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Sonata Dusk Thread #2 (Anon x Sonata Dusk)
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You are currently reading a thread in /mlp/ - My Little Pony

Thread replies: 239
Thread images: 38
>"Hey Anon, you're really smart right?"
>"Could you maybe give me some help with my homework, I'll find some way to make it up to you."

http://4archive.org/mlp/thread/22124734 <---- Archive of the 1st thread

-Uncle Kracker
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Ayy lmoa
Well Well Well, if it isn't Kracker.
Shit, did you cap any of your stuff?
don't worry my man, I got all that shit copied and ready to post on here, with modifications needed included. what about you? is everything capped?
I meant as in screencapped. I got al 29 pics of mine, plus some of the thread Highlights. I didn't cap any of yours though, nor my critiques.
observe my repeating digits
I got it saved, I copy and paste everything onto notepad. welp, time to gather my green up and post it onto here to make the thread more "alive".
Repeat what you just said and it may come true!
No it won't
You can never get all the dubs I got.

I'll figure out a way to compile them onto one macro. I think I can do it in paint. Anyway, you get to writing, I'm gonna go grab something to eat.

Oh boy, oh boy! Hell, I might just show my tits this time around.

Also, have an 8am tomorrow, again. So can only stay up till like 10:30.
Kill yourselves
You have tits?
Calling it Sonata Thread 2 is going to get you hated on by people who weren't paying attention. Should've made it clear that this isn't what some fags call a general.

I'm liking kracker's story. Elpam is getting some good feedback so good thing he's writing.
I'm not sure how to feel about this.
You have to do what butch asks, anon.
Dubs confirm it, Uncle. You better have some nice titties for me.
I'm back now. Just check'd those dubs.
Gimme a minute.
Yeah, we figured as much. People will call anything cancer. Generals, writefag b8, waifu tests, anything.
this is for people who didn't get to read my past stuff from the archive and doesn't want to bother to go through with it.

>The rest of the day was simply a blurr though, fortunately enough
>Lunch was shit because you only had enough me for a sack of chips, you'll definetely eat something big when you get back home
>Every session you had, you briefly kept thinking on what you'll do with Sonata or about how difficult it will be to teach her
>And also how you'll handle your hunger.
>But you always winded back to the idea of "seeing what will happen"
>And so...the time arrived, 4 PM
>Heading back to your locker for the last time of the day, Sonata was already waiting for you there
>How the hell did she even get here so fast!? Meh whatever
>She sees you from a distance and waves at you with a large grin on her face, looking she's excited to study with you
>You wave back with a small smile on your face
>"So..where are we going to study, Anon? We could go to the library?" As she says with a curious look
>Huh, that doesn't sound like a bad idea! there's barely anyone who goes to the library
"Yeah sure. Could you just give me a minute to check everything I need?"
>She nods, then proceeded to look around while humming a tune, but still staying close to you
>It didn't take you long to actually check everything, there was no homework handed today, so there's no need to bring your backpack along
>You grab your coat and lock your door for the final time, looking at Sonata one more
"Alright, we can go now."
>"Wait! Didn't you forget your schoolbag? Don't you have anything to bring?" She hanged on to her curious demeanor
"Nah, I don't have homework for today. You ready?"
>Sonata smile brightly as she's ready to follow you
Pic was related

>You take your first step toward the library, Sonata is following everyone of your footsteps
>You get the idea to actually ask her questions about what she needed help with, just to make things less boring
"So Sonata, how much help do you need for this exam? I mean, I have all the time that I need to help you out but I'm just curious."
>"Oh! Well...It may take a while. I have alot to study and learn, I hope that's alright with you..."
>You wave your hand in dismissal, after all, you did agree
"Don't worry about the time, I'll just be happy as long as you pass! I'm used to people asking me out for this sort of stuff."
>Sonata gains her smile back from your reassurance and then proceeds to ask a few questions about your day
"Oh it was alright, lunch wasn't too good. Only had a bag of chips to eat. They weren't even in that good."
>Sonata empathizes with you, unzipping her purse to see if she doesn't have anything for him
>"Hold on, I might have something for you inside of my purse..."
"Ah don't worry about it, Sonata. I can hold on until I get back home."
>"Are you sure, Anon?" She looks at you with a indication of concern coming off from her eyes and frown
"Positive. So how was your day? Something eventful happend?"
>"Well...It was boring, for the most part. Until a thought popped into my head about what's going to happen! I actually am excited about this!"
>And she blushes brightly, apologising that she may have looked or sounded silly there
>But you didn't mind, in fact, you actually thought it was cute on how she reacted
>her cheeks turned purple as she down at the ground,giggling at the compliment she recieved
>Just as she did that, the both of you were standing in front of the library door after a few minutes of walking
>You open the door and move out of the way so that she can pass first
>"My my, what a gentleman you are!" Sonata giggles at your action, passing through the door
You suck at this
>Consecutive dubs
Glad that you made the adjustments. See how much better it flows?

Pic related, r8, h8, masturb8
Would smear vaseline all over/10
(that last post has been reworked in some ways, I hope you guys mostly Kracker can see it.)

>Sonata goes to the closest table around and sits down waiting for you
>You sit in front of her, smiling and waiting for her to get her books out
"So...are you ready?"
>She nods and places her backpack on the table, unzipping it to take out her books
>What she took out was a small pocket sized that fit right inside her pencil case, a manual and a notebook to write her answers down
>"Okay! I'm ready!"
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Goddamn the prophecy was real.
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>pic relater/10 would finger again
Is that coke on the back?
Yeah, I saw the changes. Looks pretty good doesn't it?
yeah it does, actually. thanks for the advice! I wish I could contact you in private though so that you would see my errors before it gets sent in public though.
post can be related to this one too.
Honestly, it's better to have multiple sources of input. See, if you post here, then we make corrections, other anons will come and make their own critiques.
This. Although I mostly just complain when something is really off.

