>Somebody asks me if I'm Jewish
> "FUCK NO"
>Everyone avoids me the rest of the night
This is your fault /pol/.
>Someone asks what my "background" is
>Tell them 1/2 Chinese, 1/4 White, 1/4 Jewish
>B-but Jews aren't a race.
Even though they were the ones who brought up race, now I'm the racist for not considering Jews to be White.
>at uni pub
>person in group I just met hands me $10 to get a pitcher
>it was 9.99, told the bartender to keep the penny
>come back, guy asks for change
>tell him it was only 9.99, I left the penny there
>good opening for a joke
>add, "what are ya, Jewish?"
>said it in an old-timey 1930s film voice
>left the table after 20 minutes of being ignored
You're in my heart, OP. Over time, if you look, you will see the friends who appreciate you that you couldn't see last night. They are there.
>mfw i say jew all the time in public
if you act scared and meek when you say it, like you expect backlash, of course people will take offence to it
it you say it like it isn't a slur, and you shouldnt feel bad for saying it, nobody will give a shit
it helps if you arent a little bitch too
I don't think jews have this huge conspiracy or "run thew world" like /pol/. I just live near a large population of Orthodox Jews and their all separatist assholes.
So sometimes I come here to have a laugh, ya know?
Wow. The reddit peer pressure crew got here awful fast.
Thats right OP. Whatever your friends think is what you should think because they are properly steeped in mainstream media culture. Those friends are valuable and will be there the rest of your life to judge you.
Or at least 9-18 months. Assuming you are at least in your twenties. Less if you run out of beer money.
>walking with new friend between classes
>see black guy standing by a wall
>right next to a NatGeo poster of a chimpanzee
>nudge friend with elbow, just point at the spectacle while trying not to laugh
>he just asks "what?"
>just can't seem to get it
>start explaining the joke
>"that was a black guy"
>"he was next to a poster of a monkey"
>"....yeah... what are you saying?"
>"nothing dude, just weird heheh...heh"
>never speaks to me again
Me too, but I wouldn't ever repeat something from /pol/ in public, at my workplace, or around family.
Only my good friends who know my political views are okay with this because they know I don't take it seriously.
>not talking shit about everyone when in company
>but especially jews and blacks
Bonus points if you end the night with less friends than you started
Pretty much this. I don't actually believe in most of the shit on here, but it's kinda amusing and my friends and I have even been using casual racism as a means of removing troublesome or stuck-up people from our company. Works like a charm. Those unwanted SJW/skanks/hookups/acquaintances that seem to stick like shit to established groups of friends and that you can't seem to get rid of with politeness will fuck off right fast if you have a round of jew-jokes while drunk.
>what's the difference between a jew and a pizza?
pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven
>What's the difference between a piece of shit and a nigger?
When the piece of shit ages it turns white and stops stinking.
>not some autistic stormfag
>constantly say offensive jokes
>especially racist shit
>get invited to all kinds of stuff
>people bribe me with stuff to get me to show up
I was once in a pisstank in dublin where I explained to everybody how they were all inbred niggers that were too retarded to survive a non0ntive crop dying despite being on an Island surrounded by fish, it was a catholic neighborhood and I was wearing a bright orange sweater I had bought specifically for the occasion. Not only did I walk out with all my teeth (unlike how everybody else entered the place), they got me drunk as hell.
It's all in the delivery.
Not before Mossad figures out you are not one of them, then you are taken back to Israel as an international terrorist and executed. You have no say in the matter, and the US does nothing to protect you as a citizen.
If you try to go to South America you are assassinated. You are dealing with the most efficient killing machine on earth.
You are messing with the religion of death.
It's obvious, but non-Jews aren't supposed to talk about it. We're supposed to accept whatever labels Jews assign us.
