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I want to serve Equestria with my fellow...
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You are currently reading a thread in /mlp/ - My Little Pony

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I want to serve Equestria with my fellow Horsefuckers
>You will never ride into battle with your fellow horsefuckers
>You will never just stand around awkwardly once you get there because all this worlds problems are solved by friendship lasers
>You will never be known as "the knights who try to do feats of heroism but are just too slow"
>tfw we will never to be able to end earthly conflicts with friendship lasers
What armor would we even use? Would the ponies make royal guard armor for us? Do we get to choose what armor from Earth we want? Do all of us have to wear the same armor, or can we have diversity in our ranks?
What would you guys choose?
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obviously all of us would have glorious
>pic related
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deus vult
get out of here edgelord faggotron
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Fine, is this better?
>You will never look into the sky and be comforted knowing you have superior air support.
>armor is still a glowy fagrag
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Aside from the helmet, where is the glow?
Also, how about this? No edgy arcane runes and no glowshit helmet, you happy?
stuff like this but with more plate armor like some pauldrans and a breast plate
I'm a coward, so I'll be cheering you guys on.
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nope that armor is impractical in manufacturing and wear-ability.
>implying there is biosuits in equestria
this obviously does not go with the whole "only primitive technology" thing

kill yourself
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>not liking glowing armor

I bet you don't even sculpt.
vidya games are unrealistic thats how
But that doesn't explain your previous statement.
all of us having glowing armor would look stupid
it'd be better just to have plate or chain armor
i wasn't the op
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Fuck it, why don't we dress it has this then?
>posting mass effect shit in a EQ army thread
>Implying that is Op
why are there so many dubs in this thread
>Implying Mass Effect
Special Horsefucker Division dressed in full plate armor, assembled into large Phalanx's. We serve and heed the princess's call whenever they would need us.
the op of the post holeass
>Posting memes in a EQ army thread.
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notice it's practicality and customizability. no over engineering here. modern armor has no use for jutting metal plates and helmets that severely block visibility
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>You will never ride her to glorious battle
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>All these faggots choosing shitty crusader gear
THIS is the Armor we need
For the Goddess, her Honor guard stands at the ready! Only the most skillful and dedicated Sunfags may prove one's worth among their ranks!
i like the helmet of the guys that's looking away
We be these guys!, Storm the Bridge men!!!

At 1:27

>not being completely naked
>not psyching every single creature out with our nude bodies
>them completely unaware of what to do against such a foe as we are normally wearing clothes
>us not even harming them unless threatened, more or less just making them feel uncomfortable or very comfortable
good, because then she might get hurt
im not the guy ur arguing with but modern armor would be impractical because all of the other armies in EQ use spears and swords so there would be little protection
*tips helmet*
Sexually intimidate then in to defeat.
Green when?
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>all these fags choosing medieval armor
the fuck i want to walk/ride around all day in armor for?
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We need Slavshit
We need a fearless and wise King

They live in a world where melee weapons are the norm and they have no guns. Armor makes sense
yeah i know. and dead spaces armor did show good protection against puncture. but fuck sci-fi bio-suit armor for looking so stupid.

but an arrow wouldn't do shit against a ceramic plat
so we didn't make guns (something we have a very good knowledge of) because?
I like the idea of Anons from different cultures having there own divisions in the Equestrian military. But then you get the Japanese Anons picking fights with the Euro Anons and such. Constantly trying to out do each other on the battlefield.

Boner at the ready!
> charge
Do you actually know how to make a rile from scratch?
Replace Jesus with Celestia SOMEONE
>metal tube

the possibilities for experimentation are nearly endless. we have the basic idea of a self-loading weapon.
Comrade, I am seriously of hoping you don't believe that on mlp there is of kommandos
We should start at crossbows and work our way from there. Maybe the zebras have an idea on how to make a gunpowder substitute.
no which is why i asked
Had R&D whip something up from those specifications anon.
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There are worse ways to die than a gunshot
and all of these ways are readily available in massive quantities
Well let's see, if you guys went to Equestria you have no way to know if it is like canonically portrayed or if it might be different.

If it's not you have 50% to either no problem or ending in someplace way more unpleasant than you could imagine
>Not smallpox
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we are making progress
>30-35% mortality rate

Call back when you break 75%.
>75% at best
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I wanna be that guy, yeah, you know the guy
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You plebs not want to server under our one true king
How would we even weaponize disease?
This is what we do

Guards are given spartan esq steel armor with no chainmail, chainmail is replaced with a regular tunic or long sleeved shirt which is coloured white or dark blue depending on what time the guard does his rounds. Guard armor still has pauldrons. Soldiers will be given crusader esq armor with chainmail and plates. The soldiers armor has a steel breastplate, gauntlets that cover all of the hand, thick boots that go up to the shin, steel pauldrons, and a faraam helmet

Every soldier and guard is equiped with an ulfberht sword. Castle guards are given halberds during shifts so every enemy pony/thing that sees the guard will be intimidated and civilians will feel safe. Spears will be replaced with a recreation of the Mosin Nagant with a bayonet (this will replace archers as well). Guards will also be given zweihanders (again for the intimidation factor of a 6 foot set of armor holding a giant fucking sword) it will be their choice for which weapon they use during their rounds but guards protecting the throne room during daycourt and nightcourt will be forced to use the zweihander. This does not apply to the guards stationed outside the throne room doors. The shield for the soldiers would be a basic kite shield with the insignia of the sun, or the moon, for the guards depending on which time of day they do their rounds or which court they guard. Soldiers will also be equiped with a kite shield but their insignia would be >pic related but more of a gray color. Each and every soldier/guard is given a 6" - 9'' dagger for close quarters.
throw the heads and bodies of the dead deceased over the walls with catapults
or just send the diseased over the walls alive
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If we're going to do some praising, better get it done right.
>The shield for the soldiers would be a basic kite shield with the insignia of the sun, or the moon, for the guards depending on which time of day they do their rounds or which court they guard.
>The shield for the guards would be a basic kite shield with the insignia of the sun, or the moon, for the guards depending on which time of day they do their rounds or which court they guard.**

I ghoofed
>Not Spanish Flu
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>Nobody wants Rajput
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Slavshit for medieval gear is the best because it combines the eastern and western arms and armor philosophies.
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I want literal horsefuckers to go die in a ditch.
Wrong thread, bruh
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Chocolate cake is great.
Taking a big shit is great.

Combining chocolate cake and a big shit... not so great.
>Not a single Anon deciding to wear the Judgement armor.

But to be fair, the Sun Knight set is a good choice too.


>not tuetonic
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>you faggots don't even know how to use a sword properly
there's a lot more behind it than just swinging and stabbing
I will get myself an armor like this and fuck shit up with an sword which is 2 METERS long

I wonder how long it will take all the autists to talk about BIDENHÄNDER
Praise the light brother.
>anon probably can't even lift for shit
>gotta end like a truemanlet with the power of the true nature, covered in the wooden armor
>died in 3 sec being on the battlefield
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Protect and Serve, Protect and serve...
>kite shield
Nigga we most likely wouldn't be riding on horses, a round shield, (particularly a larger one) or something along the lines of a Scutum would be better. As for why no guns. Is ammonium nitrate and straight out sulfur going to be normal in Equestria. Also, metal tube styles are inaccurate as fuck and have been known to misfire in explosive ways.

This nigga knows what's up, well for the most part, those shields are shit.
>implying I haven't studied Cold Steel.
>implying 90% isn't building up muscles and tendons to handle swinging 2.5-4.5 pounds of steel.
>Implying I'd go with that rather than a Long Sword or any backsword.
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Nice to see someone in this thread has good taste.
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This. And wreck everything with a fucking monster maul.
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sorry chaps,but ill be with the griffins raiding yo coasts. from the sky most likely.
>Horsefuckers write a letter to Celestia
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>wanting to abdicate the throne from our benevolent goddess
I love the full plate style and think it would be the best for protection. However, I'm big on mobility and have a hard-on for Greek armor and weapons, so I'd likely suit up as a richer hoplite who got the breastplate and everything
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One unbreakable shield against the coming darkness,

One final blade, forged in defiance of fate.

Let them be my legacy to the galaxy I conquered,

And my final gift to the species I failed.
No being shall escape the Light.
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I must die to save the sun? I must replace it's fuel? After all my fighting, I cannot enjoy the fruit of my labor?

I can become grossly incandescent?

I will die for my Princess.
I am the wall that the Darkness breaks itself against.
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i stand by your side, brother
That's my best suggestions. Any objections?
I only just realised Sir Gwayne's shield has a chicken on it. I feel like I missed a good Python moment
T-Knights master race

Also dubs.
>Everone wants medieval stylings and thinks they could actually handle a sword
>Nobody ever suggests archer division
>Assumes /k/ommandos will create firearms that won't explode your hand & face
>while clean, shiny armored twats pose for pics...
Mah nigga.
Thursday, March 5th, Year 2 of the 6th Equestrian Age, Day four of... whatever this is.

