>"If you want to have sex with my sister, Anon, we will have to settle it over a rap battle, so rock on. If you win you fuck her, if you lose prepare to pucker."
>yo, you're gay
>you suck figs
>oh, all night
>that your face wells up
>and...it fades away
Bitch what makes you the god of the sun, all you got is a really hot bun that weighs a ton.
Jeez wisdom must be your middle name, you're to fucking old to be in the rap game! Now i hope you are'nt offended i never intended to heat it, so do equestria a favor and beat it!
Big talk there, sunbutt, you regal mistake,
Mind telling us why you're >addicted to cake?
Abusing your powers, all high and above,
Yet you can't magic up one pony to love!
Spent 2 seasons getting letters, watching Sparkle grow wise,
Are you just some sort of troll pretending to advise?
Because the whole fandom likes your sister better than you
Ever did, or does guilt get banished, too?
Oh, sorry, what's that? Did I mishear?
>implying Luna's the pony you think I should fear
You sent a student unexplained to some town in the sticks,
And the next time you showed up, it was with that phoenix!
And if that wasn't reason to just have your name scrubbed,
You lost to some love-powered swarming bug!
Maybe Twi would have gotten her wings pretty soon,
If she and her friends left you in that cocoon.
Dear Princess Celestia, just wanted to say,
That your lack of screen time has made you cray-cray.
Your who government runs on kickbacks and perks,
And of course one purple alicorn doing all the work.
Hell, she worked her plot off, and she earned her place,
Sure you don't want your wordsmith to save your face?
Face it, Celly, you might as well hang up your crown,
Even high school principals are more important than you now!
Anon are you serious? you've got to be joking
Nopony loves you, just what are you smoking?
You keep talking trash, but it's not going to stick,
because the only 'hard' thing about you is your dick.
I'm the sun goddess, every rap I'll answer
but I don't need UV to cleanse your cancer.
The only thing you think about is ponut
hiding in your cave and screwing donuts
obsessing n showing you're so nuts.
Sleep with my sister? you don't cut it.
You don't know shit so you can shut it.
The only thing you think about all the time is you.
Don't you fucking realize that ponies need friends too?
you're like a black hole's blackness, drowning out the light
when luna needs the love of all the stars in the night.
she doesn't need some monkey who could really care not
about anything other than that mares think he's hot.
Oblivious and delerious you can't be fucking serious
You don't know anything about equines and you make us furious.
Talking smack, you must be on crack
thinking I'd lose because my power's lack.
Clear an infestation? I could in a blink,
and before you could wink, canterlot would be past the brink.
you bald green twink! do you ever think?
that there might be a reason for my power's "shrink?"
Sending twilight isn't hard to fathom,
While I'm a howitzer she's like a phantom.
You autist clown! slow down and go down town
and practice making friends till you won't drown
in your lonely tears and making love to your hand
wondering why all these ponies treat you like a one night stand.
Bitch I'm a kill you! You don't want to fuck with me
Celly leave, you ain't nothin' but a slut to me
Bitch I'm a kill you! You ain't got the balls to beef
We ain't goin' never stop beefin' I don't squash the beef
You better kill me! I'm a be another rapper dead
For poppin' off at the mouth with shit I shouldn't a said
But when they kill me I'm bringin' the world with me
Cadance too! You ain't nothin' but a girl to me
I said you don't, want to fuck with Lulu (cause why?)
'Cause Luna, will fuckin' kill you (ah-ha ha)
I said you don't, want to fuck with Lulu (why?)
'Cause Luna, will fuckin' kill you
Bitch I'm a kill you! Like I'm a shadow, I'm a conceal you
In a closet with mildew, sheets, pillows and film you
Buck with me, I been through hell, shut the hell up!
I'm tryin' to develop these pictures of Discord to sell 'em
It ain't acid rap, I just rap on acid
Got a new Fluttershy and just had a strap-on added
Whoops! Is that a subliminal hint? No!
Just criminal intent to sodomize fillies again
NMM offend? No! NMM insult
And if you ever give in to her, you give her an impulse
To do it again, then, if she does it again
You'll probably end up jumpin' out of somethin' up on the tenth
Bitch I'm a kill you, I ain't done this ain't the chorus
I ain't even drug you in the Everfree yet to paint the forest
A bloodstain is orange after you wash it three or four times
In a tub but that's normal ain't it Norman?
Serial killer hidin' murder material
In a cereal box on top of your stereo
Tantabus again, Luna's original sin
Out of my mind, and we want in yours, let us in
This is too sweet, better than cake and honey
A low class human nerd with no money
stealing rhymes and claiming he can kill the sun?
Let me heat you up another batch made from scratch
you'd have to get a stool to even reach luna's snatch
I understand what you carnivores love to eat
so why don't you stick to stallions and beating your meat.
you can't take the heat, but you got a front row seat
while I show you why my rhymes cannot be beat.