Allow me to explain my thought process.
>Huh, is Astrology the study of stars, or is it the horoscope thing?
>Hmm, let me think...Oh, right!
I apologized for it. but will probably make the same mistake.
>Not a perfect writefag
you're perfect to me, honey.
His tits are more perfect than mine too. What can't Uncle do?
Now I wouldn't say that, but if we were to continue talking about this, this thread would derail more than anything else.
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Thanks. Almost done with the next part? I need to sleep soon.
What can't I do? Draw. Remember pic related? My own work.
I'll get to that, give me a few minutes.
no Maria
Thanks man. I may actually go to bed before that though. My eyes are tired, guys. I have my laptop on lowest brightness setting. Anything else hurts. I may not be around tomorrow too much either.

But just keep writing though. Remember what I've told you. Read it in your head as you go along. Try to make things less wordy, say more with less. Leave things subtle. Let your audience know HOW the character said it, but leave the meaning of it vague.
>28 two times in a row
Night guys. See y'all tomorrow.
(NOTE: I don't know if I should go back to french or not, I think I may have a found an idea with that subject. I'll leave it up to you guys though to decide. I already have a small part written.)
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Go with French. Honestly, all you really need to do is lead the flow into a subject. Unless you really want to write out the entire study session.
I could do that, but it all depends if it will be boring or not for the rest of you guys.
The only reason to do it is if you have something funny planned. In my green, the focus and entertainment came from Sonata's general cuteness. If you want to write comedy, or have her cutely misunderstand things, go ahead. But don't just write pointless filler.

You're not writing a book, where you need to fill pages. You're writing greentext, a format meant to get the point across rather quickly.
Got it. I ain't got much time on me right now, I'll write as soon as I can. Expect some green at around...7 AM.
Night then. I won't be around till like 6pm tomorrow to check, so write what you can.
See >>22155328
Sorry to not produce new content today, I swear I'll have a good chunk of green tomorrow.

And that sounds complicated, but I'll try that. thanks.

Keep the thread alive Anons, and see you all tomorrow.
No don't leave.... I'll miss you!!!! I have no liffffeeeeeeee...
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I'm sorry, but seeing you made me think of this scene from Year One.
Retarded Sonata is worst Sonata.

Why cant she be kinda smart but extremely clumsy Sonata?
And i've yet to see some kracker
bumping for the next phase of the ride.
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bumping in anticipation of second writefag posting tits
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If I ever get dubs again, I will.
Recognized the song at 5th word. Not bad
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>leave me alone Aria and stop calling me the worst

fucking gold
What song is it? I have a little bit of time before next class.
"My Fault" By Eminem, of the Slim Shady LP.

Thanks guys.
Bumping for special ED Sonata loving
I already managed to dodge that bullet.
Goddamn those special ED dubs, I await good sir
Hey I've been lurking for a while but I still don't understand a dub. What is that
A dub or doubles is when two of the same number appears at the end of your post number, same thing with trips and so on
Oh cool. Thanks
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Here's another piece of friendly 4chan advice: Lurk Moar™.

And don't tripfag unless you have a reason to. A lot of people don't like it.
I could try my hand at writing, but Im in between classes right now. So it would be later
I would have done the same thing but there's only so many ways you can take this prompt.

Plus Kracker still has to finish his thing. I kind of wish I hadn't told him to retcon it because it's taking so fucking long.
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What this guy said.

Only namefag/tripfag when your identity is relevant to your post, such as when you're providing content.

Or you could continue to namefag and get shat upon about 90% of the time you post.
it is, once again. how is it going guys?
*It is I
It is you good sir, welcome back!
thank you, I shall get back to writing in a few minutes, so to any anons on here, keep an eye on this thread.
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Will do!
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Weren't you here last night? I sorta had an ending.

Like I said, I've been writefagging hard for days. My laptop's still on low brightness because my eyes hurt. I'm helping out Elpam with his green.

I'm only writing now because my buddy cancelled the chat we always have Wednesdays. I'm attending a writing workshop at 5. I may not be back until 6pm.
The wait must continue!
I've been here since the beginning, and admittedly I missed the possibility that the story could have ended. I thought it was destined for smut. Or not, either is fine.
It hasn't ended, but I kinda left off on a satisfactory place. Imagine the wait as sort of them watching the movie. As for what movie, it's a superhero one. So just watch some Batman or something.
fuck, i really got to take a pic of my tits don't i now.
You don't have to unless someone asks and gets dubs. No limit on re-rolls though.
alright, good to know. how's your day been? (working on writing right now.)
I have to go shortly. If the workshop is any use, I'll stick around. May take an hour. I'll talk about the day later. Just try and post some stuff. I'll review when I get back.
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>So just watch some Batman or something.
I'm seeing a page 10
holy shit i didn't even notice that, i can't look at the thread's page since I'm the OP. I'll write now, got done eating.
I await with great anticipation! Im sure you will do great!

"Alright, just tell me whenever you need help from me."
>Sonata nodded and began writing down in her notebook
>She doesn't take long to answer some of the questions, at least she knows a little bit about the language
>It doesn't take 5 minutes for her to finish the first page
>You begin to wonder why she even asked you to be here in the first place
>That is, until she starts scratching her head and quirking her eyebrows on the second page
>She began mumbling to herself, but just loud enough for you to understand
>"Hmm...This must be a trick question..."
>Sonata resumes to writing once more
>Meanwhile, you looked at the time and occasionally took a glance at her working
>In fact, she was cuter than you gave her credit for
>Her hair has a unique look to it, her eyes just compliment her skin excellently
>The little smile she always had whenever she greeted you...
>"And I'm done!"
>Before you realized it, Sonata had done everything without your help, and placed her notebook and manual in front of you
"Already? well then, let's see what you got."
>The blue cutie grinned and giggled in anticipation to see what you said to say
Alright, Uncle's free. No class at 8am tomorrow, so we can go all night.

I may be able to write again. I'll just keep everything low in terms of brightness.

>Eplam is first up.
>Butch is brought up.
Or perhaps she's wondering why you would ask for tits or for her to get the fuck out, before banning her.
>At least you can talk. Who are you?
It doesn't matter who I am. What matters is my story.
No one cared who I was till I wrote Sonata in a cute way.
>If I wax your chest, will you die?
It will be extremely painful.
>You've got a pretty hairy chest.
For you.
>Was retconning your story part of your plan?
Not really.
>Some anon suggested a better path. I took it.
>I didn't mean for it to take this long!
>Well congratulations! You're in this far! Now what's the next step of your master plan?
Making these anons get diabetes.
Correction: At the last line, it's supposed to say
"The blue cutie grinned and giggled in anticipation to see what you had to say."
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>Making these anons get diabetes.

