>To us, all the ponies are just re-color, different mane and eyelashes with a different cutie mark to boot. They mostly all have the same size and shape
>To ponies, just these little things means a world of difference between the attractive and unattractive.
>Your waifu is not pretty by arbitrary Equestria standards.
>She's made fun of growing up.
>She's given unequal chance at love.
>Her self esteem is horrible.
>She accepts that she is not the pretty mare.
>She just lives being ugly.
And there's nothing you can do about it.
>To us, all the humans are just re-color, different hair and eyelashes with a different face to boot. They mostly all have the same size and shape
>To humans, just these little things means a world of difference between the attractive and unattractive.
>Your husbando is not pretty by arbitrary America standards.
>He's made fun of growing up.
>He's given unequal chance at love.
>His self esteem is horrible.
>He accepts that she is not the handsome man.
>he just lives being ugly.
>tfw your husbando is considered ugly by some arbitrary standard you will never understand
>tfw you will never hug him, telling you love him, telling he has you, that everything will be okay
>tfw extremely self-conscious about your pointy nose
This actually raises an interesting point. Would ponies even find anon attractive at all? And if they did, would it simply be because of his exoticism? What would happen if a more conventionally attractive anon came to Equestria after him; would ponies view Anon as ugly now that they had a more complete knowledge of human attractiveness or would both of them just be too alien to differentiate between?
I kind of figure ponies would describe humans a little something like this:
>Two tiny almond-like eyes appeared above the bushes.
>A huge, hairless bulk, larger than any pony, rose up slowly, pale flesh glistening like wet leather.
>Its oversized-lips quivered and slavered
>And thin, agile appendages clutched as the upright body heaved and pulsated
>You are Lyra Heartstrings
>You live a rather humble existence with your room mate and best friend Bon Bon
>Two mares living together naturally got ponies talking
>Some considered you two very close friends, others; lovers, some even suggested you had a weird friends with benefits arrangement going on
>All of them agreed upon one thing however
>That you were the 'stallion' in whatever relationship you two had
>After all, who could possibly think the same of the charming, erudite, beautiful Bon Bon?
>Ugly, weird Lyra, of course she's the guy!" some would titter behind your back
>You'd pretend you didn't hear them
>It wasn't as if they were saying anything new anyway
>You would often spend hours staring into the mirror; wishing your mane was just a little longer, your eyes slightly smaller and your nose not quite so obscenely large
>One day Bon Bon noticed this and took you out for a makeover session
>Your confidence soared and you felt happier than you had for a long time until one overeager stallion made a crude joke about slapping makeup on a pig
>Bon Bon tried to comfort you and you reassured her that it was fine
>Now you look at yourself in the mirror behind closed doors
My headcanon is they would have a hard time differentiating humans from one another, like how Asians look the same to people that don't live among Asians.
>Anon: "You ponies all look the same to me, except for your manes, fur and cutie marks."
>Ponies: "That's funny Anon, cause all humans look the same to us."
>Still, you had a pretty good life and there were other ponies who had it worse than you
>You had friends, family and a steady job
>So what if the only romantic experience you'd ever had was when one of the colts in high school kissed you on a dare?
>At least you could say you weren't a complete loser
>And would only be selfish to complain right?
>And so life continued on; boring but normal
>Until the day you met Anon
>You were busy at your job at the Ponyville Museum sifting through some papers proposing possible common ancestors between zebras and ponies when a strange, bipedal creature entered through the door
>The creature approached your desk with a lolling gait and introduced itself to you as Anonymous
>Your ears pricked up
>The same Anonymous who'd appeared in Equestria months ago and who'd become something of a celebrity?
