Yo Giorgio, gimme a beat
>Then name's Francis and I'm here to preach
>Determining Yahweh's existence? Outta your reach
>Atheism, it's essentially flawed
>You motherfuckers can't know that there's no God
>Have you even read Kierkegaard?
>You faggots can't know that there's no God
>Have you even read Kierkegaard?
>Where you gonna be when the rapture call
>Yo take a leap of faith nigger or I'll bust your skull
>The name's Vlad and I fucked your daughter
>The po-mo bitch screamed out 'this is water!'
>But I invented that shit, ever heard of John Shade?
>Or my tryst with a nymph in a moon-lit glade?
>Like a butterfly's wings I've come to open girl's thighs
>Watch out cunts, don't get hurt by my size
>Cos I'm the meanest biggest impaler you ever heard of
>That's right kids, here comes daddy nabokov
Yo my name is Dawkins, you theist scum.
Your culture is where your beliefs come from.
Take a look around and you will see--
What's not on your side is probability.
So many explanations can't be verified
Especially some faggot son of God who died
And then came back to life to save you.
Christians were originally just radical jews.
That much the historical record can attest,
anything else is just a baseless guess.
I could just as well worship a cup of tea
And still give all my money to charity
And be good not for the sake of my soul,
Fuck your dumb noise, it's all mind control.
The name's Jane
Mr. Darcy on my dick, make him scream my name
You niggers are lying when you say you're well read
Take Bronte out back and hack off her head
Eliot's next with her humongous nose
Rape her first with a rapier, then slice off her toes
As for Mark Twain he can suck my bone
Put that faggot on a boat, ship him to Rome
>Reading? Really? Seriously guys?
>Ford's here faggots don't dry your eyes
>While you're jerking off to Daniel Deronda
>My dick's getting sucked by Henry Fonda
>Formal complexity in one dimension?
>Are you niggers even paying attention?
Let me come and fix philosophy
It'll be as easy as 1, 2, 3
Words, language, they're meaning is use
Yet everyone's addicted to logic like substance abuse
Let me show you my stricture
Language is a picture
Is this a rabbit or a duck?
Here's the secret: who gives a fuck?
Poor point Dawkins, I have to admit
You'll burn in hell, for this shit
I think therefore I'm better than you
Atheists will end up like a Jew
In World War Two
Burning on pew
What can you do?
I'll tell you boo
Just believe in God it's better that way
This atheist shit is hella gay
I know it's not what you wanna hear
Just take Darwin's cock outta your ear
Hey Mister Russell I like what you say
But on further analysis it's all pretty gay
"Scott is the author of Waverly"
That sounds like possibility
Names are the only real necessity
Different worlds, different ways
Your theory's ablaze
>Yo it's the motherfucking martin all up in this bitch
>Y'all niggas look like you been squatting in a ditch
>My prose so sick your stools all loose as hell
>I'm tearing your rhymes down like winterfell
>Your momma loves my pink mast, she's been begging for more
>Call me winter cos I'm coming shouting HODOR HODOR
>Got my boiled leather condom cos she's one nasty hoe
>My cunt became your world YU NO NUFFIN JON SNOW
You bitches think what you know is ideal?
Come to my Academy, I'll give you a deal.
A week of free lessons, if you're cute and willing
To let me in your cave and teach you the filling,
That you think is real, really isn't at all,
And without contemplation, your life is so small.
Old Soccy was a Gadfly and I'm a fucking lion
So quit your sophist shit, because bitch I ain't buying.
Just try and define justice, you thoughts sound like shit
You'd get out-debated by Thrasymachus
The good is the known, evil is what's not
And here's what I know: right now I'm fucking hot
From thought to rap, I sparked every paradigm
Just ask Glaucon, I even know the form of rhyme
(this is the best complement I've ever received on the internet)
Here goes number two.
Midway upon the journey of life, shit for me was looking pretty dire
But when Virgil came along? That dude taught me I could literally spit fire
And so I followed him to the pits of despair,
Circles without hope. Poor souls condemned there!