Most people can tell that I'm not 100% White, but are surprised that I'm 1/2 Chinese. A handful of people have identified my as part Jewish
I occasionally drink with a Jew and his Jew buddies. The other Jews don't like me very much. Very Orthodox, but this one is ok. Me and him constantly make fun of the other Jews with Jew jokes. The best part is people who sit around us getting all butthurt. Sometimes someone will be like "You can't say that" and the Jew guy I know tells them to fuck off and shows them his star of David.
You obviously don't know how to properly socialize. I make racist jokes with strangers all the time. You just have to make it evident that you are fucking around. And if they are still pissed just make them feel bad for getting upset. "Jeez man, what are you racist? You can't appreciate a joke. What a buzkill you are" etc.
>I occasionally drink with a Jew and his Jew buddies. The other Jews don't like me very much. Very Orthodox, but this one is ok. Me and him constantly make fun of the other Jews with Jew jokes. The best part is people who sit around us getting all butthurt. Sometimes someone will be like "You can't say that" and the Jew guy I know tells them to fuck off and shows them his star of David.
That is just reinforcing Jewish supremacy. They (along with their chosen good goys) are allowed to make Jew jokes, no on else is.
>You obviously don't know how to properly socialize. I make racist jokes with strangers all the time. You just have to make it evident that you are fucking around. And if they are still pissed just make them feel bad for getting upset. "Jeez man, what are you racist? You can't appreciate a joke. What a buzkill you are" etc.
>Jeez man, what are you racist?
How is it reinforcing anything you fucking brainwashed turd? We laugh at our own stereotypes and make fun of those who take it too seriously. And when faggots try to ruin our fun we tell them to fuck off.
And your damn right I'll drop the racist remark. Because if they can just have a laugh none of that shit would matter, but instead they c choose to get their panties in a bunch, So I'll make them feel bad for trying to make me feel bad.
This reminded me of a situation I had a month ago.
>two hour international flight (London Luton - Katowice)
>short guy sitting next to me
>takes bottle of Bell's whisky out of his bag
>pours into tiny cup and takes a drink every couple of minutes
>an hour into the flight starts mumbling to no one in particular
>"...right...those fucking Jews...fucking kikes kurwa... I hate them so much... kurwa.... we should burn them all...gas them and burn them all... goddamn Jews ... Jews everywhere ... Auschwitz has a good location ... we should restart it ... Hitler did nothing wrong ... fucking Jews"
>mumbles like that for the reminder of the flight
>people sitting nearby look at him angrily but say nothing, I'm trying not to laugh
>15 minutes before landing he taps me on the shoulder
>guy: "...Are you a Jew?"
>me: "No, why?"
>guy attempts to take a sip from bottle but realizes it's empty, sighs
>guy: "b-best come clean you know"
>doesn't say anything until we land
What's with airports and red pills? I had some guy waiting next to me at customs start to rant because one of the girls working customs had a hijab on.
His breath smelled like cheap whisky and I pretty much just iced him out.
>At family dinner
>Have a few drinks
>Somehow Israel and Palestine come up
>Go on a huge anti-Israel, anti-Palestine, anti-Islam, anti-Judaism rant
Well now I'm a nazi in the eyes of my extended family. I'm a retard.
Copied from my own thread a month ago, yes. I wouldn't have missed the chance to share such a topical event with /pol/ when it happened.
Was at a Wendy's and saw a happy family consisting of a black man, white woman and mud baby. I had to stop myself because I was a split second away from shouting.
I mean it was like almost a reflex to shout that. And I used to be such a liberal in the 00's too. Fuck you, /pol/. :|
>Oy, if I had that luck...
you forgot to wring your hands
True story. I'm getting on a plane in Oklahoma City, flying to New York and for some reason, the TSA agent thinks I'm Jewish because my first name is David and I am from New York.
The agent tells me how he is a born-again Christian and loves the Jews. He gets me ahead of everyone and through the check point in seconds.
>tfw you know what it's like to be jewish.
>some bros come over for drinks
>tell them about da jews
>at first they're hesitant, soon they're drunk and laughing and making racist jokes
>now everytime we get together it's like a /pol/ meetup
Where do you guys find these loser friends?