>He nodded in affirmation and smirked at your attempt at pronouncing his name
>He explained that he'd been sent by order of Princess Celestia to catalogue his species; one previously unheard of in Equestria
>You'd have thought this is something the authorities in Canterlot would have done months ago but you supposed they were much more preoccupied with studying the possibility of interdimensional travel brought forth by Anonymous' arrival in Equestria
>You asked him to fill out some paperwork agreeing to be a research subject and watched in amazement as he sailed the quill over the pages; deftly filling them out in perfect Equestrian
>He didn't stay silent either, like so many other ponies; asking you various questions and making polite conversation
>You also noticed he didn't avoid your gaze nor did he seem repulsed by your ugliness and you engaged in conversation with him with ease, even cracking a few jokes
>When he was done you set a session for the next week and he departed with a smile and a wave
>You leaned back in your chair and smiled
>You were actually looking forward to it
>You and Anonymous met several times over the next few weeks as you questioned him on a variety of topics from his home world
>You listened in abject amazement as he described his world and how his species had dominated and shaped the earth to their will without magic
>Although it wasn't technically part of your agreement, Anon also asked you questions; not about Equestria, but yourself
>He asked about your childhood, your job, your family and your hobbies
>You answered his questions honestly and were pleasantly surprised to find you both had a passion for table top games, something Bon Bon teased you about mercilessly
>You did your best to hide your disappointment when your sessions reached their end, feeling it was best not appear more desperate than you usually do
>You had enjoyed your time with Anonymous more than you thought after all
>Imagine your surprise, then, when he repeated the sentiment and invited you to join him for lunch the following day
>You agreed without hesitation
>"Stop fidgeting Lyra" grumbled Bon Bon as she tried to brush your unkempt mane
"I'm not fidgeting it just hurts!" you cry
>"Well maybe if you brushed more often we wouldn't be in this mess"
>Upon arriving home and telling her of your plans with Anon she'd immediately launched into a deluge of questions
>"Is he cute? How tall is he? Is it true he eats meat?"
>You answered all her questions until she was satisfied and she collapsed onto her bed in a giddy heap
>"I just can't believe that MY Lyra scored a date with Anon the Human!" she gushes
"It's NOT a date!" you insisted "It's just two friends hanging out, like we do"
>You're snapped out of your reminiscing as Bon Bon tears through a particularly large knot
"OW, Bon Bon watch it will you!"
>"Hey now, I'm just trying to help you look your best for you little date" she coos
"I told you it's not a date!"
>"Then why are you blushing?"
"I'm not blushing" you mumble, pulling your ears down over your cheeks.
>You wait nervously and hide behind your menu
>What would you even talk about when Anon got here?
>You steal a look at his empty seat
>IF he got here
>A waiter trots by and takes your 6th empty breadbasket
>You eat when you're nervous and you had good reason to be
>You sigh dejectedly
>Anon was probably somewhere laughing at how he only pretended to like spending time with you
>And you deserved it too for thinking you could possibly stand a chance with any stallion, let alone him
>You sniffle a few times and prepare to leave when you spy Anon running towards you, his suit terribly unkempt
>"Sorry I'm late" he pants "I hope the wait wasn't too bad for you"
"Whaaat? Naw it flew by" you smile, kicking a stray bread roll under the table
>You're relieved that your earlier fear was completely unfounded
>If anything, you and Anon got along even better than you did during your interviews
>Time flew by and before you knew it, hours had passed
>Before you and Anon parted he asked if you were available again next week
>And so it became something of a ritual between you and Anon; the two of you and hanging out at least twice a week
>You did everything together; picnics,movies, playing boardgames, writing crappy fictional stories, it didn't matter, you just genuinely enjoyed each others' company
>Sure maybe you wished your relationship with him to be more...romantically inclined but you knew that Anon just didn't feel that way about you
>And you were having too much fun with him to spoil your friendship anyway
>That would just be selfish after all
>You had noticed, however, that Anon had been acting strangely recently
>His hand seemed to linger when he would touch you
>He would hug you a lot more often than usual
>And most strangely, he would even look at you expectantly when doing this, as if he were hoping for some kind of reciprocation
>Probably just some human thing you reasoned
>No one could possibly love an ugly mare like you
Anon's behavior strange behavior came to a head a week later during your now established movie night
>The two of you were sitting side by side, a bowl of popcorn wedged between the two of you
>Bon Bon was out of town for a few days on one of her 'Candy Conventions'
>You also found it funny that these conventions seemed to occur every time a monster attack was reported in Equestria
>Just coincidence you suppose
>"He's gonna get back up, just you watch" says Anon, referring to the movie
>A few seconds later Anon was proven right as the villain was shown to merely be faking his death and attacks the hero
"10 bits says he spares him because of the whole 'If you spare him you'll be just like him!' trope" you reply
>"If you kill him, you'll be just as bad as he is" cries a pony onscreen
"Oh! What did I say" you laugh, tossing the bowl of popcorn up in the air spilling it everywhere
>"Lyraaaaaaa" whines Anon, giggling slightly
"Sorry" you mumble, jokingly
"Here you got some on the back of your neck. Lemme just..." you say, pulling Anon's face closer to your's to get a better angle
>To your surprise, Anon leans in and kisses you
>Your eyes bulge and and you blush furiously
>Anon was kissing you!
