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Reversed Gender Roles Horseland
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You are currently reading a thread in /mlp/ - My Little Pony

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Previous thread: >>25224440

New GoogleDoc Pastebin Archive:

Old CrazyRain's Stories' Archives:
First for kek desu senpai
(quick test to see if this successfully links to the old thread)
(i dont know how to 4chan)
Durnk anuns and fukken writefags here, and we'd all like to see TWISTED TITTIES

>Ponies want to twist Anon's titties
>Titties want to twist Anon's ponies
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>Be Applejack.
>Be prowlin' the roads fer a mate.
>It's that tahme of the year, and you've put off herdin' fer too long.
>But who tuh herd.....
>He needs tuh be impressive.
>Show that cock off, colt
>You know, prove tuh you that they're worthy of formin' a herd with you.
>Yer instincts're screaming atcha, tellin' y'all whut tuh look fer.

>There's one right o'er yonder.
>Caramel, or whatever his name done be.
>He's got a tie-die sock coverin' his sheath, and his scrote has been painted tuh look lahke two Easter eggs.
>Sock's too loose. Eggs too small. Mama want an omelette that can feed a whole family, know whut Ah'm sayin'?
>Who else is next?
>Who the hay is that, Gizmo?
>He has a be-yoo-tee-full mural of a scene from one're his Hahperspace Hahper War games on his colt-jank.
>You've heard that them smarty-types done have some exotic tastes, but you don't want no ugly babies.
>Want Red Delicious, not Crabtree, filly.
>'Lestia-dangit, it's bin all day and not ONE'them stallions has appealed to you.
>Y'all know you shouldn't be so judgemental.
>They're trying their best, and a lot're 'em is first-timers, but yer apple orchard jus' ain't given her seal of approval yet.
>Lahke, take a look Coco walkin' out yonder fer a second.
>You don' even know whut he was tryin' to 'complish with those jewels he glued to his scrotum.
>Looks real painful, too.
>Poor dear probably hot-glued'em on.
>Bless his heart, he tried.

>Oh hey, it's Anawn.
>Haha whut the buck is he even wearin'?
>Oh, Anawn, that's the.... most.... erotic thing you have ever laid yer ahye's on.
>The clashin' colour is perfect.
>Clouds of yeller and blue and red.....
>It looks lahke somep0ny dun shat out Celestia's mane.
>Are those tassels?
>Oh fuck you are so wet right now.
>You can feel yerself winking faster'n Big Mac to the swimmin' hole.

Accents are HARD.
>Accents are HARD.
And unneccessary
>Overdoing the accent
Don't worry, you're not the first one to fall into the trap.
You're doing it wrong. Everyone knows Applejack thinks in a posh British accent.
Yeah, she ain't got no ack-cent!
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>Alright, Applejack, don' buck this up, now.
>Look back real quick-lahke. Is yer matin' plumage on right?
>You bet yer apple biscuits it is.
>Let's proceed.

>You are Anon again.
>And lucky for you, the market is empty.
>On the one hand, that means you can't buy any food.
>On the other hand, that means there's nopony around to stop you from stealing any leftovers in the stalls.

>Oh hey Applejack is here
>And she has the most OUTRAGEOUS ass plumage.
>That's coming out from her ass.
>Fuckin' weirdo ponies.
>Oop, she's spotted you and she's coming this way.
>The smell sort of made you retch when you first put it on, but it's fine now.
>Twilight needs to take way more baths.
>There are these yellow stains on it, and you hope to God that just means she's a messy eater.
>hint its mare cum
>You weren't fooled for a second.

>So anyway, Applejack's just standing in front of you.
>Staring at your crotch
>Just like every other goddamn pony you've come across today.
>Well not this time. She's probably mourning her loss of a hot, seductive guy like yohgod you think you just threw up in your mouth a little.
>This fucking diaper.

>So now she's looking you dead in the eye
>Just like Twilight did.
>Just like Rainbow Dash did.
>By God, though, that plumage is amazing.
>It's like this 45-degree fan of soft, green apple tree branches that have been woven together. You can see all sorts of colours, like green, brown, yellow, orange, and red.
>It's beautiful.

>Aw fuck, she's starting to dance.
>You wrapped a smelly cumblanket over your only clean pair of pants for NOTHING.
>You sigh, resigned.
>Let's see what kind of show she's going to put on for you.
I'll tone it down, then. I'm just typing the way it sounds.
Seemed fine to me
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>Be Applejack.
>The orangest howdy-horse in all the land.
>You've found your colt.
>You NEED this colt.
>Before she passed away, your Mama told you all about courtin'.

"Applejack, when you meet the stallion destined to be yer husbando, y'all make sure he dun get away, 'hear? Ya gotta prove to them that you're a proper mare who can provide for him and make sure he dun want fer nothin'. It can be temping to hogtie'em and mount'em right then and there, but you gotta remember to be gentle. Don't scare the delicate creature away, now."

>You'll make your Mama proud.
>You'll seduce the HORSEFEATHERS out of this colt.
>Prove to him the two of you are meant to be.
>Show him you're strong enough to raise him a proper family.
>Show him how gentle you can be as not to scare him.

>And you intend to do just that.
>Time for the CROSSBOW SHOW

>Be Anon
>Applejack is now in the face-down-ass-up position with her legs spread wide.
>What is she going to dOH LORDY LOOK AT THOSE THIGHS
>Oh Jesus why is this turning you on right now?
>She's pawing the ground and making these moaning/grunting noises as she shakes her tight ass for you.
>She knows what she's doing to you
>You've seen that shiteating grin more than once today

>The smell of lavender distracts you, however.
>You turn to your left and find another grunting, presenting pony.
>Oh hey it's that blue pony from the spa.
>Lotus, you think her name is.
>Her plumage is a weave of white blossoms, like the one on her cutie mark.
>You know that she doesn't do nearly as much physical work as Applejack, so her ass-flexing really just serves to jiggle her butt.
>Her fat, oiled up butt.
>It's a sad day when you have to stop and remind yourself that you are NOT a horsefucker.

>Ruh-oh, Raggy, Applejack isn't happy about this new development AT ALL.
Well I fucked up, then. Next post'll keep the accent.
Don't listen to him, he's drunk!
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peer pressure is a terrible thing[/spoiler

>Be Applejack.

>Excuse you?
>EXCUSE you?
>You are NOT gunna let this mare-whore snatch Anawn away from you!
>You know how she sleeps around, and he deserves better'n her!
>Someone who 'spects him!
>You ain't havin' nun of that, no ma'am.
>You flex yerr sphincter muscles an' adjust yer plumage.

>Be Anon again

>Applejack's asstree just fanned out!
>It's a full 180 degrees now.
>You actually take a step back when you get a good look at her full plumage.
>A scary-ass pair of eyes is staring at you.
>This is amazing.
>Lotus doesn't like that at all.
>She's backing away like a cat that has something stuck on its' head, and her plumage is twitching pathetically.

>Aww, AJ's pawing the ground with her widdle hoofsies like a bull to scare Lotus away.
>This little nigger dun fuck up.
>Lotus knows it, too.
>You can plainly see it in her eyes.
>Her bubble-butt quivers in fear.

>OH SHIT Applejack's actually charging!
>Oh jesus you didn't think it would come to this.
>Rainbow and Fluttershy just tried to scare each other off, before.
>There was no actual violence!
>Oh god you don't want to be indirectly responsible for a horsemurder.
Are you fucking serious.

God dammit, I am retarded.
Let's do this without fucking up again. Jesus fucking Christ.

>Be Applejack.

>Excuse you?
>EXCUSE you?
>You are NOT gunna let this mare-whore snatch Anawn away from you!
>You know how she sleeps around, and he deserves better'n her!
>Someone who 'spects him!
>You ain't havin' nun of that, no ma'am.
>You flex yerr sphincter muscles an' adjust yer plumage.

>Be Anon again

>Applejack's asstree just fanned out!
>It's a full 180 degrees now.
>You actually take a step back when you get a good look at her full plumage.
>A scary-ass pair of eyes is staring at you.
>This is amazing.
>Lotus doesn't like that at all.
>She's backing away like a cat that has something stuck on its' head, and her plumage is twitching pathetically.

>Aww, AJ's pawing the ground with her widdle hoofsies like a bull to scare Lotus away.
>This little nigger dun fuck up.
>Lotus knows it, too.
>You can plainly see it in her eyes.
>Her bubble-butt quivers in fear.

>OH SHIT Applejack's actually charging!
>Oh jesus you didn't think it would come to this.
>Rainbow and Fluttershy just tried to scare each other off, before.
>There was no actual violence!
>Oh god you don't want to be indirectly responsible for a horsemurder.


>You wince from the sound, expecting Lotus to fall into a heap.
>But no, she barely even flinched.
>She's pushing her head back against Applejack's, like two deer locking their horns together.
>Lotus is putting up a fight, but you can tell that she's scared.
>Pedals start to fall from her plumage, and she's sweating away all her body oil.
>Quick as lightning, Applejack wrestles Lotus to the ground.
>In her haste to get away, her plumage/buttplug falls out.
>Applejack trots over to it and stomps it to a pulp with her front hooves.
>D'aww, she looks so pleased with herself.
>You can't say no to that smile.
>Time for upsies.

Be Applejack

>Great Apple have mercy, you dun it!
>You dun claimed a colt and have ensured a new generation of Apples!
>You nuzzle Anawn's face, as is the traditional proposal acceptance.
>Is that Rainbow Dash'n Twahlaht you smell?
>Guess you couldn't keep'm all to yerself.
>Granny didn't raise no selfish mare.
>A colt needs plenty of 'tention to be happy, an' ain't nobody got time fer that.
>Not jus' one mare, anyway.
>'sides, there's more'n enough Anawn tuh go 'round.
>Anawn carries you to yer new home, and you spend that tahm rubbin' yer own stank on him.

And my latest trainwreck is over for today. Last one up is alicorns
lets see how i can fuck that one up

guess what, durnk, you are now horsemarried to Dashie! And apparently an Aussie

>Hot waifu Dashie is finally warming up to the idea of violent predator anun fucking her against the wall
>Decides to play rough too a little
>Ponies always call her cockstruck and teat-twisted for being fucked against the wall by hot monkey anun
>Dashie is seemingly not stupid and decides kicking your genitals is too much
>Dem titties though
>If human males don't nurse young...
>...it means their teats are only for twisting!
>Sound logic

>Time you're gonna get fucked against a wall in Equestria
>Chilling with anun on the couch after a long day
>More like you were reading Intrepid Can and he just flopped over
>Did you notice that he's durnk?
>More like he looks tipsy but he calls it durnk
>He doesn't even drink, but he's always like that when he's chillin
>Just like Berry, but he's supposedly nonmagical.
>Well, no time like the fucking present
>Oh, what a mare has to do to earn a harder buckin'!
>Gotta entertain your stallion.
>Wiggle out from under his body. He just falls down on the couch.
>"where you goin' hun?"
>Oh, he's all sprawled on the couch and his shirt is undone
>Oh sweet celestia, thank you for this sign!
>Gotta rub him just right, all seductive-like and do it.
>Shake what your momma gave ya
>Bite and twist.
>He is looking at you bemusedly
>"what you doin luv?"
"What's it look like, you <3 hot <3 monkey <3 mess?"
>"looks like you're thirsty luv"
"I'm being a very bad filly, twisting your teats like that"
"You're going to have to punish me really hard for this, won't you?"
>"don't actually feel much luv"
>Doesn't feel anything? Huh.
"How about this?"
>"i told you hun they are useless. you seem like havin fun though"
>Not like this. This was not supposed to happen.
>How can you salvage the situation?
>Bite harder. He's supposed to feel something at some point, right?
>"ow shit!"
>aaand you drew blood.
>"aw fuck. well i don't know what you were planning to do dash but you did something alright"
>Somewhere in the back of your mind you remember that you just hurt anun, but...
>The taste blood in your mouth.
>You're getting flashbacks to that time when Gil talked you into tasting her lunch
>Anun's a big guy, he'll handle himself. Didn't bite that hard, right?
>Meanwhile you've gotta barf.
>"dashie, i've got no idea what this just was, but your ass is getting FUCKED tonight"
>Holy *BARF* shit this still worked somehow!
>Still, not doing this again.
>Momma always told you not to twist your sisses' tittes
>And anun was always a total sis
>Why didn't you *bleh* listen?
Twist wants to titty Ponon.
spa pones

>>Aw fuck, she's starting to dance.
>>You wrapped a smelly cumblanket over your only clean >pair of pants for NOTHING.
>>You sigh, resigned.
>>Let's see what kind of show she's going to put on for you.
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RGRE: all writefags are fukken durnk edition

Come on, let's get into the holiday spirit!
The fuck is this shit?
I have no idea.
Anon's such a nasty bitch. Good thing he's got Dash to keep his tight little ass in line.
Not the first story I read where Anon gets puked on. Probably won't be the last, neither.
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Initiative is punishable. You proposed the fucking idea - you LOSE A FUCKING NIPPLE!
Simple as that.
Also, drink less, you're forgetting stuff.

Human male teat-twisting.
Anon is in an abusive relationship with a mare and often goes to the stallion shelter when she gets out of control
RGRE has taken a really dark turn.
>Anon asks for beej
>Ponywaifu seems calm and accommodating
>Anon wakes up the next morning in a bathtub full of ice with his dick missing
>ponywaifu hits anon
>anon hits back
>anon is at least twice the size of ponywaifu
>ponywaifu has to tell the mares at work the next morning that some drunk mare on the streets beat her up and stole her wallet
What if she's a unicorn?
>ponywaifu hits Anon
>Anon hits ponywaifu
>ponywaifu hits Anon
>Anon hits ponywaifu
>ponywaifu hits Anon
>Anon hits ponywaifu
>both are fucked up and require medical attention
>guards are brought in
>animal control is brought in
>WEATHER control is brought in
>everyone from the whynnivists to the alicorn potion peddlers gather the fuck around
>total societal shitstorm
>only ponywaifu and Anon dgaf
>laying in the same hospital cot, all in bandages, smiling, enjoying hot makeup sex
>nobody understands their love
>ponywaifu hits anon
>anon hits back
>anon is at least twice the size of ponywaifu
>which means he hits the floor harder when she magics him down a flight of stairs a few times
>anon has to tell colts at afternoon coffee meetup that some drunk mare on the streets beat him and and stole his wallet
nopony believes him, for for anons sake they pretend that they do
>keky little whores that can't do shit unless it's their talent
>unless they're Twiggles
>Twiggles can into everythang
>Anon gets fucked up by unicorn
>Anon is fucking the one to blame for getting it on with a unicorn specializing in colt-whamming.
>unicorn specializing in colt-whamming
What practical purpose does this unicorn serve in society.
What is their name.
>What is their name.
Ball Buster
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Anti-stallionist hit squad
All Anon needs to do is flick her horn and she's helpless
true love
would literally go to prison in rgre and be violently raped by unicorn horns
This. pony magic wobblies got nothing on fingers.
aww you didn't include ponks...though she was rubbing his crotch more then his cheek,,,
Would that mean the unicorns who rape her in prison would also have rape as their special talent with a related name?
They can try raping her without using magic, I think.
all this talk of RGRE pony prison thinking of a beefy Zebra mare that constantly rhymes about raping her cellmate
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Going to sleep, anons. You better get into the study and write some good greens. That's what you stallions are all good for, anyway.

