Can we get a nice depression-core thread in here?
>tfw 4 hours of sleep every night this week
>tfw you and gf broke up
>tfw your asshat friend shattered your bong
also, post relevant albums to your current mental state
On the upswing but I always listen to this when I'm down
Usually I stop feeling depressed a week or two after it hits, but it doesn't seem to be going anywhere.
Looking for more music for depersonalization and constant, debilitating depression and anxiety
comparing woes is shitty
This album makes me feel like utter shit
Just drains me
I've listened to this album twice and I'm not feeling it. I loved Mt Eerie.
I dunno. I love a bunch of the tracks on their own but when I listen to them altogether in the album I don't feel it so much. Is there a big overarching theme I'm missing besides the foghorn?
Good to hear man, this only started about 2 weeks ago so its gonna be a while for me.
It takes me literally months to completely regain my social advances, mental fortitude, and physical health. I feel like it is holding me back in life.
Are you okay anon? I suffered derealization a year ago, though it only lasted two days. I'm still scared of it coming back ever since. For some reason I was listening to pic related when I snapped out of it. I had accepted my new state, maybe that helped too. Hang on okay?
Not him, but on top of my chronic depression I've been experiencing derealization and depersonalization fairly often for a year or so now. It feels so weird to think back on my memories and not be sure if they actually happened and if I'm actually the person I think I am. I'm not even sure how to accurately describe the feelings because they are so strange and confusing.
Descriptions differ, but here's how I felt. I had the feeling something was "off" about everything, like if perception and reality were still "communicating", but with a very slight delay. Like, there was 1 millimeter distance between me and the universe. I was also extremely tired and slept for 16 hours in a day. I thought my brain was fucked and cried. Without a properly functioning mind, life wasn't worth living.
what exactly do you mean? what is great? I don't see how any of this could be great, and I can't understand why anyone would want to fake being depressed, especially for attention.
I'm talking to a Bangladeshi aglet-folding enthusiast forum because fuck if im going to make people who care about me worry about me. That's just selfish.
>aglet-folding enthusiast forum
just realized how much i need this in my life
half my shorts are unwearable because i get annoyed by the string in the waistband fraying without aglets
anyway hope ur ok anon <3
pic related does it for me
Listening to this currently
>tfw uni work piling up
>stopped going to the gym
>been eating chocolate, drinking energy drinks and sobbing everyday for the past week
>tfw lonely and stressed
pic related, "I Know Its Over" and "There Is A Light..." being the most relevant to my current feels
my brothers had it since 2010. I want to help, but i don't know what to do or how to relate. He still seems to enjoy life though and is a lot more positive than others from what i've read
I always love listening to grouper when I'm feeling depressed.
>tfw the first and only girl that I've ever loved broke up with me because she "didn't want to get too attached to me"
I don't know what I'm doing with my life. I'm trying to hold on to the hope that the things I write will be published someday, but I've fallen off the train that was meant to take me there.
Happiness seems like an unreal concept, that only exists in movies and childhood memories. I can't even find the joy in things anymore. I simply exist, because I'm too afraid of what might happen if I just let go of everything that's keeping me here.
I've got a loving family, and a great set of friends that would do anything for me, as I would for them. But, as time goes on, I find myself winding down a dark road with nothing left in front of me, not even a light beckoning my ultimate return to happiness and general well-being.
As much as I hate to say it, I think I'm not meant to experience happiness. Nothing in my life has ever led me to a constant state of happiness, and I experience happiness in short bursts.
Music is starting to become background noise, books are just words that fill my head and keep my mind off the thoughts that intend to eventually kill me. And being around the people I love is just something I do.
All enjoyment in life is gone. I don't know where it all went wrong, and I doubt I'll ever get it back.
Anyway, I've been listening to Carrie and Lowell a lot lately.
I relate to about 90% of this. I'm 30 and have yet to find a solution. I want to buy a gun for home protection but the temptation of just ending myself with it would incessantly nag me.
Pinkerton by virtue of being one of the few albums that for some reason, I'm not immediately bored of right away.
I feel like my interest in music is dead right now, usually even at my lowest, I'd get someone out of playing my guitar and practising the material I had written but now I feel completely apathetic to it. I'd rather just lie down in bed.
