I finally convinced my wife to go camping with me , she prefers to stay home when I go camping usually.... but since we had a camper she agreed (she was done with tent camping) .. so we drive to a nice campground in remote Iowa, some weird dude that looks like Private Pyle (when he was sitting on the toilet with a rifle) was our tent-neighbor, he started 'visiting' us throughout that day and asking for a few things, like charcoal, matches, lighter fluid, food, beverages, and so on
I always like to oblige man but after a while the guy actually says this to us: "I hate people.... a lot. but I'd never kill anybody". And strolled back to his tent.
All night that night, there was cars rolling in to this guys tent for maybe 10 minutes and leaving. Probably 6-8 cars at least throughout the evening, could have been more, we were trying to sleep...
My philosophy is typically "there ain't nothing so bad that a cop can't make it worse", but all of my run-ins with DNR to that point had been favorable, so after weird dude wandered off somewhere into the woods in the morning, my wife and I decided to head up to the ranger's office. He happened to be there, and we told him about the guy and all the shit happening and cars rolling through during the night. Ranger dude and another DNR type guy was there and they looked at eachother like "it's on now bruh" and they said "we will take care of this right now" and got in truck and boop de doop, off down the lane back to the campground area... by the time we got back the dude's tent and all his shit was down, in a pile and the officers were still having a nice chat with him. He was gone shortly after that
TLDR, camped next to an axe murderer/drug dealer guy who told us he wouldn't kill us
>>598438 Dude, he said he would not kill you and you go and drop a fucking dime? What an asshole. How about you learn to mind your own biznach. You knew your wife was gonna cuck you with him as soon as you went to the showers...
>>598074 >>598436 >go car camping with group of like 10 friends >undeveloped campground in the woods next to a boat ramp >big area, maybe 2 other groups using campground, we're at least 100 yards from the nearest group >after we get all of our hammocks / tents set up they build a huge bonfire, pull out 3 coolers full of beer, and someone pulls their jeep up right next to us and proceeds to blast music out of their stereo system >everyone ends up sitting around the fire getting hammered while yelling at each other over the loud as fuck music until like 3am >literally 10 hours of blaringly loud southern rock, 'folk', and country music
I mean, I don't mind getting drunk while on a campout but for god's sake let me enjoy the sounds of nature and good conversation while I'm doing it. Shit, it was basically a college-tier house party minus the house.
>all of them keep asking me when we're gonna go "camping" again >everytime I just give a vague answer like "yeah, we should do that soon" or "maybe when it cools off this fall"
>>598438 >My philosophy is typically "there ain't nothing so bad that a cop can't make it worse", but all of my run-ins with DNR to that point had been favorable mine havent
>be at WI state campgrounds with my mom because she is old and fat and cant hike >be midnight >be smoking a bowl waiting for the fire to die >sneaking through the woods come two rangers >get arrested and fined $450 for minding my own business smoking pot at midnight why the fuck are rangers sneaking through the woods at midnight
>>599129 >To keep the woods safe from awful, horrible, no good, pot smoking degenerate hippies like you. What if you had set a bald eagle on fire with that joint? Didn't think of that one did you? You're bad and you should feel bad.
I actually am an office manager at a rustic campground on the gulf coast. I've seen all sorts roll in to the park. From methheads to millionaires. Most are age 40+ plus in pull behind rvs. We also get a lot of younger people with pop ups and tents. Lots of fishing guys come in as well. The rednecks usually show up in shitty old motorhomes or vans. The more wealthy will have a 5th wheel or nice motorcoach.
90% of people are superfriendly and love inviting people to hang out and chill.
>>601399 >be camping over 4th of July at campground near Gettysburg >just wife and I >have an RV, I'm sitting outside drinking beer >rented motorhome pulls in spot next to us >5 people in it, 2 guys in their 30s and 3 girls who are mid 20s >They come in and out the next 2 days, don't speak with them >3rd night guy comes over, asks if he can use my grill since he's out of propane >Scandinavian accent >guy uses grill, thanks me >tells me hes from Norway, here with friends >they rented an RV in Washington state, and are driving cross country, said they al ways wanted to do it >prettycooldude.jpg >thanks me again and goes to eat his food with friends in motorhome >I go back to hanging out, drinking a beer >he comes back 30 min later with a bottle of booze, some Finlandia Vodka. Says I have to have it since I was so nice >"wow thanks Norway man but you don't have to" >"no no I insist" >"ok Norway man if you guys arent doing anything let's share the bottle" >game on >me and wife start fire, girls and guys all come over from motorhome >we all get drunk >bottle of vodka is gone, and we've finished a case of Saranac summer pilsner >somehow the girls from Norway are now making out >we are playing some drinking card game around the fire >Fire drinking game is somehow just "Norway girls get naked and make out" >Norway girls showing boobs, flirting with wife and it's a shit show >wife is having fun >girls from Norway ask us to come to motorhome for some fun >wife:"oh haha sorry we aren't like that" >bonerkill >Norwegians laugh, thank us for good times, retreat to RV for some unknown type of Scandinavian orgy that I'll never get the chance to have again >wife asks me later "that was weird huh, you'd never do something like that right?" >game face: "of course not no never nope" >have sex with wife pretending she's Norwegian >Norwegians leave next day, act like every thing is cool, and they didn't propose an orgy last night
Tl/dr almost had a Norwegian orgy with my wife camping
>>597695 Ass end of nowhere in Tasmania there was a campsite with genuine fucking gypsys. I half set up then decide that I rather liked not having my throat cut and my bike and gear stolen, so I hoboed it inaforestry.