Or do I have to slap a gelding?
I enjoyed this.
No really, for something you started writing just to be ridiculous, it's pretty good.
thats hilarious
What's the equivalent of a gelding for mares?
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Wait. If stallions are castrated because of their aggressive temperament in an attempt to make them calmer and more suited for labor, does this mean that in RGRE it makes them marelier, seeing as they only produce estrogens with the removal of their testosterone-producing testicles?
i think this line of thinking is shit and leads to stupid and edgy stories
Only because of the castration itself.
I'm just curious about the implications of a gelded stallion in a RGRE scenario.
the implications is a horror story similar to stage 4 female genital mutilation in the middle east
>"Hello Gold."
>You glance over Anon's dinner and find Anonymous looking over some books and notes.
>There's a deep focus on his face.
"How'd you know it was me?"
>He pauses and looks over at you, a warm smile spreads across his face, "I've learned what your hoof steps sound like, plus there wasn't any pleading on the other side of the door."
>That smile makes all the pestering from the royal sisters and paparazzi worth it, you will give everything to protect that smile.
>"Is that food for me?"
>You snap so abruptly from your fantasies that you almost release the platter from your grip.
"Oh! Y-yes, power salad, just like you wanted."
>Anon slides some papers over and sets the platter down in the now empty space, "Y'know, I scoffed when you said this was your go-to meal during your training, but I gotta say, I feel amazing."
>He brushes a hand over his bicep, there's a noticeable difference in size in the month since he's begun perusing this plan of his.
>You remember to check on your bottom li- yup, biting again.
>After the subsequent pain dulls you walk around his room and make sure that all your magical seals are still intact.
>"Mmm! Damn! Gotta..." Anon grumbles to himself.
>You turn back to face him to find he's using the bottom of his shirt to wipe at the book on his desk.
>Once again his smooth stomach is revealed to you, but this time you only bit your lip a little bit.
"You shouldn't eat at your desk, you do have a small table over here you know."
>Or well he did, until he covered it with what appear to be Equestrian law books and Minotaur weaponry.
>"I know, I'm just kinda hung up on Captain Braveheart right now an-"
>Your ears perk at those two words.
"Captain Braveheart?!"
>"Yeah, I've been reading about her time as captain, she made some interesting choices it seems an-"
"SOME interesting choices? She made THE most influential decisions that continue to affect the way the Royal Guards operate to this day!" you chirp.
>Anon looks taken aback.
>You can feel an intense heat spreading along your cheeks.
>Have you ever been this... informal with him before?
>Not like putting your head inches away from his privates isn't informal under normal circumstances or anything, but that's different since he needs help with his fitne-
>Anon lets out a small chuckle, "I was saying that it seems like you really admire Captain Braveheart while you were just staring off. Fantasizing about her just now?"
"N-no! Not her, you." oh horseapples!, "Y-you... uh, really got it right. I respect Captain Braveheart a great deal..."
>Please buy that please please!
>Anonymous' face remains unreadable, leaving you on the verge of trembling in your uniform.
>That smile you admire so dearly makes its presence on his face, "Heh, I can see it in your eyes."
>You can't help but smile back at him.
"A tactic Captain Braveheart advocated for during a time when Equestria was recovering from the Discord days. "Be it an opponent, superior, fellow guardspony, or being from another nation, their eyes will tell you a great many things before their mouths or actions will"."
>"Do you mind looking over this with me? I have to keep referencing the history books for context and it's taking me ages to make sense of it all."
>A chance to discuss one of the greatest captains in Equestrian history? Somepony you've dreamed to be like since you were a colt?
>You spin around the room frantically, searching for a seat to pull up next to Anon.
>"I uh, think I broke all the other ones..."
"Oh... well that's okay, I can just answer any question you have."
>Anon shakes his head, "Psh no way, kick of that clunky armor and stack some of the bigger books here next to me."
>Discussing Equestrian history and Captain Bravehart right next to Anon... you have to actually put in effort to not squeal in delight.
>You settle in next to him and he slides the book over between the two of you.
"Let's see... oh, no!"
"You don't want to read this book, I mean, it's alright but it doesn't have some of her letters. Those are absolutely critical to understanding her as a pony. I think there's a copy here in my stack, I just assumed you grabbed two from the royal li-AH! What are you doing?!"
>Anon's hands are tucked under your armpits as he hoists you up into the air.
>"Swap them out real quick would you?"
>Oh! R-right...
>You try to ignore the gentle firmness of his hold on you as you swap the books out.
>He sets you back down once the inferior book is under your rump.
>"So I was around the part where the Diamond Dogs tried making claim to the Crystal Empire" Anon states, flipping through the book on the desk.
>A point where Equestria, and Captain Braveheart suffered a terrible defeat.
>At her lowest, but unwilling to fall, Captain Braveheart believed that the only chance Equestria had at lasting just one generation more required some, at the time, radical decisions.
>These decisions she perused, in the face of overwhelming resistance from the royal sisters themselves even, eventually paid off for the recovering nation and her place in history was forever cemented from then on.
>You wonder sometimes, what Captain Braveheart's eyes might have looked like.
>And lately, the harder Anonymous pushes himself, to achieve the goals he's set forth, the more you think they might look like his.
>"Alright, I think this is around the point where I left off in the other book. So what I want to know here is..."
>You two stay up late discussing the first fall of the Crystal Empire, so late that you both fell asleep at his desk.
>When you awoke, you found yourself snuggled under his arm which would've been great save for the drool that you pooled all over his notes that were taken from the night before.

>You are Time Turner.
>"Order up!"
>You slam your quill down on your little work station, spilling ink all over your diagrams.
"Oh! Ponyfeathers!"
>Acting quickly, you snatch up a rag from nearby and get to dabbing, not wiping, up the ink.
>All this buzz on what's supposed to be the slowest day of the week.
>And all because the hermit prince is visiting Ponyville.
>Citizens everywhere have been working around the clock to make sure the place is absolutely "perfect", according to Princess Twilight anyway.
>And as a result, they've been coming to the local cafe you work in just to keep themselves going.
>Such weak constitutions, you've gone on research binges that lasted FAR longer than two days and didn't need a drop of caffeine.
>Though it's not like anypony cares what YOU research, at least when it's not related to MAGIC anyway.
>If they could only see the capabilities of your ideas, the potential!
>You might have been made a prince instead of some otherworldly col-
>You yelp in surprise as Java Chip's voice comes from right next to you.
>"Enough with your silly doodles, at least for today Time Turner. The Prince is here."
"They are not "silly doodles" If you could only understand what potential applications thi-"
>"Potential this experimental that, you're here to smile and serve customers when I say "Order up", and I said it three times now. So please, do what I pay you to do."
>You scrunch your muzzle SO HARD at her, quickly tucking your VERY IMPORTANT DIAGRAMS into your apron's pocket, and snatch up the serving tray nearby.
>"That's one half of it" she remarks as you turn to head out into the lobby.
>You make the most forced smile you can muster, she gives you a dopey smile in return, "See, you look so much more handsome when you do that" she chirps.
>What you would give to be free to research all these ideas you have.
>Rather than trade in your dignity for bits so you can eke out a meager living on your own.
>Most herds that approached you was off put by your... vested interest in knowing the unknown, the rest tried to dissuade you from your pursuits because "You could get hurt messing around with lightning bolts" or whatever it was you were interested in at the time.
>So the decision to remain single and retain what little freedoms this meager pay allowed was obvious.
>You thank the mares at the table for the very "innocent" complements they gave you and ignore the casual "stretching" they do while they are totally not trying to peek past your apron.
>Gets you better tips if you don't call them out on it.
>The door to the cafe opens and the room goes completely silent after a collective gasp.
>"U-uh hello everypony, don't mind us, just popping in for a quick drink is all" Princess Twilight announces to the captivated room.
>Beside her stands Prince Anonymous, looking quite cheerful, not surprising, he's probably basking in the awe unlike the far more humble Princess.
>You glance around, seems like you're the only one out in the lobby right now.
>Which means you have to be the one to take their orders.
>Which means you can probably snag a pretty sizable tip, might be enough to afford some of those ores from the Pie family farm you've been dying to get your hooves on.
>Putting on your winningest smile, you trot over greet the royalty.

That's all I have for now, hope it's alright so far.
Not exactly.

Genital mutilation, including procedures like circumcision and excision, is realized for the purpose of preventing the person from being able to experience pleasure while mating.

Castration, in both stallions and men, is performed to prevent the person/animal of being able to impregnate females and to remove the source of testosterone in the body for the purpose of causing a milder temperament I the male.

Both procedures my be seen as horrific and cruel but they are not realized with the same end in mind. Regardless of this fact, I was wondering more about the implications of geldings in a sentient society where the 'fairer sex' is the one that produces more testosterone than estrogen rather than the inverse, and how the removal of these testosterone-producing factories would affect them psychologically. After all, genital mutilation and castration performed on a willing subject by professionals is a thing in the real world simply known under the name of 'sex change operations'.
>Castration, in both stallions and men, is performed to prevent the person/animal of being able to impregnate females and to remove the source of testosterone in the body for the purpose of causing a milder temperament I the male.
which also causes a myriad of other health problems

not to mention youre talking about sapient fucking creatures
good fucking lord anon
It's great and I'm enjoying it.

I'd like more.
I REALLY like where this this is going, this is from the prompt about a royal herd.

>"Anon, why did you build a gay kingdom ?"
"Wait, what? Oh no this is a nightmare. "You're all sick!"
>"Oh be nice" yells a stallion down the hall.
>"Well sir, we work hard; we play hard" Gold states next to you, before music in the "Ballsroom" stars blaring.
"I swear I thought that was a typo!"
>You claim while pulling Twilight away before her "innocent" eyes can see anymore.
And some real, sentient people are still willing to risk those health problems in the chance that they might feel more comfortable with their bodies.

I understand why you wouldn't want to read a story about that. I never said I did wanted to read a story about that; I once saw a recorded video of sex change operation procedure and I almost vomit, but that doesn't mean we can't discuss it the hypothetical ramifications of such a situation.

Unless, no one wants to talk about it, of course.
Is BNW still alive? I need more Minotits.
Love it, was hard to read due to dancing skeletons. More.
Get your groove on!

Alright, so in this context geldings would be former stallions who are trans, and would be seen in a manner analogous to female to male trans people in our world.

Unless we're talking about involuntary castration, but you'd have to make RGRE also be really grimdark for that to be a thing that happens. The fact that it removes reproductive capability precludes it from being used merely so their wives can control their sexual behavior,

If we are going to go all grimdark and edgy though, I guess it could be used as a severe punishment.
>Alright, so in this context geldings would be former stallions who are trans, and would be seen in a manner analogous to female to male trans people in our world.
Stop right fucking there and go back to tumblr.
Fuck off. I guess being a eunuchs makes someone a genderkin or what ever your fucking Special Snowflake moonspeak for it is.
Do you see a soapbox? I'm just following the train of thought to its logical conclusion.

I suppose there could also be child soldiers castrated in an attempt to make them more "marely."
You want to talk about eunuchs in Equestria? Fine. Other guy mentioned sex change operations, so that just made me think of it in those terms. Having a few weird fucks in Equestria seems a lot more likely than having gelding as some sort of institution.
How about we fucking drop it? This whole idea is fucking retarded.

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Them double standards, man.
preddy gud

how do u make 4 lines so sad?


Gelding is an insult. It paints the stallion as useless, as well as stealthily implies that the dick was his only use ever.
literally kill yourself
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Fuck. was -> is

Sounded better in my head... The stallion doesn't have to be actually gelded though. Insults don't always have to be technically correct.

Ok, honey!
This is really good, more please. Oh, and start namefagging.
>hope it's alright so far
yes, moar
Write faster faget. We want moar.
BNW and Frosty are both kill, we have no regular posters anymore.

It is doomed.
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>You are Rainbow Dash.
>And you just finished building Anon a proper nest for your foals.
>First, you gathered up every cushion and pillow you could find to make the frame nice and sturdy.
>Next, you tied it all together with all those blankets Anon had stacked up in his cupboard.
>Finally, you looked for every single shiny object Anon had around the house and used them to decorate the nest.
>Your chest puffs up with pride, and your wings twitch with a feeling of dominance.
>Now you won't have to worry about other birdpones stealing Anon away from you.
>Fucking Fluttershy

>You are Twilight Sparkle.
>Snuggling and make-outs takes a LOT out of a mare.
>You've spent the last hour or so trying to figure out how to move your personal collection of books to Anon's house.
>Your new house.
>Oh this is so exciting!
>Anyway, you can't keep them in the library anymore if you're going to move in with Anon.
>Spike might find them, and you don't want to have THAT kind of conversation with him just yet.

>You know, dangerous spellbooks, ancient tomes of forgotten gods, that sort of thing.
>Some of the books might be smut.
>A lot of the books might be smut.
>Okay, It's all smut.
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>You have a collection of every issue of Playmare published to date, plus a bunch of those awful "romance" novels written for lonely, middle-aged stallions.
>Look it gets lonely sometimes.
>N-not that you're one of those gross mares that only see a dildo when they look at a stallion!
>You're prepared to respect the SHIT out of Anon when you get to his house.
>You might even tip your sunhat at him.
>Okay, look.
>Being Princess Celestia's star student, and Element of Magic tends to inspire STRESS.
>Stress that you have to GET RID OF to stay sane.

>Aw fuck, that reminds you.
>You have to find a way to move your boxes of sex toys to Anon's house and figure out where to hide them.
>You think you'll have to add another room to your coltfriend's house if you want to fit everything.
>Enought thinking. Let's go make lunch.

>You are Applejack.
>You're not sure you 'preciate being carried by yer stallion lahke a baguh flour.
>It was real cute at first, seein' him so excited to start yer new lives together, but colts're starin' at you now.
>It's imaresculating, him carryin' you 'round lahke this.
>You make sure to wriggle a bit and grumble jus' loud 'nough for any other mares to hear you.
>Can't havin'em think big'ol AJ has gone soft fer some city colt.
>But he's yer beau
>And you luv'im with all yer heart
>So you'll put up with it this time.

>You are Anon.
>It's ten minutes to your house, you got your arms full of mare, half a mind to lose, it's mating season... and you're wearing a cumdiaper.
>Hit it.
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>Thee art Luna.
>Thou has't just finished raising the moon for the evening, and art eager to start thy night.
>Thy dearest sister hast shared a scroll with thee, delivered by Twilight Sparkle, and it appeareth that thy lady's star pupil hath found a proper herd.
>The supposedly monogamous Anonymous hath somehow managed to seduce three mares with nary an endeavor from hisself.
>Thy loins glisten in the moon light at the bethought of at long last getting thy hooves on that monkey's fiery shaft.
>Thou winketh conspiratorially at the full moon, spreadeth thy wings, and flyeth aroint.

>Thou arriveth at fair Anonymous's abode in less than an hour.
>Thou rap smartly on thy soon-to-be herdcolt's door, and prepare thy mating dance.
>Thy sister hath told thou that many things hast chang'd since thy banishment to the moon, enwheeling how a meet mare treats a colt.
>Thou wast disgust'd to findeth out just how much had chang'd.
>In thy day, thou couldst b'd any colt with naught but a lift of thy tail and a winketh of thy perfecteth marehood.
>Thy royal urges wouldst be fat, and the faceless, nameless colt wouldst feeleth honour'd to hast been chosen by thou.

>Anon himself hath dupp his door, and is staring at thou expectedly.
>Thither is nay needeth for words, howev'r.
>The sacred courtship dance betwixt a mare and a colt is a silent affair.
>'tis a test of a mare's abilities to expresseth h'r natural desires to be with foal, without the crutch that is the spoken tongue.
>Mere centures aft'r thy banishment, thy sister had puteth laws into effect that corrupts this age-old tradition to this very day.
>A bawbling part of though shrivell'd up and perish'd when though saweth one mare pushing a feather duster into another mare's anal cavity.
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>Thou will doth things the way thou wast taught at thy father's hip.
>If 'twas good enough for thy ancient ancestors, it will be good enough for thou.