But no, it seemed the right place for the damned men,
The Lord let their souls exist in their chosen sin,
Enjoying the fruits of their labor eternally,
Lovingly rewarded in and externally,
By Him above, always just
And so continue our path, we must!
And now you try and philosophize?
I've seen hordes of demons, but now I can't believe my eyes
When you try and shake my belief,
Or try and tell me that you've got beef.
You couldn't have even made it past the gate,
And your rhymes are dripping, full of misunderstood hate.
You think you are so hard? Bitch, go to hell.
I did, and came back, after seeing all those who fell.
y'all motherfuckers still tryna overthrow capital
the marxist way? (now listen)
from the slums of moscow they call me prince PK
i come ready to smash the feds' interplay
don't need cops cause boy we got it made
work a couple hours a day give it away it's mutual aid
that's the real way of the prole's dominion
and those the same flows that beat a social darwinian
so boy get ya slingshot 'fore ya get cold feet
'n topple the tyrants--this the conquest of the beat
i'm done y'all
Doing more blow than a snow ho
Is there phallic symb's in my co-co? Bro, no
I'm coming through with cigars too
die Frauen and the chromey German cars too
You ever wonder if it was your dad's fat cock
Rubbin' on your four-year-old smock
That's got you so paranoid
Unemployed, your psyche destroyed
Son you better call for doctor Freud
I got the styles, the methods that make Luddy W. sweat
I riled the ethics and science hit the reset
If some grad student chump starts talking Lacan
Remind that motherfucker who's the real psych-anal LeBron
And that's me
Are there actually people who believe that Atheism is flawed?
Yo, this is Schopenhauer to beat all the cowards
I inspired Nietzsche, you're just a little bitch
the world is my representation, now sit up and pay attention
i'm Arthur i'm smarter
and with my rhymes i will make you a martyr
the world is just will, you make me ill
if you will read my works buy antidepressant pills
you're weak as a noodle, i have a collection of poodles
life is suffering but you only make it worse
you can't compete against my pessimistic verse
fuck Hegel, get on my level
Some more than others. Like this fella.
On the one hand, it's a work written in the apocalyptic style that describes Christianity's persecution by the Roman Empire.
On the other hand, we CAN to a certain degree assume that John the Evangelist had some sort of vision. He may even have had visions of everything he wrote about.
The Bible has multiple layers of meaning. Read Augustine's commentaries on Scripture.
Ok, you're right, I give up, I concede
Let's all kill ourselves: you take the lead
What's wrong? Scared? Don't wanna go first?
Or do you need to keep up your great "pessimistic verse"?
It's ok, I was just like you at thirteen:
Angsty, a virgin, very small peen
The difference is I outgrew all three
Whereas you still thrash about like a lil bay-bee
On Women reads like the ravings of a psychopath
But have you been On a real Woman? I guess not, nah
That helps to explain the clinical depression
Oh, and while im on a roll, before I forget to mention:
You had the will to rap, but that wasn't enough
You'll find without talent, it can be tough
The only thing worse than your rhymes is your hair
Is this verbal bombardment now too much to bear?
Do what you're best at: whine and cry
And don't make me whup your ass another time
Once upon a time and a very good time it was
I had to pandy a bitch's ass harder than Father Dolan could
bitch loved every minute once I pulled out my pen
--Would you please show me the climax of Ulysses again?
So I laid the bitch down like of fresh sheet of paper
And marked that bitch up so much that it looked like I raped her.
When I thought we finished up I asked her if she wants more.
--Yes I said yes yes
Said that filthy whore.
Religion, literature, hell and damnation?
Make way for the King of twisted image implantation.
I write books so fucked you'd think i was a nutjob
But I do this for fun, it's not a real job
I got a radio station playing oldies rock n pop
while i'm writing about zombies and 'Salem's Lot
So go ahead pick up your Cell
or pick up my book's and i'll show you hell
You theists believe there's a god up above?
Under the Dome you believe in his love
but what about down below in that twisted abyss?
Where IT and grey aliens all might exist?
