>Don't forget the silly edition Edition
Anon has finally been brought to justice. Justice means no dessert and going to bed early.
>You are pastebin Anon.
>Your one job was to keep the list of pastebins accurate and up to date.
>You screwed up.
>And now you're paying the price.
>A team of elite policemares came for you in the night.
>They fed your dog and carried you away in a black bag.
>You were brought to the pony prison, a place where Equestria keeps the worst ponies around.
>"Hi anon, how've you been?" says your waifu.
>dark horse being played in the back room of the spa
>accompanied by a soft rhythmic thumping and heavy breathing
well I'm gay for fuse, now. I should probably read that story
New guy to these threads bump. Have mercy on me. Mythd's stories made me think of a thread that happened like a year or so ago. That was also the first time I wrote a short story for 4chan too. I'll post it if anyone wants it, however its not so much jail related.
write some alien isolation changeling edition in the prison
Alright, the thread was a /mlpk/ mash up.
>been in horse world for about a month, came in with nothing but your clothes, hunting pack, and glorious m1 Grand rifle
>the ponies really wanted to know what your wierd wood metal thing did. But you knew best to not show them. You lied and said it was a special stick for comfort so it never left your side.
>one day you are lounging outside in the gardens under a tree cleaning you're rifle
A clean rifle is a happy rifle~
>you hear hoofsteps approach, and Celestia appears
>"hello Anonymous, I'm sorry to bother you but I have terrible news. The griffons have declared war! I need your help. You are strong and very smart. I was wondering if you would help us in this great time of need."
>well shit. They have war here? Since when?
Alright, I'll help. When do we depart?
>"tomorrow at noon. The army departs for the fields"
>you spend that night preparing yourself, you could barely sleep.
>you are awoken by trumpets at dawn
>"I hope you are ready"
>you jump at the sudden sound of luna, who happens to have a major crush on you....
>"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. I just came to tell you that when you return, I'll be waiting for you on my room~"
>she winks in more ways than one as she leaves
>damnit boner, not now!
>you join up with the army as they leave for the fields. You would have never guessed that ponies would be excited for war, or what they called "special fun time"
>the field is just a large open area, the griffons arrive about the same time as you. Both sides hold untill they are lined up and set.
>shining armor steps put in front, "Alright, we're gonna go in hard and fast. Understood? Show them how a real warrior is!"
>the army roars, but you just focus looking through your binoculars. You spot what appears to be their general, just so happens to be straight ahead of you.
I got dibs on their general, I'm gonna have fun watching him squirm.
I feel like it's rushed horribly... but next post is the end of it. Unless you guys want me to continue? I don't think you would. Unless anon in prison for war crimes I guess. Anyways...
>a nearby gaurd laughs, "yeah, especially since you have no armor to protect yourself."
>you laugh back, he doesn't know the glorious power of your m1
What if I told you I won't get touched?
>just as he is about to retort the bugle sounds and everyone starts to run forward charging the enemy position.
>the griffons quickly do the same
>you easily take the lead in the race to face the enemy. Once you reach 500 yards you stop and aim directly at the general
> POP, POP, POP, POP, POP, POP, POP, PING!
>4 kills, including the general, and 2 wounded. Not bad for your first volley
>as you start your reload you hear their screams of pain, then suddenly you feel everyones eyes on you. You stop and look up and around.
>both sides look at you with horror
What the fuck are you dumbasses looking at, fucking kill them anets get this war over with!
>a brave pony gaurd approaches you, "b-but anon.... we don't kill. This is just to show who all are going to be the dominant sexual partners for the orgy tonight."
>suddenly you notice that the swords are nothing but foam and each guard has some sort of sex toy with them.
>that's why gaurd armor is so skimpy around their ass....
>a griffon roars out, "he is a monster! He killed the general! He needs to be stopped! Get him!"
>oh hell naw!
>you open fire on everything that comes at you
>you don't know how but you managed to get away
>you now live running for your life as a war criminal.
>you can never go back
And that's it. Horrible, I know.
Yeah, well, at the time I wrote it I wasn't thinking about that. I just wrote it cause it involved war and you using a glorious m1, the whole orgy thing was a stupid twist at the end. It's a stupid one shot. Never really meant it to be anything great, especially since I suck at writing.
>m1 grand rifle
I'm call in /k/ on you
>your fuckin dead kiddo
>Implying that M1 Garand is the only rifle
Britannia pone armed with an SA-80 up in this motherbucker.
are there prison orgies?
Is Anon not allowed to go because all the ponies are scared of him?
>Will the ponies decide that forced abstinence is unequine treatment of prisoners?
>Will the bravest ponies in Equestria be recruited for the fearsome task?
>Will this flimsy premise for mane6/princesses/anon action get picked up?
It really is a grand rifle, isn't it?
If you cover a unicorn's horn they think it's night time and fall asleep.
>Implying a brit would even have a pocketknife, let alone a gun
>If you cover a unicorn's horn they think it's night time and fall asleep.
I read a little greentext story about how if you cover a pegasi's head with a blanket they think it's night and fall asleep.
I wonder if it's a crime.
I wonder if it works on Griffons.
I wonder if it works on Alicorns.
If you stick a pegasus in a cage, they auickly become attached to whoever cares for them. Because of this, during the time of warring tribes, pegasii prisons were similar to modern pony prisons.
Prisoners who got out of these prisons or were released often bece wardens or security to new earth pony and unicorn prisons. After all, if they treated you that nice as a prisoner, it would be mean not to be that kind back.
Minor points of eacalation happened over the years, leading to the effective prison system the ponies have today.
Anon does not go to any of the prison orgies, even though it is mandatory for all non-married/herded individuals to go to at least one a week, unless they're sick or otherwise have a note from the doctor.
The warden tries to get him to participate, but he refuses, and not many prisoners or guards are going to argue with a black suit.
Outside help needs to be brought in.
>Be in horseland prison.
>Apparently petting the sun princess is a capital offence here, and now here you are.
>Well, you can't say it's all bad.
>Sure, you have no pudding privelage, but this place is basically a resort.
>Magic cameras and what not had to be installed in your room, since apparently black outfit prisoners are supervillians and such.
>Your bathroom is camera free out of decency though, so there's that.
>Still haven't gotten a cellmate yet though.
>Guess it must be hard finding someone who wants to stay with an alien supervillian.
>There's a knock at the door, and you rise to answer.
>Watching the alien through the cameras, you observe his new roommate being escorted in.
>With your mighty sun powers, you made sure that the pony he got looks the most like you and will also not say anything if something happens.
>The guards leave, and you lick your lips, waiting for the inevitable to happen.
"Come on alien, snuggle that pony for mama."
>You are Strawberry Smoothie, and you are so going to get snuggled.
>But once you're free, your slate will be clean.
>But this Alien is so much bigger than you expected...
>It sounded like so much better of a deal when Celestia offered it.
>Get snuggled a bit, get it in trouble and have it get shipped off, and you're free to return to your old life, past crimes erased.
>"Nice to meet you, I'm Anon," the alien says, shocking you.
>All you can do is let out a squeak and sit down.
>The alien kneels down, and you close your eyes and pray he's gentle.
>Be Happy Peppy Gary, warden of the Learn-a-torium prison and rehabilitation center.
>And you're really worried about this new alien prisoner.
>Black suit right off the bat, and the prisoner who offered to be his roomate is just an orange class.
>At least Celestia has them under observation so nothing bad can happen.
>It is the worst kind of criminal after all.
>Non-consentual petting is a most un-happy of crime, and on the princess no less.
>Hopefully it doesn't get worse, especially since it doesn't get pudding privelages.
>Maybe you should appeal for it to get one a day, to help keep it happy.
>Anon does not go to any of the prison orgies, even though it is mandatory for all non-married/herded individuals to go to at least one a week, unless they're sick or otherwise have a note from the doctor.
>The warden tries to get him to participate, but he refuses, and not many prisoners or guards are going to argue with a black suit.
>Outside help needs to be brought in.
it sounds stupid
but i want it
>the warden nudges you into the orgy chamber and closes the door
>the click of the lock and a muffled "have fun!" Can be heard before you turn your attention to the display in front of you
>a large, plain room with what appears to be a giant mattress for a floor
>two doors in the back wall one labeled "bathroom" and the other labeled "supplies"
>you shudder to think of what's behind that door as you turn to those currently using the room
>several passed out stallions and about twice as many disappointed looking mares scatter the room, save for one couple going at it in the corner
>you make eye contact with one of the mares who whispers in her friend's ear
>you give a meek wave and she whips her ass around and returns the gesture with her tail
>you turn your head to hide your bush as another mare approaches you from the side
>"little nervous big fella? It's okay we won't bite. Unless you ask nicely of course."
"I'm actually just wondering if I can leave"
>"sorry. Can't let you go until you've had at least a little fun. Here..."
>she rummages through a saddlebag on the ground and pulls out a small vial filled with a fine pink powder and drops it in your hand
>"Morning Steel. Natural aphrodisiac. Just a little up your nose and youll be changing your mind about leaving"
"Drugs? Are you even supposed to have those?"
>"Oh don't worry. There's a whole bunch in the supply closet. Here. Just try some."
>you turn to walk away but she puts her forehooves on your shoulders and gives you a look that you've seldom seen outside of porn and jewellery stores.
>she eyes you up and down as some of the other mares make their way over to you
>"What are you so afraid of anon? It's just a little..."
>You are Anon, and you are a prisoner of Equestria.
>Well... Slave is more accurate... Gladiator if we're being technical.
>Caught for theft, disturbing the peace and non-consensual cuddling.
>How were you supposed to know someone owned those apples? And that pony with the hat and drawl was way to cute not to pet.
>The same with those guards. These ponies barely reach up past your knees, perfect snuggle-size.
>Magic slap to the head put a stop to your supposed "rampage".
>And now here you are; The Great Equestrian Arena, were criminals from around the world entertain the crowd and work out their unacceptable behavior in the ring.
>Turns out, it's a lot like wrestling, staged (NOT fake!) wrestling, only it's more improvised, almost like play-fighting.
>Sure, sometimes people get hurt, but it's never anything serious.
>That changed somewhat when you arrived.
>It wasn't your fault, no-one had explained the rules! They just told you to fight.
>So you did... Right in to that poor little stallion's face. He sported one hell of a shiner after that.
>But you worked with it, using it to mold your image and build up your hype.
>Now they fear you.
>Your opponent walks into the ring, Brass Nuts, a minotaur. Taller than a pony, still smaller than you.
>You watch him from backstage as he prances to his happy-go-lucky music, working the crowd. They love him, he's the underdog in this match.
>You're the unknown creature from another world. The only human in theirs.
>You're a heel, a bad guy. You don't play nice (but make sure not to hurt anyone too bad).
>You're one of a kind.
>You psych yourself up, making sure Brass can spot you waiting at the entrance. He's already sweating, eyeing you nervously as you flash him a grin.
>Your music starts playing loudly, the crowd booing and gasping in fear by the more aggressive song.
Short green based on an idea I posted in the previous thread about a gladiator-type story.
Whoa, that song is pure jumbled chaos.
Truth be told, I can't think of a fitting song at the moment.
Think I'll have to.
Already got two other greens in the work, one of which is going to be pretty long.
Right now, I don't have the time or energy for another, I'll just get all stressed and it will just end up sucking.
If anyone else wants to work with this idea, or something similar, then please go right ahead.
I want to see Gladiator-Anon make a herd of fellow female gladiators. Amazon warrior herd.
>Back to being Strawberry Smoothie, you are far less snuggled than you expected.
>Like, not at all snuggled.
>In fact, this Hyooman, Anon, is actually a real gentlecolt.
>Right now, he's walking with you to the dining hall for dinner.
>Apparently he hasn't eaten all day so far, and that's no good.
>Walking up to the order line, you pick out a plate of Prench salad for yourself, and of course, your meal's pudding cup.
>This evening it's chocolate, your favourite.
>Anon pick up a carnivore and herbivore plate.
>You have a Black suit as a friend and he looks like a total badass.
>Now no other inmates will bother you.
>As Anon joins you at a table, another Black suit approaches, a changeling queen.
>Maybe you thought too soon...
>Be Chelicera, Changeling queen and all around most evil and awesome prisoner in here.
>Even the other black suits don't mess with you, but now there's a new one.
>Fresh food, as you like to think.
>Puffing yourself up, you walk over, fangs out in a grin.
>'Was this thing always this big?' you think to yourself as you get close.
>Whatever it is, it's bigger than a minotaur, but you've dealt with them before.
"So, I take it you're new around here?" you ask, keeping up your scary face.
>The monkey/minotaur thing looks over at you, a piece of meat half in it's mouth.
>It's head jerk's back slightly as the meat gets sucked in, chewed and swallowed before it replies.
>"Yeah, and you are?"
"Uh, my name's Chelicera," you reply, taken aback by the sudden question.
>Wait, is that indifference you taste?!
>This thing isn't intimidated!?
>"I'm Anon, nice to meet you," it replies, the indifference fading into the faint starts of friendship.
>No, this isn't what you wanted, it's supposed to be scared.
"Well, yeah, uh, good to see a new black suit around here, what are you in for?"
>"Petting Celestia. Didn't know it was against the law, but then again, I didn't know she was sapient, or that well, most things here were."
>Gulping, you find yourself slowly walking away from the non-consensual petter.
>Even you're not that evil.
"Well, I suppose I'll see you around then," you say returning to your table.
>You're going to need to seriously reconsider how you approach this thing.
cuddle the love out of that changeling queen
>Be Warden Happy Peppy Gary, and that Changeling is quite scary.
>After all, she's both a hive queen and a black suit.
>Well, her shell's black anyways, but it's the suit that matters.
>And she want to talk to Anon.
>Watching them from across the room, you make sure your newest inmate isn't getting in trouble.
>Cheli, as you call her, not to her face, mind you, seems surprised by Anon's responses, and soon walks away, no troubles to be had.
>Any day where you have no trouble is a good day.
>It seems Anon and Strawberry are getting along well too.
>Thank Celestia, you were worried about her, but everything is okay.
>Looking at Anon's dishes, you shudder at the lack of puddingy goodness on them.
>If things go as they have, you may be able to push for two puddings a day for him, rather than just pushing for one.
>Well, waiting and watching is necessary first.
>Perhaps getting a guard to chaperon him would be good...
>Be Cookies n' Cream.
>Somewhere, you feel as if your job is about to be given to a different guard.
>It's not a good feel...
>This time, you're human, so you must be Anon.
>After a good meal, you rise up with Strawberry.
"So, what is there to do in this place?" you ask, looking around.
>"Lots of stuff, like Arts and Crafts, or you could go to the gym, the library, or even the spa if you wanted."
"I suppose the Library would be a good place to start. No point in doing physical activity right after eating."
