Lots of active spiritual thinking lately. Currently in a very weird place in my life where I'm seriously considering the existence of a God or another form of higher power. Existentialism is now a big part of my life.
>>54204338 Had been talking to this qt3.14 for over a week basically constantly and when she stopped talking to for a few days, i thought I blew it. Flirting resumed last night so fngers crossed I can close on the weekend
>>54204338 >have friend with privileges >she´s really into me when we are together >pretty much lets me do whatever I want >she´s a total sweetheart >when we are not together, she´s really cold and distant >tfw everytime we are together, I feel it´s eternal >tfw when we are away, it feels like it´s going to end at any moment
I feel glad to have discovered the worth of the Velvet Underground. Previously I had heard only the album "loaded" (I think that's it's title - the one with oh sweet nothing and sweet jane) and a couple of songs from velvet underground and nico and I wasn't especially impressed. I really like the song "all tomorrow's parties" and maybe the second track on & nico that sounds like guitars being played with violin bows. The track sister ray is really cool too. It sounds very ahead of its time. That's how I feel
My life fell apart a couple years ago. I won't go into the whole fucking story but it's bad.
Anyway, as a result I've had trouble with my student loan debt. I just got on a plan that is "income adjusted". My only other option was to pay $2400 a month. The income adjusted plan I'm on means it's eventually going to cost me about $700k. I'm not allowed to over-pay if I get a high paying job, it's either pay $700k eventually or pay $2400 a month NOW.
My life is fucked in the ass ten times over. Hold me /mu/
>>54205062 Get over that and understand that it's a natural human function. At the same time, don't overdo it and control your urges. Also, what are your essays about? I'll write your essays for a small fee.
Pretty good. Saw my ex's instagram today and it was filled with selfies. She looks like shit now while I stared working out after she broke up with me. Spring's almost here and I'm seeing this cute chick I met on tinder (yeah) on Friday.
>still not comfortable in my new receptionist job >anxious about plans to start therapy for my crippling social anxiety >thinking that for the first time in years I may start getting better >listening to cutesy faux-60's girl pop
>>54205326 you can't. student loans are immune to bankprutcy. if you're stupid enough to want an education in the USA, you have to be 100% sure nothing goes wrong for the rest of your life because it'll put you right on the brink at an early age.
>you will never attend the lectures in your first year of college and immediately identify the losers and maladjusted people who you feel are on your level of potential popularity and find even they don't seem interested in talkign to you and that you don't find them all that interesting and begin turning up early and sitting alone to read while the rest of the class arrive and have a qt girl you've noticed but who doesn't seem to have noticed you sit two chairs down with her friend and have more people arrive, forcing her to move down next to you and apologize for doing so in a warm and jokey way which makes you smile and mumble that it's ok and resent lacking the social skills to have more of the situation and have her ask you quietly during the lecture if you made a note of that last thing the lecturer was talking about and say oh yeah and pass it over for a minute or so and have her thank you and make a joke about how you don't appreciate her stealing your notes which she laughs at in a genuine-seeming way, and have her turn up another time without her friend to a lecture a few weeks later and sit by you and say hey in a casual way as if you're acquainted with one another beyond just sitting adjacent for one lecture and have it be towards the end of term so the room is two-thirds empty and spend most of the hour sitting low in your seats towards the back joking quietly about how the lecturer seems really anxious and shy and afterwards say bye to her and begin walking away, sensing doing anything else would be perceived as creepy or something, and have her say if you're going straight to the library since you both mentioned you need to go there before the winter break and say yeah I guess and have her say oh cool I'm coming too and walk beside you and feel extremely uptight at the experience of real life human company and find the books you need together and then talk outside the library and split up and regret not asking her out for the next two years