So come on and join me and my heart in a jar,
Take a ride in Christine, my shiny red car
I've know just what you want here in Needful Things,
All I need is your trust, now follow your King
You know I love you cat
But whatcha doing talking about
faith like that
Reason can reach the truth of God
Faith has a place, but your style is flawed
Remember what happened with the Reformation, brother
If you destroy theology, Christians fall one after another
Benedict knew this well, you need Aristo back
Or the whole Church is done for with this sola fide whack
to my understanding, revelations was written in a kind of code language so that the author could communicate with his oppressed group of christians without the romans or w/e realizing what they were up to and thus avoid being BTFO.
MC Fedora in this bitch and I rule
Im about to lay some truth on you fools
what reason is there believe in a god at all?
why even get trapped in this logical pitfall?
everything you see around you exists naturally
to me it seems like god is nothing more than just a fallacy
for what use is there for an all powerful being
when his existence is as consequential as a beesting
what im telling you is that science proves theres no need
for what you once used to explain how this all came to be
laws of physics not yet perfectly understood
allude to the possibility of that every thing could
have come from what you think you mistake for nothing
empty space is straight up wack at tiny scales I aint bluffin
MC pleb, here to rap
The classics are a pile of crap
I like King, Lovecraft, Green and Gaiman
If I'm not reading Y-A I'm pro gamin'
On my PC; Call of Duty
Hate Henry James cause I ain't snooty
These hipsters know it's fucking true
The curtain's are always fucking blue
High school English; earned an fifty two
Majoring in Film; Know what I wanna do
One more thing before I go
One single thing you pseuds gotta know
Before I drop the mic I'll make you cold
You only like those books because they're old
>I assume all theists would. Otherwise, they probably wouldn't be thiests.
Actually, I'm predominantly a theist due to social conditioning, and being terrified witless by the prospect Satan's throbbing member sodomizing me religiously in my eternal damnation. However -- and this is an important part -- I can also "feel" God's warm and gentle caress. It's kinda like being blindfolded then being able to "feel" which red cup the golf ball is under; the atheist will claim that I can't have that knowledge, and I agree with them in that their logic is sound; but atheists don't know about my feels. Apparently, genius neuroscientists can explain my feels with brain chemistry algorithms, and, well, if that's really the case, then I agree with atheists completely, but I guess my neurological makeup will always prevent me from being an atheist.
Kierkergaard is a fideist, and the men in Vatican reject that.
also unofficial the most important figures in catholicism
Aquinas > Jesus > Augustinus > Aristotle > Plato
The head of state > Hegel > Luther > Jesus > Kierkergaard > Plato
>le visage wann mann nicht knows that seuren kjerkegurd was about to convert to traditional catholicism and renounce his edgy existentialism
I have a feeling this is true. Read a few quotes of his disparaging Luther and praising Catholicism. You got any evidence?
I also wish he renounced a lot of his edgier shit. I think he focused far too much on 1. Hegel, 2. the fact that so many Christians were hypocrites and that the Lutheran Church was spiritually stagnation, 3. Literature. If I could only go back and time and give him a copy of St. John of the Cross and say, "here's some real Christian psychology, now you can learn from somebody better than yourself and get rid of your intellectual pride".
Search "luther kierkegaard perennis" in google and click top link (can't post it, 4chan thinks it's spam), for good quotes.
Kierkegaard was a genius but I think his intellect got in his way to an extent.
THIS IS A POLITICS THREAD. REMAIN CALM, AUTISTS; NO ON IS HAVING ANY FUN.
Because an infinitely long causal chain seems unfathomable, the first event must have occurred as a result of the action of an agent capable of having "reasons" for acting; that is a free agent; that is one with a free will. Free is defined as independent of the causal chain.
We derive this notion from our own feeling that we are free agents. However it is likely that we are not acting independently of the causal chain set in motion by the first actor.
Even if we are not strictly free, there is no saying that the first actor was not itself free.
This thread shows how a literary mind without an earnest, all-encompassing knowledge and respect for culture and aesthetics in all its manifestations to fuel its ambitions is absolutely worthless
Look at these squares.
