>tfw everyone tells me i have potential or some shit but i don't want to do anything with my life anymore at all, just wither away as a NEET or kill myself something, but i don't want to do that to my mom and my sister either
>tfw got back my gre subject test results today >tfw absolutely terrible >tfw never going to get a phd >tfw life doesn't seem worth it anymore >tfw giving up on trying not to think about suicide, which was in the back of my mind already thanks to the trying weeks leading up to this point Is there any music at all that could help me deal with this feel?
>>51670738 Animal Collective - Strawberry Jam >>51670864 John Frusciante - Niandra LaDes & Usually Just a T shirt >>51670990 The Flaming Lips - Telepathic Surgery >>51671368 Arrogant Sons of Bitches - Three Cheers for Disappointment
>had a really great relationship with this girl from work, actually loved her and we have a lot of music compatibility >She ends things bec she needs space and is going through mental/emotional things and needs to be alone >what do I do now she was perfect to me
>tfw music is the only thing that makes you relatively happy anymore >tfw you'll never pursue your dream of playing music for a living >tfw you know you're destined to live the rest of your life depressed and regretful because you didn't realize what you wanted when you were younger
>tfw all you want is someone to hold you >tfw there's a girl that's not even that qt that goes to the same lectures as me and her legs are so skinny and she probably has great feet but i don't know how to approach her
You could try talking about the class. Or there's always "Hi, I'm anon, what's your name?" If she likes you then you can say anything and it will work. If she doesn't like you then you never had a chance anyway. There's no real way you can lose. And if she's not that qt then chances are she's not taken, so that's points in your favor right there.
>it was my birthday last friday >just went to college >nobody knew it was my birthday >only people that wished me a happy birthday was my mom and this girl from my work who I really like >came home >listened to STGSTV >final part of Alvin Row >feel like something has awoken inside of me >feel really good for a brief second >'My singing voice is gone.' >song ends >feel completely nothing >realize how horribly isolated I am right now >send girl from my work a text admitting to how horrible I feel and how I really need somebody to open up to right now >no reply >went to sleep >woke up >no reply >start having a panic attacks >I'm working with her tomorrow >no idea what to say about the text considering it was completely out of nowhere and I regret sending it
>>51672090 >>51672108 That... actually sounds really nice. I should look into that after I graduate, now that grad school isn't going to pan out. I applied for a job at a state park over the summer but they didn't call me back after my interview.
>>51672206 >Hmmm. Select tracks on "The Freed Man" by SeBADoh, Maybe? I don't know. I'll check that out, thanks >>51672379 I'll think about it. Seems travel expenses would eat up half my earnings though, I'm guessing they don't pay for that.
I feel empty because although I'm surrounded by friends and people who love me, there's something missing that I can't quite explain. It leaves me confused every night as I'm falling asleep. I'm happy. My life is going well. School is fine.
But something isn't quite right and I wish I knew how to fix it.
>>51670757 fuck me, I forgot how to reply. This is the album I was talking about though. "Prelude for Time Feelers" was the first track I heard off this album and it is so fucking beautiful. Hope you catch up on your sleep, OP.
>depressed as shit just want to find someone >set up tinder account and shit >get a match with a girl which is qt >she studies classical music and is one of the best of here age here in my country >shes into me like fucking crazy the first two weeks >i work all the time but meet n shit >sunday coems and where gonna watch a movie and shit ( ITS HAPPENING) >all of a sudden she gets sad as fuck bcuz some fucked up problem with her family >lay next to her in sofa and sleep with her in bed but dont do nothing cuz i have morals >she is "confused" and shit after >a week passes >"oh anon well im not intrested in you in that way" >"i my year has been shit and i wanted to fall in love with you so bad, but i didnt".
she kept sending me msgs and shit all the time and wanted to meet n stuff but all of a sudden i was nothing
>tfw applying to a uc >tfw 3.29 gpa >tfw this semester was hell, gonna get flat b's all around >tfw a low 3.29 drops to an even lower 3.23 if i actually get all b's >tfw most likely rejected >tfw i went all in for one uc
what kind of music fits this disappointing failure feel?