I guess in a way, Pinkerton makes sense since thematically, it is somewhat intended to loop back into itself. Most of my time at the moment feels like it's spent the same way day in, day out, idled away out of boredom and a lack of strength to change anything. I know it sounds really childish but I find it really hard to mediate stress anymore, like even the smallest amount of pressure brings me to pieces, let alone finding a job. I already bottomed out of college because of that but I'm not sure what to do now, I'm pretty scared of working. Especially having to deal with other people, I try going outside some mornings for air but everyone is always watching me, it makes my skin crawl, I just want to tell them to fuck off but instead I just hurry somewhere I can be alone. I guess in general, I just feel apathetic towards most everything right now.
I'm only 23, it's been this way since I was 17. I've had girlfriends, random hook ups, just anything to try and find something that makes me happy. But, the more time passes, the more I just can't seem to find something that would make me happy.
Also, I've got a couple of guns in my house, but the fear that it might not kill me, because this is my curse, living in a world where I'm unhappy, is what keeps me from even trying.
The way I see it, what's the point?
You think happy people are in a constant state of happy euphoria? I'd say people who have awesome lives are generally just content the majority of the time. Perceived failure is one of the greatest restraints of potential there is. Life's not that serious. Life's absolutely fucking insane. If you stop trying, you really never were trying or wanted to try in the first place. You just wanted to succeed.
I realised that nothing comes after death. It doesn't help, it doesn't get any better. I like to think suicide would remove all this negativity but it wouldn't really, you'd never get to know the feeling of being unburdened.
In that sense, you're as well living. Least I think so. I mean, you're going to die anyway, so you might as well grasp on to the vain hope all of it goes away as almost as quickly as it first appeared. What other choice to do you have?
I always feel really weird though if I'm not on the cusp of suicide though, like I'm faking it and all these feelings or sometimes lack of, are for nought. Like, people are so willing to comment the minute you 'seem better' because you're going through a brief interlude of composure but really it's just a bright spell in a storm. At least they can actually feel happy when good things happen for them but I have to cross my fingers at night and hope I wake up feeling capable of that emotion, let alone actually experience it.
In that way, do kind of resent other people. Like, I'd sooner be homeless than be depressed if I had the choice. At least a support system of sorts is in place for them and you can always build things together, you can make life better but like this, it feels like there's constantly something pulling you backwards.
I'm sorry if I sound kind of angst right now, I'm not really sure how I feel right now.
Life is hell. I endure for the rare glimmers of happiness. Also, it might not be your thing but volunteering at an animal shelter made me happy. I think it's kind of hard to be down when you're doing something nice for someone or something other than yourself.
>hypersexual, but fluvoxamine causes sexual anhedonia
>maybe it's mdd, maybe it's bpd
And this fucking album right here makes me feel dread whenever I listen to it
But I keep doing it
No, I think that everyone else is in on the secret to feeling content, and I'm left here wondering how to get to that point. But, I agree with everything else you've said.
There is nothing. Everything we experience is a manifestation of our own lives, and anything past that isn't real. If I can't experience it, it doesn't exist. It is therefore not outrageous to claim that happiness isn't real, because I can't experience it.
I work in customer service, and I help others all the time. For those moments, I'm okay, because I'm not alone with myself. I don't want to be alone with myself.
>Where are you going?
>Where are you going......
Every fucking time
>being 'different' since childhood
>i've never fit in wherever i went. they just hated me for the music i like, the clothes i wear, the lenght of my hair and my weight
>all my friends are people i met online, living hundrets of kilometers away, some of them even live in other countries
>bad education, no job, no perspective, no idea what i should do in the future
>my last girlfriend left me because she "wanted more freedom". next day she had another guy.
>my family hates each other since my parents divorce over 10 years ago
>my brother tried to get me access to his clique, but everytime i'm with them i can't say a word without shaking. it makes me feel even worse.
i don't know why i'm not able to find a solution to my problems. i'm scared of my own shadow and life is too big for me. i have no idea what i can do to get rid of the pain and loneliness.
opening track on pic helps me forget about my life sometimes.
Having no local friends is hard but I'd rather have someone I can rely on, even if they several countries away rather than no-one at all. I know it doesn't really ease the feeling of loneliness but it times of necessity, at least you have someone you can talk to.
Also, your girlfriend sounds like a bit of a cunt.
i agree. 2 of my friends are very caring about me. i know them for 6 and 8 years now and they never let me down, even if their life is challenging enough. i'm extremely grateful for that because i know it's something special. but... i can't live from 2 people liking me. you know what i mean? i won't let them pay to keep me alive. at some point i need to stand on my own feet, because i would definetly never be able to live with such a shame. and that's something very frightening for me.
well, to be honest i don't get this either... she was a very sweet and nice girl. but when that happened she just became that huge cunt she is today. i don't know if her brain snapped because her step-dad was an alcoholic, or if something else happened that triggered this change of mind... or if she never really liked me. i don't know.
