>>5123935 >I'm curious about their glorious revolutionary idea of mixing yuri with other genres. It's a good idea but mostly badly executed, so far. Tachibanakan and Shoujo Shikkaku are at least partially translated. 12-minute etude is club activities/bandfaggotry, like a painfully unremarkable version of Eupho. Last Waltz is actually pretty fun.
>>5124156 No. What Yuri Hime needs is to fire all the shitty editors, stop pandering to purefags, stop focusing on making sales for such a niche genre, and bring the yuri back, even if that would mean to go back to being quarterly.
With this new system they want to implement we will have cute girls killing monsters while blushing and telling each other how much of good best friends they are.
I'd be fucking stoked if YH went back to the quarterly, with the type of content they had from ~2008-2013, but not if it kills the magazine forever. Even if the main magazine isn't great right now at least they're using their money to tankify good doujinshi series -- making them accessible to way more people. It's suspicious how good their taste in doujinshi is, actually.
They can't fire Ricchii, he IS Yuri Hime. He was there when they were still Yuri Shimai.
>>5124239 It's not that. It's just that I haven't been able to find a girl that's interested (or even lesbian, for that matter), and with that I've little hopes for the future. I feel lonely at times, although I convince myself I'm not, yet I almost always find myself acting needy around close female friends every time we meet up. It's hard man, and although I know guys don't give me the butterflies that girls do, I sometimes wonder if it would be better to be with one rather than being alone.
This probably sounds stupid. It's just another Saturday night for me I guess
>>5124280 I tried this, not because of not being able to find a grill, rather because I was deep in denial and living in a rather conservative area.
It only made things worse. I was with nice, hot guys and yet I felt more alone than ever, because I couldn't really feel anything for them.
Even if I had company it did nothing to fill the emptiness inside. Plus I felt disgusting after sex, I remember one time I had to shower right after, crying while the dude was in the room net door.
It takes time to find someone you like, but the wait is worth it. I recently started going out with a grill from school and feel better than I have in years since I just accepted than being gay is not that big a deal, not that it was easy.
But they do take practice. Guess all strap ons do. They feel kinda awkward wearing but then they're fun. Usually a harness/strap on is set up to rest on the wearers clit so the wearer gets pleasure from it in that way, especially if it vibrates.
Strap less are my fav. I always shill the eternal swan cause it's my fav, small so great if you don't give a fuck for large size but want something that bit bigger than a few fingers, pink and adorable, vibrations are great w easy setting, and comes in a cute bag for travel. Velvet something is another brand I like, not strapless but real good for hitting your clit and the texture/build of it. Feeldo is the general go to strapless strap on, I used to have a blue one, it was decent. There's at least a couple other good ones I'm not thinking of rn cause it's late af and I'm kinda fucked up so maybe tomorrow.
Oh but with strapless most harness will fit for most strapless so it's not a big deal if you can't manipulate it as well without. But kegal exercises do do wonders for making it better.
>>5124439 Thanks a bunch. My girlfriend has a pretty hard to get at clit, I have to spread to get there so I don't think the strap would do that? I'm green as all hell on this stuff. We both are. You mention strapless takes work? How much? She's less interested in sex stuff than I and may lose interest if it's a whole lot.
Favorite lesbian shows and movies? I watched "But I'm A Cheerleader" and a bit of some anime with I think "Strawberries" in the title (don't remember what it was called, I'm sure some of you know) and didn't like either. What's actually good? Preference for light hearted media over angsty.
>>5124492 That's kinda lame. She should be willing to try more.
But it took me like 2 tries to get the hang or strapons, strapless took an extra attempt on it's own after a good week of kegal exercises. It's easier if she's riding you. Or I get that you're the one that wants to get fucked so you'd be riding her.
Or just wear a harness while wearing the strapless strap on. Like training wheels on a bike till she builds the muscle to hold it on it's own.
On pleasure it's more if she prefers that kinda g-spot inner stimulation or clit. You say it's hard to get at the clit but trust me when I say they build quality strap ons to be doing nothing but hitting that clit area. A lot of girls don't get of on just g-spot penetration alone.
But you could just cover all bases. Get something like the share vibrate (lovehoney.com/product.cfm?p=32202). I only ever tried a share once, older model than that without vibrate, but it was really good at hitting both clit and g spot. It def stayed in with more ease than the feeldo or even eternal swan. I just didn't care for the size of it but that's just me being a pussy. They make smaller sizes, bigger too.
>>5124568 I always have a love for 5girls because it's got lesbians and ron perlman but it's not exactly a great lesbian movie. Just some old horror thing I remember watching when young and being all "waaah, lesbians! amazing"
>>5124234 It would kill the magazine. It only exists because it appeals to a very niche market in the very small romance field of cartooning. Water that down and it appeals to nobody. Then they're dead.
I never said YH is preventing other yuri magazines to become big in the market, just that if it dies another big magazine would (probably) eventually emerge. The main magazine is shit, it can die for all I care.
Enjoy your cute girls doing cute things, killing aliens while holding hands and call each other their best friend in January.
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