It says the same thing.

But on to the critique.

Not too much wrong here. It just took me a second to realize that rather than working on the paper together, Anon is just reviewing when Sonata gets done. Admittedly, pretty much what we're doing right now, but it was a tad confusing.

I await the next part. You're improving in terms of flow, but content is lacking.
actually, the first post says "what you said to say."

and when you're talking about content, you mean the number of times i post, right?
Woops. Just noticed.

Sort of. See, you can writefag in different ways. You can keep your anons busy by writing fast with a lot of filler. It will keep them entertained by way of simply giving them more to read. Or you can post sorta slow, but each bit of the story advances the plot, or just adds to the overall quality of the story.

It's better to lean towards quality over quantity. Like I said before, too much to read isn't always good. It's best to keep each post advancing the plot, adding to the story meaningfully.

Your green is becoming better to read in terms of smoothness. It doesn't take too many re-reads to get the point. But that entire post, we waited days for. All we got was Anon watching Sonata do work, her get confused, a sort bit of Anon remembering how cute Sonata is, and then left at Anon just about to start helping her.

In your next post, you have a lot of potential for comedy. Have her get the answer comedically wrong, or for her not really to know, but to give a tried-her-best answer. Like the Terminal Velocity thing.
I was actually thinking of that. I'm gonna write it now. Don't worry, the consistency will improve over time. it's hard to get back from retirement of writefagging.
Good. If I can help somewhat, try writing in wordpad, then copy/paste to here. I do all my writing in the response box, but it takes a while to get used to. It'll help by allowing you to see the whole post, and the word count will help you know when you're running out of space. Then you can respond to the thread.
>You look at the answers she wrote and so far it seems good, until you get to the "trick question" Sonata was mumbling on her own about
>You check the answers a bit deeper in and you found out that she got the answers wrong, but you do understand why she got them wrong
"Uh...Sonata, are you sure you double checked everything? Because the word 'Chance' does not mean the same thing in English as it does in French."
>"Really?! How so?" as she replies with a surprised demeanor
"Well you see, there's a thing called "false friends". False friends is when two words are written exactly the same between languages but means something different."
>"Oh wow! that is so intresting! could you give me an example?" Sonata replying, interested to know more on the subject
>And so you gave her a few examples, it didn't take long for her to understand.
>"I get it now! Thanks alot!" as she says enthusiastically
>Just that smile on her face was everything you needed to make you satisfied of what happend today
"No problem, Sonata."
>Even though you could stay there forever with her, the librarian informs you that the both of you need to get out of the building in 5 minutes
>Damn, already?

(I don't know if that's good, I need some critique on this.)
Not very. See, this is the point that most Anons call it shit and abandon thread. While it may be a fun fact to learn about false friends, this part added nothing to the story.

>You look at the answers she wrote and so far it seems good, until you get to the "trick question" Sonata was mumbling on her own about
>You check the answers a bit deeper in and you found out that she got the answers wrong, but you do understand why she got them wrong
See, this, in terms of style, is fine. However, you had a good setup in the second part.
>You check the answers again, and realize just why Sonata needs help with French. Because the answers she put weren't in French at all. She wrote them in Spanish.

"Well you see, there's a thing called "false friends". False friends is when two words are written exactly the same between languages but means something different."
>"Oh wow! that is so intresting! could you give me an example?" Sonata replying, interested to know more on the subject
There's nothing funny here. It's flat dialogue. May be good if you set up a joke, but you didn't. It's pointless filler. Try
>Well..do you know what false friends are?"
>She snorts, waving a hand.
>"Of course I do! I have one! Aria!"
Also, "wow, that is so interesting! could you give me an example" is how one speaks to a teacher, not to a peer you have feelings for. It's too formal. Not how real people speak.

>"I get it now! Thanks alot!" as she says enthusiastically
"I get it now! Thanks a lot!" Once again, too formal. Try "Ooooh! Ok!" it's more in character for her.
>Just that smile on her face was everything you needed to make you satisfied of what happend today
This is oddly worded. It'd be better as
>Despite how much you had to work on today, having to pretty much teach her French, that little thankful smile made it all worth it.
Cont in next post
The rest is fine. But next time, instead of "Damn, already" go for "You could've sworn that it'd been thirty minutes at most.
>Be wanting to write
I'll probably start writing as the thread picks up. Capped any previous work, or are you new?
Ah I see, Well thanks, sorry for the drop of quality. Once again, I don't think I have captured Sonata's
personality quite well yet.

I don't know if I should continue, due to the reason that my green has an increasing amount of flaws and like you said, it may move Anons away from the story. Because of how much I gotta think about mistakes I make, how to not repeat myself in the sentence structure and other things, it can be quite difficult.
Oh Im just saying Im not as good as either of you and also Im lazy as fuck
It really can be. You should continue, as practice makes perfect.
Gotcha. Alright. I'll get to work.
well it's not that hard to reach my level, Uncle proves that with the number of mistakes I make.

