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>"Anon, I...don't know if I...
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You are currently reading a thread in /mlp/ - My Little Pony

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>"Anon, I...don't know if I should ask this of you, but I fear that desperate times call for desperate measures. The Griffons, the Minotaurs, and the Diamond Dogs have already conquered our allies in Saddle Arabia. The Crystal Empire is facing internal turmoil. Equestria stands alone. Humans are well versed in warfare. We need a weapon to change the outcome of this terrible war. Please, will you help us?"
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Sure why not
Okay, but in return I want to take you as my wife.
Then I will take you again, but in a far more literal sense.
Finally I get to hit something I mean to cut. My years of HEMA may pay off after all.
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A weapon, you say?
>An evil smirk forms across the Anon's face
Yes... I have just the weapon you are in need of, Princess... And I can assure you, there is no finer, none more effective in all the realms...
Sure, I'll give you an Italian general. What could go wrong? Napoleon wasn't Italian dammit.
Im not a bombfag, but is that shit going to leave radiation?
I can promise you a victory so decisive and so glorious it would cement your unchallenged rule for a thousand years more. All I need in return is some fancy military title that puts General to shame and, of course, your hoof in marriage.
Fat Man was the third nuclear weapon ever built, and it was dropped on Nagasaki. So yes, it will.
>Celestia unlocking the untold potential of the atom with the help of an anon
Please continue, I like where this is going
Better yet, writefags?
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Celestia, let me tell you of mankinds greatest saint...
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>Implying strong female warrior types getting raped isn't my fetish.
>Implying I wouldn't pay to see you take the barb, the horn, and the knot.
Have fun.

>"Dear sister, are you sure you want to go through with this? You look as nervous as I've ever seen you."
>Celestia takes a deep breath to steady herself as she looks at her reflection in the mirror.
"I have to, Luna. Anonymous is a very powerful and influential individual with a levy of over eighty-thousand soldiers at his command. A political marriage is the most reliable way to ensure his support, and his armies could prove vital in winning this war."
>Luna sighed.
>"But do you love him?"
"I... He has proved a great friend over the last few years."
>"You didn't answer my question. Tia."
>Celestia looked down at her sister.
"We cannot afford not to have him on our side, and for that... I will just have to learn to love him."

Celestia obligated to enter ito a sexual relationship with Anon? Unf.
Actually I like this idea. I may write an actual story about this one day.
Doooo iiiitttttt
>"I will just have to learn to love him."
This pleases me.
One does not simply assemble a nuclear weapon with layman knowledge. Good luck refining uranium, running it in a lightwater reactor to produce plutonium, refining spent fuel rods into a critical mass of plutonium, and developing the precision explosives necessary to force them together.

If you have the high explosives to build a nuclear bomb, then you could be building regular bombs. Or cannons, guns, and rockets.

Closer. But where are you gonna get gunpowder?

I'm thinking unless they have fireworks, the best we can do is longbow (assuming anypony can pull one), crossbow, trebuchet.
I fucking hate this nickname.
Just imagine their first time together as Celestia climbs onto the bed, knowing that she has to fulfil the physical side of her obligations in order to keep Anon's support, but nervous as she has no idea if he'll be gentle and caring or rough and take her like an animal with no regard for her own comfort and pleasure. Of course it'll end in true love because I like a happy ending.
>Implying trixie didn't have fireworks
Why you gotta ruin my fun, anon?
Magic could take care of a lot of that, I'd just tell them how to focus it.
Besides, it's not so much about the practicality as it is the intimidation factor.
>Implying they don't have the concept of a "bullet." (See "Find a Pet" lyrics)
>Implying they don't have cannons and tanks for recreational use (via Pinkie Pie and Cheese Sandwich)
>Implying they couldn't easily build guns with the resources and materials they have.
Forced marriage Celestia and Anon when?
How about Sunny Buns?
I'll start once I've had some sleep and food. If this thread dies then I'll post a new one titled "Celestia's political marriage" or something when I have some good amount written.
>Implying that Nugget clips aren't made from the condensed blood of fallen comrades and vodka.
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>black powder
fucking savages
I can't imagine Luna using that one.

But I guess Anon is an entirely different story.
All wars have an end Celestia. That's why their started in the first place. You get more than one ruler with a small penis in one room together and soon they start measuring each other up, then you get to the one with the smallest dick and he doesn't want to show. By process of elimination he is ridiculed as having the smallest penis in the room, and though he doesn't want to admit it he knows its true.

And you know what he does? He leaves the room. He refuses to acknowledge the insightful wisdom of others simply because he is insecure about his own self. Then he goes home and spreads lies and slander about the others. He stages a few mock attacks on his own soil and shifts the blame to the others. Then he raises an army on a defunct speech you could construct on a speak-n-say.

And so he marches. He marches and he justifies his genocide as glory for his people thinking falsely this will convince the others once and for all that he doesn't have a small penis. But you know what happens next? Of course you do. Soon the war turns against him and starts encroaching on his territory. His home town, his childhood home is destroyed and he is left with no past, barely any present, and little if any future.

He soon realizes that to win this war, he needs the help of a madman, or become one himself. He approaches the worst of the mentally ill and calls him friend. He asks his advice because, well he's obviously so well behaved he must know something about restraint, right?

*sniggering laughter*

Only when it counts Celestia. All this man wants to do is watch the ruler fall and his world burn. That's all any of us want isn't it?

When was the last time this ruler felt truly happy? Was it before the war he started? Was it after? The truth is he was never happy, and he never will be. Because he has destroyed everything he ever held dear, because he lusted for what he couldn't have. Why have the fates conspired against him? They haven't.
You just have a small penis.
I read that in the voice of the Heath Ledger Joker.
Fucking creepy.
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thank you

I decided to write a little now. Keep in mind I'm tired so it's probably full of mistakes. I'm going to bed right after posting this.

The way I imagine this is that Anon is King of a nation composing of many species, most notably humans that are the descendants of those that came to Equestria from Earth long ago.

>"I do not ask this of you lightly, Anonymous. I assure you I understand that while joining in our war may seem-"
>You hold up a hand, effectively silencing the princess as you take a sip of the wine she'd kindly provided.
"I understand well enough what you're asking and the reasons for doing so, princess. My holdings and those of my vassals include many of the major trading ports along the Northern coast, and in addition we control over sixty percent of all gold and silver production throughout the continent. Certainly our support would prove of great benefit to Equestria and its allies. "
>From across the table you see a brief look of hope flicker in Celestia's eyes.
>"Then does that mean that you'll accept our call for aid?"
>For a long while you say nothing, preferring to gaze thoughtfully at your host while you weigh up the choices in your mind.
"I'm afraid that no, it does not."
>Though it's hard to see under the calm, diplomatic and near indecipherable exterior that she'd honed over centuries of practice, you spot the faint glimmer of hope Celestia once possessed being replaced by one of dread.
>"Please, lord Anonymous, I urge you to reconsider."
>She's desperate now and you know it.
"I cannot in good conscience draw my people into a war that's not our own. This alliance of your enemies has no quarrel with us or our lands and would find it all but impossible to assail our holdings North of the Whitefang mountains. You would ask me to call upon my lords to raise armies and sally forth from the safety of our lands in order to aid in your battles, knowing they would stand to lose much yet gain nothing but your thanks?"

>"Equestria has always been a great trading partner with your people, has it not? If we fall then-"
>Once more you speak, interrupting the princess.
"If you fall then we would trade with those that took your place. I understand your reasoning, Celestia, and if it were up to me alone I would not hesitate to rally to your call. Unfortunately that is not the case however, and because we are not officially allies I would have no way to justify such a war to my vassals. A king that disregards the opinions of his lords doesn't remain a king for long."
>"Please, we have nowhere else to turn."
>Truly you pitied the princess before you.
>To have once such as her reduced to little more than begging for assistance made you feel ashamed on her behalf.
"Give me something... Some way of convincing my lords that this war would be of benefit to our people. Do that and I can offer you all the help that's within my power to give."
>Across from you Celestia looks down in thought, no doubt scouring every corner of her mind for something that would sway you.
>After a long silence the princess finally looks up at you and speaks, her voice one of resignation.
>"I can offer but one thing."
>You take another sip of wine.
>You see her take a deep breath to steady her nerves.
>"I can offer you myself."

>That was... unexpected.
>Clearly she can see the look of curiosity and confusion on your face.
>"In exchange for your aid I offer myself in marriage."
>You're quite frankly speechless.
>Never would you have guessed that she'd be so willing to resort to such means to secure an alliance.
>There was no doubt it was an interesting proposition.
>Though you knew it was desperation that drove her to it, you can't deny that it was a tempting offer.
>Celestia was renowned far and wide for her beauty and, though you were of an entirely different species, the attraction was there for sure.
>In addition, your people had long since discovered that humans could produce viable offspring with a great many races.
>The sheer number of half-ponies and half-griffons in your land bore witness to this fact.
>So not only would you gain an ironclad alliance with one of the world's strongest kingdoms, but you'd also be able to conceive an heir that would be in line to inherit both The North and Equestria.
>Though that heir would be a half-breed.
>Your lineage had consisted of nothing but pure-blooded humans for many hundreds of years, and some of your more traditionally minded lords may not take kindly to you diluting the royal bloodline with one of a 'lesser' race.
>You mull the notion over in your mind for several long moments, trying to foresee every possible outcome and consequence for the decision.
>You stand to gain much but it comes at a risk.
>After a tense minute or so of silence you finally give your answer.
"I accept."
>implying war is caused by lol small ween-peen, nothing more
>implying that penis size correlates to being right or just in any fashion
>implying you can win a war without first winning over the hearts and minds of people first
>implying all war is genocide
>implying any good commander would have shit fall apart so hard he needs the help of a Jokeresque saboteur
>implying conquering your enemies isn't the greatest joy a man can experience


Jesus Christ.
Many years later.

"Mommy, how did you and daddy first meet?"
>"Oh, well...
How many Tigers do you need mein fräulein?
I think she'd prefer a tank that didn't break down ever few miles and that was in less need on constant maintenance.
How's this?
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Of course, have this instead.
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>I think she'd prefer a tank that didn't break down ever few miles and that was in less need on constant maintenance.
Eww, I butchered that sentence

Both better.
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Spend much time thinking about small penises, m8?
where is this from
ok i agree with you on the bomb but im sure they could build a firearm not an advanced one sure but a basic one

plus anons a genius
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I could, but it would be hard to convince the American government otherwise unless you give us mineral rights to areas X Y and Z surrounding Appleloosa on this map here and the capabilities of shipping our cargo back home.

>muh oil
>muh war economy
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Please continue good sir
i like this,including the idea that anon could use his military and technological knowledge to raise himself an army in equestria,might even be a mixed race army,going around,proving his worth,taking whoever will give him loyalty. id ask "but why would he do this?" but then i think "because hes human of course."
Nice trips
That's not how it works.
Godammit im stupid
All gunpowder is, is charcoal, sulfer, and potassium nitrate (saltpeter) three common ingredients for alchemy
So the way I seeing this is that Anon's kingdom has a ruling class of humans and that, while other races also serve him, they're considered by most to be of lesser birth and standing than their human counter parts. Humans form the backbone of the military and the knightly classes with satyrs coming in below them in the hierarchy, followed after by the other races who act mostly as serfs, servants and levy troops. While crossbreeding with non-humans is widespread, it's considered distasteful for humans of noble birth to "dilute" their bloodlines.

I think it'd add an interesting component to the story if Celestia knew about the slightly xenophobic attitudes her husband-to-be's people beforehand.

Thoughts? Does it sound too edge or whatever?
>One does not simply assemble a nuclear weapon with layman knowledge
You wanna fuckin go m8?
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Anything for you, my Princess.
"You need Janitor Anon, I hear that just a mention of his name can turn an army around."
That's not trips fucking retard, holy shit you're a newfag
>ctrl+f 'jews'
>0 results.

Really? I was sure at least 5 people we're going to blame the Jews for this
>implying anon knows enough about nuclear physics to say anything more than "Well you have to get this uranium stuff and somehow enrich it and there's something called heavy water that factors in somewhere and then you hit the pieces together really hard and it explodes."
>Not knowing nuclear physics.
>Do you even split anon?
What if I want to marry Luna instead?

i have one question, if they are descendants from humans from earth, what tech do they have?, why do they have that hierarchy, and not something more "modern"?

pls, continue
I'm thinking medieval tech and a feudal hierarchy. As for why they still use such an archaic form of governance, well I was thinking that the original humans came from Earth back when such a system was the norm, and that they wished to maintain the status quo with themselves at the top of their society with the "lesser" races being subservient to them to an extent.

I'm literally just making this up as I go.
Continue, please.
We'll end their memes together, Princess.
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oh boy!
"Please, I beg of you, find another way. My kind cannot be trusted. They only seek reward for themselves. allowing them into this world will only doom it."
Get the fuck outta here.
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>Tanks and Artillery
>Of any use versus an opponent who can fly or burrow through the earth respectively

Griffons and Diamond dog armies alone would fuck over most of the pony lands, with human help or not.

Nevermind them also being allies + Fucking Minotaurs. Only weakness they have is that none of their races have been seen to use magic, and so presumably they cannot.

Anon's only hope of survival is to give Celestia the finger and defect.