>>51672163 Something very similar happened to me today. My birthday is next month, though probably nobody at university would know as well about it. Today I sent a text to a friend from English class, where I admitted that I'm kinda liking her and maybe we could write each other. No answer for a day and tomorrow I'll see her again. Regretting my mail as well...
I just listened to this, maybe it'll help you too: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jvqwVMd7kek
>tfw prepping to drive several hours to get Government Plates on vinyl >local stores aren't even sure if they are going to get it >slowly facing the reality that I am probably going to go home with nothing >also my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me today
>friends with girl >boyfriend is a shit, either cheating on her now with his ex or it's coming soon. >tons of people have told her he's a shit and to just dump him but she wants to fix him. >even she's slipped and admitted to me it bugs her a lot and she suspects some stuff and that he's kind of a paranoid asshole. >mixed feelings. On one hand I'd be happy because it'd give me a chance with her, but on the other I don't want to see how heart broken it'll make her I don't even know anymore.
>tfw letting down everyone around me because I'm terminally lazy, impossible to excite and hard to motivate >only reason I haven't committed sudoku is that I have a girlfriend >no friends though, gf told them I was abusive for no reason >pretty much lived and been alone since I was 15 >also I think my stepdad emotionally scarred me
>>51675518 I dunno how high. The guy is almost definitely a shit. Like at this point I'd be genuinely surprised if it turned out he wasn't. Much like her ex, it'll take until she actually catches him cheating before she leaves though. As for her, she's admitted to me before that had she met me before him, we'd be together. Regardless, I'm not really like clinging to the hope/idea or whatever. But it's in the back of my mind.
>>51675665 Well, I know that situation (just w/o that possibility that I'd be with her if I met her earlier). To me it sounds like it's only a matter of time she'll dump him, because you can't fix people so easily. But it'd be also shitty of you if you'd keep telling her how she should break up with him, don't do that. Just be there for her and maybe she'll come to you one day.
>tfw he told me a few nights ago he could never say he loved me as much as he loves her >tfw been avoiding/ignoring him ever since, aside from a "hi" here and there that I never follow up anyway >talking to him always made me feel like shit, but we used to be don't-go-a-day-without-talking-to-eachother closeness so it also felt warm and nice as a friendship >tfw he grows distant from me suddenly, and all the warmth runs cold, been kind of avoiding him since then too >tfw conversations are now awkward, boring, empty, unnatural, and he talks about her all the time >tfw don't want to lose him as a friend but talking to him feels so bad I can't bring myself to do it anymore
tfw, tfw hi /mu/ >>51675858 When I get heartfrustrated, I listen to shoegaze. T-try Whirr?
>>51675791 I've never told her that. I mean I've been honest and told her that some of the shit he does is sketchy but I've really tried to help her. Don't get me wrong I get tempted all the time but I don't want to fuck our friendship because I know she'll defend him.
>>51675909 I'm in a similar situation except she doesn't seem like she wants to be friends with me anymore. The only time I can talk to her is when I'm seeing her in person. I fucked up so badly with her, I wish I could punch past self in the face.
Coming home from break and having everything remind you of your past and especially that special person who you screwed up with and who now hates you. Everything around you is tainted with good memories of an unreachable past that just cripple you because of your current situation now. I just want to close my eyes and block out the world forever.
>>51676236 What did you do? And, subsequently, is it a worse feel to be abandoned for seemingly no reason, or to be abandoned for something you did? At least you know what you did wrong, but you also have to deal with guilt and regret. In the other case, you just feel like you weren't good enough, and the other person didn't care about you. Both bad feels. I'm sorry.