They know the authors, they know their ideas but when it comes to adding their own style to it, in this case humor and to a lesser degree structure, they're stuck on this SNL tier "clash of cultures" garbage. None of you have ever made anyone laugh irl, let alone through your prose. It's actually surreal to me that some of you guys want to be writers and you still don't see yourself as above doing this shit you're doing right now
That's why so many of the greatest writers were such lowbrow cunts, who loved prostitutes and the artistic equivalent of garbage. You need to first be genuinely bored with the modern world and its culture before you have anything new to add. Not be a mere spectator to it, believing that dangerously mingling your high culture with the way of the plebs, which you know only through mass communication, will somehow be amusing. You'll never get published.
>Let me tell you something about the world, son, brutality is everywhere, the battle can't be won, you'd best try to take it like a grown ass man, not like that bitch Georg Bendemann; smarter than Lovecraft, sexier than Poe, my surreal themes only leave you wanting mo. Ashkenazi assassin, better watch how you actin, show you what you missin' with pages of line stacking, firing off commas til it all becomes a blur, spit lyrical maggots til you need a country doctor, invading your brain, transforming you into vermin, till your belly swells up like Thurmen Murmen's, here's mud in your eye, spit straight blood til I die, Kafka's the smartest, you just a hunger artist. You bitches probably need a break from my prose, I'll be chillin' with Josephine and the mouse hoes, yo Brod, just make sure you burn all this shit when I go.
Why can't we do both?
Besides this post is unaesthetic and worthless. Who's your agent?
>Look at these squares
Is that a learned allusion to Antony & Cleopatra? I must have missed the genius.
>None of you have ever made anyone laugh irl, let alone through prose.
It should be a sin to try to relate anyone here to a person irl. It's just projection. We're all /lit/izens. We're all losers. I don't think anyone in this thread thought what they wrote was genuinely good. You can be nuanced like that.
I don't understand how you could ever think you're smart if you took Socrates' words to heart.
Love it. The rhyme scheme and feel is cool.
Oh my god, Schopenhauer died again. Awesome.
Excellent. I agree with >>5168275 , but feel more like "7.5/10"
rhyme job with job. I quit.
Bitches look dumb and it's really a pity,
fortune treat you bad? It's you acting shitty.
Throw up the fucking M and give me a rhythm,
I interpret ages, the sage's sweet venom,
Machiavelli, it's what they call me,
armed fucking prophet in front of an army,
Got a population? I can give you a people,
just change God's definition and keep the steeple.
There is no epitaph greater than my name,
so soaringly, clearly did I see the game,
and now you, lame, think that you can tame me?
I'll beat you like fortune, my woman, and call up Medici
"Yo Lorenzo", "Sup Ludavic?",
"we'll forever show the world who had the biggest dick"
Remember when the plebs retook the state
from the decemvirate, so much did they hate,
Appius Claudius' arbitrary abuse
of civic authority to get Virginia loose.
That's what I see when I look at you,
trying to run the church from the pew,
your lousy behavior and poor self-conduct,
restrict you from service to self and state's construct,
so now I'll ask you to be quiet and leave,
lest I bend you over and find a new sheathe.
>This thread shows how a literary mind without an earnest, all-encompassing knowledge and respect for culture and aesthetics in all its manifestations to fuel its ambitions is absolutely worthless
>implying you have a literary mind with an earnest, all-encompassing knowledge and respect for culture and aesthetics in all its manifestations
You're an idiot. I'm sure you tell people thatDFW and Dostoevsky are your favorite writers.
IN WEST PHILADEPHIA BORN AND RAISED
ON THE PLAYGROUND IS WERE I SPENT MOST OF MY DAYS
>It's actually surreal
>You need to first be genuinely bored with the modern world
> believing that dangerously mingling your high culture with the way of the plebs
>You'll never get published.
Control your autism, cunt.