>"Sounds good, follow me."
>Hopefully they have some books explaining how this pony world works.
>Anon dresses up as Nightmare Moon for Nightmare Night
>his costume is just a horn, a helmet, and wings, but it's good enough for a bipedal green monkey
>it's so good, in fact, that everypony believes it
>it doesn't help that he keeps shouting "Boo!" and eating candy corn
>only bad guys like candy corn
>he's banished to Tartarus Supermax
>he tries to prove that he isn't Nightmare Moon by taking off the costume
>everypony thinks he's mutilating himself
>he's restrained and sent to the infirmary
>the doctors are confounded by how difficult it is to reattach his 'limbs'
>eventually, they decide to cheat
>if they cast an alicorn transformation spell on a mutilated alicorn, it should re-grow his horn and wings
>they're very confused when he turns into a big, green, male alicorn, instead of a blue female one, but they chalk it up to magical disturbances
>That screaming fit when he woke up was probably just from excess magical energy
>Since you're suspended in a rest pod, you must be Chelicera, best Changeling queen around.
>Just because you're the only one around doesn't mean you're not the best around.
>Enough of that though, you must figure out what to do with this new inmate.
>It has no fear of you, , so maybe you can use it for things other than terrorizing.
>Heck, you're not even sure what it is, let alone if it's a male or female.
>Though it doesn't matter much if you want to make them love you.
>Hmn... there's a though.
>You could do with a new love source, since the best you have here is that silly nickname the warden gave you.
>Cheli, while it makes some sense, it makes you think he's thinking of Celestia, or as some refer to her in private, Celly.
>Not like anypony has told her that.
>Sighing, you slide from your pod, coming out perfectly clean.
>No reason not to go and learn more about your new... whatever you decide it's going to be.
>Now, if you were a giant strange thing, where would you be...
>Be Anon with a nagging sensation someone just called you strange, which in itself is strange.
>After all, you are a strange stranger in a strange land.
>And speaking of strange, half these pony rules make no sense.
>You can't have salt, growing tomatoes, potatoes, and a host of other common foods is a jailable offence.
>This is gonna take some getting used to.
>At least Strawberry is here to talk with you as you read.
>Well, she's more here to help make sense of this stuff while she reads her own book.
>Almost an hour passes before the door to the library opens again, and a somewhat irritated looking Chelicera walks in.
>"There you are, Anon, I've been looking everywhere for you."
"Oh, hey, what's up?"
>"Well, since you're new and all, I figured I could help you get used to here. I am one of the longest term prisoners here, after all."
"Strawberry's already showing me around, but another person to talk to would be nice."
>Taking a seat, her mouth turns up in the tiniest of smiles.
>Be a sexually frustrated Celestia.
>Why didn't that alien snuggle the pony you sent him.
>She was a perfect victim.
>How are you gonna get off now?
Hey guys, me again. Sorry I haven't posted in so long. I had to find alternate WiFi. I've been using my data. I got banned again from using my data for breaking Global Rule #1 somehow.
Don't even know how I broke that rule. I only post shitty green in this thread, and occasionally bump another thread in /mlp/
Just let him ravish you, you dirty little slut.
Alright, green outta fuckin' nowhere!
>Be Emerald, baddest daimond dog in the greater Canterlot area.
>Just got SEVEN DAYS in the slammer for not saying 'gesundheit' after a pony sneezed.
>You're gonna have the run of this place by Tuesday.
>Step one: find the biggest guy/gal in the place.
>Step two: go total alpha bitch.
>Step three: do whatever you want.
>The lunch room is the best place to find the biggest inmate.
>You slam the large double doors open and everyone stares as you enter.
>Piling a tray high with meat and meat accessories you scan the room and see a large hunched figure sitting alone.
>Be Anon, trying to enjoy your garden salad, after a breakfast heavy with greasy meats, lunch had to be a bit lighter.
>The diamond dog that slammed the door was heading in your direction.
>Every diamond dog that gets sent here, without fail, challenges you.
>Every diamond dog that challenges you, fails.
>Today will be no different.
>Alright Emerald, this guy is a bit bigger than you anticipated but he's eating a salad, herbivore=wimp.
>Activate alpha bitch mode.
>You drop a chicken leg into his salad.
>"Oops." you say in the least sincere way possible.
>The entire lunch room is dead silent.
>Big guy looks at the salad then at you then picks up the drumstick with his paw-grabber things, sticks the meat end in his mouth and pulls out the bare bone and starts chewing.
>The chewing echos in the silence as he parts his teeth slightly to loudly crunch through the wierd cartilage bit, some of the closer ponies turn green and push thier trays away.
>You might have fucked up. Time to re-double your efforts.
>"I'm top dog around here now and if you know what's good for ya, you'll roll over and play dead.
>Dis lil pup don't know how bad she just fucked up.
>You raise one finger, the closer ponies start to slowly back away, the pup doesn't notice.
"I'm gonna lay you out with one finger."
>"I'd like to see you try."
"We have a saying where I come from." you say with a smirk "Bitches get scritches."
> Like lightning your finger finds itself behind her ear and starts to work it's magic.
>"HEY WHAT DOooooo ahh *wimper*..." her complaints quickly end as she falls into a blissful sleep.
>Two pony guards in riot gear come up to just outside your reach.
>Uhh she's in cell block B, cell 112 if you could, uh, you know... please?
"Yeah, yeah, I'll make sure to tuck her in."
>You scoop up the silly pupppy and lumber out of the cafeteria.
"Every time with the diamond dogs." you say to yourself.
Damn this site became Spooky all of the sudden
Here is a thing my drawfriend did
>be skeleton anon
>be in prison
>not for being spooky or anything. Ponies are really acepting of how you look.
>you just made too many bad puns.
>it's alright so far. Lots of milk, and a nice bed.
>oh, also you met anon anon.
>He loves puns. Well more or less puns and bad jokes make him chuckle.
>Better than nothing heheheheheh.
Lads, where could I find the lewd parts of mythd's story? They all seem to be missing from the pastebin tex.
Well lads I just finished mythd's story, please PLEASE tell me this isn't finished! I've spent hours reading this it can't end there!
There's so much more that needs to be done! Sandy, happy, FUCKING AMBER EMBER, it's such a long wonderful story but whoever made it really skipped out on the lewd scenes
GOD IS REAL
LIFE INFACT HAS PURPOSE
I think a few threads back he mentioned that he was starting university studies or something like that so he wasn't able to post daily like he was at the beginning of his story. He's still around I believe, just posting a bit less frequently.
Sorry I've been posting so slowly. School is a bitch. I was busy today, but I should be able to post tomorrow... hopefully
Huh... I thought people were only meh about the lewd at best, hated it at worst. I stopped writing it because it was a huge drain on creative energy
I sound like a tosspot. If I can't fit anything into the story at this point, would you all like me to try making little one shots once I finish the green?
It's great to hear your still writing man, I know id enjoy some more lewd scenes.
I mean there is still SO many things you could do! You could do stuff for all the charecters that haven't had a scene yet, you could do write ups for charecters like the warden and maybe other people in the prison (like that fight club minotaur chick), you could even do scenes involving different members of anons herd or something.
Tbh I really liked your lewd scenes (especially Feygls) I can't imagine why people wouldn't.
You better do one of Sandy
I mean, if you want or can, I'm not making you do it right now
School is sure a bitch...
>Tfw only one month of vacation
This isn't the first time, my drawfriend tends to forget that, he draws a base earth pony, then adds the details (horn or wings)
So you guys want lewd stories?
How much is the limit in lewd here?
So much great new green, it's incredible. Thank you everypony.
>A human, a changeling queen and a pegasus walk into a spa.
>And since you're the human, that makes you Anon.
>What, you were expecting a joke?
>Well, after some reading, you decided a little relaxation before bed would be nice.
>And while you aren't the most pleased about Strawberry paying for you, the sum total of what you own here is nothing but the clothes on your back.
>Er, in your room. you don't own the prison uniform.
>Anyways, Spa relaxation go!
>You've never been much of one for spa's back home, but here seems much the same as there.
>Except this one is run by ponies and a few minotaurs.
>Speaking of minotaurs, the ones that work here are all female.
>Now there's a taste of home, but that's not what you're here for.
>Laying down on a massage table, you settle in while your masseuse prepares.
>And you're definitely not oggling the minotaur in front of you who's massaging Strawberry.
>Nope, not at all.
>My, that's a nice shot of lust, you think, savouring the thick, rich taste of it.
>Of course, you're Chelicera, changeling queen and all around best pony.
>You're also the best changeling too, but you're definitely better than any pony.
>But anyways, you're enjoying a nice bit of lust from Anon.
>Glancing over, you see his eyes watching a swaying minotaur butt.
>Well now, the human likes flank.
>And being a female, flank is something you have in droves.
>Looking back at yourself, you pause.
>Hmnn... maybe you need to need a little more sweet stuff in your diet.
>Your flank is looking a little poor, right now.
>Nothing a little crush won't solve.
>And your neighbour has been showing some signs of that.
>She's often getting a little doe eyed around that one security colt.
>Once you pack your flank a little more, seducing this alien will be easy, and you'll have another black suit under your hoof.
>Speaking of hooves, these masseuses are amazing.
>You'll need to kidnap some when you start your hive back up.
>For now, you relax.
If it's not too much to ask, I'd really like Anon and Short Fuse to
have a private and intimate cuddle session which may or may not involve necking and may or may not end with goodnight kisses.
>How much is the limit in lewd here?
You. I like you.
I don't know how I could forget about that.
Ever since I read Mythd's greentext when Anon
cuddledwith Cookies, I wanted to do that with a character of my own, and I promise you, i'll do that. Be cuddling in real life or dreams
Don't get why people would hate them, I thought they were pretty hot, especially Feygl.
I've always had a thing for having humans' unusually long sexual endurance (compared to other species) being carried over to Equestria and made a big deal of.
I wanna see Amber get some action! Have seen a few minotaur greens, but they never have any lewd.
I'm all for one shots dedicated to the characters that didn't get a lewd in the main story.
Is it strange that, upon reading about Amber's body mod potion she's working on, I immediately did math with what you mentioned about Breezies being rather strechy?
Because I want to see this.
>After a good night's sleep, you're a very awake and alert human, ready to take on day two in prison.
>Your own personal shower and bathroom means no fear of dropping the soap.
>Do you even have to worry about that?
>I mean, it's not like these ponies and what have you have been scary or intimidating or even grumpy.
>Exiting the bathroom, you notice Strawberry waking up in her own bed, still somewhat sleepy.
"Bathroom's free. I'm heading for breakfast," you say, walking to the door.
>All you get is a tired nod as she plods to the lavatories.
>Thankfully the path to the mess hall is well marked and also filled with other prisoners, so it's difficult to get lost.
>You do get a bit of a berth around you, given black suits are supposed to be super villains and other big bad folks.
>That means you're one of the top dog criminals here.
>Maybe you should gather some thugs to work under you...
>Shaking your head, you let out a laugh, causing several ponies near you to scurry back in fear.
>That'd be silly, and besides, you're not some gang lord.
>Once you're out of here, you'll figure out where to go then.
>For now, breakfast.
>Hopefully they have bacon.
>Be somewhat sleepy Gary, rising in time for breakfast after a late night preparing papers to grant Anon one pudding a day.
>After serious contemplation, you decided pushing for two is a bit too much, after all, they're just starting his stay here.
>If they starts to show signs of decline, you should be able to bump them up to two puddings a day.
>But right now, you need to get these papers to the kitchen, so Anon can have one with breakfast.
>After that, you'll have to get them to the doctors for a medical exam, and then...
>Maybe a nice tea break.
>Yeah, that sounds nice.
>Scooping up your papers, you head out on your way to the dining hall.
>Arriving at the hall, you feel your gut sink as you see Anon already there, with food, heading to a table.
>Another meal without delicious puddingy goodness, how can they stand it?
>Why, you'd hardly be able to get up in the morning if not for the promise of your morning butterscotch.
>Well, that changes now, you'll make sure they get their pudding of choice, even if it's only one a day.
with root of nightshade
I'm starting to get tired of Anon getting sent to prison for misdemeanours. I get that the idea is that serious crimes are rare in Equestria and so on, but making jaywalking a jailable offence is essentially turning Equestria in to a totalitarian nightmare, which is kinda against the point.
One time, someone said Anon getting amnesia in the prison could be a thing.
How he got there? He didn't know.
But he was pretty sorry about what he did.
Pretty much a pony level anon.
There are thousands of ideas for an Anon in pone prison.
Folks, i'm gonna be sorry again for not updating my story... I finished a 10k word homework right now, and it wasted all my weekend.
But I promise some big update to end chapter 3 and start chapter 4.
One more thing, my drawfriend asked:
"What kind of stuff they want to do with Shorty? I might draw it"
What to do, boys?
Then you'd get people whining about edge. Just make it so non-consentual cuddling is like rape in Equestria, and have him take pleasure in cuddling Celestia and/or Luna despite their protests
and possibly later, arousal,for a few months until he's finally caught and put in pony jail.
And then he notices that the other blacksuited inmates, all of them mares, look pretty cuddly as well, including that changeling queen who tries to act like she runs the place…
>And then he notices that the other blacksuited inmates, all of them mares, look pretty cuddly as well, including that changeling queen who tries to act like she runs the place…
Foals do not meet the minimum standards of quality for rugby balls.
Due to certain oversights from long ago, it's only sexual relations between humans and nonhumans that are criminalised.
>Most ponies do not even know the law exists due to the extreme rarity of humans, and it is considered merely minor trivia.
>As a result of this, Anon is only arrested after an unfortunate incident at the ponice charity quiz night.
>Many high ranking ponies want more of the D, and are working to get the law repealed and Anon pardoned.
>Anon is stuck in pony jail until this is done.
>Excessive clothing is treated by equestrians similarly to how earthers treat public nudity.
For extra funzies, the ponies don't really give a damn about the rape, but are angry with Anon for damaging one of his rapees's dresses.
Human food being toxic to ponies is always a fun premise
It doesn't even have to be toxic to them. For the longest time, we assumed tomatoes were toxic becuase the rest of the tomato plant is, until some guy ate a shitload of them to prove they weren't.
Considering that Earth ponies would need to harvest potatoes by putting a variant nightshade in their mouth, it makes sense they wouldn't have tried to eat them. Hence hay fries.
I woke up at 4:50 in the morning, dehydrated and hungover, and after a little bit of lurking, I was hit by the inspiration to write. So prepare for a nice, hot, steaming pile of green shit.
>Be anon not in pone prison.
>Day whatever in Equestria. Like you were actually gonna count.
>Seriously, you stopped keeping track after the first couple of weeks. It's been YEARS now.
>Fuck that noise.
>The last two years have been spent living in Canterlot.