>>51676236 Are you me?? She had told me multiple times she wants to stay friends but never responds to any of my calls or anything. She told me she wants to see me when she comes home from Christmas, but that was a few months ago. If I see her I feel like I'll just break down and tell her how I made the biggest mistake of my life and need her back, but that will make me seem like the biggest asshole ever. But it's already too late, she has some new European boyfriend and the last thing she told me was how much she is missing him because he's on vacation, but she doesn't even think about me anymore. May I ask how you screwed up, anon?
>>51676577 Completely cut off contact. Rip off the band-aid, so to speak. Maybe in a few weeks/months time you'll be able to face him again, but for now your feelings are making it impossible to be friends with him.
From the breakup guide: Rule 1: The Relationship Is Over Sub Rule 1: You Don’t Owe Your Ex Anything Rule 2: Sever Contact With Your Ex
The breakup guide is never wrong.
And in case you wanted to know the others: Rule 3: Go Do Something Normal With Yourself and Friends Rule 4: Be Healthy Rule 5: Don’t Be an Asshole
>>51676960 you may be suffering from low testosterone >>51676922 this is gonna sound stupid at first, but i think you'd like The Conet Project. Not because it's catchy or upbeat or feelsy, but because it's interesting, and it'll get your mind off of the little things like that. And maybe even show you the big picture of how noisy and chaotic Earth is in a universe of noisy and chaotic stillness.
>>51676514 >>51676559 It's a long story, but it basically consisted of me never really listening to what she wanted. I was so head over heels in love with her that I completely forgot about the fact that she was human. I insulted her a few times out of frustration that she wouldn't love me back the way I loved her. I will type up more later
>>51677099 How does one love someone so much they forget they're human? I mean I know that love is different for everybody, and I did have a weird childhood and now have a much different view of the world than the people around me do, but to me love IS the realization that other people are just as human if not more human than you are.?
>>51676772 Oh, you know, Sever kinda sounds like a band. I was curious.
I've been doing rules 3-5 pretty well lately, but rule 2 is of course pretty hard. I don't know why he sticks around anyway so if I stop talking to him for months we'll definitely never ever talk again and I won't know how to deal with the ensuing regret.
H-he's not my ex, also. We never actually dated. He said he would if we lived closer but I don't know how sincere that was. Do the rules still apply?
And finally, thank you for the practical advice, Anon. I appreciate it. Also you seem like you'd be a supportive friend since you make matters simple.
>>51677208 Holy fucking shit are you my ex? She and I have so much in common with this situation especially >H-he's not my ex, also. We never actually dated. He said he would if we lived closer but I don't know how sincere that was. Do the rules still apply? This is so weird.
>>51677153 I feel that way too. I fall in love with people after they open up to me; I fall in love with their humanity. I guess Anon falls in love a different way. Maybe he falls in love with ideals. There is a human tendency to dehumanize people we find attractive or pleasant. Also, if Anon says he got upset with her for not loving him back, then he probably has a different way of compertmentalising the world from me. If I can't rationalise that someone would like me, then I'm actually absolutely okay with them not liking me back. If your expectations mean something different to you though, like maybe if you base them on what you want, then you might have Anon's problem, thus dehumanising the girl by reacting to her will in a way that maybe ignores her agency.
>>51677099 We all make mistakes Anon. Love does that to people. Will wait for more details.
>experiencing something lifechanging early in your life >you now have to sit in the dark drinking while your friends go out and love each other a little more each day >you'll never feel satisfied with your friends because you remember how great your life was before >you try to contact people you used to know back then, but they've moved on >all the while you live inside your head, replaying the memories like a movie theater with only one person inside it
>>51677208 >Oh, you know, Sever kinda sounds like a band. I was curious. Haha, maybe I should have been more clear. I forget sometimes I'm posting on /mu/.
>I've been doing rules 3-5 pretty well lately, but rule 2 is of course pretty hard. I don't know why he sticks around anyway so if I stop talking to him for months we'll definitely never ever talk again and I won't know how to deal with the ensuing regret.