>I'll slap a King in the mouth if he's being a brat
>Call yo momma Mrs Manderly cos she so damn fat
>She's a hound, a dog, face more fucked up than Clegane
>I got a bucket full of dragons and I’m gonna make it rain
>My dick spits venom like the Red Viper of Dorne
>Holla HBO we need more tits in my murder porn
>So much dolla for this crap I'm heading straight to hell
>I spent it all on pancakes like I'm Margeary Tyrell
>Shiieet I swear by the old gods and the new
>My gangsta heart gonna pop before ASOIAF is through
>Shit son this aint hell, where the fuck am I?
Where all whores go, and fiction legends come to die
>T-Tolkien? Is that you, you withered old arse?
Until your work on earth is finished, you shall not pass!
:GRRRR Martin wakes up covered in sweat and pancakes:
Bitch, yeah, oh here we go...spin it
Yo, I ain't no real mathematician
All I wanted was a little submission
From Greek little boys
Treatin' them like toys
Is it so hard to ask for dick in my loins?
I disrespect my old mentor S
Nigga didn't even give a real test
Plato is shootin dice with the living
Bitch I'm jealous so i better start spinnin
of all the earth
bitch it ain't round its flatter than your chest
don't fuck with the best
I'm A to the R to of fuck it make it up like I did
I'm a hack and a philosophical troll
I've got not real roll
But forever you'll pay the toll
of listening to greek wannabe boipussies say im great
lol gr8 b8 m8
I'm on a mission, see,
and you a stepping stone, nothing more to me,
more to me, more to me!
Power is the flower I was born to be,
in possession of, controllin the procession of ages,
startling sages as I go,
screaming on my horse I'm unstoppable,
the great, the Great?
I'm the greater, motherfucker, and I'll never fall
>I'm am a barbaric idiot who only knows how to kill things
>I don't understand what a government is
>When I die I will be praised by the Romans because I killed a lot of people on a conquest
>It was never really an empire
>I didn't do anything but kill people who could barely defend themselves
>modern day people will see me as a complete idiot and not Great at all
Oh no bitch, it's Jimmy J
Straight outta motherfuckin Dublin Bay
Here reppin Paris and Trieste and Zurich
Scorched earth shit, my flow's sulfuric
Introibo ad altare dei
Approach my altar of fuckin crazy
I'm mad bitch, call the Finnegans 'wake
There'll be wailing and tears when we pound your fuckin face
Wanna fight me bitch I'm dublin down
You wanna talk shit? I wear the fuckin crown
I fuck in evening gowns
and like a fuckin hound
sniff the Brown
yeah that's a proper noun
it's like the bathroom is my fuckin breeding ground
Yo fatty gramps, what did you say?
Is it true you that you write 5 words a day?
Perhaps you were hot shit in '83
But now you ain't got shit on lads like me
Cos I'm young and I'm fit and I'm dressed real swell
Got my ax and no brakes and a story to tell
And the balls to finish my shit as well
While you jack off to lolis and incest and crap
I move fantasy forward and show where it's at
Fuck the pretty boys, dragons and zombies, that's gay
Fuck romance and lost princes, that shit's for YA
My main characters uglier than your mom with no make up -
All cos life is not fair, nigga, leave it or take it
Telling it like it is, nigga, no, I don't hate,
But you're just as relevant as nipples on a breast-plate
Enjoy seeing your shit shat on by D&D
Brb, say one thing for me, I wanna pee.
This thread is so fucking cringeworthy. There's nothing worse than a circlejerk formed by un-self-aware dorks who think that they're being clever. It's the kind of shit I expect to see on reddit.
>the likes that Alexander was Great and not just a bully killing people in villages across a desert
>the likes that he wasn't anything other than a glorified warlord
You talk like a fag and your shit's all retarded,
probly just mad cuz you still get carded,
want to stand up and talk to the men?
then try using logic and not ad hominem.
O TEMPORA O MORES! DIXI
I'm the man with the plan and my friends call me "chickpea"
I used to fool around with Arpinum broads
But now I've got Terentia and I'm living large
Like her dowry,
but that's not all so open up your AVRIS
POETAE NOVI churn out verse that's lousy
Hortensius flopped because his speech was flow'ry
And I can see an easy target--you're sniveling and cowardly
MOS MAIORVM are important to real men
And that's how I distinguish between foes and friends
My buddy Atticus has got my back
And helps me sway the pediarii when things get wack
Once in a while I'll send him a letter or two
And in the OTIVM I catch wreck with my crew
PATRES CONSCRIPTI the man before you is shifty
He'll sell you out for but a couple ASSIS
So get out of my face with your Catilinarian flow
They say all roads lead to Rome, but you should take the road home.