>You are Anon, and there's a princess at your door.
>Before you can say anything to her, the night princess strikes a pose.
>Are you fucking serious right now.
>If she weren't a princess, you would have shut your fucking door in her face.
>Goddammit FINE.
>At least she doesn't have a bunch of shit jammed up her asshole this time.

>She's turned around and is presenting her rump to you.
>She's winking pretty hard.
>Oh, that is fucking disgusting.
>She just sprayed like three gallons of yellow marecum all over your porch.
>Sweet lord above you can smell it from here!
>Oh christ you wish you still had your cumdiaper to wrap around your face.
>The dry wood at your feet quickly absorbs the marecum. The smell isn't going to come out.

>Now Luna is approaching you. She has this glazed look in her eyes as she stops just a foot away from you.
>Oh, now she's doing that dumb horse-smile, where they curl their lips back and display their teeth.


"Could you please stop grunting in my face, Luna."
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>Oh now what now?
>She's rubbing her face into your neck anOW JESUS
>She just bit you! What the fuck is wrRIIIIIIIP
>Your best bedtime shirt now has a big strip ripped out of it, starting from the collar and moving down south.

>You can feel something warm splash on your bare feet, and look down.
>This nasty bitch is spraying bursts of piss right on top of the puddle of marecum.
>What fresh hell is this?
>You take a step back and roughly shove Luna away from you.

"What the fuck is wrong with you! Get away from my fucking house!"

>You slam the door in her dumb horse face, and yell out through the thick wood:

"I expect a cleaning crew by tomorrow morning. And it had damn well better be on your dime, not mine!"

>Ye are Luna.
>This dram colt, this mere peasant, hath reject'd the will of a princess.
>What did thou doth wrong?
>Thou bar'd thy teeth as a sign of good health, releas'd thy marecum to bewray that thou wast ready for mating, and present'd him with thy urine so that the smell would let him know wot that thou wast fertile.


>Was Celestia right?
>Hast things really chang'd this much?
>Thou will talketh to her in the morn.
>Thou will win this colt's phallus if 'tis the last thing thou doth.


The End.
please pastebin this
>>Thy loins glisten in the moon light at the bethought of at long last getting thy hooves on that monkey's fiery shaft.
I lost it.
Anon's going to end up fucking all the ponies except Luna, isn't he?
Aw fuck. I wanted him to cuddle them while hey try to desperately get into his pants.
Stories with non-horsefucker anons are much more fun to read than those who don't
does this mean I have to tripfag now?
Yes. And you will have to use your powers for good, delivering healthy, wholesome, serious greens.

You will forever be AnalPlug Anon though. But this is alright.
>Ponies keep horse marrying Anon
>More than forty ponies have decided to horse marry Anon so far
>Barge into his house uninvited
>Eat all his snacks
>Bother him to twist their teats when he's busy doing stuff
>Anon is getting fed up with this shit
I bet all the strong, independent mares don't settle for anything less than hunk, hung, qt quiet stallions, and don't bother Anon.
So Anon is left horse-sitting the more demure, shy mares with lower self-esteem that constantly need their teats adjusted to get ahead in life. He's twisting them full-time now.
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Anon's usual day.
It's hard work, being a teat-twister for shy, low self-esteem mares. But Anon showers them with as much love and teat-abuse as he can, and he knows that some day his mares will take care of him, just like he took care of them.
Hey Shu, I'd like to fuck your asshole.

But enough about that. Are there any Reversed Gender Roles stories similar to this one http://pururin.com/contribute/view/118716/world-of-reversed-gender-roles.html ?
Links not working for me
shitcock, how do I keep fucking these things up
Real pastebin:

I can only post hidden posts now. WHat the fuck.
hey anun how's ur tit healin? can ponies into nipple prosthetics? or are you now half-titless?
shu baby wanna join us?
Nah, niglet, I'm here. Just busy putting out fires. But, I'm here.
Did a local team win, or did a cop shoot someone black?
No, just black sheep of the family trying to bring his >nohooves ass over on my turf.

I scrunched up so hard I got cramps, yo.
Give him the D
I know that feel anon.
Gather up some yarn, lettuce, and a lesser soulgem, we're gonna summon this writefag.
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Didn't you get the memo? It's called Cowtipping. Trips dictates.
>Guh, another day, another scene
>You stretch out, legs popping
>Fuck if your director wasn't just the most anal-retentive dude. 5 takes for every scene?! Your manag-
>"Anon? Hon?"
>You sit up on the bed, looking down your set trailer to the 'living room'
>It's in air quotes - it's more makeup studio and alcohol reserve
>Helga leans against the hall, idly scratching her stomach. "Hey, so - know you're kinda chillin' right now-"
"Yes, you can join me."
>"Hey! I wasn't gonna say nothin'!" She grins, walking over to your bed and plopping down at the foot
>She lays down - her back resting on your front
"Bitch. You make a horrible blanket"
>Neither of you make to move
>"Mmmm. I'd consider myself more of a muumuu."
>She chuckles, and it shakes the bed
>"So, I was wondering, me and some of the crew were gonna hit the town later toni-"
>Suddenly the lights flicker


"What the hell?!"
>Helga sits up just as she's bathed in a pure, lesser-white light
>The scent of burnt lettuce fills your trailer
>Helga sits infront of you
>Her chest totally shaven and bare
>The sudden change in temperature causing her nips to uh... perk up
>Well then
I did it! I actually did it!

I am a god.
Oh, also, headcanon that may or may not make an appearance:

Minogirls are self-conscious about their tits, sure. (Like guys with horns, for example.) But for the Minogirls, they're secretly more self-conscious about having never been milked.

Insert a mix of "P-please, b-be gentle" + fake bravado "yeah, I produce a liter a day!"
>But for the Minogirls, they're secretly more self-conscious about having never been milked.

would you milk a minogirl and cook with her milk
I'm surprised and disappointed that there has been no titty fucking with the only race in Equestria that has proper chest tits.
Srs your mino stories are p great
testing tripcode, please ignore faggotry
>Minogirls are self-conscious about their tits, sure. (Like guys with horns, for example.) But for the Minogirls, they're secretly more self-conscious about having never been milked.

Ooh, can I try this?
So, I guess that's the significance of Helga being a milkmaid…

Huge tits?
What causes minotauresses to start milking in the first place? Normal cows need to get pregnant before producing milk, so it is a symbol of maternal pride or something?
I say it's like the minotaur equivalent of a cutie mark.
Minos don't herd like ponies do, but they do have herd mentality. maybe mino culture is like a community parent thing, where everyone puts effort into raising the young. the ability to lactate on demand would benefit the community, and help their survival as a species.
Shh!! Don't ruin the fantasy…


im confused
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I couldn't think of a good cute short story about a minotaur girl who's self-conscious about her breasts or the fact that she didn't start lactating when she hit adulthood.

So have a picture instead.
I also couldn't think of any good dialogue to the picture, sorry.
Also fixed something
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Something feels off. Too cow-like maybe? Looks like a cow head on top of a human body?

I'm not sure what it is.
I'll try again next time with more research and practice into anatomy, I've always been bad at that due to lack of practice.

I'll whip up a new drawing when I write more minotaur stuff!
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dont ask just...
Guys i was thinking, what about a story of anon running away from twilight because he find twilight is stalking him, so in the Middle of the night he scape to the minotaur kingdom. When twilight find out anon ran away she go full crazy and shit hit the fan (Also sorry for the bad english. I just like stories where the ponies are kinda obssesive or creepy with anon)
all of my yes
No worries about the english.
I kind of like stories like that too
The story idea is also one I can get into
Female cows don't have horns.
That could be it.
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They're the conjoining of a dairy bred species with an absurd output (most dairy cows can do 6 gallons a day, some breeds 8 or more), and a species with an absurd size compared to need.
So they have a monstrous output by nature. Add this being a culturally selected trait for several thousand years, and a little magical manipulation and you've got minotits just naturally lactating throughout their lives.
Attractive AND productive!

If you had a minogirlfriend you would never need to run to the store for milk.
Please post cute cows like >>25302348.
Someone made a thread looking for me. I'm touched, but mostly confused.

Anyway: http://pastebin.com/Jm9G3sTP

>The girls stand around the crystal map, staring hard at it.
>The map seems a bit dull, lacking its usual glow and sparkle.
>”Spike! Take a note!”
“Alright, alright.”
>You hardly pay attention to what Twilight says, writing notes is second nature to you.
>After a lengthy two and a half-page ‘note’ you put the quill behind a spine on your head.
>>”Where are the princesses?”
>Rainbow Dash impatiently asks, while still trying to fly.
>”I-I’m sure, they’re on their way! They have to be! Right? Right?!”
>Twilight paces nervously back and forth; you can just see her hooves scratching the nice clean tile you spent hours doing.
>>”Well, they better hurry up! I can’t be the best flyer in all Equestria, if I can’t fly!”
>>>”Please darling! Relax. I’m sure the princesses will be here any moment... Right Twilight dear?”
>”Yes! Of course! They have to be! He he. They probably just caught some headwind from Canterlot!”
>>”Fine. Then where the hay are Anon, AJ and Fluttershy?”
>Rainbow Dash looks condescendingly.
>You roll your eyes, and take another gem from your bowl and crunch on it.
>Woah, looks like Twi’s about to snap.
>Maybe you should head over to sweet apple acres and hang out with Mac.
>Maybe hooves is home, but that dudes a weirdo.
>Besides, Mac doesn’t like him.
>Though, those two going at it would be pretty funny.
>Just until this stuff blows over.
>>>>”Don’t worry Twilight! I’m sure they’ll be here aaany moment!”
“So, do any of you know what the problem is?”
>Twilight’s scream sounds like a whine.
Thats a lot of green to catch up on

>>>”W-well, we know it’s some sort of magical disruption. Right darling?”
>”Yes… some ponies can’t fly, all unicorns are having a hard time doing magic, earth ponies are feeling weak...”
>>”The weather ponies say clouds aren’t staying together, and aren’t following Pegasus winds. They’re following the normal wind though.”
>>>>>”Some of my animal friends are acting different, Mr.Bear tried to eat Angel, Opal and Winona won’t stop fighting, and I saw a wolf chasing a little bunny.”
>>>>”Some poor ponies cutie marks are going loopy! You know how hard it is to cheer up a construction pony who can’t hit nails right anymore?!”
>>>”Magical devices are also not working, darling. The fountain in the square has stopped working; the water just won’t flow up the magic trail anymore.”
>[]”So basically, things are getting closer to the Everfree forest?”
>The entire room calls the humans name at once.
>[]”Elements of harmony, I’m AiE.”
>Come to think of it, Anon is a weirdo too.
>But he’s a cool kinda weirdo, like fun weird.
>You know, hooves is pretty fun too.
>”Never mind that! Anonymous! What are you saying about the Everfree?!”
>Mac is too harsh on him.
>[]”So, weather can’t be controlled anymore, animals are trying to predate on each other, water flows down. Basically the natural world is straying away from magic, just like the Everfree forest.”
>Maybe you should help them get along.
>{}”That’s an interesting theory Anonymous dear, but I’m sure there is a simpler explanation for all this. Why don’t you help Spike get us snacks? And we’ll take care of this.”
>Wonder what Mac thinks of Anon.
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>()” Sister, we’re sure Anonymous may has't a point we may miss.”
>It’s amazing how these sisters are arguing one minute, and best friends the next.
>You’ll never understand mares.
>{}”Oh shush Luna. Now hop to it, Anon, and don’t put salsa on the chips, put it on the side.”
>Anon looks right at princess Celestia.
>[]”How about no?”
>You forgot how viscous Anon could be. You know not to talk back to the princess of all mares, but Anon’s cow faggotry knows no bounds.
>The other ponies look in shock, Pinkie and Luna clearly trying to hold back laughter.
>Princess Celestia’s face is red, a combination of anger and embarrassment.
>()*PFFT*”He! He!...He!”
>{}”What! Is so funny, Sister?!”
>()”Nothing sister, we just remembered an old humorous parable.”
>{}”Oh, did you?! Do share!”
><>”Aunties, please. We should be focused on-“
>{}”No, no. Let Luna tell her parable.”
>()”We think it would be beyond you.”
>{}”Try me.”
>You quickly walk out of the room towards the kitchen, before things get too heated.
>You swear, mares are weird. And Anon.
>Worst part is, you’re catching on to ‘tongue and cheek’ as Anon calls it.
>Hope it won’t keep some nice mare from you, you hope you won’t say anything you didn’t mean to.
>You enter the kitchen; you always get dizzy at the size of this place.
>This is too big a place for you.
>The larder has 12 shelves, there are cupboards stacked on cupboards, the stove is too tall.
>What is this? A kitchen for dragons?
>Well, bigger dragons.
>Either way, while it’s flashy, doing anything in this kitchen takes too long.
>You want a manageable kitchen; you’d go crazy spending time in here, like you’re supposed to.
>You start gathering different snacks, like you where told to.
>Having Anon here would actually be helpful.

>He’d probably have helped if you had asked. He doesn’t respond well to orders.
>Mac is a magician in a kitchen, he just knows where everything is and how everything works.
>Come to think of it, you don’t really like kitchens.
>You like sleeping, eating and tagging along with Anon when he does his thing.
>Like that time he found a tunnel and you went exploring while Anon wore a funny hat and carried a hatchet.
>That was fun, kitchens are not fun.
>Probably shouldn’t tell Twilight about that.
>She’d panic and start going on about being bad at raising you.
>She even once tried to get a colt friend just to find someone to teach you.
>That was awkward.
>Almost as awkward as trying to carry snacks and drinks for 10 ponies.
>[]”Luna do you agree with this?”
>()”We aren’t as skilled in magic as our sister, however we believe her theory holds water. Though I have doubts.”
>[]”Such as?”
>{}”Anonymous, is it really your place to be-“
>()”Silence sister. There’s Spike with the snacks.”
>{}”Ahh, good. The walk was tiring.”
>[]”Walk? You guys didn’t fly or take a carriage?”
>{}”All our carriages said they were having a hard time flying.”
>What are they even talking about?
><>”We flew for a while, it was more tiring than normal. Aunt Luna wasn’t having as much of a problem.”
>()”We are the most physically capable of the royalty.”
>{}”Says who?”
>()”You know who, and how many, sister.”
>{}”SISTER! Anonymous and Spike are here.”
>()”Apologies. However, it's true. we wast having a hard time flying. Except us. Until, ponyville was in our sight, then we simply fell out of the sky.”
>[]”Fell out of the sky?”
>[]”Hey Rainbow, does that sound familiar.”

>>”Yea, all the Pegasus are having a hard time flying. Only ponies with cutie marks even have a chance.”
>{}”Anonymous, dear. I know you’re trying to connect this to your crazy theory, but believe me, this is a mere coincidence.”
>[]”Rainbow Dash, Weather ponies, Luna. Once is a mistake, twice is a coincidence, third time is a pattern.”
>{}”It’s not a pattern!”
>[]”How does Pegasus flight work?”
>{}”I don’t see how this is relevant to the discussion.”
>[]”Could someone just tell me?”
>>”Yea, they teach you in the first week of flight school. The egghead stuff comes before the cool stuff. We use something called ‘soft magic’ we controls the surrounding air gently, to do what we want.”
>Twilight lights up and starts speaking.
>”Soft magic is scientifically known as ambient magic, it is always present around magical things.”
>[]”Do magical things radiate ambient magic?”
>”No, things don’t radiate ambient magic. It’s a interaction between the magical thing, and the outside.”
>>”Ugh! It’s like being back in flight school.”
>{}”This discussion is interesting and all, but it’s not really important right now.”
><>”I agree, we’re not getting anywhere.”
>()” Just hush and see whither it goes.”
>”Only the intelligent creatures have any degree of magical control. How birds are capable of flight is one of science’s greatest mysteries.”
>[]”Is it?”
>Sometimes, you think Anon knows more than he lets on.
>>”Yes, birds have no magical control, yet can fly as well if not better than most Pegasus. Same as bats, flying insects and a few other creatures.”
>[]”But soft magic works in the Everfree, right? How else could ponies fly over it?”
>Twilight would tell you not to worry about it.
>{}”Knew it.”