Hopefully the Dog and Minotaur leaders could be convinced not to simply kill him on sight due to him standing on two legs, having hands / fingers and looking vaguely like they do.
Good question. Maybe a Luna version will be written later on?
bah, were humans,we can easily over power and kill them,especially if were allowed to forge modern technology.

i will say it is a hard battle to win.
>griffons from the sky
>Minotaur from the ground
>diamond dogs from below

the diamond dogs are the real problem here. we can always come up with a way to take out things in the vast,open sky,and on the ground we've got no problems,but even WITH modern technology we really have no experience dealing with an enemy like the diamond dogs.

dealing with them honestly will decide victory or defeat.
...Diamond dog in your pic has a sharp rock on a stick...That won't do much.
>the diamond dogs are the real problem here.

- Flooding
- Flamethrowers
- Mines
- "mustard" gas

And that's just old ass shit.
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Perhaps, but if a pony is about waist-height to a human, then the average Rover / Guard sized dog is about as tall as a human, if not more so.

If they can burrow through rock presumably they could tunnel within close range of any human warmachine and destroy it without needing weapons

We can also assume they are aggressive as any dog can be, strong, and resist shit like arrows through toughened hide, and the armor they wear.

They're pretty much Orcs that can tunnel. Fighting them would be like some Gears of War shit.

well problem solved(even without poofing in modern shit).

now we just have to make sure we have the numbers to at least not get stomped in an ocean of flesh.

doesn't matter how much technology,traps,and war machines you can pop out if the enemy outnumbers you 200:1. unless we bring nukes into this but then we wouldn't need anything else anyways.

i personally like the idea that everything has to be built from scratch,no magic poofing in of human technology. id say with magic aid,we would be lucky to reach the technology of WWI,if even that. although plenty of things before gunpowder was even invented to turn the war in equestrias favor.
Torch out the holes they build.

Ponies/humans equiped with Mustard gas / grenades / possibly flamethrowers could deal with Diamond Dog tunnelers as they attack i suppose.

The problem is not removing existing tunnels from use, but dealing with the ambush potential as suddenly a small pack, or perhaps a huge army of dogs shows up behind your force.

Whilst also watching the skies and the ground for everything else. Each race can be dealt with on it's own, but it's the alliance of the three that puts the serious pressure on.
They have knowledge of canons iirc. Just hop-that up and load it with chain and grape. Guaranteed to break any mass charge.

Then there's the trenches.
With gas.
Barb and razor wire.
Muddy/flooded fields.
Cross fire arc flamethrowers if you don't like Maxim or Gatling guns.

That'll be the basic outer perimeter.
Tunneling and mining are very dangerous activities. Doubly so when conducting military operations like sapping.

Ever hear of mines blowing up, caving in, suddenly flooded? That's just nature and not someone who actually knows you're down there and trying to dig through. Just pumping the ground with sewage and anaerobic bacteria can lead to dangerous methane build-up in tunnels.
The Alliance of the three lets them fight on pretty much any terrain, and cover each others weaknesses.

That said, no one has mentioned the ponies ability to control the fucking weather and the elements themselves.

Unless the Griffons alone could destroy or take Cloudsdale that would be a problem over long campaigns
I'm liking this idea. I'll get on a story for later.
"You made a wise decision coming to me."
>She smiles and opens her mouth, likely to thank you, but you cut her off.
"While we do hold a most favorable position, as well as fresh supplies and manpower to bolster your own, we just simply can't do this."
>"What do you mean?"
"You want me to march my men into a battle they have no involvement in? One where they'd be outnumbered five to one, against forces they've only heard about in mythology? It's madness, and I can't do that to my people."
>She leans to you, eyes pleading. "I beg you to reconsider."
"I cannot. Humans are a very tricky thing, Celestia. As it stands, this would be a causeless fight. We would be slaughtered out there. A human needs a purpose to go on, understand? A king's word only does so much for his troops, and I will not be the one to send them to their deaths."
>Just then, a pony mailman enters into the room.
>"Not now," Celestia sighs and pulls away from you.
>"Princess, we just got word the Loosatainteyah was attacked by the griffons. Only 761 ponies survived of the 1831 ponies and 128 humans."
>A sense of dread washes over you. You swallow hard and sit up.
"Well Princes..." she wears her same diplomatic mask, designed to hide her true feelings, but for a second you swear you could see a glimmer of happiness in those huge eyes of hers. "You've got your cause. Expect reinforcements within a week."
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>tfw Anon is Ned Stark
Conceivably, you can fight WWII with WWI Technology. The Thompson SMG was available by that time, if we go by late WWI standards. Not only that, but the French 75MM could provide decent artillery support. And the British had a plane that could be used for paratrooper drops. The problem was with the Generals. They were still fighting the last war, and thinking in terms of Napoleonic warfare.
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Well princess, I can't say I can help you here, but these Dwarves seem to have a solution to your problem.
Oh god please no not them.
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>But where are you gonna get gunpowder?
>He doesn't know how to make his own gunpowder
A better question would be, does it matter?

Depends, really. Do you want Anon's kingdom to be composed of Modern humans, or modern pricks? I'd like to have a little faith that we aren't that dickish, nowadays. And if the kingdom isn't considered "Modern," then go for it.

As for me, let me writefag a little based off of >>21854359

From the moment Celestia secured the alliance with the North Kingdom, we were doomed. We had not yet realized this, until it was far too late. We scoffed at the idea that the humans could be of any use to Celestia in this late hour. They had no claws, no magic, no great strength. They could not fly or dig great distances on their own. Our might, combined with our formations, made our warriors unstoppable. The diamond dogs were hardy, and could burrow quicker than they could run. And the griffon air battalions were bloodthirsty, and none could escape their vision. Together, our alliance was a force to be reckoned with, a juggernaut with no equal. We saw her marriage to their king only as a futile attempt by Celestia to prolong the inevitable. That was our first mistake. Underestimating the humans.

The North Kingdom had not warred with any great force since it's inception. No one knew what they were truly capable of. There were rumors that, back on their world, they were masters of warfare. Our own pride chalked it up to silly propaganda, preying on superstition of an unknown race. We were on the verge of taking their capitol, when we first encountered the human soldiers. There was a forest, the Everfree. Our army had decided to take a shortcut through the forest, as it had been too large to merely go around in order to get to the town just outside of the capitol, Ponyville. We began our march boldly, going through that dreaded forest. Since the forest was so unnatural, we believed that none could survive within it, save for the mindless beasts that hunted each other in its depths. But the humans didn't just survive there. They thrived in the Everfree.
Damn post limit.

As we marched, the sound of thunder came at us in rapid succession, and immediately, our numbers began to fall. I looked, and saw silhouettes of humans, aiming at us with what the dogs called "thundersticks." Perhaps the humans have another name. Immediately, I began to rally the troops, but by the time we got into formation, the humans were gone. That's when there was more of that awful sound, striking from behind us. In our pride and arrogance, we had unwittingly stumbled into the human's trap. We could smell them, but the forest made it difficult. The dogs could not burrow, the roots of the trees grew too deep. The griffons could not strike, for the dense foliage masked the human's positions. And we minotaurs could not form ranks, there were too many trees in our path. To say we fought hard would be a lie. We were slaughtered. Our enemy struck hard and fast, and never gave us the chance to retaliate. As griffons fell from the skies, I sounded for the retreat.

We had lost a tenth of our forces in the forest, I later learned. But had I not ran, I believe that number would have been greater. Some of us learned our lesson the hard way, to never underestimate the humans. Others who were more arrogant believed this to be a stroke of luck against us. Regardless, our first mistake was made. And we soon found that we would make many more, before war's end.
- General Longhorn, Fifth Minotaur Army of invasion.
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Reminds me of this
That's because it is that, just a remake.


Honestly, I've never seen that before.


>21st century
>Not realizing that every episode of MLP is just a rehash of older tales
My weapon is Fear princess. All prisoners of war shall be impaled around our borders.
“I’m flattered really. Tell me, Celestia. What is so urgent you set aside this war of yours to make time for a little ole’ human like me?”
>The princess removes her helmet, hovering over some wine and glasses for the two of you.
>”It is with a heavy heart that I’ve called you here, King Anonymous.”
“Oh please, you’re with friends. Anonymous is fine,” you say, taking a glass as she finishes pouring.
>She smiles a diplomatic lie and sits.
>The two of you are silent for a time, simply looking about the room or out the window overlooking the castle-like city of Canterlot.
>”I’m sure you know of our current situation.” She finally says as you take another sip of the crimson wine.
>If there’s one thing Equestrians were good at, it was making this.
>That, and jumping to “friendship” to solve all their problems.
“I know you’re busy fighting on three fronts.”
>She sighs heavily and sets down her glass.
>"Anon, I...don't know if I should ask this of you, but I fear that desperate times call for desperate measures.” She peaks your interest. “The Griffons, the Minotaurs, and the Diamond Dogs have already conquered our allies in Saddle Arabia.”
>You already knew this much. It was quite annoying since now you can’t get any salt out of them.
>“The Crystal Empire is facing internal turmoil. Equestria stands alone.” She pauses, preparing herself for whatever she’s about to say. “Humans are well versed in warfare. We need a weapon to change the outcome of this terrible war. Please, will you help us?"
>Oh boy.
>Did you hear that right?
>You smile and stifle a laugh. She deflates at your response, or lack thereof.
“You must be kidding me. That’s why you called me here? To ask for help in some war?”
>”This is not any simple war, Anonymous. My people, their culture, their freedoms, their very way of life is at risk here.”
“As is in any war.”
>You set your glass down and lean forward. “As it was seventy years ago.”
care to continue?
>She frowns.
“Oh, did you think we’d so easily forget about your little crusade? Do you have any idea how many people, how many human lives were lost because of you?”
>”I know full well the results of my actions. I’ve thought and rethought every day since then about what I did, and I am truly sorry for what we did to your people.”
“Sorry doesn’t cut it, Princess. We were lost. We were thrown down into these lands without any warning, and what is the first thing you do? You send a battalion to wipe us out because of our ‘lack of friendship’.”
>You slam your glass down on the table, splashing out a small bit of wine.
“My father wasted the best years of his life fighting a senseless war because of your lack of foresight!”
>Her ears fold back as she lowers her head.
“We lost thousands to your damned ponies. Top of the line technology versus our borderline *sticks*!”
>”And yet you won regardless.”
“It was no easy feat.”
>”Now you sit upon the throne of a race known throughout the land for their military prowess. You have a foothold in the region’s largest mines and ports, plenty of land to grow and prosper, and a reputation that will keep you safe for generations.”
“And we owe that to you? Ha! All of that we earned. We paved it with the bodies of our friends and families. People that wouldn’t have been lost had it not been for you. Now you come to me asking for help? No, Celestia. It’s time you reap what you’ve sewn.”
>”You would become the very thing you hate simply to get back at me? There are innocent lives at stake, Anonymous. I urge you to reconsider.”
>She stands and raises her head again, high enough that she ends up looking down on you.
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I have a big weapon for you, princess...
It's about time you asked for help, I see you've finally come to accept that the human race is far more superior in terms of weaponry. Maybe now Mr.Tibbets over here will stop dropping thermonuclear weaponry on all of Equestria's capitals.
>”Anonymous, I stand before you, begging for help in a war I cannot win on my own. Millions of ponies are on the line. Our morale is low, our soldiers are tired, and we’ve exhausted the supplies we once had.”
>Her eyes shine in the light. They’re wet, you think, and you can see some red forming in the corners.
>”Our allies are either defeated or unable to help. No other nation will offer their support. You, the humans, you are our only hope. The fate of millions rests in your hands. Please, do right by them. Don’t make the mistake I did all those years ago.”
>She stares at you, unmoving save for that majestic mane still flowing in the imaginary wind.
>She frowns.
“Oh, did you think we’d so easily forget about your little crusade? Do you have any idea how many people, how many human lives were lost because of you?”
>”I know full well the results of my actions. I’ve thought and rethought every day since then about what I did, and I am truly sorry for what we did to your people.”
“Sorry doesn’t cut it, Princess. We were lost. We were thrown down into these lands without any warning, and what is the first thing you do? You send a battalion to wipe us out because of our ‘lack of friendship’.”
>You slam your glass down on the table, splashing out a small bit of wine.
“My father wasted the best years of his life fighting a senseless war because of your lack of foresight!”
>Her ears fold back as she lowers her head.
“We lost thousands to your damned ponies. Top of the line technology versus our borderline *sticks*!”
>”And yet you won regardless.”
“It was no easy feat.”
>”Now you sit upon the throne of a race known throughout the land for their military prowess. You have a foothold in the region’s largest mines and ports, plenty of land to grow and prosper, and a reputation that will keep you safe for generations.”
“And we owe that to you? Ha! All of that we earned. We paved it with the bodies of our friends and families. People that wouldn’t have been lost had it not been for you. Now you come to me asking for help? No, Celestia. It’s time you reap what you’ve sewn.”
>”You would become the very thing you hate simply to get back at me? There are innocent lives at stake, Anonymous. I urge you to reconsider.”
>She stands and raises her head again, high enough that she ends up looking down on you.
>”Anonymous, I stand before you, begging for help in a war I cannot win on my own. Millions of ponies are on the line. Our morale is low, our soldiers are tired, and we’ve exhausted the supplies we once had.”
>Her eyes shine in the light. They’re wet, you think, and you can see some red forming in the corners.
>”Our allies are either defeated or unable to help. No other nation will offer their support. You, the humans, you are our only hope. The fate of millions rests in your hands. Please, do right by them. Don’t make the mistake I did all those years ago.”
>She stares at you, unmoving save for that majestic mane still flowing in the imaginary wind.
>Funny. Even when throwing all her cards on the table and groveling at your feet, she still holds a regal air around her.
>It may be her size or reputation, but there always seems to be a power emanating from her. It’s managed to put all those in her presence at ease.
>All those save for demons from Tartarus and you humans.
>She has a point too.
>She’s at the end of her rope.
>Equestria’s future will be decided by what you say in this room now.
>It’s a terrible burden to have so many lives dependant on what you say.
>That’s a burden you accepted when you took the crown though.
>A human crown. These horses are meaningless to you.
>They’ve done nothing for you humans. Simple trades and the occasional festival.
>Still…there is an entire generation of innocent ponies on the line.
>Horses that never raised a hoof to your people.
>Women and children that have never seen war before.
>Could you really abandon them?
>Yes, you could. You were so ready too minutes ago.
>But should you?
>Would it be right to leave them to suffer alone?
>Your father, King Incognito, had always said that the strong exist to help the weak, and that’s why a king puts everything on the line for his people.
>There’s no doubt the humans are a force to be reckoned with.
“What are you prepared to give up?” you finally ask?
>Celestia seems caught off guard by your question.
>She raises an eyebrow in response.
“For my aid, what are you prepared to give me in return?”
>You’re going to squeeze her for everything she’s got if she wants your help.
>not using Project Thor
top pleb