>You moved here from Ponyville after you got tired of Twilight's shit.
>Fucking horse just wouldn't leave you alone.
>At first you had a lot of fun with it.
>Always going on adventures into the Everfree, saving your small town from evil monsters, even helping out the various little ponies with whatever menial tasks they had at hand (hoof?).
>Twilight studying your body for science, that was always a good time, asking questions about you and your old world.
>But after a few years, you grew weary of it all.
>It was cool for a little bit, but you really just wanted to settle down and live a semi-normal life amongst the cute little horsies.
>And so, after exchanging a few letters with the Queencess of Equestria herself, you made the move to Canterlot.
>You were hoping to get a room in the castle or something.
>Wishful thinking. At least she set you up with a nice little house.
>Canterlot wasn't all bad.
>It certainly wasn't as comfy as Ponyville. But at least there were no constant monster attacks or anything.
>The snobby rich ponies in this place drove you up the wall, but if you knew what places to avoid it was pretty easy to stay away from them.
>And there weren't any inner-city ziggers to worry about ganging up on you and kicking your shit in or stealing your stuff.
>So hey, all in all it wasn't so bad here.
>Most of the ponies were pretty nice, and you really had to hand it to horseland: no cars and no noisy aircraft mad for a much more pleasant city-living experience.
>Also supper nice, cute little ponies probably helped out a bit. You never really were a city person...
>Today was another boring day, just the way you liked it.
>You're walking through a courtyard in one of the lower levels of Canterlot, on your way to the market.
>The sun shown low in the sky and clouds filled the air.
>It was the onset of Winter. A bit chilly for your tastes, but still nice.
>You take your time to observe all of the cute little creatures going about their day.
>Couples sharing a meal together outside of a restaurant, mares walking around with their little foals in tow, vendors pedaling their wares or trying to sell snacks.
>You can't help but smile as you watch the world around you.
>Truly this is paradise.
>You must have died and gone to Heaven all those years ago.
>But one thing catches your eye as you contemplate the beauty of this place.
>Up ahead of you, sitting in front of one of the many towers that line the outer walls of Canterlot was a guard pony.
>His head rested on his hoof, and he gazed out over his charge with a defeated look in his eyes, glancing here and there, then back to the sandwich which rested on the wall in front of him.
>Your heart broke a little when you saw that.
>You had to do something.
>Be Asinus Maximus, one of Canterlot's elite royal guards.
>Judged fit to serve the Queen, err, Princess herself!
>Except you spend your days sitting in a guard tower, watching the adjacent courtyard.
>This really wasn't what you signed up for.
>You had thought you were going to go to far off lands and fight for your Queen-princess.
>Uphold the honor of your great Equestrian Empire!
>Too bad you never payed attention in history class, or you might have known that the last time Equestria went to war was almost a millennium and a half ago.
>Normally your situation wouldn't have you so down, but things were different now.
>Your mother and father just passed away in a tragic zeppelin accident involving a mysterious rainbow blur.
>The ETSB refused to investigate.
>Now you were forced to confront your whole life, and you wondered if you had really lived up to their expectations, if your career as a mall-cop was enough to make them proud.
>Not to mention your fillyfriend just left you.
>A single tear rolls down your muzzle and onto the ground.
>Anon is your name, comforting sad ponies is your game.
>As you walk up the carpeted steps to the gray pony who sits above, you see a single tear fall from the one eye that you can actually see.
>Your heart breaks a little more.
>Just as you near the top of the stairs, the pony takes notice of you.
>He stands himself up, wiping away the tear with his hoof, and faces you, trying his best to seem professional and authoritative.
>”Good afternoon to you citizen, could I somehow be of help to you?”
>You have to resist the urge to scream in his face.
>Calm down Anon, this is Equestria, not Earth.
>You aren't being detained.
>You set all that aside for now, you have more important things to get to.
>You have a pony to comfort!
>Yea, you're gonna be that guy that everyone knows and loves how nice he is!
>Ponies will be like, 'Hay, have you heard of Anon?' and then they'll be like 'Oh yea, of course, everypony has heard of Anon! He's so nice, and handsome, and--'
>The guard pony looks at you with a raised eyebrow.
“Um, you looked kinda sad earlier. Ya K?”
>You forgot that you're awkward as fuck.
>It's all coming back to you now.
>You try to put on a weird, probably creepy smile.
Breakfast. I love coffee and all, but it only helps for so long before I need to eat.
Meh, I'm not really feeling it anymore. I might finish it later if I get bored, but just in case I don't:
>Blah blah, sit down with pony and put arm around shoulders.
>Talk about stuff, pone is sad.
>Hug pone and talk some more.
>Remember someone always loves you, etc.
>I'm not gay, but qtpone is qtpone, give a little kiss on the snoot.
>Sorry you feel bad, start to walk away.
>shaky 'who are you.'
>'I'm anon, I'm usually at the Steel Horse after work, you should swing by.'
>After wok in Steel Horse, talking to pone friends n' shit.
>Guard comes in with friends.
>Under arrest for kissng on top of snout, like rape I guess.
>Taking advantage of a sad horse too.
>Go to jail cause ur evil.
>Keep trying to be nice to qt pons in pon jail
>Get sent to pon jail jail
>Which they have to build just for you
>This happens a few more times
>Ponies end up covering a city sized are just with concentric jails
>Only the innermost and outermost actually have prisoners
>If it continues much further that city over there will need to be moved
Not dead, and haven't abandoned the thread! Sorry it's taking me so long to produce anything, school is hard and I have a girlfriend now so free time is rare
I suppose I'll do lewd one shots later on for the characters that didn't get any action in the main green
I'm loving all this green I'm seeing, keep up the good work everyone!
Prepare yourself, for my meh-tier writing skills!
>Well, day one.
>You're in ponyland.
>You're also in ponyland PRISON.
>And WHY are you in ponyland prison?
>Because the ponies here have no idea what you are.
>They literally sent you here because they're scared of you.
>You've done absolutely nothing wrong.
>You haven't even said your own name to anyone here.
>Meanwhile, they've talked about sending you to some place called 'Canterlot' many times, but for now, you're here.
>You've just arrived, by carriage, to the prison.
>Yet they didn't cuff you, for some reason.
>All the ponies here were absolutely frightened by you, but never bothered to take any precautions against you.
>A bit retarded, in your opinion, but whatever.
>Finally, you see a pony approaching you.
>She's white, she's got blond hair, and blue eyes.
>She has a serious look on her face.
>She's wearing a kind of Nazi-ish looking uniform.
>You also have a feeling she's going to be extremely racist.
>The two guards stand at attention as the mare walks up to you.
>She looks up at you, her cold, blank expression never changing.
>Then she jumps and lets out a big smile.
>"Good morning! It's nice to meet you! My name is Aryanne, but you can call me anything you want! Whatever makes you most comfortable here during your visit!"
>Oh my god she's so adorable.
>She's literally beaming with the biggest smile you've seen since you got here.
"Can, I, uh, I just- I'm just gonna hug you."
>You pick her up and hug the shit out of her.
>She's so soft and cuddly.
>Everyone nearby gasps.
>The guards back away from you.
>"HE'S GOT THE WARDEN HOSTAGE!!"
"W-wait, what?! No I don't-"
>"P-please don't hurt me, mister!"
>Aryanne looks absolutely frightened.
"No, I'm not! Y-you're just so cute! I wanted to hug you!"
>The guards all just scowl at you.
>"YOU VILLAINOUS MONSTER!"
>"We-we'll do anything you say! What do you want from us?!"
I beg your forgiveness, good sir. Time to off myself.
This nigga has the right idea.
Just pick that cute little mare up and hug her.
>"Just name it! An extra pillow? Thirty more minutes of nap time? TWO pudding cups a day?!"
"Nap time?... Pudding cups? What the hell kind of prison IS thi-"
>You look down at Aryanne.
>The guards stare at her like she just became Jesus.
>"-ANONYMOUS! THERE SHALL BE NO CURSING IN MY PRISON! APOLOGIZE!"
>You snuggle her.
>"W-what are you doing?"
"An apology snuggle, of course. It's what my species regularly does."
>She softly sighs.
"Do you accept my apology?"
"Good! Also, don't have your guards beat me up. Hugs are my species' way of saying hello."
>She looks at the guards and nods.
>They stand down and relax.
>You're about to set her down when she stops you.
>"Actually, I...I think I hurt my leg... can you...?"
"But of course. It's a common thing for my species to carry friends."
>Goddamn this cuddly pony.
>Soon enough, having heart attacks will be a regular thing 'for your species'.
>Which, you didn't believe for a single second that these ponies would buy any of your crap.
>But hey, you were wrong!
>And now you've got snuggles out of an adorable pony.
>Also, said snuggles can probably shorten your sentence.
>If it's not indefinite, of course.
>An apology snuggle, of course. It's what my species regularly does.
>Hugs are my species' way of saying hello.
>It's a common thing for my species to carry friends.
This Anon is a freaking genius!
>You carry Aryanne through the hallway-gate-thing.
>Some guards posted on the way scowl at you, sometimes in anger, and sometimes in what looks like jealousy.
>You're holding her like you would a cat.
>She doesn't seem to mind at all, though.
>She's resting her head on your arm.
>And though you still have absolutely no idea where you are, or WHY, you were glad that cute ponies, though owning a max-security prison, were simply just, well, cute ponies.
>When you arrive at the front doors of the thing, the two guards open them and allow you to enter.
>Then you're faced with the inside of the prison.
>It looks pretty damn nice.
>It doesn't even look like a prison.
>The floor is made of wood, the walls are painted a nice sandy color, and there's a tan mare with yellow hair behind a desk.
>Her eyes barely peek over it.
>"I-is that the warden?"
"Uuh, yeah. She hurt her leg, so I'm carrying her."
>Aryanne gives an embarrassed smile and nods.
>"Oh. Well, uh, okay then! So, you're the new inmate?"
"Well see, ABOUT that... I didn't even get any kind of chance to defend myself, and I think-"
>"-Well of course not! You're a big scary monster!"
"Thanks. I always try to look my best."
>She waves her hooves.
>"No no no, I didn't mean it like THAT! I-it's just..."
"You think I'm ugly, DON'T you?"
>"N-no! I just... I..."
>You cover your face and pretend to cry.
>"No, no! I..."
>She hops over the desk and flocks over to your side, looking up at you.
>"I didn't mean to make you cry! I'm sooo sorry!"
>Man, these ponies are just too easy to mess with.
>But really, you were just looking for an excuse to continue your snuggle-spree.
"Do... do you really mean it?"
>You pick her up with Aryanne still in your arms and hug her
>"-It's what his species does!"
>You can't help smile.
>These ponies are absolutely going to be the death of you.
"So. Want to be my friend?"
>The mare looks up at you and manages a small smile.
>And now you've got another mare to add to your collection!
>Christ, they're so soft.
>You almost forget for a second that you're in prison.
>For doing nothing.
>THOUGH, the cuddles are definitely fucking worth it.
>You start walking past the desk.
>-"Carrying friends is another thing his species does."
>You smile and nod.
"You... you want me to put you down?"
>You manage a pouty face.
>"Well, I don't want to be rude to a friend..."
>You continue walking.
>You are literally having too much fun with this.
>Then again though, what are the chances of having another dream as cool as this, right?
>Gotta snuggle 'till you drop!
>Aryanne pipes up.
>"S-so, do you want a tour of the prison?"
>She grins and points down the hallway you're walking through.
>"Just take a right here, and you can see the dining room!"
>"I don't think I've actually seen the whole prison before..."
"Sure thing, captain!"
>You take off through the short hallway and turn.
>You immediately are faced with the dining room.
>It looks like a cafeteria, but with much nicer tables and chairs.
>But it's empty.
>"Everypony's napping right now!"
>You smile and lightly squeeze them both.
>Just them talking was fucking adorable.
>In turn, they both blush.
>Aryanne leads you over to another room.
>The art room.
>Because prisons apparently have art rooms here.
>It's still empty, and it looks a bit like a classroom.
>It's also very colorful.
>It's like staring at the sun broken into a rainbow.
>You quickly move on and come across the 'nap room'.
>It's full of ponies.
>You're pretty sure you'll have a heart attack if you step in there.
>There's a mare sprawled out on her back, snoring and drooling slightly.
>There's another curled up like a dog, holding her tail.
>Then there's another one doing the same thing, but instead is nibbling on her tail.
>Guys are really out-numbered here.
>You only count three.
>>Guys are really out-numbered here.
>>You only count three.
>Your smile grows wider.
>There's so many mares that need cuddling here.
>You feel like some sort of retard, just compelled to pet any and every single mare in this room.
>You think it'd be a bit weird with the guys, though they are just as cute as the mares are.
>But still, you know, guys.
>That'd probably be weird.
>Then you hear a small bell ring from inside.
>The ponies start getting up.
"Uh, Anne? How many ponies are in this room?"
>She puts a hoof to her chin.
>"Shhhooould be sixty seven, now including you!"
>You don't think you're prepared enough mentally for sixty six ponies.
>Then the door opens.
>A pony in a neon orange jumpsuit sticks her head out.
>She looks at you.
>"Oooh, what are YOU? Are you a monster?!"
>As soon as you open your mouth, she smiles.
>"-Oh! You're friends with the warden and Penny!"
>You hear whispering inside, and see a few mares hopping, trying to see you through the small window in the door.
>The mare turns back into the room.
>"We've got a tall new friendly creature!... He's... he's really handsome..."
>...You're pretty sure you weren't supposed to hear that last bit.
>You hear a few gasps and giggles from inside.
>"I wanna meet him!!"
>"He's just outside?!"
>"Come on, let's see him!!"
>Then the door swings open.
>For a split second, you see dozens of pairs of eyes just locked on you.
>Then every single one of them come pouring out.
>Before you can move, you're literally SURROUNDED in mares.
>Some are standing on their hind legs, looking up at you from your sides.
>Others are flying above and around your head.
>Some are playing with your hands.
>They're ALL asking questions.
>"What's your favorite color?!"
>"What the HAY ARE YOU?!"
>"Hey, I want to be carried, too!"
>"We've got a tall new friendly creature!... He's... he's really handsome..."
>...You're pretty sure you weren't supposed to hear that last bit.
>You hear a few gasps and giggles from inside.
I would literally have a heartattack.
>Then, you start noticing a few other questions.
>"Soo, what's a stud like YOU doing here?"
>"Care for a herd?"
>"You into Pegasi?"
>"Do you last long?~"
>"Y-you wouldn't fuck a pony, would you?"
>"You look like you'd be so... big..."
>Someone slaps your ass.
>And here you thought these ponies only had rainbows and sunshine on the mind.
>You actually feel Anon Jr. poking out a bit.
>The mares in front of you stop and stare.
>They grow red.
>One bites her lip.
