So /lit/ I've been in love for about 2 years and I just can't get her out of my head.
Now I'm a very logical person and seeing love being overused in all forms of art, I wonder is there is a spiritual element on romantic love or is just biological functions.
Is there a book that analyzes those two possibilities?
>Love stinks and you die alone, all you can do is reduce the suffering of those around you while you are here.
But that's not true
what is done cannot be undone, so net suffering only increases, as described in the 2nd law of thermodynamics
I know but I'm currently in a moment when starting anything here is not the best idea.
I know love is a more complex thing but I'm trying to determinate if there is some spiritual or mystical factor to this or is just a strong crush, standard a dime a dozen feeling.
I'm as much of a science person but I just wonder why even though I have ignored her and did a very conscious effort to forget her. I just look at other girls and feel nothing, sure I could fuck them or whatever but I just don't care.
I think there is a spiritual element, but women don't feel it.
>she will never dance around your kitchen to the sugarcubes wearing your t-shirt and make you slightly burnt scrambled eggs again
I think you are being autistic, women are just as human as you or me. Maybe they can be a little manipulative and the whole hormone thing doesn't help either.
What I did got out of this two years of feels is a deep understanding of love, I think love has to come from you to the world, love is not loving the other person because they do nice things to you or they are pretty. You love the other despite of them, sure its great if they treat you nice but any kind of love it like that.
I did my best to find all the flaws in her but even if in the end she doesn't like me for some weird reason I want her to be happy and that she doesn't feel bad.
Is my interpretation of love right? At least I feel I got something out of this.
I'm literally fighting it every day and it doesn't die
I do love her
And she used to love me, but now she doesn't. I'm nothing to her, worse than trash.
But I do still love her, you are right about that.
But you did something wrong? It's probably awful if there is no going back. My best possible advice is ignore it the feeling its going to be there maybe for years or forever but if you can't do nothing walk with it.
All I did wrong was expose my own weaknesses.
Though it's given me an incentive to right my course, the fact that I'll likely never see her again, yet will always love her is a hard cross to bear.
There are obviously magick love particles that transfer between people. If you feel them, then obviously God's plan means you are to be together. I'm a priest, I get this question all the time.
Thats why I said semi.
In one way or another everyone has to carry shit around. I guess you could use that love for her and share it with people, like spare change, make people feel good of course as long as you get happy for that or you could just store it.
I hope you feel better in a few years anon.
As I see it this could go either way, chemistry or some mystical stuff. I can't prove neither of them and of course the true origin will determine its importance. I'm quite sure biology plays an important role but I just want to know the other part.
Oh and please put some books so our overlords that watch us touch ourselves don't get mad
Well, if I were after insight into the concept of spirituality in love per se, I would give the book a second read and attempt a rigorous analysis of character motive. Though that
theme is part of the novel's framework and explored quite explicitly, I think my attention during my first read was devoted too closely to outcomes and the idea of bazarov's particular
brand of nihilism and Russian politics and so on. Seeing the thread topic brought it to mind, because it's one of the book's focuses, but I don't think I can really tell you my thoughts
on what T had to say about love and spirituality. I doubt I even came close to understanding that aspect of it. Thinking back, that part probably consisted far deeper in the subtext than
any other major motif in the book. Thinking inward, there's probably hardly anything at all that can be said on the topic straightforwardly. Spirituality's too elusive and abstract to be
portrayed on the surface. So, you know, the idea was at the back of my mind yet I came out regarding it as part of the main focus. Read closely I bet the book reveals a rich supply of shit
you couldn't think of with a reductive science-informed conception of love.
Beware of conceptualizing this love of yours. It's easier to always be in love with an idea than it is a person. I find that when my mind becomes ensnared by one sided longing, it helps to be vigilant in efforts at keeping the much missed miss from becoming as an idol.
Art can console.That's all there is to art, i guess.Solving love problems is not in its nature.It's up to you,OP. Philosophy can interpret love and the world but the point is to change it.