>”I could reduce the prices on all our exports to New Earth.”
>”W-well we could—“
“Here’s how it’s going to go. New Earth is now your favorite trading partner. Half of everything you export will be sent to us at half the price, and everything you buy from us will be double. Your soldiers will be drafted into any skirmish we may face. The humans will have exclusive access to your mines and ports.”
>Celestia stomps her hoof, obviously not happy with your terms.
>She glares at you, wings now flared out, and barks in borderline Royal Canterlot Voice.
>”That’s absurd! Why with all that, we may as well be ma—“
>She stops herself.
>The princess is silent for a minute.
>One turns to two, turns to you enjoying the rest of your wine.
>After staring off into space for a while, she sighs and composes herself.
>”In return for your help, I can offer you…myself.”
“Excuse me?” You’re going to need a buzz to think about that one. Down the hatch goes a newly poured glass of the red stuff.
>”My hoof in marriage.”
>You cover the table with the contents of your mouth and cough up whatever made it down your throat.
>Wow, right out of left field.
>That’s probably the one thing you weren’t prepared to hear.
>”Well?” she asks.
>Unbelievable. She thinks herself important enough that her hoof is such a powerful bargaining chip?
>Well, actually…
>Until this war, Equestria had been one of the strongest countries in the world.
>It’s taken a year facing three equally powerful nations alone to bring them to this point.
>Still though.
“This is a surprise. I’ll be honest. Of everything I thought you would say, that wasn’t on the list.”
>And you thought she had all her cards out before.
“I never thought I would live to see the day when my father’s greatest enemy would…propose.”
>”Our nations’ wealth could be shared. You and I could usher in a golden age. The humans and ponies both could prosper if you accept and send your aid.”
>How do you respond to that?
>She’s a…pony.
>She’s also the ruler of the sun, and the closest thing to a god you’ve ever seen.
>You’ll admit she’s not too bad looking either.
>Two nations like yours combining would be a sight to behold.
>It’s not real marriage.
>It’s just strategic allying through rings and a life bond.
>That’s a thing.
>Father forgive you.
>You slowly nod.
>Celestia perks up, taking a few ginger steps towards you until the soaked table stops her.
“I…accept your…generous offer.”
>The princess smiles, elated by your response.
>Then, you suppose the weight of your acceptance dons on her.
>Her smile slowly fades. “Very good. When can I expect your aid?”
“Soon. I believe we both have…things to attend to.”
>”Yes, quite.”
“I’ll uh, see myself out.”
>”Goodbye Anonymous. I’ll see you soon?”
“Yeah sure. I’ll bring a ring I guess.”
>”I will have one prepared as well.”
"Until next time."
>"Until next time...honey."
"Don't do that."

That's all I have written. Should I keep this going later?
Where is that B-29 flying bastard...
>implying you know how to build that
Come on, that's almost as ridiculous as the anon who wanted to give Celestia an atom bomb.
this is territory i havent experienced
Yes, yes you should.
>all these "war is bad" libtards
>No fuckawesome viking-like humans
Thread is shit.
...You rang?

Ah, I see the problem.

Just gimme a target, your majesty.
>"war is bad" libtards

What thread are you reading?
I direct you to >>21859160
>Mine Uranium 235
>Using a specially built nuclear centrifuge that Anon may remember the designs of since he'd be a nuclear scientist in the story, he enriches the uranium 235 to about 5%
>If a trucker can build Fat Man, a scientist can build little boy
>Harvest about 141 pounds of Ur, get some TNT, build your Little Boy shell and pretend its 1945 all over again

Dude, do you even nuke?
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Fffuuuuuuuuck yes!
So you're saying get buff and curb stomp them? yeah, real challenge there.

read what this anon said tho>>21859056
"Hold on I must tweet this."
Sir, my sides just left the stratosphere.

And perhaps you're right...
Maybe I should let Bockscar take over.
I actually meant if you'd stop bombing Equestria entirely. Unless Celestia tells you to, of course. You're essentially her soldier at this point, since you offered her help, in order to keep the deal up you need to do as she requests.

At least no nuclear weapons, mutated ponies would be kinda weird.
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I'm offering to nuke her enemies though...

She wants a weapon to help end the terrible war, and I'm offering her one.

I don't see the problem here.
Does she even know of their power?...
Guess she's about to find out.
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If she hasn't figured it out by now, she never will.
Consider the shit you're dealing with here, at least warn her about it
>inb4 another LuftAnon fanfic
Maybe she's just too focused on the war to actually check in on it, or something. As I said, you're essentially her soldier at this point, and what kind of soldier doesn't ask of their permission from their leader to drop a weapon capable of wiping out an entire army?
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Fine, fine...

Princess, I have, in the bell of this flying machine, a weapon which has the potential to end this war in a matter of moments by wiping out an entire military in one explosion.

Would you allow me to use such a weapon to help you end said war?

So how's this for a premise:

Anon actually happens to be a high-flown nuclear technician and aviation scientist, and agrees to build weapons for Celestia:

Atom bombs.

Dropping one on a city of minotaurs and threatening more is enough to push them out of the war.

Diamond dogs, living underground, are more difficult to threaten, so they continue their harassment of Equestria unabated, and on his way to drop a bomb on the capital of the griffon kingdoms, anon, his plane, and his bomb all fall into the hands of the griffon special forces when they intercept him.

The griffons know what a bomb does by this point, given what happened to the minotaurs.
Sounds just as retarded as the roleplay.
>The only individual that has the knowledge to create the bomb, would recklessly go deep into enemy territory to drop it on a race of flying creatures.

Assuming Anon could also build bunker-busters and ICBM's, the war would still end rather quickly.
I like it.
I dunno', trusting a friendshippone to kill millions is a bit heavy.
The suspense
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ya know what they say...

silence is consent.
What if celestia is kill?

should we bomb Canterlot again just in case they raided it in our absence?
Dubs demand it.

Canterlot it is!
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Oh Celestia, save us all!

oh, wait...
For the hat-trick, boys!
...Target coming into view...
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...Opening bomb-bay doors...
Is it too late to say I changed my mind about the idea of bombing Canterlot?

>Griffons fly in out of nowhere and steal the bomb
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Confirming the payload has reached its target.

For the third time.

Well shit.

Now we definitely know Celestia is kill. I guess the marriage is off?
>implying you can't just marry her dead remains
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What's that?

I can't hear you over the sound of these roaring engines.
Please do.
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There, now that that is taken care of, let's get back to the story.
>this pleb doesn't know how to make gunpowder
The ingredients are fairly common anon, they've been making it since the 15th century.
Not really, keep in mind that if they are built to the scale of the ponies most diamond dogs would be around 4/5 foot tall at best. And their hides have not been shown to be stronger than that of an average dog, meaning projectiles would be effective.

Also anon, they live in close proximity in deep burros, a simple flu would decimate their numbers, add some weaponization to a couple of em..
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>Tfw you are an engineer
>Tfw you know how to forge best blades, hardest armor and optical systems including lasers
>Tfw you are also a chemistry doctor so you know, how to make poisons, explosives and other things
>Tfw you can (in theory) make primitive gun by yourself frop a couple of pipes, wood pieces and some other... secret things.
That'll be more fun, actually, if Anon at this situation won't be an army commander. Instead he can be a "crasy scientist" who will greatily improve the quality of an army, combining his knowledge with the magic of this world.
Just imagine a simple bomb, enchanced with magic. Or an optical system, that focuses and "powers" raw "unicorn ray" into a thin laser-type ray, that cuts through everything.
A blade, that is...
>Tfw you know probably too much, he-hejhe
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>"Well, sir, this beauty here should do the trick"
"What on Elequestria is that?"
>"M41A Pulse Rifle. Fabricated by Armat Battlefield Systems. UNCM standard issue. Decent weight, LCD ammo counter on the right side, fairly easy to handle. Sights are total shit, but they are usable, if only barely. Fires 10x24mm caseless ammunition at 900 rpm, in either single shot, quadruple shot, or fully automatic. Can split a Minotaur in half at close range, or cause fatal tissue damage to one at long range. U1 Grenade launcher fires 37lb antimatter fragment grenades, easily able to blow the average Elequestrian house in half".
"Very impressive, Anon! When do we start shipping these in?
>"Oh, after a payment of, say 40 million credits..."
I shall dispatch the drones right away, however in return I ask you execute lord Tirek before he takes over both of our realms.
The wiki page didn't specify, so I winged it.
Also, 37lb of antimatter reacting with 37lb of matter would probably vaporize the entirety of Saddle Arabia.
got any more that are similar to this? because i would love that
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>M42A Pulse Rifle
>Not M56 Smartgun
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Give me two hammers and I will rebuild this world. In the name of your sister.
I mean...you can come too...but...moonbutt> Sunbutt
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Simply point me in the direction of your enemies and remove my leash.
>One billionth of a gram of positrons contains as much energy as 37.8 kilograms (83 pounds) of TNT,[9]
I'm pretty sure 37 lbs of antimatter would vaporize the entire planet.

The invasion of Cloudsdale was a total disaster. Not because of the ponies defending the cloud city, no. The Wonderbolts were nothing more than trick flying showponies. What costed us the battle, what costed us so many lives, was the machines. The machines the humans created, that allowed them to fly. Large machines of wood and steel, moving far quicker than any griffon could fly. In comparison, these machines flew rather clumsily, and were larger than our minotaur allies, but they were nevertheless deadly. The thundersticks they mounted towards the front, the four fixed wings, the wheels on the bottom...just by looking at them, one would never guess they could fly. But they did.

We griffons could fight any pony in single combat, and emerge victorious. But just one of these human fighting machines could wipe out a single squadron of our warriors in a matter of minutes. We had formed ranks, and began descending upon Cloudsdale. The ponies were ready for us, and charged. They fought with courage, and any griffon could be proud, had they fought the same way. But soon the battle turned against them. We had taken their rainbow factory and their stadium, when we heard a loud buzzing coming from above. We tried to look towards the source, only to be blinded by Celestia's damned sun. Then came the thunder. The rapid sound of those awful human thundersticks. Immediately, my comrades around me began dropping out of the sky. Then I saw the shape of a massive "T" soar above me, in formation with five others. What followed was a strong wind, which blew me away, and scattered my unit. As I recovered, I saw the humans break their formation, and form into pairs. Why would they send only six, I wondered, and why only after my unit? Then I saw they were only the first wave.

Rapidly, other human machines began diving down at us, tearing through our ranks. There must've been dozens of those infernal machines, maybe hundreds. Too quick for our warriors to catch, too hard for our arrows to pierce. We tried to fight them, but how could we? Our numbers were gradually being thinned, and it was only by sheer luck that I managed to down even one of them. I saw from a distance that the controllers of the machines were exposed. I decided to descend quickly, going up over the top wing. The human at the controls looked up with a gasp. He reached for what I saw was a small piece of metal, and aimed it at me. I immediately knew it was a smaller version of one of their thundersticks, and ducked behind the wing, hearing two shots ring out. Knowing that he would not tolerate my presence long, and would attempt to shake me off, Itook my spear, and quickly lashed out to stab him. As the spear thrusted into his chest, he raised his weapon, and took my eye.

I heard the sound of the retreat horn, and with little other recourse, I flew off, my face bleeding. When we were fighting the ponies, we'd only lost two or three griffons. When we fought the humans, we lost 150. I was the only one who made a kill that day.
- Sgt. Bronzebeak, Third Aerial battalion.
Bretty good but lets here some shit about humans in close combat.
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Brothers everywhere!
raise your hands into the air!
The humans would loose. We aren't superior by any physical measurement. It's our tech that makes us superior.
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But guns are boring. Humans would rape the dogshit out of anyone in close combat.
>humans would lose
>humans would loose
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>forgetting that thumans are up against legions of minotaurs
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>Implying the minotaurs of MLP are that big.
>Implying a boy didn't kill the minotaur in his own labrynth
i disagree.

diamondog? maybe an even match,against a trained,melee infantry soldier at least.

griffon? again,only maybe, due to the possibility of hollow bones despite the lion body,and it would be a tough battle one on one if you were lucky and fit as all fuck.

