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Dating help
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You are currently reading a thread in /lgbt/ - Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender

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A thread for everyone that may need help with relationships or anything pertaining to the dating scene
I met a trans girl in a "where to get a bf" thread a couple weeks ago. She was just starting transition and was looking for a trans friendly bf
We live closeish to each other and really hit it off I think
Made plane to meet up and start dating
She had a lot on her plate coming up
Job transfer
Getting a new place to live
Doctor stuff to start her official transition or whatever
She suddenly stopped talking to me last week and I dont know what to do
I can see she gets my messages. just one a day wishing her well or asking if she got that transfer or saying I'm thinking of her
Do I continue to be patient?
Am I being pushy?
she probably doesn't care about you.

Source: am mtf, and there's thousand ppl like you who all behave the same
We were talking non stop every day before that
I think she just got busy with all her stuff
I just hope she is encouraged by my little messages not annoyed. It is kinda bleh sending messages every day but its only been a week so like 6 messages. I was going to back off and wait a bit but she seemed to like me a lot
You sound very innocent and you don't deserve this. But I know this. You start off chatting, being like "ok lets give dis guy a chance" and after a week you don't want to answer him anymore, because you realized he is shallow chaser scum. You are just trying to get in her pants anyways and after that you'd do the same.
We didnt talk much about sex stuff, mostly games
She DMs tabletop and I'm new at it so she offered to help me out and she wanted to join my group
We were going to game together
And yeah I wanted in her pants, same with any girl I'm interested in
But not casually
Well, ok. There always is the chance that you wouldn't leave her after fucking her. Sadly she probably made other experiences. So that doesn't go in your favor.

And consider under what circumstances you two met, too. You met in a "mtf+chaser dating thread". That's how you got to know each other. This leaves a strong implication that you are only interested in her, because of fetishism. Or would you think you would've lost interest if you two didn't work well together? Do you work well together? She would assume that you don't care about her as a person at all. No matter how much fun you had, because you could just act. Really is weird how many guys harmonize well with pretty transgirls. They're all made for them. No clue why she gives a thread like that a chance in the first place, but what do I know?

So yeah. You don't have good cards in this game. All you can do is hope to meet again and gain her trust. That is if you really do care about her.

Chances are she is gonna cut contact. That's usually how it goes.
Well it wasnt a chaser bf thread
I dont chase and I dont look for hookups on lgbt
I was serious
I guess I'll just be patient
22 neet self med mtf in progress in finland, never dated anyone and my only friends are online living oceans away, is it all over for me?
>Well it wasnt a chaser bf thread
sure it wasn't
>I dont chase and I dont look for hookups on lgbt
To me you kind of sound to be chasing after her. Can't leave the big love of your life alone, eh?
Are you ridiculing me for trying to date? Not chase, but date?
Like legitimately try to start a relationship. Communication is part of a relationship and it stopped suddenly. I'm just asking if I should be patient or continue to send encouraging messages to let her know I'm still interseted
I'm not sure if I should stay with my boyfriend, he really acts like two different people, sometimes he's really nice and sweet others he insults me, hits me and purposely makes me cry. He also occasionally acts really chaserish telling me he'll leave if I get srs, but I really don't have anyone else to talk to right now and I'm scared of being alone
>hits me
why would you ever not leave him
I suppose you gotta stick to annoying her. Once you reach the one year mark, maybe it proved you do care about her. Which would be weird, since you don't know each other for long. That comes of a little creepy but whatever.

She could always just block out your communication, if she wanted to. So there is something to be said that she didn't.

And yes, I am ridiculing you for trying to date. I know my chaser scum. And I don't like them.

Get a job. Pay for some hobbies. Be nice to the people you meet, except when they're assholes. You will know when you really care about someone and you'll let them know. I'm sure.

Do you two have a thing going on where he might mistake being an ass for being dominant or alpha? Do you like it rough in bed and he doesn't know where to stop?
>he'll leave if I get srs
dump his ass. You can be alone.
>Get a job
I wish I could. There are no jobs and the ones that are available are queued to high heavens by more qualified people. I like video games, art and movies you dont meet people with these hobbies tho. Only person aside from family members I've talked to irl for the past year has been the grocery store clerk.
Heres another question then
How do I date a trans girl without being called a chaser?
She added me
Is it a catch 22?
Do I have to wait for them to find me? Isnt her looking specifically for a bf chasing? Chasing a boy because he is a boy
I know I should leave him, our relationship is really unhealthy, I'm just in a really bad place right now where I don't have much social contract with anyone now I'm living away from home.
I'm certain he doesn't think he's doing anything wrong but he's a serious sadist, I don't mind a bit of that but he often goes way too far and he's also really emotionally abusive at times
You're just lazy. Focus on doing something good every day. Make a small effort everyday and reach a goal each day.
>Is it a catch 22?
yes it is

The only realistic way trannies are not gonna worry about the chaser thing is if they meet someone in real life and they get interested in her without knowing shes trans. Everything else has this stale taste of feeding someones sexual experiences in exchange for just another boring fuck.
There are like 10x the amount of ppl who are into trannies then actual passable trannies that would be worth chasing after. We don't like being catalysts for the fetishistic progress of this world. Being used once and thrown away.

