Everything you love is dead Edition
>We discuss Current, Finished and Upcoming CYOAs.
>Give advice on CYOAs
List of stories: http://anonpone.pineapplecomputing.com/
Read this advice first:
>What day is best?
>What time is best?
>What genre are you interested in?
>What if I cannot into art?
>What race would you play?
Remember: There is still hope
Last thread: >>25320323
Reminder that Halley is weirdly lewd for her age
So according to the archive we've had 25 threads active in the last month, 4 cancelled quests, 17 completed quests and 14 quests that aren't completed, cancelled, or active in the past month.
>little did everyone know, about 2 clicks out rolled the biggest mare of celestia''s armored forces
>Treads excited giggles could be heard over the rumble of the steel beast's powerful engines
"I hope we aren't late for the sortie!" She exclaims popping open the top hatch
>After all, at a meeting of the heaviest troops of celestia's finest, everybody knows no pony can beat a fucking tank.
Reminder that when you fuck up drawing a satyr it's your civic duty to take it behind the barn and end it with a tear and the thunder of a shotgun shell, knowing full well that since the satyr did nothing wrong it's going to a better place.
More relevant than the one Emerald's in.
>Sundance just looks down at the cardboard tank as it keeps hitting her shins, trying to run her over.
>Steel is standing next to the tank.
>"Get out of your 'tank' Treads"
>Sundance picks up the cardboard tank and flips it over, unceremoniously dumping Treads and a pony plush almost as big as her onto the ground.
>The little mare immediately jumps up.
"Hey! Why did you-"
>"We need to talk about all this tank stuff Treads"
"No! Me n' Little Star are going to be the best armor crew in the whole world! We don't need to be a big armoured... meanie!"
>Treads grabs 'Little Star' and runs off, undoubtably to fashion another 'tank'.
>Steel just sighs as he watches her disappear.
>"That filly. I swear"
>Sundance grunts in agreement.
Emerald spends his time educating the other kids about reading and safe sex.
When he's not doing that he discuses horsecocks and marehoods with Deep Blue.
I also just realized we never got any Coltquest chibi pones. Fug.
Urban Survival: >>25300004
>I don't know how to run a quest for a week so I'll just have them navigate a maze
Reminder that CYOAs are for pure canon species snd not for autistic races like satyrs and bat ponies
fug, Chubbypon and the Temple With a Weird Name and Dandy Quest are next on my list of shit to catch up on
Perhaps Treads obsession could be redirected towards something productive.
Like, maybe instead of a rotating church on the top, we could convince her to imagine a large drill on the front of her machine. This drill could perhaps be used to bore into the center of the earth
because that's fucking cool!purely for scientific purposes of course.
Also should I post everytime I run or one time per thread is enough?
I finally decided how I will plan my quest: Dia.
1 are the rooms, with text describing their interior. 2 are the obvious actions in the room (Check X). 3 are small details (Items and events). 4 are progression related details, like "Password is used in room X".
And since they are in diferent layers, I can just toggle them and be left with only the rooms and their connections.
It feels good to finally nail down how you plan things.
Does anyone remember me? I am that guy who was planning this one quest were you'd get the main six+Spike+Celestia and Luna in the party, and the idea refuses to leave my head.
I never mentioned that I plan to have two Lunas, too, even if one of them is rather suicidal.
And that each character has only three lifes.
And for fuck sake if the spoilers decide not to work again I'll kill mootwo even if he seems like a pretty chill guy.
Other than HP and AC most stats are handled by "weapons" Of course this includes innate weapons like hooves. The best way to increase stats is to get better weapons. I'm using a D&D like system and basically Mango currently only adds her Proficiency Bonus (or BaB if you're thinking in 3e terms) to her Fangs or Hooves. You'll need to get training in a weapon type to add your BaB to it. For example if Mango attacks with her fangs she gets a d20 +2 against the AC of the enemy.
Where as her shotgun is just the d20. Some weapons are hard to use and thus subtract your Proficiency if you're untrained. This includes pistols, and maybe some larger or unbalanced melee weapons.
Mango can increase her proficiency bonus, but
only in certain ways that I'd rather leave for the players to find.
This is pretty standard D&D 5e, I'm just hiding the mechanics most of the time. I'll let you know if a failure comes out of left field, like that tube trap, but almost all posts have had at least one die roll on average.
I've got a google doc with a lot of such info.
