Thank you for coming to see me. I understand you are looking to immigrate to Equestria. Would you be willing to answer a few questions first?
Nopony has to pay for health care in Equestria. Of course you will have to pay taxes if you choose to work.
Now tell me. How is your relationship with your mother?
I see... I'm sorry to hear that.
Would you say the words "Moral", "Forgiving" , or "Compassionate" describe you well?
I appreciate your honestly. Tell me, /mlp/ what do you see here?
These are somewhat concerning answers but I think we can work with this.
On that note...
I just really like your kind's porn, is that such a bad thing?
we get along well, we might yeall at each other but we drink together on some weekends
i am a lot like my mother in some ways...
but doubting could also describe me.
3 impaled potatoes?
No, it's porn, I look at it when I want to get off, figure it's pretty self explanitory. As for why it's all of your teacher, your sister in law and your friends..thats just preference.
/mlp/ I hardly think this is healthy behavior. However dishonesty is looked down upon in Equestria more than deviance and I can see you are not one to lie.
Which is why I need you to be absolutely honest with me when you answer this next question
You're more than welcome to make your own firearms if you pass the exam but don't let me catch you shooting any animals.
Freedom of speech is protected unless you call Celestia fat. You can call Luna fat though.
Because she is fat.
Now stop stalling me
I found these in your refrigerator. Are they yours?
Do you eat other animals?
What about ammo, how common is ammo?
> Wanting to become a pony
> Not wanting to stay human
hey uh..real quick..um..so dishonesty is bad, I get that..but whats the official stance on mind altering substances? ones that grow from the earth?
Twilight don't fuck around we've seen meat sandwiches and burgers in the show constantly, dairy products, eggs, and desserts made from gelatin (bone)
Quick yanking my chain and give me the pass
We're Omnivores, of course that's ours. We're also aware that animals are sentient in Equestria and are prepared to adjust. We can easily maintain a vegetarian diet as long as it has the proper nutrients we need.
god help you if you eat my goddamn steak.
Nothing sentient. Also why the fuck were you in my fridge? Let alone my house?
Okay honestly, I know were talking about my future citizenship in your world but if you all are gonna just waltz into my house and steal shit out of my fridge, we're gonna have a real fucking problem.
So as long as I don't get 'caught' shooting them then everything fine, sound's good to me. Now, what about eating them? Let's just say hypothetically' they agree to let me eat them, would that be okay?
sall good mang
Sorry bro, she asked if we had anything to drink so I told her to help herself to the fridge.
If I knew she was gonna be so judgmental on our diets I would have just gotten her some tap water.
Very interesting /mlp/
One moment while I tally your score and calculate your eligibility.
Threads like these remind me why I'm still here. God fucking bless you OP.
Purple one, can't I just show you proper paperwork?
I get good paperwork.
Here is passport.
[ Near Home Defence Intensifies ]
You manna Have fucking Go?
And a handful of operators.
Also, someone cap this shit.
I am not knowing what you are talking about.
I do nothing wrong.
Congratulations /mlp/! You might be an odd bunch but I think with a little work you'll be just the thing my new kingdom needs to thrive.
Before I open the portal could you fill out this Immigration Slip?
>height: 6ft 6.6inch
>Transpony species: Dark centaur
Age: Old enough.
Height: Tall enough for the good rides.
Transpony species: Dragon like Spike, because hands.
Picture: Pic related.
Age: Old enough for it to be pedophilia
Height: Nearly midget status
Transpony Species: Humanity or bust
Picture: Pic related
Well we can't do shit about it now! we got >>18158656 to fill out.
>Height: 5' 9"
Transpony Species: Unicorn
I choose my human form. I'm perfect the way I am.
Okay then /mlp/ Im not convinced these are very legitimate articles of information but i'll open the portal anyways.
you're goddamn right you'll open the portal.
I am no longer interested in going to equestria.
Celestia had the nerve to send an uneducated student to handle international affairs. Hardly a monarch to live under.
And if I leave, who will save the world?
Lez do dis. Prepare to get liberated, Ponyville.
Sergei's dreams are gone, but Sergei is true slav and must kill fascist, so I will step through portal anyway so that I fight fascists.
Farewell comrades and fuckers of horses.
Everyone knows humans will never go to Equestria besides for labor anyway, humans are terrible things that don't deserve a paradise.
I love all you fucking faggots.
Seriously though change the toilet paper what the fuck
See /mlp/ Sergei is going through the Portal. He's probably already being thrown a big party by Pinkie Pie.
What's the hold up?
Fuck it. They'll never take me alive, at the very least.
>load her in trunk of car
> But at this moment, the Canadian would start to shake, affixing his bayonet before walking to the housewide speaker system and blaring a single, bravery inspiring song.
need help guys?
Skyranger dropping in.