(did you record that one Tiro?)
Det er fucking Isak Dinesen
Smoke blunts, how 'bout a hunt?
I'll be skinning live lions while your dad's in my cunt
Worthless. Spitting out gazelle semen while Lou Lou's spitting verses
Churches; My economy's based on poisonwood hearses
Bury you, like malnourished niggers
Be your grave digger, grab you a bigger
Cock, Babbete's feast
A yeast infection every day for the past year at least
Since Orson Welle's came over, in just chain mail
You trail, me. An anecdote of destiny
Jail me. For brevity, rhymes are my weaponry
Made anorexia cool
To reach me you need a step stool
What's wrong? Dyslexic?
My beat's electric
Your's infected, Malaria,
You're not even in my broadcast area
Jeg er ude nigga
Louis F. in the house reppin' Courbevoie
Only doctor in France that can't afford a car
My prose is erratic and bitter and vicious
But I bet you know it from all the ellipsis...
Insomnia again, this will be an all-nighter
When pop's stepped to me I hit him with a typewriter
My country turned on me, they want me for treason
And I can assure you, it's for no good reason
Why would I tell the Germans bout' the Maginot Line?
If they're standing on the border they can see it just fine
I eat less and less and I swear I think better
But it's winter, I'm freezing, I don't have a sweater
I like American girls and their naive optimism
I thought of them often those long months in prison
Yeah, eighteen months in the Vestre Faengsel
And I'm not gonna try to rhyme Vestre Faengsel
I critique and expose the human condition
And do please forgive me, I think somethings missin'
A bit anti-Semite, it's exaggerated
But discuss the Jews, you're eternally hated
Wow, do you gentlemen even know how rap? Allow me.
nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga fuck yeah nigga nigga sweet ass pussy my nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga runnin from da police nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga first of the month nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga don't be a niggard nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga nigga african-american vernicular y'all nigga nigga nigga internalization of my father issues nigga
>Roman Catholic Dogma
>Not a Fatass Hillbilly Protestant superstition
"Y'all can't know muh lottery ticket's not a winner, so don't y'all tell me how to spend muh Food Stamps!"
/lit/ has a lot of funny and clever people, but these traits manifest themselves better in serious threads where they have to bring in humor, often for rhetorical purposes.
Your shitty thread even breaks the symmetry of the board in terms of the subtlety of the humor. I'm pretty sure at least half of the posts in this thread were the same person, so stop trying to impart the idea that this (probably yours) dumb idea was popular and successful here.
>Is that a learned allusion to Antony & Cleopatra? I must have missed the genius.
Oh my god dude you can't be a real person. Just stop, will you? I know you're trying - and it's showing - but stop
Honestly the creative effort put into this thread, however laughale, still put it way above most thread on /lit. The serious threads you describe are a small minority. The issue of samefagging is also irrelevant here.
Surprised to see me, Professor Dawkins?
Me and Plantinga just been talkin
It seems as though when you began to exist
The doc told the hospital: "cease and desist"
"This woman right here has just given birth"
"To the worst philosopher to ever walk the earth"
If you disagree then we can talk it out
Oh, that's right, I highly doubt
That you've got the balls to see me face to face
Bertrand called, he said you're a disgrace
There's a reason that for the past several hundred years
You have few true naturalists to call your peers
Though I can hardly blame you for not wanting to debate
I beat Hitchens so bad that he's now 'the late'
His brother still hangs around your island though
So you better watch your step, lest you come to know
That everything that begins to exist has a cause
And your reasoning has a few fundamental flaws
Only autists complain about these kind of threads. I bet that fucking butterflyfag and evolakid sperglord are the only ones complaining. So go fuck yourselves. It seems you can't get a good laugh.