>In an attempt to quell the newfound chaos within Her Solar Majesty's royal army, Princess Celestia has appointed me captain of a newly formed "auxiliary" division, if you could call it that.
>My orders are to organize this mass of blathering Anons into a proper military unit using any means necessary. A simple tour of out barracks was all I needed to confirm that this will be no easy task.
>The, uh... "soldiers" are teetering on he brink of riot as they argue what this new division of the Equestrian army will be called.
>Since there are no dubs, trips, or quints to decide, they are forced to come to a conclusion by actually agreeing upon something
>Perhaps I should intervene
>Celestia help my poor soul

writefag reporting for duty, sir
Sunday, March 8th, Year 2 of the 6th Equestrian Age, Day 7 of Sunbutt's Harem

>It's taken a few days, but I've managed to quell the masses by staging a simple lottery. Every unit was ordered to write a name down upon a slip of paper and deposit it into a box. Easy.
>Of course the first thing I drew had something to do with sex. In fact, upon sampling a few submissions, I concluded that at least eighty percent had something to do with sex.
>I asked the Princess about this, and for some reason she had no opinion on the issue, and allowed it to pass. I did not know if the redness in her cheeks was embarrassment or flattery. Perhaps both.

time for you to start that fanfic
Monday, March 16th, Year 2 of the 6th Equestrian Age, Day 15 of Sunbutt's Harem

>After some back-and-forth with the army's blacksmith, fletchery, and provisions departments, we've managed to procure enough basic necessities to begin operating. Each of my nine hundred and fifty three soldiers are outfitted with some form of chainmail armor, made of iron by the looks of it. We now have access to a slew of classic medieval weapons such as shortswords, longspears, maces, heater shields, bows, and crossbows, and enough ammo to fire them.
>I've organized the division into five units of one hundred and ninety, and each of those units into five "herds" of thirty eight, and those herds into three squads of ten and one of eight. It isn't as symmetrical as I'd like it to be, but at least we have some semblance of order.
>I've tired to pair as many men with the same taste in waifu together as I could.
>I've got an entire unit composed strictly of Twifags
>Perhaps it would be best if I requested duty far away from Ponyville.
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Wear this because we'd be a legion of unstoppable knights
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write moar faster

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Given the level of technology involved, I'd imagine it would depend on funding.

Gothic or other late plate would be ideal if we had infinite funding, but we'd probably be focused around pike&shot type stuff, as it would be a generally good balance between what there is available and how much it would cost. Just more or less guessing considering how much variation there is in Equestria's tech level.
I'd figure it more of a "Run what ya brung" approach.

We'd all show up with whatever it is we have and be organized accordingly.
Wednesday, April 1st, Year 2 of the 6th Equestrian Age, Day 31 of Sunbutt's Harem

>We've finally received some orders!
>Thanks the stars. The men have been getting restless as of late. I've put most of the unskilled to work sparring with each other, and those with practical skills teaching classes to those we've deemed responsible enough. i.e One of the soldiers was a paramedic before the spacial-temporal event brought us here to Equestria, and soon enough we'll have a somewhat knowledgeable medic in each squad. Those of us that have confirmed hundreds of hours playing Chivalry: Medieval Warfare are leading the sparring drills. Mortal Kombat fags have been teaching hand-to-hand, which is somewhat mired by not being able to rip people's spines out for real

>Anyway, Princess Luna has ordered our entire division to the Crystal Empire of all places.
>It seems that Princess Pink's military is somewhat lacking, as most of the population believe in using weaponized love as a deterrent for any hostile forces.
>Because it worked SOOO well for keeping The Slave King at bay.
>Retards who couldn't do shit in the holylands so they decided to fuck with the catholic poland and steal land like a bunch of retards.
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>Mortal Kombat fags have been teaching hand-to-hand, which is somewhat mired by not being able to rip people's spines out for real
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>Glorius Battlemage reporting in

With the possibility of magic and enchantments I could finally live my dream. I would study magic under Twilight and fight along side my fellow horsefuckers
Tuesday, April 7th, Year 2 of the 6th Equestrian Age, Day 37 of Sunbutt's Harem

>Baby's first maneuvers have been going well. Apparently, the Crystal Empire is quite a bit more hostile than depicted on the show.
>It's really damn cold up here
>The men have been calling it "fucking Skyrim with horses"
>Outside the magical bubble shield-thingy, the Empire consists of miles and miles of rocky frozen wasteland and several isolated patches of taiga forests.
>These wild lands are host to a menagerie of wild beasts bigger and meaner than any human or pony could ever be
>Our first contact was what our crystal guard guides called "Ice Phantoms"
>It was some kind of crystal pony, only even more transparent and lacking any mane or tail.
>A horde of them, maybe fifty in number, attacked our Flutterfag unit
>The soldiers they fought like waterbenders or someshit
>Several my men returned with pencil-thin spikes of ice sticking out from between the links in their mail
>Reports showed that the swordsmen and archer squads couldn't deal any effective blows, but luckily there were two squads of macemen to smash the things to pieces
>Several men were reported wounded, two in critical condition, but thankfully none were killed in the attack. On the bright side, he entire horde was reduced to a pile of ice.
>Maybe this whole division wasn't such a bad idea after all.
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Spetsnaz Horsefucker Unit when?

>riding into battle
>Units whose anons fight for their waifus
>"Do it for her"
>Ponka peforming to the Ponkafag unit before a great battle
This is brilliant
Friday, April 10th, Year 2 of the 6th Equestrian Age, Day 40 of Sunbutt's Harem

>I'm pleased to report that our maneuvers outside of the Empire has been a success.
>After three days patrolling the city's perimeter, it had become clear to me just how badly they needed us.
>less than a week on duty and the man have faced more ice phantoms, dire polar bears, hostile pine tree ents (that's isn't even a joke), a tatlzwyrm that has adapted to cold climates, and all manner of timberwolves
>How the hell did these ponies get by without us?

>The men have been growing closer and closer. I'm hearing reports of both Sunfags and Lunfags living in the same barracks together without fistfights breaking out.
>Their obsession with sex has been toned down to a dull murmur thanks to the Empire's abundant supply of slutty mares that "love a stallion in uniform"
>Princess Cadence is impressed with our first run. She pulled me aside when I was on leave the other day and said that she had finally found a reason to relight the city's forges and reopen their mines
>She said that thanks to us, more crystal ponies can start pursuing their special talents after a thousand years of not picking up a pick or a hammer
>What a time to be alive
Spetsnaz in Equestria has potential
Tuesday, May 5th, Year 2 of the 6th Equestrian Age, Day 65 of Sunbutt's Harem

>It's been over a month since our arrival at the Empire. The Harem is starting to change for the better. My men are soldiers, and they're starting to act like it now.
>Just yesterday, I gave a man from the Ponkafag unit an order, and instead of saying "ayyy lmao" or "not your personal army", he said "Yes, sir."
>Morale is the highest I've seen it since we were transported to Equestria. The men have started paining their shiny new platemail armor to match their chosen waifu.
>Some of the /k/ommandos have been coordinating with the city's blacksmiths to create a supply of crude colonial-era firearms
>Some of the archers have been issued flintlock pistols or rifles in addition to their blows and crossbows.
>In addition to that, I don't know how in holy hell they did it, but some of the men from an Applefag herd managed to tame a fucking dire polar bear to pull a sled into battle.
>I've rearranged the squads a bit to equip this herd with some of those aforementioned riflemen
>They preceeded to name him Dakkabear
Petition to name writefag "General" when?

Capatcha: norme
Thursday, May 7th, Year 2 of the 6th Equestrian Age, Day 67 of Sunbutt's Harem

>Something is off
>My combat reports are becoming odder every day
>Right now, I have on my desk the written words of a soldier that swears on his life he saw the pine ents riding oversized timberwolves through one of the forests
>The beasts that we've been fighting have shown no sign of intelligence higher than attacking us on sight
>If that solider wasn't just drunk, or fucking with me for the fun of it, then this could be hard evidence that the beasts that threaten the Empire are becoming... organized.
>I hope he's a liar
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>Not Man enough to go straight up Berserker

Plebs, all of you
Snow niggers always talking about how great being naked is
>Implying a crazy naked man with a pointed stick coming to kill you isn't terrifying
Friday, May 8th, Year 2 of the 6th Equestrian Age, Day 68 of Sunbutt's Harem

>With the soldier in tow, I think he was part of one of the Sunfag herds, I took a ride on Dakkabear's sleigh and crew this morning to see the scene of the crime for myself.
>We ducked and weaved through a what seemed like an endless expanse of prickly pine trees and knee-high snow before the Sunfag stopped us.
>The snow around here gets blown around like sand in the dessert, so animal tracks don't stay there for long
>We didn't find much at first, just a few broken branches and some troll shit
>But then we hit it
>A fucking beaten path, twenty feet wide and littered with pine needles
>this couldn't have occurred naturally
>it had to be built, and we didn't build it
>We nearly shat ourselves GTFOing
>impying the crazy man isn't fucked if his enemy has archers
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Thread needs more Vikings

>Implying they have more arrows than crazy men
>humanity taming godamb bears to pull sleids.