>you will never leave your job at a bike store a little early and go over to the seafood restaurant where your qt gf is working her shift and have her co-workers notice you and say hey and have the place be pretty quiet and go and sit at a table and order a coke and have your qt gf appear from the kitchen and wave and then dissapear again before remering without her apron and saying bye to her coworkers and walk excitedly across the car park to your car while talking quietly and laughing despite saying nothing particularly funny and have her change her clothes in the back of the car as you drive while laughing as you joke about a truck pulling up beside you and seeing her in her bra and reach a party that some college friends are throwing in their apartment and turn up with some beers and get drunk and have things die down around 3am and realize that you are too drunk to drive and find each other in the kitchen and support each other upstairs into the hosts's little brother's room and sleep on his bed while sharing his small Spiderman blanket and laughing as you try and turn on the lamp and you realize it's a lava lamp and hear a storm beginning to intensify outside and the wind pressing agaisnt the wall nearest to you and edge closer to each other milimeter by milimeter while accomidating the shape of each others' limbs and laughing almost silently and see nothing but her eyes and hear the sound of her smile becoming wider and her lips squelching against her teeth
>>54205491 >Section 523(a)(8) of the US Bankruptcy Code, at 11 U.S.C., excepts from discharge debts for "an educational benefit overpayment or loan made, insured, or guaranteed by a governmental unit, or made under any program funded in whole or in part by a governmental unit or nonprofit institution; or an obligation to repay funds received as an educational benefit, scholarship, or stipend; or any other educational loan that is a qualified education loan, as defined in section 221(d)(1) of the Internal Revenue Code of 1986, incurred by a debtor who is an individual" unless "excepting such debt from discharge under this paragraph would impose an undue hardship on the debtor and the debtor's dependents". I'd say paying 700k for college counts as undue hardship. It may not work, but it's worth a try.
>you will never visit your girlfriend's parents' home in rural Oklahoma and spend the first day there after waking up early with her clinging to your side helping her dad chop wood out back and fix some fence posts around his land and see your qt gf in the distance calling you both and waving you to the house and have her and her mom come out with a jug of homemade lemonade and peanut butter and jam sandwiches withotu crusts and sit on the veranda in the shade eating them as the two women come out and your girlfriend comes and on your lap and puts her hand on your thigh and her mom sees her sitting near you and goes to sit on her husband's thigh who jokingly tells her to get off before grabbing her waist and making her scream a little and look past them to the large garden where the two collies are chasing each other and the one in front is stopping and turning and arching its back with its nose close to the ground and pawwing the ground sa the other one stands at a distance with the same posture then runs after it again with their tongues lolling and then go up and shower as her parents go into town to get groceries and visit her relatives and have her enter the bathroom and sneak into the shower with you and giggle as you are shocked at her sudden appearance next to you under the warm water
>>54205556 >>you will never attend the lectures in your first year of college and immediately identify the losers and maladjusted people who you feel are on your level of potential popularity and find even they don't seem interested in talkign to you and that you don't find them all that interesting
this is the bit i could relate to
except for the arriving early shit, aint nobody gonna think im a nerd
>don't have any friends with good taste >met girl back in January on Tinder, started talking about NMH >her taste is patrish, she's smart and sweet >We hit it off, and although she lives about an hour 45 minutes away, we decide we should date >do so, turns into the best relationship I've had for a while, even though I'm busy and stressed >made plans to drive to Idaho to see Jeff Mangum since he isn't coming to Colorado >Saw Ariel Pink on valentine's day, spent the night, she was sweet and took care of me when I ate bad food and had a shit hotdog, made me breakfast in the morning >overall really good, although I had to study for aprt of the day >apparently slept with some guy last week and fell in love with him >tfw back to having no patrician friends to go see concerts with.
I live in such a shit area. I might try being friends with her later, but who knows. Kinda stings after all that. Wasn't even that attractive, but her personality was so god damn awesome. So I'd like to be friends maybe somewhere down the line.
Should I still make the road trip to see Jeff Mangum by myself? 1000 miles away.
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