I still could but it ould end up in a thread death, unfortunately.
Ok I guess I can try in a bit, until then I'll observe and learn like a good little writefag student
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Continuing from pic in>>22164465

>Slowly, gently rubbing her stomach as the movie plays, you feel her breathe.
>There's not many people in the theater. This movie's been running for a while, so most who wanted to see it already did.
>God, she's just so warm. You really didn't expect it. It's damn cold in the theatre, you wish you put on a jacket. But it's probably half the reason that Sonata's snuggling against you.
>Not that you're complaining. If anything, the cold just makes you appreciate the warm little blue cutie even more.
>It was about mid-point through the movie. The heroes were trying to escape with the stolen artifact, but they couldn't make it out in time. Not unless someone stuck behind to keep the evil horde busy.
>The robot, ALSOR-I, volunteered.
>"I'll hold them off. You need to go."
>The main refused. The others had gone onto the ship, and it was between them.
>"We can outrun them, I know that Sidonus can hack the locks an-"
>"You and I both know even he's not that fast. Even my Cyber-Warfare suites couldn't handle that, and I'm state-of-the-art."
>The main guy, Jontar, stood on his toes to meet the big robot eye to optics.
>"I. Am not. Leaving you."
>ALSOR-I closes his optics, the lights going out. They open, sharp.
>"I'm not giving you a choice."
>Faster than any human, and stronger, he lifts Jontar up by the collar, one handed. Lifting and heaving, he throws the smaller human through the ramp, into the ship. He taps his wrist-tool, closing it before Jon can get up.
>Slamming on the window, he yells curses to the robot for disobeying. With a wave, ALSOR-I turns around.
>The ship begins to light, and the robot runs back to the hall. He can already hear the enemy.
>Checking his auto-rifle's clip, he slams it back in. Pointing it to the door, already dents appearing in it, he's deathly calm.
>He speaks to himself.
Don't give up! You will get better, but don't ever give up sir!
Thanks for encouraging me, man. It means alot. I'll probably cook up one last post for today and i got to go head to sleep.
Do you have a pastebin? This has been a really good read
Goddamn, you just write so well and I just fuck up too much on alot of areas. I feel like I just won't be able to keep good content up and as time'll pass by, It will just end up being shitty and pointless to read.

Even with Hypeguy and you telling me to go on, I'm doubting myself to see if I should. Maybe I should plan out things more at school and think of what is good and what isn't.
>I am ALSOR-I. I am a Guardian of the Earth Protectorate. I am Humanity's ultimate achievement, their ultimate weapon, their ultimate shield. My duty is to serve my creators, to protect all who bask under Sol's light."
>The aliens can be heard now, screaming. The soldier holds his ground. A claw tears through the door, a low green eye is seen.
>"I am ALSOR-I. And I am ready to die for my Planet."
>The hull door bursts open, and rounds fly into the creatures. Purple blood spills, aliens screech. But more keep coming.
>They don't make it far. His massive machine gun holds many rounds. They fall in droves, hardly making it halfway towards him.
>His optics tell him he's running low, advise to concern ammo. He turns them off, requiring full tactical awareness.
>His chain gun slows, and stops. He tosses it towards the beasts, and unhooks a heavy scattergun. Firing it, he holds charges, barrel blazing iron shrapnel.
>Before leaping, he pulls a mighty axe from his side, firing both shotgun and swiping a blade.
>He is glorious. Man's greatest weapon, in his element. Totally overwhelmed, surrounded by enemies, but cutting them down like flies.
>One climbs on his back. He reaches, but is unable to grab it. It tears into his back, and his sensors indicate damage. He flings into a wall, smashing it. He turns back on his HUD, and sees the diagnostics and he holds back more aliens.
>A second of distraction is all it takes. A much larger alien comes and slashes him, sending him sprawling. He stands, firing a pistol at it blindly. It stumbles, gives him a chance. He snaps its neck, and wrenches its arm off to use a new blade.
>He slashes the foes, but they replace each one with four more. As they come, more and more blades break his guard, hit his armor. It weakens, bends. His circuits get slashed, non-major, but it damages his reaction time and sensors.
>Just before his HUD blinks from damage, it all stops. He's left in the center, surrounded by monsters.
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Practice makes perfect. Look at pic related. This was my first writefagging.
See it? See how shit it was?

Oh, no I've got a better example. Read a single fucking chapter of this pile of shit.
Read it? See how bad it is? Well guess fucking what: It was my first damn story. Ever. First one I ever published to fanfiction.net. Now, look at what I'm doing.

Practice makes fucking perfect. I've said this before, I'll say it till the end of time.

Here's some advice: Go there. Or Fimfiction. Those places are for the beginners and the experts. They'll let you go slow, they're forgiving of slow authors. Here on 4chan, we're not. You have to be damn good, and damn fast to survive.

You can stick here, take the crash course in writefagging. It's hard as fuck. I'm not going to lie. But if you get good here, you're damn set. Fast feedback, unforgiving reviewers, and sharp competition. 4chan is a crucible for authors. You'll get called a faggot, you're story shitty, and your character Edgy Mary-sues.

But Iron Sharpens Iron. If you think you can handle it, stay. It'll make you a damn better writer.

If not, get >>/out/.
Hey man Im going to write soon and you can marvel at how crappy I am, and Uncle will crit me and we can all be happy with ourselves. But don't give up doing what you do, have confidence and faith in yourself. That is how you do amazing and wonderful things bro

That gun went from rifle, to machine gun, to chain gun. You're worried about the kind of drum it had?


/k/ here, I like your story, but this triggers my autism.
I'm not a gun nut, sorry man. I'm also the guy that mixed up Astrology for Astronomy.

I don't know shit about guns. I can roll for Gun lore and see.
1: Gun colors can range from camo to black.
2: Guns don't kill, people kill
3: Guns don't work well without bullets!
4: Clips are not the same as magazines.
5: Guns are not sentient.
6: Disregard number 5, Yes they are, run!

Well I mean, it's certainly different than how it is now, but i wouldn't call it "shitty". Just you did alot worse than what you're doing right now.

I'll think about staying, I always stuck on here ever since the beginning I started writing here.

I don't marvel at people for how crappy they can be/are. I'm the type of person that will stay if I like the story.

Anyway, I'll keep on going, but not today. I just feel a little demoralized and stuff.

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Bruh, Forgiven was easily the worst thing I've done. I'm never going to change it though, because it's a testament to how far I've come.

Saved my rant for you, so you can look back on it for encouragement when your uncle's not around.
Why was six afraid of seven?

Because seven eight nine.