Minotaur? yeah one minotaur could take out several humans like we were nothing.

and this is me being generous to us against creature inherently made for more physical feats then humans.

i do agree the era is a bit boring to think about. put us with napoleon era tech at least,and things get interesting. further back,rome times even. watch scorpions and crossbows take out the griffons,and maybe spartan like soldiers keeping the Minotaurs at bay through sheer numbers,although i still think a single minotaur with a large weapon would sweep them aside.
>Implying mlp minotaurs AREN'T that big.
>Implying that the boy didn't achieve a feat thought to be impossible
>Implying the minotaur in that story wasn't fed prisoners on a daily basis, I.e human beings
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>modern guns are boring
Guys, guys.

There's been plenty of work done to figure out MLP sizes before.

The average mare is 3.5 feet tall. Iron Will is over two mares high.

Iron Will is a bit short of 8 feet if you count his horns.
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oh god, these are getting annoying quite fast
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Drop a 500m - 1km wide meteor or asteroid on them or, hell, shower them with 10m wide meteors. There, problem solved.
She doesn't control asteroids
She can drop the Sun on them, though

Which brings up the question why anyone would go to war with a nation who's diarchs control the Sun and Moon
It's an illusion created by discord. They are the only ones that can break it, but it is only in equestria. The rest of the world has the sun and moon raise on their own.
I see where your coming from, but those things are probably as heavy as a present-day mini-gun (aka really fucking heavy), so, while it pales in comparison in firepower, when it comes to practicality, the M42A comes out on top for me.

Mind you, ponies can lift heavier weights than us humans, so they might be able to carry it, but, I'm not that sure.
Still doesn't mean the combined power of Celestia and Luna couldn't just grab a meteor and bring to the ground. Hell, Twilight hopped up on Celestia, Luna, and Cadence leveled mountains in her battle with Tirek, imagine what the true wielders of that power can do.
>Project Thor
we're trying to be almost-feasible here m8, we dont even know how universal gravity works on their realm seeing the moon doesn't fall into earth when it stands still, for example.
Okay, lets just change that to a two billionth of a gram grenade. That seems more like it. Or let's just replace the antimatter with ordinary plastic explosive.
>humans would lose
Technology is great, but there was once a time when our greatest tool was a spear--and a flimsy one at that. We fought then and won. I doubt a trained human with adrenaline in their veins would have a hard time against whatever Equestria can throw at them. We have an amazing ability to ignore pain and injuries and fight on like wild animals.

Pic related. Ponies are tops waist height of a human, and Iron Will is about twice a mare. They're not that tall, and I'd be willing to bet there are a few other things that would make them pale in comparison to the minotaurs of legend. Again, a trained human should come out on top.
>pic related
My bad.
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Maybe a Blitzkrieg?
Someone with a good grip on those horns could easily break his neck
Keep this going or I'll insert a live sea urchin up your urethra while you're sleeping.
I would wish someone step on a lego before I wish this upon them. What horrid things had you seen when you were little? How many hugs were you deprived of?
I don't there are adult sea urchins small enough for this to be feasible

At least, not spiny ones
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while i agree he should keep going,i feel he has yet to disappoint to the point of urethra torture via anything,much less a sea urchin.

compromise and use a sea cucumber first as a warning?
It was awful, Anon. Once when I was a child my parents wouldn't let me watch Thomas the Tank Engine while at my nan's house. Those kids in Africa that have to walk fifteen miles every day for water that's just going to make them shit themselves to death anyway don't know how lucky they are.
Hence why horned helmets were always a bad idea.
Okay, first as a warning I'll delicately insert a daffodil into his anus while he's sleeping, then take a series of thought provoking black and white photos of the scene from different angles and tour the world's most prestigious galleries with them, calling them an "impressionistic journey into the nature of human sexuality."
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>Those kids in Africa that have to walk fifteen miles every day for water that's just going to make them shit themselves to death anyway
This thread has convinced me to buy Total War: Attila. Lets hope it's better than Rome 2.
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empires rose and fell during the time i spent in paint making this.
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That's... not the reaction gif I was looking for. +1 like.
>Nine feet tall
>Neck thicker than your torso

Watch out guys, we've got a badass here!
The way I'd attempt to defeat a minotaur would be to strike at his legs. I mean look at them, they're an obvious weak point and a good spear thrust to the calf no cow pun intended would topple him easily thanks to how top heavy he is.
seeing as how you threatened to stick an urchin up someones urethra for needing a break from writing,i think ill pass on fighting you.
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>+1 like
Look at the guy. He's completely top-heavy. His legs are toothpicks and his waist is like a fifth of his shoulder length. A thick neck means shit when someone can have you on the ground in less than a second, and with muscles that size, you won't be able to do much to get them off you.
Continuing from >>21859119

>You leave Celestia alone, exiting the castle and heading to your carriage.
>As you near it, a familiar girl jogs up to you, the little armor she wears clanking along the way.
>”Did it go well, my lord?”
“Don’t worry, Innominate. It…went.” You smile, stepping into your grand vehicle with her in step.
“And you? How were the accommodations?”
>”The guards were pleasant enough. They didn’t talk, but I wouldn’t have enjoyed conversation anyway.”
“You should try to be more sociable.”
>”A general doesn’t need to be sociable; they need to know how to command.”
“And how can you command someone you don’t even know?”
>You share a smile and engage in idle chat the rest of the ride up north.
>Along the way, you catch the occasional group of ponies migrating out, likely to escape conflict.
>They’re dirty creatures.
>The war has sullied their coats and drained their homes, which is why you suppose it be best to get your troops down here soon.
>After making it through the borders, you enter into unclaimed land until making it back to New Earth.
>The second the gates open, you’re met with a bustling little town.
>It warms you to see all the smiling humans running between shops or homes, darting between carriages in the street, and just enjoying life.
>When you were little, your father would tell you many stories of the planet you came from.

(This post limit is killing me)
>Earth. Just Earth. On it, billions of people shared the land, but divided it into countries much like in Equestria.
>He would talk of cities. Huge, monstrous things, filled with people and strange machines called cars.
>The buildings, each a testament to human architecture and their victory over nature, was large enough to scratch the sky itself.
>The Canterlot Castle was the same, though it cheated. It took refuge on a mountain.
>No, according to your father, humans would dig even deeper into the ground to level it all out, *then* build up.
>That’s even more amazing than just putting up on whatever was there before!
>When you first took the crown, you made a vow that before you died, your people would have that.
>Your humans would find home in giant structures that would pierce the clouds, and look out on the lands above everyone else.
>”My lord, we’ve arrived at the castle.”
“Gather your troops and bring them here. I’ve to tell them our hand in the war.”
>”Yes, your highness.”
“Alright Tia, it’s ok. It’s only…marriage.”
>You are Celestia, and you are pacing back and forth in your private quarters.
>Worried, and reasonably so, you mull over what you just said.
>One thousand years.
>You’ve ruled for one thousand years, fighting against all odds, the greatest foes your world had ever seen.
>How then, has everything gone so far south?
>This last century has proved to be just as draining as a millennia ago.
>It all started with those humans.
>One day they just…appeared.
>Nobody knew how, but a small group of these monkey beings found themselves plotted right outside Equestria’s border.
>Having just finished off yet another great threat, you were not willing to take chances.
>After all, what if they were soldiers of Tirek? What if they were some relics of the past like Discord’s chaos seed? A morphed, physical embodiment of negative emotions, maybe.
>You looked into them, searching for any sense of friendship you could work with.
>It was there, but not much. Everything was buried under tons and tons of mixed emotions.
>Hatred and malice you would have trouble finding in the most jaded of ponies.
>Greed and jealousy that would put a grown dragon to shame.
>Anger and ferocity that could poison the gentles of beings and turn them into some mad beast.
>No, you would not take a chance.
>These monkeys proved to be more than a challenge though. With sorry tools made from sticks and stones on the road, they had defended themselves from a battalion of trained guards.
>It was embarrassing.
>You sent more forces to wipe them out, but they came on top every time.
>Their numbers shrunk from the starting hundred thousand, but only in small increments.
>It was when they called it a war that everything changed.
>Those humans took the offensive, and with laughable tools made from ores they found in the north, they charged.
>It was wild and bloody.
>It would take forty humans to take out one of your squads, so they would send eighty.
>They adapted their techniques, and fortified their armaments.
>Losses on both sides were staggering, but you figured you wait them out.
>You had been so wrong.
>No, you couldn’t wait them out.
>The humans were driven by *something*.
>To their last breath and beyond, with both feet planted firmly in a coffin, a human would fight on until their body was in ruin.
>Your guards were absolutely no match for a force like this.
>After several years, the bloodshed was too much, and you and your sister had to call the whole thing off.
>It was then you found out that these brutes had actually developed a government.
>Both people and military were led by one man. A self-dubbed king named Incognito.
>He was gruff, and when in the room made you feel nervous. He exuded an aura of power and pride that filled his men with vigor.
>Despite being the very monster that had ordered such unspeakable things done in the name of “human advancement”, he was quite reasonable.
>You agreed to simple terms, and the humans were out of your hair until now.
>Such a display made Equestria look weak.
>You were worried about the fallout from that war, and you were right to be.
>Come last year, the three countries you would least want to interact with teamed and attacked.
>Needless to say, it went about as well as your campaign against the humans.
>Now here you are, pacing and sweating over a marriage proposal made in desperation to the people that had embarrassed you so completely it would start a war seventy years later.
>King Anonymous is much like his father in many ways, and yet vastly different.
>In or out of his kingly garb, you can feel a sense of pride that mirrors Incognito, and a smoldering hate you would fear to see unleashed.
>It really is a good thing you’re getting married.
>The humans are surely more formidable than they were years ago, and they hold a most favorable position. Abundant resources won from the elk and frost giants fuel their economy.
>Now you can share in that wealth, that protection, and even gain more land for your ponies to thrive in.
>Yes, this was the best course of action.
>You look out over a monstrous crowd filled with civilians and soldiers alike. The torches in the moonlight illuminate them well enough that from your high ground on a stage, their faces are clear as day.
>You, King Anonymous, must now deliver a pretty little speech to fire them up and ready them for war.
>Innominate stands by your side, having added to the little armor she once war, and now in a full suit.
>You’ve dressed up yourself, donning the battle crown and a jewel-encrusted sword gifted to you by your father, which had been gifted to him by the elk after he conquered them and pushed them out of the north.
“Do you know what I see before me? I see my friends. I see my family. I see my brothers and sisters in arms, and know that I can trust my life to each and every one of you. This is what it means to be human. No matter our differences, we are all undeniably bonded by our humanity. Against any force that ever was, or ever will be, we have and will stand united, for there is no greater or nobler purpose than fighting for those who would risk their life for you. There is no being in this world or the next that will be more willing to stand for your rights than the man by your side.”
>The crowd claps and cheers at your words.
“Now I ask you to put that bond under the fire once more. To the south, our Equestrian neighbors fight. No, to call it a fight would be insulting. They are barely managing to hold off a slaughter! The might of three kingdoms pound down on them this very second!”
>This gets a mixed response. There are definite gasps, and yet a few more cheers.
“The ponies, try as they might, are helpless against these monsters. Monsters from legend! Griffons, minotaurs, and diamond dogs alike, threaten to undo Equestria! They threaten to slaughter her citizens, destroy their homes, and blacken the ground with their blood!”
“Can we let this continue? This senseless massacre goes against everything I was raised to believe. I believe that the strong should exist to protect the weak, so that all may live happily, so that all may prosper, and all may live a fulfilling life. The Equestrians are weak, and yet these brutes terrorize them. Their strong rape and murder the weak, and disgrace the gods themselves!”
>No cheers now. There is only silence, and that’s perfect. You have them hanging on your words.
“We humans are strong. It not our obligation, but our duty to stop this madness. The actions the belligerent nations of Griffonia, the Canis Lands, and the Taurus Empire, are affronts to the gods! They spit in the face of all that you and I have been raised to believe, and it must be stopped! Equestria’s fate lies in our hands, and by our hands, we will decimate the opposition. For our beliefs. For our families. For New Earth, and for Equestria!”
>You raise your sword high, the gems sparkling in the torchlight, and the humans before you erupt into mad screams and applause.
>Soldiers pump their blades, hollering, and civilians clap and whistle.
>”And for your fiancé?” Innominate smiles and jabs your side.
>You smile back and shrug, then return your gaze to your subjects, and puff your chest out once more.
“Ready yourselves! We march at dawn!”
And that's all I got for now.
So continuing on from this thought process, what are your opinions on satyr soldiers in the human armies? The way I'm imagining it is that in Anon's society a satyr is considered of higher standing than it's non-human parent, but below that of a human half-sibling.

So for example if a human lord had satyr child with a pony or griffon from an affluent merchant family, that child would be considered of higher status than its non-human parent thanks to its human blood, but it could never inherit its fathers land's and titles and would be considered lower in the feudal hierarchy than its pure human half-sibling, even if it was older.

That's not to say satyrs are necessarily considered second class citizens. They're renowned for their endurance and quick reflexes, and make ideal light infantry in service to their lord, with some even being knighted after proving themselves on the battlefield.

Non-humans in Anon's land also would have identical legal rights as their human counterparts. Killing a satyr, griffon or pony etc, would hold the same punishment as the murder of a human.


The way I'm imagining the history of Anon's kingdom going is sort of like this.