Great album. Time for me to listen to Great Ghosts and cry again.
Lyrically it's mostly Elverum coming to grips with his breakup.
>i know it's over
>but it never really began
Slint - Spiderland
Low - I Could Live In Hope
Low - The Curtain Hits the Cast
Red House Painters - Rollercoaster
Carissa's Wierd - Songs About Leaving
Silver Mt. Zion - Horses in the Sky
Mount Eerie - Dawn
Giles Corey - Giles Corey
Julee Cruise - Floating Into the Night
Chelsea Wolfe - Pain Is Beauty
>nobody posted modest mouse
ha ha what a shit thread until now
saw the singer solo w mineral was kool
he means the album i think
wait not him etierh but does it feel liek ur floating sometimes n like you think about something that happened 20 mins ago and it seems like 'woah why did i do that' or 'woah that feels like it was 3 days ago' kinda deal? that's been happening to me recently and i've been super depressed too. I've always had bad anxiety, or last three years, but recently long spells of depression - not just 1 or two days - and being reeeeeeeeally tired but not depressed. Like debilitatingly tired, but I can't sleep at night. And yeah, that weird floating/warped sense of reality recently too. Is that what you meant by depersonalization or whatever? I also get that kinda weird rushign when everything feels fast yet super slow, and everything is super close and yet far away and panicky (not anxiety panicky but yeah can't describe) sometimes but I think that's fully unrelated.
I like listening to new swans whenever I get low, the songs give me an anchor, to focus on the unfolding songs and the developing structure
old swans does the opposite, Gira shouting at me isn't good when I'm down
For you OP, the most depressing album I've ever heard
>what does the word
>when you don't
essential. Though I'd hesitate to recommend it to someone prone to self-harm or something
take some vitamin D kid
cut off eating sugar and quit any form of caffeine period(coffee,energy drinks etc)
you'll feel better soon enough
also hangout at a gym or some kind recreational center
I made friends with these older guys well early 30's and i workout with them everyday
I FEEL ALIVE
I've felt hopeless and discontent with life before. I've felt a lot of emotional polarity in memories I have about time I've spent with people I've known that've died. Shit sucks. Good memories are fleeting and normally compounded with thoughts of the absence of the possibility of them happening again in the future. You envy yourself. I was happy with that. I could be happy if I had that again, but you can't. There will never be a time in your life that meets the exact conditions or criteria of you being happy from your memories, A lot of shit has changed since then, but something about the fact that those things happened makes me feel amazing. I was fortunate enough to be REALLY happy. I have this inherent hope that comes from remembering happiness now that I couldn't muster when I was depressed. I couldn't tell you what changed, but I think life will change if you let it. Hope you feel better anon. Sending love your way.
Having listened to some of his interviews I have concluded that Douglas Pearce is the most depressed gay nazi in this plane of existence.
And believe me it shows in his music, especially Clouds and Symbols.
It's not really music to pick you up, but to be content wallowing in self-pity. To feel as if You were a dying out master race slowly torn apart by genetic degeneration.
i fine okc and that really helpful when i was depressed
Was stuck living in my grandparents house while my parents went thru a divorce. then my grandpa died while I was their and my sister tried to off herself because my dad ignored her.
Sucked hard that none of my friends wanted to hangout or help me thru it.
Turned to music and kid A was the first album I heard. Cried on the 2nd listen . Turned things around for me. Became a serious music listener and stopped blaming others and depending on people to help. Realized only I can be the one who changes my current situations
OMG YES THIS ^ !!!!!!!!!!! it really is THIS SIMPLE!!!!! and don't forget to breathe deeply and try to appreciate the beauty of life, take time out just for yourself... oh and definitely you have to do yoga, preferably on the beach at sunrise!!! it's impossible to feel depressed doing that!!!!
oh and most importantly OP.... be yourself :^)
Why are you trying to make a meme out what i say not cool man
I was being sincere nowhere did i say it was a quick fix. i was suggesting things that will turn a negative into a positive which should be everybodys goal.
I went from being near suicidal because I felt like everything i do in life is useless because I'm gonna die and forget it all. But I'm still trying to see how far i can go in this current life.
Depression is a disease and is not the same with being bored or slightly upset about trivial things.
BUT you can check out John Frusciante, he's pretty good.