>”Soft magic doesn’t work in the Everfree, that’s why all the weather follows it’s own laws. In order for Pegasus to fly in the Everfree, they must use active magic. Hard magic. That’s why flying around the Everfree is so tiring.”
>Oh brother, it’s like being back with her during her school days.
>>>”I don’t know where you’re going with this, darling, but I have the hunch you’re going to say that whatever is happening, has stopped soft magic.”
>[]”Yea, that’s what I was working towards.”
>>>”But what about us not being able to pick up anything with our magic?”
>”Well, certain magic control, blurs the line between ambient magic, and active magic. Telekinesis is a controlled type of ambient magic, semi-active magic. It’s why we can’t pick you up with our magic.”
>()”Or otherwise.”
>Cadence giggles at Luna’s comment.
>Anon just eyes her, and smiles a knowing smile.
>Twilight looks away, and Rainbow dash clearly blushes.
>”A-Anyway. Spells like Telekinesis, have a pony enhancing their ambient magic using active magic, to manipulate objects. How well an object is manipulated depends on the skill of the user.”
>[]”How does the horn of a unicorn play into magic?”
>”The horn is simply a conduit that extends the range of magic. All ponies can do magic, it’s just skill that decides how far or how much and what their magic they can do.”
>[]”So, both ambient and semi active magic stopped working? What about active magic?”
>”Active magic is magic that is forced by a user on to things. An example is pretty much all combat related spells. Sheilds and healing magic too. It’s why these magics are so tiring.”
>()”It wouldst be difficult to judge the condition of such magic. As most pony originated magic is a hybrid of magics. Tis wherefore only those with appropriate cutie marks can practice active magic.”

><>”I don’t know Auntie. After hearing this, maybe we should investigate.”
>>”Yea, well where the heck do we find someone good at magic and not a pony?”
>>>>”Maybe we can put a big sign! And have a ‘Searching for someone good at magic without a cutie mark’ party!”
>>>”I don’t think that would be a rapid solution, darling.”
>>>>>>”Ah got nothing.”
>>>>>”Wh-what about Discord?”
>Fluttershy, who had been quiet until now, speaks up.
><>”Hmm, that may work.”
>”Yes, we should ask Discord.”
>You should try hanging out with Discord maybe.
>>”Discord? Can’t we find someone reliable?”
>He’s a fun kinda weird, right?
>>>>>>”Unless ya got a better idea dash, ah think we ought ta just go for ‘im.”
>>>”Applejack is right, Discord may be, err-...”
>Rarity almost says something, but instead eyes Anon and changes her mind.
>>>“But he is our best hope right now.”
>>>>”Besides! Maybe he’ll make more chocolate rain!”
>Oh yea, he’s a jerk.
>[]”What do we know about discords magic?”
>{}”Next to nothing. And that’s why it’s a terrible idea.”
>()”Now sister, that is not all true. We know f’r fact Discord only uses active magic. Tis wherefore he is so hard to magically control. We know nothing of how or whence he gathers the energy to constantly use active magic.”
>{}”And I doubt he’ll tell us.”
>[]”He will if Fluttershy asks.”
>>>”Fluttershy, darling. Where is Discord at this time?”
>>>>>”I don’t know, I sent him off this morning because of my... Erm... condition.”
>”Do you know where he could be?”
>>>>>”He said he needed to find the perfect music for a friend. He could be at the theatre, he was there yesterday.”
>[]”Seeing as this is the only real lead we have, we should probably head to the theatre.”

>{}”NO! We should stay here! Maybe call discord, but I’m sure we’re missing a simple explanation. A wild goose chase is a bad idea!”
>()”All those in favor of following Anonymous, raise thy hooves!”
>Every pony, except Celestia puts their hoof into the air.
>{}”You too?!”
><>”Sorry Auntie, Anon may be right.”
>{}”Fine! Lets see how much time we waste.”
>”Alight, let me just prepare my notes and books.”
>>>>”And snacks!”
>You’re genuinely amazed at how Anon can put up with these mares.
>Half the time you were confused, and the other half asleep.
>A bunch of mares disagreeing seems more chaotic than discord.
>Why don’t they just stay quiet about it?
>Either way, Anon didn’t fold.
>You should probably learn a thing or two from him.
>But right now, you’re glad he’s leaving.
>The other mares will follow him. Plus, those shoes leave marks like no hooves can.

See you next year!
gonna take me a few days to read at my comfort
I get what you're doing with the marks. But it was a pain to keep up with.
Silly sun hoers is silly
Also please explain what's going on with those weird line startamajigs
>() like this, what is it?
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There are also still some people in the opera / vocalist / theatre careers who have "farm accidents" to try an maintain a certain kind of voice.
Y'know what? I'd totally put my dick in that.

>[] is Anon speaking
>{} is Celestia
>() is Luna
><> is Cadence (i think)
>>>>>> is Applejack
>>>>> is Fluttershy
>>>> is Pinkie
>>> is Rarity
>> is Dash
> (with quotes) is Twilight
> (without quotes) is spike narrating
dude, it doesn't make sense.
Either put the entire speech into brackets or find another way. Not to mention, anon speaking usually is just not-greentexted.

"Hi I'm anon"
>{"Hi I'm Celestia"}
>("Hi I'm Luna")

>>25305837 anon here
I'm not the writer, I just answered Durnks question. I agree somewhat, though its usually whoever's point of view the story is being told from that doesn't get greentexted. Since the story is being told from Spike's perspective his dialog would be non-greentexted and not Anon's.
It made sense to me, because the font I was using.

[] looks like a square. Which had no further meaning.
{} was a circle with sticks sticking out, it looked like the sun.
() was a circle, like the moon.
<>was because I running out of simple to understand symbols.
Spikes dialogue isn't greentext. Twilight has 1 >.
Each extra > means a different person. Except when there are no quotes which means spike narrating.

I've done this before by adding more >.
But that gets crazy with 11 people in scene.

It would take a smarter man than me to find a better way.
Use ancient rules of writing a play.

Loona: >"I like dicks."
Anon: >"i have a dick"
It will look like this:
>>Sunbutt: ”NO! We should stay here! Maybe call discord, but I’m sure we’re missing a simple explanation. A wild goose chase is a bad idea!”
>>Moonbutt:”All those in favor of following Anonymous, raise thy hooves!”
Every pony, except Celestia puts their hoof into the air.
See, >>25306051 this could be a good idea. You just have to differentiate names and dialogue

for example:
[CELESTIA] >"Hi Luna, how are you?"
[LUNA] >"Mighty fine, sister. Thanks. What about you?"
[C.] >"Good. Listen, there was a slice of cake, in the fridge. Do you happen to know where did it went?"
[L.] >"....n-no idea, Sister. I don't even like c-chocolate!"
[C.] >"I never told you it was chocolate tho..."
Or, to preserve the greentext
>ANON> "A-and then I grab the plot...and then I start eating it...and the pony moans...a-and then..."
>LUNA>"...t-that's ok, anon. I alread know what you dream of"
>A.>"c-can I eat your plot?!?"
What about
>Anon just told the princesses to piss off!
>"NEIIIGH" horsed Princess Celestia
>"Anon, what's gotten into you?" pasta'd Twi in shock
>"" silenced Luna, who still wanted to be included
>The rest of you didn't mind not getting a line so early in the story, so you just watched
>You know from experience that staying back and watching gives you a much better chance of not being thrown through a window
you slut, I was just making my own legend to post.
Well fuck. I should probably be more sober when writing.

I should probably be more sober in general actually.

I'll try to use this way, but in all honesty I will have forgotten by next week. Sorry.
>Anon holds a slut-off
>The prize is one hour of petting from the enigmatic alien
>Every mare (and most stallions, who are dressed as mares) tries to win using any means necessary
What events does a "slut-off" have? Is Anon aware of his part in said competition?
It has the sluttiest events that ever slutted, of course.
Doesnt matter about your English, we need more minotaur stories.
We talking "Twilight wants the monkey's fiery shaft" obsessive, or the "Twilight wants to find out everything about humans (culture & biology), and is going to/has been doing some morally-questionable things to Anon" obsessive? Does Anon flee because he isn't a horsefucker and he is creeped right the FUCK out, or does he flee because jesus fuck the purple horse is stealing his blood and nearly broke his arm trying to determine bone density?
why not both?
Twilight Just HAS to know everything about her crush
I'm not the only one that dislikes this script-style, am I? It just reads mediocre, and I feel we at the very least shouldn't be actively encouraging it. The proper way is to use actions and speech mannerisms to show who's talking.

Durnk knows what's up, as usual.
Link doesn't work
Anon she's mine.
Do it, you never know what you'll get.
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Momma always said 4chan was like a box of chocolate, you never know when you'll get dubs
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He got dubs and you didn't. Maybe if you weren't such a faget, you'd have gotten a better post number, and you could be holding her in your arms right now. But you didn't, enjoy your crippling loneliness.
She's mine faggot.

I'll hide both your bodies in a marsh nigga fite me.
I like it the way you did it. made enough sense to not confuse me. I say don't change it.
well... maybe do something about the >>>>>>, if you can think of something. if not, it's fine as is.
Ok? And?
is it time to TOUCH THE COW
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>I'm not the only one that dislikes this script-style, am I?
No, you aren't.

Scripts are an in-between medium that are used as tools to facilitate a play or something else that involves actors saying lines. It's not a suitable way to do things and present a story in text form.

The character dialogue that wasn't the viewpoint character should have just used regular quotation marks, with the speaker either made obvious in context, or demonstrated with descriptive language before, or after the statement.


>Standing regally, the alicorn prophet Cadance solemly stated the central point that her years of experience and philosophical training had led to, the very essence of what it took to live a wholesome, happy life.
"The fuck is she talking about here?"
>"I think she's actually making a great point, Anon. Wouldn't you like to talk about this some place a little more private?", Twilight responded, with a slight wiggle of her eyebrows.
I was thought that... whatever it was, was male.
No, you're not. I fucking hate it.
That's all well and good for actual writing. But seems to me like whenever someone tries to write prose in greentext, someone usually winds up complaining because "that's not how it's supposed to be."
Isn't the point behind greentext to be to give an abridged/shortened version of the story?
Hell, greentext is a great thing. Really can bring out some feels. Take a look at some fag's Pastebin, I mean hell, he took some serious time for a small and shitty story.
How the fuck has this little douche not been in collab yet?
Anon goes out with an abusive GF >>25307566
BNW, can I have some greens?
If I may interject, I personally prefer to introduce the speaker subtly in the previous line, when it would be ambiguous, something like in the following.

>Twilight looked up from the report.
>"Princess, our swords are ineffective against the griffins' aerial tactics. If we --"
>"I know, Twilight, but what choice do we have? We must either fight or die. We don't have time to retrain our troops."
>"Have you tried attacking them with fish?"
>The princesses turn and scowl at Discord.
"Or even swordfish?"
>"Anon, if you aren't going to contribute anything useful, you may as well leave."
>Luna snorts.
>"Nay, for were he to leave, we would not be able to witness him, as they say nowadays, 'shake that fat ass'. Anon, relieve the tension with erotic dance!"
>The room is silent.
>"I'm sorry for my sister. She's still adjusting."

That way, you don't end up with four or five different quote things.
Or script-like things.
Or the non-greentext-like "..., she said".

I'm betting you can figure out who's saying what in the above without much difficulty, without any obtrusive markings or phrases.

Of course, other writers do it different ways, and some avoid conversations with groups for this reason.
This is just the way I try to write.
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>Anon is dating a guardsmare.
>He shows up while she's on duty everyday to try and make her lose the stoic pose.
>Methods range from innocent to zany to sexy.
>He catches on to the RGR early and uses it to be the biggest tease/almost-slut on guardwaifu.
>Other guards envy her for having such a catch.
>Guardwaifu just wants the embarrassment to end.
You did wrong dipshit. Its supposed to be like this.
Did that army anon ever finish his Bon Bon story?
Greentext is about second person writing, not a purely dialog based exchange.
>If I may interject, I personally prefer to introduce the speaker subtly in the previous line, when it would be ambiguous
That's very tricky for someone to do well.

It /can/ work effectively, but it usually happens by accident when a very inexperienced writer just fucks up. I think it's only something to attempt when you're sure you know what you're doing.

I disagree with your example there.

The speech patterns, subject references (Princess is still a thing that a limited number of characters can be, so we know who the probable suspects might be already), and word choice already give enough clues to figure out who's speaking. When you get characters that are similar enough in position, habits, and speech patterns, that's when it becomes necessary to add extra details.

Besides, giving information on what the characters are doing while they're talking makes it a lot easier to visualize what's going on, and trying to involve as many of the reader's senses as possible in a scene is just good writing practice that should always be done.

Having 11 characters all talking in a scene is a bloody mess, and probably shouldn't have been attempted in the first place. State that all those characters are in the room, and only have 2-3 characters speaking at a time. Show the side characters' body language and manner of speech when you decide to bring the spotlight around to them.