From the guide: >Can I Be Friends With My Ex?
>Sure. You can be friends with your ex. But not now.
>Most people don’t end up being friends with their ex, and it’s not because they stop talking to them. It’s because they don’t stop talking to them. You can’t be friends with someone you used to love unless all those feelings are gone. You need to take the time to be apart and to get some space. Otherwise you’ll never get over them; you’ll see them with new people and it’ll kill you inside. What kind of a friendship is that?
That says it better than I ever could.
>H-he's not my ex, also. We never actually dated. He said he would if we lived closer but I don't know how sincere that was. Do the rules still apply? More or less, yeah.
>And finally, thank you for the practical advice, Anon. I appreciate it. Also you seem like you'd be a supportive friend since you make matters simple. Don't thank me, I'm cribbing it all from what I linked here >>51676979 But if you want to talk my skype is getmemy
>>51677375 That's cool. Maybe one day I'll start a band named Sever. I did a lot of Googling and I don't think the name's taken.
>tfw don't have faith in my ability to restart the relationship after I get over him
That's true. After he grew distant, a lot of the feelings died out, but if I start talking to him I'll be back where I started. I guess I have no choice. I'm only worried I'll lose him forever after that.
>tfw tempted to add you and be friends >tfw far too social anxiety this is the worst feel
>>51677153 This post below is pretty much spot on. >>51677338 I didn't really fall in love with her naturally, it was more like I forced it. And then when she said she loved me back it only encouraged me to further pursue her. Later I would find out she supposedly was joking when she told me this, but that didn't hinder my then utter love for her. And neither did the fact that she liked about 6 other guys in the time I loved her. I was very stupid to not have seen the fact she was not interested in me, but I was and am a stubborn ass when it comes to things like that. I thought maybe if I stuck around long enough maybe she would love me. But I was so focused on my desires that I completely ignored who she was as a person. I did nothing when one of the guys she liked went away to study in Europe, I wasn't there to listen to her when things went to shit in her life. I didn't even consider how as I was in pain because she didn't love me, she probably was also in pain because she couldn't return those feelings.
>>51677700 At some point I would text her that she could block my number if she was so annoyed with me. So she took up that offer and It's been 10 months since she's sent me a text. I emailed her an apology a few weeks ago which she accepted, but she didn't reply to my follow up if whether or not she would let me text her again. It was probably too soon to ask her that. Now she has a boyfriend which I'm glad she does because she always had a hard time trusting her feelings especially with a guy. But at the same time I can feel the jealousy and envy in my stomach, making me feel like I have to puke.
>>51677822 Now I want to be friends with her and not be an asshole to her feelings. And, if God permits, I want to love her the way that I should have. I want to say I love her as a human because she really is the coolest girl in the world and I honestly wish I could live my life with her.
>>51677626 Basically I had never been in a relationship before, never loved anyone, and hardly had any friends. I became best friends with her and we told each other everything, I never had someone I could ever open up to and she never did either. We got super close over the summer, we both told each other we liked each other and did everything but had sex (she even gave me a condom when we were lying in bed together making out but I was scared for some reason so I didn't.) This entire time I knew she was moving to Switzerland for college and was scared about what would happen to us but didn't think about it much. Fast foward to about two weeks before she leaves and she brings up that we can keep this non-relationship relationship the way it is until she comes home for Christmas. For some reason I got scared and told her that we shouldn't be in a relationship. I don't know why I said that, maybe because I was afraid of commitment in such a long long distance relationship like that-I don't know. We talked and argued for days but that's the way it stayed. Then she came over one day to get some of her stuff and after she left I called her and said that I made a huge mistake and wanted to change my mind. She said that I could and got super happy but me being the stupid asshole that I am, I pussied out again and said "oh wait nevermind I don't want to change my mind." I was still super unsure of my decision but that's the decision I made. We still stayed friends even though she was super sad until about a month later (and she even came over to my house a day before she left where we sat awkwardly silent for hours until she broke down and cried and kissed me and then left my house) when she suddenly stopped talking to me. Then it really hit me how much I loved her and how big of a mistake I made. Cont.