Because seven was a nigger
Kek'd. Now back to writing. Thanks for the laugh /k/ommando.
I guess I can take that as encouragement? I don't know man. I'll just keep going until you say it turns to shit or It gets better.
>ALSOR looks around, sees the insect-like xenos hissing and jittering. His servos fail on him, and lands on a knee from the strain. Pounding feet behind him.
>Spinning, he's shocked. The King steps forward, clad in obsidian armor, the only green being his eyes.
>He his massive twin blades from his back. Tosses one, clanging till it stops just before the robot.
>In a voice deeper than the abyss, and colder than a comet, the King speaks.
>"Stand, and fight, child of Man."
>ALSOR rises, picking up the sword. While the King holds it with one hand, he must hold it in two.
>The blade is massive, serrated, and dark gray. A green fissure runs jagged up its length.
>The robot, letting it hang on the ground, punches a wound in his armor closed. He heaves it up, and straightens his stance.
>The king walks forward, blade comfortably in hand. ALSOR-I charges, screaming like the Ancestors of his creators did. He swings first, the full force of his weight and momentum behind it.
>The blow is deftly blocked. A counter swing sends the bot flying, crashing against the wall. Without the strength to lift the cleaver, he leaves it. He still have the drive.
>Charging, he leaps over the horizontal swing the King threw. Body-slamming the king, he manages to stagger and knock him back.
>ALSOR, still with momentum, pushes him a few more feet, before the King merely swats him away.
>All the best and brightest minds of Humanity cannot stand against the sheer power of this Ancient Race's even more Ancient King.
>The king lifts up ALSOR in his huge hand, holding him like a puppet. The machine's head lolls to the side, his optics fading from damage.
>"So. This is your creator's greatest weapon? You are hardly a challenge, man of metal. The rest of your kind will be no different."
>ALSOR sputters electro-gel onto Adrack's hand, and his chest armor.
>"Your creators leave you behind to die. You are nothing but a tool to them."
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>ALSOR finds his voice.
>"It's not the tool that matters. It's...how you use it. And humans use their tools very cleverly."
>He sees a light flare off.
>The ship, his friends, and Humanity's only hope against the Horde, leaves him to his fate.
>ALSOR grins, turns to Adrack. He dares to laugh in the kings face, who had turned in wonder at the spectacle. Only know did he realize that the weapon staying behind was merely a distraction.
>Growling, Adrack tightens his grip, slowly. He feels the machine's titanium husk groan and crack in his hand.
>ALSOR-I groans as his vitals go out, one by one, crushed. His radar fades, then color vision, then his vision lags. Body diagnostics go red and then fade out. His HUD blips, and finally, all goes black.
>The king drops the husk to the ground, turns around.
>"Take it to the labs. We can use tools cleverly as well. We can use the human's weapon against them."
>You feel Sonata shift, as the scene turns to the main heroes, arguing over if they could go back.
>She looks at you, then around. No one will hear what she's saying.
>She looks heartbroken. Obviously the robot had become her favorite character.
>"ALSOR...is he..."
>You think a moment, and shake your head
"No. Maybe. He's a robot. I think they can rebuild him."
>"But Anon...if they can't get his memories back, then it won't be ALSOR...not truly him."
>You tilt your head side to side. She's right. He was state of the art. One of a kind.
"I guess. We'll just have to see."
>She nods, and turns back to the movie. You still feel her sadness. You pat her stomach, and she grabs your hand. Not to move it, but for comfort.
>Honestly, you didn't expect her to take the movie to seriously. At least she likes it.
So ALSOR-I is an EXO Titan?
Mainly just using designs and pictures. But yeah, pretty much. Pretty much based it off the way I play in Destiny. Autorifle, shotgun, up close and personal. Plus, wanted to see if I can still write epic. Can I?
Then you do so. You have potential. Don't let it go to waste.
Hey man don't mean to interrupt you, when you are done posting for the night I'll start posting my green. That alright?
Xbone 360. But haven't been able to play cuz at college. Wifi is already shit, and can't even hook up xbox to it.

I used to go on /dg/, but it was a Ps4 circlejerk. Hardly any xbox players, and all just whining about >tfw no hawkmoon or thunderlord. No real discussion, just shitposting and whining. I saw someone try and write green, to actually add to the value, but no one liked it.

I'm going to be up late. No class til 2pm. The only reason to be up early is bcuz I'd want breakfast at the cafeteria. It's fine if you post green at anytime. Hell, I encourage it. Adds to the thread. Keeps people entertained while I'm writing.
Matter of fact, I was playing Dark Souls when I saw the first Sonata thread. Figured, "ah, why the hell not?"

And here we are.
Dude, High-five same here haha what build are you using right now?
I do? thanks man, I will attempt to not dissapoint you.
Time to shit on this thread like they did on Shimmer
The only green I've seen there was of a titan fucking the Stranger, which was pretty great.

But yeah, the place is terribly circlejerky, but i still lurk for the hilarious namefag drama. besides, it's easier finding a group there than on lfg.
Why did you leave?
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When I was playing, 1st one mind you, I was doing a Quality Faith buff build. Own design. Used a Silver Knight Straight Sword, Sanctus for General shield and cool glowy effect, Giants shield for bosses. Armor was Ornstein's for chest, Giant's +5 for all other slots. Sunlight Talisman (Rip based Solaire), and working towards getting a plus 15 Zwei and maybe Ricard's Rapier. Other weapons were Grant, Black Knight Greataxe, Greatsword of Artorias (best divine modifier in the game, cool design) and gold tracer. Miracles are mostly offensive, as Estus +7 heals fine. Sunlight Spear, GMB because Giant Greatshield is pretty good, but its magic defense is shit, Great Lightning Spear, Sunlight Blade (Rip Gwyndolin, you were never loved), and Wrath of Gods.

It's my favorite build. So versatile and effective.
I have many others, but that was the one I was playing.
Pic is what he pretty much looks like.

Oh, it was humorous, but having to wade through the crap wasn't worthwhile. I couldn't play, so hearing people whine about not getting what they want was boring.

Because I have responsibilities IRL to take care of.