>Another looks up at you.
>"C-can I t-touch it?"
>She slowly inches a hoof forwards.
>Her face grows extremely red.
>A majority of the mares go silent and watch.
"I- I uhh, I don't..."
>She starts sweating.
>Then you see your pants start glowing blue.
>What the fu-
>In a split second, they're pulled down.
>Along with your boxers and everything.
>You suddenly feel so embarrassed you might die.
>All the mares are so red, you'd believe that it's the dominant coat color around here.
>You even see one of the guys staring.
>Some of the mares are just speechless.
>Some jaws are dropped.
>Some are moving their mouths like fish.
>And others are biting their lips and smiling.
>Aryanne's trying to sneak looks at you.
>The desk pony is staring.
>The cuteness AND the embarrassment is too much.
>Your heart's beating like crazy.
>Like, REALLY crazy.
>You feel a sharp pain in your chest.
>Your breath gets caught in your throat.
>You think you feel your heart stop.
>You clutch your chest and fall backwards.
>The mares move out of the way, and your back hits the wooden floor.
>The two in your arms practically crush you.
>The last thing you see is Aryanne's rump in your face.
>>"Y-you wouldn't fuck a pony, would you?"
>Since you're not in prison, you must be Celestia.
>A very sexually frustrated Celestia.
>This stupid, sexy alien refuses to non-consensualy snuggle a mare.
>You'll have to figure something better out.
>For now, rageclopping will have to do...
>Be Ben Dover, professional multi-species physician and head doctor at the Learn-a-torium prison.
>And today, you have to do a physical for a new inmate.
>As best as you have heard, it's like a minotaur, but isn't.
>It'll be here after breakfast, so you have some time to prepare.
>Papers, papers and more papers.
>If it was a minotaur, this would be so much easier.
>Time to prepare your sucker jar and bandage box.
>Nobody likes having blood taken.
>Even you're somewhat nervous when doing it.
>But it is part of your job, and you're proud of your work.
>The warden should be bringing them any moment now.
>Having finished your breakfast, you're Anon, ready to grasp the day.
>Well, grasp whatever you can as a prisoner of a cutesy pony society.
>Oh, hey, it's the warden.
>"Good morning, Anon, I hope everything finds you well."
"So far, yes, thank you. And how about you? How are you so far?"
>"A lot of work this morning, since I need to handle all your paperwork, but I'll manage. I came to let you know you need to visit our doctor right now."
"Alright. Are you going to escort me there, or do you have someone to guide me?"
>"I can lead you. It's on the way back to my office after all."
>Dropping your dishes where they go, as far as you can tell, you follow the Warden out of the mess hall.
>"This is just going to be some simple tests and questions, just so we can know how to take care of you if you get sick," the warden says, punctuating what he says with waves of a hoof.
"No problem. I am an alien after all."
>"Hopefully not too alien," a pony in a white labcoat says, standing outside a room, "we do have to be able to heal you, after all."
>Time to meet the doctor.
Yeeeaaah, a big part of why my writing's meh-tier is muh pacing.
FimFiction always took a shit on me for that.But hey, at least you've got >>25324125 to deliver the good stuff!
Noooo, I want more....please Mr. Writefag.
>You are anon
>And you finally made it to Equestria
>How, is beyond you, one minute your shitposting, the next you've got your face in the dirt and your ass in the air.
So this is what it's like be OP huh?
>And now you're heading to prison, fuck
>"Mr. Mous the charges laid before you are as follow 47 counts of murder in the form of fly swatting, 3 counts of property damage in the form of destroying the homes of spiders, a staggering count of 2247 further murders in the form of destroying entire ant colonies, and the most heinous of your crimes non-consensually hugging a total of 22 ponies. For these crimes I sentence you to life in the Equestrian recreational institute under the highest level of security.
'That was about 10 minutes ago, you pleaded guilty in the most sarcastic tone of voice you could muster, however it was enough for the judge to make your sentence final and the guards to throw you into a wagon and haul your ass to jail, either the judge was an idiot, a prick, or sarcasm doesn't exist here, each pissed you off greatly'
>After about an hour of bumping around in the back of the carriage, the vehicle came to a sudden halt, throwing you face first into the carriage wall
>"Listen up prisoner I want you with your face to the wall and hands behind your back"
Well they did the first half of that for you at least
>After being brought out of the carriage you finally got a look at the place they were putting you, and god it was sickeningly colourful, the walls were an ugly mess of green, blue, red, yellow, it was like a goddamn LSD trip irl.
>"MOVE IT PRISONER."
>You were shoved with such force that you nearly fell over, but no surprise there the guard escorting you was only up to your kneecaps
>As you entered the main gate and went passed the yard, instead of being greeted by insane inmates you were meeted with marshmallow faces squeezed up against a mesh fence so hard it looked like they were gonna simply faze through it.
God this place is weird.
>You entered the main reception area and were greeted by several armed ponies
Aw they think you're a threat how cute
>As you attempt to stifle a giggle at how serious these ponies take your 'crimes' a very serious looking mare steps forward from the line of guards, she had brown eyes, a white mane and blue streaked mane with yellow tips, and a white coat covered by a business suit, and she did not seem to appreciate the fact you found the whole situation funny
>"Are you having a fucking giggle prisoner?"
"No ma'am."You say straightening up and again attempting to stop yourself from laughing
>"You better not be, cause if you think you can mock us you'll soon find out you're very mistaken. You are in the highest security prison in the land, the worst of the worst scum are here and we're throwing you in with them, how long 'til you break I wonder?" Gaining the smuggest smirk you've ever seen
God that's cute you'd hug her if you weren't chained up
>Instead you decide to be serious for a minute and act cool
"Just show me to my cell already, I'm tired."
>"Hmph you're a big guy." she off-handedly ummm off-hoofedly? comments
"For you maybe." God if this keeps up you're gonna burst
>"Maybe you'll feel more at home in the 'Iron Pit' with the minotaurs."
That actually made you clench up, you don't wanna know what it's like to be OP
>As you're led through countless doors you have to go through a fe examinations, thank god ponies haven't come up with cavity searches, after going through physical and medical questions and test you're finally led to the 'Iron Pit' you're pretty sure you're heart exploded, twice, when you entered the place that would most likely be your tomb you were greeted with a row of rattling cells and shouts of "FRESH MEAT" from the inmates, yeah this is more what you expected from prison
>"Oh by the way you're just in time for there free period." Twee whispered
Oh right her name is Twee by the way, she's also the warden
"WAIT WHAT?!" you replied
>"Your cell is at the very end, of the second level, on the left row. Hope you're faster than a charging bull~"
>Shit well you're fucked, there's no way, you'll get there in time, may as well take it with dignity, you decide to stand your ground and pray you survive
>As a siren blares a booming THUNK can be heard as every cell opens, at first there's silence as it prisoner steps out, and stares at you, all they do is stare, then they charge you screaming at the top of their lungs, you were tempted to play dead, but you're done being frightened if you die, you die with dignity, you close your eyes.
Am....am I dead? you think to yourself
>It about ten seconds before you open an eye, thank god you took a shit before you got hear because the sight in front of you would've made you're new prison suit brown, you were completely surrounded by minoutaurs, of all shapes and sizes, some your height, some smaller, some taller, they were all various colours, black, white, grey, couple blues and browns but they weren't doing anything, then one of the bigger, black coated ones standing next to you spoke up
>"So what are you in for fresh meat?"
>You were drawing a blank the fact you weren't dead kind of put you in shock, eventually you were able to make a coherent thought and remembered what the judge said
"Nothing serious, just a couple counts of bug murder and property damage."
>At that you caught a lot of the minotaurs finching and looking at you like you were the Equestrian Hitler, even though he didn't do anything wrong.
"Oh yeah and non-consensual hugging as well"
>At that every prisoner took several steps away from you
Geez this place really is weird
>"What pit in tartarus did you crawl out of?" one of the smaller minotaurs asked
"Well what are you all in for?"
>"'I'm in here for a couple months for jaywalking "one of them said
>"I'm in here for 4 years for not helping an elderly person across the street" another one said
Shit if this is what counts as criminal what would they think of some of the things that are considered criminal on earth?
>Your thoughts were cut off when the black minotaur from earlier spoke up again
>"Listen man we don't want no trouble."
"Yeah fine, look I'm tired just lemme get to my cell."
>As you begin walking towards your cell the minotaurs move out of your way to give you a clear path to your cell
Maybe prison life won't be so bad after all
>You can't think any further on this as sleep takes you as you crash onto your hard, uncomfortable bed
That's all I've got so far, I'm not sure if there's enough green as is or if you guys would like me to continue, but I just wanted to add a bit of mine that I had in mind
Alright, but only cause you asked so nicely
>Day 1 of pone prison life
>You are woken by the deafening blare of the alarm and the THUNK of the prison doors opening
>You begin staggering towards your doorway and as you exit you come once again face to face with Twee and a bunch of armed ponies
"What did I do this time ma'am?"
>"Shut it 404 and follow me."
Well that was blunt and what the fuck does she mean by 404?
>You half-heartedly follow her, well follow isn't really good enough, stumbled after in her general direction would be more accurate you were never a morning person, after walking through multiple doors you were led directly into what you presume to be Twee's office
>"Please sit down 404, we have much to discuss."
"Unless the next words out of your hole are 'We're sorry for being such fucking faggots and locking you up for pointless bullshit' I don't want to hear it."
>Taken aback by your sudden bluntness, Twee immediately recomposes herself
>"Well I'm sorry to inform you that we will not be releasing you anytime soon 404, but I do insist you sit down, we need to discuss your schedule, privileges, and so on and so forth."
"Fuck it, fine whatever. Oh you may wanna check those privileges of yours so I fully understand them."
>"Don't worry 404 I assure you everything is in order now your sche-"
"Excuse me ma'am" you say cutting Twee off mid sentence "But I have a question. WHY THE FUCK DO YOU KEEP CALLING ME 404!?"
>"Isn't it obvious that's your numb-"
"I AM NOT A NUMBER!!"
brace yourselves for high impact spaghetti
"HERE I AM BROUGHT INTO AN ALIEN WORLD I AM UNFAMILIAR WITH, GIVING YOU ENOUGH RESPECT TO CALL YOU MA'AM INSTEAD OF BTCH WHICH WOULD BE MORE ACCURATE TO YOUR PERSONALITY YET HERE YOU ARE TREATING ME LIKE I'M JUST A WORTHLESS NUMBER, I MAY BE AN ALIEN BUT I HAVE FEELINGS GODDAMN IT"
>Through your whole rant Twee started shifting further and further under her desk only showing her eyes and above, and boy did she look 100% scared shitless. After your rant you begin to calm down and reseat yourself.
"I am sorry ma'am, all I ask is to be given basic respect."
>Recomposing herself and straightening her suit she takes up a look of sad contemplation
>"No no it is quite alright 40- Anonymous. You having such a record in such short time and being an alien I thought it best if I try to assert myself, but perhaps a different approach would be better suited to you."
"That's quite alright ma'am, and if I may ask, could we drop the formalities it's kinda bugging me, can I just call you by your name."
>"I think that is an acceptable request anonymous."
"Thank you Twee, and if we are dropping formalities simply call me anon."
>"Is that what your friends called you back home?"
"No they called me faggot."
>The face Twee made at that nearly gave you a heart-attack, god why does hugging have to be illegal
"But please feel free to call me anon, after all this is a new place."
>"Right now onto the prison schedule, role-call is at dawn so 7:00, followed by breakfast until 7:30 then it is free-period til 9:00, you will then do your job until 12:00, followed by lunch 'til 1:00 in the afternoon, followed by a second free period til 3:00, then your second job 'til 5:00 then you will be brought back to your block until 7:00 when you will have dinner 'til 8:00 then lights out."
Well shit that's a lot to take in, you quickly bring yourself to your senses as she starts to speak again
>"As for your privileges being highest security, you are very limited, you will have a constant escort of two guards wherever you go, you will only be able to interact with other high level security prisoners during anytime outside your cell block, inside you are free to interact with those inmates, oh and all desert privileges are also revoked from meal time, if you show you are not a danger eventually you will be allowed to make a request for an ease up on your restrictions."
1) Sorry for the short post, stupid fucking word limit strikes again
2)Sorry if it seems overly detailed, if I'm gonna continue I wanted to flesh out the world a little so I can make content quicker if you guys want me to continue
This anon speaking
I love you and your world
You even put Minotaurs!
Take it all the places anon....all of them <3
Me again :^)
>You open your eyes, expecting to see your lovely bed and room, back in your lovely home, in your lovely world.
>Instead, you're faced with two white mares standing over you, blushing furiously.
>This is obviously a REALLY long dream.
>One of the mares is Aryanne.
>The other is... someone.
>She's got pink hair wrapped in a bun, and is wearing a nurse's cap.
>She also has blue eyes.
>You feel a bit of saliva by your mouth.
"Oh man, I didn't drool, did I? Sorry."
>You wipe it away while the nurse pony softly laughs and rubs the back of her neck.
>"Ha ha... yeah, drool..."
>You turn to Aryanne, and see the nurse quickly wipe her muzzle with a hoof in your peripherals.
"Okay, so where am I?"
>The other pony straightens herself and clears her throat.
>"You are currently in my office! The Nurse's office! I'm Nurse Redheart!"
>She smiles, still never losing her blush.
>You extend a hand.
"I'm Anonymous, but you can just call me Anon."
>She shakes a little as she takes your hand, losing what little composure she had.
>Aryanne steps forward and pouts.
>"What about me? Can I call you Anon?"
>You look down at yourself and see a napkin placed over your Anonhood.
>You quickly pull them back up, feeling a bit hot in the cheeks yourself.
"Well, thanks for putting a napkin over me, at least."
>"Yeah... w-we couldn't pull them up without... uh..."
>You stand up and brush yourself off.
>"Sooo, all the inmates were ALSO sorry for making you pass out back there, and, you know... unclothing you... so they made you a card!"
>You look around yourself.
>You don't see anything beside the mat you were lying on.
>"-Oh, we couldn't fit it through the door. It's outside."
>You turn towards the door, and from the window, see something huge and pink.
>How big is that thing?!
>You stand up and once again tower over almost everything.
>Nurse Redheart just stares.
>"O-oh my. Y-you ARE big..."
"Yeah, I've been getting that a lot lately."
>Your eyes fall on the door.
"Sooo, does that mean I can go, now?"
>"Oh! Yes, by all means, Mr. Anonymous!"
"Just Anon's fine, Nurse."
>She grows a bit red again.
>Seriously, why in gods name is it so easy to make these ponies blush?
>And WHY is it so noticeable?
>"Please, just call me Redheart. Or Red. Or just Heart. Or whatever..."
>She twirls her hair with a hoof.
"Sure thing, Heart."