Be a man of action. Go slow. Get a haircut and a hobby. Save up money. Buy more books. Read more. Learn more. Edify yourself and be a man of action. It takes a lot of time to get over someone. Take as much as you want. Just don't hurt others while doing it and smile at them occasionally.
I recommend this
/End pathetic confused rant.
Get a therapist.
There is no eternal love, and thinking of someone who doesn't loves you back is senseless and it's usually given by an underlying cause that doesn't allow you to move on.
>I'm a very logical person
It doesn't seem to be the case
My concept of her is pretty awful, in fact I see she is not the most beautiful girl but a solid 8, she seems a little crazy and we have nothing in common. I doubt that she will be the kind of girl that will listening to my feelings or even do the weird sexual stuff I like.
Not knowing it's what kills me because I could be fucking up, but if she says yes my brain is telling "no, run she is not the best option" and my "heart" or whatever draws me to her.,
you don't need to go full 'everything is atoms & empty space'-core, but i was 'in love' for a full year a while back, and when i reflect on it, it really does seem like i was mentally ill at the time. All of what I thought I liked about the other person was just an inverted projection of the empty space within myself.
You'll get over it -- exercise, do activities, meet other people and talk to them about your life. You'll find everyone is trying to fill a hole inside themselves with stuff, and if you're lucky, you'll learn to accept the hole, and to use your self-knowledge to your advantage.
But yeah, also read stoner.
to add to this, i'm in a much more healthy relationship now, the success of which is a direct result of my earlier 'experiments' with more unhealthy varieties of love.
The appreciation of the actual thing, while less overwhelming, is much more subtle and varied. Books about love often lie, and most music lies.
I'm reminded of a line from high fidelity: 'People worry about kids playing with guns, or watching violent videos, that some sort of culture of violence will take them over. Nobody worries about kids listening to thousands, literally thousands of songs about heartbreak, rejection, pain, misery and loss.'
>All of what I thought I liked about the other person was just an inverted projection of the empty space within myself
Thats the thing I keep finding reason not to like her but the feeling is not going away. This like the third time I try to ignore it and keep coming back.
and i also unironically believe that YA novels and the internet are societal manifestations of a larger evolutionary impulse/mechanism that's trying to keep our population in relative homeostatis by lowering the birthrate.
if obsessive projection is the main source of emotional/interpersonal stimulus in your life, anon, you really do need to join some clubs and hang out with other people. Stop reading books or consuming media, and go out and just experience actual stuff. cultivate a more subtle appreciation of what's around you. 'life-shattering love that binds you with another person for the rest of your life' is a lie.
desu, nature poetry night help. some eastern philosophy stuff as well.
I can't fall in love anymore really. I've lost the faculty completely after being hurt so many times that I really don't see women romantically at all anymore. Sexually sure, but that's a fleeting carnal desire that perishes after a quick fap.
I really don't care about that shit anymore, and I no longer understand why people do.
Let me see if I get you, I'm just projecting my disgust in my actions and my self love on the figure of her. Just as I don't like many things about me but I still love myself and of course I'm soul bonded to myself?
Yes I'm moving out of the country because of my current emotional environment is far from ideal, they are nice people but I need other things now.
It's a propensity of you to find meaning in being in another which you feel her presence is the most convenient way as you have incorporated her into your own whenever you have had the freedom to choose new meaning after ridding of others. I'm not entirely sure if another's continual and mutual presence for you and you for her constitutes activity from your psyche to that end as well after considerable time.
That the thing I never felt alone for that long or feel like I need someone to complete me, I'm still against that idea but for some reason not having her hurts. I had a couple of crush before but this feels different or at least stronger and as with drugs It will take a stronger feel to kick this one out.
But I'm afraid that stronger than this is too strong
Love is just chemicals from your brain when it thinks it found a mate. Your DNAs sole purpose of you to live is to endure via reproduction.
Don't use slippery slope as an argument. If you do then I can too and where does it end?
Its just another distraction against the existential void caused by conscious thought, it's simply too strong for most people to ignore since even the most primitive organisms are programmed to procreate. So they assert some higher meaning to it. Only you can create purpose or meaning so it doesn't matter.