>About 1,500 - 2,000 years ago the first humans entered Equestria, numbering in the low thousands.
>After several decades their numbers had grown considerably and they now resided as citizens within many nations.
>After years of growing tensions with the native species, the humans were cast out from their homes and eventually settled in the area now ruled by Anon.
>Through many centuries they grew and expanded their borders northwards and colonised much land that was previously considered too inhospitable to settle, unearthing vast mineral wealth in the form of gold and silver.
>Through years of trading, the humans grew prosperous and built many great cities and fortifications to protect their lands, making special effort to ensure that the mountains on the southern borders were made almost impassable to hostile forces.
>As trade flourished many immigrants of various species settled in the human lands seeking a better life than that which they'd left behind.
>Though distrust was rampant, cross-breeding inevitably occurred and over time a new race of half-breeds emerged.
>Over the centuries the satyr population has grown and they now make up the single largest minority in Anon's realm.
>Though mixing of the species was common now, especially among the lower classes, the noble houses always sought to preserve their pure human ancestry.
>Fast forward to the first year of Anon's reign and he's fighting a civil war against an alliance of lords that seek to depose him in place of his younger brother.
>Anon defeats the rebellion and rules for 10 years unopposed.
>Present day, Celestia calls for his aid.

Too edgy perhaps?

I've been playing too much Crusader kings 2.

Its good
dude, this is fucking amazing, you must save this in a pastebin for the future to enjoy

and maybe some animations
It's nothing to do with speed but rather reach. I've done HEMA for a few years now, and while I'm not that great and certainly no expert, in my experience a man with a spear and shield can beat an otherwise superior opponent with startling ease if he knows what he's doing.

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My nigga.

Do you praise the Zun?
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Why are people assuming satyrs can happen
Crossbreeds obviously don't work with any other species in Equestria, why would humans be any different?
Lately I've been mostly playing the Game of Thrones mod. I just love capturing that bastard Joffrey and killing him in trial by combat, then going and making yet another baby with Daenerys.

Because humans are the most virile species in mythology.
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Because they're cute and I like the idea of them charging into battle alongside their human counterparts. Plus there's not much point to marrying Celestia if you can't produce an heir.
Explain bat ponies then.
.....Explain Griffins then. After all, they are just the bastard child of an eagle and a lion.
Donut steel
I don't believe the mythological creature is supposed to be a halfbreed, just an already existing animal that happens to have those traits
Ancient people weren't very original with their mythological beasts
>I don't believe the mythological creature is supposed to be a halfbreed

okay, Minotaurs.
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>Crossbreeds obviously don't work with any other species in Equestria

>What are Griffins and Minotaurs
I think he was joking.
wouldn't celestia outlive any hier? infact this is a great deal for her, 100 years from now she's queen of the humans.
You're saying that like we're not going to impregnate her and produce an immortal, sartyr child.Or twenty

Then we make plans for regency in the form of our children.
You got me there
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A dog with a stick versus a tank, artillery and ground forces?
Anti Aircraft Artillery exists for a reason. Tanks also have mounted MGs which would be just as effective.
Except that unless Anon changes the laws of succession her species disqualifies her from inheriting Anon's lordship. Though that does raise the question of if Anon and Celestia's child would be considered the rightful heir by the lords after Anon's death. Of course if something were to happen to both Celestia and Luna that means Anon would become sole ruler of both Equestria and his own lands.

I don't know, I really don't have it ironed out. All I know is that I want satyrs to be a thing.
You're saying that like humans would allow themselves to be ruled by a non-human
At the most, they'd become an autonomous province within Equestria
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actually come to think of it, celestia would be queen-consort so the crown would pass to our children as soon as we died.
>“Do you know what I see before me? I see my friends. I see my family. I see my brothers and sisters in arms, and know that I can trust my life to each and every one of you. This is what it means to be human. No matter our differences, we are all undeniably bonded by our humanity. Against any force that ever was, or ever will be, we have and will stand united, for there is no greater or nobler purpose than fighting for those who would risk their life for you. There is no being in this world or the next that will be more willing to stand for your rights than the man by your side.”

I think I recognise some of this speech from Arn - The Knight Templar, right?
I've never seen that movie, but I won't lie; a few of the lines were inspired from other speeches.
It's not half bad in my opinion.




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>Diamond Dogs
I'm always in the mood for a good knight flick. Thanks.
>Open movie in new tab
>Scroll down to comment section out of habit
Fuck me. Well, there goes the movie.
It's still worth a watch I'd say.
Fallout equestria.
The thing your talking about is fallout equestria
Celly is my favorite nickname for her.
I think i recognize a few things from HFY threads over in tg, am I right?
there havent been many HFY threads in tg for a long while now, i miss them
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>Has DelGado in Equestria
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I would pay money for that shit.
Its Hoss
Bumping for more green.
“When celestia approached me,i had not expected her to ask for my help with war. Being the only human,i had no idea where she had heard the,admittedly,true rumors of human excellence in war. Having nothing better to do,i accepted.

I first started with taking in account equestrias current technology level and what I could do to raise it.

It was pitiful. Countries of peace have no sense for war nor violence,and while both gunpowder and even cannons existed within equestria,they had yet to implement them. Id was a simple matter to start,magic helping spew out what was needed much faster then ordinary industry could.

Within a month equestria was armed much better,while their lack of hands made rifled muskets quite a different in use,requiring a larger trigger and a standing rod for it to be placed upon,they still made excellent support troops,what with aerodynamic bullets and rifling being easy enough to implement.

While these helped even the odds,i did not settle there, focusing on what was needed for what enemy.

None of the three empires invading equestria matched equestrias numbers;on their own. Together,they had nearly a 4:1 advantage,a terrible thing against a herd species physically weaker then any of their opponents. Magic helped,but not enough,even military unicorns were not anything more then versatile troops,few unicorns being able to dish out enough magic to take on even a single squad by themselves.
With this in mind,i decided trying to use magic as anything but support would simply not work.
The griffons were a strong,fierce race,able to fly,giving them reign of the skies. We had pegasi,but they stood little match unless they had overwhelming numbers,their ability to control the weather doing much more to ground forces,and anything big requiring the focus of a large amount of them. The griffons did,however,suffer from similar disadvantages as the pegasi. They did not carry shields,nor wear heavy armor,as this would make flying difficult. This,lead me to the introduction of the scorpion,a roman dart thrower. Given its mounted position,it would be a viable option for ponies. With this,,and grape shot,mounted upon and inside the decks of equestrias air ships, as-well as upon the ground to fire into the sky, would even the odds,giving them little room to dodge even within the air,being able to take out hordes of enemies in single volleys,while their charging tactics and lack of ranged troops,something never yet a problem, would offer them little way to counter or get close enough to take out the weapons,without substantial losses.
The minotaurs were actually quite an easy feat, while they wore tough armor and preferred two handed weapons they could deal massive damage with, they had never faced the penetrating power of gunpowder weaponry. Again,range would be the key,raining down fire upon their charging forces with cannons,rifles,mortars,catapults,ballistas,whatever we had managed to field against them. yet again the key was their dependence on melee, bringing their numbers down by a staggering amount to the point they could never hope to win when they finally meet you in melee. Their armor would make trying to break them with spears nearly useless, which meant equestria main weapon,the spear, was useless in the one theater a melee weapon might be the most needed. You couldn't expect everyone to be able to simply aim for the weak spots,and had trouble wielding war hammers and the like. The only real option I could think of was to arm unicorn squads with such tools as armor breakers,and to use earth ponies to try and trip the Small legged minotaurs. A crude solution,a unicorns telekinesis not providing as much force,but tests showed it could be enough,sometimes a few hits being necessary.

Now,diamond dogs were the real problem. True,once we found a tunnel entrance or network,we could flood it,pour boiling oil down it,or any number of solutions,but the biggest problem was finding them before they ambushed you,from any place they pleased. They were quite fast diggers,easily able to dig smaller,double file,even triple file tunnels straight under our lines within half an hour,less even. While not overly more powerful physically then a pony,at least compared to their allies,they numbed more by quite a bit. Yes,the outcome of land battle would most likely be in stopping diamond dog ambushes before they could take out strategic equipment and shatter formations. But how? The answer was quite simple actually.
They were greedy. Greedy and not the brightest. Some observations revealed they followed the gems,so long as it got them to their destination,they would dig along the route that would offer them the most plunder along the way. This made ambushing THEM actually quite easy,once we discovered a spell that was made to find such caches of gems. The last problem was,of course, during battle,when even they gave up such greed for prey. The answer actually,was simple logic; behind or within you troops at the most strategic location. Did I mention they were not quite the brightest? By simple digging access tunnels and traps ourselves,we should be able to turn their ambushes against them,having boiling oil and other such things ready to pour into their tunnels the moment they pop up. It was not the most solid plan,but it stood far better chance of working then hoping to break an ambush as it popped up.

As equestria churns into a machine of war,i can only wait and see how things play out,adapting as I learn my enemies and they learn of us.”

-end of Entry One.
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tadaaa~! here's your order, your sinful highness!

i might make a greentext about this.
>daddy offered me an aeronautics company that's more in debt than Canterlot's house of ministers itself for Christmas
>yes we have christmas
>he said
"Diamond, you know, trade and finance is a very complex world, I've been in this domain since I was a colt. You might not understand all the details of my job but it's not just math. if it were all about math, there would be no economy as we know it, there would be zero risks. as my boss said, it's not his brain that got him there. So here's this deal, instead of a new computer I'm offering you this corporation, all investors turned back and it's close to bankruptcy. You might be one of the youngest CEO of Equestria now, for how long... I wonder, I'm curious about how you, would manage it."
>a paper that says "Merlod Industries. CEO: Diamond T. Richardson"

>so I was like, "okay" not knowing what it was all about
>the news about the conflicts everywhere in the world being all scary, and all the funds goes to the royal army we can't expect anything to go better.
>So I visited the company, lot of stallions working in front of the gate with signs
>They were engineers, workers, designers fearing for their job
>"Merlod Industries will not give up!" "Death to banksters" "Celestia killed us" "Save our jobs not the banks!"
>The driver told me we have to go, it's dangerous!
>Since I'm the boss now, I got out of the car and went in
>There's nothing to fear, if they care for their job that much...
>Jump on a pile of crates
"Hello, gentlemen! I'm Diamond Tiara, your new boss!"
>They all stared at me for a minute in silence
"And, er, what are you guys doing here? It's a bit cold and we've got things to do, no?"
>Someone on the crowd went like "A filly? Is that a fucking joke?"
"Wait it was a serious question! I... Okay let's re-open this factory and you all guys go back to what you were doing usually, okay?"
no, stop
You know, for all this discussion of king anon and swords and grand battles, I see little about anon being some sort of war god himself. Like he landed in equestria with a pair of pistols and now it's just an action movie
>None of the three empires invading equestria matched equestrias numbers;on their own. Together,they had nearly a 4:1 advantage