I'm actually playing DS2 right now, mainly strength build with some Dex and faith invested. Im using the Sanctum Chest piece because of it's fairly good Phys and other Defenses, Im just using Vengarls helmet for now, using havels gauntlet and leggings for the high mag and Physical Def. i've been farming TW Titanite for hours to upgrade the armor all the way. Just using a royal kite shield +10 because it's a fairly reliable shield for me . And I've been using mainly the Red rust Scimitar for those fast attacks. Im building up my character so i can try to get to NG+10 and feel achieved about myself
Ok, lets do this

>Be Early Monday morning
>Be in house of Anon
>Be in bedroom of Anon
>Be in bed of Anon
>You awaken to the sound of your alarm blaring into your ear, just as annoying as ever.
>You gracefully slam your fist into the electronic device and rise from your bed, the cold floor ready to greet you
>Time to get ready

>You are walking through the halls of your school shuffling through the other students to get to your locker
>Blue Haired girl bumps into you
>She’s attractive
>Being an unpopular fuck means you have to apologize first
“S-sorry about that”
>She pipes up
>”Oh it’s okay, oh, hey are you Anon?”
>What, she knows you?
“Uh, yeah. Can I help you?”
>She looks up to you hopefully
>”I was looking for you actually, I’m Sonata”
>”I heard you were really smart, Anon”
>She’s right, you’re basically the nerd of the entire school, and everyone knows it.
>”Could you maybe help me with some of my homework…? I’ll find some way to make it up to you, I promise!”
>Hot girl asking for help?
>How can possibly say no?
“Yeah sure I can help you, what do you need help in?”
>She looks slightly embarrassed
>”Um… Well… Everything.”
“Oh okay, of course I’ll help. What time do you want to mee-“
>Bell rings
>Not even close to your class or locker
“Shit I got to get to my locker”
>She yells across the hall to you as you part ways
>”Meet me here after school!”
>And you hurriedly reply
“Got it!”
>Typo already
>Walking out of the theatre, Sonata is talks about the movie. She's practically bouncing, she absolutely loved it.
>"I really hope that ALSOR makes it. I just hope he's OK."
>You chuckle a little. You're pretty much sure they will. The reviews say that while not the most popular character, he's still one of the fan favorites. His sacrifice and sheer humanity made him so.
"I'm sure that they will. I really wouldn't worry, Sonata. He's just a robot. I'm sure that they could salvage his memory core, or something."
>She hits your arm, not too hard. You give her an off-color look.
>"He's NOT just a robot, Anon! Remember what he said? His personality core and memories were based off of one of Earth's greatest heroes. He's so advanced, and most of his systems were designed off of human ones. He's just as human as Jontor is."
>You smile. She clearly paid attention to the movie.
"Gee, I figured that you'd like Sidonus the best."
>She shrugs.
>"It was just so cool and nice how ALSOR started as a cold robot, but like, LEARNED how to become human! I really loved it when Jontor was all like 'Welcome to the Human Species.' and ALSOR was all 'No. I was always human. It just took me a while to remember how.'"
>She did a crude impression of ALSOR's baritone, but it was adorable. You pull her in close.
"Definitely. They haven't released any plans for the next one, but with how big it's been, I'm sure they will. Want to see it when it comes out?"
>She gasps, grabbing your collar, pulling herself close to you.
>"You mean it? For realzies?!"
>You wrap an arm around her waist.
"Of course we can."
>She embraces you, putting her arms around your neck. You feel her familiar warmth as your bodies press close against the cool night.

>On the way home, Sonata gets drowsy. You turn down the music. It's a slow song, but you want her comfortable. She rolls in her seat over to you.
>You glance over to her, trying to focus on the road. You smile as you do, and she keeps her gaze steady.
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>Sonata is talks about the movie
Well, now I feel better. Still better than me though
We all make mistakes. Whether or not they're on purpose to make lesser writefags feel better? That's on you.
Weekly reminder that none of you will ever write an Anon X Sonata fic even 1/10% as good as http://pastebin.com/B6PFVtxA
We all make mistakes! Learn from them and don't let them get to you sir!
>Eventually, you get curious.
"What's uh...what's up?"
>She says drearily, eyes only half open. You're not sure if she's giving you bedroom eyes, but nonetheless, it's endearing.
>You get a very suave idea. Looking in the mirror at yourself, you rub a hand over your head.
"I know, I can't stop looking at me either. Such a handsome S.O.B."
>She giggles, covering her mouth. You don't follow suit, but you're glad you can make her laugh.
>Sonata merely keeps gazing at you, and you eventually just ignore it. Driving down the road, you don't know the song too well.
>Blueberry starts to hum along with it. You notice after a second, and join her. Neither of you know the lyrics, but the tune is easy enough to get.
>Humming together, it feels more deep than having a sing along. Feeling your chest vibrate in harmony with her hums, you're almost sure she feels the same.
>The song ends, and you smile down at her. She's sitting up in the seat now, eyes locked on yours.
>"...that was 'More than words Can say' by...Alias. You know, Phonograph, I remember going to one of their concerts back in 78, with my ex-wife. Not ex at the time, but after taking one too many silverfi-"
>You turn down the radio, wanting to sit in silence. You don't care about how the DJ ruined his marriage. You care about Sonata.
>Steering with your left hand, your right rests on the arm rest. You watch as she grasps your hand, and you let her pull it over to the center.
>Riding in silence and warmth, you find yourself at Sonata's house sooner than you'd have liked.
>Finally letting go of your hand, she sits for a moment, collecting her thoughts.
>"Anon...I really had a great time tonight. I just...I really want to thank you."
>She wasn't overly excited, or bubbly, or ditzy. It was just her being serious, but still with that warm smile.
>Did I mention how much you love that smile?
>The one she gives you when she's truly appreciative of you. It just warms your heart.
Just because we can't do better, doesn't mean that more shouldn't be created. I'll take your word for its superiority.
Thanks Hype
I was just joshing anyway. I'll take a gander at these >greens bredy sun
Oh, I was sure. It wasn't a blatant shitpost. I absolutely know I'm not the best writefag. I'm apparently one of the better ones, but I haven't been doing this long enough to be considered top-tier.
>"I just...I'd absolutely love to go out with you again."
>Smiling, you feel your stomach flip. Your lip quivers as you ask:
"For Realzies?"
>She nods.
"For Realzies."
>Slowly at first, you and her lean in, testing the waters. You find that you both want this.
>You extend a hand, and wrap it over her shoulder. She slides her palm up your cheek, tilting her head.
>Connecting to her by the lips, she feels soft, and warm. Her palm makes little circles.
>It's rather innocent. Just a goodnight kiss after a good night out.
>But it feels like nothing else. You don't want it to end, and neither does she.
>As you nestle each other in arms, it's a soothing moment. But you disconnect. It leaves you cold and wanting more.
>Clearly, it left her the same. She pushes forward again, with the same passion. It doesn't last as long as the first, but the withdrawal isn't too severe this time.
>She begins to climb out of your car, smiling softly, blushing hard.
>Just before closing your door, she stops.
>"Bye, Anon. I..."
"I love you too, Sonata."
>You think you see a tear in her eye. But she controls herself.
>"I love you, Anon."
>You keep a close eye as she walks to her front door. You only leave after waving her goodbye when she is fully inside the house.
>She's your new girlfriend after all. You can't help but be a little protective.
I think this is a good stopping point. For the night or the story? Not sure. But I'll stick around another 30 mins or so. Probably critique the other Anon's story.
Woot! Brilliant! I think you should continue it! Maybe show what problems the other students think about the relationship? Could be interesting! I shall await what choice you make good sir!
Honestly, I'd rather let other Writefags have the spotlight. I may move onto another idea. Or go work on my Fallout stuff for a while. I'm unsure, really. But I will keep up with here. Goodnight, Hype. Try and keep the thread from self-destructing.
I shall try my best! Goodnight sir!
I think that we need a little bit of falling action here. Maybe some kind of anon vs aria scenario where he helps Sonata stand up for herself?
End it here. high school relationships only go downhill after this point, and my heart can't take the fallout of this adorable story
am going to write a shitty fanfic of sonata
and anon in 5 post because reasons