In the first thought she IS looking for a bf, yes. But that is just a small glimpse of hope we get sometimes. "Maybe I'll get lucky and find the right one".
>proceeds to get baited into a retarded thread
>gets reminded of the catch 22

Are you a fetish object being a boy? You're not nearly as much annoyed as we are.

I totally understand you wanting to date a transgender person. I get that your surfacing thoughts are pretty innocent. You'll give the thing a chance, be nice and realistic. yadda yadda yadda. And why a transgender girl and not a normal one? Because it's something new and spicy. Something exciting. I get that. I felt that appeal once too.

Reality is a normal relationship between someone who wants to make experiences with a transgirl and said transgirl are very unlikely. For once because chaser lose interest aber making said experience. For once because the girl might convince herself into believing the relationship consists solely based on her dick. Look at >>5194719 for example.

I'm sure if you try hard enough you'll eventually get to fuck a transgirl, or even have a relationship. But no matter what, chances are it's not gonna last, because you didn't meet her in the wild.
Enjoy your life long traumas if you're that afraid of spending time alone.
You really need to let it go and stop, she's obviously dealing with too much to even be in a relationship. I don't think it's fair to get into a relationship or be in one if you have too many issues. I think she knows that too and is ignoring you for that reason.

I think you need to try dating someone who isn't a mess right now.
I've already had a trans gf though, we were together for over a year. And had sex many times. I didnt lose interest and leave her, she just went full les to my chagrin. We are still friends, and I have more trans friends.
Imma chill and be there if she wants to be friends or whatever. Thank you
Finally found a guy on grindr that describes themselves as genuine and looking for friends/dates, but my stomach is in knots. No idea how I should strike up the conversation without coming off as awkward as fuck. And I'm worried it'll fizzle and become one sided questioning. I know nothing will ever happen if I don't at least try, but I feel like he's slightly out of my league maybe. He's slim and about 15 pounds ligher than me, while my body's a bit average. Grindr pros; this is a deal breaker y/n?
>because you realized he is shallow chaser scum.

Meanwhile, you're too busy trying to find a way to get that "straight" guy to realize you exist, someday he'll recognize you're a REAL girl.. Right? R-Right?

>How do I date a trans girl without being called a chaser?

It's impossible. Trannies are filled with self-loathing, and if you were to actually like them, then you like something they hate. Therefor, you are a chaser. The only men trannies like are those that are disgusted by them.

Even if you somehow got "in", trannies hang out in groups. Jealousy tends to be rampant, worse than middle school girls. They'll be sure to tell their friend what chaser scum you are and attempt to sabotage their friends' successes, because of how it reflects on themselves.

Best shot is to find a nice normal girl. Trannies are just nut-jobs.
>They'll be sure to tell their friend what chaser scum you are and attempt to sabotage their friends' successes, because of how it reflects on themselves.

plus they're probably a transbian
Should i stay with my GF?
Transbian here.
I dont really know what to do, i really am not attracted to her in any way and i find her personality irritating partially because she is kinda stupid.
She is still very kind and nice, she accepts the fact that i have a significant amount of health and mental problems, although she is starting to get her own set of problems especially with her depression
Ill be honest in lots of ways she takes care of me and its only going to get worse if we move in. my current living situation is not great and she does help and is generous. I dont really have enough to care for myself and Autisim bucks/Disability is not something that is easy or possible for me.
She adores me to no end, basically obsession level so it will be an interesting break if i do but i really do not feel the same about her at all.
30 year old biscum here.

Gone on a couple dates with a dude. I'm closeted. Dude is hot and nice. I'm assuming it's reasonable to think that if he finds out I'm a sadsack closet case at this age, he'll nope the fuck out.

So, it's coming out time, I guess?

I will be sorely irked if I come out and don't get a QT bf out of the deal, though.
It's not that complicated just start talking. When they ask what you're up to, describe something interesting that reflects your personality.

Don't lie, just curate your image a bit because the default setting in online environments is "fuck off". You are interesting, right? Don't be that guy who says nothing about himself because he's a fucking anxious headcase who can't muster up the force of will to have one goddamn interest in their life.

If they're interested, shit will go from there. It's a conversation, you're a human being, you're literally wired for this shit.

Now go do it, fag.
Fuck, so nervous, but I'm going to do it now. Thanks, anon.
Reporting back. I made an attempt with a well thought out observation from his profile that he wrote and received no response. Kinda feeling like garbage now. I wish he'd at least say he's not interested.
Grindr, like pretty much everything else, is a numbers game. Desirable guys, especially new profiles, receive tons of messages a day, and won't respond to most. Don't take getting blown off personally.

Don't get so worked up about success or failure with a given guy, there's too many variables at play. Don't get all brainfucked about "muh husbando" before you've even gotten a response. Or a first date. Or a second date. Gotta keep your bait in the water if you want to catch a fish.

Picture selection is very important, too. You have a headshot up, right? Most guys looking for serious relationships on grindr won't respond to torsos or other random pics. Even if you send a headshot in the first message, it's probably still points off, desu, because it's assumed you're a closet case.
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