<1+<1+<1 > 1+1+1
writefag plz
Here we go >>21864408
>Morning came and went.
>You had raised the sun, as is your job as Princess Celestia, and went about the day like normal.
>Handle day court for a bit and listen to the, now a massive amount, of complaints your ponies have.
>After that, meet up with your war leaders for lunch and discuss how badly you’re losing.
>Take the afternoon to yourself, then let Luna take over for night while you have another meeting during dinner.
>As is life.
>You lay down to sleep, hoping to high heavens that tomorrow will be different.
>Some form of good news would be nice.
>You’d even take mediocre news.
>Sleep would calm your nerves.
>Sleep would…you can’t sleep with all that racket outside.
>It’s a lot of stomping, and clanking metal.
>The sound grows louder, like an army approaching.
>You burst from your bed.
“They’re here!”
>Darting across the room, hovering pieces of your armor over and attaching them, you leap out the window and soar into the black sky, ready to dish out some Equestrian justice to those filthy birds, mangy curs, and miserable bulls.
>Those…are not the enemy.
>Your wings falter when you realize what is before you, but you save the fall and act like lowering was your plan all along.
>You were expecting a little aid from the humans of course, but this is…
>Huge men, dressed head to toe in armor you didn’t think any smith would have the skill to craft, pumped their fists and blades into the air, chanting away.
>They lined the streets. Wall to wall of buildings, through every twist and turn, every side street and avenue, as far as you could see even when in the air.
>Good god…
>”An eye for an eye. Here’s your aid, now we require housing.”
>The crowd parts, making way for Anonymous and that girl he came with yesterday.
>His smile is assuring, but that woman…she glares at you as if you had spit in her face.
“King Anonymous, I didn’t expect this much from you.”
>”Right, so now I know not to depend on you if we ever get in a fight.” The woman states.
>”Come now, Innominate. I’m sure dedication is a uniquely human trait.”
“Actually we ponies—“ you begin to speak, but are cut off by the king.
>”Innominate, go with Celestia and discuss whatever it is you women discuss. I’ll head out to the camps with the men.”
>She nods and stands there as the tremor-causing force marches out of the city.
>You gesture for her to come in, going yourself as the guards open the doors to said castle.
>She follows, and you can feel her eyes still on you.
“So, you’re Innominate? I’m Princess Celestia.”
>”I know who you are.”
“Right. Well if you’d just come this way, I can—“
>”I’m already following you. Just go.”
>Anon trusted you to her, so she can’t be all bad.
>You just have to work around that tough exterior is all.
>…Anon? Anonymous.
>You’re about halfway to your destination before you realize you were going to your bedroom on autopilot.
>A hard right fixes that. You hold your chin high, attempting to look calm and regal as to imply it was just according to your keikaku [TL’s Note: “Keikaku” means “plan”].
>Ah, there we are. The war room you met with Anon in yesterday.
“Come right in.”
>You step aside to let her enter first, but the lady seems more forceful than you though.
>She grabs your collar and pushes you in, kicking the door shut behind her.
>You try to gain traction, but the tile floor is useless to you, and she shoves you into the table, leaning down and locking eyes.
>”Listen here, you pretty pampered bitch.” You can feel the chill in her eyes even through the glasses.
>”I’ve known Anon since he needed a diaper. We’ve been together through thick and thin and as many conflicts as ponies live under your rule. He and I are closer than the jizz-glued pages of your favorite Playcolt.”
>Who glues the pages shut?
>”By all accounts, I should be the one wearing the ring, but you had the advantage of a war and that damned scent of desperation men seem to love. I swear by the gods, if I ever hear about you mistreating him, you’ll wish you’d lost this war.”
>You nod, and she lets up off you.
>This is going to be a successful meeting…
>You are Anon enjoying some campfire fun with your soldiers.
“Eat well and sleep like the dead. We won’t have use of these coffins much longer since we’ll be filling them with the mutts!”
>Your men cheer, smashing glasses together and spilling their beer.
>Let them drink. They’ve long days ahead of them.
>So do you, what with the marriage thing.
>Aw crap, you still need to find a ring.
>Then there’s the whole actually deciding what goes where.
>Celestia’s age didn’t slip your mind.
>The broad has lived this long, who’s to say she won’t outlast you?
>You’ll ensure New Earth stays in the hands of humans. Somehow.
>”Oi Kingy, I didn’t know your fiancé was such a babe!” A drunken slur flies at you.
“Oh ho, you think so? Hell, take her man.”
>”I call first dibs!”
>”No, I do!”
>”No fair, you can’t call dibs like that!”
>”Fight me for it!”
>Small brawls form around the camp, only to end in the men falling over each other and laughing giddily, as more mugs find their way to their hands.
>It must be midnight by now, and the soldiers that haven’t gone off to sleep stumble about in a haze.
>Your general hasn’t returned.
>She can handle herself.
>You’d still like to wait up for her though.
>She’d stay awake until you got back.
>By lantern light, you polish your wears in wait.
>Having gone over your crown at least a hundred times, it sparkles like a ball of light in itself.
>Your sword reflects your face at this point, and your armor gleams just as bright.
>You hated to wear dirty armor.
>Filth was below a king.
>Besides, you had an example to set.
>As a king, you must be something your men aspire to be.
>You would be clean, and your armor would shine.
>You would be brave, and you would lead any assault.
>You would be strong, and your body would rival the gods.
>In return for all your effort, your men pushed themselves even harder.
>Their presence brought out the best in you, and your example brought out the best in them.
>It’s an important bond to share with your comrades.
>A bond you wouldn’t trade for anything.
>A thousand kingdoms would see their end by your hand before you would forsake your people.
>You trusted them absolutely, and they put the same faith in you.
>Even still, you can feel you’re duller than your father.
>Now that’s something to aspire to be.
>Your whole life you’ve chased his image, trying to be more like him.
>Like the man who saved humanity from extinction and told the most powerful empire in the world to fuck right the fuck off.
>Ha. Twenty years and he’s still showing you up.

That'll do for now.
Ok, physics fags get in here.

I challenge you to think of a workable way for Equestria to produce a nuclear bomb. With access to only technology displayed in the show and anything that could be derived from that. Magic can also factor in, but only in production and only if you can clearly explain the mechanism for it's use, i.e not "use magic to enrich it" but "use magic to power a centrifuge that would..."

Genuinely interested to see if /mlp/ can build a nuke.
Listen, I've played call of duty. I think I know nukes well.
There's a pony with a nuclear hazard cutie mark and a hazmat suit in one episode.
You do know that applies to Nuclear, Chemical, and Biological safety, right?
Sorry celestia, but Gryphon females are fun and agressive in bed and the minotaur women have some really good tits.

Also, nuclear hazard and hazmat suit have nothing to do with nuclear weapon production: they just indicate some awareness of radiation and its effects.
A bullet is a rock thrown from a sling.
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Friendship is Ma Deuce.
>taking the small penis metaphor literally
Explain cannons and tanks, then.
>Why are people assuming satyrs can happen
My issue is that a human breeding with a horse won't make a satyr.
Wouldn't they be Centaurs, I think satyr's are goats.
Those are both correct. The idiots who have satyr children don't ever deserve a read.
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>"Are you sure you're ready, Anon?"
>The entire combined enemy force lies before you, their battle lines formed
>Only you stand against them
>You stub out your joint
lol, time 2 rek sum n00bz
>With that, you sprint off toward the enemy army, spinning and jumping as you go
>Your intervention fires off, blood spraying from distant figures
get gud, scrubz
>The army lets loose a battlecry and charge you, their feet shaking the earth as countless legions swarm toward you
>You throw a knife into a huge crowd, and score a kill
>A minotaur captain leads the charge, and you stare at him, focussing your power
1v1 me rust
>There's a lurch, and the captain looks around in confusion, the screaming hordes replaced with a strange metal structure in a desolate desert
>Before he can get his bearings, you jump off the to of the metal tower, spinning and screaming as you fall
nigger faggot cunt!
>You let loose a single shot that sprays his brain out the back of his skull
>As you hit the ground, reality reasserts itself
doritos and dew, give me strength!
>The hordes are still moving toward you, and you quickly bring the rifle to your eye before firing a shot that sends three advancing griffons flying backward
oh bby a triple!
>With that, you have killed exactly seven enemies
>You tip your fedora at the army, who are only a hundred metres or so away
prepair 2 b enlightined!
>Pulling out a small laptop, you press a couple of buttons, and wait as the army closes in on you
>A high ranking griffon yells out "Enemy harriers, inbound!", then looks confused at his involuntary outburst
>Their front line is only twenty metres away when a screaming craft flies overhead, the ground below it peppered moments later with explosions
>A second craft follows suit, and the enemy's charge halts under the terrifyingly alien craft
>There are shouts of pain from soldiers caught on the edge of the blast, cries for mercy
>But as a harrier reels round you whisper something
i have no merci

>The harrier blasts withering lines of gunfire into the enemy ranks, and as it does so you pull out your laptop again
>A few seconds later, another terrible machine enters the fray, raining hell on the confused enemy, it's screaming, whirling blades sending the soldiers into a hasty retreat, and then into a full rout
>They've all but given up on killing you, now trying only to save their own lives
>After half a minute, the harrier flies off, followed shortly by the helicopter
>Sprinting toward the enemy, you drop your intervention, pulling out a handgun and knife
>You lunge at an enemy who's about forty metres away, closing the distance in a second as you stab him in the back
marathon lightweight commando; the power of three propel me!
>You repeat this a few times, practically teleporting from enemy to enemy as you stab them
i can dance all day, bitches!
>Eventually, you stop
>You're tired of fighting
>It's your chance to solve this, to save Equestria
>You pull out a small handheld device, and stare sadly at it
>A single tear drops from your eye
i cry every time
>With that you hit the button and, moments later, a brilliant whiteness engulfs you


>The light faded, taking with it the entire armed forces of Equestria's enemies
>Equestia was free to conquer the world, bringing peace and prosperity, throwing the entire planet into a new golden age
>Over time, once the radiation had cleared, the battlefield was left fallow
>Eventually, beautiful flowers reclaimed the land, nature's inevitable advance allowed in memory of the man who had fallen there, giving his life that this new age golden age could be accomplished
>And in the centre of this new garden, this paradise, stands a simple statue
>A stoney rendition of a man, mid way through tipping his fedora, a brass plaque on the pedestal eternal testament to one man
>It reads, in simple text:
Anon saver of pones
Jesus Christ why does the ending actually make me a bit sad
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Pastebin for story? I like where this is going...
I like to think the result depends on the mother. A human mother births a satyr and a pone mother births a centaur.
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bumpity bump
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>mfw someone makes the best greentext ever off my post

i am love you
The saddest thing about this story is that it is one away from trips
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>stop liking what i dislike
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an-an-an-an-an an-onymous
an-an-an-an-an an-onymous
He's got an email from Celestia that sed:

Celestia's fiance(7x)
griffons and monsters
Let's do the war story again >>21872205

>The gates of Canterlot.
>This is where your army had set up camp.
>Now you all stand ready to move.
>Most of you.
>You wipe the tiredness from your eyes and contain a yawn.
>Not even moving yet and you were beat.
>Innominate had not come back last night, so you ended up not getting any sleep.
>You would see her now though, and with the other royals as well.
>Tia had…
>Celestia had said that she wanted to move on the offensive as soon as possible, so taking back the land you had already lost was crucial.
>You stand there, doing more waiting than you feel a king should have to, and begin to drift off to sleep.
>No no, must stay awake for the men.
>If their leader sleeps, what will they think?
>You need something to occupy your mind.
>Something like…oh, they would do fine.
>Through a sleepy curtain, you spot the blurry forms of your general and the princesses.
“Morning, ladies. I trust you’re all suited up and ready to move out.”
>”Move out?” Celestia cocks her head.
You raise your eyebrows. “Well of course. Innominate, we *were* going to move out today, correct?”
>”That’s the thing. It turns out Equestrian leaders are quite cowardly and don’t actually lead their troops.” She adjusts her glasses and shoots a sideways glance at the offended looking royalty.
>The blue one, Luna you believe, huffs. ”We hath stated it is not a matter of cowardice. Tis simply—“
“What is this, a Shakespeare reenactment?”
>She trades her annoyed face for one of confusion. “A what? Sister, does he mean to insult us?”
>”Of course not.”
“Maybe a little.”
>The blue mare snarls and takes a wild step forward.
>Before you can blink, a hefty white wing finds its way ahead of her.
>The princess stops instantly. You can see a hint of fear in her eyes when she breaks contact.
>Only then do you take in your surroundings as well and see that Innominate has her blade drawn and aimed directly at Luna.
>One extra step and that would have…good reflexes, Celestia.
>You chuckle and place your hand on hers, lowering the sword.
“Come now, we’re all friends here.”
>”Some soon to be family,” Celestia smiles awkwardly.
>You hear a sneer to your side as Innominate storms off, screaming at the men about how a bunch of girlish ponies better not show them up.
>Silence reigns.
>The three of you look to one another, before nodding and going off your separate ways.
>From behind Celestia calls out to you. “Come home in one piece.”
“Aren’t there a few thousand other people you should be saying that to?” you holler back before disappearing into the crowd.
>Emerging at the front, you grab onto a saddle and hoist yourself up onto the massive white wolf serving as your steed.
>These Great Wolves were wonderful transportation. Strong, hardy, and fast.
>You knew that back on Earth, warriors would ride on horseback into battle.
>It always amused you to think of that when bored.
>“Today we taste blood! Forward march!”
>”My lord, look! The base of the mountain!”
>Turning your gaze from the winding mountain-side path down to the ground, you look out over the edge and find a fairly large force of, judging from their movement and formations—and the horns on their heads—are minotaurs.
>”Change of plan you pansies! They’ve chosen to take the fight to us. Give ‘em hell for it!”
“Alright Fiddo, it’s num nums time!”
>The wolf snarls and steps off the edge of the mountain, sliding down the steep rock.
>”Archers! Eyes in the air!”
>Innominate and any soldier without a bow charges down the mountain with you.
>The assault catches the bulls by surprise, and they retreat enough to make room for your landing.
>Detaching a spear from the saddle, you raise it underarm and charge.
>Your scream outdoes those of the bulls that are unlucky enough to find themselves on your rod.
>You pull out and ram into the next one, and the next one after that.
>Your armies mix, the silver of theirs and blue-gold of yours turn the green grass crimson with powerful blows.
>Sparks fly as metal crashes against metal.
>You leap off your wolf, grabbing your shield, and land on the shoulders of one of the enemy.
>Using the height, you ram your spear into the unsuspecting faces of the minotaurs.
>Your ride quickly becomes upset and begins swatting at you.
>At some point, the long spear snaps in the middle, and you ditch it.
>Grabbing the sword from your hip, you leap down from the minotaur.
>Your eyes meet, his filled with rage, yours with mad excitement, and you draw the blade, slicing his head clean off its gargantuan body.
>Your senses, once dulled by a heavy, sleepy veil, are now sharp as a knife.
>The world is alive. The scent of blood fills your nose, and everything from hooves on dirt to swords in air echo in your ear.
>The images are all sharper. You can make out every individual hair on the beasts around you.
>Spinning, you raise your shield and stop a mighty hammer dead in its tracks.
>You stab at the bull, and pull out into another turn, slicing open the gut of a beast that crawled up your tail.
>Dancing around the battlefield, you leave a trail of fallen bulls in your path.
>Just as you lunge for your newest victim, a shadow engulfs you, and you dive out from under it.
>A griffon falls just where you were about to land—an arrow lodged firmly between its eyes.
>You look up and see flocks of griffons being knocked out of the air like flies as hundreds of gleaming streaks fire off from the mountain.
>Woop, getting careless there, Anon.
>You sidestep, narrowly avoiding an ax, and bump into another foe.
>It grabs you by the head and lifts your frail body from the ground.
>With relative ease, it squeezes your head in its palm.
>You can hear the metal in your crown denting as the minotaur from earlier readies its ax once more.
>You grab onto the fingers of your captor and use them to pull yourself up, curling around its hand just as that beast swings its blade.
>The ax cuts deep into your captor’s gut, and he lets go.
>You fall and roll away from a hoof attempting to cave your skull in.
>With one swipe of your blade, the thing comes clean off, and the ax-wielder falls.
>In a rage, you slam your foot down into its face.
>Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp.
>When you think it’s had enough, you turn back to the rest of the sword-hungry beasts.
>You would feed them your steel.
>”Dear Sister…I…”
“I see it too, Luna,” you say as Celestia.
>From the mountain edge, you both look over the field.
>The humans beside you, archers as they were called, make use of strange flying objects that quickly dispatch any griffon making it within a hundred yards of the city.
>The birds drop like stones. Not even their fancy aerial maneuvers save them from the “Arrows”.
>Down on the ground, minotaurs find themselves crushed by their falling feathered friends. The ones unlucky enough to survive the aerial bombardment are quickly done in by human steel.
>In all your years, you’d never bared witness to a fight with humans.
>This is something else.
>The battles you’d been a part of were nothing like this.
>This…this is what you were sending your ponies into all those years ago.
>These humans fight as if trained from birth with the sole purpose of killing.
>You manage to spot Anonymous in the fray.
>There’s something to the way he moves. It’s almost like he’s dancing down there, weaving in between minotaurs and cutting them down like flimsy pieces of paper.
>He is a fire in their forest. A mad, wild fire that leaves no survivors.
>His crown does poorly to cover his face, and you can see something clearly as day that chills you down to your core.
>”A smile…”
>You nod, noting the curve of his lips.
>The teeth, those of a predator, on full display.
>The wild look in his eye.
>Had you not known what a human was, you would mistake them for demons right now.
>They are hell unleashed.
>”Tia, we have come to the conclusion that we need no longer worry with our stance in the war.”
“I agree…”