>"Does this mean we're friends?"
>You smile back and nod.
>She stands on her hind hooves and holds her front ones out.
>"S-so, can I get a friendly hello?"
>She's having a real hard time balancing herself.
>You swoop in and grab her, partly because of how cute she is, and also because of how close she looks to falling on her face.
>She wraps around you like an octopus and sighs.
>You shrug the initial shock off and hug her.
>"If only I'd found you a lot sooner..."
>You softly laugh.
>She's squeezing the shit out of you.
>It's like she's never been hugged before.
>Aryanne's just watching you both with an amused smile.
>You brush Redheart's mane.
>She coos and buries her head into your chest.
>Well shit, good thing she's a nurse.
>Because your heart feels ready to give out again.
>And you're healthy as shit.
>You exercised everyday, grew your own food, and portioned the shit out of it.
>Yet you just finished having a heart attack from pure cuteness alone.
>And hell, the longer you stay 'alive' here, the longer you get to stay in this dream!
>...You wonder how long it'll last, anyways...
>It's like you're in some sort of simulation.
>Everything in this has just been too damn real-feeling.
>You even keep forgetting that it IS a dream.
>But hey, it IS better to just go with the flow, right?
>Damn right it is.
>Redheart finally stops hugging and looks at you.
>She's got tears in her eyes.
>Did you accidentally crush her or something?
>"Y-you don't understand how much this means to me..."
>You hug the hell out of her for a few more seconds and finally find a cut-off point.
>You set her down, and she wipes her eyes.
>"I-I'll see you around... Anon..."
>You softly wave and leave the office with Aryanne.
>You looked back while you were walking and saw her doing the same.
>She blushed, and you both turned away in embarrassment.
>You turn back and are faced with the huge fucking heart-shaped 'card' that the ponies here made for you.
>It's twice your goddamn size length-wise, and four times in terms of width.
>Or in other words, it's the biggest goddamn card you've ever seen in your entire twenty five fucking years of living.
>You pause and glance at Aryanne.
>She's already glaring your face off.
"-iiiizle, that's a huge fu-freaking card."
>She nods and smiles.
"How long was I out, anyways?"
>"Well, only a few minutes, actually."
"A FEW MINUTES?!"
>She nods again.
>You turn back to the card.
>It's got frilly lacing on its edge, signatures from everyone, and, "WE'RE SORRY, ANON," in huge ass fancy lettering.
>Sure, it's really simple, but it doesn't look like it only took a few minutes to make.
"Wow. Did they use magic, or what?"
>"Probably. There's quite a number of unicorns here."
>Aryanne just furrows a brow.
"You... there's actually MAGIC here?"
>"That's, um, how it's always been. Forever."
>"You don't use magic?"
"Magic is just made up stuff."
>She cocks her head.
>"I assure you, it's very much real. Have you been living under a rock?"
"No, I've been living in a medium sized home, actually. And if I'm being honest, I've never seen talking ponies before today, either."
>She puts a hoof to her chin.
>"...Wow... so when I got word of an alien being put here, they weren't kidding, where they?"
>"You've definitely got to tell me more about where you're from, some time. Preferably over dinner."
>Then you realized she pretty much just asked you out.
>She smiles and blushes a bit.
>...Did you ever explain how easy it is to see their blushing?
>Especially because Aryanne is WHITE.
>"Looking forward to it, then."
>You smile back.
>"But anyways, back onto business. We have a tour to finish!... Friend."
>You turn to her with a confused look and see her holding her hooves out.
>Oh, right, friends carry each other.
>You gotta begin writing down these things 'your species does' somewhere very soon.
>You pick her up and carry her fireman style, instead of like a cat.
>You know, like how NORMAL PEOPLE carry cats.
>Left arm over their lower half, and right arm under their upper half.
>Aryanne blushes and squeaks.
"So where to, then?"
>"Well, you've seen the nurse's office, so all we really have left are the rooms and the playground! So, what do you want to see, first?"
"Well, the playground sounds pretty nice."
>"Okay! Just head straight down this hallway!"
>You start walking forward.
>The hallways here are all filled with 'works' of the inmates here: hoofprint drawings, coloring pages, poems.
>It's like some kind of elementary school.
>You pass by a bunch of group pictures of previous years.
>The ponies are ALL different each year.
>Minus the staff, of course.
>Makes you wonder how short the sentences are here.
>Then you finally come across the bright yellow double doors to the 'playground'.
>You open them and pause.
>Of course, EVERY SINGLE pony is outside, playing.
>They all pause.
>The only one that moves is the one going down on the slide.
>She's looking at you as she swirls downwards.
>You slowly wave.
>Your hold Aryanne with your other arm and hold your pants up with your hand.
>Now that you knew there was magic here, you were pretty damn sure one of these niggers pulled your slacks down.
>You kind of wanted to RKO or suplex the one that pulled them down, but you knew, dream or not, hurting one of these ponies would definitely not sit well with you later on.
>Still, it kinda pissed you off.
>But hey, it IS much better to have loads of mares impressed by your size, instead of sporting some four inches of fury and being laughed at.
>All of the ponies start blushing furiously.
>You meekly wave.
>One mare, dark blue with a white mane, flies over to you and stares at the ground.
>"I, uh, I know I speak for everypony here, w-when I say that I'm sorry for what happened earlier... Can... can you forgive us?"
>She looks up at you with a pouty face.
>...Seriously, these fucking pouty faces are your goddamn Kryptonite.
>You, still carrying Aryanne in your left arm, take the pony and hug her with your other.
"Didn't even need to ask, honestly."
>God, you need to start counting how many times you've been able to make a mare blush.
>All the other ponies erupt into a big cheer and crowd around you.
>"I'm so glad you forgive us, Anon!"
>"Ooh, ooh, did you get the card?"
>"Oh, yeah! Did you like it, Anon?"
>"What did you think of it?"
>They all await your reaction.
>They all lean in.
"It's the nicest thing I've ever been given."
>They all cheer again.
>It feels nice, being in the center of everything-
>All the mares stop and make way for a stallion to walk up to you.
>He's only a few inches taller than the mares.
>He's got an orange coat and a black mane.
>Got the whole "special snowflake" vibe going on.
>Then again, though, YOU were fucking overloading with it.
>He straightens himself out and puffs out his chest, kind of like what a bird would do to attract a mate.
>He scrunches while he does so, completely obliterating every bit of intimidation he was going for.
>He pokes you with a hoof.
>"You think you can just waltz in here and take the place for yourself?!"
Bubbles doesn't seem to think so. And he's an expert in kitties.
Right arm under, left arm over. Simple science!
>Aryanne, instead of taking the position of the tough and powerful warden, just looks up at you in awe, awaiting your response as the other mares do.
>You just cock an eyebrow at the guy.
"Well, if you're getting all butthurt about it, then it sounds like I already did."
>All the mares 'ooo' in response.
>Again, even Aryanne.
>Who is still in your arms.
>The guy glares at you.
>"You know, you've got a LOT of nerve talking to ME like that!"
>You just stare down at him and furrow your brow higher.
>He looks confused at your response for a second, then huffs.
>"You, and ME, hoof-wrestling contest! Then we'll see who the REAL stallion of this prison is!!"
>The mares gasp.
>You keep your unamused look.
>"-HA! I knew that- wait, what? Did you just say yes?"
"Yeah, I did. What, nobody's said yes, before?"
>One of the mares pipe up.
>"They're usually too scared to..."
>"Yes, that's right! And it's finally about time I can PROVE my toughness!"
>So this guy's literally only gone off of intimidation to rule over the place.
>All bark and no bite, this one.
>This should be fun.
>He walks over to a table with a board game on it and 'cooly' knocks it over.
>"Hey, jerk! We were in the middle of that game!"
>He shrugs off the comment and remains silent, obviously trying not to seem like any bigger of a dick than he already is.
>He sets his hoof in an arm wrestling stance, and you lazily walk over.
>You're not nervous in the slightest.
>Not only do you ACTUALLY lift, but you're also two feet taller than this guy, and this is still YOUR dream-thing going on.
>You own this place.
>You set your right arm up and stop Aryanne as she tries hopping out of your hold.
"Please, Ary. I've got this. Just get comfy."
>She smiles and buries herself back into your chest.
>The mares all gather around.
"So, best two out of three, or what?"
>Wanna at least be a BIT fair.
>"Pft, please. One will be fine."
"Alrighty then. You asked for it."
>One mare steps forward and counts off.
>"Three, two, one, GO!"
>The stallion goes full throttle and pushes down with all his might.
>He's grunting and snorting like a wild bull.
>...And your arm isn't moving.
>You can see some veins popping out in his head.
>You try to mask your smile and move your arm towards your own side of the table.
>It's about less than an inch from touching it.
>All the mares gasp.
>The stallion gives you a cocky grin.
>"Shoulda thought about it before opening your big, fat mou-"
>You move your arm and slam it the other way mid-sentence.
>All the mares cheer.
"You were saying?"
>"H-hey! You said best two out of three!!"
>You put your arm down again.
>He takes a few quick breaths before doing the same.
"Oh, NOOOOO, I hope I can win this one! I'm so beat from the last round!"
>The ponies don't hear a single drip of the gallons of sarcasm spilling from your mouth.
>The stallion grins again.
>"-Two, one, GO!"
>You start moving his arm from side to side.
"Oh, WOAH, WOAH, which way's it gonna go, huh? Ooooh noooo!"
>The mares are all freaking out.
>They're all focused on your arm.
>You can see all of their eyes following it.
>Some are even moving their whole bodies back and forth as they watch.
>Then you yawn and slam his hoof with your eyes closed.
>The mares cheer again.
>You can't help but smile like a douchebag as you watch the guy's expression quickly falling.
>You stand up and look at Aryanne.
"Told ya I'd got it."
>You turn and start walking away with your new crew of mares.
>Then you feel a sharp pain in your head.
>You snap back.
>He threw the fucking table at you.
>Sure, it was like a kiddy table, but it was the thought of it that counted.
>"I'M NOT DONE WITH YOU, PUNK!!"
>Your smile fades.
>You gently set Aryanne down.
>You crack your knuckles.
"NOW, this is personal."
I like this idea.
>Anon is put in paper pony prison
>It is considered the most secure prison in the world, as any attempt to get through the walls would likely give papercuts
>There has never been a successful escape attempt
>It's not actually a dream, it's woozyness from malnutrition
>Ponies use hay so ubiquitiously that Anon has been dangerously undernourished
>This is also why he has been passing out
Punk pony needs a punting
>The stallion lowers his head and digs at the ground like a bull.
>You pop your neck and glare.
>There's a minute of pure silence.
>Then the guy dashes off towards you.
>You do the same.
>There's also only a few feet between you and him, so it's not really that dramatic.
>He charges straight for you, and you quickly sidestep at the last moment.
>You quickly spin around and wrap your arms around his neck.
>You leap forward into the air, holding his head down.
>For a split second, you're sure that Randy Orton is staring down at you from somewhere, smiling.
>He would be proud.
"RKO OUTTA NOWHERE!!"
>The stallion's face smashes into the sand as you jump up and throw your hands in the air.
>The mares all cheer once again.
>You quickly turn back and see the stallion with a face full of dirt.
>There's a lot in his mouth.
>He cries and flees behind a slide.
>Then you see the other two stallions that weren't part of the group.
>They're casually building sand castles.
>One sees you looking at him and waves with a big smile, then continues gathering sand with his blue toy shovel.
>The mares all flock to your sides and crowd around you like you're some sort of god.
>Then you hear a muffled cry.
>"TH-THIS ISN'T OVER, LOSER!!"
"I'm counting on it!"
>The crying resumes, and you turn your attention back to your adoring crowd.
>Aryanne hops into your arms.
>"As the warden, I should REALLY be punishing you for that... but I think you just helped better the prison for us."
>There's another cheer.
>"Yeah, go Anon!"
>"A-non, A-non, A-non!"
>They all start chanting your name.
>God, prison is great.
Alrighty, I think I'm done for today. Expect more shitty writing tomorrow.
Hoo, man, I shoulda slept like, two hours ago. Wonder how many patients will suffer for this?
great work my man! looking forward for more
>Well, this new patient is certainly bigger than you expected.
>Taller, mostly, towering over even the tallest minotaur you've met by a head.
>Good thing your exam seat for minotaurs is built tough as they are.
"Come in, this way," you say, motioning for him to follow you inside.
>Entering your office, you show them to their seat, while you grab the initial paperwork.
"To start, here's a short questionnaire, for some of the things you might know but we don't," you say, passing them a clipboard and safety quill.
>It takes them a moment to figure out the quill, but once they do, they start ticking boxes.
>The first one you notice is the Male/Female/Other box, ticked male.
>That's another note you'll have to prepare.
>And also an awkward question to ask...
>After all, the ponies have to know what he can breed with.
>It's not your choice, it's standard medical practice.
>Finishing the sheet, he looks over it one last time before passing it back to you.
>While you transfer answers, you start some basic doctor talk.
"So, how have you been feeling lately? Any recent illnesses or injuries?"
>"Hmn... none that I can remember."
"Alright, any family sickness problems that you may have or develop?"
>"Besides a big gut if I'm not careful, I'm fairly safe."
"Any prior injuries that will affect your life here?"
>Several more questions and answers, and you prepare for the more physical side of things.
"Now, uh, I'm going to need to do a few tests, just normal things."
>"Oh?" he asks, looking over at you.
"Just blood and uh... semen samples."
"No, just those two for now. Are you sure you're fine with it though?"
>"It's genetic samples, isn't it? Why would there be a problem?"
"Well, most of our inmates are afraid of needles, and being asked by a stranger for important fluids can be a bit embarrassing."
>"Pass me the container for the semen, and point me to a private room. I'll try to be quick," he says.
>Passing him a seal-able jar and pointing him to the, erm, release room, you take to your paperwork to fill the minute he will be gone.
>Your clock's ticking and the scratching of quill on paper are all the sounds you hear, waiting for Anon to return.
>Seconds tick by into minutes, and you start to get worried.
>Maybe none of the material in there is attractive to him...
>Almost five minutes pass, and you debate going in to make sure he's okay, when the doorknob turns.
>"Man, there's no gratification when you try to go quick, you know," he says, setting a sealed container of seed on your desk.
"Yes, well, for the blood, where do your kind normally have it drawn from?"
>With some directions and assistance from him, you extract the needed blood, and bandage the hole.
"And last but not least, a treat for handling yourself so well," you say, holding out a sucker for him.
>"Thanks, Doc. If there's anything we missed, feel free to call me up."
>Waving goodbye, you see him off from your room.
>Five minutes... your clock must be on the fritz...
Is good to see the thread active!
Just remember to leave some pastebins for the OP in the next thread guys!
I'm still busy with homework, so no update yet.