That's how it's been for months. With me dealing with this intense guilt and regret alone and her in Switzerland with a new boyfriend and a whole bunch of new friends while I have no one. I even almost attempted suicide last week, how silly is that? I don't want to but I'm afraid I'm going to try again though. I'm going to see her around Christmas time again. I don't know what's going to happen or what I'll do. Probably I should also add that she has been suicidal for years and also dated me for about two months in 10th grade where I unexpectedly dumped her then too. I can't remember why though. I still can't believe how big of a mistake I made, how much I broke her heart, and how selfish I was and probably will be with her in the future. Thanks for listening to my shitty blog.
>>51677822 >>51677883 I know fucking exactly how you feel anon. I want to be friends with her again so badly but I feel like that would be super selfish and asshole-like for me to do especially since I was the one who ripped her heart out, not the other way around. I want to be close with her again more than anything but I also know I should just leave her with her new life and boyfriend but it's just so hard to do that.
>>51677626 >That's true. After he grew distant, a lot of the feelings died out, but if I start talking to him I'll be back where I started. I guess I have no choice. I'm only worried I'll lose him forever after that. At least you'll have a chance to go back to being friends. As it stands that's impossible.
I was anxious the first time someone asked me to friend them on skype. Now we're best friends. But if you don't want to that's fine.
>>51678140 I see. Are you the Mallory guy? I actually enjoyed reading that, so don't worry.
Well, longdistance relationships have their own issues, so at least you got out of that. Do you guys not talk anymore, then?
>suicide I forbid you Anon You're gonna stick around long enough to live through this and learn and hopefully find somebody else you'll be more willing to take risks with or somebody that doesn't come with risks, best part
>>51678373 Yeah her name was Mallory. We talked for a few weeks after I made my final decision and it was almost completely normal and how it usually was. As she was on the plane leaving she texted me and said she would always love me, how I was her best friend, and how she hoped we could always talk like we used to and wished me the best in life. Since then she has been incredibly distant the few times we did talk, only responding a few times with short sentences as then just stopped sending things and responding. I even messaged her once and practically pathetically begged for another chance but she said no. It's just really weird because her only other friend's family is best friends with my family and they all hate me now so I can't ever really get away from all of this.
I really don't want to but I've always dealt with depression and panic attacks for a lot of my life and that subsided a lot when I became friends with her and now is back 10x stronger than ever, especially now that I'm on my own in university having no idea what I want to do with my life. I don't plan on it but sometimes I can't control myself. Thank you though
>>51678545 i don't want music i want someone to talk to or maybe not literally every person i talk to i feel like i want to make them understand why i'm the way i am so i can get help i hate it, why the fcuk do i do it idek
Constantly bouncing between being distressed over my own immediate problems and them shitting on myself for worrying about such insignificant problems in lieu of larger issues in the world, or even for other people on a personal level.
>have a family history of alcoholism >not ever really a big issue; avoid drinking >get to high school >date girl >first true mutual love >great for a while >she cheats with one of my best friends >friend group ostracizes me because they like best friend/her better than me >girl starts dating my different best friend >take to drinking a fuckton >wake up in the middle of the night drunk in random houses numerous times, no idea where I am >end up hanging out and drinking with 35 year old coworker and his gang member brother (they were pretty cool though) >months later, clean up >do psychedelics instead >achieve ego death, turn life around >90% of the people I know are ignorant and think doing LSD is just as bad as doing meth >get looked upon as a crackhead >whatever >leave for college >come back >everyone still looks at me like some drug addicted freak whenever I walk in the room >whatever
It's all good anon. Things may not be alright now, but they will get better. Your ideal situation may be gone but it's up to you to slowly build a new one. You are the master of your own life regardless of how often it feels to the contrary, and the universe seems to have a funny way of making things right for people who carry on in the face of suffering.