It's kinda meant for QM use at the moment.
I think I'm going to make a 'player version' that only includes stuff you guys should know.
And of course, this is simply how I run the quest's combat and checks, I have no control over Vampanon nor do I want to. I think the variety of QM style is an interesting part of the quest I wouldn't want to mess with.
What is this?
A QUEST FOR ANTS?!
How do we expect to get a lot of players if they cant even see the MC?
>Implying I'll reveal VITAL QUEST INFORMATION.
I am autistic about spoilers. I am the kind of guy who will get mad if you mention the name of a character that hasn't appeared.
And that's just a diagram I made in Dia, you sillies.
Yeah, I never got to be relevant really, and it was months ago, when the thread was new. I was just curious about that detail.
I was a pixel art guy, if it helps. I don't really know if I'll go with images or no images tho, since I am slow as fuck and rather bad at it. Pic related.
Also I got a captcha for ants. Oh irony.
Why does that sounds like a good idea?
Because you expect cute art (once you zoom in on it somehow), undecipherable borkbork swedish babble from breezies and some silly little adventure in it?
Wouldnt we all...
>I never mentioned that I plan to have two Lunas, too, even if one of them is rather suicidal.
>And that each character has only three lifes.
Sounds like spoilery, quest vital information right there
The three lifes thing will be said in the OP because I am not that much of an asshole, and the "Clones" posibility is stated pretty plainly near the start.
But seriously tho, the story is kind of a really trippy sci-fi anime, the characters themselves don't understand shit at the start and have to investigate. Hell, the players themselves are weird voices in the characters' heads that they were told not to follow.
>I was a pixel art guy, if it helps
Get on my lvl
I hope I could be assed to.
But for now Discord is my greatest artistic achivement. Sadly.
Forgot pic, like a god damn retard
And yes, Im making the spritesheets for a mare outfit model, even when the OP never asked for it
Yes. Complete the spritesheets and send it to OP (or the purple Alicorn)
Currently working on this one
>I unironically don't like horse parts
Nah, it's like a horn, only hot and throbbing.
What is the single most evil thing a GM can do to it's players?
For me it'd be
>They enter a room
>Room is empty for a huge pedestal in the center, with a minuscule red button in it's top
>No clue is given of what it does
It'd be a
hexenkind of hell.
Too obvious, the players are bracing themselves for catastrophe.
What I'd do is
have the waifu kidnapped, then make them slog through a long whole bunch of bullshit to get them back. After that I'd wait a while, then have the waifu betray them. Later on, they discover the waifu was replaced by a changeling. A long quest to catch up to the changeling follows. At the end of it they discover where the changeling left their actual waifu. When they get there they find them curled up in the corner of a cell. After beating themselves bloody on the door they had starved to death some time ago.
>What is the single most evil thing a GM can do to it's players?
favorite character goes out in a blaze of glory
said character's sacrifice is made meaningless by the end of the cyoa.
Trying to remember why we made treads so distant from everyone
İt seems to have a lot of effect on everything and making some decisions difficult
Guess thats what makes her interesting
>Treads tears off another piece of tape as her new tank comes to life before her.
>She brushed the dirt off her hoof before hesitating and rubbing it into her hair.
>You were supposed to get dirty when working on stuff after all.
"Isn't that right Little Star?"
>The large plush, now with a wrench weighing it down, doesn't reply but Treads nods as if he did and keeps working away.
>The wrench slowly starts to pull the plush down, eventually causing it to topple over and knocking a Neighponese action figure, over.
>Treads doesn't take notice of 'Kimono's distress as she focuses on her work, propping another cardboard box on top of the larger one.
>She'd show them that she didn't need to be big, her armor would be better than all of theirs.
Quick question, say I had a CYOA that got cancelled due to my incompetence. And say I wrote an ending to it and just finished illustrating this ending. And lets also say that I am not starting another thread for this dead quest. Should I post it here or just save it for myself?
>Steel turns away and pulls Treads away with his magic.
>He ignores the strangled cry as Treads watches 'Little Star' get tossed on the fire behind him.
>"It's ok Treads, we're helping you."
>You sneak back towards the spire to find the source of the screaming. Really, at this point any distraction form the thought of this town never ending is a welcome one. Your attempt to stay as low key as possible is a failure however, as one of the red clouds that have been haunting you since you left the arena appears opaque in front of you.