Here, have a trap warden as a sorry for no greentext from my part.
Alright let's continue
>After your briefing with Twee you're escorted by your two guards to the cafeteria for breakfast.
>As you approach the cafeteria you can hear a lot of talking but as you open the double doors everything goes quiet and all eyes are on you.
Yeah yeah get a good look at the alien you pastel coloured weirdos
>You head over to the food, and thank god that they have meat here, stacking your tray with a good amount of food your guards escort you to to a section of the cafeteria a good few 100 metres away from the other inmates.
Time to make some new friends.
>As you approach the table you take note of each high security prisoner, there's a grey coated diamond dog the size of a minotaur with purple eyes and a scar going down the entire right side of his face, there's also a stallion pegasus with a grey coat, black mane and blue eyes, and the one that grabs your attention the most is a changeling queen, whoever it is it certainly isn't best bug, this one has yellow eyes instead of green and is a bit smaller from what you can tell.
>As you finish taking note of them, you realize they're all doing the same to you, you try to stay calm amongst what are apparently the worst criminals in the land who aren't in tartarus and slowly take your seat.
>None of them has said a word so you decide to simply try to ignore them and eat your food, you haven't had anything to eat since you got here after all
>You are quickly brought up from your food by the sudden outburst from the diamond dog
>All he does for a few seconds is glare at you, and you're more than happy to return it
>"You don't look all that tough to me, freak."
"Oh yeah and what are you in for mutt?"
>At 'mutt' he immediately stands up and tries to make himself look big and scary, it really isn't working
>"You wanna know what I'm in for? I've dug holes in 23 different fields which clearly have signs saying 'Do not step on the grass'"
>During this he takes up a look of confidence, which quickly stops the second he see's you're not phazed.
"Well if we're sharing stories what about you two?"
>The pegasus looks up at you, whilst the changeling queen simply continues her meal.
Good at least you won't have to deal with her shit.
>"I'm in here for placing a rain-cloud over Celestia's head and ruining her hair."
"Wait who is Celestia?"
>At that everyone of them even the changeling queen and the guards look at you like an idiot.
>"You don't know Celestia?"
"No I don't think so."
>"Really big pony, white coat, weird blue, pink and green hair, ruler of the land?"
"No I got here, committed my 'crimes' got arrested by guards ponies, got judged then they hauled my ass over here."
>"Huh weird well you're an alien so expect a visit from her."
Okay so be on the lookout for a pony weirder than the other ponies here, at least you're making conversation
>"What are you in for."
>You jump at the changeling queen suddenly talking after being quiet for so long
"Uum couple thousand bug murders, destroying the homes of bugs and non-consensually hugging ponies"
>The changeling actually raises her head completely from her tray and glares at you, man if glares could kill you'd be dead 12 times over
>"What kind of bugs?"
>You're somewhat scared to answer since every word was coated in frothing rage and from behind gritted fang-things
"Ummm just like spiders and ants"
>At that her expression calms slightly and you can see her physically relax
phew dodged a shivs there, wait would ponies even have a concept of shivs?
>Your concentration is again broken as the diamond dog speaks up again
>"I guess I misjudged you, you might not be a total pansy after all."
..........just take it as a compliment he's not worth it
"But hey since you decided to drag your muzzle out of your food, what are you in for?"
>The changeling queen once again looks up at, you this time with a cold steely gaze
>"I did what most changelings do, invaded a town with my hive and stole it of all it's love, well we would've if the entirety of Equestria wasn't on watch for changelings after Chrysalis messed up in Canterlot."
Hmmph again really weak ideas of crimes in Equestria, except for her.
>Now the pegasus starts to talk to you again "Well we may as well know who you are, what's your name?"
"Just call me anon"
>"Alright then, I'm Sky High, that's Red Rover, and that is Lazuli"
>Pointing at himself, the diamond dog and the changeling respectively
>Alright it'll probably be good to keep on the good side of these guys you are gonna be spending all your remaining meal times, and free periods with them
>After finishing your breakfast, a siren blares most likely indicating-
>"Free period prisoners get up and move it."
>You really do not care for the tones of these guards.
>You, Red, Sky, and Lazuli were all escorted separately by two armed guards through the prison until you reached the yard, you were given a surprising amount of room considering how few high security prisoners there were.
>The guards stationed themselves around the yard keeping a constant watch on their assigned prisoner who were in no mood to stick around each other
>Red Rover went over to the work-out area
No surprise that the meat head would go there
>Sky High went over to the athletics course, and Lazuli simply went into a random space in the yard and- meditated? you couldn't fucking tell
>You simply decided to hang around by the fencing you had no intention to do any of those things.
>As you began to rest your head against the fencing you were quickly snapped back to reality at the rattling of the fence, looking up it was none other than that black minotaur from the previous day
"What the heck do you want, last time I checked you prefered to be out of arm's reach of me."
>"Yeah I was but I got to thinking when you were talking about your crimes you acted like they were nothing so either you're a complete lunatic capable of a lot worse or actually you didn't know those were real crimes, so I decided to take a gamble."
"Well you somewhat got lucky and unlucky in that gamble, cause both of those things are true."
>Your neck was beginning to hurt so you decided to get to eye-level with the minotaur.
Weird how these guards don't seem to mind, oh well
>"So what do you mean by both my assumptions were correct."
"Buddy the worst of my kind's crime would make you lose your lunch, but I won't bother going into detail."
>"Alright, names Nails by the ways"
Jeez this lot have ridiculous names
"Alright I'm Anon."
>"Nice to meet the real you, so how you been holding up?"
"Pretty fine actually, as you can tell the other prisoners are too disinterested to bother with me and Twee doesn't seem to hate my guts anymore."
>"Oh wow I don't think anyone in here has actually gotten her real name."
"Have you tried asking?"
>"Uuummm well, no."
"Exactly. So you've been here longer than me, you know anything on the others over there?"
>"Hmmm well the bug is into anything nature, the dog likes gems as his kind always does, and I got nothing on bird brain."
>With that Nails rejoins a group of minotaurs whilst you decide you may as well have a look around the whole yard not like there is anything to actually look at.
>Surprisingly you were wrong, each side of the yard is connected to another yard, at the back is where the prison is, to the left is where nails and the rest of your cell block is, to the right are the griffons, and covering the front of each yard is the equine yard, filled with every pony or zebra that gets thrown in here.
>As you begin to walk near to the equine yard to see if there is anything in there, you are spotted by one of the inmates and immediately the fencing is swarmed with marshmallow faces like when you first arrived, apparently they didn't get a good enough view when you first got here or during meal time.
>Not only do they want to take a better look at you but they apparently want to know every detail about you.
>"Wow, what are you exactly?"
>"How tall are you?"
>"Are all of your kind that big?"
>"Are there anymore of you?"
>"Do you know how you got here?"
>"Do you like it here?"
>"What's your name?"
>Luckily these questions don't require a lot of explanation, you try to answer the ones that you can actually catch in the endless bombardment of questions.
>Thankfully you're saved from these insane ponies by the deafening blare of the alarm, time to see what your job is
>You and the other prisoners are escorted towards where you'll be doing your jobs, however as the others are lead one way, you are lead into a smaller corridor as you once again meet Twee
Jeez I know I'm an alien but must she keep checking on me
>Letting out an annoyed huff you can clearly tell she regrets giving you permission to speak casually to her
>"Hello once again Anon, I know you are supposed to be working but I thought you ought to be informed of the different jobs. Now you and the other prisoners are to be given jobs that help to make the other inmates lives easier, do their laundry, clean their rooms, their latrines, that sort of thing. But as I mentioned earlier with being allowed to interact with the other inmates if you show promise of reform you will be allowed to work with them, these jobs include a lot of labour for example textile work to help repair any prison uniforms, as well as mining and lumber harvesting to name a few. Those last two do allow prisoners outside the walls, I say this in confidence that it shall encourage you to rethink how you act here."
>At that you are led back in the direction of the others and the what you assume to be the other cells, you enter what is definitely a different cell block, you guess the griffons since they're are too big to be for ponies but definitely not your cell block, you are pulled up to a cell and are given cleaning tools and you begrudgingly set to work.
>As you and the others move cell to cell, you begin to wish to have any form of conversation come up.
>As if a genie was there to grant your wish you're startled by Sky's sudden talking "Uhh god don't these bird-brains know how to clean themselves"
>Replying almost immediately like he was wishing for some form of conversation to Red speaks up as well "Look who's talking feather-head don't pegasi wipe themselves on clouds or something"
>All Sky replies with is an infuriated grunt, deciding to have some fun you tune in
"Well that's got to be better than what you lot do Red I would've thought diamond dogs would clean themselves by wiping their asses on the dirt."
>All you get is an annoyed grunt from Red and what you swear is the quietest giggle ever from Lazuli
>Apparently using his super-hearing Red is further infuriated by Lazuli
>"Something funny gnat?"
>"Oh I was just amused at how easily you can be muzzled, mutt."
>"Oh yeah and how do you changelings clean yourselves, do you even clean yourselves at all or do you use your transforming magic to make it look like the rest of your flank?"
>At that you and Sky find yourselves both trying extremely hard to contain your laughter at those two going at it, which Lazuli does not appreciate
>"Oy what are you laughing at monkey? Don't you lot clean your selves with tree leaves."
>At that Sky can't hold it in anymore and openly laughs at your expense as does Red, and you can't help but find yourself laughing at the comment as well
>As the laughter subsides you swear you see the faintest smirk on cross Lazuli's face
>You all return to your work but comments at each other's expense are a lot more frequent.
>Finally lunch time, scrubbing the inside of a good couple dozen cells makes you hungry, you get your food and join the others at your designated table, nothing interesting happens but for some reason the others seem to enjoy talking to each other so long as they get to insult each other every 10 seconds.
Haaaa sounds like shitposting
>It somewhat saddens you that you won't be able to see all those faggots on 4chan again but you are quickly pulled out of your stupor and join in on insulting the others.
>Your second free period comes around and you decide to see if can chat with Nails again.
>You go to the same place in the fence as last time and there's Nails just a few metres away.
>Quickly spotting you he begins to head over
>"Hey man so how was your first day with those lunatics?"
"Meh it could've been a lot worse to be honest, and I seem to be getting along well enough as it is."
>"That's good to hear."
>You two discuss about stuff in the prison and what you used to do before you ended up here, Nails was here for spilling salt, and breaking a mirror on purpose, apparently good and bad luck is like a cult here.
>After Nails leaves judging by the sun you guess there is still sometime left, looking around you see again a massive clump of marshmallow faces squished against the fence.
Bah got nothing better to do
>You head over to the ponies and are immediately bombarded by questions
>"Do you have ponies in your world?"
>"Do they fly?"
>"Do they have magic?"
>"Do you have zebras in your world?"
>"You eat meat, do you eat ponies?"
>You waste the rest of your free period answering the endless stream of questions 'til the bell blares
>You are lead through the prison not being able to wait to crash on your bed 'til your second job
>Instead you are led to- Twee's office?
>What is wrong with this mare doesn't she have messenger ponies to talk to you?
>You seat yourself in front of her ready for another round of her bullshit
>"Hello again anon, I know this may seem odd speaking to me so often but don't worry it won't be a regular thing, it's simply the fact that I have noticed you've been able to befriend one of the minotaurs in your cell block as well as a lot of the ponies here. You see this is important because we had initially thought of moving you to the block where the other high security level inmates are being held, but I have decided to possibly reconsider and would be willing to let you stay with the minotaurs if you wanted to."
Well anons do we wanna stick with the minotaurs or the high level inmates?
"See, the two of them were friends, once. Billy even went to Garret's wedding. But then Billy fell in with a horse thief-"
>[GASPING HORSE NOISES]
"Oh, sorry, I should probably say, ponies aren't intelligent in my world. We mostly use them as labor."
>[ANGRY HORSE NOISES]
"Moving right along. A couple years later, he made his way to Lincoln County, New Mexico, where he got mixed up in the Lincoln County War-"
>[CONCERNED HORSE NOISES]
"Could you please stay quiet? I'm trying to tell you a goddamn story here, you worthless animals."
>[APOLOGETIC HORSE NOISES]
It's all good anon. I'm enjoying it so far. Not too sure which I'd prefer, but the higher inmates seem more promising than anyone else. Plus I'd like to see Twee's reaction to it.
>Aryanne and you walk out of the playground to finish the tour.
>You were finally going to see your room.
>Not even a day here, and you've pretty much gotten the whole prison eating out of your hands.
>You walk down the huge hallway in awe.
>This is LITERALLY like a hotel.
>A damn nice one, too.
>You come across your room number.
>It's room 100.
>The last and final room.
>You were about to ask why the hell you were so far away from the others, when you saw the room right beside yours.
>The warden's room.
>And you weren't so sure about regular prisons, but you didn't think that the warden had their own room to stay in.
>You just stare at the nameplate, then the enormous amount of empty rooms between you and the others.
>Aryanne looks away.
"Hey, if it was my choice, I'd of chosen the same room."
>You open your door and grin.
>This IS a fucking hotel!
>You set Aryanne down and flop down on your bed.
>It's half your size, but it's comfy as shit.
"This is heaven."
>"No, this is your room!"
>You slightly laugh, then get up and continue surveying your room.
>Coffee machine, dressers, closets, bathroom, stocked fridge-
>Oh fuck, you would NOT mind swapping out your current room for this!
>And, not to release the inner Jew in you or anything, but it's all FREE!
>"Is the room to your liking?"
>You hop on your bed once again with a huge grin.
>Your legs smash into the bed frame and hang over the whole thing.
>Aryanne runs over to your side.
>"Celestia, are you alright?!"
"Celestia? I'm Anon, remember?"
>The tan front desk pony you first saw comes into the room.
>"Ms. Aryanne! Princess Celestia is here and requesting to see Anon!"
"Wow, that's retardedly accurate timing."
>Aryanne narrows her eyes.
>"I don't recognize that word. Is that a curse?"
"Uh... no! It's another way that my species' says 'very', or 'really'."
>She just slowly nods.
>"Well then, we better move. Keeping Celestia waiting is NOT a good idea."
"Aye aye, Ary!"
>You hold your hand in a salute and begin marching alongside her.
"So then, who the heck is Celestia?"
>The desk pony looks at you like you just ate a box of crayons in front of her.
>"She's the ruler of the nation! One of royalty! She raises the SUN everyday!"
"...Should I praise her?"
>You suddenly see her and Aryanne stiffen and stare straight forward.
>You turn to face ahead and see a big white pony with some crazy flowing mane, being followed by two white dudes in some armor.
>...Is it just you, or are all the higher-up ponies white?
>This is slowly getting really racist.
>You watch them walking down the hallway.
>The two kinda just stopped walking, so you were stuck just standing there.
>...They have a lot of distance to cover.
>You quietly rub your hands together.