The end is near, taking bets now how long before humans kill all other sapient life on the planet
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>kill all other sapient life on the planet
>not enslaving for our endless sexual pleasure

Friday, May 8th, Year 2 of the 6th Equestrian Age, Day 68 of Sunbutt's Harem

>It was time
>This morning, I gathered the entire Harem for an announcement
>Fuck, I never was good at public speaking
>I told the men what we saw the other day, and what it meant. The monsters were working together, and they probably want to make a move on us
>If my suspicions were right, there was a organized force of supernatural beasts at the end of that road
>I told them it was a volunteer-only mission, because let's face it, we're just a bunch of paramilitary neckbeards killing animals
>When I asked who would go with me, I nearly cried like a bride on her wedding day
>Not a damn hand in that place wasn't raised
>Nine hundred-strong men, and they all agreed without another word

>I've left a skeleton crew of three herds to patrol the outside of the city. It was strictly defensive maneuvering from there on out, no going off and wrecking a stray pack of timberwolves
>Today we march for the road. Whatever lies at the end, we'll damn well be ready for it.
Be back in a few. Got some shit to take care of real quick before I keep on wrifagging
Wednesday, May 13th, Year 2 of the 6th Equestrian Age, Day 73 of Sunbutt's Harem

>"We're Anons forever, horsefuckers together
We're wizards, but so much mooo-oore
We will cum inside, our lyrics aren't that clever
We're Anons to the core!"
>We needed a marching song, and hey it's the only one that everyone here knew. It started out as apples to the core, but of course no one has had any mares since we left, so it turned into...that.

>We've been marching down the road a couple of days now. It eventually led us out of the forest and out into a Celestia-damned blizzard. Lucky for us trolls make nice fuzzy coats and Russian fur hats.
>Princess Pink loaned us some of her finest work ponies and several sleds worth of provisions, so we shouldn't starve out here. Keeping the water sled from freezing is a pain in the ass.
>So far, nothing ugly has shown it's face since we set our boots on the path. I don't know weather this is a blessing, or a mass of monsters was headed to the Crystal Empire while we dick around in the snow.
>Part of me wants to send a detachment back to the Empire to see if it was okay, and another part says that they'd die alone in the blizzard. Yet another part wants me to go home and sleep the rest of my life away. What to do, what to do.
Shit. Forgot my name.
>responding to orders with ayy lmao
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underated post
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>tfw I've been documenting the collective Equestrian technologies and their tech is far from primitive
To be fair, there could be battlemages, but those would probably be the Fedora Division, or the unicorns.
>Gunpowder substitute
Bucko, it's charcoal powder, potassium nitrate, and sulphur to make black powder. All of these occur naturally. There is no need for a substitute. But right on for suspecting the ziggers to make it, Zecora being an alchemist and all.
I like this writefag. This is a good fucking writefag.
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>grey knights
ma nigga
Continue...please ( ;-;)
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Just because we all want to fuck horses does'nt mean we'd all get along.
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But if said horses were in danger from vast amounts of enemies and darkness, Would you put aside your differences and rise with us to fight by our side and protect the things you as well as all of us, love? brother?
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You have my sword, brother
AND my axe
Excerp from the journals of King Minos, third of his name, Lord of Labyrinthia and all of its holdings:

I had been been surprised when one of my generals wrote to me boasting to having captured a human during one of his many raids into Equestrian territory; almost excited even.

The only way a bull would see one of those demons was on the battlefield charging toward you with weapons raised high while he screamed death upon you and your brothers and now I had one in my procession to do with as I pleased?

Wanting to see the creature for myself, I decided to go down to where the general was stationed to see if his boasting held truth.

As luck would have it, the general was only a few days journey away from the capital; a horrid place that my forefathers had called The Rock.

Upon arriving my vanguard and I were greeted by the general, who immediately took several of my finest warriors and myself to the fort's dungeons to see the human

When I asked him if he had gotten any information out of the creature, useful or otherwise (Everything we knew about these creatures were from hearsay and rumor) I was told that they had received less than nothing.

The human stayed silent throughout the beatings and the torture that he had been put through, only opening his mouth to spit blood at my soldiers.

Impressed by the creatures fortitude (I knew this particular general of mine had a fondness for questioning captured soldiers and had excelled at it for many, many years) I had increased my pace, wanting to see this being myself.
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>knights were deeply religious
>you're all atheist scum
>knights had morals
>none of you do
>knights followed a code of chivalry
>you never could
>knights were fit
>you aren't

enough of this
you shame the men that gave their lives for God
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We'll manage
>All these plebs wanting to use historical bullshit armor
>Wanting to be hot, sweaty, aching, and still likely to die because of gaps in the armor.
>Not wanting to combine human engineering and pony magic to produce powered armor.
>Not striding into battle within ten feet of inch-thick composite plating.
>Not attracting the entire enemy army's attention by virtue of your sheer size compared to ponies.
>Not then laughing at their horror as javelins, arrows, and blasts of magic merely scorch armor meant to resist HEAT warheads.
>Not wading into the enemy line, firing blindly at masses of enemy troops and simply knocking aside those who are not hit.
>Not coming upon their leader, cowering and blubbering in disbelief.
>Not picking them up and one-handedly holding them aloft amid the battle, your magically-enhanced voice echoing across the battlefield to declare the conflict done.
>Not carrying them back to your lines despite their furious struggles, their screaming, ranting, and pleading.
>Not depositing them in a quivering lump at Celestia's hooves and saluting with a fist the size of her chest.
"I have done my duty, Princess."
White knight spotted! 10 O'Clock!
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wow, what a fucking cowardly pussy

>i don't want a challenge from my enemy, then i'd lose!
>what? wearing real armor requires strength? screw that!

if you were any person worthy of even being compared to a knight, you'd wouldn't prey on enemies too weak to have a chance against you
There are many stories about these humans and their savageness in protecting the Equestrians. That they are stronger than a Manticore, faster than a Harpy, and do not fear death or pain in any form. I've even heard that they are demons spawned by the princesses themselves; demons of rage and bloodlust. And while I knew that none of these tales were true (tales that peasants told one another so that they could be fearful of the shadows) I had expected a human to be more than what it was.

The one that my general had captured was a stocky creature, no more than fifteen hands tall though thick in the arms and chest. With only a cloth to cover his manliness I was able to see that these creatures were, in fact, shockingly hairless

I would comment more of the creatures appearance if he had been more than a hairless, smaller, weaker version of one of my bulls.

The human had been chained to the wall with fine steel claspings, the size and length of which were for a far larger creature than the one that stood before me, naked and covered in his own blood.

I stood there with my soldiers, waiting for the human to curse, to shout, to plea, and was met with silence... until the human's eyes opened.

I cannot, even now, in the safety of mine own keep, write down how the creature looked at me.

Even in my old age I am still a powerful bull, and I must have stood head and shoulders over this creature, but I, and many of my soldiers, found themselves retreating from this monster's gaze.

>"And who might you be?" He had said, his voice like a knife cutting through the air.

One of my bulls explained who I was, and had explained his situation to him. He was a prisoner; a valuable one at that. If he continued to silence he would be tortured and executed, but if he loosened his tongue, told us what we wanted and needed for this blasted war, he would be free to go.

To my shock, I was met with laughter, thick and mocking.
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>"Oh, the king of the bulls wishes this soldier of the sun to parlay and beg for his life?" He asked, staring at us as though we were children trying to bully an elder. "Begone, and take your threats with you; death nor torture hold any fear for me."

Being of great patience and virtue, I myself tried to reason with the human.

He was not a pony, nor were any of his fellows; this war was not his.

>"That is where you are wrong, king of the bulls," he had said, his eyes fierce.

>"These ponies you fight are not creatures of violence or war. They did not wish to fight or offend you and yours, did not wish to commit to open battle with you, but you wage war on them for land and wealth."

Something that sounded like a growl came out of the creatures mouth.

>"You come to enslave and conquer, to steal and take what is not yours, and my kin will not stand for that."

Now rather upset, I demanded to know why he would kill and die for these ponies.

I was answered with an unnerving smile.

>"Wouldn't you kill and die for the thing you love most in this world?"

That was the moment I decided to end this ill-fated campaign against the Equestrians.

I could see from this creatures eyes, a creature who had killed over fifty of my soldiers with a warhammer before they had managed to subdue him, that he did not fight for money, or wealth, or to test himself against another.

He fought to keep the ones (or the "thing" as he called it) safe and happy and free.

The term "love" comes to mind, but that is not a strong enough word for these creature's devotion. Very rarely does someone charge into a pike wall laughing because of love, or continue to fight whilst having been dealt more than a few killing blows, or face the cold and the rain and the battlefield for such an emotion.
I could see from this creatures eyes, with beatened and bloody and chained young male, that he would happily slaughter me and everyone in my kingdom, would burn and salt our earth, and commit any number of atrocities to keep the ponies safe. He had made their lives worth more than his, and he was more than happy to give up his in their defense... so long as he took some of ours...

And there is no fighting such monsters as that.

You're right. I wouldn't be a knight, applying some ancient and outdated code of honor to a situation that doesn't fit it.

I wouldn't be an archaic remnant of a time long passed, struggling to face down an enemy that is not going to play fair by any means.

I would be a soldier, aiming to most effectively dispose of any threatening force by the best means available.

If that means fighting on massively unequal terms, so be it - because I severely doubt anything I would face would ignore me on the grounds of some honor code.

It wouldn't be remotely fair, but I could be pretty certain that I would be getting shit done.
Then I guess you're not of knightly material.
Yeah, knights. How brave. Slaughtering untrained, under-equipped peasants while wearing full plate armour and riding a pure-bred horse, if they actually fought at all. Sorry, what were you saying about knights not preying on enemies too weak to stand a chance?

>i don't want a challenge from my enemy, then i'd lose!