>Wait a minute
>What's the catch?
>Oh geez he must have thought you were making a move with the popcorn!
>He probably felt sorry for you
>You quickly pull back in guilt, and scoot over to the other side of the couch
>Anon's eyes shoot open
>"Oh, s-sorry" he mumbles "I shouldn't have assumed that... well you know"
>What was he apologizing for? You were the bad guy here!
"No Anon I'm sorry" you say, "I shouldn't have been so touchy-feely. It's no wonder you felt like you had to kiss me"
>A look of confusion passes over his face
>"Felt like? Lyra I wanted to kiss you" he says
>You stare at him in genuine confusion, your face now beet red
"You...wanted to?" you ask and promptly faint
Hey, here's a story on this subject that really captured my attention. I think it's pretty good.
Apparently by CreamNscream.
If he's reading this - finish it, pour favur. We've been waiting for literally a year.
>You awake in Anon's arms
>It seemed he didn't realise you were awake yet
>Your ear is pressed close to him and you can hear his heart beating rather fast
>He must be really worried about you
"Heya Anon" you say smiling awkwardly at him
>His eyes snap down at you
>"Uh" he says, quickly placing you beside him and coughing nervously
>"Sorry" he mutters lamely "Shouldn't have done that."
>You gaze at him for a moment and decide to cut to the chase
"So uh, why did you kiss me Anon?" you ask, scratching your head
>"Well I've wanted to for a while now. Ever since I first saw you."
"No no, I mean, why me of all ponies?" you ask
>You were starting to get emotional now and memories and emotions you'd thought buried were starting to well up
>"What do you mean?"
"I mean why me of all ponies? I'm hideous! My nose is too big and my eyes are enormous and my horn's crooked"
"You could have any pony you want Anon! Why would you want anything to do with me? Somepony like me just doesn't deserve love!"
>A few errant tears falls from your eyes and you scowl and look away in shame
>Typical Lyra, always crying over herself
>Anon is silent for a few seconds before replying
>"Well Lyra, you said it yourself, I could have any pony I wanted" he begins
>You choke back a sob, you almost regret saying it now
>"But" he continues "I don't want any other pony"
>"Your crooked horn,your small eyes, your large nose, I don't see any of that"
>"I mean I am an alien after all Lyra" he continues "And, apart from colour and manestyle, a lot of you ponies actually look really similar to me"
"S-so, what, we're all hideous to you then, like me?" you ask
>"What? No!" he sputters "I just mean you all look like ponies to me Lyra. You said yourself that I could have any pony; the fact that I only want you shows that I want you for your personality alone."
>"And besides" he add "For what it's worth, I actually think you're really cute"
>He thought you were cute?
>What was wrong with him?
Don't cry. You can even do movies when you have a fucking NOSE
Watched RoboCop (2014), Mr Nose was the Cop. Should have called the movie RoboNose.
He still got to be a star though, even if his nose is so pointy he could knock out perps with it.
>You will never have a razor sharp cyber-nose capable of cutting through a convict's skull just by headbutting
>she isn't pretty
>her eye color doesn't match any other colors
>her nose is a little shorter
>her mane doesn't compliment her coat
>She's one of the ugliest ponies in equestria
>this is why she works so hard
>Why she wants nothing more then to be admired
>fame isn't about popularity for her.
>it's about acceptance.
>looks like she had a bad growth spurt
>overly long horn
>freakish wings she won't put away
Popped in to read. Wasn't disappointed.
Anxiously awaiting more.
Don't worry, anons. Your waifu would be beautiful and would likely already be with a stallion by the time you got there.
