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2015-11-07 21:02:17 Post No. 7332064
Post No. 7332064
This is the opening line of my nearly complete novel and I'm not sure what is the best way to word it:
>At twenty one/When I was twenty one
>I was on the verge of/I felt like/I was close to/
>killing my dad/murdering my dad
>and I mean that quite literally/and I don't mean that lightly/and that's no exaggeration.
I'm sure you can come up with other variants, but what do you prefer and WHY? Can you share your stories of meticulously deconstructing a sentence and any rules which would help me with this? I know for example there were around 40 different final sentences for A Farewell to Arms. As this is the first line it needs to introduce conflict and be shocking but realistic and I am not a fan of overly complicated prose.