>Implying you wouldn't take any advantage you could possibly have to win
>Implying entire military doctrines aren't build around getting every possible advantage over your enemy
>Implying Sun Tzu didn't write millennia ago about how you should do everything in your power to win, manipulate your enemy as much as possible and use literally every single trick at your disposal against them
>Implying the whole concept of a medieval knight as an honourable and just warrior wasn't created as a romanticised ideal for stories

Honourable. Effective (alive) soldier. Pick one.
Knights were just bullies with swords there to keep the serfs in line anyway.
page nine is no place for writefriend to die

bumpity bump
>Catarina armor
Fuck yes.
>viking swords
>not based longsword
>not swiss saber
>no artillery/cavalry sabre
>not any of the oakshott types
Literally pleb.
DS pls, at least lrn2real life. No one even truly knows how they were used and they specialized
>close quarters
Stop. Please.

>no mail
>using inferior armor

>no realizing pauldrons aren't even necessary protection

>thick shin boots

>faraam helmet
Scale is inferior to plate and mail

However hussars....well that's different
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Obviously only the best armor. Would anyone care to be my "Biggs"?
There's like a whole thread of people able to fill the armor, take your pick
>gilded armor
Enjoy the extra weight and losing your fortune

>not war rapier
>not longsword
Good choice, but still pleb
But can any of them wield a 20 pound wrecking ball on a stick?
Touche anon
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If you'll be my Drake
>giant hunk of metal almost as big as the wielder
>20 pounds
is General Writefag the Fourth kill ;-;
>being a faggot
>being autistic
Knights were literally top tier in technology and the social ladder, we're applying this because for all nearly all cases, Equestria is mostly medieval/ancient with technological aspects flying all over the scale

>not knowing anything about knights
>Sun Tzu

>Implying knights were NOT summoned up to enforce the collection of unfair taxes, kill innocent people, and burn down farmsteads in the name of their lords and kings.
>one bad egg in a dozen means all should be thrown away


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>horsefuckers gather and discuss military technology and tactics of Equestria and write stuff about it
I have found a new favourite thread.
Also, do you think the Canterlot guards are armoured in bronze, or gilded steel?
>General Writefag the Fourth's story thus far


This question is relevant to my interests.

It depends on whether you see the Royal Guard as a small, primarily ceremonial group or an actual branch of a larger military organization.
Only one kind of armor I would take
The idea of a militarized equestria will never not be laughable to me.
Is this a Chivalry thread now?
Chivarly's chat is a real trip. It's like a slice of 4chan amputated itself and grew another body. In fact, I've seen blatant 4chan maymays.
That's ok.
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This one, to accommodate my warboner.
No, my Lord!

I think they are made of gilded steel or yellow brass.

Since they lack a decent muzzle and neck protection, i guess they're only ceremonial.
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Careful kid, you'll poke your eye out.
>not knowing its deadspace
Play more video games faggot
General Writefag the Fourth return to us in good health ;-;
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General Writefag IV of the 1st Horsefucker Auxiliary division, report!
I love armor and all, but it won't hold much ground against a real war machine...
This guy gives so little fucks, he gone into negative numbers.
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>All these sunfags posting their armor.

Fine by me. I'll just find me gravity hammer.
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>"Im honestly not sure how to feel about these hu-manz Luna, I mean, they just appear out of nowhere and start worshiping us as well as many of our other little ponies, an-Luna?"
>Cut to Luna laughing straight up Skeletor levels of evil laughter as lunafag army is cheering around her like the hyenas cackling for Scar in the lion king

It was all k though, save for the constant duels and challenges to mortal kombat to prove who is the better husbando, kinda like the crusades except if everyone really wanted to fuck Jesus....so the crusades
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the war-boner brigade is a tryed and true Zerg force, its kinda like the blitzkrieg except everyones super horny

Weird how prepared I would be for this exact situation.
>Have a full set of non-decorational plate armour
>trained with a hand and a half sword
>know which princess is the best one

Couldn't go wrong.
>mfw i own a bearded axe.

skirmish fighting when? someone gotta hit em in the rear and scout afterall.
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Who the hell is that? He looks like pic related but I can't tell.

Let's just stop talking about it and go do it. I'll meat you at the thing in an hour.
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this is parallel to my interests
Its the black knight from white knight chronicles, tis an OK rpg...but just ok

i dont like what your implying here...
Alright guys, got my armor on, we're good.

Ah, someone who's using their head right here.
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Don't be scared, the guy's legit.
i think ill pass either way,meeting people in undislosed places is not my forte.
>not wearing a sallet
>All these knight armors
>Not wanting to be a mercenary warband of horsemen from Saddle Arabia
>Not wanting to call yourself something cheesy and cringy at the same time like Anonlukes for mamlukes or Anonissari for janissari
>Not wanting to get hired by Celestia and Luna as an auxiliary force to the regular army and get an income from the royal coffers, the battlefield loot and the captive stallions we'd sell to the slavers to send them to forced labor, while we keep the mares for our own amusement
>Not wanting to yell "Ayylmao Akbar" before charging in and never tell anyone that we're in fact making fun of Earth's sandniggers

Or we could just dress in black-and-red outfits and call ourselves The Edgelords. Pick your poison.
why not the griffons? griffons could probably appreciate human technology and violence better then any other race.
Or you know...knight.
Alright, fuck it. You know what? We're gonna be an army of naked faggots. But not just naked, no. We'll paint our whole body (skin and hair) with our waifus' colours. We're gonna stitch horns and wings with some cheap wal-mart duct tape, preferably silver duct-tape and more preferably over the paint. We're gonna carry shields in the shape of the only thing that we praise read: worship the most: the sunbutt. We'll place Bad Dragon's horsecocks at the end of our pikes, and cover our chest with a cuirass made out of steel scales and personal cumrags. Specifically, the cuirass will only cover our torso: we don't want to hide our actual meat-swords, we need them strong and steady, ready to thrust into the hardest of armors and penetrate inside our foe's flesh, with firm pelvic movements that would deflower someone else's daughter from miles away. We will wear warpaints too. Our left shoulder will read
while on our forehead we will paint the sacred winking mare pussy that guides us through the darkness of our masturbation sessions. And as a last defense technique, we will cover ourselves in lube, so that we can be as soggy and slippery to our foes as your hands when you talk to a real girl.
And, you may be asking yourself: what will our name be? Well, shut the fuck up for a second before I chain you to the wall and pull your testicle hair off one by one and I may tell you.
We shall be the strongest of Equestria! We shall be the proudest scum of humanity! And everyone will fear and cringe at the very whispering of our name!
They will learn to fear the Plot Twisters!
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well id certainly run like fuck from an army like that,namely to make sure they didn't force me to join their ranks.
and we follow prophet Moothammed
On a scale of one to nope, I would have to give that a "Fuck that shit".
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This is what I see...
The prophecy is slowly coming together...
All this talk of armor..what of our transports? I vote viking long-ships
i mean i do to but...why are they carrying them into a fortification charge?
>yell "Ayylmao Akbar" before charging in
That cracked me up.
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the fort is actually on a lake, they're running at the lake so they can get into the fort from behind it unopposed

>there are no walls on the lakeside

smart of the vikings,dumb of the others to not have walls EVERYWHERE.
Praise the S U N

kek, used to play that game a fuck ton, but then autists became way too common

I'd imagine gilded ceremonial armor
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Crusade when?
>ayylmao akbar
>maximum kek
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>You will never stand amongst hundreds of horsefuckers clad in various armors and weaponry
>You will never fight an unknown enemy
>You will never get that pure rush of adrenaline right before the two hoards of being clash to start a bloody drawn out fight
>You will never caress the cold dead bodies of the friends you made
>You will never fight for Celestia, nor Luna
>You will never aid in any cause be it just or defiled
>You will never come back to your waifu to tell her of the wondrous sights you have seen whilst venturing in the name of anyone
>You will never have friends in the Royal Guard
>You will never receive any accolades for your faith, bravery, or act
>You will never come back from the fields of fighting bruised, battered, and tired
>You will never plunge your sword / mace / spear / arrows / halberds into the enemies of harmony
>You will never pledge your allegiance to any Sun or Moon deity
>You will never know the joys of victories nor the heart-breaks of defeats
>You will never serve along side Celestias best knights and mages
>You will never spill blood nor tear on Equestria's pure and magical soil
>You will never see the sun and moon rise and fall at the whim of Celestia and Luna
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>you be anon.
>well,one anon anyways.
>there seems to be a lot of anons lately.
>you,currently,are sailing across the great,vast skies of equestrias borders on the raiding airship known as the “GriffonFucker”.
>you did not pick the name,nor do you find it appropriate,given your job of raiding pony settlements.
>some say you and the crew of the GriffonFucker were on the griffon kingdoms payroll,a baseless claim you only supported on payday.
>you personally had only gone over to the griffons in hopes of siding with a race more...understanding,of the humans need for violence.
>the rest of this lot were just griffonfuckers.
>fucking gilda wasn't much of a fighter it turns out.
>now,those humans recruited into equestrias armed forces? They were fighters.
>luckily,you had avoided direct combat,the griffon kingdoms who you only worked for on payday had a bit better of a war industry,so they had been able to equip you and your fellow raiders with lower tech firearms and even a few cannons much sooner then the horsefuckers even had the plans drawn down.
>you had to admit,they were more...noble,then you were.
>even the gildafags at least followed the others examples,running off to pester their waifu.
>you,on the other hand,had taken the more edgy,instead of autistic route,going where you thought you could best let out all the pent up human aggression onto a world a bit less expecting of it.
>the griffons,who you only work for once a week,were all to happy to accept you and the griffonfuckers into their ranks,unofficially and in exchange for quite a bit of technological “secrets”.
>no matter,while you were no captain,you currently had a life you quite enjoyed,sailing around the sky,firing cannons at unsuspecting pony villages,then dropping down to take everything they owned of value.
>thank fuck those places never had large garrisons,especially recently,with equestrias military finally putting out their own firearms.
>you were quite certain more and better /k/unts had decided to defend equestria instead of join your merry band,and you didn't exactly take up this job with a fair fight in mind.
>you turn as a horn blares,three short bursts.
>you smile,the familiar sound of a spotted target ringing in your ears.
>looks like you had a some raiding to do.
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Best Armor
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Out the way heathens!
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Not with that attitude you silly cunt.
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>cleave at shoulder
>blade gets caught
>upward thrust towards back or guts
>blade gets caught, most likely penetrates
>upward swing into armpit
>arm is gone
>stab at groin
>you're castrated
>stab at ass
>asshole enlarges by size of blade