If I can't dance it ain't my revolution
Fuck the US Constitution
They don't fight for the working class
Instead they give us tear gas
Fuck Ben Tucker
Gonna kill that fuck
We both read Stirner
But from Marx he's no learner
I fought for the rights of women
Unlike Vlad Lenin
Wow /lit/ should write for Epic Rap Battles of History because this stuff is hilarious!
Bitch I'm Murakami,
your shawtys' suck on my pastrami
and you fuckers know I get tons of sex -
like kid Kafka I'll even fuck the ghost of my mommy.
Do y'all even know about the pussy I get?
Got more cats in my novels than the hat wearing fagget
And I'm diving into tonsa' cunt juice
Get bitches wetter than old wells, you can bet.
Not to mention all the girlies I'm flouncing
Young girls flock to me like niggas in public housing
Salavating on my fuckin' massive rod
Got more meaty Dong than Mao, Zing
But it's okay if you don't know squat
Urban ennui fucks with all of Earth's lot
And y'all niggas are definitely sufferin' somethin' feirce
Cause you ain't me and so it's nothin' you got.
>reading at home, but want to be reading in public
>too lazy to move
>decide to take a picture of myself reading and upload it to my favorite literary community, /lit/
>get called a fag and pleb in saged comments
>go to my homepage
>uploads picture of self to /lit/
>gets feelings hurt by inevitable insults
>returns to homepage like a bitch
You got what you deserved.
So I heard some niggas here wanna get wrecked
and I'm here to fucking laugh at you like topkek.
See, my name is Sylvie Plath
and everyone should know to stay away
from my fuckin' wrath like "oh man, no way!"
You can bet suicide's on my mind all the time
but you should pay for my thoughts with more than a dime
and take your useless fucking lives, ignorant swine.
If you think I'm crazy now it's time to get learned
even shock therapy couldn't fix my wonky turn
of thoughts and feels and all that sadboy shit
But I think it's about time you try it a bit -
electrocute yourselves and learn to respect
a bitch who killed herself while in the house her children slept.
Think you can fuck with a hardass like that?
No way fuckin' bitch, you're aboutta get wacked.
>reads on bar terace next to sidewalk
>"The End of Eternity" by Asimov
>all of a sudden, girl flicks the book as she is walking by
>"I like that book a lot!"
>spaghetti is pasta-la-vista
>Thankfully she was already moving away
Man I'm not usually like that, I just didn't expect to be talked when reading nerdy sci-fi.
I had a kind of similar thing happen
>See a cute, tatted up, pixie-cut chick in a local Starbucks. A bit angry looking.
>She's reading Kafka's Amerika - the really nice edition with the eye motif on all the covers
>Want to show he that I was carrying The Trial from the same collection
>Catch her eye for a sec
>Too nervous to say anything, she's glaring a bit
>Turn away like the beta I am.
I'm so appalled,
Ty Lannister stealin' stags from y'all
Sansa gettin' fired
and if you don't mind
I'mma make you my thrall
You Beyond The Wall
we don't give a fuck bout y'all
like that Dog that'll squeeze
fuckin' straight through a skull
Insist y'all slavers lose y'all labor
and if you don't drop 'em then
dragon siege later
I mean God damn, one time
let it be the Old Crone peeking
that know we get hoes like Tyrion
that know we burn pussy like Targaryen
that know, the day that you play me
will be the same day that you fly from the Eyrie
That was but a jest, Hodor
Praise is due to the most high, R'hllor
Praise is due to the deeds of m'lord
Don't touch the daughters of Crast- or...
Dosh Khaleen in the wagon,
high as a dragon,
thirty-thousand feet up,
your titties still be saggin'
Nobles be writin' bullshit like "He usurp"
Peasant's goin' through real shit, man they outta work
If they play Rains of Castamere again, man they gonna hurt
Watch out for that nigga Varys, man he gonna chirp.
Ale-drunk wenches, Wights in the trenches
Necromancer maesters and their sinister hunches
Gregor clegane and his gauntlet skull-crunches...