>>601407 What part of Tasmania were you camping in? I've been saving up money to go there for a month's vacation, and was wondering if you'd be able to recommend any good locations to go hiking while on-island.
>>601474 Well if you want to take an epic hike there is the overland track, but they make you pay like $200 during tourist season. My personal favourite is at freycinet, over the saddle to wineglass and then to hazards beach, camp there for the night and take the coastal route back. Or you can hit the central highlands plateau, there are a fuckload of really good huts to crash in. I have a map of their locations, but Its not wish me.
>be camping by lake colac, in victoria, australia >me and friends have been on a road trip down great ocean road, driving back home now, this is our last night >somewhere along the way we ended up buying a fucking boomerang, stopped at damn near every beach to throw the damn thing >get pretty good >asian tourists always taking photos of the three white kids throwing a boomerang at the beach >so anyway as i said, camped by lake colac >this japanese guy is camped next to us >when i say camped I mean his car was there and that's it >he sets up a camera tripod aimed at sky >literally leans on his car drinking wine from a bottle and smoking ciggies from mid afternoon when we rock up to night time, does nothing else >he's wearing like a samurai robe and has a top knot, and those wooden ninja sandals >me and the boys get stoned >about 2am i go out of the tent to take a piss >decide to have some 'rang practice >me and the boys get the boomerang, put a cereal box up a tree and start trying to hit it with the rang >the japanese guy sneaks up on us >we have a chat, turns out he's a chef from tokyo on holiday, drove here from sydney, taking time lapse photos of the sky and shit >he asks if many people in australia throw boomerangs >we tell him yeah, everyone, damn near everyday, most common sport >we give him the 'rang, say 'hey, you should try man' >he throws the boomerang directly at the cereal box, impaling it, knocking it out of the tree >it falls to the sandy ground, boomerang stabs into ground >he yells out 'LOOKS LIKE IT IS DINNER TIME WHITE BOYS' >pretends to start eating the cereal box like its a wild animal he just killed >we laugh, go back into tent >middle of next day we're driving down the highway >realise that crazy dude still has our boomerang
>>599129 >be in folsom lake, CA for friend's birthday campout >have double the amount of people allowed in the camp spot >amplified music + a few underage drinkers + weed >suddenly >12 flashlights turn on, encircling the camp site >It's the rangers >we turn the music off & sit down while they poke around >they find weed, but someone produces a medical card and says it's all theirs >find weed in like 3 more tents >"that's mine too" coolface.exe >rangers w/e >they find some of the underage drinker's IDs >breathalyze everyone >"we really don't want to book all of you tonight" >let the ones who were under the limit drive everyone else out of the campground >never even asked me or my GFs name pretty bro-tier. then again, we set up far away from everyone else and had reserved enough space for the amount of people on the campground
> spend weekend camping with family at Martin Dies Jr. State Park, camp on the side where you can pull a boat up to every campsite > neighbors are half a dozen rednecks with a fuckall huge bass boat and jacked up trucks > could go either way > the first night, they're playing music and drinking.... still going at about 11:00pm > walk over, very nicely ask if they can keep it down because we're trying to get the kids to sleep > they immediately kill the music, apologize and offer a beer > who am I to refuse a beer? > start talking, drink more beer, stumble back to tent three hours later when they head out to check their trotlines > they even maneuvered their boat out on the lake with the electric trolling motor before firing up the gas motor > the next afternoon, get back from our daily activities and they're up > go say hi, get invited to a fish fry > that night, they throw in the fish they caught, I throw in some fajitas and a bottle of bourbon > much drinking and eating ensued, my wife gets playfully flirted with, we all have a wonderful time > the whole weekend was like that... they caught a hell of a lot of fish, we all drank a hell of a lot of alcohol (wife doesn't drink) and at dark like clockwork, the radio goes off and we hear nothing all night but the odd laugh
tl;dr: Be cool with people and they'll be cool with you.
> go out with wife for weekend, no kids > get to do this maybe once a year > set up camp, go walking on some trails, come back to find neighbors > they're a couple in their mid 20s, my wife's age > nice enough couple, we talk, everyone hits their tents for a 'nap' > the campground is dead quiet, hear the muted but unmistakable sounds of fucking > well, since we're here and all..... > an hour later, we all emerge and cook lunch at our respective sites > that night, play cards by lamplight, retreat to tents > fucksounds.wav > gorillafuck: ENGAGE > wake up next morning > louderfucksounds.wav > really, kids? Well ok, then.... > go at wife like a fucking porn star > try to lick her clit off, 69, hit every position in the Kama Sutra, anal, DP with a dildo, attempted fisting.... an hour of straight goddamned carnality that would make Ron Jeremy blush with shame > both orgasm several times, sound like a couple of Buffalo stuck in a tar pit > finally wobble weak-kneed out of tent to make coffee, other couple is looking > dude smiles and gives a thumbs up > you're goddamned right, Junior. You're goddamned right
My back was fucked up for a week because I'm 40 and retarded.
Sheeit, mang. You are obviously not married. You get a weekend without kids, you bring everything. I had wrist restraints.
The fun part is explaining to your coworker why a dildo fell out of your backpack just before you both climbed into your bunks for the night. I could have said that I was going camping with the wife the day I left work and that I had to pack everything the night before I headed out, but it's funnier to just look down, grunt and shrug your shoulders, knowing that for the rest of the night he wasn't going to get a damned wink of sleep.
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