You have to make it easy for the reader to figure out what's going on.
You madman, you'll only summon shitposters with that circle!
>"Hey Stoic."
>You tilt your head ever so slightly to the side, allowing you to see Straight Shot out of the corner of your eye
>She's done the same - which means you're having as close to a face-to-face conversation as on-duty guardsmares can have
>"You're dating a colt now, aren't you? That minotaur?"
"Ah. No, he's a human - subspecies of minotaur, I think."
>Shot grins. "So you're into the exotics, eh?"
>"Aww, don't be like th-"
>Both of you straighten up and clam up as your instincts take over
>This deep in the castle, the soft *tmpf* of hooves-on-carpet can only mean one thing
>Tour groups
>Celestia give you strength
>The door swings open to reveal
>W-with the princesses?!
>"Oh! There's my little Stowaway~"
>"Stoic, come on. I got you lunch! I asked Luna if it was ok if I made you a personal lunch-"
>"-and she insisted I hand-deliver it! The other generals also seemed to approve of that - I know how silly you horses get in that play-map room."
>You swallow and stare straight ahead
>"Do ya want it~"
>Don't move. Maybe this is all just a dream
>"...wanna cooooooookiiieee~"
>You notice he reaches into your bag and pulls out... a handful of loose cookies
>"yahno, ah do lak th' onesh wiff nuts- ah kno yuh do too-"
>Shot trembles slightly, holding in her laughter
>crumbs everywhere
>So that's the game today, huh
>Bring it, little colt. When I get off work, I'm going to ride you into the grou-
>Oh now he's just crumbling them up and spreading them everywhere!
>You better not get in trouble for this
“Let’s see…”
>Lotions look to be all good.
>Scented oils are filled to the brim.
>Plenty of towels.
>Curds was on point last night.
>Pretty much no set up for you to do, which is good because you’ve got a client coming in any minute now.
>You spend a few more minutes tidying up, moving your bottles around so they look centered, then questioning whether it is centered and fixing it, only to second guess THAT decision and move it ba-
>With a grunt you tell the bottle to fuck themselves and that it’s good enough.
>A glance at the clock reveals that your client should’ve been here about seven minutes ago.
>She paid for the express service, which means you’re going to be in here until lunch and you’d really rather be paid for that time.
>You wait until its ten minutes past the appointment time and head to go tell Whey that your client is a no show.
>Maybe she can pull in a few minos from outsi-
>The door meets some resistance and was followed by a yelp, which was followed by a thud.
>And before you, on the floor, is a tauress looking completely bewildered.
“Oh sh- uh, are you okay Miss?” You ask, kneeling down to help her up.
>She tenses when she sees your hand enter her field of view, slowly she trails up your arm and to your face with her eyes.
>You notice that her glasses went crooked in the tumble, you also notice that she’s pretty cute like that, especially as the blush spreads across her face.
>”Uh- uhm… N-no I’m- Wait! I mean yes! I’m fine!” she says, placing her hands on the floor and standing on her own.
>You feel a little sting in your chest before remembering that the females are more pride heavy than males here.
>You watch as the tauress stands up and dusts herself off.
>It’s about this point that the shock of hitting your client with a door has worn off, meaning that you now notice that her chest tuft is massive.
>It’s not uncommon exactly, you’ve been told by your bros that most tauresses with chest tufts like this have more tuft than breast making up that volume.
>Still, the way the fur on her chest moves as she dusts off her tail and adjusts her glasses gives you some pause.
>Remembering what the fuck you’re supposed to be doing, you shake off those thoughts and get your head back in work mode.
“Thanks for coming to the Aluminum Mallet, my name's Anonymous and I’ll be your masseur today. Can I get you anything before we get started? Our premium sparkling water? Some medium moisture grass? On me of course, I am so sorry for startling you.”
>Anything to get her not to tell Curds or Whey what you did to an Express Service client.
>The tauress ponders on your question for a moment, “Nono, I’m okay! You don’t have to get me anything” she stammers out.
>Well that’s good, would’ve been taken out of your pay if she had and you guy overcharge the hell out of those things.
“Alrighty then, right this way.”
>You let the tauress follow behind you, a lesson you learned when you would up having a stand still outside the door during your first week on the job.
>You turn around and find the tauress is standing nervously just inside the doorway.
“Uh, If you would be so kind as to close that door behind you and come lay down right here on the table that’d be great”
>She snaps to attention, looking a little overwhelmed for a second before doing as you said.
>She stands next to the table, “R-right here? I just lay down?”
>First timers…
>You’re a little surprised she paid for the Express service first time, but hopefully that means she just has that much dosh laying around.
>Which means you’re gonna need to do great- and hitting her with a door is just the perfect start…
“Well I can’t quite massage you easily if you’re standing cutie, lay down face down for me would you? You can leave your glasses right here on this table.”
>She nods slowly and maneuvers her way onto the table, setting her glasses down right where you ask her to.
>Her belly sort of mushes out around her slightly, you didn’t notice the little bit of pudge on her while she was standing, but it shouldn’t affect how hard you have to push on her.
>She’s very tense, you can tell without even having to touch her.
“So, I’m going to get started here by just getting a feel for you, and you can tell me if you’ve got any areas you want me to focus too okay?”
>”K” she mumbles.
>You rest your hands on the center of her back, she tenses up under your touch.
“Are my hands cold?”
>”N-no it’s just my first time coming to one of… these places.”
>You chuckle softly.
“Well I’ll try to make it a good experience for you, all you gotta do is relax.”
>You gently press your fingers and palms down onto her warm fur as your hands trail all around her back, getting a feel for her tense spots.
“So what’s your name?”
>The tauress doesn’t respond.
>She couldn’t have fallen asleep on your right?
“If you don’t tell me, then I’ll have to call you cutie through the whole session.”
>The tauress mumbles something quietly.
“What was that cutie?”
>”M-Maybelle, th-that’s my name.”
“Alright Maybelle it is then, is there anywhere you want me to focus on Maybelle?”
>She is silent once again.
“I can tell you I feel a lot of tension right here in your shoulders-“ which you firmly rub your thumb into eliciting a soft grunt from the tauress, “-And right here in your lower back” which you knead your palms into, electing yet another grunt from her.
>You step away from the table and walk over to your selection of oils and lotions.
“So, I’m going to target those the most and then loosen you up everywhere else after, does that sound okay?”
>She nods in agreement, having raised her head once she hard you walking away.
“Now, what kind of oil do you want me to use?”
>Her eyes widen slightly at the question, “Uhm… whichever one you want is f-fine with me” she mumbles.
“Well, I’m more partial to the melon extract myself, but you look more like an almond oil kind of girl to me.”
>”Almond oil? That’s what Buckey uses when he’s covering as a masseur in Prince Knight!” she exclaims, probably the clearest thing she’s said this whole time.
“Sooo, almond oil then?”
>A blush spreads across her face quickly and she puts her head back down, “A-anything is f-fine” she mumbles down to the floor.
>Almond oil it is.
>You should really try to find the cow world version of Ainsley, nobody at work understands how funny it is to you that you get to say “It’s time to oil up” regularly.
>That said, It’s time to oil up!
>Yup, still funny.
“So, who is Buckey? Are they some kind of royal masseur?”
>Don't care much for politics, but a position like that would be dope as hell.
>”Oh uh no… Buckey is from an animoo…”

I really wanted to finish this before work, but I'm out of time so I'll come back to finish this hopefully tonight.

Not kill, just writing from my non usual stations and apparently forgot to put my name on during.

I'll get back continuing this maybe tomorrow, just wanted to try a hand at minotits since the mood struck.
Fuck the cow.
Do her now.
yeeeesssss excellent. Good green, good premise.

>”Oh uh no… Buckey is from an animoo…”
fuk u that's brilliant
Ladies and gentlemen, we have now upgraded from pony puns to cow puns
>You step away from the table and walk over to your selection of oils and lotions.
>oils and lotions
>when massaging a minotaur
>who is covered in thick fur, which would either absorb the oils and lotions, or force you to use so much that it turns into a horribly thick, goopy slop that necessitates a shower or bath to clean off.

There are reasons I'm not a furry, and fridge logic stuff like this are big ones.
You need to go deeper. Hair oils are a thing, you know. And they DO turn you into a mess, but supposedly help your hair a lot.

For a pure massage this would offer no benefit, but in a full spa package this would be just like any skin care procedure in a human spa.
So a complimentary bath after a massage for the client to straighten themselves out if they wanted the oils?
A complimentary bath+massage. Hair oil is a bitch to get out.
Do minotaur girls like boob massages?
>>...I know how silly you horses get in that play-map room."
>Anon is used to far more professional environments and everything the ponies do seems like them just playing to him
>Weeb cows

Keep it coming, all of you

is there more
Maybe. I mean, I've currently got DD2 on the back burner while I finish Cow Tipping, and starting yet another tiny adorable oneshot would be... too much.

But I'll put it on the to-do list.

>Teat-twisting General
Applejack in a bathtub with greens (the greens you're NOT WRITING)
Okay guys...first time trying write a story in english, wish me luck

>Your name is Anon and for some reason you're in a magic land of talking horses
>It's been eight months since you arrive, first everything was cool, some ponies fear you and others have weird fantasies with you... like flutter butt, the crazy pony tried to have sex with you
>It was in the middle of the night when you heard someone banging your door, and it was flutterbutt, wearing a gorilla costume. nigga that's racist
>And then she look you in the eyes and say ''Anon, is gorilla rape your fetish?''
>obviously you were too tired for dealing with her fetish investigation, so with a grace of a Gorilla with Diarrhea you close the door in her face
>After a good talk with Fluttershy, you get the deal of saying what your fetish was in exchange of some peace, well, everything go better than expected, you get peace and she the D...in her fantasies, moma 'non raised no horsefucker
>Ponyville is a nice place, maybe a bit racist, but a nice place. Most of the villagers are friendly with you
>Pinkie pie let you take cupcakes for free
>Applejack drink with you when you're sad or nostalgic
>Fluttershy gift you a dog
>Rainbow dash sometimes crash at your house to heard some stories about big fucking metal birds going at the speed of sound, shit, sometimes even she paid
>Rarity give you a lot of clothes most of the times for free. But you have to tell her you don't want pink hearts in your underwear, and of course, you hate the elephant thong (Of course you don't use it...never...that shit is gay...yeah...)
>But nothing is perfect, there's always someone who have to make your life hard. And that someone is Twilight fucking sparkle
Jesus, that pony is fucking crazy, first it was kinda cute, you know? like...like a very clingy puppy, but with time she goes from Crazy-cute to HOLY FUCKING SHIT IS THAT MY BLOOD?!
>You are Pony Anon, just some stallion we grabbed off the street
>You have just been grabbed off the street by somepony
>And now they're groping around your crotch
>"Help me get him on his back, I can't see them."
>You are suddenly flipped over
>You try to look at your assailants to see what's going on but the light is too bright and you close your eyes
>"I still don't see them, go get a razor and shaving cream"
>Oh no
>It's just like your daddy warned you about
>You don't want to lose your beautiful coat
"Please, don't take my coat"
>You struggle in vain as you are still held down by strong arms
>You start to cry
>"Shh, no tears now, only twisting"
>You feel something moist being put on your netherregions
>"Now let's get this fur off so we can have a closer look"
>You freeze up, not wanting your donger sliced up
>"Bloody hell, this bugger hasn't got any either!"
>"Just toss him back then, we'll try another one"
>And that is how you ended up with a bare underside

keep going, tell us where the crazy alicorn touched you
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S-she touched from my hershey Highway to the Danger Zone.

>month one: She was asking a lot of questions about humans and planet earth, you answer the best you can but you're no scientist or historian, you're just the average dude who like to fart when no one is around and laugh at bad movies, so you give her everything you know (that wasn't much) but that only raises more questions, and, of course you don't have the answers, obviously that bother twalot sporkle, but, there's nothing you can do.
>The princess give you a house near the market of ponyville, you don't have an idea how much it cost...but something is for sure, it was expensive, the house is big, well...big in terms of a pony
>month two: Twilight try to befriend you, you were flattered when she tries to make a day in your honor, some shit called ''Anon proud day'', obviously that didn't like it to the rest of ponyville so you persuade twilight to drop the idea, she cry. A lot, fuck, you never see someone cry like that, so in the end you spend the night in her house trying to calm her.
>month three: The brother of twilight come to your house to talk, he was friendly and a bit informal, like you were part of his family. After the presentation you make some tea for both
''WOW, this is some bomb ass tea anon''
Sorry if i'm rude, but...why are you in my house?
''Oh, right, sorry. I wanted to talk with you, my sister tells me a lot stories about you''
well...i'm flattered
''C'mon Anon, you are like my family, no need of being formal''
Okay...so...what stories Twilight tell you?
''Trust me, she can't stop talking about you and humans, i never see her so happy''
Good to know
''Oh horseapples, i have to go anon, Twilight is waiting for me''
Sure, have a nice day
''Thanks, you too...OH, before i go...please, don't hurt my sister or you are going to have a bad time''
>After that, he just dissapears into the crowd of colourful ponies
So, right away, this is kind of boring to read. I am not sure, maybe this is just a prologue or something, but this reads more like a history lesson than a story. Is English your first language? Some of your grammar is pretty distracting. Perhaps you just don't care, but it really does detract from the story. Also, this has far too many memes. Lower the quantity. Still, keep up. I'm interested in where this is going.
I'm sure hair oils are a thing, I just think that they'd have a very different purpose than as massage lubricant.

I only read a little bit of the first post and skimmed the rest of it, and I'm seeing grammar issues, and >>25322654 shows a lack of formatting and understanding of the greentext format.

I'm with >>25322762 in wondering what your first language is. If it's actually english, or you consider yourself fluent enough in english to write and speak it conversationally at least, then I'd encourage you to try reading what you wrote out loud, not just in your head. It's honestly pretty amazing how that can show how what you think is a normal sentence might actually be terribly awkward.

I'm not claiming to have read all of your story, so don't take this as a real review, take this as some general advice in how to write well. If nothing else, you've made some greentext for the thread, and that's worth acknowledging.
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oh god yes, i'll be waiting for the rest
>1) story-anon is autistic edgelord who is has no emotional response to being transported to alt world.
>"oh looks like i can never return home to my friends and family. i cant control it, thus i decide not to feel feelings"
>2) No-one can construct a proper sentence worth SHIT. Fuck's sake, does anybody here understand what a run-on sentence is?
>(also one or two big names but they're drowning in an ocean of shit)
>That's it
>That's all that's in this thread
>Stop being faggots and git gud.
Who are you quoting?
>i cant control it, thus i decide not to feel feelings
Anon has other outlets for his sorrow.
It bothers me when new arrival Anon's are like that too.
who, edgelord or grammar?
grammar is zzzzzzzzzz, but i fucked up. I'm pretty sure english wasnt his first language
edgelord is the roll the dice guy

fucking, I know right? who decides that this is an interesting read? more often than not, the edgelord story leaks into the grammar-retard category too.
>Day traumitised in equestria the land of ponies who are also colourful and magic and cute and like really fucking durable did you see that one pony rainbow dash she can crash through walls and shit and only ever gets hurt once ever because the plot demeanded her to be in hospital like twice oh wait i guess it's not just once, nevermind that
>yuo r anon and you were torn from your loving family and its horrible youl never c dem agen
>yu crie a bunch cus its sad and you miss tehm and will neverr se your son bob speak his first words and your wife who is totaly hot and sexy and is a princes of japan and has a cool sword and is a samurai cyborg will go hungry and thats bad
>you cry more with tears and sobbing and more teras and snot comes out because its really serous crying and then you punch a wall
>"Stop punching mah walls you faggot"
>Its the evil redneck pony who brought you here with her evil horse magic and will never understand the pure love you had that she took away because she is a terrible pony who you hate
>Discord shoots you and you die like a bitch

Keep going, you'll get better by practicing.
Has anyone actually made edgy RGRE green?
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Why would you ever make anything edgy?
I will find you and i will fuck you
naw just curious

i mean, how long has this thread been goin? over a year? or more?

some guy mustve did it
>Has anyone actually made edgy RGRE green?
Amoeba did. In the second and/or third thread.

Possibly the worst unironic story we've ever had.
>Early days of the thread.
Holy fuck, that was some nostalgia right there.
We still haven't had that mail order bride Anon story finished
> be anon
>be mail order bride
>get sent back cause your a dude
>brides are typically women
What happened to hit man anon in horseland who watched over tiara?
>Be Anon 43 the hitman.
>Used to murder people because murdering is kind of your thing.
>Your new job is much less difficult, but you miss the challenge.
>These days you only have to give a good slap to your targets.
>And since these ponies aren't exactly the cleverest of people, you have the perfect alibi.
>You're a male.
>Apparently these ponies can't imagine a guy actually using violence.
>So as long as your donger is showing, they don't believe what they're seeing and just think they're hallucinating.
>Good thing is these ponies will pay you just as much to smack someone as you used to get for killing them.
>Tonight you are going after a troublemaker named "Diamond Tiara", who wears a tiara.
>Ah, that must be her now.
>Wearing tiara, check.
>At the primary school, check.
>Pony she's talking to is giving the signal, just need to let them clear the area and it's go time.

>You're princess Celestia.
>Anonymous just smacked you.
>Kinky little bugger that alien is.
>Two can play at that game.
>>I'm sure hair oils are a thing, I just think that they'd have a very different purpose than as massage lubricant.
Yeah, not like fur needs lubrication for massage.

At the same time, oils in massage are used not for lubrication, but to care for the skin. Minos still have skin under their fur, skin they wouldn't want to dry and flake.