You had your chance and you have proven to me that not only are you unfit for redemption, but you are also useless to me.
"Wha-What are you talking about?"
I gave you a short break from your eternal punishment in exchange for your services, you where also given the opportunity for redemption as part of our agreement, but I see now that no matter how many chances you are given you will never be anything more than an unclean soul.
>You draw your sword as the entity begins to stretch it's tendrils toward you. You begin to think a back on your life, all of the ponies you've killed, the deal you made with you former owner to make a spectacle out of killing more ponies in the arena. You begin to ask yourself if you enjoyed it. You choose not to answer yourself, out of fear that this might just be. No, you can't be dead, you're a survivor... right?
"This isn't fair! I didn't know! You can't hold me responsible for something I don't even remember!"
>The world begins to tear apart around you. Slowly everything but you and this entity begins to be consumed by darkness. A feeling of dread begins to wash over you. Have you been lying to yourself?
It's funny, The pony that was given special privileges questions me about fairness.
"I can change, Just let me try again! I can do it now that I know! I'm adaptable, I'm a survivor!
>You slash your sword at the entities tendrils, but instead of cutting them, the entity grabs your sword and rips it from your grasp. In desperation you try to run but the entity wraps it's tendrils around your neck and fore-hooves and strips your shield from you.
"Please, I'm not a bad pony. I can prove it to you! I'm I'm..."
>Your pleas are cut short as some tendrils tear through your shirt and begin to tear into your flesh with their serrated tips. The tendrils holding your forelegs begin to pull to the side you feel a growing pain as your shoulders begin to extend further than they were ever meant to. You shut your eyes and begin to pull all of your strength.
>You let out a grunt as you try to pull your hooves back down, but your earth-pony strength is no match for this entity's other worldly strength. Your shoulders pop out of pace and you feel the flesh under both of your shoulder's armpits begin to tear. The tendrils digging into your belly shoot through your back you begin to dig a wider and wider hole. You've lungs begin to fill with blood which your promptly cough up.
>You wait for the sweet release of death, but it never comes. You are already dead, and this is what you have to show for it. You begin to remember everything, all of the suffering that you had endured and you know that there is no escape. Maybe you will be given another chance someday but for now, there is nothing you can do...
>You move over to the earth pony stallion who is desperately cramming his belonging into a saddlebag.
>You end up stepping on a stuffed doll
>A small squeak escapes its plush body
"And we DO NOT leave our plushies out on the ground! Plushies are only out during cuddle hours and for NAPPIES"
>The stallion looks genuinely hurt.
>Instead of tossing the toy like you had planned, you hand it back tenderly to the earth stallion.
Entrapment was the original quest. It's a pretty short read, I'd recommend it.
It was a spoopy spinoff thing that failed. Both threads are still on the archive.
Short things, won't take too long to catch up on.
You've got to admit that her personality is perfect for writing a sad alt. Other MCs going insane would take different routes. Like an omnicidal Chalk Dust.
If Bath says he likes a character you should immediately decide you don't like the character.
>Writing all the notes for the players to find
>Plan all the scripted scenes that may or may not happen
>Play with character relationships in a thousand situations
>Try to plan for the unexpected
Did you really have to do this? You admitted that the quest fell apart at the seams. It is documented that some of the critical decisions that were made was based on your mistakes and not the actual player input. Do you honestly believe that your players and your character deserve this ending?
>This is stupid
The trick it's not trying to worry about making it deep or meaningful or epic. Just have fun and prepare for >>25344862 , because it's the most fun part of it all. Personal experience on this one:
>Make this silly stick figures about Discord fucking around
>He peeks down in the Everfree
>There is a bear, a tree, and a obsidian pilar sorrounded by impalled skulls
>The bear turns into Discord's new friend, Sir Bearinghton
>It all spirals down into me turning it into a feelsy quest to make up for fucking up with Fluttershy and Celestia that I was honestly surprised at
That's the magic. Seeing it just happen, and realize that the audience is the actors is the direcors is the spectators is the weird dude that looks at me creepily while eating popcorn very slowly.
She is legitimately the least lucky character I've ever written.
I do like Nadine, but the more I'm around her the worse off she is. It's probably best I don't write her into anything else.
If things she thinks are firmly under her control keep getting away I could see her beginning to think that anything that's too important to let get away should die. The Pitch situation by itself has probably increased her paranoia tenfold.