If I say alcoholism feels mystical, otherwordly, deeply moving and transcendental, then it is so. If you argue against it, I can say you're either too cynical or haven't felt this abstract 'true alcoholism'. People tend to talk a lot more about love than addiction, even though they are interchangeable.
This guy gets it.
>Its just another distraction against the existential void
We are programmed for meaning in all that we do, as soon as we finish one project through its completion/discardment that serves as the basis for looking for something new to do/find meaning in. There is no "void". Rather an emptiness that has direction in it of which you can determine, though it maybe subject to contingency.
>I'm literally fighting it every day and it doesn't die
This is how I felt about my anxieties before I started practising buddhism, from craving springs grief, stop replaying these possibilities through your head and do if you truly want to but, honestly, you're better off on your own. Nothing is as good as it is in your mind and women raised in a modern 1s world culture will never live up to your expectations and love.
> Ha ha look at me i'm so edgy
Pain is also a chemical reaction, but you still feel it. Everything you do everyday is because of chemical reactions. You eat because a chemical reaction in your brain tells you to eat. Death is nothing more than a chemical reaction, nothing happens after it, but yet you fear it.
Sometimes, you need to ignore these things. You need to pretend the fake is real.
>Love does not exist--it is the result of chemical processes.
Your very reasoning and dismissal of love is reliant on those same chemical processes.
How can you not see the hypocrisy of your position?
In one hour I'm going to go to the house of a sweet girl with whom I've been affectionate. She's socially awkward and was violently raped three years ago. I am going to attempt to hatefuck her, because I have proven myself incapable of loving sex so far.
I wish there was another way that presented itself.
>a bunch of wounded anon trying to deconstruct love down to mere chemical reactions so they can salve their wounds better
figures. you claim to be /lit/ but when the topic of love comes up you turn into /r9k/.
>when the topic of love comes up you turn into /r9k/.
It's 2015, 'love' is dead, in the 1st world anyway, anyone still latching onto it because of some bullshit 'better to have loved and lost than never loved at all' bullshit is just trying to get hurt.
You can still fuck women but you shouldn't expect anything spiritually fulfilling to come out of it, anything else is just deluding yourself.
>look at me making assumptions because I couldn't possibly comprehend another viewpoint
Keep on loving your busted hoes mane and making threads on /lit/ when she inevitably leaves you to jump on another dick. I'm sure it'll make you happy.
>>look at me making assumptions
I was only responding to the assumptions that you were making. And you were making a whole lot of them.
You continued to make assumptions in that very post. But I wouldn't expect someone so emotional so see when they are blatantly indicting themselves.
>spiritual element on romantic love
Phaedrus - Plato
Plato, in his dialogue Phaedrus (sections 246a–254e), uses the Chariot Allegory to explain his view of the human soul. He does this in the dialogue through the character of Socrates, who uses it in a discussion of the merit of Love as "divine madness".
Plato paints the picture of a Charioteer (Greek: ἡνίοχος) driving a chariot pulled by two winged horses:
The Charioteer directs the entire chariot/soul, trying to stop the horses from going different ways, and to proceed towards enlightenment.
I feel like music sounds better with you
Love might bring us back together
I should add this this recommendation is serious and attempts to bridge the gap between the biological and spiritual interpretation.
This thread looks like mostly trolls so this will probably be ignored
That they aren't antithetical. I can answer more specific questions.
1. Sexual Sophistication versus Sexual Maturity
2. Sex and Love
3. Love and Sex
4. Death, Sex, and Individuality
6. The Lesbian Personality
7. Latent Homosexuality
9. Male and Female Sexuality
10. Sensuality versus Sexuality
11. The Sexual Orgasm
12. Orgastic Impotence in the Male
13. Orgastic Impotence in the Female 14. The Double Standard
15. The Sexual Roles of the Female
16. The Sexual Roles of the Male
17. The Truth of the Body
not even once.
materialism still prevails, but revisiting the value of love with a materialist view means it is nothing special beyond its chemical reaction.
And darwinism still applies there.