but its le magicul fantasy armer u cant kill it XDDD
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>le magicul fantasy armer
In le magicul fantasy horsey land? Whhaaaattt who would have guessed???
>Capta : Epone
so hows this work? we get telefragged to Equestria together and along the way we decide what armor and weapons we want? Do our bodies get morphed into peak physical prowess? If so pic related
i think most anons have settled for "realistic" boundaries on technology. however in a magical world full of magical ponies said boundaries get blurred and stomped into dust.

id also assume you gotta train like normal. then again,magic might help with that.
>Lordgood's art
Mah sandniggas
>"I just don't get it Despit, one moment were flying out south and the next we get orders to drop everything and retreat back home?"
>"I'm not sure either Thorn some of the other legion captains have been saying its because of those crazy human warbands that have been roving around"
>"They'd pull us back for that? Are they really that bad?"
>"Apparently so, the entire 3rd battalion got shot down with canonfire...and then eaten"
>"By the friggin trade winds! The fuck is up with those things?"
>"Hard to say, they just showed up one day and pledged themselves to the ponies without missin a beat"
>"The hell would they be serving the ponies for?"
>"Your not gonna believe me, but apparently they just really really really like ponies"
eww what is that shit?
>muh armour
I can only imagine what a sight we would be charging down a hill, all in various degrees of nakedness.

Though the Faraam armour gives me a raging boner.

Tis was a different time.
Are we gonna let it die already? No one else is gonna contribute with some greens about a warband of neckbeards pledging their loyalty to the sunbutt and the moonbutt?

I'm ready to answer to all of them in the most insane, retarded and disturbing ways possible to man.
General Writefag the Fourth is kill... RIP thread
( ;-;)7
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>Not Sphener

Pls, Sphener is best angel in FFH2.
He's god tier
"Ivan look at my horse! it has horn! I want to make readings with it!"

"Fuck you Dimitri! Rainbow horse is best horse! I want to cum inside Rainbow steed"

"This Yellow one would be of great lookings with a cock underneath it"

"The fuck are these three of doings?"
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Indeed. And when he will complete his pony mod for the game 0AD, he's gonna reach an even higher level of basedness.
Oh, and thank you for reminding me where was my pic related from.

>You truly are a cruel and merciless men. You showed no pity for my sides.
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Alright, I'm gonna go sleep now but I'll drop an idea for the lovely amerifags monitoring this thread.
>You are anonikov
>Your companions- I mean, your comrades too are anonikovs
>You are a mercenary company of Slavnons and have somehow reached Equestria
>You basically were a bunch of Slav horsefuckers on a cruise in the Bermuda Triangle and, as per usual, the spontaneous combustion of niggers in the area created a portal to Equestria
>Well, since the whole ship's staff was made out of nigger sailors, it was either going through the portal or end up lost in the middle of the ocean.
>So now all of you are here in Equestria and are looking for employ
>For some reason all of you were wearing typical Rus armor when you got to the other side of the portal I'm the fucking gamemaster here, quit your mouthfarts or I'll make an entire assortment of clothing with your collective foreskin and are now looking for employment as a mercenary warband
>Since you're horsefuckers, you decide to head to Cunterlot and ask for employment in the Equestrian army and, to your joy, Sunbutt and Moonbutt agree, but you have to set te conditions first
>How will you be paid? Will you be employed as an auxiliary force or as a main army in its own? Will you be honourable and merciful knights or cruel and pitiless raiders against your enemy? What will you do with the spoils of war (goods, money, captives, salvaged weaponry and armors, etc)?
Discuss and give new life to our Lazarus thread.
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>I'm the fucking gamemaster here, quit your mouthfarts or I'll make an entire assortment of clothing with your collective foreskin
This thread is god tier.
Fun fact before I really go to bed: we albanians, when someone is spouting bullshit and pretends us to believe them, tend to respond to them with what would roughly translate into "stop farting (with your mouth)".As for the foreskin part, it has nothing to do with my people, but since when I posted this thing here >>22047508, I wanted to add that we could also wear capes, robes or drapes made out of the foreskins of our fallen foes to identify our veterans, since it would require a huge amount of deaths and circumcition to make one apparel piece.
Ok now I'll stop shitposting, see ya tomorrow and keep it alive my good nignogs.
>"Then we are in agreement commander?"
"Yes, Yes gold and riches, political nonsense and all that...but what we really need is to set our standing princess"
"I gotta know im helpin a princess I wana serve, a princess my boys can follow!"
>"What is it you want?"
"A hug!"
>"Excuse me, I believe I misheard you...a hug?"
>"Why exactly a hug?"
"Why not? huggins a normal thing, especially for you ponies, although its more of neck nuzzlin thing, but its universal to just about everything"
>"Im not giving you hug commander, thats just silly"
"Fine, no hug no army"
>"You cant be serious!"
"Listen here lady platinum, I need ta know your a real peop-er pony person, Im just askin for a hug, a normal friendly thing! Your the one makin it wierd by gettin all hostile!"

>"I just....what sort of creature asks for that?....A hug?....really?"
>"OH I'm quite unsure princess!? Perhaps the same CREATURE that offered the same hug to the earth pony princess, who was more than happy to accept it, unlike you! And now has an entire human army serving her!"

Equestrian human politics are fun
Please don't abandon us like General Writefag
I won't if you keep this thread alive. Ok, here's the situation: over here in Italy right now is almost 8:40 and I'm leaving home in a bit. I will be back at 13:00 italian hour, I think it should be +1GMT, so that means roughly 4 hours and a half from now. I may or may not be able to get back earlier, but no promises, so keep bumping for the next 4 hours and remember to delete your bumps to avoid reaching the post limit early on. See ya m8s!
Bump before lunch, then I'll get back to our regularly scheduled shitposting.
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I know it's shit but I just wanted to throw it out there.
It looks the most 'normal' like it could have been a real suit, but it still manages to show the 'crafted' look to it.
It's doesn't look too 'off the shelve' but it doesn't look haphazardly put together.
Aside from this, the Elite Knight Set from Dark Souls look up to par with the 'crafted' look.
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don t know about the soldiers,but the lider should wear this
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>Serving Equestria.
>not striking fear in the hearts of whole nation where only immortal princesses know what war is.
>Not making them hate humans so they stay pure.
This is the only right armor to wear.
>Not wanting to protect them and fight their wars in exchange for innocent and non-sexual cuddles and snuggles with them
>Not wanting to actually build a relationship with them and get a chance to finally be close to your waifu without needing the skills of a tulpamancer and so get to have sexy time with her
You can literally live with them without corrupting them by behaving properly.
>But muh race is evul and currupt
We're discussing about one single warband of horsefuckers entering Equestria (which we call warband more for comedy reason than for actual military experience and amount of guts required to step into the batterufierdu), not the whole of humanity getting diplomatic and commercial contact with them. Think about it as Mount and Blade: Warband, you're entering a territory that would be otherwise relatively inaccessible, but in Calradia's case it's because of the distance from whatever other countries there are in that universe and because of the wars; Equestria instead is simply a completely different world.
im already with ya buddy. join me and the griffon fags on coastal raids,nothing says "fear me" like burning entire villages into dust.
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This. I would want to go to Equestria with at least a battalion sized force of Horsefuckers to battle with and gain a reputation for our ferociousness in battle and brilliant tactics against magical and non-magical alike. I was thinking we would be organized like the army or Lord Dain's army from the Hobbit.

Nice, but I was thinking this kind of formation when dealing with hordes of Diamond dogs, Minotaurs ect.