All this talk of box tank Treads is making me desire a cameo in my quest.
And steelie would never bring a tear to a filly's eye if he can help it. He would likely play along and be utterly defeated by the cardboard leviathan Man is it wrong I want to work on this more than battle sprites
Giving us (what I'm going to assume) the bad end when the mistakes that lead to it weren't player decisions seems like a pretty shitty move. I would have preferred if you redid the quest (hopefully with fewer mistakes) and took it to completion.
>AU Fruit Flank
His sisters caught him trying to leave at the start of the adventure. He's now permanently ties to his sister's bed, with a diet of mare pussy, ponut, and lovingly made home cooked meals.
All the while slipping into a psychotic delusion that he's on an adventure with friends he met that decided to join him for arbitrary reasons trying to stop the apocalypse.
Don't be silly. Every night before he goes to bed his sister tells him a story about a half changeling hero who's out saving the world with a group of plucky females. Every night she gets a little further into the story and every night Fruit Loop has a dream.
But I like that his sisters were never actually real. He's been mad the entire time, hallucinating some things.
It will only take "meeting the family" for his perception to be absolutely shattered and possibly become a danger to the team.
Blitz never really left the lighthouse.
The sirens took hold of his mind, made him think he was leaving with his team, but in reality, the sirens drove him away from the rest.
Eve's screaming was really her.
Now he's simply curled up in some corner in the lighthouse hallucinating the rest of his adventures.
No. Nadine died to a mistake, is suffering for likely eternity due to another mistake, and the quest is over. There will be no more mistakes leading to things getting likely worse.
>post quality based mechanics
>Fruity's past is just him lying to himself
>Continuing adventure after getting to the mainland.
>Get close to home, so they decide to stop there.
>It's some broken, abandoned building all alone.
>Fruit greets all his sisters with glee, ready to tell them all about his adventures so far.
>The others see him talking to nothing but air and making motions like he's touching someone.
>They suddenly become very worried about who they've been with for the past week.
Same link as always. The alphabetized and revised list was set back because of the hdd failure.
I believe the pastebin has maybe 90 of the 100 items so far.
>Blitz used to hold little Gar in his wings and read him bedtime stories.
>When he left to go adventuring, Gar felt betrayed and began lashing out at other ponies.
>But deep in his subconscious he still associates the feel of feathers with being safe and loved
This. They do seem to have similar naming conventions though though. Like all of Pinkie's family has rock names, though she does not, however she has 'Pie' in it to show she still is close to them even if she doesn't really share their common interest. Same thing with the Apple family though a bit more blatant. Sparkle and Shining are synonymous too even though the second part of their name isn't the same.
Blitz' real name is most likely 'Blizzard Wind' which fits with 'Iceon'
It's how his dad lost his hoof. Figured it would be fitting for the cause of all of his suffering in life to have the same name.
Rarity's parents are named Hondo Flanks and Cookie Crumbles, so there's definitely no hard and fast naming rule at play here.
Although it's implied that at least one of Gars parents is an Iceon. Maybe thats where the pure unicorn lineage thing comes from despite having a pegasus brother? unicorns born in the family inherit the Iceon name and all Iceon's going back were unicorns.
from different QMs where both QMs give a subtle nod to the connection? none that i can think of.
Obviously reference quests exist and are generally one-sided.
and from the same QM there can be connections between quests, like entrapment and 11-54 occurring in the same universe.
Space Bug and Space Horse are.
Other than that, Hijack has the whole 'magic dumping ground' thing.
Unique has characters from alternate Equestrias, so that would be fairly easy.
Threshold's premise would likely allow for crossings.
>stopped having fun
alright, time to see if I can make up for lost time.
Judge away, I'm playing AoE2 in 2015 and you can't stop me.
Can you run a CYOA if you can't draw at all?
I'd like to think so.
In particular, I've written a couple of fanfics that were fairly popular and fairly well-received, and people especially liked the worldbuilding I did. So I've had the idea to run a CYOA in that world, where people get to poke around it a bit and discover some of the details that don't pertain to epic-quest, defeat-the-dark-lord scenarios.
No, there's no need to have read them for some of the things I've got planned. I mean, people who have read them will know a little bit more going in, but I'd definitely make it non-reader friendly.
Well I enjoyed reading that, so I have faith in your writing ability at least.
Just remember there's more to a cyoa then that.
You need a half decent schedule and an understanding of good prompts.