"...Should we meet them halfway, or-"
>You stare straight.
"I'm telling you, it'd probably be better to-"
>You groan and turn again.
>The three are somehow maintaining a constantly straight face as they walk.
>You sigh and sit down on the floor.
>They've got about another thirty rooms to pass by.
>And for some retarded reason, the guy who built this prison didn't have rooms on both sides of the hallway.
>It's literally just a huge hallway of doors on one side.
>You hold your head in your hands and let out an obnoxiously loud sigh.
>You keep it up for a few minutes, just taking quick breaths every so often.
>Then you feel a nudge.
>You look up.
>'Celestia' and the two guys are already here, now.
>Them and the girls are just staring at you.
"Wow, five years later."
>Celestia offers a smile.
>A politician smile.
>It's a smile, but is horribly and very noticeably fake.
>"So, you must be Anonymous."
>You put on a shocked look and hold your hand on yourself.
>Aryanne and the desk pony glare at you.
>...Man, you gotta get her name at some point.
>'Desk pony' has no ring to it.
>Celestia scans you.
>"And you really ARE big."
>She completely ignores your brilliant comment and straightens herself a bit.
>...And she's still smaller than you.
>"Anyways, though, since I've recently become aware of your... special 'origin', I have come by to see if you are behaved well enough to mingle with pony society."
>Aryanne steps forward.
>"Your highness, Anon here has done nothing troublesome since he got here. In addition, the ponies here all think highly of Anon, myself included."
>Celestia looks at you.
>"Is this true?"
>You cock an eyebrow.
"Do I look like I know telepathy?"
>She scans over you again.
>"Hmm... I suppose not... Explain your methods."
>"How do you usually make friends?"
"...Well, first I start with a greeting, like a regular per-"
>"Greet me, then."
>You walk up to her and get backed the fuck up by the armored dudes.
>Celestia waves them off.
>You stand up and slowly shuffle to her.
>The guards tense up and watch your every move.
>You continue your slow movements and finally hug her.
>She stiffens, then relaxes.
>She slightly leans into you and almost stabs your goddamn face with her horn.
>You try to shrug off the near-death experience and brush her hair.
>It's soft and very flow-y.
>It's really thick and voluminous.
>She stifles a sigh.
>Then she puts her hooves over your shoulders and crushes you in a return-hug.
>"You ARE quite the hugger, aren't you?"
"It's how I say hello, m'lady."
>She giggles, not knowing how many manly-points you sacrificed saying that.
>You open your eyes and see one of the guards glaring his eyes out at you.
>It looks like he's... jealous?
>You stick your tongue out and lean into the hug further.
>You hear a soft huff.
>Then finally, you feel Celestia breaking away.
>You stand a bit back and smile.
>You fucked her hair up a bit.
"Oh man, hang on."
>You lick your hand and walk over to try and fix her hair, but she stops you.
>"Oh, it's quite alright, Anonymous.-"
"-Please, call me Anon."
>And it's actually a genuine one.
>"My pleasure, Anon."
"Pleasure's all mine, Celestia."
>She scans you for a third time.
>You're pretty sure you saw her bite her lip for a split second.
>"You know, Anonymous, I expected this encounter to transpire very differently. I'm... pleasantly surprised, to see it's not the case here."
"-You thought I was gonna be a jerk, didn't you?"
>She pauses, then simply nods.
>"But, if possible, I'd very much enjoy another encounter with you in the future. Preferably one more... private..."
>Her eyes quickly jump below your belt and back to you.
>You casually smile and wink.
>Thanks, home garden; this wouldn'tve been possible without you.
>"I'll be signing and sending an official document tomorrow stating that you'll be free to become a full-Equestrian citizen. For now, goodbye, Anon."
>Celestia and the guards start walking away.
>You turn back to Aryanne and the desk pony.
>You notice Aryanne has a saddened look on her face.
>It immediately vanishes once she notices you turned to her.
>"Wow, isn't that great? Not even the first day here, and you're already free!"
>"Yeesh, and that was really stressful! Almost thought I was just gonna pass out, there!"
>You smile at both of them.
>The look Aryanne had was probably just from something else.
>It's only been a few hours anyways, why would she be THAT sad about you leaving?
>You quickly shrug the idea off.
>Only been about thirty minutes.
>Your- or what WAS going to be your bed, was horribly uncomfortable after a while, due to its size.
>Aryanne had said she was gonna do some paperwork and stuff, so she quickly left you alone after the whole Celestia thing.
>You'd imagine loads of paperwork for the ruler of the nation walking into your place, so you simply shrugged it off and went into your room.
Now that Anon's not in jail, are you going to be crossposting the future chapters into AiE?
We still want you here too, an ex-con is fine too
It's cruel and unusual punishment to deny someone coffee.
>You are Stoic Warder, Royal Guard at Canterlot Palace
>You drew the short straw and have been assigned to the dungeons, which is now the most terrifying assignment around
>The dungeons are well maintained and furnished like the rest of the palace, of course.
>It's not the dungeons themselves thats the problem.
>It's the THING the Pricesses are keeping locked up down here.
>You've caught looks at what's under those robes and mask, and just thinking about what you saw makes you wince
>That sickly bare skin and joints that bend in all the wrong ways
>And the sounds it makes
>The less said about those the better
>You try to put it out of your mind and just get your shift over with
>Maybe you won't have nightmares tonight
>You are Anon.
>You don't really know where you are, just that there are lots of skittish but very colourful pony things here.
>The larger ones are a bit more friendly, and seem to try to communicate.
>You're making progress at that, but it's slow.
>At least they've given you a nice apartment in their basement to use while you're here.
>Be Twilight Bookle, Princess of Sparkles.
>You're in canterlot with Princess Momlestia and Luna to study an actual ALIEN!
>It's like a dream come true!
>Well, actually being with it is more like a nightmare, but it's a nightmare of SCIENCE so you love it all the same.
>Despite being utterly terrifying it seems to be reciprocating your attempts to communicate, showing you the strange and complex runes of an otherworldly language.
>It's a bit tricky working with a language whose spoken form hurts to listen to, but if anypony can do this, it's you.
>IA IA ANONYMOUS FTAGN!
>You scrunch up in discomfort
>Hehe, you're thinking too hard about the sounds that go with the symbols again
>Maybe you need a break
>A few days back at ponyville sounds awfully nice right now
>No. If you left, who would keep it company?
>You'd hate to be all alone on another world with nopony around.
>It's you duty to make this guest as comfortable as you can.
>Maybe just one day?
>You'll talk to the other princesses about it tonight.
>Anyway, time to do science and make friends!
>You would've thought it would've been an easy decision, but the more you thought about it the harder it got, if you stuck with the minotaurs you'd get to hang out with Nails more and maybe get to know the other prisoners, whereas if you went with the higher level prisoners you'd probably get to know them a hell of a lot better than you could with a large group of mixed minotaurs, ponies and griffons.
"Hmmm what would be the difference between going with one or the other."
>Twee seemed taken aback by the fact you were considering both equally
>"Well nothing really except for your living conditions, you'll be allowed to work either the jobs with the other inmates or the other high level prisoners, you can also choose where you sit in the cafeteria, however you will still have a constant guard escort."
"Hmmm I think I'll move in with the other high level inmates."
>You swear if the floor wasn't made of stone her jaw would've burrowed through the planet and uppercutted some unlucky son of a bitch on the other side.
>"Well all right if you insist."
>After that you were escorted by your guards to what Red, Sky and Lazuli called 'home'.
>And it was definitely an odd design, it was simply one large rectangular glass room in the centre of a darked octagonal room surrounded by guards on the ground and up above
Jeez these idiots like to take security to the extreme.
>You were able to catch the eye of Red and Sky who both looked at you with mild shock, Lazuli was doing her weird meditation thing again.
>As you entered your new cell it was very interestingly laid out, at multiple intervals there were gaps in the floor, if you had to guess, walls are put up at lights out and each prisoner is separated. However there was no sign of any form of bathroom at first, but looking out the back of the cell at the far end of the room seems to be a conjoined lavatory.
>"What are you doing here, weren't you offered a chance to join the other inmates?"
>You stopped your inspection of the cell at the sound of Red's gravely voice.
"Yeah I was but I couldn't leave you faggots to have all the fun without me."
>Red chuckled at your comment.
God these guys really are just like your fellow shitposters back home, feels like home
"So what's the deal with this place?"
>Sky decides to speak up at this point
>"2 dozen guards 24/7, 10 on top, 10 on the bottom, non-stop constant surveillance, this place is locked up tighter than a miser's purse, the only place you'd get any better is tartarus."
>Well at least you're somewhat familiar with your new home so you decide to simply, sit against the glass and talk with the others.
>It's probably about the that time when you should be being escorted to your second job. But out of nowhere a bugle blares throughout the room, startling even Lazuli out of her goddamn coma.
"What the fuck I thought I was in prison not the army."
>You are quickly given a snide remark by a very feminine voice
>"That only happens at dawn."
"Yeah I know it's called sarcasm you smug bi-"
>You cut yourself short when you realize that it was not Lazuli's voice that said that.
>You look up out of your cell and are face to face with- a really wierd looking pony
Wait a weird looking pony, this must be Celestia
>She certainly fit the description, white coat, weird blue, pink and green mane, had a tiara so she must be royalty yeah seems to fit.
>After making sure she was who you thought she was she cleared her throat to regain your attention
>"I'm sorry but I don't think you finished your sentence just now what were you saying?"
>She had a look on her face, challenging you to finish, because she knew you had realized who she was, she was probably used to most prisoners shutting up around her
>But you aren't normal are you
"Oh terribly sorry, I was going to call you a smug bitch."
>Her face immediately took on a very stern look apparently she wasn't used to being talked to that way
>"How dare you speak of our princess in that manner welp."
>One of her guards had his spear at level with your chest, which he was only able to do because you were lying on your back.
>Before you became a human-shishkebab, the princess placed a hoof in front of her guard
>"There shall be no need for that, he is trying to get a rise out of you."
>Begrudgingly the guard returned to his previous position, glaring daggers at you, which you return with the smuggest smirk possible, pissing him off further
>"Now I suppose you know why I am here?"
"Lemme guess to let me out for the pointless bullshit you put me in here for?"
>"I'm afraid not, my student and I wish to fill out a file on you and anything you can tell us about your species, if you co-"
>You quickly interject cutting the princess of mid-sentence
"I'm sorry you and your student?"
>Quickly looking around herself Celestia lets out an aggravated huff, turning towards the doorway
>"Twilight how many times must I say this, you won't be harmed by these prisoners, now please come in here."
>Slowly a tiny purple alicorn enters the room holding a notebook and quill in a purple blob hovering above her head, escorting her is a blue haired, orange coated-
pffftt I'm sorry I can't do that, don't worry she's alone
>She seems intent on looking at anything other than you and the others
>After finally arriving at Celestia's side, the princess continues to speak
>"As I was saying my student and I wish to ask you several questions to understand you as best as possible, if you will follow me we can begin."
>She begins to head towards the door,she stops when she realizes you haven't moved from your spot
>"You did hear what I said yes?"
"Oh I did but I don't feel like moving, I'm kind of comfortable as is."
>"Well I'm sorry but I insist we take this somewhere.... away from the other prisoners here, it will make it much easier for me."
"Well that's good for you your highness but you having armed guards, one of which already wants to impale me, makes me quite nervous and would make it easier for me if they were gone."
>"Well I am afraid this is non-negotiable I need my guards and as prince-"
>She is quickly cut off by you chuckling, then you laugh making all the guards ready themselves in case you attempt anything foolish.
>Eventually your laughter subsides.
"Your delusion is quite amusing princess, but I'm afraid this situation is highly negotiable you see, you are the one who needs answers not me, not only that but I come from a place where you don't even exist so you're title holds no sway over me. So either you leave, or you stay here, you with your guards and me where I am with the others here.
>At this the princess took up an extremely stern glare, annoyed that you had used logic to back her into a corner
Wow she's like a modern day feminist
>Giving a defeated sigh, she returns to the front of your cell and makes herself comfortable.
What will she ask /mlp/?
I know most of what I'm gonna write but I also want some of your opinions.
What kind of place he could have come from where she doesn't exist?
Why he would chose to stay with dangerous criminals instead of creatures that are more like him?
Why twilight brough the worst canon character ever with her?
How many licks it takes to get to the middle of a tootsie pop?
Why he commited his crimes?(because "Grandfathering" is a thing, and since technically none of the crimes he commited were crimes where he's from, and being an alien who has likely never had a chance to learn the rules here, shouldn't he have gotten a grace period at least)
Disregarding the lovecraft nignog, I'm really liking this premise.
And I got what you were doing there. The IA IA bit was just a reference to how uncomfortable Twilight is with human language by comparing it with the incantation to summon Cthulhu. I like it.
>Then you hear a soft knock.
>Your door opens to reveal one of the mares, smiling.
>"Wow, this room is so far away! Why'd the warden move you over HERE?"
>...So Aryanne DID move your room closer to hers!
>Probably just for security or some crap, though.
>You just shrug.
>"Well anyways, it's lunch time now! You wanna join us, Anonymous?"
"Just Anon's fine, and sure!"
>You get up from your bed and follow her away from the room.
>There's a small minute of silence.
"So then... you know MY name now, so what's yours?"
>She slightly blushes and looks at the floor.
>"Oh, my name's not important..."
"...So, what's important is what you're going to do, right?"
>She shakes her head.
>"I'm not that special of a pony, really..."
"What? Nonsense! Everyone's special in their own, well, special way!"
>"Yeah, but here I'm not. The prison doesn't have a bakery here..."
"Well, have you tried asking for one?"
>"Well... no, but that's because I know the answer will be no-"
>"I, I don't know, I just-"
>You stand in front of her and smile.
"Well, as a great man has once said to me, DON'T LET YOUR DREAMS BE DREAMS!"
"JUST, DO IT!"
>"B-but Anon I can't-"
"-Alright, then I'll do it!"
>You start walking back to Aryanne's room.
>"W-wait, but what if you get in trouble?!"
"...For asking for something?"
"Well then, I'll get in trouble, I guess."
>"W-wow... you're so brave, Anon..."
"You're only as brave as the ones that need you to be."
"...What's your name, anyways?"
>"M-my name's Sweetie Drops..."
"Well Sweetie Drops, let's get you that bakery!"
>She nods and follows you.
"And what are you in for, if you don't mind me asking? You seem too sweet to be in a prison."
>In fact, you keep having to remind yourself that this IS a prison, AND a dream.
>It's getting kinda hard to, though.
>"I-I was brought here for having two cats over the legal limit."
>Prison for cats?
>That's messed up.
>...Though, this is more like a vacationing home than a place for punishment.
"And what's the legal limit?"
>She looks so ashamed of herself.