Furries are still cancer though, just not because of massage oils
>meme arrows, how do they work?
Lurk moar, faggot
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This is already kind of being done on the monster girl thread.
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recaptcha was milk [\spoiler]
I fucking lost it right there. Sides gone forever.
It could be a water massage. Lubrication and heat without the mess.
As long as we're gonna have minoTits, I would like to request more minoAbs.
Is there a pastebin?
>>You're princess Celestia.
>>Anonymous just smacked you.
>>Kinky little bugger that alien is.
>>Two can play at that game.

holyshit this is perfect
“That’s like cartoons isn’t it?”
>”Well it’s kind o-ooOH!”
>Ha, you forgot she’s a first timer This oil stuff is always a shock.
“Didn’t hurt you there did I?”
>”No, it’s just very…”
>Her tail flicks and her head bobs slightly indicating a nod.
“Yeah, only comes with the express service, this oil is special in that it allows me to give a deep tissue massage without gunking up your coat… too much” you mumble the last bit.
>She seems to be too busy melting under your ministrations to pay attention.
“It also has a real neat effect, the harder I press or the faster I go, the hotter the oil gets. It’s made off in the dragon lands.”
>It’s also expensive as fuck, but you also learned that day about the importance of having a good grip on the bottle when your hands are oily.
>You rake your fingers down her back leaving a trail of heat behind on her skin, she takes in a sharp breath and arcs her back slightly as the sensation fades.
“So just let me know if there’s anywhere you want me to really dig into okay Maybelle?”
>She tries to speak, but only soft moans escape her lips, she musters a weak nod of her head as you continue to work.
>Yeah, you’re that fucking good.
>Now that she’s aware of how this works you really get down to business.
>You start at her shoulders, pressing gently into the fur with just your fingers, you run your fingers back and forth over her shoulders, feeling out the knots.
>The oil causes some of her light brown fur to spike up as you work, but thankfully most of the fur on a mino is pretty short, so the express service dip she’ll take in the hot springs after should wash it all out.
>Once you’ve got an idea of where the knots are you set to work kneading, pressing, and heating until you loosen them up.
>She squirms under you as you first set to work on the big knots, small gasps escape her lips as you gradually break them up, and finally she goes back to melting when you do a final rub to make sure they’re all gone.
>The process repeats until you could pinch any section of her shoulders and nab relaxed muscle.
>You work your way down her back, the middle of it didn’t have very many knots, but you nabbed the few that you could feel.
>Her lower back was where you really needed to get to work.
>She goes through the same motions, albeit arcing her back every now and again when you get to a big knot.
>You work your way down to the base of her lower back, approaching the darker fur line just above her rump.
>Some of the pudge seems to be located here as the fur and skin shifts around more in this region rather than the firmness you’re used to feeling on your more fit clients.
>It’s actually pretty nice working on a pudgy tauress, good view at least, her ass is at just the perfect balance of size to shape...
>Maybelle’s knees come together, and you can her her mewling quietly under her breath, it almost sounds like mooing.
>Your thumbs glide easily over her darker brown fur, the oil matts the fur a little, darkening it even further in streaks where you had touched.
>You dig deep and pull the muscles apart with your thumbs eliciting a throaty moan from Maybelle and a gentle slap on your arm.
>You look to your left and find her tail is fully raised and brushing against your arm right now.
>Another glance back down reveals your thumbs spreading her supple cheeks apart.
>You got distracted and just let your hands trail along, you thought you were still at her lower back.
>”S-sorry about uh…”
>She’s embarrassed about her tail, lots of tauresses that have come through have had the same issue even if you didn’t absentmindedly fondle their ass.
>You’ve found that the best way to handle it is not to address it at all, treat it like its a normal thing, because frankly it is assgrabbing or no.
>Getting your head back on straight, you casually work your way up to her lower back again and work out the few small knots you left behind.
>She’s tense at first, but can’t help but relax again as the heat targets her body in a less sensual way.
>Her tail doesn’t lower however, the fluffy tip of it tickles your arm now and again, but it’s nothing new.
>Satisfied with her entire back, you dab on a few more drops of oil and run your hands down her back, starting at her shoulders and going all the way down to her dark fur line.
>She arcs her back just slightly as you pass through the middle, must be a ticklish spot, and gasps as you remove your hands and let the heat trail along behind you.
>You ask Maybelle to raise her arms up near her head, she takes a moment to register what you said but does so shortly after.
>You continue wiping down her body, letting the oil seep down through the light coat and get onto the skin beneath.
>As you reach the outer edges of her back, you curl your fingers around her side, pressing in lightly as your hands trail along her soft curves.
>There’s hardly ever any reason to target the sides, but it’s always a good idea to check.
>The middle of your hand starts just under her armpits and begins trailing down slowly.
>Your fingertips brush against the plentiful chest tuft that reaches back that far.
>You don’t trail down very far before meeting some firmness, Maybelle’s tail whacks you again and she tenses up as you brush past that mound of flesh.
>Never make any sudden motions to imply surprise about a client’s body.
>You continue trailing as usual, your hands trace along the slight curve of her belly pudge before coming to a stop at her hips.
>The Tauress is still tense from that brushing, her breathing is very labored and her tail won’t stop twitching.
>That’s not good, you gotta get her mind off of this.
>Normally you’re not supposed to talk during a session, but she’s new so you can probably get away with it.
“Alright, I think I’m all done on your back. Is there anywhere you’d like me to work on next?” you ask, hoping to take her mind off of it.
>Though it’s not like yours isn’t.
>What you brushed up against, under her tuft, for your fingers to have touched her breasts they must be huge!
>Actually makes sense why her lower back was so knotted up, having to support all that chest weight.
>This cow’s gotta be pretty pent up for her to be so riled from a little side boob touching.
>The tauress looks back at you over her shoulder, she squints at first from her lack of glasses you guess, but you notice that her eyes look completely glazed over and her tongue is lolling out of her mouth just slightly.
>To say that the sight before you, a tauress whose face is completely flushed with arousal, a tail raised high enough for you to see everything does nothing for you is a complete lie, but you are still a professional and as such you can not g-
>Alright, Curds and Whey explicitly told you not to give it up for first timers, and they gave you a ton of shit for doing it before.
>Her jaw moves slightly, as though she’s trying to speak but can’t say the words through the aroused fog in her mind.

This is taking me longer than I thought, more later tonight after work, for sure this time. In the mean time, what do you guys think? WIll Maybelle finally have the lips to ask for what she wants, or will she still leave the decision up to Anon? Basically, milk the cow now or more massaging before milk
I think she could stand to be teased until she's half crazy, don't you?
Makes things so much more satisfying.
Massage the cow.
o-oh my

such a sensual story
Do it now
the cow is already massaged

now you must extract ze milk
Do more testing on Herr muscles
Yes! It's in the drive. Anon vs hoodlum or something.
Maybe she needs some help with her glutes
So crazy, she can't watch her animoos anymore, she starts thinking about him all the time, her tulpa is starting to fade away.
There was a reason your bosses told you to not give it up on the first timers.
>minotauress' are becoming as cute as mares now
No, mares will always be top cute, cow is just familiar and therefore sexy.
They have better genitals, sure, but at this point, mares are like the vanilla.
>"Isn't that suit from last year's fall collection? Anon, if you need money for a new wardrobe, you need only ask. Me and the boys can pool our pumpkin spice funds to buy you some of this year's hottest clothing!"
What writefag was the one that wrote the one where Caramel is interested in Anon for his anatomically incorrect hentai manga and every pony is bisexual?
That was an interesting premise. There aren't nearly enough stallions in RGRE stories, and there could be alot to weite of the interactions between RGR stallions and Anon.
Hell, I want to find the pastes with rape-whistle/kazoo Caramel, and not just the one with Basic Anon.I want them all.
Did you searched Desustorage? There might not be a Pastebin if it wasn't writen by a regular.
Was already on it. I'd bin them for storage reasons, but it's not mine to claim ownership of.
Hello, those were mine actually. Basic Anon, Rape Whistle Caramel, and the one where Caramel and Mac want to go get drinks during estrus season and Anon bluebeans all the mares. It goes back to the 'not writing from my usual station and laziness' that I don't have the first two saved (I've got the blue bean one).

tl;dr If you could link me to the first two Caramel ones so I can save them that'd be great.

Also going to write more Maybelle after dinner, hopefully I can get a decent bit out.
>Caramel and Mac want to go get drinks during estrus season and Anon bluebeans all the mares
Anon bluebeans all the mares: http://desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24705180/#24792752

Anon and Caramel get beer w/ a rape whistle:
Oops, forgot something.
>(I've got the bluebean one)
That's the first one, ya dingus. Basic Anon is saved as a guest paste in the google doc.
>Day You Fucked Up in Equestria
>You are Anon and you are in a great deal of considerable pain.
>You're laying on something hard, and lots of sharp things are digging into your back.
>"My coffee table! What did you-Anon! Oh Celestia, are you okay!?"
>Aw fuck, that thing was made of glass. Like, one-hundred percent made of glass. It was very post-modern, and Rarity fell in love with it the moment she saw it.
>It was advertised that it was charmed to hold almost any weight, but you guess magic never factored in your fat ass.
>You just HAD to try to be the big-dickingest manly man in front of Rarity and try and carry one of her bigass spools of cloth.
>You groan and try to sit up, but all you end up doing is grinding more broken glass into your back.
>"Oh, I just KNEW I never should have let you carry my cloth spools!"
>How were you supposed to know they weighed something like ninety fucking pounds?
>"I don't know HOW you managed to convince me to let you help..."
>It took you nearly five months working as Rarity's assistance to convince her to let you do some heavy lifting, and you weren't about to throw that away. As soon as you picked the spool up, you KNEW you had to move it, no matter the cost.
>"You poor colt, let me help you up."
>Suddenly, pain explodes across your back.
>Rarity gasps, and you fall back down to the floor with a wet SMACK.
>You are Anon and you are in an even GREATER deal of considerable pain.
>You've got tunnel vision and everything.
>>"Hey, Rarity, what was that noi-Anon!"
>Oh hey it's Twilight.
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>Day You Fucked Up in Equestria

>You are Anon and you are in a great deal of considerable pain.
>You're laying on something hard, and lots of sharp things are digging into your back.
>"My coffee table! What did you-Anon! Oh Celestia, are you okay!?"
>Aw fuck, that thing was made of glass. Like, one-hundred percent made of glass. It was very post-modern, and Rarity fell in love with it the moment she saw it.
>It was advertised that it was charmed to hold almost any weight, but you guess magic never factored in your fat ass.
>You just HAD to try to be the big-dickingest manly man in front of Rarity and try and carry one of her bigass spools of cloth.
>You groan and try to sit up, but all you end up doing is grinding more broken glass into your back.
>"Oh, I just KNEW I never should have let you carry my cloth spools!"
>How were you supposed to know they weighed something like eighty fucking pounds?
>"I don't know HOW you managed to convince me. Now look what happened!"
>Once you started lifting it, you knew that you couldn't back down. No matter what.
>"Oh, you poor colt, let me help you up."
>It took you nearly five months working as Rarity's assistance to convince her to let you do some heavy lifting, and you weren't about to throw that away.
>Suddenly, pain explodes across your back.
>Rarity gasps, and you fall back down to the floor with a wet SMACK.
>You are Anon and you are in an even GREATER deal of considerable pain.
>You've got tunnel vision and everything.
>>"Hey, Rarity, what was that noi-Anon!"
>Oh hey it's Twilight.
thought the first one didnt go through.
>There aren't nearly enough stallions in RGRE stories, and there could be alot to write of the interactions between RGR stallions and Anon.
I really hope the guys will be the next fad here, as long as they aren't just basic bitches except horses, small and with dicks.
>>"What did you do to him?!"
>"I-I-nothing! He was carrying something and he fell onto my table!"
>>"Well why did you let him do that?!"
>"He kept bugging me to help! I gave him the biggest spool of cloth I had to lift, and he was supposed to give up when it was too heavy for him!"
>Oh, that bitch.
>>"You said you would take care of him! For Celestia's sake, Rarity, he's just a colt!"
>Rarity just started sputtering.
>Noticing the wet warmth on your back, you moan pitifully to get their attention.
>>"Go get a doctor, right now!"
>"B-but darling-"
>>"Just go!"
>You hear the sounds of Rarity sprinting out the door.
>A few seconds later, Twilight's hot breath tickles your ear.
>>"It's going to be okay, Anon, help is on the way. Y-you keep being br-brave for me, okay?"
>Aw jeez, she's starting to cry.
>>"I'll keep you safe from n-now on, okay? You w-won't have to see Rarity ever again."
>You would object that this entire incident was your own fault, but right now breathing hurts like a MOTHERFUCKER.
>>"Oooh, Anon, I KNEW I never sh-should have let you out of my library.... If I had just kept my eye on you, you wouldn't be here, bleeding all over the ground...."
>Yeesh. You remember your first few days here in Equestria. You were half an inch away from having to deal with yandere-Twilight, before Rarity offered you a job/living quarters.
>>"But it's going to be okay, sweetie..."
>Wha-she's stroking your head, now.
>You're both flattered and a bit uneasy.
>>"I'll treat you like a mare should treat a stallion. I won't work you to death like RARITY."
>She hissed out her friend's name like venom.
>>"I'll make sure Rarity won't ever go near you again."
>Her grip on your head tightens noticeably.
>>"I promise."

And that's the story of how Anon was captured and fiercely protected by Twilight.
Story Idea:

Anon in Equestria, day spaghetti.
Walking home one day to discover stallion crying in the corner.
He's having trouble with his herd. They just added another stallion, whose making a power play and trying to push him out of the center.
Being the horsefucker Anon is, he offers sanctum.
Horsebando falls in love with Anon for his alluring mareliness and assertive demeanor.
Then the old abusing herd shows up, and shit gets weird.
Herd politicking and feels ensue.

Note: Am durnk, but wants to writefag someday.
Million bit question: is Anon gay or just being a bro? I know you said horsefucker, but this word has lost all meaning to me.
That's the joke. Anon is straight, and completely clueless. Horsebando is madly in luv.
thank god it was just Twiggles and not some stallion.

gj man, and wear that name with pride
I demand MORE!

Please. If you don't mind. This seems like it would make for a wonderful story.
Damnit Frosty, you need to namefag when you do that. I thought you were kill... but you never left us, did you?
Man, I can't get over the word horsebando. I just can't stop reading horsebrando and imagining a tiny pony Dio Brando.

Does that make Anon The World?
I don't know. My roommate keeps saying we're gonna have a JoJo marathon so I can finally understand what the fuck these memes are, but it keeps getting put off.
Fuck you, upload it anyway.
Many writefags only don't pastebin stuff because they're lazy or think they're shit (the former in my case)
Uploading someone's writing to pastebin for others to read is a huge fucking compliment.
It means you liked the thing they made enough to share it.

Keep going

>That shit just happened
>Now a bunch of the magic ponies are neighing at you
>"Neigh neigh neigh"
>It's hard enough to keep these horses outside at the best of times, but now there's a whole fucking herd of them bothering you
>And that one that's been hanging out in your garage in exchange for horse coffee is scare of them
>This will not stand
>You need your coffee damnit, and no gang of magic bully horses is going to get in the way of that
>You reach for the hose reel with one hand and the tap with the other
>You're about to teach some bad ponies some fucking manners
>You pet your coffee bro buddy horse
>"Shhh, don't be scared. They're gone now."
I was hoping there would be more to this. Ah well.

