/lgbt/, I need help dealing with a homophobe.
I teach at a highschool. One of my students in 6th period is literally homophobic. Not in the "I hate faggots" sense, but in the "terrified, shaking, pissing yourself" sense.
From what I understand after having talked with his parents, it started when he was about 8, and was raped by a man. After that it's like he hit the worst lottery ever. Apparently he was raped two more times by age 14, and molested once. Then when he transferred to this school to get away from a previous abuser and mockery from other students, a handful of gay kids took notice of him, and one of them tried to hit on him. ( He groped him. ). After he had a panic attack and wigged out, the gay kids pick on him because they think he's a bigot, and not because of legitimate issues.
The school has taken action, but they can't be everywhere at all times. These kids still get to him. He comes into my class crying sometimes. Quite often he spends entire periods in the nurses office or doing schoolwork in the detention hall because he shares classes with gay kids.
He's come to trust me, and I'm probably his favorite teacher. However he doesn't know I'm gay. Quite honestly I don't know how to handle this situation. I feel like, with time, he could get better and come to trust lgbt folk. I just don't know how to get him there, especially with a bunch of highschool teens harassing him when there isn't staff around.
Honestly, it sounds like he needs as much protection as you can offer. See how far you can push with a suspension on these other kids. I'd say the same, no matter the nature of the bullying. You have a kid's future on the line, that level of bullying can have a huge effect on how he preforms in school. These kids need to see that their actions have serious consequences, I doubt they want to ruin their records over an easy target.
If they're groping him or making him feel uncomfortable with sexual advances (even mockingly) it should be considered sexual harassment and treated as such. Get a police officer to give a talk to the whole school about how much shit you can get into by sexually harassing some one and make a point of how sexual harassment doesn't always have to be hetero. If he were a girl and it was straight guys doing that they'd be facing a mountain of shit so large right now that they'd kill their pets just to escape it. Also don't let him know you're gay until/unless he sees a therapist and gets through these issues, you're his only real support at school by the sounds of it and I'd he lost that who knows how he'd take it. Last thing we need is another school shooting or a suicide. Ultimately just keep up the good work dude.
>If they're groping him or making him feel uncomfortable with sexual advances (even mockingly) it should be considered sexual harassment and treated as such. Get a police officer to give a talk to the whole school about how much shit you can get into by sexually harassing some one and make a point of how sexual harassment doesn't always have to be hetero. If he were a girl and it was straight guys doing that they'd be facing a mountain of shit so large right now that they'd kill their pets just to escape it. Also don't let him know you're gay until/unless he sees a therapist and gets through these issues, you're his only real support at school by the sounds of it and I'd he lost that who knows how he'd take it. Last thing we need is another school shooting or a suicide. Ultimately just keep up the good work dude.
<THIS with one exception, you are his teacher, he has NO NEED to know you are gay.
Just throwing out there the kid can become three thing a tremendous gaylord faggot that hates himself,a guy from /pol/ or a normal human being.It all depends o your actions op so chose wisely
Yes, I can. Because I'm not an idiot manchild that sees competent adults as some kind of simplistic unicorn and recognize they have their own histories, hobbies, and quirks.
I know a dude who has been on this website for almost a decade. He is incredibly wealthy from buying up companies, firing everyone, and dissolving all of their assets for a living. He has a beautiful wife, he is respected by others in his field, and he makes gifts of brandy and cigars. He also thinks about dragons all the time and has seen Boku no Pico and all of its sequels. He is a product of his environment, just like all of us.
Life doesn't end at 20, cuntbucket.
You're not going to get anywhere with those kids harassing him. You also can't replace a mental health professional, so don't even try. You need to get those kids to lay the fuck off. If disciplinary action isn't working (they probably think they're hotshit martyrs fighting a conspiracy of bigotry, because teenagers are retards) then lay it all out for them. Explain he doesn't unreasonably hate gay people, he has emotional fallout from bad history that you can't get into. Explain that you know what real bigotry looks like, and this isn't it. The kid needs time, and this hooliganism isn't giving him any to heal. Harassment is just going to make the situation worse.
If they aren't utterly worthless, that should get to them.
The guy you described sounds like an asshole. He destroys jobs and negatively affects the customers and suppliers of the companies he buys for nothing but personal profit. If all business people were like him, we'd all be fucked living in ghettos.
Stay the course with the trust, don't mention it to him, don't bring it up. He needs a demonstration that will go against what he's experienced until now. In the years when he's about to leave school, let him know. Then point out nothing is different.