Brothers-in-arms go together, right Sergei? I'll come too, just in case.
My eyes are purple silly.
Do you like my new shades? They are free if you go through the portal.
WHAR DA FUG IZ DAT AIR SUPPORT?! I NEED CAS NAOOOO!!!
Chrysalis, just stop.
If you continue this charade I'm getting the RAID I keep hidden from these autist because I KNOW FOR A FACT at least three of them would try to get high off of it.
hello there don't suppose you will lets me eat you?
Everyone knows Twilight isn't into shades, that's Rainbow Dash's thing. Fuck Changelings man.
but mines better
Mind me inserting my dong up ur
cloaca? just to make sure you're a legit officer
>"Just go through the portal, and everything will be fine! No more monsters, no more strife! Just happiness!"
"Yeah. I will. Just after one thing."
>"Hey, what's that for? W-what are you doing?"
DIE YA SPAWN OF UNHOLY ESSENCE
[Mobile Infantry Intensifies]
omfg, all these summer and newfags going all edgy on everything with their talk of killing it and stuff, holy fuck guys, I know it's nice to be immersive, but you're fucking killing it with your fucking autism.
i meant this shitlord
WE'VE MADE IT THROUGH MEN, NOW WE LIBERATE FELLOW HUMANS.
THE SECRET PROJECT IS NEEDED, SEND IT IN.
Wait a minute, those words
>TO BE REMOVED
What does it mean!?
Glad you can make it to the party.
The HVT is one twilight sparkle. but we have cause to believe she is an imposter in disguise. most likely a taleban changeling. This is a teir 1 target and your mission is to neutralize it.get on it soldier
It's how they're going about it that makes it the edgy autism lad.
I'll hold it down so we can capture it and then have it put into proper custody! And by that, I mean the Inquisition!
Comrades, why are you of here? Did you not receive letter?
EMEMY FOXTROT ALPHA GOLD SIGHTED AT 2O METERS TO HORSEFUCKER ACTUAL, OVER.
SEND IT IN.
WE ARE HERE TO REMOVE KEBABUG.
Aye. I've spotted an enemy taleban horse
Y-you know /mlp/ I really cant keep this portal open forever and it closes for a million years at a time so...you
Really be going through.
he is mind control
I don't mind the whole kill the Changeling thing, it's how they're going about it that is annoying, fucking Titanfall shit and thinking they're all "1337 military commandos" or some fucking shit. It's like as if this fell from being an actually good thread to an autism thread, soon we're going to have things worth of being featured in a fucking cringe thread at this rate.
As the Anon who owns this house, I must say this has gone from weird, and it was weird in the beginning since we have like 30+ people in this house, most of whom have automatic weapons out of the wazoo and other autists who cannot stop arguing over a fridge, to utter batshit in 3 minutes.
Sergei is of right mind, is you who is out of it... And I thank you for it, now comrades, let us remove.
Hey, Twilight! Look at this fancy lantern! Doesn't it look pretty?
Only if you let me fuck you first. If I can screw you then I'll go through
call slenderman to help
Step aside you maggot. I am marching in there, and walking Sergei out, and God have mercy on you if you try to stop me.
FUCK YOU I AINT TRIFLIN' WITH NO STALE ASS PORTAL BITCH.
HELL WE HAVE ALL THE FIRE POWER HERE, I'M FLYING IN!
The only thing I have to say is pic.
>Captcha lledgyU the
I almost arrived, just be and my squad mate hanging in this chopper for hours.
I will keep the portal open
something tells me this is a test
Twilight is just testing us
she'e using magic to make it appear that she a changeling
it cool guys just go right ahead
into the portal
you right in
Quiet bug of the fascist, Sergei in Equestria long enough to know what you are, do not listen to her lies comrades
Aerial brother I think I can see Canterlot from here!
Why so nervous, I can practically here your chitin clattering. By the way, I've heard rumors about this "bug horse" named Chrysalis. I heard she is a real bitch, and a slut. A slutty bitch. And a queen? Please, she can't even provide for her own hive. Celestia is waaaay better. What do you think, TWILIGHT? I think she is a real poopy-head, also.
get. the. hell. out of here.
It's just the xeno to the xenos trying to trick us!
IT IS NOT A TACTICAL GENIUS!
Flying over the Everfree Forest with some of my buddies.
I love how everything went to complete shit in just a few minutes
Horsefucker Actual, this is is Horsfucker Delta Alpha Tango, we're gonna need a gun run over Sugar Cube Corner, do you read?
Big news for ya all, I managed to convince best pone to join sniper team, and no there isn't any civvies I'm doping my scope as we speak ready to take the shot
I know that feeling. I blame the summer and newfags.
Let's have a nice long discussion on why you partially look like a changeling.
Just abandon thread little Changeling, or ignore the autists, shit got derailed into autistic circlejerking.