You also need to be ready for your players to make unexpected decisions.
DESU your taste in video games is such shit I'm not sure I even want to follow your quest anymore
like if you were playing a meme game like Undertale or MGS that would be one thing but the only memes about BF or CoD is that they're shit
Because they are
All the shit that goes down in Hijack that could possibly make you drop it, nah, you'll stick through that.
No, the straw that broke the camel's back is finding out that Hijacker plays CoD.
I don't care if you're baiting or not, this is hilarious.
Yeah, I know. Part of the reason I'm not entirely sure I'll be doing this is because I don't want to flake out on anyone. Sometimes I don't update the things I need to update.
However, I've tried for a while to finish every story I start. I don't think I'd give up one I was telling.
I've also written based on prompts I've asked for in the MLP General several times, so I've learned how to generate ideas on the fly.
I've found that to be less of an issue with Quests than with Fimfiction or prompt writing. Quests have a much higher level of engagement for the writer/artist. While they may eventually burn out/quit, the day to day writing/updating is much less of an issue.
Thats a different type of prompts.
Writing good prompts is the ability to end your posts with actionable and open ended player dialogue or decisions.
a good prompt should not have a single obvious solution because then its just insulting.
a good prompt also needs to end on an edge where the players have a clear idea on what can be done or needs to be done.
Now here's the test to see if you can recognize a bad prompt, consider this post:
Now explain what's wrong with it.
It's not open-ended enough, I suppose. Based on past events, it seems likely that there's no real choice there for readers, since what's going to happen is very similar to something that's already happened. It doesn't really give the readers/questers much ability to choose.
Sure, just don't try to force anything, it'll only damage the cyoa. Some run once or twice a week, and that's generally fine. Consistent gaps of more than a week tend to leave your players wondering what they were doing because they've forgotten the details.
And as for prompts, I actually meant your prompts. Every update you make has to end with one. It's an opening for the players to input decisions and dialogue.
I was thinking of setting it in between Dangerous Business and BTWOE, because there are a few locations from Dangerous Business that I'd like to leave the option of exploring but get wiped out in BTWOE.
Obviously I'll leave things fairly open-ended, since I'd love for the questers to surprise me with their choices and have the ending grow from that. However, I thought I might start with a pony from one of Equestria's universities receiving special permission to go to a country neighboring Equestria that was until recently closed off to Equestrian citizens. Maybe make it a professor pony striving to make a meaningful anthropological/archaeological discovery in this strange new land. Then see what happens with the readers.
Not the guy you're replying to, but that's close. The problem as I'd phrase it is that there's no choice involved because the MC already did the action and is waiting on the result. The only reasonable reply to this post is 'wait until whatever happens happens'.
This would be less of an issue if it were a two-part post instead of waiting for more prompts. The next post gives players things they can do.
Yes, a further problem is that it ends with the players waiting for something to happen. Did touching the sphere actually work? We didn't actually get that information so do we just respond that we wait? A failed prompt is a prompt where the players only real option is to wait for the next one.
Now good prompts? thats harder to find, and great prompts will guide the players just by the power of your writing ability.
Now everyone has there own opinion on which quests are good examples of proper prompt usage, but i like mazes&medusas.
consider this setpiece:
in this scene we're looking for our friends who have gone ahead on what would be a relatively easy job, we get there and our friends are nowhere to be found. As players we could assume that our friends never made it, that something happened to them or that the shopkeeper is lying. There's no concrete evidence for any of that but as players we have faith in our party and the way the scene is written over several prompts is mildly suspicious. Things like the shopkeeper being scarred but needing heroes to handle her 'easy' problem. Things like her wanting us to go into the basement instead of the attic. The QM wants us to be suspicious of her, but he never outright gives us proof that we should be, our suspicion grows organically and it just feels really good for the players when it all comes together.
a few weeks back an anon made a few posts on prompts that are worth reading imo:
>mfw somebody links to or reposts one of my old comments
Literally the best feeling.
His latest quest is far better than his previous attempts.
The biggest problem is that he's taking things far too fast, and there's no descriptive language or fluff that could set the scene or develop the characters or setting.
I get the feeling that Coltshan hasn't actually read many other quests, so he only has a flimsy understanding of how they're supposed to function. They're interactive stories, not video games.
At the very least, you've got to give him credit for his tenacity. He seems to be actually making an effort to improve.