As far as music, I like Titus Andronicus whenever I have to go home. It has the right amount of hometown angst to keep me cognizant of my bad feelings but enough recklessness to make me feel like I'm in charge. TA is kinda looked down upon on /mu/ but them and Bruce Springsteen are the go-to hometown angst artists, at least for me.
>>51678822 Went out to live with him for a semester. Ended up relying on my mom for everything financial, paying for even little shit with a credit card she paid for, etc, because my dad and stepmom can't afford to pay for shit for themselves let alone for me. Decided that the financial thing, on top of missing my girlfriend, was grounds to return home. He took it was "Fuck you dad I hate living with you" and won't accept that I'm not rejecting him.
>>51678607 How did you think this is similar to my situation then? I see the themes of longdistance and of losing a friend from heartbreak, but I'd say it's still pretty different. My friend never loved me back; that's one difference. Already that puts you two in totally different situations. Plus, his girl is the reason we fell apart, not the result of it, or the aftermath. Another difference. He put the distance in first. It sounds like you never did anything to distance yourself from her. Another.
In any case, you have all my best wishes. You did tell her how you feel, right?
>bottom paragraph I know that feel, I know it well. Hang in there Anon. You and I both, we'll hang on.
>>51678628 Well, maybe I'm a different person than you think. Maybe I panic and delete you. Maybe you get bored of me. Maybe I say something dumb. See? I'll probably add you by the end of the night, but I'm just saying, lots of ways it could go wrong.
>tfw the girl I've been obsessing over 24/7 for the last two years is finally single again >tfw things have changed so much since we were last close >tfw haven't really talked to her in a long time and are no longer close friends anymore >tfw it still feels like electricity is running through my body every time I see her >tfw we now go to different universities >tfw I know that there's no chance at all of us being together but have dumb hope for the future >tfw I'm going to see her in 2 days
Help me /mu/ I'm feeling every single emotion imaginable simultaneously right not
>>51678904 I don't know, I didn't expect it to be exactly the same but that one thing you said was super similar. Yeah I told her exactly how I felt and that I loved her. I doubt she believes me though, I don't blame her for not believing me if she doesn't. One of the hardest parts is how fucking happy I made her. It was one of the first times in her life she was truly happy and I fucked it up so badly and ripped her heart out.
Umm.. I feel bad for asking this since you're obviously hesitant and don't I want to make you uncomfortable but do you mind if I add you on Skype too? I won't try to talk to you a bunch or anything but just incase I have one of those really bad nights and just need someone to talk to for a second. It's totally fine if you don't want to though.
>in love with someone i havent been close to for a year and a half >think about them when i wake up, when i go to sleep, when im bored, horny, just always >they have a SO >i have an SO >im with my best friend of over two years but out of loneliness, not love >there's a good possibility the person im secretly in love with will be coming back into my life in ~a month >it will destroy my current relationship which is probably the healthiest one ive ever had >i dont even care though because just thinking about it makes me feel like the sun is coming out and hitting my face and everything is warm and i feel home >i love you
>tfw no one wants to date you because you're a transgirl and no one wants to put up with that type of stress when they could have a carefree young adult relationship. I miss my ex-fiancee even though I hurt her so much because of our relationship and I wish she'd contact me.
>>51681802 >The world is a beautiful place >But we have to make it that way >Whenever you find home, we'll make it more than just a shelter >And if everyone belongs here, it'll hold us all together >And if you're afraid to die then so am I
>>51682145 this is an album i'm already very familiar with and love. good taste. i've given it time and shit. nothing's changed and nothing will change. I know i'll regret it if I don't, just like I regret not doing it 3-4 years ago. I don't want to live any more, at least not as myself. sorry.