The other kids need to understand the situation, but it should be up to him really if he wants to divulge anything.
Besides that I'd say there's not much you can do, other than give examples of how gays aren't all rapists and not all rapists are gay. He needs to learn the separation in the categories.
i do, for one. s'not an always thing, though, just when i'm alone with a guy or something like that (bonus points for dark rooms, closed spaces, etc).
Show him some yaoi. Start easy, perhaps show him some fanart of kingdom hearts, perhaps it will be easier for him if he sees that even Sora enjoys a little cuddle from time to time. Then let him watch sensitive pornograph when he is ready, so he can unserstand that it is all about romance and feeling safe.
You could show him pic related saying something like:
>You see that? Sora is scared too... But inside he knows he wants it, he craves it. That is why he's really afraid. It's okay to be scared, everyone is scared their first time.
>You also can't replace a mental health professional, so don't even try
people with psychology majors have no better idea of what the fuck they're doing than any mildly intelligent person
I wouldn't come out and say you ate gay right away
But it would probably be good for him to have an example of a gay person who isn't a dick in his life.
Help him through his inner-turmoil and then sell your story to Hollywood
Nah jk, but do help if you can
Well see if you can get the gay kids together and tell them to cut that shit out.
And tell them the truth (or at least some of it, as much as you feel is okay to disclose) about why the kid is acting like that. Its not right for them to do it either way, but they will be more likely to stop if they don't see him as a gay hater.
Sit them all down with him. Explain to them whats happened to him. DON'T reveal you're gay since thats just gonna erase all progress you've made with him as he'll feel betrayed. Its not gonna be easy and he'll always have problems. Best you can do is deal with his bully problems.
Reading this whole post was an experience to say in the least. Especially,
>He doesn't know I'm gay
The kid needs therapy badly. The therapist should be versed in trauma of a sexual nature. Double plus good if the therapist knows gender issues too. The kid will also need to be protected from the bullies.
Get a copy of "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van Der Kolk and read it. It is the best book I've read on trauma and it's treatment.
hard to make a post less believable than this
> he shares classes with gay kids.
Wow what the hell? Do you guys all live in California? When I was in school if you were gay you would have no friends/get beat the fuck up.
Also it's sort of fucked that OP says he is a teacher and posting on /lgbt/
Not op, but I'm 30 and have been on 4chan for 10 years, on and off, and I'm in medical school. Plenty of other medfags are on 4chan as well. Anon is kind of like project mayhem- we're your waiters, your police, your doctors, and your teachers. We're everywhere.
>He is incredibly wealthy from buying up companies, firing everyone, and dissolving all of their assets for a living. (...), he is respected by others in his field
Is this a real field?
I think you just have to be there for him and I'm bisexual so I know you may want to tell him but in this case maybe it's best if he doesn't know. I think you should see if he could be able to see a school counciler (sorry about spelling) if possible or if he could get help else where. Also the people that are bullying him need to be send to the head teacher
Well, clearly his homophobia is justified.
The gay kids probably think it's hot that he got raped and will try to do it themselves.
Encourage the kid to take self defense classes and maybe if its okay give him some mace or something. If he gets in a fight, let him kick the shit out of those pricks until they bleed before doing something.
I lived in texas and went to a catholic school and we had some openly gay kids. No one ever really harassed them. Not really much bullying in general there actually.
The most off color thing I can remember someone saying to a gay guy was during the school musical one guy asked a gay guy in the cast whether semen tastes different based on what you eat. Everyone was like Dude wtf.
[spoiler]Then the gay guy said yeah it did and got his own helping of Dude wtf[/spoiler]
He's a future /r9k/ shooter waiting to happen
None of the people i post pictures of are underage, one of them is from "gay boys world" must be over 18. Rest of them are also well over 18. The yaoi pics are of guys with muscles. In fact, I just posted some very sexy pictures of boys, that were made to look as appealing as possible, then you looked at them and your knee-jerk reaction was to think of pedophilia. That makes you the potential pedophile. Because you looked at those pictures and imagined it to be children. Looking at yaoi is like looking at a rorsach test, healthy people like me see young adults in healthy sexual relationships, while a pedophile like you would emediatly imagine it being children, because that is what you want to see. You're projecting bruh. Really, you should see a therapist about that stuff. I suspect it is dormant in you since you're so unaware, but when you grow old and lose inhibition you might end up becoming Herbert the pervert.