>I wish I had saved those posts from months ago that discussed the good and the bad in railroading since that's another topic thats always worth discussing with new QMs.
I'd be interested in reading this. Do you remember the gist of those posts?
The gist was that any cyoa that attempts to tell a somewhat structured story, railroading is necessary but getting caught railroading is the biggest sin possible.
Basically you have to walk a fine line between directing your players while still maintaining the illusion of agency.
Taking examples from video games: Bad railroading would be something like an invisible wall that halts progress. It's something where your actions as a player are immiedtaley and forcibly rejected and you're left with no option but to turn back, it's a huge immersion breaking experience that will sour how you feel about the game.
Now a good example of railroading in videogames would be dark souls level design, things like using enemy and loot placement as well as lighting and environmental effects to subtly suggest the proper route to the player so that the player feels like they chose the correct route when really all they did was pick up on subtle queues.
For example, when you exit blight town into the valley of drakes the very first thing you see is a bit of loot directly across the valley. you are presented with three options, enter the valley, cross the valley and enter it from the other side or cross it and collect the loot. Naturally a player is drawn to the loot first and in going to the loot the player 'finds' the shortcut back to firelink shrine. The loots only purpose was to mark the door because 99% of people would be drawn to it organically. basically you're baiting a hook and letting the player choose to take it rather than forcing it on them.
Now in CYOAs a good example of this is 11-54, where many areas present multiple different routes to the players but there are subtle bits that draw your curiosity first and help pull the player along the path of the plot. Things like lighting, damage to the area, objects visible in the distance, a cracked open door, signage, etc all draw the attention of the player and influence their decisions.
A bad example of railroading is where character agency is not encouraged towards a plot point but rather removed so that something is allowed to happen. a common example is when characters suddenly behave stupid or down right do not react to things that the players, if given the choice, would have reacted to.
Examples of this are in Hijack, where we encountered an opponent who could rot and rust everything around him, we created and took cover in an cage of brambles and then our character noticed the smell of something rotting but the players were never given the ability to respond to that alarming change in events. Instead the character just ignored the smell and that resulted in our partner character getting caught by the rot demon. The scene basically was just a setup for the QM to forcibly transform our partner and make a joke. There was no choice or other poossibility, just the path laid infront of us. like a railroad.
So the big demon of railroading is that we accept that it probably should be used but also that it is extremely damaging when used too overtly. You have to hide your railroading and have your players choose to board the train and believe that they have other routes, so to speak.
The best way to do this is to keep your pre-existing content as modular as possible and to be willing to abandon material that just doesn't make sense any more. Even if you love a scene and think it will be great, it probably won't be worth it if you have to forcibly railroad your characters into it. Be willing to throw away material and keep an eye open for how your cut content can be recycled in new ways.
Also, if for some reason you need a forced event [sometimes battles are unwinnable], don't remove or limit your players. It's easy to think that if all routes must end in failure to advance the plot then you might as well get it over with. Don't. Give your players the opportunity to struggle, let them bite on a red herring, etc. If a scene is predetermined don't be too rigid with it.
An example of being too rigid would be the cyoa Delta P where our submarine was basically doomed to sink and the QM rushed it along. The problem being that the players had suggested some reasonable plans to 'fight back' against the event and all the QM had to do was acknowledge those plans and let the players have their chance to fight the unwinnable battle if thats what they wanted. Instead the QM just blatantly ignored suggestions and steamrolled the event through.
Now after all that, there's a whole nother angle to railroading which amounts to QM's deciding upon a course of action not because it serves some overarching design goal of progressing the game but because it's just something that they want.
The infamous example of this is in Cutie Clash where the QM killed off a character basically because she just wanted to see what would happen.
another more understandable example of this was in royal guard survival where it is generally believed that a character was targeted and removed from our squad for game balance reasons. We had rolled to see if that character would be hurt, we won that roll so he wasn't. He was then forcibly hurt beyond our control and we rolled for his treatment with a 60% failure chance. We then got him immediate medical attention by actively surrendering to the force we had been hiding from for months but the character never returned. That character had a high value charisma stat that was arguably overpowered, but still his removal was forced on us rather than an emergent result of our gameplay.
>tfw realizing I'm already on strike two
goddamn i need to step this shit up or close shop before I fuck myself.
I wouldn't be too hard on yourself. I mean look at how many times I've fucked up, and people keep reading my shit... for some reason...