>it was average day for you in cantorlot high.
>being a nerd
>attending classes
>getting straight A's
>fellow student either ignore you or tease u or talk to you only to use for your knowledge
>no social life
>no gf
>you got use to it...
>well mostly, you would have bouts of extreme depression because of the social isolation
>but over all, you pretty ok things
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Fapman if this is you I swear to fucking god

>one day, your in one of your classes
>teacher assign work that everyone can do either alone or together
>this is one of the only times people take to u
>but this time no one did
>you look down a the worksheet
"well dammit"
>the work is so piss easy, no one needed you to help them or more accurately do the work for them
>as you was about to start to work on the work
>you see somebody coming towards you
>it's a girl
>oh boy here we go
>she said sheepishly
>you know this goes
"hey, what's up?"
>"can you help me with my homework?"
"geez that a record"
>"what do you mean by that"
"what in it for me?"
>she thought for a minute
>"i..i will make it up to you, just come by the liberty after school"
>you want to tell her to get loss
>but you have a bad habit of being selfless
"well ok then...i be there"
that not me m8

>damn spiderman
>all way teaching nerds about being selfless despite your personally happiness

>it late after school
> your sitting in the library
> waiting for that girl named....
>named...! i don't know her freakin name
>you thought for a minute about how your going to handle this
>you recently played eternal sonata
>sonata sound pretty, you will nick name her sonata

>as you pat yourself on the back for avoiding embarrassing your self
>the girl you promise to help walks comes in

>"hi anon!"
"hey sonata"
>"hey you know my name!"
>you do?
"i do?"
>"yeah my name is sonata, my parent name a music or something. any way are you ready?"
>holy crap that a new record.
>you guess a girl name because of a jrpg you play
>you luck stat my be high right now

>sonata coughed
>"i said are you REEADY TO ROCK!"
>boop, a book instantly hit sonata in the back of her head
>sonata turned her head to see the librarian
>the librarian stare at her with eyes of icey old daggers of fury
>"heh heh sorry" sonta bashfully said to the libirain
>the librarian slowly turned back to her desk slowly shaking her fist.

>the study commence!
>sonata need her studying for a cooking exam
>you don't know much about cooking but you can learn like the wind because google!
>also you shared her some studying such as finding the mental hooks or core concepts up the topic.
>as you and her finish up sonata begin to speak
>"thank you anon, i learn SOOOO much from you"
"no problem sonata, glad i could help. see ya"
>you begin to walk away
>sonata look alarmed
>"don't you wanna try my spacial taco?"
>the hell she going on about?
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The Hype never sleeps! Neither shall this thread!
>no part 5

8/10, would reluctantly get rused again. Faggot.
goddamn i love you hype guy.
What point is there in EXOs being manufactured with reproductive body parts?
Good morning bump.
He could use a strap on. They're pretty much humans. They may have needs.
good morning man.
Why did you create this shit?
The Dazzlings general was for this kind of cancer
Why do you hate the Dazzlings general so much that you created a Sonata general?
Or is it because you want circlejerking around you?
It's not a Sonata general. It's a followup thread to a write prompt that managed to attract writers.

It probably won't make it to a third one. Relax yo' mind.
So it's just a thread full of autists that want to be circlejerked?
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Wow m8 another general but this time only about Sonata?
Can't you see that Adagio is best Dazzling you dyels?
There is a contaiment general for all the Dazzlings shit, why did you have to make a general about only one Dazzling?
Damm it you are as worseas the Shimmerfags
Was really necessary to make an entire general for a shitty story?
Why didn't you wrote it in the Dazzlings general?
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Well I came here to read greentext that's now sort-of-done.

I don't really care what anyone else does.

Speaking of which, do you know 4chan now has a filter function? You should try it sometime.

Shimmer is best dazzle

You've made your point. All you're doing now is complaining and, inexplicably, bumping this thread.

I seriously don't fucking understand it. This was on like page 7 before everyone suddenly started complaining about it. Either it's a bandwagon or samefag.
>Stating an opinion
If you feel butthurted that more than one person doesn't like this it's your problem, it doesn't mean there are samefagging
>If you feel butthurted that more than one person doesn't like this it's your problem, it doesn't mean there are samefagging

All I'm pointing out is how, suddenly, there's an explosion of complaining. So either it's a bandwagon (which you seemed to completely ignore) or samefag. Either or.