Whole story can be found at http://pastebin.com/U79sgGbF
The pastebin is mine from a different thread, so excuse the name.
pls sir, can i have more?
ponies have bows...
Not in this story they don't.
Wouldn't it be necessary to also take Luna as a wife? They both hold equal sovereignty over the land, so simply marrying one wouldn't mean anything. You would need to take both.

It would be an interesting twist to, after the eventual victory, take your Army to Canterlot. When Celestia and Luna greet you, go inside the castle,, and demand that Luna also surrender herself, or you will take Canterlot right there. Your army is already present, so they will have no where to run.
So from a tactical standpoint, wouldn't it be wiser for Anon's forces not to attack the enemy head on, but rather to assault their supply lines and cities? Remember that most medieval battles were sieges and that pitched open battle was comparatively rare. Taking enemy cities and fortifications was the way wars were won back then, and openly confronting an enemy force in the field would usually be a last resort unless you were almost certain you could beat them.

Of course that raises the point that if you had a significant advantage over the enemy then the enemy would simply refuse to meet you in battle, and instead fight a guerilla war with you and try to win by attrition.
That's more or less a style choice. I don't think that our writefag is really concerned about the combat side, but is more focused on the Celestia/Anon relationship.
The way I see it, Humans are the superior fighting species. They could hold up and stay behind walls, but they were already marching and in a cavalry vs infantry battle, cavalry usually wins, since the Minatours didn't have any spears or lances.
That's good, because that's exactly what I want to see since there seem to have been so many "war in Equestria" stories lately.
So when does Celestia sing this?


I'm especially interested in the part about her getting taken roughly and forcefully by Anon.
>They both hold equal sovereignty over the land, so simply marrying one wouldn't mean anything.
>implying ponies give a shit about Luna
nah man, Marrying one of them would still politically mean half of the kingdom, or maybe they hold a rule that if one marries, she becomes queen, the couple effectively putting the princess in second place
Or why not just march into the throne room, wink and say "You've been duped, baby. Now hand over the crowns to Equestria or I'll order my men to put the city to the torch." Then Anon could rule Both Equestria and his own kingdom alone an uncontested with both Celestia and Luna as his concubines while he fathers many pure-blooded sons with his childhood sweetheart.
Baaaaad, that would be an insult to the gods. Back then, someone word was something not to be broken, or else they would lose all honor, and a king that loses his honor isn't a king for long.
Maybe Innominate could marry Blueblood also.
Something tells me she's a bit of a casual that wouldn't consent to a horse dicking.
besides, Celestia gave herself up, but Luna seems to be the kind of woman that, if you forced to marry you, she'd rather kill you in your sleep before bearing a heir.
And it's not like they couldn't make it look like a suicide or blame someone else you know
>bearing a heir.
Speaking of an heir, I'm assuming Urchin is intending for humans and ponies to be able to actually reproduce together, right? Otherwise what's the point of marrying Celestia if you'd have to take a second, human wife in order to have a kid.
Ah, then we offer her to the Griffins or the diamond dogs once we crush them to seal their loyalty.
Pretty sure she'd only settle for a human dick.
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>strong female warrior types getting raped.
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my niggas
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>You will never conquer Equestria and take the princesses as trophy wives of your conquest.
"And If I refuse?"
>"Then equestria will be lost."
>"Are you mocking me!?"
"What If I am?"
>"H-How dare you Mock me and my ponies!"
"Is this not a joke? You Who ignored my plea for help when the dragons came and sacked our capital."
>"I did all tha-"
"No, If you did all that you could we would not be well versed in warfare, So no Celestia we will not Stand with you but against you."
>"Y-You know not of what you are doing! You're Sentencing millions of foals, colts, stallion alike to death"
"Then I will Let them be consumed by the flames of war, Just like you let millions of us burn in the dragons fire"

>5 days later New Eden Declared war on Equestria to secure Its place on The triple alliance
You're real Satan, aren't you?
Comstock plz
>5 days later New Eden Declared war on Equestria
>New Eden
Don't you mean Columbia?
"The Lord forgives everything, but I am just the prophet...so I don't have to"
>Not declaring war on literally everybody.
Do you even ISIS tactics.
Sounds like The Hobbit trilogy.
Pretty sure she'd only settle for Anon dick. Childhood friends never have a good end.
Deus vult.
Welp Can't argue with those numerals

"And If I refuse?"
>"Then equestria will be lost."
>"Are you mocking me!?"
"What If I am?"
>"H-How dare you Mock me and my ponies!"
"Is this not a joke? You Who ignored my plea for help when the dragons came and sacked our capital."
>"I did all tha-"
"No, If you did all that you could we would not be well versed in warfare, So no Celestia we will not Stand with you but against you."
>"Y-You know not of what you are doing! You're Sentencing millions of foals, colts, stallion alike to death"
"Then I will Let them be consumed by the flames of war, Just like you let millions of us burn in the dragons fire"

>5 days later New Columbia Declared war on Equestria to secure Its place on The triple alliance
Well this was supposed to be a prompt since I can't write shit, But I'll give it a try
>When the other three are tired from war, fuck them up too.
>You will never march on the Griffon capitol with an army of thousands after having slaughtered their forces in the field.
>You will never promise your men all the spoils they can carry.
>You will never see the enemy tremble in fear at the sound of your army marching to their gates.

And one more before the great hay hitting >>21878050

>Something is running for you.
>No, two somethings.
>Light. A human.
>Heavy. Minotaur.
>You pivot, grabbing the human under your shield arm and blocking the blow of a warhammer.
>Following your motion, they swerve around you and skewer the monster on their…her sword.
“Still watching your back, I see.”
>”And we haven’t been watching our feet.” Innominate says, pressing her back to yours.
“It’s red and sticky. I don’t much want to look at it.”
>”We’re fighting above and ahead. They have another army, Anon.”
“The dogs.”
>She grabs onto your arms and pushes, flipping over your back and kicking away a bull.
>The motion knocks your poor dented crown off.
>Collateral damage.
“What do you suggest we do then?”
>”Pull the troops back to the mountain. The dogs won’t be able to dig through there, and we can bottleneck the bulls on the pass.”
“I knew there was a reason I kept you around. Duck!”
>You lunge for her and knock the girl down, right out of the path of a flying ax.
>Quickly you grab your crown from the dirt and leap off her, smashing the thing into a bull’s face and knocking it over.
>You slam your crown down on its horn, snapping it off.
>The beast cries out and swats at you, but you grab the broken bit of its pride and jam it into its chest.
>Innominate grabs you by the collar and hoists you up. “Sure you just wouldn’t miss me?”
“I’d miss you like I’d miss a hole in the head.” You joke.
>You stay ahead, mowing down any bull foolish enough to come near.
>”Men! To the pass!”
>Like stirred oil and water, the chaos begins to subside and your forces separate.
>Humans flock to mountain path—their smaller size and greater stamina allowing them to outrun their pursuers.
>Yes, the bulls were tiring. The battle had gone on too long for them.
>You reckon if this had been a pony fight instead, they’d have demolished them before tiredness even set in.
>The humans run up the path, forming rows, and pressing their shields to the backs of those ahead.
>You stood in the front. A spear popped up from behind, and you take it, holding it up while you hide behind a shield.
“If it has less than five toes, it doesn’t make it up this mountain!”
>You ready yourself for the rush.
>”Watch those sides, girls!” Innominate shouts, and soldiers lining the edge turn their shields to block the cliff.
>You can see the whites of the minotaurs’ eyes now.
>Your general made a good call.
>Just as the bulls slam into the line, some being skewered right away, others being poked at from the line behind, the ground erupts.
>Dogs covered head to hip in crude metal plates swarm the field like insects and attempt to scale the cliff up to the mountain path.
>They’re easily batted away by those guarding it.
>You hate to see such a fate befall man’s best friend, but you would be lying if you said it wasn’t amusing to see them fall like that.
>And so the fight drags on.
>Up until the very last, exhausted minotaur sighed and leapt onto your spear.
>Up until the very last dog completed their flesh bed at the base of the mountain.
>Up until the very last griffon broke from its flock.
>In a matter of a few minutes, Canterlot had been successfully defended from the feral hordes and saved from a fiery surrender.
>You breathe a heavy sigh of relief and collapse.
>Innominate follows example, and you two lean against each other while the high of battle works its way out of your senses.
>”Good work out there.”
“You could have been a bit better.”
>Forgetting about the delicate balance, she punches your shoulder.
>You tumble down and land on a cold minotaur.
>Slapping his face, you apologize for the fall and stand up.
>You spot Celestia floating from the sky.
>She hovers for a second, looking for a not fleshy spot to land, and seems content to continue flapping when her search proves fruitless.
>”That was…I’m sure you’re all tired. You can rest up in Canterlot; we have a great many buildings cleared out and furnished for your stay.” She says, eyeing at the army.
“Rest? Why, we only just got here!”
>”Are you girls tired yet?” your general huffs, standing herself up and adjusting her glasses.
>”We’ve places to be!”
>”Rest is for the weak!”
>”We can sleep when we’re dead!”
>Responses alike sound out, and you smile at Celestia, whose jaw nearly touches the ground.
“No, I think we’re just fine, Princess.”
>”You should at least rest yourself. You can’t lead an army if you’re worn to the bone.”
“Innominate leads the army, not me. I’m just the lucky guy always in front.”
>Speak of the devil. She wraps her arm around your shoulder and pulls you tightly to her chest.
>”That’s right. He’s basically my soldier, and I say he’s fine to keep going.” She says it in a way that makes it sound more like a command than a simple statement.
“Well I wouldn’t go that far. I am a king afterall.” You attempt to pull away, but she doesn’t let go.
>Hands on her hips, you push now, trying to escape her vice-like grip.
>She and Celestia won’t look away from each other.
>Is…there something going on?
“Innominate, down girl.”
>”Oh! Sorry.” She finally releases you.
>Is your fiancé cheating on you already?
>With your general?
>No no, that’s not it.
>You’re just reading too much into it.
>Do what you’re best at, pretty boy, and leave the ladies to the ladies.
>Curses! Speaking of ladies, you still need a ring for this one.
>You left it on your dresser at home.
>You knew you were forgetting something!
>”Well Princess, we really must be off. Us humans have a long walk ahead of us to reclaim all the territory *you* lost.” Innominate’s words are venomous.
>”Actually, I think I’ll go with you.”
>”You displayed such courage out there, Anonymous. Your soldiers seemed to be spurred on by your mere presence. I will aspire to do the same from now on—and who better to start with than my *husband*?”
>At that last word, she hovers closer and grabs you with her forelegs, pulling you into a hug.
>”*Future* husband.” The woman wedges her hands between you two and pushes you apart.
>You’re no rocket scientist but…something is off here.

And we'll leave it off there.
This is good.
King Anonymous is kind of slow.
Will the Lannisters be sending their regards during Celestia and Anon's wedding?
>You are given a toast at the diamond dogs fortress.
>They have changed sides
>You and Celestia sit there with your army outside.
>Out of nowhere, a diamond dog stabs Celestia multiple times in the stomach before moving to your mother.
>You run back and hold your dear wife till your own throat is slit.
>The wedding will always be known as the Twilight wedding, fore the sun has set for the last time.
>cross breeding improving the endurance of humans

Bitch do you even pursuit predation?
Mind if I take this for a ride?