There's a whole lot more to these topics that I'm probably forgetting about, but the general gist is to focus on driving your players through solid design of your worlds and ample information on their capabilities and the situations they are in. Reward creativity and constantly ask yourself: Would i want to be involved here if i was playing?
Dude, I cannot think of a single cyoa that doesn't have problems with railroading at one point or another. For that matter, I can't think of a game that does it perfectly either. Conveyance is fucking hard and railroading is a demon everyone needs and everyone will struggle with. As a writer you want to tell your story, that's natural. Fuck, railroading has literally kept me up at night and is the primary reason I've been pussying out from my own CYOA for the last week.
Don't think of these as 'strikes' but rather learning experiences, I still love to follow Hijack. The past is not a problem if you learn from it.
You get shit on a lot. I think it's because you started out really strong without understanding what you were doing right or wrong.
Your railroading really hasn't been that bad.
I'd say that your worst 'sin' was the Esmerelda thing, really. Not the concept, but the fact that you bait and switched what we chose for it.
I was okay with the intermission when he said 'don't worry, it's just an intermission!'
I was not okay with it when he 'ended' it by trying to redo the character selection vote with less characters to give esmeralda a better chance.
just saying even if she won, I would have never gone back on my word
I only did that to test the waters
and again, why the heck would I make the moveset for Tara just to have it become useless immediately?
I remember watching this making of video for a videogame and they had this open woods section where playtesters were getting lost and frustrated, so they put a texture of bootprints on the ground and the problem stopped. Nobody ever said 'follow the path' and options to stray were never removed, instead the players just followed the path of their own volition.
also, QM's should watch this:
ok so update on what I'm doing
I'm not done drawing, but we can start fighting cookieman proper on friday.
I'll try to clear my schedule to get running at aoround 9-10pm pst
I recommend looking up music if you guys plan on spamming 'Sing'
Woke up in the middle of the night and did this. bluh...
You know what has gone crimminally unmentioned in both quests and general fandom shit.
Only one race of pony has a national weapon, and its the only race that was enslaved.
The Crystal Ponies were known for their enjoyment of bloodsport, jousting, and the development of a nast magical ice bow that nearly killed thousands on accident.
Maybe Sombra was right to enslave those violent fucks.
>massive fucking walls of text
That's because nobody ever cares about things that aren't unicorns, pegasi, or earth ponies.
You don't. But it's hard when your body is hard and full of hard or sharp edges because you're a crystal.
I actually don't. And there are screens of crystal ponies cuddling a bit. Sure, only among themselves, but still, it's something.
think the meat I used in that rice&vegetables thing that's cooking is kinda over the date, but I only used a bit so the worst that'll happen is a quick run to the bathroom
I know. I am a monster.
I feel like players would be disappointed if they realized how small my world is.
I attempt to give the illusion that the story's world is much larger than it actually is, that many more possibilities are available than I really have planned.
Well, here goes nothing.
I did something. Something stupid, but it was something. It felt good, cathartic even, to be able to say I finally just... did it.
Still. You know that feeling of immense regret that washes over you when you know it's too late to turn back? Yes? No? Well, I most certainly do. But that isn't exactly what I felt the day, when I did what I did. I felt disappointed with myself. Guilty even. It bled into what I did and yet still I'm sure it diluted.
You see... I bullshitted. I said I panicked last week, but that was an understatement; I fucking surrendered. I stopped running. And I aptly titled my quest to boot. As apparent as it probably was, I was ready, but I was not prepared. Entirely ready to face the music, but certainly not prepared to run a quest. And I knew that.
It's not fair to those that actually expected something better. Or hell, just something at all. I disappointed terribly and it's been gnawing at me. I love you guys, and in hindsight, the amount of effort I invested in that quest construes anything but. It's bullshit.
I am wholeheartedly grateful to have gotten the handful of criticism I received. I wasn't responding callously when I said that. I crave feedback on my work, regardless of how sufficiently it represents me or my dedication. If I am responsible, I hear for it.
I was working on something bigger than the reeking piece of carrion I brought to the table. I'm not shocked that what I did was an utter letdown, but I did more than let down readers. I let myself down. And it hurts more than I thought it would.
I am sorry. I haven't given up, but I don't know precisely what I mean when I say that. I do not believe in myself. It's a shameful impasse.
Guilty. I'm shit at worldbuilding.