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We be these guys in RL probably
Except we'd all be naked with the foreskin of our enemies draped on our backs as capes
do any of the species of equestria even have foreskins?
If there's any good drawfags lurking in here, please show yourself and do your magic
Alright fuckers, I did a thing. Here we have the main faggots of the Anonikov Warband:

>Warlord Vladinon - Leader of the warband and master tulpamancer, he nominated his tulpa Sundong Shimmer "War Counsellor";
>Cavalry officer Borislavnon - Skinny commander of the broomstick-mounted ranks and notable shitposter, he is believed by some to be in fact the mischievous Lector after he was seen painting slugs and turds purple;
>Spearwall officer Dmytriynon - The fat manchild in command of the main infantry ranks. Because of his size he was assigned the spearwall, which is a more stationary unit type than the rest of the army. Also he's ugly as fuck and that would scare the broomsticks that the anonikovs ride into battle;
>Skirmish corps officer Sergeynon - A 13 y/o kid that shouldn't even have been on that cruise ship in the first place. Since there was no other use for him, he was assigned the title of commander of the archers, slingers and javelineers of the warband;
>Flank infantry officers Andreynon and Ivanon - Ex /mlp/ janitors that are now stuck in a world without internet and surrounded by colourful anime donkeys and sexually-ravenous neckbeards. They are the men in command of the dildo-wielding swordsmen that form the army's flanks;

Also we're gonna take some elements from this post >>22047508 and so we're gonna wear medieval rus armor with the foreskin capes for our officers and veterans as explained earlier, wield dildos as swords and have pikes with horsecock vibrators as spearpoints. We're gonna scratch the lube for now as we're armored and not naked. The tattoos are optional, they can't be seen under our helmets and shoulderguards. At the very least we could wear decorational necklaces made out of buttplugs, anal beads and solidified cumballs pretend it's magic, and leave it at that. The shield remains the same, a ponybutt-shaped shield.
Any suggestions on how to improve our warband?
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Get /fit/
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>Get /fit/
And lose our advantage on psychological warfare? Nah.
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Stay based ma nigga
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I have a stiffy for Lorica Segmentata and a bigger one for Romans with guns.
moar pls
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Nigga status: muh
I can't do anything more than a bump right now.
>being an out of shape, combat ineffective fatass
>having a psychological advantage

what's the correlation?
>page 10
Bump just because
>You looked at the report from Ponyville
>Half of the town was burning
>Property destroyed without a second thought
>The town was forced to evacuate
>This was the worst that could happen during the Great Dragon Migration, when a few rowdy dragons start to drift off, but that hadn't happened in over 500 years
>This was no hydra mating season or natural disaster
>This was not the nightmare moon, Discord, or Queen Chrysalis
>This was the act of a foreign power
>One of a race you had never even heard of
>From the Report Twilight made, A portal opened in the middle of town and then out pour over a thousand of these giant, bipedal creatures
>They poured into the town by some magical means and then everything descended into madness
>You sigh as you relook over the pictures of all the damages, as well as a few pictures of the "Hew-ma-n-s"
>They stand like minotaur, but have slight height difference and have no fur
>And then there are those odd looking legs
>those lower appendages are unlike any legs you have ever scene
>Your stomach reaches at the very sight of them
>You glance over the losses
>Over 4.5 million bits in property loss
>Casualties are only in the lower double digits
>It seems like a couple ponies got caught in the chaos and were hurt, before one of the humans picked them up and dropped them outside of the revelries
>These creatures are quite odd
>They fought and get carried away in their mindless fighting, yet have go out of their way to protect my little ponies
>It has only been a few hours since Twilight said they have arrived
>Currently Ponyville has been evacuated and the Royal Equestrian Guard are currently mobilizing to make a quick counter attack on the foreigner mass
>You sign as you telekenetically roll up the many scroll laid across you desk in your private chambers
>You pull out a blank parchment and write orders for the Guard to keep their distance from the town and only observe from afar
>These creatures have a lot of potential
>You smile as green fire takes your orders to the Head Constable
>You are Princess Celestia
>And you just might have a use for these humans
Looks like I'll stay a while and lurk...
>You are Princess Celestia
>It has been approximately a full day since the arrival of the alien forces
>They're rapid summoning and erratic arrival had led to make quite the scene
>They overwhelmed the local town forces and drove all the ponies out
>The guard we had there was not a large unit to be fair, and holding off a horde of the size was well outside of their power
>Thankfully the Elements of harmony were not harmed in any way and helped lead the evacuation efforts
>Although Shining Armor, as well as your trusted generals and advisers suggested a quick and powerful show of force, you didn't think that was necessary
>You are not quite sure what sort of threat these outsiders might pose, but from a few of the reports, you have a glimmer of hope for these creatures
>And your faith has been rewarded, as you have received reports of the riots subsiding and the rampage of the humans has fully broken
>This silence was persistent for a few more hours before what seemed like another riot was going to erupt.
>Thankfully the already ravaged town didn't suffer much as there were no reports of fires being started in any buildings
>You made strict orders to not approach Ponyville, meaning there would not be any intelligence gathering
>You didn't want to risk anypony's capture or to agitate the humans into attacking the forces you stationed outside of the town
>To everypony else, you might have seemed like you knew something everypony didn't
>Your cool and calm demeanor might have seemed as though you had a few aces up your sleeves
>But in all honesty, you have been on edge the moment you heard about the situation
>This new force could possibly destroy all of Equestria
>A mere by product of their infighting has lead to a town in ruins

Sorry if I write in circles, it might sound a bit redundant and boring a bit, but I promise it'll start getting to the point soon.
>And by giving them time to organize, you might have increased their capacity for death and destruction
>And unstoppable force of disaster from what you have read of their strength and speed.
>you shake your head
>No. You cannot think that way, not now. Not when you are about to meet them
>The most unexpected thing happened this morning.
>One of their own came out and confronted our forces to give us a message
>The humans requested my presence
>When pressed for details, he wouldn't give any... or as some of the officers nearby reported, he couldn't give any
>You don't know what to expect, but it would seem neither do they
>With that in mind, it is unlikely that this is any trap
>Your contingent of six guards are on edge as they lead you on the road to the belly of the beast
>They are nervous, having heard of strength that can crush building and speed that can match Rainbow Dash
>The scenery doesn't ease their nerves or yours as you walk through barren streets and building rubble
>As you make a turn onto a street the leads to the middle of town you come across a sight that nearly makes your hearts stop
>In the middle of the street infront of the remains of the Ponyville library there stood a pile of debris two stories high
>And stood all ontop of it and around it were humans as far down the street as you could see
>The mere sight of their overwhelming numbers and their large size made me want to tremble
>But I have faced too many foes and averted disaster too many times to crumble so easily

Shit sorry, I tend to start to write in first person. I wanted to stay in classic 2nd person, but I can't stop myself. Sorry.
>I stood tall and asked to the human who sat at the peak of the rubble
>He wore clothes that were torn, dirty, and unkempt
>He had on loose unbuttoned shirt and black pants, as well as a black belt with a thin metal belt buckle frame
"Are you the creatures who have terrorized my subjects and forced them from their homes?"
>The human who sat upon the throne of destruction looked at me in the eyes and calmly asked in a deep ominous tone
>"And we are?"
>He gave me predator's smile showing his fangs
>A chill went down my spine as I stuggle to keep my composure and he slowly stood up
>He turned to the hordes around him with the tranquil winds broke in front of him
>his towering presence weighed heavy on me and my guards as we try to not cowar in front of these beasts
>He looks upon the masses of humans behind him and....
>He starts to chuckle
>Then laugh
>Then the entire gathering of humans laugh in hysteria
>It becomes nearly overwhelming how loud they are
>If I were not supposed to look like a the ruler of a nation and ancient godess, I would have dropped to put my hooves over my ears like a few of my guard have
>But while I was angry at the circumstances, I felt my fear melt away
>This was not the laughter of an army of daemon like I might have suspected
>This was more akin to the laughter of an audience to a comedy routine
>After a few moments of waiting the laughter subsided, and their leader looked over to the crowd
>"Oh man, we got her good."
>"She scared"
>One of the human's broke from the crowd and took a few steps towards me
>He was rather large even for a human
>He also had fur restricted mostly to his head that seemed typical of humans, but also stemmed from his neck and chin
>I was bracing myself for whatever this creature might hurl at me, when I heard the last thing I expected from this creature
>"Sorry bout that princess. Do you want to some some tea before we get to talking?"
>He spoke so calmly and in such a hospital manner it took me off
>I made sure not to pause for too long, before I nodded to him
"Yes, some tea would be absolutely wonderful."
>What came next would be the most exhausting diplomatic mission I had ever attempted.
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>serving in a foreign military
>fighting for xenos
absolutely heretical
Not everyone can be a fanatical cultist praising a corpse
>At one point I thought discussing boders amd territories with a Gryphon lord was the most miserable duty I could have
>I was poorly mistaken
>Dealing with countries and foreign emissaries is a breeze compared to the frustration of these mongrels
>When they asked for a meeting with them, they didn't say what group they were or who I was specifically meeting with
>That was a mystery until I figured out, that there was inf act no group and no representatives
>It was me and the horde
>Every single one of them
>I turned from being the Princess of Equestria to a teacher in a classroom full of foals, only on a colossal scale
>Constantly they'd bombard me with questions
>They would bicker amongst each other and it was nearly impossible to create any order
>The first meeting had gone on for three hours and only four questions were ever asked
>The first two were from them to me, which I thought was fair, considering I wanted to ask questions of my own
>Their questions were, "Do you have an incestuous relationship with your sister" and "Would you ever consider peeing in our mouths"
>The amount of questions that I have for them escalated so much that I... I... there are few words that can be said.
>All the while during these talks, there was shouting of a phrase, "Praise the Sun" over and over again.
>I waited and planned for the arrival of my sister for a thousand years
>I'd like to think I am a patient mare
>But it would seem that even my limits could be met and pushed, in less than three hours
>If I had not called for a recess...
>I have to return to their camp in ten minutes
>I still have to talk to them and ask them more questions, but it fells to unbearable
>There has to be a better way
>I am only one Princess...
>Wait a second....