Was there ever a need to give a thread you don't like even more attention?
Hi, I came from the Dazzlings general, can I come to this one?
/dzg/ it's completely dead, no content and more shitposting and I kinda like Sonata
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Oh God that scene
Bump for the Sonata general, like the old days
Clearly someone informed the /dzg/ of us. They got all pissy because this isn't just fetish or shitposting or waifu wars. Possibly jealous of the fresh content, I don't know. We've ignored the shitposters before.

This thread exists really only because we somehow managed to hit the post limit on the last thread. It'll die soon enough, as I finally finished my greentext. I'm sticking around to help Elpam or other writefags.

By all means, stay. Just don't tell the general how we're doing. We already fucked up by calling it Sonata x Anon #2.
pls cracker, you need to continue that story
there is so much potential with it, even you have to see that
you may not do it right now but fuck god wills it, you must do it again at some point
Maybe. Honestly, if we continue it, we can't keep making threads like this. I just got done with /dzg/, apologized to them. If we do continue, then we'll do it on /dzg/.

I'm also of a mind with>>22172106. I left on a high note. I really don't feel I should continue. It'd be like a TV show they just force the writers to keep going, after the ending they planned, just to make more money. It won't be the same thing, as the ending would be nullified, or at least devalued.

Leaving it like this, and not artificially extending it, is probably best. Thank you though.
So all the people of the Dazzling general are fetish or shitposting or waifu wars. doers?
You are really hypocrite, you go to the general and apologise and you talk shit about us here.
You are a retard
Damm, you really like to get your dick sucked by the autists here don't you?
Yeah, I know. I was being defensive. If you'll look at the times, I apologized after I saw the posts here. I was defensive, and hadn't thought things through. I posted that at 9:52, and my apology at 10:14. Again, sorry
You are just a faggot that seeks circlejerking.
If you hate us that much, don't you dare to post your shit in /dzg/, store your hypocrisy in your ass.
"Defensive", what are you 12 years old?
Just let the thread die then. It was at page 4. I made a mistake >>22174653, and I realize it. Again, sorry I pissed you off.
Fuck those assholes, they are jelous because our general is way better than theirs, we have little shitposting and a lot more content.
I say we keep our general separated from theirs
Yeah, nice try.
It will become a general, they just shitpost here because their general is slowly getting killed by their own hands, let's keep this place.
You are a good writer, others will follow you and we will be functional
Look, thanks, but right now, i'm waiting for Elpam to come back, help him with his writing. If I decide to write Sonata again, or continue the green, I'll come to /dzg/.
Why do you want to go to a place where you are hated?
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you're right, you left it on a high note but thats a load of crap and as a writer you should know that
a good story isnt rainbows and sunshine, a really good story has both good AND bad which this story has posibility for conflict with the sisters, the general populous of the high school, insecurity of anon being uncomfortable with the social status that she has, ect ect
but at the same time there is possibility for anon to grow as a character/person being forced to do more social things with blue cutie and changing for the better over time, making more friends, deepening his relationship, ect ect
my vote really goes for continuing this story
Apparently they don't care.
That's what they always say, then you write and the shitstorm begins, it already happened to other writefags that wrote their stories in other threads and they were chased away.
Stop being a pussy, embrace this general that you created and keep it alive
All this was is a continuation of a prompt. I didn't create or name the thread, but I should have. No thanks. I'm leaving it to other writefags for now.

Thanks, but for now, I'll leave it as it is. If I do continue, I'll do it in the general.
You are a useless coward piece of shit, you should kill yourself or cut your balls because you don't use them
Sure, m8. Have a nice day.
bumping for Elpam
I have just woken up! There is no need for that sir! He is his own person and if he doesn't want to write for this thread then that is perfectly okay! Even though I will miss him and his story terribly :'(
Hello sir, I don't know what you will do next but I know it will be great. Good luck in whatever you choose to do sir.
someone said my name?
Good morning sir! Are there any plans for green today?
yeah, my mood is better than it was before, i'm going to start right up.
well to be honest, since Uncle's depart, I was thinking of maybe going onto another thread and call it done on this one. It was a nice experience to come back to a hobby I love.

I was the one who created the thread and fucked it all up by calling it "Sonata x Anon #2".

This was just a little experiment, I'm sort-of glad with what i got.
I mean I would love to stay in contact with you guys but I don't think you (by that i mean Uncle and you) would want that.
Sir I would enjoy staying in contact with you as well! It has been an honor! Maybe you shall see me in the Dazzle thread, who knows? I'd enjoy it if you came and wrote there for us if you have the time, sir! My love for a silly blue haired girl cannot be satiated!
well I have skype and stuff like that, I don't go on much threads. I guess it could be a reason to go this board more often.
whoa mang, that escalated quickly
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im sad to hear it but alright my dear writefriend, i'll be watching out for the story in the generals
for the good of mankind please continue writing, you're right in saying that you've had plenty of practice because you definitely have ability that im a tad jealous of

>am writer myself but have never done greentext
Yeah but even so the Stranger is an EXO too.
I'm right here.
Damm you are an autist
No, it was escalating for quite some time. That seemed to be his last attempt at riling me up.
He calling me a coward because owning up to your mistakes instead of trying to fight is cowardly.
In a way it is, but /mlp/ is filled up with betas, so your attitude is not weird, it's pretty normal
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>Implying I can be hurt
Oh Anon! You're hilarious!
So will you provide to the /dzg/?
I was taught that if a man makes a mistake, one that can be proved, he should apologize. I made a mistake. I owned up to it.

Sometime or another. I'm gonna let this whole fiasco die down first. Come back when tempers are less hot. But yeah, when I continue, I'll do it in /dzg/. Promise.
Or you could just take off your trip name and post as an anonymous and nobody will say a shit, nobody knows your writing style in dzg so noone will be able to identify you
Yeah. But I've got some homework to do right now. Maybe a little later. Thanks for the advice. I'll probably use it.

Just when I found a good trip too.
What about if you forget the trip for now, post some stories and after a minimum of two (of course say that you are a rookie writefag) you choose a trip name
That's what I did with this story. I used to be Based Writefag. Then I started using Uncle Kracker songs, like for sing-alongs with Anon and Sonata. Classic rock, stuff like that.

Or to be funny, I'll write for a while, get people hyped, then reveal myself.
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