Hey /lgbt/, I have a very serious question. What does dysphoria feel like? Is it something you feel physically? Is it a mental state? A thought? An emotion? Pic related, I imagine it feels like an existential crisis.
walking down a crowded street in the middle of summer wearing this
Dysphoria is wearing jeans every day since puberty because you don't want people to see the hair on your legs. Dysphoria is treating women like property and hating yourself for it, but doing it anyway because you're supposed to. Dysphoria is cringing every single time you see a picture of yourself or hear your voice played back. Dysphoria is a seven year old wondering if their parents lied to them about their gender. Dysphoria is the pit you feel in your stomach when someone questions your masculinity. Dysphoria is like having a panic attack when you try to use a urinal.
Dysphoria is the sense that something is deeply and severely wrong.
Physically you feel like a broken machine. Parts of your body you're supposed to be proud of feels like diseased tumors and you want to rip them off. You feel, not figuratively, but literally physically trapped in your body. Every move you make is compounded with several kilotons of discomfort, it's like your body has invented an arthritis for itself. You shave off your hair until it's down to the follicle and you have shaving bumps everywhere. You grab at your breasts that are not there. You dream of amputating your genitals. You dream of cutting off your breasts. Through all this intense discomfort, you awkwardly shuffle about in this bizarre contraption that people tell you is perfectly natural and what you're supposed to have, you question whether or not it's worth it to be alive.
Mentally it's a whole different game. Anxiety, depression, loneliness, you feel so incredibly irrelevant to society. You know that there are people who hate you everywhere, people who think you're a freak and you're not really the gender you want to be. You know that they're probably right. You feel shit all around you and become phenomenally depressed. You find yourself praying that Buddha was right and that someday you'll reincarnate into the beautiful person you're meant to be. But for now, you're hanging onto a thread.
Uh actually, now that someone is questioning it, it's uh. Kinda hard putting things into words.
You just. feel like somethings not right. And no matter what you do, you can't shoo the feeling away. Just by seeing a real male, I can't shake away the feeling of wanting that body he's in, and it's both surreal and depressing to the point that I question the meaning of the universe and why I have to feel this way.
It ain't good, bruh
this, but also on your knees or on stilts and wearing stiff, three-fingered gloves. also, you have to walk around with the person you have a crush on and are not allowed to explain to him / her why you're doing it, just that it's a "very serious matter".
You are literally stuck in your body. You know it wasn't meant for you but you're stuck there anyway. You feel like you're in a science fiction movie.
To me, this song perfectly describes gender dysphoria.
"There are no means for escaping this world
It penetrates even into your sleep
And is his substance
You are caught in your own dreaming
Where there is no space
And a hell forever where there is no time
You can't do nothing you aren't told to do
There is no hope for escape from this dream
That was never yours
The very words you speak are only it's very words
And you talk like a traitor
Under it's incessant torture"
P. much, Ligotti, p. much.
Great news! A new escape method has recently come out just for you!
I would say it's the opposite of an existential crisis. You spend most of dysphoria thinking about how beautiful and amazing life is and how you can't take part in it because you're a freak.
> Is it something you feel physically? Is it a mental state? A thought? An emotion?
It's all of those things. I have physical sensations (phantom genitals) but most often I just feel weird and out of place. Like I have this horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. As a kid I felt this whenever I would bathe or go to the bathroom and didn't know why.
Feeling or looking at my junk just makes me feel so strange and revolted, like I'm in a nightmare I can't wake up from.
I've had a dissociative episode once, one of the few times I had sex. I suddenly felt completely detached from my body, like I couldn't understand the sensations I was feeling. That's a pretty extreme form of dysphoria, I haven't felt that since.
What you're all describing sounds awful as fuck; but don't give up motherfuckers
I'm a cis scum but I have been having dissociative disorder for over a year due to a traumatic event (unrelated to gender shit)I've had a lot of awful obsession, and one of them was that I started to question my gender real hard during the first months, I even had a dozen of panic attacks, even though sometimes I even felt like I was totally ok with my body, like nothing wrong since I'm a kid,, but this obsession still pursued me and it felt sooo scary to think about the fact that if I'm trans I'd have to go through transition and tell my family and stuff
That's why sometimes I think I kind of know what gender dysphoria feels like, even though I went through it for like 5 months, I think I get what it feels like and I think you guys definitely need help more than some more hate
Think harder about it. Do you really want to be the opposite gender? Your logic sounds similar to mine when I first realized I was trans, I thought it was related to other stuff and I was seeing trans as a "way out" so to speak.
Here's an exercise my therapist did with me: Imagine yourself as your current gender. All of your psychological problems are solved, you are a mentally sound person, but you are still the gender you are.
Now imagine that instead, you still have all your psychological problems, but you are the opposite gender.
Think about which one sounds more appealing, and when I say appealing, I genuinely mean appealing because transitioning is about what you want and letting yourself be happy and well, if you're trans, you're pretty fucking used to denying yourself what you want.