I think I'm done for the night. Please give feedback.
Kill myself?
Kill yourself.
Story is kill now
Yo' man I was just jokin'
Then get a better punchline
>I didn't want to waste much time
>Bringing Luna and Twilight here was easy
>Cadance was still ruling over the Crystal Empire, so it wasn't feasible to bring her here on such short notice.
>Twilight, Luna, and I all talked and created a plan. It was unreasonable to continue playing with the mob, so we thought it would be more efficient in doing a one on one questioning with the humans and then gather notes from there to determine what to make of these new creatures
>We walked into the camp with a few of our guards and asked for a few volunteers
>And just as I feared, we were swarmed with willing participants.
>We each took two of the humans and left back for the Guard camp, so we could talk in peace and quiet

Now I'm officially done for the night. Going to get sleep
Its good, I like it.
Thread theme

I want Lucius Vorenus to guide us to victory in the name of Celestia and Luna
>inb4 civil war between the princesses ensues like with Caesar and Pompey

>Lorica Segmentata
>Romans with guns
I would berry my dick so deep inside that cuirass whoever could pull it out would become the new Caesar.
I think there's a guy on Deviantart that does some sort of story (mostly artwork but I think there was written stuff too) about the ancient cultures with futuristic technology, with gun-wielding romans as one of them, but sadly I can't find him anymore.

Now that I think of it, the scare tactic would've been effective in the "naked horsefuckers with tattoos and dildo-pikes" scenario instead of the "ironclad slavnons" one. Disregard my previous statements, it is time to getting of /fit/.

>>22076989 >>22077021 >>22077257 >>22077466 >>22077659 >>22077670 >>22077826 >>22078408
Amazing so far

Also page 8 bump with new pic
Well, I dun goofd and accidentally took amphetamines instead of aspirin before going to bed. I'm sitting here bored out of my mind, so I think I'll write something.
Nevermind, found the guy http://crisisomega.deviantart.com/
Please do.

Captcha: phapa
>Well, you don't know how it happened, but it did.
>You're in Equestria.
>With about 500 other members of your favourite equine themed image board
>In the Canterlot dungeons
>Not naturally, of course
>The first thing you remember is coming to in a small pasture outside Ponyville
>You stumbled for a bit before being detained by a group of soldiers
>You felt like booping their nose or something to see if they were real, but a firm ram in the gut from one of them was proof enough
>It knocked the wind out of you, and the last thing you recall seeing is a faint glowing coming from one of their heads
>You awoke in the dungeons, and this is where you met your compatriots
>They bickered among themselves, trying to determine the next course of action
>Some wanted to plea innocence, some wanted to become concubines
>Looking at this rabble, you knew the only way you were getting out of this place was as a team
>You head to the epicenter of this shitstorm and look for the fattest, greasiest neckbeard you can find
>Your eye catches a 300 pound monstrosity, red in the face, breathless from proclaiming the superiority of his waifu
>You charge towards him, like a quarterback against the opposing line, and with one great push, you knock him onto his back
>The yelling stops, and you take this opportunity to stand atop the neckbeard
"Horsefuckers! Wizards! Anons! Lend me your ears! We have all come to the land of our dreams."
"However, rather than being greeted as potential new friends, we were seen as such threats as to be confined upon entry."
"The peop-ponies of Equestria would not have done so with such little hesitance unless we were seen as a serious threat, or they were under a serious threat."
"If we wish to win the favor of our new peers, we must appear organized, civilized, and strong. I propose that we go to the princess and offer ourselves as soldiers for hire."
"What say you?"
>There's a long pause, followed by someone raising their hand
"This isn't class, but you can speak."
>"Right. Who says you get to be the leader of all of us?"
>Thinking for a moment, you step down from the neckbeard's gut, and reply
"Well, one: I got all of you to stop fighting and listen to a single message."
"And... I got quints in the last portal to Equestria thread. That's how we got here."
>You pulled that last one out of your ass. You just hope they believe you.
>A young man steps forward. Pock faced, and a trilby upon his long hair, tipped his hat and said "I'll tip to that."
>Others soon joined him, and you watched with a mixture of pride and amusement as 500 equine aficionados clapped for you
>Felt good to be in charge
>"We still have one major obsthacle," said a lispy girl, straightening her glasses
>"How do we prove ourthelves to Princeth Celethtia?"
>You were able to make out enough of that to hear something about talking to Celestia
"Well... we can gather the smartest, or strongest, or most tech savvy in here, and we can ask for an audience."
>"Eh, good a call ath any," she replied.
>Looking around, some of them were fit. Most, not so much. Strength at least made itself known in this sense, but smarts were harder to pick out.
"Okay, who here can make weapons, or use them?"
>Some muttering amongst the crowd, followed by a scrawny young man presenting himself.
>"Well... I've studied the seige equipment of the ancient and medieval world. Much of it is equal to or superior to what the ponies have, as far as I can tell."
"Okay, so we have an engineer. Anyone good with a sword or spear?"
>Stepping forward in a long trench coat, a man says "I trained myself how to use katanas and greatswords."
"You'll be the trainer. Now we need some muscle."
>Your statement is met by a 6 foot stack of chiseled muscle in black pants, jackboots & a Fluttershy t-shirt
>"I am Sergei. Before come to Equestria, I was of trainings in Russian military. I could snap a man's neck like dry twig."
"Holy fuck was I blessed with my choices. Okay, you're coming with. Just say that, & feel free to flex a little."
>The scrawny young man speaks up again, saying "I hope this works."
>The feeling was mutual, buddy
>All that was left was to get a guard's attention
>For whatever reason, they thought a massive holding cell with 500 aliens didn't need to be vigilantly watched
"Guard! Guard! I would like to speak with you!"
>A few moments pass before the creaking of a large oaken door opening & closing echoes, followed by the clip-clopping of hooves down a flight of stairs
>You see a pair of ponies, a pegasus clad in armor, & a unicorn, in dark robes, with the latter providing light in the otherwise dim dungeon
>They stop about 10 feet from the bars
"Stay back. Get backup if they get violent."
The unicorn's horn grew a bit brighter, as the pegasus stepped towards the bars
>"Are you ready to confess your crimes?"
"Of what crimes are we being accused?"
>"Inquisitor, read them the accused crimes."
>Stepping forward, the unicorn pulls forth a scroll
>"The foreign invaders, which have proclaimed themselves as 'humans' have been accused of the act of espionage, a most heinous crime."
"We aren't spies. We have no idea why we're here, but we would like to meet with the Princess and offer ourselves as soldiers."
>"Soldiers? Ha, that's ridiculous! What makes you think you can match the strength of a Canterlot guard?"
"I'm bigger than you. And I have hands. Little grabby things to stop you."
>The pegasus snarled, seeing that his helmet barely reached the height of your elbow
>"Inquisitor, these are the only who-mens that have been found, correct?"
>"I think the Princess would like to speak with you."
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never thought id say this,but hitler,continue what your doing!
I will in a bit. I was busy.
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>You and your small ensemble of people were released, fed, and allowed to bathe
>"If you're going to speak to Her Majesty, you must at least be in presentable condition."
>After getting dressed, your hands were bound, along with the hands of those coming with you
>Explaining to them that there's still a distrust between the humans and ponies did not stop your new peers from panicking when they were blindfolded
>You felt a nudge at your back as you stumbled blindly, and the nudges continued, guiding you up some stairs, nearly tripping once or twice
>Rough cobblestone and the smell of mildew gave way to fresh air and smooth polished floors
>After an indeterminate period of time, you and your team are brought to a halt
>The sound of massive doors being slowly swung open echoes throughout the halls
>Must be at the throne room already
>"Your Highness, the who-mens have requested an audience with you."
>You may be blindfolded, but you still felt warmth and light on your face and body as if you were standing outside on a warm spring day
>"Bring them forward."
>Her voice booms and fills you with a sense of dread
>Her voice was more or less the same, but she sounded... colder, dour even
>You slowly walk forward, hearing your partner's footsteps alongside you
>"That's good. You may remove their blindfolds."
>As the cloth is removed from your face, you look up, and see her
Hey anon, feel free to return to this story any time, or other anons can write. I'm in need of rest.
Meh okay sure, I'll write a bit in an hour. maybe three posts and then I'll call it.
Bump before bedtime
>Thus stood the Knights of the Grey.
>Noble Anons that held back the tide of the dark with holy steel and will unyielding.
>Who gave the last breaths of their lives in defense of the realm of Equestria.
>Here they made their stand against the Black Horde. Here they held it back. Exchanging time for precious lifeblood.
>So that Noble Celestia, Diarch of her Realm, Lady of the Sun and Luna, Mistress of the Night, could unite the Elements once more and forever drive back the horrors that they faced.
>In perpetuity we honour their sacrifice. Until the Sun burns away and the Moon does still shall they be remembered as saviours of the Realm.
-A carving placed at the Gates of Canterlot. Said to be placed there over a millennia ago.