Yo F.A. Hayek back in the crib
An' you aint need reminding dat Keynes a shit
Austrian economics no better exists
My street-creds' bigger than Salmas' tits
Communism fails, Marx go see a barber
My rhymes flow so goods-like Spontaneuos order
Its a Fatal Conceit to come here and get some
Bitch, i'll sent ya down the Road to Serve-dom
Whats up hoes it's Emily B
two shots in my gun two dots on my E
got my crew, we riding from the east
like the moors in winter we make you freeze -
Currer Ellis Acton, you heard your death Bells
cus you better know it that we raising hell!
and if i catch you slipping i beat you, dog,
punch out your eyes, that's the fucking prolog,
as I make my way up to wuthering heights
fucking your momma that's mothering right
leave you in the dark i cover your light
see that i'm the queen, you covet this mic,
Pussy smokes drink, it's all I need.
Your man Chuck is here and it's on liquor I feed.
I treat the world like a horse race,
round the track we go,
and bitch you're about to get stepped on,
tryna take me toe to toe.
Want to outdrink me? Shit is impossible
Got so much whiskey in my gullet that my fists are unstoppable.
And don't you even try to get smart with me -
It's not just the streets I know, it's also classical G's:
Ludwig Von B, Wagner, and Vivaldi
I'll play their music so loud your bitch'll slobber on my tall D.
Got poetry and short tales, novels and plays
Smoke weed with my paper and you'll be high for days.
But that's only if I let you SoCal niggas near me
And knowing all that I know, that won't be easy.
My daddy beat me lots of times, married my mom in Deutschland
So don't try to jew me out cause I'll go Hitler in a grandstand.
Even Modest Mouse knows I'm outta control -
Got a song named after me cause I'm an asshole.
But now you fuckers know to run away from me:
the eternal drunk,
the man of constant liquor funk,
Charles Mother Fucking Bu-Kow-Ski.
now all these racha or against ya
bet a million dore, back through that maze i sent ya,
pure MDMA, puap inventor,
crystals ... game tight, bic that flame right
been thizzing he right, B-I, double-G, I-E
Rest in peach tos out, me and Ceasar Leo
Throw up the T, some chick he know
Do the Thizzle but the cheddar, nobody do it better
I'm grinding on Cali, strictly for the weather
While I'm grinding the weed - sticky green
Don't give a fly please, Poppa ain't soft
So right now you Hood, ain't no love lost,
I'm blown, I'm z'd up, you drunk them licks up,
can't believe that my dick sucked
off a half gram forfeit, the game is mine,
And I don't even know name, one more time, check it
Hold up there you bitches
Prepare you some stitches
Ray Comfort is here to burn some witches
Straight outta Kiwi, I brought a banana
And believe I'll demolish yo' souls like a hamma
'Cause with the faith o' the L and the love of the J
I'll expand your hearts in a remarkable way
My mustache I'm rocking, it moves when I'm talking
Just like my legs when God lets me some walking
I'm talking the W-A-Y of the L-O-R-D
Eat your banana like a man and not a chimpanzee
My name is Raymond Carver and I think you all are wack
Don't even understand the sadness of a common heart attack,
Can't grasp the concept of my reality that is dirty
Just like all your mothers before the age of 30.
Everyday life is full of triumphs and tragedies
But you niggas only know the latter, dealing with your shitty genes
So for now I'd totally get it if you offed yourself tonight
And I won't be sad for you while I'm fucking some whores left and right.
Gee-double-R-R-Martin back in the hooooouse
>Knaves I'm back, from my long hiatus
>So all you niggas better not be haters
>I've done away, with the trilogy
>Now you getting a series -- I don't do this shit for free!
>Girls be like, Gee you ain't nice
>Killing off your protags harder than Anne Rice
>Girls are pretty, girls are nice
>But bitches can't stand my fucking fire and ice
>Haters hate, they call me fat
>Fuck all you nigga's cause I ain't down with that
>Yeah I ate a horse, two goats and a Perch
>Like I told my editor...
THAT WAS RESEARCH