Also, I'd like to mention that I actually liked Applejack's accent. It had the most important thing - it actually used the right words and pronunciations for a southerny accent. For some reason that I'll never understand, half the time when people write Applejack, they write the accent so that she sounds Scottish or something.
>She looks like she so desperately wants to say something, but can’t seem to clear her mind maybe.
>Damn you work ethic.
“Just lay your head back down and relax Maybelle, I’ll just move on to the usual trouble spots I come across okay?”
>She does as you ask, putting her head back down while raising her rump slightly before putting that down as well.
>You bring your little stool over to the back of the table and sit yourself down by her hooves.
>She takes a peek over at you, probably from all the commotion you’re causing while you set up.
>You shoot her a smile as you lay out your files.
>Maybelle squints her eyes and immediately turns away after.
>Considering this is the same as popping a boner during a session you can’t blame her for being so embarrassed.
>Your job however is to put your client in a state of relaxation and satisfaction.
>So even though talking is usually frowned upon during a session, you think it might help here.
>You cup one of her cloven hooves in your hands, she almost yanks it back from you but relaxes the leg shortly after.
“So, you mentioned Animo before right?”
>You let the question linger in the air as you press her claws together to determine which one is longer.
>”A-actually it’s called animoo.”
>You smile to yourself, who doesn’t like correcting someone now and again?
“Ah right, animoo. I’m not too familiar with it… I guess you can tell huh?” you follow your question with a light chuckle.
>Maybelle returns with a timid giggle.
“But uh, it’s cartoons right? Like from another country?”
>The light brown tauress puts her hands down on the table and hoists her upper half to look back at you.
>Her hoof slips out of your grip as you were filing down the longer claw and you can't help but take particular note of the jiggle in her tuft as you watch her rise from her laying position.
>”No! U-uh, well I mean they are animated… b-but they’re not “cartoons” like on a calves’ show or anything.”
>You scoot your stool up to be able to continue working on her hoof, seems like your plan to make her feel more comfortable is working.
“Interesting, so is it more like an adult thing then?”
>A blush spreads across her face, “N-no those are usually called hentails.”
>Alrighty, looks like that hoof is filed down nice and even, now for the next on-
>”O-oh gosh, why am I even telling you about that?” she mumbles to herself, "I’m sorry, I j-just don’t talk to minotaurs very well…”
>You glance up from her second hoof and see the flustered look on her face.
“Wha- oh uh, really? I didn’t even notice… you seemed to be talking just fine to me. Maybe you can’t talk to taurs very well but you can talk to me just fine right?”
>A small smile spreads on her face, “R-right…”
>Now then back to hooficuring.
>”S-So my favorite animoo is Boycow Jazz. It has one of the coolest main characters…”
>You let her explain why this Barb character is a total badrump as you finish up on her other hoof.
>Maybelle seems to be completely at ease again after the hooficure, and you’re really interested in watching this Boycow show now.
>You set your stool back where it was and walk back over to the end of the table.
>You take one of her hooves in your hands again and press your thumb into the heel.
>She cuts herself off with a sharp inhale.
“Alright, I think we’re ready to get back to it don’t you think? I’m gonna work my way up from your hooves here, so just relax and enjoy yourself Maybelle.”
>”U-up? she muses to herself as she turns back to lay down again.
>Your eyes trail up her darker brown half, between her dew claws and hock there shouldn’t be much to work, from there up however…
>You’ve got your work cut out for you because this cow is nice and thick.
>Maybelle’s brown thighs rub gently against each other, a sign that she’s holding them that way rather than relaxing her legs.
>Unfortunately she can’t do much about her tail that is rising slightly at the base.
>You can see a little glisten come from the raised part of her tail, her arousal must be coating her inner thighs by now.
>And past that are her lovely lady lumps, you can still see the darker brown streaks made of oiled fur from when you let your mind wander and your hands work on autopilot.
>Something you intend to rectify very soon… b-because it’s your job...
>Oh shit, your job!
>You rub and roll the space between her heels and dew claws, hearing her squeak with each pop and then sigh from the release of pressure she didn’t realize was there.
>With that done, you oil up a little and get to working your way up to her hocks, she squirms slightly as you cares the muscles in her lower legs, found another ticklish spot, but she still seems relatively calm.
>It’s only once your hands start to work on her thigh that she begins to tense up again.
>You place a hand on her lower back and drag it lazily all around while your other hand slowly works along her outer thigh.
>She sighs deeply from the two point stimulation.
>You walk over to the other side and do the same thing to the other leg, and again she seems to be in a relaxed state.
>Now with those regions done, its time to work the more inner parts.
>A nice helping of oil is good way to get started, you follow by placing your hands just inside her thigh down by her hock.
>Maybelle lets out a small moan which is followed by gradually more labored breaths as you knead and caress her firm ample brown thighs.
>Slowly, you work your way higher and higher up her leg.
>The heat coming from her gets more intense the higher you work, as does the slickness.
>This is one really worked up tauress, probably would’ve been good for her to visit a brothel before coming here.
>Not that you’re not flattered or anything, but you are responsible for cleaning up your room afterwards.
>Your thoughts scatter when your hands hit a fairly dense bundle of knots just above the middle of her thigh.
>Gonna need to really dig in to get this one.

And that's all I could muster up after work. I'll try to get some more out tomorrow morning before work, I hope the massage route is still going alright.

Thanks Anon(s) I'll add them to my bin in the morning. You're a cool guy.

This was actually kind of the direction I was working towards with all those Caramel shorts. Mostly just feeling out a horsebando type of character I was happy with before getting to it. That one may be in the pipeline for later.

Sorry Anon, most times I forgot because it wasn't my usual place of posting and if I realized it too late I was too lazy to fix it. I was busier than usual until recently but no I never left, usually lurking if I wasn't trying to drop some quick green that popped into my head. Should be more active for the time being.
Scottish Applejack? Oh man, an AU where the Apple family hails from pony-Scotland.
"Anown! Yeh cannae lift all tha' weiht, yu'll pool a moosle!"
There might be more later, idk yet. Glad you liked it, friend.

Can do, cockatoo. Sleepy times right now, though.
I was going to go for "teat-twisting anon" but AnalplugAnon worked out just fine.
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>"Anown! Yeh cannae lift all tha' weiht, yu'll pool a moosle!"
I need it.
Sure is horsefucker in here.
I love it [\spoiler]
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I suddenly want to hear a celtic Fluttershy.
You started this by writing about analplugs, so anal plug you will be.
I started out with extreme Fluttershy fisting, and I will carry it like a banner
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Why would you fist fluttershy

Youd probably break her shes a very fragile pone
Dunno, tookit like a champ https://desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24915638/#24984538
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Hey, people, are you mostly sleeping or smth?

or teat-twistin'?
>spoonin with horse waifus
>still reflexively twisting dem titties
>girl can't catch a break no mo

is this what you're looking for?
This, basically.
She wrestles bears ffs she's not a frail bimbo she's a fatherbucking beastmistress or some shit.
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>Day beep.... beep.... beep.... in Equestria

>You are Anon and you are slowly regaining consciousness.
>"...ctor, I thi.... king up!"
>Awareness returns to you with all the speed and grace of molasses on a summer Sunday.
>Your drug-addled brain eventually tells you that you're in a hospital.
>You can tell because of the hospital bed you're lying on;
>The hospital gown you're wearing;
>The nearby beeps from hospital machines;
>And the fact that you remember being carried away to the hospital and prepared for surgery.
>Good job, brain. Ten-oudda-ten, hundred percent, game of the year.
>>"Anon, can you hear me? Do you understand me?"
>Aww, it's a doctor pony! And she's got a widdle labcoat and eye-gwasses!
>You've never felt more eloquent. This drug-induced coma is doing wonders for your charisma.
>Jesus, it feels like they dosed you up with horse tranq.....
>Doctor-pony says doctor things, but you are too busy trying not to throw up to really listen.
>But it's okay. You can hear another voice talking too, so you guess the doctor was talking to her instead.
>A sniffle from your right brings to your attention the presence of a pony by your side.
>Hecks and dang, it's Twilight! She's got your hand if her hooves and she looks like she was just told that you've got horsecancer.

>She looks awful.
>"Th-they couldn't g-get your back to he-heal with magic."
>Oh, she sounds so distraught. You give her your best smile.
>"Th-they had to c-cut your back open to get all of the gl-glass out... They say it had b-been their first instance of non-magical invasive suh-surgery in nearly a decade..."
>She crawls onto your bed and buries her face into your armpit, using her magic to wrap your arm around her.
>Oh gosh she's trembling.
>"There was so mu-huch blood! They t-told me over and over that you cuh-couldn't feel an-anything, but it was so hard to wa-ha-ha-hatch!"
>And now she's crying. You pull her onto your chest and wrap her in a hug. Yandere behaviour or not, >Twilight's still your friend.
>You stay like this for a few minutes; she really needs a hug.
>Maybe Twilight's not so bad aftera-
>And like a flash, Twilight's returned to her chair.
>Just in time for the door to open and a few of your other friends to come in.
>Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy.
How have I not seen this?

>They're all looking down at you, and you can tell they were very worried.
>Except for Rainbow Dash.
>The first thing that catches her attention is Twilight trying to wipe away all evidence of her crying.
>RD: "...Twilight, were you seriously crying just now?"
>TS: "N-no, of course not! Anon's just fine, why would I be upset?"
>Rainbow Dash is taking WAY too much pleasure out of ribbing Twilight.
>RD: "Haha, whatever, Twilight. Don't be such a bucking filly-fooler."
>AJ: "Rainbow Dash, that's enough. T'aint nothin' wrong wit' cryin' when yer friend is in the hospital."
>TS: "Y-yeah, Dash, I'm confident enough in my maresculinity that I can express how distraught I felt when the doctors told me that healing magic doesn't work on Anon and they had to DIG though his FLESH with KNIVES to get everything out."
>Woah, Twilight sure worked up a real head full of steam there.
>Rainbow Dash's blue face is starting to take on a shade of green. She looks over at you and you can see a mixture of shock, remorse, and concern.
>RD: "I-I didn't know. Oh gosh, Anon, are you alright now?"
>She looks like she wants to get closer to you, but after a glance at Twilight, stays where she is.
"I told you, humans are durable. It takes more than a little bit of broken glass to keep one of us down."
>Sure is easy to say that when you aren't bleeding to death on the floor of Rarity's boutique.
>Pinkie Pie's been awfully quiet this whole time.
>Where did she ge-Oh.
>She's on the bed next to you and she's eating your hospital lunch.
>Whatever, the green J-ello probably used pulverized hay as a gelatinizing agent, and you're pretty sure that would either give you the runs, or poison you.
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>Speaking of ponies not contributing to the conversation...
"Hey guys, where's Rarity?"
>Everyone looks a little bit uncomfortable now.
>Applejack opens her mouth to speak, but Twilight gets there first.
>TS: "Oh, silly me! I guess I forgot to invite her."
>She tries to giggle dismissively, but it sounds more like she's cackling madly.
>And it looks like Applejack's trying to say something again.
>AJ: "Anawn.... Ah know this might no' be the best time ter be askin' this.... and ah know this might make you feel uncomfortable, but the mares and ah really, REALLY, need to know...."
>Twilight's crawled back onto your bed and is nuzzling your face.
>She's muttering words of comfort in your ear.
>AJ: "Did yuh really fall onto the table, or did....."
>She glances to the door, looking nervous, and her voice drops to a whisper.
>AJ: "...or did somep0ny.... contribute to yer accident?"
>You don't really know what she's trying to get at. You're like twice the size of these ponies. How could they hurt you?
"What do you mean, Applejack? The only other pony there was..... Rarity...."
>Oh shit now you know what they mean. Why would they think that she'd try and hurt you?
>The look of realization on your face must have been enough for Applejack. She's nodding to herself and the look in her eyes promises pain.
>You have to stop this.
"W-wait, Rarity didn't do this to me. It was an accident, really!"
>TS: "So you're saying that you just HAPPENED to fall just as you passed a glass table...."
>TS: "Which just HAPPENS to be enchanted to hold almost any weight...."
>Was that a crack about your weight?
>TS: "And out of ALL the possible directions you could have fallen, you just HAPPEN to fall in the direction of the glass table."
>You're trying to think of something to say, but these accusations are coming too hot and fast for your drug-addled brain to really process.
>RD: "Wait wait wait. Are you implying that Rarity.... HURT.... Anon? A colt?"
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Applejack sighs from beside you. She sounds.... defeated.
>AJ: "Rainbow, sometimes you think you know a pony, an' then they turn'round an' y'all find out they were a mannicore in a pony's clothin'."
>AJ: "Ah used to have an aunt down in Appleloosa, and when we went to visit she was the kahndest, most generous ol' mare y'all ever done seen."
>AJ: "Then we found out from the neighbors that she would hit mah uncle 'cause of the smallest thangs. Dinner wasn't made on time... the house wasn't clean.... she was drunk..."
>AJ: "Dashie, looks can be deceivin'. It's always the last pony y'all expect it to be."
>Wow. You had no idea that Applejack was carrying that weight around. No wonder she's one of the sweetest ponies you know; she doesn't want to make anypony feel the same way her aunt made her uncle feel.

>AJ: "Anon, nunnuh this is yer fault. You have no reason to feel 'shamed over this. Please, jus' tell us: Is Rarity hurtin' you?"
>Oh god what do you even say? This is so fucked up. Ponyland was supposed to be happy and sunshine and shit!
>You're saved having to answer by Rarity herself bursting in the room.
>R: "Goodness me! I had to hear from one of my customers that the five of you had gone to visit Anonymous in the hospital. I was so worried! How could you not tell me?"

Time to get to class. I'll finish this chapter up later tonight.
>I'll finish this chapter up later tonight.

You did that on purpose!

Well, I hope this whole situation turns out okay for Rarity, instead of her being, like, exploded "by accident." Is Anon gonna have to protect a bitch up in here?
Oh noes! Anon needs to tell them that they shouldnt accuse Rara since his accounting of it is foggy due to horse drugs, Seriously they need to know this or shits gonna get fugged.
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I want Anon to [b]calmly[/b] recall, moment for moment, how it happened, how Rara made him do stupid shit because she's a bitch, how he actually tripped because Rara was freaking out and bumped into his legs, every moment of pain when she and Twiggles handled him. I bet Twiggity also cried over his wounds too, how fucking stupid horse tables and medicine are and shit.

"But otherwise everything is fine and I'll be able to continue working as soon as wounds start healing."

their faces picrelated
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Anon better defend Rarara.

Even if she was a cunt trying to get rid of him by nearly breaking his back with the heaviest shit she could find.
>Anon tells how it is, that it was an accident and shit.
>Sliiiighlty twisting everything so that Squiggletail is now a nice mare and all
>Rarity doesn't get fucked up
>Rara being a smart mare realizes just how deep she is in shit
>tries to sneakily get him employed elsewhere
>Anon isn't buying it. Also, if she fires Anon now nobody will believe it was so accidental
>He knows
>Keeps the job.
>Somewhere along the line teat-twisting ensues
>100% Bump
>implying this wasn't just the point where I couldn't decide what to write next
I bet it was spike all along, that guy that no one remembers
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I'm going to sleep, Anons. Don't let the ponut hole disappear while I'm gone.
>The trend of shrinking ponut holes has been continuing over centuries
>Ponut holes are getting dangerously small
>Some foals are being born without them at all now, and explode in a mess of marshmallow gore after a few days of age
>Since Anon is seen by the ponies as an archetypical "Wise father" figure, they go to him for advice
>He hands them a dildo and gives them a knowing wink
"Stick it in your pooper"
>"Wait? What? That doesn't make sense Ano-"
We'll never let that happen, Anon.
>"Anon your scarring me."
>"P-p-please n-no!"
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>And shit she did
>All over the floor
"How do you feel?"
>"My anus... Is back to a healthy size!"
"Glad to hear little one."
>"Thanks Anon you always know just what to do."
Boycow Jazz. Immediately thought of cowboy bebop.

Spent 5 minutes thinking why I thought it was cowboy bepob until I remembered bebop is a music and realized that boycow is cowboy backwards.
Meth. Not even once, kids
FYI Anon, really loving this story, please continue it. Also Pastebin??
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>Day Tomorrow in Equestria.