>Celestia and Luna visit the gateway every anniversary of the Knights last stand. It is a quiet and sombre procession. But no other pony really understands or remembers why they do it. Only the Diarchs remember the heroism of these strange aliens that fell in their service. Only they remember that once, in better days, true heroes walked the lands of Equestria.
Sorry guys right now I'm just not feeling it. I'll try to get you guys something by the end of the night, but I don't expect much. Sorry.
bump for the writefags
page 8 bump
from the grave bump
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"Are these reports true?"
>"I'm sorry princess, but we've witnessed it with our own eyes, the Hue-manz have taken to...capturing ponies"
"For what purpose!? Have they demands!?"
>"We could only wish princess...they seem to be mostly males, and if there are any females within their army they don't seem to care..."
"What are you getting at captain?"
>"T-the humans princess...one our scouts came back, she said the entire camp would take turns or just fall upon the captured mares all at once, p-petting them relentlessly...sometimes even cuddling or snuggling them!"
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What a CATastrophe
Your trip bruh, take care of it.
I'm a sucker for these kinds of stories--seeing how future generations react to the heroes we followed after they died or something. That said, this one got me without needing that "I already like it" bonus. This is good green, Anon. These are some good feels.
Sorry oh great Anon
The changeling horde will feel the steel of ten thousand Anons.

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>implying I wouldn't fug dem pones raw
>you are Ragnon The Green Presumably the worst navigator ever conceived
>You and your men have landed in a strangely familiar land.
>You look east to see a lonely mountain, with what you assume is a stronghold built on its side
"Set up Camp here, Ünfnon See if there is a nearby village and with luck a map"
>You Turn back to look at your ship with great disdain
>Shes been roughed up pretty bad and probably won't be sailing anytime soon
>You walk towards ship to see how long the food may last
>You feel A tap on your shoulder
"Dammit Ünfnon Di-Di...."
>You see a ponylike creature with wings staring you in the eye
"What in god's name are you"
One by one, the free lands of Equestria fell to the changling horde...

But there were some...who resisted...

A Last Alliance of /k/nights and horsefuckers marched against the armies of Chrysalis, and on the slopes of the queen's hive...

...They fought for the freedom of all Ponykind.
Thought I'd give expanding on it a try.

Equestria. Days long gone by.
>There were a thousand of them, Celestia idly noted. All stood in serried ranks at the gates of her capitol. All creatures she had not once seen before, in all her centuries wandering the great lands of Equus.
>She had no idea where they came from, only that they were here now. Dressed in a panoply of arms that would beggar any nation perhaps have her (and her sisters) own. Fine plate, layered with thin silver leaf and gold embelleshments coated each and every one head to foot. They stood tall with long hafted polearms, pennants and banners fluttering on their shafts, sigils of eagles, griffons, unicorns, bulls and a riot of others all on a field of serene white field, all snapping and cavorting in the breeze that ran across the mountains.
>Well crafted swords, maces or axes rested at their hips, all well worn, she could tell, having tasted flesh in battle before.
>Celestia approached the host, as her duty bid her, her beloved sister at her side. To ask her strange new arrivals of their business at this place.
>As she approached them, the gates were enveloped in a soft green glow. Its guards opening them with due diligence to allow their Ladyship to pass.
>With her powerful eyesight, the Solar Diarch saw the ranks of the unknown host part slightly. A warrior breaking from their vigil to greet the arriving dignitaries. Handing his great halberd to another of his kin he approached the princess.
>Over the fifty paces between the two he calmly reached up and grasped the face concealing, winged helm and taking it off. Revealing a face that reminded Celestia of some of the great apes seen in her travels, only... different, the hair on this one were only atop his head and around his mouth in a neatly trimmed beard. His facial features more angular and oddly patrician, but clearly battered from a hard life of fighting. Littered as it was with numerous scars, great and small.
>"General The left flank is falling!"
"Goddamit, have them rally behind Celestia's Praetorian guard and have Luna cover their escape"
>"But sir Luna is currently engaged in combat in our rear if she Pulls out our rear will be exposed"
"Then take my personal guard and relieve Luna's forces"
>"But sir That will leave you vulnerable"
"We can't afford to lose anymore and we can't let them gain anymore ground"
"That is an order Squire Now Go"
>You look at the map and moved one of the block of wood on the map closer to your position
>The changeling Forces are currently contained at the moment but your men are tiring and they won't be able to hold out for long
>you hear someone approach you from behind and
"I know you don't want to leave me vulnerable Squire but I can't afford to lose scruffy's band"
>"Oh the squire is long gone General Anon"
>You know that sultry voice, But she couldn't have gotten through our lines
>You look up to see the queen of the changelings herself
"What fo you want Chrysalis"
>She knows you're stalling, though she does humor you
>"Why You of course, Now we can do this the easy way"
>You draw your sword
>She sighs and her horn lights up as you charged her
>Just as you are about to strike her you are knocked back onto the table
>"You humans were always so stubborn"
>He stopped at ten paces of the royal enterage. His features cracking into a happy grin that caused slight creases around his eyes to wrinkle strangely. And he Spoke.
>"Hail and well met rulers of Canterlot. I am Knight Anon. E. Mous, of the Fourth Chan, Knight of the Grey. And I would speak to you on behalf of my brothers."
"Well met Knight Anon, I am Celestia of Canterlot, Lady of the Sun, Diarch of Equestria, with me stands my sister Luna, also of Canterlot, Mistress of the Night and my Co-Ruler."
>A quick and formal "Charmed" came from her sister.
"And we bid you welcome here. But we must ask, what is it that you come to our gates for in such numbers? Armed and armored as such you are we cannot help but worry of your intent."
>A short bark of a laugh broke from the Knights throat.
>"My dear princess', you need not worry that we have come to conquer or do any great mischief on your breathtaking kingdom. My brothers and I have come instead to serve! During our travels in far off lands, long had we heard of the Glories of Canterlot and her Noble and Just rulers. Near Goddess' who guide the very Sun and Moon in the sky! We, that is the Knights of the Grey would request to pledge ourselves to your noble service. To protect a great beacon of light in the Darkness of the world that we find ourselves in."
Page Nine Bump
Continue Writefag

replace jebus with Cthulhu
Or we could not be filthy sandniggers. Let's go with that.
"A few of the humans joined up with the Zebras"
>"So they wont be an issue than? The Zebra aren't exactly known for war"
"Well....we sent an envoy to one of the Savannah tribes, they hadn't been to happy that we were sending units to "steal" magical relics from their ancestors burial grounds and tombs"
"We received a severed leg back"

Tried asking in /tg but got no help, im looking for a pic of a huge warrior dude with a horned helmet fighting a wizard/or someone who was smaller than him, he also was wielding a shield and something that looked like an African hammerhead sword
>Us Private
Edwin Jemison is rolling around headless in his grave son.
Well, I've taken an inexcusable absence from my story. Spoilers in case someone doesn't want to know the plot, the idea is
Celestia accepts Anon and his cohorts as an Auxiliary division, it's Romanized in terms of armor and discipline, and they invade ziggerland. What should ziggerland be called? I've got Mareocco or Maretania so far.
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fuck off carlos
We're waiting
>Princess Celestia, in all her solar glory
>Her white coat shone, almost pearlescent in its brilliance
>Her mane slowly danced about like the northern lights, & just as breathtaking
>And her eyes... like piercing amethysts
>"I am Celestia, ruler of Canterlot. Raiser of the Sun, & Princess of Equestria. What do your people call themselves?"
>Taking a deep breath, you step forward
"I am Anonymous, 1st of his name. A General of the Chan Army, Legion IV. These are my compatriots."
>You gesture behind you to...
>You never learned their names
>"Are you going to introduce us, Anonymous?"
>"I am Alexander, 1st of his name. I serve Anonymous as the head of his engineer's guild."
>She cocked a brow at your lanky spectacled friend
>"His engineer's guild?"
>"Y-yes. I design weapons for the Legion, some of which might interest you."
>You looked over to him
>His palms were sweaty
>knees weak, arms were heavy
>He was starting to stutter already
>"Perhaps I might like to see these designs. Scribe, fetch some parchment & a quill and inkpot for our engineer guest."
>He looks like he's about to crack under the pressure
>you hatch an idea
"Why should we share our military technology with you if you haven't even hired us yet?"
>Smart move
>"Oh? Are you an army looking for employment?"
>Dumb move
>Now you'll look desperate
>good save
>"We'll see what you have to offer, & I may consider."
>You see by now an old stallion, face spattered with ink, has brought a length of parchment, a quill & some ink to Alexander
>He nudges him, & Alex takes the supplies and begins scribbling away
>"Who is this... young man in the coat?"
>You see him step forward, almost with a swagger
>"I am Ronald, 3rd of his name. I am the Quartermaster & trainer of the Chan Legion IV, Equus Natis."
>"Let us hope your soldiers are more disciplined in the field than in the dungeons. Guards loathed their shifts around your sector."
>"I could kill yours before you had chance to rise from your throne."
>You look to Sergei, stonefaced and certain
>"Is that a threat?"
>Celestia's horn glowed, and the room suddenly became unbearably hot
>You await your impending doom, brought about by a fucking Russian Flutterfag
I'll be unable to write for several hours, as I'm hanging with some friends.
bump for the writefags.
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