>"Did you know I'm half jewish?"
Pony boops edition
Episode 525: The Cutie Re-Mark Pt. 1
Episode 526: The Cutie Re-Mark Pt. 2
Written by Josh Haber
I want to ________ Rainbow Dash.
STOP SHILLING FALLOUT 4 FOR FUCK'S SAKE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH
YUK YUK ITS JUST LIKE THE FALLOUT VIDEO GAME I PLAY!
>sees representation of war
YUL YUK ITS JUST LIKE THE METAL GEAR VIDEO GAME I PLAY!
Holy fuck autists pls go, next theyll show celestias castle and everyone will be like ITS CLASH OF CLANS GUYS ITS CLASH OF CLANS!
Then some new pony in s6 will happen to be wearing a mask and everyone'll be like ITS DISHONORED 2 GUYS ITS DISHONORED 2!!!
>Lightning Dust (Redemption pending)
>Suri Polomare(Redemption pending)
How would you guys feel if they made a mane 6 of reformed antagonists?
SERIOUSLY!! i dont fucking know if this is a cow or a pony or a hybrid of both.
>You are Silver Shine.
>You were a local police officer when the war of the Great Sisters happened.
>Following the chaos of the defeat of Celestia, you had tried to maintain order among the citizens.
>But to no avail, Princess Luna...
>Nightmare Moon, took complete control of Equestria and plunged the world into eternal darkness.
>After a few months of her rule, Nightmare Moon's power craze had dimmed down to a sustainable level.
>She even saw how her subjects were suffering without sunlight, and now she allows a small, weaker sun, to shine for a short period each day.
>A miracle, even if it only got as bright as twilight.
>A few years have passed and the ponies were... accommodating to Moon's new rule.
>Equestria now farms nocturnal plants such as mushrooms and Dragon Fruit.
>Ponies now came out more during the night and slept during the day.
>Everything seemed stable.
>And that's when you came in.
>After what seemed like a minor assassination attempt from inside her castle, the royal guards were recruiting anypony with former law enforcement or military history.
>...You admit, being a mushroom farmer was not really your fancy.
>Nor did it pay well, so you signed up immediately.
>No brutal training was required, all you needed to know was how to fight with a spear and in a suit of armor.
>You picked up pretty quick, and soon you completed training.
>You had high hopes that you would be one of the roaming guard patrols, a sentry, or even right beside the queen herself!
>Yes, she prefers the name "Queen Nightmare Moon".
>But your hopes were soon diminished...
>You were posted right outside her bedroom chamber.
>On night shift, which was pointless since the queen stays in her throne room all night anyway!
>The only time you even see her is when she is returning to her chambers as the day starts, asking if anything suspicious happened.
>To which you always answered "No, your highness."
>Since absolutely -nothing- happens all night.
>Countless times you asked, even begged your commanding officer to switch your position.
>He always denied it.
>"No one else wants your place, plus you're getting paid, right?"
>Was always his excuse, and it drove you mad.
>And if you didn't mention before, you're an earth pony.
>Maybe that's why you...
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What do you think? Is it like a back to the future kind of thing where its one timeline and the rest get obliterated? Or is it like in Ocarina of Time sort of thing that each change creates its own separate line that stands on its own?
Mind you, this is a multiverse series where there is a ponyerse and a humanverse and others if you accept the comics as canon.
It would be depressing if they were. That would mean AJ went back to canning apples with the false hope Twilight would fix everything, or Zecora and her freedom fighters were killed/enslaved to allow Twi to escape.
>Aww, did you forget your sleeping bag, Anon? That's okay, you can share with me! There's plenty of room for both of us...
Meanwhile in anons head as he sleeps next to her
>Don't pop a boner
>Don't pop a boner
>Don't pop a boner
>Don't pop a
This is the future in which Trixie destroys Equestria with the Alicorn Amulet
She is not real daily reminder.
Nightmare Moon did nothing wrong
Be honest, anon... Did you take my pipe revolver rifle?
Old thread: >>25533332
Congratulations! Your new My Little Pony© is sure to bring you years of joy!
Please, carefully read the instructions before opening the patented Cryo-Box containing your pony.
-Allow at least one hour of uninterrupted time in a secluded, quiet area free from distractions. Your My Little Pony© is designed to begin imprinting upon release from its Cryo-Box. Place the Cryo-Box on the floor, carefully open it, and sit nearby. Your pony may sniff, nuzzle, and lick you as imprinting begins. Do not leave the area. You may gently touch your pony.
-Your Cryo-Box doubles as a comfortable nesting bed for your pony!
-Each pony comes with a 6-week supply of Xtreme grade nutrient paste designed to accommodate the rapid growth process. After the nutrient paste is used, your pony may switch to a normal diet (see Appendix A for recommendations)
-Your My Little Pony© begins its life as a wonderful little colt or filly! You may allow your pony to grow naturally, or you may use the provided Rapid Growth Accelerant to mature your pony to stallion / mare age in a matter of weeks!
-Your pony is engineered to love and support you. Please allow 3-4 weeks for colts and fillies to age before engaging in sexual activity. If rapidly aging your pony, sexual contact may begin after 2 weeks. Be gentle with your pony!
-Every night, place the Language-Assistance headphones on your pony for at least 30 minutes to teach your pony proper speaking skills.
-DO NOT REJECT YOUR PONY. REJECTED PONIES MAY HAVE VIOLENT TENDENCIES. IF YOU FEEL YOU MAY HAVE UNWITTINGLY REJECTED YOUR PONY, PLEASE CALL BIO SUPPORT AT 555-PONY-4ME IMMEDIATELY!
Today on HBBES Q&A: General questions and accessories for pony care. Decanted Hassenfelds are cryonic-transport friendly, a cost-saving (and when done with commerical products like the one shown) and stress-reducing way to bring your pony to places they might not normally easily manage, like extra-orbital habitats! Shown is one of our favorite third-party products, the Cryotranz© pet transport. We have the office-cat Opalescence modeling this one, but we've used similar ones for young fillies, while the larger versions can allow a normally space-sick unicorn or earth pony a comfortable method to travel to Mars or underwater habitats.
>So I cannot buy the true proletariat earth pony.
Earth ponies have severe problems with extended lack of contact with a strong gravitational field, leading to rapid loss of bone density and strength faster than normal exercise routines will restore. HBBES allows earth pony sales to habitats that maintain at least a .8G constant across the supermajority (66%+) of the living space.
Unicorns are prone to "sparking" outside of atmosphere due to reactions between their horns and excessive radiation. This renders them generally unsuitable for non-planetary settlement, lest the unicorn accidentally breach it's own suit or touch off something volatile (see the Belle Disaster newsfile as of two years prior in which one filly managed to breach an entire agrodome, barely preventing a total loss of atmosphere via accidentally coating the resulting hole with tree sap and emergency sealant)
HBBES allows Martian delivery of non-pegasi models, as long as they are guaranteed to remain in the gravity well outside of emergencies.
Which pone would be a better housewife?