You and Bath take this too seriously. This is supposed to be fun, not lead to self-hate.
It was pretty bad. But it was the style he was going for that was bad, he might be good with a new style.
I feel like running a CYOA might have been a mistake. I tried my best and updated it every day for months, but I don't know if I'm any better at writing than when I started, and my CYOA has barely been spoken about since it ended.
>Ran every day for months
I wouldn't call Heat a mistake, if that's what you're worried about. The beginning was strong, the end, starting from the underworld, was very strong, it just got muddy in the middle.
That would be
I feel like if people did that, at least I could learn what my mistakes were and figure out how to improve. But my CYOA seems to have reached "literally who" status.
I think I did enjoy it. But I also ended up neglecting other parts of my life for it. I guess that was more of the mistake than running the CYOA now that I think about it. I thought I could finish it in 3 months if I updated every single day, but it ended up taking me 11 because I'm an idiot. Persona games are long. Writing a quest that fits the structure of those games takes a long time too.
Of course your quest reached 'literally who' status. You're judging it based off of this thread and your actual playerbase no longer has any place to bring it up. This Fucker is the same albeit far shorter.
Persona was well into it by the time this group came around and people are loathe to catch up on a few hundred thousand words. Plus you need to be interested in Persona to have the initial interest.
And they never really came over to this thread to interact like RGS did.
A CYOA is more an experience than story. The fact that you did it, you finished it and people enjoyed it is more important than discussion after the fact.
And if it ate up to much of your time then that's just how it is. You could have scheduled differently but you didn't. No point pining after time used.
Also there was little overlap between /cyoag/ and Persona. I didn't even know it was a CYOA until near its end. I thought it was a general about stories based on the games.
Seriously man, BathWater is a horrible person. I should know, I've lived with him my entire life!
It wasn't as bad as you seem to think it was. I mean, I was reading it.
And Honestly, when I go back and read through the first thread of my first quest, it's nothing spectacular. Honestly, When I started, I didn't really understand how to use 4chan. My experience with the site up to that point had been skimming /o/ for MR2 and supra pics and a few shitposts on /b/ about Dune.
Besides, as I've said before your writing style does make your story at least fun to read. As >>25351407 said the combat test was very fun otherwise The picture I included would have never been rendered.
Lighten up man, it's not like you've killed a character that everyone including yourself liked... Twice... By accident...
>it's not like you've killed a character that everyone including yourself liked... Twice... By accident...
Fair cop. We really always were.
A lot of that is my fault I think. At some point I stopped including "quest" in the title because I felt it was too long, and I was thinking that perhaps the lack of gameyness and moment-to-moment prompts and actions disqualified us. I really wish this thread existed when I was starting out. There's a lot I could have done better in the start, and you guys are very good at giving useful advice to prospective QMs.
I'm actually really considering starting up a new shorter CYOA using what I've learned. Perhaps updating every other day in shorter, tighter sessions. OCs only, no canon characters, no anon, just to try and write something very far away from what Persona Quest was.
>A lot of that is my fault I think.
Not particularly. You're not going to be able to force people to participate in things they have no interest in. The playerbase has to decide to do it. RGS integrated because >memes. And even then they didn't really fall into the fold fully until after RGS ended.
RGS, Persona, and This Fucker already had well established player bases that were interested in their quests and for the most part not interested in others. I've no doubt that SS and Anonpone both have players that still only participate(d) in their CYOAs, but due to how this thread came about a lot transitioned. Which was beyond Nips and ST's control for the most part.
>I'm actually really considering starting up a new shorter CYOA using what I've learned.
I'd probably play it. From the little I read of Persona I liked your writing style.
I feel the opposite way, that worldbuilding is my greatest strength. Everything else about my writing is mediocre. And lewds. Apparently I'm half-decent at that.
I had a fun with Heat, and while there's a lot I regret about it (scheduling, writing), I feel okay about it as a whole. I learned what not to do, that you should balance everything well, and that open-world, pointless exploration a shit for text based mediums.
I'm also unsure of what I want to do for my next quest, if anything. I might just end up writing oneshots for other quests, or disappear altogether.
I wonder how hard it is to command a tank whilst in heat. Being in a hot, musty vehicle, very close to other ponies while leaking onto the commander's seat while the tank bounces and rumbles along as it rides. Bet it would be hard for the stallions inside too.
Wink wink, nudge nudge.