>You are Anon and this isn't your house.
>Rarity left not long after checking up on you. Said that she didn't want to leave Sweetie Belle alone in the boutique.
>After that, you and your five pony friends had a long discussion.
>You did your best to explain to Twilight and her friends what had happened.
>You said that you were trying to prove a point by lifting heavy shit for Rarity.
>After giving you a steady income and a place to sleep, you weren't about to throw Rarity to the dogs.
>Why were they so eager to believe the worst of their friend, anyway?
>At least they agreed not to confront Rarity about it.
>You wanted to be mad about their behaviour, but then before they left, they hugged you one-by-one and told you that you were always welcome to go to them if you ever have any more "accidents".
>Stupid, caring ponies....

>You were discharged the next morning, and left in Twilight's care.
>The doctors didn't know how you would react to non-magical recovery, so they wanted somepony to keep an eye on you for a bit.
>AJ looked like she wanted to volunteer to aid in your recovery, but Twilight wasn't letting ANYPONY else near those release forms.
>And so here you are, laying on a couch in Golden Oaks Library.

>"I hope you don't mind too much, Anon, but I took the liberty of bringing your things into my spare bedroom."
>Excuse you?
>Yes, actually, you DO mind.
>You were just staying here for like a week. All you needed were about two pairs of undies, a couple of shirts, and a pair of pants.
>You've lived alone for far too long.
>Flipping your underwear inside out to keep them "fresh" used to be a joke for you.
>The look on your face must have been enough, because Twilight begins to panic and apologise.
>"D-dont give me that look, Anon! It isn't like I went through your clothes or anything!" b-baka!
fucking purpl weeb book hurs

>Wait, what?
>That... had never actually crossed your mind.
>Aww, look at her. She's all flustered now.
>"I mean, I wouldn't even know what half of your clothes were even FOR. I'm not some creeper who stalks the colt's underwear section."
>Well this conversation has taken a strange turn.
>Smile and nod, Anon.
>Smile and nod.
"It's fine, Twilight. Don't worry about it, okay? I'll go through it later."
>An awkward silence fills the room.
>"So.... are you hungry?"
>You bet your biscuits you were! Pinkie Pie was merciless with your hospital meals.
"I could eat, yeah."
>Twilight is up like a shot before you even finish your sentence.
>"I'll get you something!"
>Something turned out to be Celesti-os.
>The fuck are Celesti-os anyway?
>You normally wouldn't really mind eating a bowl full of Celestia's chocolate frosted ponut, but Twilight insisted on feeding you.
>Which, again, wouldn't be so bad under normal circumstances. Hell, you would think that it was really CUTE of Twilight to be doing this, but.....
>"Open wide for the royal chariot! Vrooooom...!"
>Fucking Twilight.
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>"I spent all night looking over our research notes to see what you could eat, Anon."
>Oh jeez.
>You remember this.
>Your first few days in horseland were WEIRD.
>"And maybe.... since the doctor said you should be resting.... I could ask you a few more questions about humans?"
>This mare right here.
>Well, she IS letting you stay in her house for free.
>And you still haven't forgotten what happened right after you woke up in the hospital.
>Fuck it.
"Sure thing, Twilight. Go ahead."
>The questions she asked and the answers you've given could FILL a STORY all by themselves.
>You skip over to the tail-end of your Q&A session, where Twilight's been discussing humans and their magic (or lack-thereof) for the last 45 minutes.
>"Anon..... I worry about you."
>Aww. That's sweet of her.
"Twilight, this is the first time I hurt myself since I arrived here."
>Twilight scrunches up her face when you say that. She STILL isn't convinced that Rarity had nothing to do with your accident.
>"Anon, a unicorn would have instinctively used her magic to catch herself before she fell. She wouldn't even have to think about it."
>"Even an earth pony's magic would kick in and prevent any sort of serious injury. How else do you think Applejack kicks trees every day without shattering her hooves?"
>You've never actually thought about that before.
>You had mentally shrugged and said 'magic', but now you know..... that it really WAS magic.
>"If I hadn't been there when you got hurt, you probably would have bled to death."

>Oh no, she's upset again.
>You hate to see her cry.
>Wordlessly, you hold open your arms, and Twilight crawls onto your lap and wraps her hooves around your neck.
>"Oh Celestia, l-look at me. You're the one wuh-who's injured, and I'm crying like a little cuh-colt."
>"Sorry you have to see this, Ah-anon. I'm supposed to be the strong one h-here."
>You pat her back and don't say anything.
>"I can't let you get hurt any more, Anon. You're t-too precious."
>"You're the only one of your kind, and I can't risk you dying!"
>And here you almost thought she cared about you.
>You sigh.
"Twilight, I can take care of myself. This accident was a one-time thing."
>Twilight stops crying and stares into your eyes. They still shine with tears, but now she looks angry instead of sad.
>"It's NEVER a one-time thing, Anon!"
>Oh wow why are we suddenly shouting?
>"Weren't you listening to Applejack?!"
>Not this shit again.
>Twilight closes her eyes and breathes hard, trying to calm herself down.
>"Anon, I know that you're a strong independant stallion who don't need no mare."
>Why is she so quiet all of the sudden? Is she so angry that she looped back around to calm?
>Has she achieved Rage Nirvana?
>"And I know you like to do things on your own., but sometimes you just CAN'T. Didn't you hear me when I was talking about how magic protects ponies? Anon, you don't HAVE that protection. Even if you ARE bigger than we are, you're still more vulnerable than a foal."
>fite me irl
>"What kind of mare would I be if I just let that happen?"
>She's stroking your head again.
>Oh god you're getting creepy yandere flashbacks
>"Anon, this is your home now."
>You don't even know how to appropriately respond to something like that.

That's all for tonight.
(bt dubs, how does one go about being being added to that there list at the top of the thread? im 12 and what is this)
you have to press your asshole against your computer screen and say. "Smooch smooch."
You cunt, this used to be a $1000 laptop.
Oh God, Twilight is going full yandere, isn't she?
Absolutely. But, less stabby, because we're dealing with adorable marshmallow horses.
>fite me irl

I got a good chukle mate
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Why is Twilight the yandere one?

I get that she's the obsessive compulsive toy horse, but that has only been shown to apply to her responsibilities as student of Celestia, a librarian and a princess.

If anyone, it should be Anon who is yandere, considering that humans are the monogamous, violent jealous species and ponies are the polygamous, meek herding ones.
A normal human being is too yandere for ponies.

>People have literally killed themselves and/or others because of a breakup or catching their partner cheating on them.
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>A normal human being is too yandere for ponies.
I could see it.

>Ponies are used to herding
>Anon has a waifu
>Waifu has snuggle wuzzle times with a friend.
>Anon finds out
>Is super jelly and pissed.
>Goes to the friend and threatens to beat her black and blue.
>Ponies are shocked and appaled good sir.
>Discord meanwhile is in the back giving four thumps up, "FINALLY someone gets it!"
and then anon and discord became good drinking buddies
All of my Yes
>Aw fuck, that thing was made of glass. Like, one-hundred percent made of glass. It was very post-modern, and Rarity fell in love with it the moment she saw it.
Glass is basically quartz without the crystal structure keeping it ordered. Plus whatever impurities they put into it to lower the melting point and use to add colour to it.

So, it's a bit more crystal related than you might have thought.

A bit of a moot point now that it's been smashed, I suppose.
>A normal human being is too yandere for ponies.
This has potential.
>no emotional response to being transported to alt world
>oh looks like i can never return home to my friends and family. i cant control it, thus i decide not to feel feelings
I think people just want to avoid writing an unnecessary emotional moment in a story that's supposed to be quick or just fun/funny, or has another focus entirely.
10 Bump
>Anon kicks a pony in the jaw because the said pony did something remotely lewd with Anon's waifu.
>Ponies dont understand why Anon's so livid.
>Neither does his waifu.
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Prompt: HAES in Equestria.

Who is getting fatter and why?
>Thunderlane makes a comment about Dash giving the best blow jobs.
>Top cunt replies in the affirmative.
>Anon drop kicks Thunderlane.
>Anon why?!
>Dash why?!
>Cue heartfelt feels about realtionships and how they work.
>Anon convinces Dash to try monogamy.
>Anon is soon drowning in Horsepussy from constant horny Dash.
>Anon is totally fine with this
>Dash is not so fine with this
>Ponies herd as a instinctive trait to insure complete spread of good genetics and it feels wrong to Dash that she only gets the HMDOr something I dont know maybe Dash is just bi as hell and wants some candy vag
>Dash talks it over with Anon
>Anon doesn't know about that, he was raised a good christian boyIgnoring Pastor Petes lil pat and chat sessions...
>Agrees to trying it with one other pony.
>Pony up to whoever is writing it.
or this

>anon tries to convince the midget horses that Rara is innocent
>they dont believe him so he goes out to find out WHY the glass table broke
>even though it was suppose to be enchanted to withstand extreme pressure
>science mode activated
>anon buys an exact replica of the table he fell in and proceeds to use the tried and true method of SCIENCE!
>try and break it again
>but this time he has protection
>a thick padding of wool and leather, no glass is going through this
>twiggles and crew some how get a wiff of the situation and try to dissuade him from further doing any more of it

not sure what to do with this, not really a writefag
>Ponk puts one and one together to get sexytimes
>Decides that Anon is one of those weird ponies that likes being hurt
>Takes it upon herself to teach him how to enjoy his kinks safely
>Now Anon has to deal with a randy dominatrix ponk
Are you healthy?
"Anon, what a coincidence bumping into you again. That makes this the-"
>NO! Don't let him know you've been counting all of your encounters.
"Uh... hi!"
>The alien jumps a little in his seat before turning around and giving you the same heartstopping smile that first made you fall for him.
>"Hello Miss Twilight" he chirps.
>Miss Twilight! He's already comfortable enough with you to skip using the 'princess' title.
>That's great! Things couldn't have aligned more perfectly!
>You realize that you've just been awkwardly smiling at him in slience for the last few moments.
"So! Uh... wh-what are you up to?"
>Anonymous holds up a spoon with milk trickling down it, "Just eating cereal" he replies.
>He spins back around in his seat and resumes his meal.
>You rub the back of your head with a hoof and begin walking away.
>No wait Twilight, should you sit next to him?
>He didn't offer, so you might be invading his personal space.
>But at the same time he didn't say goodbye, so maybe he's just testing to see if you can be alpha material?
>His posture seems relaxed, but...
>You just have go up and ask him out...
>Why do stallions always have to play so hard to ge-
>The door to sugarcube corner opens and several gasps escape the patrons.
>You look towards the door to see what all the commotion is about and your jaw drops at the sight.
>An unfamiliar mare walks.
>Her forehooves are orange, while her rearhooves are yellow, while the rest of her coat is brown, except for her face which is white.
>She's wearing a dark red beret that conceals almost all of her mane but you can still make out small curls of purple and pink.
>She's sporting some obviously fake eyelashes, and given how small her muzzle is, you can guess it's because this filly isn't old enough to grow any of her own yet.
>She wobbles through the lobby, greeting everypony she passes, "Hello fellow mares, nice day to be doing marely things like uh... p-paying for groceries right?"
>To your complete surprise the patrons all nod in agreement and soon resume what they were doing before.
>What?! That-
"Pinkie?! Tell me you're seeing this right?"
>The party pony glances up from her notepad, "Huh? Oh! Hello new friend! Welcome to Sugarcube corner! I love your cutie mark!"
>You look down to see it's just the word "mare" written in paint.
>Still wet paint! The e is streaking!
>They chatter back and forth for a moment, "So, can I get you anything?"
>The filly's eyes widen for a second before she tucks her head into the fake body and looks to be whispering something to the other two fillies that must be helping her.
"Pinkie!" you whisper, her neck stretches all the way over to you while her body remains in place.
>"What's up my fellow mare?" she asks with a snicker, "I just love that phrase! It's so... adult!"
"Pinkie, please tell me you're seeing this too?"
>She has to be playing along, Pinkie would never hurt anypony's feelings, that's wh she's do-
>"Seeing the coolest, smoothest, mareliest mare this side of Equestria come into my shop? You betcha I'm seeing it!"
>Face? Meet hoof.
"She is literally just three fillies in a fake body!"
>Pinkie giggles, "I know right?! She's so energetic and youthful! Look at the way she's talking to Anon about all the important "mare stuff" she does"
>Wait what?!
>You whip back around to see the two, talking.
>Pinkie's head returns to its place and she resumes talking to all three of them.
>You casually speedwalk over to all three of them.
>"Uh, can I pay for it with this?"
>"The "mare" drops two pieces of gum and a kazoo on the table.
>"Wowie zowie! That there's a vintage "Whammie" intsrument!" Pinkie exclaims, "You must be pretty successful to be dropping these babies down on just some ice cream" Pinkie says, nudging the mare in the side and shooting a wink towards Anon.
>You can hear another voice say "ouch" under the body.
>Another glance around reveals that nopony heard it, in fact, they're looking on at the fillies with interest.
>Rumblings of "A mare that's got it togethers" and "Why can't I have an alpha like her."
>Despite all of this, Anonymous hasn't looked up from his breakfast.
>You breathe a sigh of relief, of course Anon wouldn't be fooled by such a terrible display.
>"So are you ready to go?" the filly asks, levitating her ice cream with her magic.
>Anonymous finishes his milk and sets down the bowl, he turns to the filly and nods happily.
"Wait, you're serious?!"
>The filly looks to you, "Oh hello fellow mare, uh, princess fellow mare... I'm Swee- uh, Sweater Adultmare" she greets and then with a small nudge from the top filly and muffled "ouch", the orange forehoof is extended towards you to shake.
>"Go on Twilight, you're a princess, no need to be so intimidated by her maturity" Pinkie whispers from behind, followed by a light shove that makes you extend a hoof out to meet hers.
>Anon hops down from his stool and smiles at you, "Bye Miss Twilight." he says, petting your head gently
>"Yeah, goodbye fellow mare, keep up the adulting" Sweater calls back. as she and Anon walk out of the store, his arm resting comfortably on her shoulder.
>Your heart melts from his smile followed by your brain melting down as you watch the two of them leave.
>Today was going to be the day.
>You were going to ask him out!

>Be Anon.
>Skipping along with your new pony friend Sweater who asked if you wanted to go do grown up stuff with her.
>You don't really know what that means, but since you don't have to go to school anymore since coming here you've been able to do whatever you want.
"Hey, what kind of stuff are we going to go do?"
>"Uh... do you wanna skip rocks by the pond?"
"Do I?!" you exclaim.
>You like your new friend already.
>...Is someone yelling?
Horribly sick, can't muster up the focus on writing more minotits without my head aching like hell. Still wanted to put something out for the thread, and so this is the result. If some parts don't make sense it's because thinking too hard is not possible for me right now, I'll be back with more Maybelle when I'm better.
>Anon realizes he actually disrupts magic on touch
>Twiggles doesn't believe
>Anon touches the stove at Golden Oaks Library and breaks the fireproofing
Yusss, more kidanon and oblivious ponies!
Feel better soon, Frosty. Don't put writing before your recovery, okay?
Oh crap, it was a Kidanon; that was a good reveal. I'd like more one off like this please. More Twi getting bean blocked by mystery mare.
oh shit
this is great
Fuck my titties, two assignments scheduled during midterm week. I won't be writing any updates til monday, friends.
I like Kidanon stuff, so I'm looking forward to this one. The idea that no one knows he's a kid is funny.
fund it
I like it
Somebody doesnt like the treebrary I see.
Have you been watching Bojack, Frosty?
Ah shit. Do what you have to, man. Poni poni poni may be fun, but it doesn't pay bills. Good luck.
I'd like to see one where he hits a growth spurt and the pones have to deal with the fact that they're all basically pedophiles.