”This is not any simple war, Anonymous. My people, their culture, their freedoms, their very way of life is at ri-"
>"What did you just say?" King Anonymous' tone suddenly becomes colder than the strongest Windigo.
“I’m sorry?”
>”What was it that you just said, repeat that.” He leaned forward in his throne, resting his hands on his knees.
>You are Princess Celestia, a very confused Princess Celestia.
>You came to Anonymous’ capital fortress to plead for assistance in this most dire time, though the look he’s giving you now only says that he completely forgot what he was refusing beforehand.
“Not…Any simple wa-“
>”No, no, the other part!” He scoots forward in his throne.

Shall I continue or fuck off, because I got another page of this shat out already.
Keep posting green.

Green is always good.


Captcha: XThis
Do YOU even heterosis?
“My people, their culture…” He’s repeating what you say in a murmur. “Their freedoms, their ver-“
>”Their freedoms…” His eyes widen like he just saw a puppy get kicked. He suddenly jumps out of his throne and hastily makes his way from its pedestal, shoving through the line of his personal guard, who remain unfazed, their cold eyes trained on him as he comes almost uncomfortably close to your face.
>”Th-their freedoms.” He says again, his pupils but pinpricks as they pierce your own. He suddenly stands upright, his head spinning around, quickly scanning his royal court. The small audience gathered around the court begins to look to each other worriedly. “Their freedoms.” He repeats once more. The audience begins to repeat it amongst themselves; even the elite guards seem to be shuffling uncomfortably. You take a deep breath and shatter the buzzing drama.
“And…” You once more feel all eyes on you. “I fear that, with Equestria conquered, the allied forces of Griffin, Minotaur and Diamond Dog might gather the confidence to attempt to assault even your kingdom simply for having me today.”
You can cut the atmosphere in the now dead silent court with a cold butterknife.
>”My kingdom…” King Anonymous begins to stutter, his face reddening. “M..MMmMM…” He seems to be trying to form words.
The courtroom has erupted into a low rumble of concern. Even the elite guardsmen are muttering to each other. King Anonymous takes a step back, and all eyes are on him once again. His face lights up with realization over something. He remains in that position for several moments.
This is so fucking funny. I love it. Keep going.
“King Anony-“
>“Muh freedoms.” He suddenly blurts out.
The court explodes into cries of worry, all repeating those same two words to each other, over and over. Even the guards have openly begun shouting it to each other.
>”Muh freedoms!” King Anonymous shouts. The activity in the courtroom doubles in volume. The women begin to sob and the men begin to shout amongst one another. Anonymous has rushed back up to his throne and leans behind it, brandishing some strange metal construct. “Muh freedoms!” He screams once more before waving the contraption around wildly, screaming unintelligibly. The elite guard squadron residing in the court begins to pull similar constructs from their waists and do the same.
King Anonymous suddenly ceases…whatever he’s doing, and sprints back down from the throne to a large door, opening it to reveal a balcony with a presentation pedestal, one that you recall gifting him. It’s magically enchanted to mimic the Royal Canterlot Voice for those who stand upon it. He leans over the stone railing, out of breath, before gasping.
“MY PEOPLE, HEAR ME.” His shout is blasted throughout the massive human capital, and all activity below, ceases as people begin to flow into view. After mere moments, thousands of human, ponies, and all those in between have gathered and wait in silence for their king to address them. He suddenly raises the metal device for all to see before again screaming “MUH FREEDOMS.”
Below, the humans immediately react, screams, sobbing, general mayhem breaks out for seconds before transitioning into deafening battle cries as thousands of different contraptions are raised throughout the crowd, non-human species showing clear confusion over what is currently transpiring. The cries for bloodshed are muted by wailing sirens as Anonymous strides back into the court towards the main door with vigor.
Do you really need to namefag? Is it important that we know that you are saying this?
Do you really have to show us that you have a great superiority complex?
I do not feel I am better than you or anybody else, mate. Now fuck off.
This reminds me of the "tales of privilege"
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>You follow him out to the main hallway, over the trek; he began stripping off his royal clothing and carelessly throwing it aside. Judging by the looks of the royal aides there to catch the articles before they hit the ground, this happens quite often.
“Anonymous, what is going on?” You shout over the bustling hallway activity, his hurried pace forcing you to gallop to keep up.
>”Embracing the very nature of humanity, my dear.” He says, unblinking, not breaking his stride. “I’m going to assemble my troops, march into that allied force’s face, shower them in hot lead and fire, get piss drunk and fuck a pile of their women. Not necessarily in that order. It’s for muh freedoms.”
>What manner of beast have you awoken?
>By now, the two of you have reached the main doors to the fortress, and the doormen slowly push them open, allowing your passage.
>Your ears are instantly flooded as deafening drones of strange flying machines shoot by above you. The very earth rumbles beneath your hooves as hundreds upon hundreds of bleak green ponyless carriages blaze past and towards the town’s main gate.
>Something suddenly covers your head, blinding you. You manage to scramble it off to find it to be the pants that King Anonymous was wearing moments ago.
>Anonymous trudges onward ahead of you, completely naked save for a fashioned holder for whatever that thing he’s carrying is, covered in head to toe in paint fashioned into a forest camouflage pattern. His…penis, is swinging from side to side as he approaches a group of his generals, all of which sporting the same getup, or lack thereof. Moments of huddled chatter later, some of the olive carriages came to take the generals away. Anonymous now approaches you, his manhood still swinging freely.
Not going to fall, sorry bro, have a nice day.
oh god my sides have left orbit
I am sure, this is going to end with:
>It was my privilege
Hi there!

You seem to have made a bit of a mistake in your post. Luckily, the users of 4chan are always willing to help you clear this problem right up! You appear to have used a name when posting, but your identity has nothing at all to do with the conversation! Whoops! You should always remember to stop using your name when the thread it was used for is gone, unless another one is started! Posting with a name when it isn't necessary is poor form. You should always try to post anonymously, unless your identity is absolutely vital to the post that you're making!

Now, there's no need to thank me - I'm just doing my bit to help you get used to the anonymous image-board culture!
“Anonymous, I don’t know how to thank you for all of this. Equestria is in your eternal debt, and, if it may show any semblance of my thanks, I offer my own hooves to you-“
>”Celestia, my eyes are up here.”
>Oh shit.
“Oh, yes, yes, of course.” Fuck your face is red isn’t it, “M-my own hooves to you.” He sits there, completely silent. “In marriage?”
>”Careful what you say around me Celestia, I might say yes.” He says with a smirk. He’s sorta handsome for something you never knew existed until a couple decades ago. “But not now.”
“Excuse me?”
A larger carriage rumbles up, this one looks much bigger and runs on giant treads.
>”I gotta hit that front line. Gotta defend muh freedoms.” He hops up on one of the sides and opens a hatch, he pauses to look at you before sinking into the hulking steel beast. Music begins to echo from inside.
The vehicle churns back to life with a roar before rumbling away, leaving you there, more of the monsters pass by you to join it in its journey.
>It has been 3 months since the war ended. The human forces carved through the allied force in little over 2 weeks, proving to be the most grueling, violent war in Equestrian history in that small time window.
>Stories from both sides claim that King Anonymous was undoubtedly the first in, doing that screaming thing he does shooting fire from his “boomstick” as they refer to it, still buck ass naked, but far from the last out.
>After a night of heavy assault on the griffin capital, Anonymous was reported to have…suffocated, under the weight of several griffin females. His body recovered and buried in the Canterlot gardens by your own request and approved by the general who stepped up to take the position of king.
>His gravestone is simple, a small marble marker, which bears nothing on it save for one small carving.
>The human letter “F”
>Humans are odd.

I don't give writefags enough credit, this shit is hard. How was it anyway? Pls bully if you need to.
It was funny as hell.
Also, why just the letter "F"?
>Not being in the know constantly for fresh dank memes.
He's a namefag, what do you expect?
Console fag here, I know it as "Press X to Pay Respects"
>The human letter “F”
you cheeky fuck, i love you
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That's enough Princess, you don't have to pretend like this, we both know what you have in mind.
You see, I've been researching you, whenever Twilight's given me a chance to read in her library and I have listened to your pupil's stories about you very carefully.
These Griffons, Minotaurs, and Diamond Dogs? Brutal, destructive, but ultimately pathetic when compared to the might of the Equestrian race and their Godlike rulers. You hold yourself and your people back because you fear ruining the harmony your society has worked so hard to build.
You're afraid that you'll end up becoming like my people, but that's exactly why you need me isn't it!
Well fine then, you're very lucky Princess. I have grown too close to too many of your subjects to simply let you let them die.

Make me your executioner
Going to town to sell my wares soon bump.
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leather armor.
wearing the skins of her slain enemies from the cattle uprising
>5 years later, after anon fucked shit up. "Mommy, mommy how did you and daddy meet?"
"Well you see sweetie, mommy had a problem. She got on her knees and came crawling to me, crying a river of tears for my assistance. Being the dastardly handsome and heroic fellow I am, of course I came to her aid. After that, she was so in love with me she practically threw herself--"
>"Anon! I would appreciate it if you didn't lie to our children."
"I'm paraphrasing.
PLOT TWIST: Diamond Dogs reveal themselves to actually function more like Orks and are able to cobble together various guns and warmachines that manage to function simply because enough Dogs believe they should work. (Friendship is magic, after all.)

How fucked is Anon?
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He'll be fine, as long as he applies his tactical genius
Not fucked at all, since diamond dogs still don't have the spawning rates of orks and ponies have their own version of their "clap your hands of you believe" magic like Friendship you mention.
>Not having celestia teleporting bunker busting kinetic rods into equestria's orbit and targeting open fields where diamond dog under ground bunkers might be.
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If this whole fandom wasn't full blown fantasy...

"All right Inniminate time for a PT Test"
>"Ahh I think I busted something or got pregnant"
"Silly girl general to impress the men you have to excel at the standards we press our own soldiers to"
>4 hours later
"ok you did 5 pushups, 20 situps, 25 minute 2-mile run, and you always have someone carry your ruck"
>"I am a strong independent woman who don't need no man"
"Why are you in my Army again"
>"I have the pussy I make the rules"
"Guards take her to the dungeon"
>"Wait I....you're just jealous of my curves you sexist/racist/homophobic pig"

>Anon later promotes a male general who can actually do the job and lead troops
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my take on this story.
10,000 anons and femanons immediately thrown into war with pony kind.
only strongest surviving.
humanity in Equestria is a fight for survival.
battle has made the standard femanon pic related an amazon to be reckoned with

a man can dream
with Innominate looking something like ...

not sure but pic may be part satyre
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that's funny, for SOME reason i have been imagining her to look like pic related
didn't writefag mention she wore glasses? and was short?
i dont know, i cant remember and im far to lazy to look it up
You'd be 100% right if it weren't for the fact she's been trained her whole life for this one job.
>Being a general means you're the best fighter
Something something 4chins age limit
Yeah, plus this is set in a medival style setting. So Innominate probably comes from a noble family and is thus in power by default.
>You are Princess Celestia, now otherwise known by your new title of queen consort.
>The last few hours had passed as if in a blur.
>This very morning you had married a man whose assistance in your war had saved Equestria from certain doom.
>A man who you'd personally seen fell countless foes with a ferocity that made the blood run cold.
>A man who'd ordered the griffon capital razed to the ground so that any future talk of defiance would quickly be smothered under the memory of what happens when you pick a fight with humans.
>A man who was now standing opposite you beside your bed and stripping himself of his ceremonial armour.
>'Okay Celestia, no need to panic... it's just sex.'
>That was what you kept telling yourself.
>It was your wedding night after all and you were expected to fulfil certain obligations.
>As if you weren't nervous enough, the knowledge that you'd never even so much as kissed a stallion in the past did little but make you all the more uneasy.
>What if you did something wrong?
>Maybe you could just say you had a headache and weren't feeling up to it tonight.
>No, no.
This was your duty, and no being alive new more about duty than you.
>For millennia you'd fulfilled your duty as a princess, now it was time to fulfil your duty as a wife.
>By the stars, please let him be gentle.
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damn it now we are going to have to hear about how theres no way Tia has never kissed...

just a thought as a different angle

Anons blood lust scares the princesses. this monster cant be allowed freedom
Anon now commands any remaining griffs menataur or dogs, their loyalty is assured out of threat of death. he turns his sights of conquest to the pony nation

or is this green text dead?

whatever i just want to see it continue
spoilers: he is not
>not casting aside your harsh, brutal exterior to give your queen the love she needs


>You're still Princess Celestia, and if you had to describe what you were thinking in one word that word would be "wow!"
>So THAT was sex?
>You'd heard stories, but never would you have expected the experience to be quite so... intense.
>Lying here in a pleasured daze with your head resting upon your husband's shoulder as he runs his fingers through you mane, you wonder if you'd have waited over a thousand years before sharing yourself with another had you known quite how incredible it would feel.
>Mmm... those fingers of his.
>And by the stars, that stamina!
>"So, how about round two?"
>You can barely bring yourself to respond with coherent words so instead simply offer an eager coo of delight as your new husband once more positions himself between your hind legs.
>Maybe this marriage wouldn't be so bad after all.
You know you want to shake the entire castle pounding celestia's ponut
>This was your duty, and no being alive new more about duty than you.
Well that's what happens when you type one handed while trying to eat dinner.
I know I want to make rough and vigorous love to her from behind with her bent over the map table inside my campaign tent while the guards outside try to ignore her increasingly loud grunts and moans of pleasure.
Monkey dick don't need to be big dick to show a mare a good time. I like it.
>Not having both.