You'll never, ever go to Equestria. You gotta make your waifu real right here, right now. You gotta hurry! You'll regret all this time you spent thinking about the impossible instead of making her real. Hurry, anon.
But I have. And she thinks otherwise.
We'll find each other, and we're gonna wrestle.
>You find yourself at a loss for words
>Somepony actually thought you were cute!
>You of all ponies!
>The thought alone was enough to put a smile on your face
>This clearly just wasn't right
>He was obviously delusional
>Maybe a particularly heavy kernel of popcorn knocked some sense out of him?
>No that was silly
>He was probably just playing a trick on you.
>It was the only possibility
"Ha ha. Okay great prank Anon you can knock it off now"
>Anon looks taken aback
>"Prank? Lyra I'm being serious"
"Oh please, that's the same thing Mercury Weave said in 8th grade"
>You cut him off with a wave of your hoof
"And then I'm going to think 'Oh hey, somepony's actually likes me!' and all the while you'll be planning to make a fool out of me just like he did!"
>You were yelling now and tears of rage and humiliation streamed freely from yours eyes
"Well that's never going to happen ever again!" you scream
>Anon looks at you sadly
Your chest heaves as a muffled sob erupts from your chest
>Your voice breaks as you try to cough it away but you can't hold it back
>Soon you're bawling; years of memories of being ignored, shunned or made fun of because of how you looked now streaming back in a deluge of emotion
>You didn't see Anon wrap his arms around you but you felt it
>You heard him whisper his sweet sympathies and reassurances in your ear as you soaked his chest in your tears
>After some time you mellow; sniffling slightly
>Eventually you bring yourself to look up at Anon
>"I really, truly mean it Lyra" he says "I really do find you attractive"
>You try to force out some words
" W-Well sure, maybe." you sputter " B-But you can't possibly..."
>"I can't what Lyra?"
>He moves his face closer to yours
"You can't possibly lo-"
>You choke on the last word
>Anon tilts his head and moves even closer, leaving barely an inch between you
>And with that he leans in and kisses you again
>And this time, you kiss back
>You are Lyra Heartstrings
>It was two years since the night Anon first kissed you
>And you couldn't be happier
>Turns out Anon had been quite a sought after bachelor and you'd upset quite a few leading mares all across Equestria
>You still giggle at the thought of sticking it to those pompous, haughty mares from time to time
>You repeat your oft practiced ritual and stare into your bathroom mirror
>You stare at your crooked horn
>"It's wacky and zany, like you" you recall Anon saying
>You stare at your enormous eyes
>"I can see into your very soul through them" Anon would tell you
>You stare at your large nose
>"I like a mare who can sniff out trouble" he would say
>And, of course there was another reason why you loved this ritual so much
>Anon walks up behind you and wraps his arms around your midsection
>You did so love seeing his eyes light up in the mirror as he did so
>It was an affirmation, every morning, that he really did love you
>Even despite how you looked
>But you supposed that was the beauty of it all
>That the one who loved you more than the world itself was himself born a world away
>You thank whichever deity or force it was that brought you two together
>Flipping around in Anon's grip, you wrap your forelegs around his shoulders and pull him into a deep kiss
Light years away, in a realm sitting between the pillars of reality themselves sat a curious creature viewing the scene from a crystal ball
>The creature, an amalgamation of various beasts cried out in joy
"Oh!" cried the yellow eyed creature, wiping away a tear with a clumsy lion's paw "How I love a happy ending!" and blew melodramatically into a hankerchief
This was a throwback. Reminds me of the shit I used to come to this board for.
>ponies are just re-color, different mane and eyelashes with a different cutie mark to boot
That's only because the show uses the same puppets in flash for them all. Thinking they all look like that is like thinking that humans all look like Simpsons characters. Ponies in Equestria come in all shapes, colors, and sizes.
Your ability to distinguish facial features is dependant entirely upon your level of familiarity. If you never spend any time around niggers then yes, they will actually look alike to you. The more niggers you interact with, the more material your brain has to sub-divide into categories and the more different individual niggers will look until.
Then that makes the original argument moot. If anyone of us were in Equestria, we'd easily be able to tell the ponies apart, even without the differences in color and cutie marks.
Good story. Thank you writefriend.