>tfw the realization you're going to be alone for the rest of your life, not because you're a shitty or weird person, but because you're just not interesting enough for anyone to find attractive
>feeling this as 'I Want To Be Alone' plays
kill me now
Damn, those are some of my favorite albums of all time.
>make lots of friends
>other friend who wasnt on their circles meets them through me
>they replace me with her
>all this on a week frametime
>mfw lonely again
>mfw thwy might be partying togethwr with her instead of me
>mfw suicidal thoughts and depression increased with this
I dont even enjoy music that much anymore except for some Tim Hecker
Used to have a nice group of bros with their family we go jet skiing every week and have have a jam session
Then i brought in this girl i was dating from okcupid to hangout. then she brought her friend who started dating my bro who was our lead singer.
Next thing u know we stop hanging out less and less and all he does it get wasted and go clubbing with her.
Then the girl i was dating said playing in a band is a waste of time we should make edm instead
now it's all 3 of them hanging out at clubs and going to edm festivals
>mfw they are at ultra music festival right now
i blame it on myself
fuck, why this has to happen to us.
I mean, it was inevitable since we all go at the same uni but it's kinda unfair that if she got into their circles through me they all left me.
I really dug my group of friends and now I feel so lonely... I hope we get back some day
I feel like my social anxiety keeps me on the brink of depression all the time. Especially when there's a long break from school like 2 weeks it just makes me not want to live since no one is talking to me, it just makes me feel like a burden to my friends, like they dont actually care about me, anyone recognize this?
>I hope we get back some day
I've been in both of youse guys place before.It never really gets back to normal unless maybe years has passed. I've made efforts to fit in with friends new interest and even tried to be nice to the new people they added and it never works out.
You just gotta fine new friends and never look back like they did.People change and they only care about what makes them happy. they weren't your good friends like you taught they was :(
My go-to album when feeling like giving up.
>they weren't your good friends like you taught they was
right in the heart
it really makes me mad. I didn't even introduce her to them, she just stopped by and said hi and then bam everyone forgets about me and stops treating me in that special way
>tfw your partner doesn't love you anymore.
>tfw you wonder if it ever happened at all.
this album definitely feels more like post (or almost post) depression feels. Like, that last track he has worked out in his mind how to get over it. Or at least a kind of mantra for when he is in it. Hes working shit out.
when did /mu/ forget?
What's some angry-depressive-core?
I'm sad and I'm mad and I want to be madder
>this not being posted yet
do you even feel, anons?
>tfw lifting, getting friends, getting money, fucking sluts, having an interesting life still doesn't fill the emptiness you've felt since you can remember.
fuck, i might as well go back to being a NEET with no social life, i still feel empty
depressing and woman-hating ultra album right here breh
>she says, she wants to put our relationship on hold because she doesn't want to lose me
You should read or watch mike tyson recent biography he did with spike lee
he talked about no matter how many 10/10 hookers he fucked and drugs he took he still ended up feeling empty everytime after it was done.
I meant to post this but I guess I'm retarded
you should spend your free time studying philosophy and psychoanalysis. It makes laugh more interesting for myself. You start seeing patterns in how people behave.Become an observer of life and react to It.
I was told I have derealisation and depersonalisation late last year. Finding this out made things worse because now I'm conscious of it.
It makes sense though. At work the other day I had a minor crisis while listening to somebody talk and I just went completely blank and had to apologise, leave and go and hide up for a while. I felt really bad because he thought I wasn't listening. Technically I wasn't, but not through lack of interest. How do you tell somebody it was because you weren't sure if you or anything else was real for about thirty seconds?
Seconding Public Castration, helps when you think you're shit and feel miserable.
Also Cap'n Jazz - Burritos for more angry feels
Good idea. And that's true, but it does put us in a bad place. When we're depressed we really need more uplifting music. Laugh all you want, but I think contemporary Christian does a great job at that. There's just a feeling you get.
>You know that Time Fades Away
>I've been flyin' down the road, and I've been starvin' to be alone, and independent from the scene that I've known
>The world is turning. I hope it won't turn away
>Every time it feels like things are finally looking up, it turns out to be a fabrication and things revert back to exactly how they were before except with some fresh fuel for the flames of anxiety and depersonalization.
IT JUST AINT LIIIIIIIVING AND I JUST HOOOOOOPE YOU KNOOOOOW
>That whole song
>Famous last words
>"Lying next to me, with words I thought i'd never speak awake and unafraid"
>tfw that album was my highschool breakup album
God damn I'm going to go download it to my library now