>been casually talking to a girl for a year or so >things getting serious lately, we're getting closer >supposed to meet up after class and take a picture >decide this would be the perfect time for me to finally tell her how i feel >go to meeting spot, see her laughing and having a conversation with some other guy >just the two of them >i get pissed off and upset at the same time, just walk off >im pretty sure she sees me, dont care >she hasnt spoken to me since, and i havent spoken to her either >still really like her >mad at myself for getting mad over what could be absolutely nothing
>>51681624 I have to walk past my equivalent spot every day. It fucking kills me over a year later. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4yHuDKlcn-k is the worst song that I can listen to. she recommended the band to me.
>>51683114 long story short her family sent her to the other side of the world and if not for that we'd probably be together. I'm not confident on that because I have no social skills, confidence or self-respect at all, but she seems to really like me. Last time I saw her was one of very few moments where I thought things might have been about to get better.
now i'm stuck knowing that the near impossible chance of us being together is the only way i'm going to be able to cope with life and feeling too awful about myself to let anyone get close to me
>depressed, unmedicated >have 1 friend, who's much better off than me and thus will forget about me sooner or later >living alone for the first time at school, and I haven't met a single person or talked to a single person >been thinking about suicide every day
it's like depression, loneliness, narcissism, and a whole lot of hate bundled up into one. no music ever seems to come close to the mix tho.
>>51670620 >tfw disillusioned with the way the world works and humanity's crippling flaws, along with the utter powerlessness that comes with not being born into the financial elite and knowing that even if I did come out of a golden vagina, I'd fall prey to apathy through the just world fallacy.
>tfw dedicated full time to coddling an internet girlfriend that is probably fake because she never will do anything to meet you, but still terrified of not putting the effort in because you are one of the only positive things in her life
[9:57:26 PM] Want to die [9:57:30 PM] But can't leave [9:57:40 PM] Because then you would be really sad
How is anyone supposed to act in a relationship like that
>Start talking to this girl online >She gives me her number >We're texting on the regular >probably been at least 2 weeks or so >Suggest we go out for drinks or a movie or something >"yeah, maybe" >Continue texting her >about another week goes by >suggest it one more time >yeah, maybe if i'm not busy" >hasn't texted back in a week I'm not sure what her issue is, but I'm seriously about to give up on her since she doesn't want to meet me in person. But part of me also wants to stick it out since she might be really busy. I'm seriously not sure where to go from here.
>really shitty childhood >abusive parents >still manage to function >get gf's and have a social life >depressed for many years >psychiatry in my country is almost non-existent >lose gf I loved >after five years lose most of my friends >feel that my brain has rotted because of depression >too stubborn to give up >finally stop wanting to kill myself >depression is fading away >go back to med school >still feel hollow >tfw I'll never be able to come close to the range of emotions normal people have
I have a hard time recognizing how I’m feeling. I hate everything that I’m doing. It’s like it registers as pain on some level. I don’t want anything, I’m not really excited for anything. A lot of what I do is basically just avoiding discomfort because I just can’t really enjoy anything that I’m doing. I can’t think or really come up with ideas. My whole brain feels foggy. I’m tired and bored all the time. Sometimes I have episodes where it gets worse and worse and I literally can’t enjoy anything. It gets so bad I can’t form sentences sometimes. I’m confused, tired, and bored almost constantly. I can’t really remember anything. Everything feels like it takes a huge amount of effort. I feel anxious and on edge a lot. It’s hard for me to be organized. I feel generally guilty. I feel hopeless a lot of the time. I don’t feel like I can organize my thoughts well enough to say anything.
>>51685023 Thanks man. I am planning on seeing a psych, and soon. I'm just amazed I let it go on for this long. I freak the fuck out on SSRI's so I don't really know what antidepressants they can put me on, but if there's a way out it'll be here.
All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.
This is a 4chan archive - all of the content originated from them. If you need IP information for a Poster - you need to contact them. This website shows only archived content.
If a post contains personal/copyrighted/illegal content you can contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org with that post and thread number and it will be removed as soon as possible.