Anon is a fucking bloke
a single guy made of poison joke
in his ego he'll soak
like the reeking scent of rotted yolk.
but get stoked because this joke
just took a toke and thought
he'd take a new poke,
thinking he's gonna smoke,
the princess of the sun, but he's going to choke.
but the day has already risen before this nerd awoke
like he went on a bender doing lines of coke.
And the sister whom he wanted to fuck
lives long enough that he'd be an eternal cuck
if it weren't for the truth that this stupid shmuck,
to catch luna's attention, would never have the luck.
he's stuck, and instead of shooting for her heart
hes cheating and swearing and getting bucked.
he's hoping for a chance to catch her attention
this whole stupid rap battle was his invention.
he needs detention, a ponut suspension,
he takes waifu-fags to a new dimension,
There wont be any ascension
but I'll give him an honorable mention
For making his autism a public convention.
Come again? What, you sayin' I rip off Eminem?
Guess again, quim, call Anon a faggot again!
back from the dead
out of my head
comin' to yours to make you a fuckin' sped
Sickening cynicism fulfilling the limit within
Willin' to killin', a iller villain than the Terrible Tim
Fuckin whorse, thinkin you gonna blast on me
Blast them thighs, bitch you eatin' too much cheese
And too much corn, but I guess that's why it runs in your rhymes
Two at a time
A couple doublets and you got a whole line
Got a whole bar, writing it down, makin a track
Never ever second-guessin that your rhythm is wack
Now step back, 'cause Loony's on the attack
Snappin it back
My fuckin flow you know is doper than crack
Boiling the coke
Breakin it down, makin the rock
We see a simple Celly smoking the cock
Blewin the guards
One in the slit, two in your ass
All outta cash
But they're fuckin done in a flash
Now my man A
can fuck fo' days
check these spread legs
watch my three-ways
Think you're strong
You don't know shit about power
Until you end up getting pounded for more than an hour
So tell me, Tia, tell me what do ya get
When you mix a jackhammer with a jackrabbit
And add the stamina of a crystal hit
Go ask Twinkie's brother, this some bomb-ass dick
A NEW CHALLENGER APPROACHES!
Is this the kinda shit that you two call "lyrical"?
Listening to that shit just made me all hysterical
A princess who's own ego is the size of her sun
and another who can't even understand >fun
You two think you got ammunition aplenty this fight
Bitch PLEASE, you can't be any less right
I'm a storm of rap magic that you don't wanna face
because you know in the end how this will end in any case
If you wanna face me, then put up a fight at least
cause either way, you're about to awaken a beast
>"We challenge you to a rap battle Anon, win and you may court Luna, but if you lose you become my student for a day.
>Look sunhorse straight in the eye.
"Nah, I don't have time for games today. Luna said that the gryphon ambassador's office has a big desk, so were going to go screw on it."
>That day you fucked Luna on a big mahogany desk.
>The Ambassadors desk.
>He only mildly freaked out as you plowed on top of all his paperwork.
>Today was a good day.
Stop rapping and stick to the harp, harp-ass
Cause a champ is comin' through to smash your carcass
My bars blast, I'm kind of a smart-ass
a hard clash
Wrecking silly fillies who think their bars last
Chillin' syllables willing to riggy-wreck this
Flex this, my style is wild and reckless
Fuck it I got bored quick.
>"If you lose prepare to pucker."
>"Prepare to pucker."
"The fuck are you on about?"
>Celestia lets out an exasperated sigh.
>"If you fail to impress me, you shall have to kiss my rear."
"What, like the cheeks, or...?"
>Celestia follows you and nods.
>Stare at her.
"Rubba bub bub, six men in a tub, go punch a hippie and gimmie the dubs."
>"I... was that it?"
>"Well then, consider me unimpressed."
>The mare turns around.
>"Pucker up, Anonymous."
>You apply lip-balm and flex your tongue, and smirk back.
"Prepare your anus, Celestia."
>Rubba bub bub, six men in a tub, go punch a hippie and gimmie the dubs.
It's real shameful knowing that's better than anything I can come up with.
U rappin' Good, Anon
Yeah, haha, yeah shout out to my brothers, turn it up!
I put it on rollie, I'm drinkin' straight lean, a bitch is straight feelin' my diamonds
I'm rollin' specific, my nigga you countin' my shit, but that shit out my dome, burrrrt
Give it some time, diamonds, some niggas and rum
None of this money and no place to put it, so I'm puttin' all it up, turn up!
I tell all of you niggas, my family, I tell you, I tell you I love you
Now, tell all your family right there when I say, when I say that I love you
I done came with these bands with my niggas and niggas is callin' me crazy
I went to the doctor, he looked at my dick and he said I got rabies.
A lotta nigga tryna figure out
She gonna do a nigga, big? I know
I'm on the jury duty's corners standin' big, I know
Standin' big, I know, I want it big, I know
>Niggers have no dick
>You have no dick
>You are a nigger
>Woo wee woo
Sister bangin' time? Sister bangin' time.
>Yo I ain't time to be clever
>Just turn around and don't quiver
>Cause your threat won't deliver