>It makes you sad.
>You pick her up and hug her.
"I'm right there with you, sister. I've had my share of a dozen cats before."
>...Courtesy of your mom, of course.
>She loves those damn things, and you don't have it in your heart to tell her that those little fuckers will probably eat her when she dies.
>So you wake up to the smell of cat shit every morning, because saving a few thousand bucks on dorm rooms is absolutely worth the fresh smell of shit.
>Sweetie Drops smiles and buries her head into your chest.
>-Why is that such a popular thing with ponies?
>And why is it so fucking cute?
>You lift her hind legs up and start carrying her.
>And of course, she loves it.
>You head over down the hallway and stop at Aryanne's room.
"Alrighty, moment of truth. Want to go in with me, ooor...?"
>"I-it's ok, I'll stay here."
>You gently set her on the ground, and she hugs you.
>"Good luck, Anon!"
"Won't need it!"
>You open the door and walk inside.
>Immediately you notice Aryanne lying on her bed... sobbing?
"Are you alright, Ary?"
>She yelps and falls off her bed.
>You run over to her and pick her up.
>You then notice that her room is practically yours, but with an extra desk.
"What's got you so sad?"
>She wipes the tears from her eyes and smiles.
>"O-oh, I'm not sad. I was just yawning; that's why my eyes are all watery."
"But you sounded like-"
>"-I was- uh- meditating! Sometimes I hum while I do, and it sounds like crying..."
"...Oh, well that's good! I always heard meditating had all these benefits to it, but never tried it myself."
>"Y-yeah, it's great... So, then, what brings you here, Anon?"
"Oh, right! Well see here, I've come to see if making a bakery in the prison is an option."
>Her ears fall slightly.
>"O-oh. Sure, yeah, you can have a bakery. Have everything you want- you're leaving tomorrow anyways, why not make the most of it, right?"
>You smile and nod.
>You leave her alone to her meditation and go into the hallway, grinning.
>Sweetie Drops jumps up and awaits your reaction.
>You simply smile.
>She beams and hugs you.
>"Wow, I can't believe you actually did it! Thanks so much, Anon!"
"-Well, I really didn't do anything. I just asked-"
>"Nonsense! You don't understand how MUCH this means to me!"
"Well I'm glad, Sweetie."
>"Now come on, let's go get lunch!"
>You pick her up and start walking, eliciting a squeak and a blush from her.
>One long, unentertaining walk later, you stepped into the cafeteria.
>The second you open those doors, the ponies all start cheering.
>It kinda catches you off guard, but makes you smile nonetheless.
>THEN, you realize that you're gonna leave tomorrow.
>How do you break it to a group of people that love you that you're leaving them forever?
>This'll suck, for sure.
>You walk past the tables with Sweetie, trying to acknowledge every comment, praise, and sultry grin you get, just to seem like less of a dick.
>If you're leaving, you're not leaving hated.
>You head up to the lunch lady serving and grab a tray.
>It's pretty much just a salad bar, minus all the glorious meat.
>You were really hoping to stock up on that dream-bacon.
>Then an idea snaps into your mind.
>You stare at a cup of lettuce and narrow your eyes.
>Bacon, bacon, bacon...
>You grunt, focusing every single fiber of your being into getting that delicious bacon.
>"...That's lettuce, Anon."
>"You were kinda just... staring at the lettuce. You don't like it?"
>Still focusing on getting meat, you forget to flip your sarcastic switch off for Sweetie Drops.
"Lettuce killed my family."
>You cup your hands.
>She just stares at you for a moment.
"It's, uh, poisonous for my species."
>Then she puts on a concerned look.
>"Well it's okay, Anon... It can't hurt you, here."
>She puts a cover over it and pats your shoulder.
>...She's protecting you from lettuce.
>That's a REAL friend.
>You grab yourself a good old non-lettuce-y salad and sit at a fairly empty table.
>Literally a split second after sitting down, every single mare picks up their trays and fills up the seats all around you.
>Sweetie Drops hops onto the table.
>All the mares stop and watch her.
>"Lettuce is poison to Anon here!!"
>They all look at you, then their trays, and immediately toss the lettuce into the nearest trashcan.
>Literally none of the ponies have lettuce on their tray anymore.
>"Oh, my name's not important..."
>"...So, what's important is what you're going to do, right?"
MY WHOLE LIFE IS JUST WARM, FLUFFY SNUGGLES
Now I want Anon to go on a cuddle genocide ending with him blowing up the cloud factory and covering Equestria in fluffy comfort.
>Gotta admire that loyalty, though.
>You smile, then start getting bombarded by more questions.
>"Why don't you tell us where you're from?"
>"Why is lettuce poisonous to you?"
>"Why haven't you taken me, yet?"
>You try to answer as many questions as you can, but can't keep up with the constant stream of it.
>Then a scream interrupts everything.
>Everyone stops and faces one direction.
>At the very end of the room is that stallion you fucked up, holding hoof-fulls of lettuce.
>He eyes you smugly.
>Then he starts running towards you.
>"SWEET CELESTIA HE'S GOING TO KILL ANON!!!"
>The girls start to form a wall between you and him.
>You just sigh and gently push through the crowd.
>"You still need to take me!"
>"Don't do it, Anon!!"
>You ignore the comments and walk towards the dude.
>He starts laughing as he gets closer.
>Then he finally stops before you and touches your chest with lettuce.
>You quickly drop your smug act and clutch your chest, gasping.
"W-why would you d-do this?"
>You fall on the ground with quite possibly the lamest death you've ever pulled off.
>Yet, all the ponies gasp.
>The stallion just smiles like the edgy freak he is.
>"YES! YES! I GOT HIM, FINALLY!"
>Then you hop up to your feet all cool-like.
"You sure about that, buddy?"
>He starts crazily touching you with lettuce.
>Once he realizes that he's not doing a single thing to you, he just stops.
"You done now?"
>He throws the lettuce at your face.
>It actually hurts.
"Take that as a yes."
>You take a step towards him and grab him by his waist.
>Then you suplex his ass.
GLORIOUS HUMAN MASTER RACE
SURRENDER YOUR MARES AND PRECIOUS METALS
>Of course, you're still a bit gentle with your amazing move, despite this guy trying to assassinate you.
>But then again, had you gone full force, you'dve exploded this guy all over the cafeteria.
>And something like that would not fare well in the minds of these cute little mares.
>The image blows past your mind.
>...Yeah, it's not a pretty scene.
>You walk away from the dude and head back to your tray of deliciousness.
>Then the waves of questions begin again.
>"So are you taking me now?"
>"Why are so tall?"
>"Can we see your bottom again?"
>A pony hops into your arm and cuddles your shit.
>God you love this dream.
>About another fifteen minutes of questions later, and now you were off towards the 'Arts and Crafts' room with everyone else.
>They herded around you like a mother duck.
>You loved it.
>And, honestly, you forgot where the room was.
>Yet they still all followed you blindly.
>And they never questioned you once.
>Then finally, you found that shit and allowed all the mares in.
>Ladies first, you know.
>Though, there were more than a few mares who flicked their tails aside for you.
>You just pretended not to see.
>Afterwards, you simply walked inside and sat at a random table.
>There was loads more moving.
>Some mares even took to just sitting on the floor.
>Sweetie Drops being one of them.
>So you picked her up and sat her in your lap.
>And she got plenty of sad, pouty looks.
>Surprisingly, there were no glares of pure hatred and jealousy.
>Then you heard a small bell in the distance.
>You all turn to face the 'teacher' of the class.
>A white Pegasus with golden hair and light purple eyes.
>...You swear to god, this place is so racist.
>"Mornin', everypon- OOOH, we've got a new pony-thing today!"
>She flies over to you and beams.
>"What's your name, Anon?"
What did you say?
You like it?
Amazing! Have more!
Either, with the exchange of money for trap pony. I can't say I have anything in mind since I'm spent till December at least but it's an idea I've had for a while. Fuse is just top cute.
I must apparently have shit taste, because I think your green is one of the better ones going right now.
Now if only Durnk anun and that one anon with the sexually frustrated Celestia story would come back...
>Now if only Durnk anun ... would come back
I go to sleep for the night and you act like It's been a month, ease up a bit.
We all have other things that we have to do, can't writefag 24/7.
>With Anon off at the doctors, you're actually feeling kind of alone.
>Being the one who agreed to be the roommate of the new black suit, you're kind of shunned by the rest of the prisoners.
>It's not a good feeling.
>Even your old roommate is avoiding you.
>Finishing breakfast in silence, you stare at your pudding cup, it's delicious sweetness not doing anything to distract you.
>You jump with a start as a hoof taps your shoulder.
>"Excuse me, Strawberry, you're the roommate of the new inmate, right?"
"Yes," you reply, and the pony breaks into a smile.
>"Oh, what are they like? We're all kind of scared of them, but you're brave enough to share a room with them."
"He's actually really nice. I was worried at first, but he's a person we can be friends with for sure."
>There are collective sighs of relief from many of the ponies around, and you find yourself suddenly swarmed by your old friends.
>And still friends, it seems.
>Making your way back to the mess hall, you aim to catch up with Strawberry before meal time is over and you lose track of everything in this place.
>Getting there, you can see ponies and others are leaving the already.
>As you pass, some of them wave or say hi, to which you reply in kind.
>It's a massive change from before you left.
>Entering the mess hall, you see Strawberry wave to you, a bunch of ponies around her.
>A few gryphons, minotaurs and even a young dragon are there, all looking happy to see you.
"I'm back," you say, taking the open seat next to her.
>"How was the doctors?"
"Just fine. Friends of yours?" you say, motioning to the others around you.
>She nods, "They were all wondering what you were like, but too scared to ask, since you're so big and strange and all."
>Letting out a laugh, you pat her on the shoulder.
"That makes a lot of sense, actually. Well, now they know I'm not some big scary monster or anything, right?"
>"Yep, and they want to get to know you too."
"Well, bring on the questions, I guess."
>Hey, Anon is doing a question and answer period.
>This'll be perfect to learn things you can use to seduce him.
>Edging towards the edge of the crowd, you focus on your sense of hearing to pick up what's being said.
>Enough is enough.
>It's been an entire day already, almost, and that alien still hasn't even petted a pony.
>Even though it's the first thing it did when it appeared in the throne room and you confronted it.
>Looks like you'll have to bait it... personally.
>And then, once it's broken the law even more, off to your personal "dungeon" with it.
>Licking your lips, you prepare things to let you go off for a day or two.
Celestia needs to learn how to talk to people about her problems.
She could have gotten the D with just a few words, if she wan't such a silly pony.
>Be Celly P
"Hi, You're pretty attractive for an alien."
>He's on the ropes, finish him!
>You send him to jail
>Wait no that's not what you're meant to do
>Fuck how are you going to fix this?
>You NEED that alien space dick
"Uh... you just said my name?"
>"...What name? I didn't hear a name! What's your name?"
"My name's Anonymous."
>She lies down on the table and scoots closer to you.
>"Wow, what a great name! I've never heard a name like THAT before! My name's Surprise! Welcome to my art-create-paint-thing class! I know you'll just love-love LOVE it!"
>She'd moved so close to you while she talked, that she was now touching your nose with her muzzle.
>But she doesn't blush, and she doesn't shy away.
>She just smiles.
>You slightly blush and shy away.
>"So, then! In honor of our new inmate Anon here, we'll... I don't know!"
>She turns to you, grinning.
>"Anon, what do you want to do?!"
"Uh, I, uh...-"
>"ANSWER ME ANON EVERYPONY'S WAITING!!!"
"-UH DRAW CATS?!"
>"WE'RE DRAWING CATS EVERYPONY! HERE'S SOME REFERENCES!"
>A bunch of cats come crawling out of her hair and onto the table.
>You frown and stare at the little bastards skittering around everywhere.
>They all flock to Sweetie Drops, who was making weird clicking noises with her tongue and grinning.
>Then you hear the door behind you all slowly creak open.
>You see that stallion nigger again.
>Jesus, this guy just won't QUIT, will he?
>You put on an amused smile and spin around with Sweetie Drops in your lap, casually petting her like a cat.
"You really oughta find something else to do with your time, mate. This is getting a bit old."
>He just grins and says nothing before simply pushing the door away from him.
>Your jaw quickly drops.
>He's got Aryanne hostage.
>He has her in a hold by her neck.
>He's got safety scissors by her neck.
>The kind that can't cut paper.
>But FUCK it, it's the thought that counts here!
"No... this is FUCKED up! You can throw shit at me, you can hit me with lettuce, and you can charge at me all you want, but you do not, and I repeat, you do NOT. HURT. ARYANNE!"
>He opens his smug mouth and moves a foot away from her.
>Seizing the opportunity, you grab a cat from behind you and hurl it full force at the guy.
>His eyes go wide.
>Then he gets a face full of cat.
>You quickly place Sweetie on the ground and run over to Aryanne.
>Then the guy quickly throws the cat off of him and stands over her, face now full of scratches.
>You continue running, much to his surprise.
>"HEY! BACK UP!"
>You're dropkicking this fucker now.
>You leap into the air and bring your legs forwards.
>They both connect with his face and send him flying through the entrance door.
>It makes you wonder how he's been able to continuously get up so many times.
>And why the hell he's so bent on ruining you.
>Well, for another reason other than making him look like a pathetic retard in front of the whole prison, of course.
>You get up and shut the main doors closed before going over to Aryanne.
"You alright, Ary? He didn't hurt you or anything, did he?"
>She shakes her head.
>"I was just coming by to...um..."
>"To, uh... ask about... dinner..."
"Well, didn't I already say yes?"
>"I...I wanted to move... uh, nevermind..."
>"T-to move the dinner to my room, instead of the cafeteria..."
>She blushes and covers her face with her hat.
"...Well sure. No arguments here."
>She moves her hat.
"Well, yeah, why what's wrong with that?"
>"N-nothing! I-I just thought that... that you'd say no..."
"Nope, I'm down."
>"...No you aren't, you're right here."
>You wave a hand.
"Figure of speech."
Fuuck, okay, NOW I'll stop. Made the mistake of grabbing a few energy drinks to crank out writing a bit quicker, but managed to fuck myself, and now I'm crashed to hell. See y'all tomorrow.
That's not the only thing he broke in that exchange.
>Anon ends up killing that stallion so bad he explodes.
>Mares cheer while being covered in his gore.
>"Yay! Now that guy is gone and Anon will be here forever for murder!" They squweel in glee.
>Everyone is happy!
Don't worry, ponies do not die when they are killed.
He'll be back in an episode or so.
And in the meantime you can hug the gory mess to show him you care.
I mean giving someone a hug is one thing, but getting covered in their viscera from snuggling their exploded remains is like three times as caring.
Maybe he just needs a good hard rutting so he realizes he can't live without Anon's dick.