I plan to kill myself too. I sometimes dream about an afterlife where I am am a happy girl and where everyone is nice. I know this is stupid, and moreover I am an atheist and sceptic towards metaphysical things. But still I like to dream a little. But after all, I guess that for me non-existence and nothingness are also better than living and surviving.
However I hope that things will be better for you OP and that you will find happiness without killing yourself.
>>5196025 >>5196064 don't do it, statistically you'll be reincarnated in china, where if you got your wish you'd just cycle again until you are a boy, or have pretty much no freedom at all.
>seriously though don't hurt yourself, you are worth more than that, and death is so final, you can't progress and get better if you do that. just set goals for yourself, small at first, it will help you feel better and more in control of your life. and as you succeed in those small goals set bigger ones, until you are where you feel you should be.
if you think that being able to live as the gender you identify with is all that matters in life then you're retarded, lol
and you realize, when you perpetuate the cycle for someone else, it makes your own struggle even more difficult, because not only are you reaffirming your own cynical beliefs, you're also molding someone else to be cynical aswell, and somewhere down the line it'll likely come back and bite you in the ass, lol
>>5196025 Well. It's not like I can disprove there afterlife, but to my knowledge I've never been, and eyewitness accounts make me sceptical. Would advise doing your best with this life before pinning your hopes on another life.
If there's really nothing for it - if there's no way past this pain - good luck.
I'm not saying it will be easy. It will require immense inner fortitude and strength of spirit, but you already have that and you know it.
Please don't give up. And please seek professional help, both for dealing with suicidal thoughts and to start transitioning. If you for some reason can't start transitioning right now, just be patient and find strength in whatever you can. Look to youtube videos of transwomen talking about how they did it and how they got through their struggles, find strength in books, movies, video games, anything.
And then one day you will be old enough, able and empowered to live the life you want to live. You can do it. Please don't let it end like this.
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