I do the interviews/hiring for the ~800 Million USD investment firm I work at. My proper title is Senior Trashman.
Ask me why millennial are lazy retards who get their resumes thrown in the trash.
If you think people can't tell your picture is an amateur hour shop, Anon, you're just as dumb as the millenials you disparage. You didn't even bother to properly blend your text layer.
They lie about fucking everything. Every qualification is a lie or exaggerated.
Nah m8. We have shit that scans things into excel.
YA or you're helping foreigners from hult business school work on their fucking cv. If you were hiring for a wallstreet firm not all your cv's would be from one business school.
Let's see your Bloomberg terminal faggot.
Not this guy, but I have access to Bloomberg Terminal and I work in Toronto doing finance lmao
How important are social skills in general?
Say I'm good with numbers: can I work for you alone in some basement or whatever and make good money anyway or do I have to talk to non-autistic people all the time anyway?
I've had to do some pre-screening for a new member of our team.
>Resume says Bloomberg certified
>Go on Bloomberg
>Type in their name and their school
>Type in just their name
These people didn't even log in once on a fucking terminal.
That guy here. I used to work for a firm doing private banking and investing. We had a Bloomberg terminal. I have my own business now. I mean look at OPs pleb Aldo shoes ffs. Probably wears a timex as well.
I work in the area although I am not a trader but work amongst them. I will be blatantly honest from what I observed. Wall Street is all about nepotism. Every young guy is an Ivy Leaguer who is a friend or a son of someone high up. Connections are the most important thing in this industry from what I observed.
I suppose I can't really prove assets under management and all without leading to too many clues about which firm I work for, and I'd rather keep my job. If you knew anything about deal sourcing and the process of of lower/middle market private equity investment you'd know yelling hurr bloomberg terminal is a retarded thing to say.
I get bothered by retarded students like you all day while I try to work on financial models. They feel entitled to call my direct line and ask to speak with me during work hours.
I'm 24. I'm also borderline retarded, but I'm far enough across the border that I can function, whereas most people my age and younger cannot.
Mexique. 3$ Tecate for happy hour, and the chipolte butter grilled cornbread is fuckin awesome.
This nigga knows my feels.
Not very. Some of our staff work from home 75% of the time. Egotistical faggots tend to get hired and fired because its nice to torment frat boy faggots.
Recruiting at job fairs isn't a thing, huh? :^) How's the neet life going?
Watching a new analyst not know how to use functions in excel is rage inducing after filling in their paperwork. They're fired on the spot.
I wear $30 shoes as my daily drivers, comfy as fuck and I don't have to worry about getting them ruined in the rain. Salvatore Ferragamos for formal situations. The guys that dress designer every day are usually retards that just have a job and office so their family will invest in new funds the company is starting. There are two of them in my team and they just sit in the office talking to people on the phone and networking all day.
I'm hoping for something better like maybe cutting-edge econometrics and statistical modelling in general.
Coding? It's not something I do everyday but I've got various courses in C, C++, Java and Matlab in my curriculum.
I'm curious about how is the sector in Europe. When talking about this stuff Wall Street is pretty much always the first thought.
Lmao these people don't get it.
A PE firm doesn't really care about your stupid paper you retard. If you want to go write papers go to academia where the university gives you money to publish that drivel.
Unless this is some ground breaking method for valuating something (BSM). This guy sending the email isn't direct enough.
Just curious did you do your school in LUISS, Tor Vergata or La Sapienza, or did you do it at Bocconni in Milano?
how big of a faggot do you have to be to start a thread like this?
Lets be honest here. You're some undergrad fag that failed out of engineering major and went into econ. Now you've failed out of that after getting your results back from your finals this semester and you're butthurt about all your much smarter friends landing jobs and internships this fall while you pick a liberal arts major.
>They lie about fucking everything. Every qualification is a lie or exaggerated.
Yeah, but how the fuck would you even know? How can you tell the difference? Exactly, you can't, not without spending a ton of money to run background checks, and that shit burns into the bottom line, so guaranteed you only do that on people that the darts you throw at resumes on a wall that actually hit. That's why you're grossly overpaid to throw shit into the trash.
Hey, OP, while you're at work tomorrow let your boss know I'll do your job for half the salary. I'm willing to move by the end of next week, plenty of time for you to pack your shit.
>I'm curious about how is the sector in Europe.
Again non trader but I observe traders, London is the big Euro hub. We have a small skeleton crew in Paris but I interacted with them once in 5 years. It's all about the UK.
>Hey, OP, while you're at work tomorrow
No one works tomorrow the market is closed. If you are a moderately good trader you come when the market opens and leave by like 3 maybe 4 tops and never work the weekend. Some guy I know who is our top guy just hires underlings to do shit for him.
Nah m8, I'm coming from a mathematical engineering background at a Polytechnic. My curriculum right now is mostly about pure maths + lots of prob/stats + good amount of coding/numerical methods.
I'm gonna have to specialize soon and there's a good path towards applications in "financial engineering" as they call it.
Must be from a top tier school minimum.
If you know someone you are in. If you don't, find someone to make friends with. I work with people who got the job through nepotism and they are terrible and massive slackers but I can't do shit because their dad usually knows the CEO or some shit.
This dude's probably just above intern level, he probably gets asked to work Saturdays all the time. I bet his boss is the guy from Office Space. He just kinda comes over, coffee in hand, and says 'Hey, if you could work Saturday that would be grrreeeaaattt..' then walks off. Then OP sits there like the beta he is and fiddles with his fingers and silently curses the establishment.
I mean, I can glean all this shit simply from the fact that he's here, on 4chan, at /pol/ of all fucking places, posting what amounts to him gloating about his dead end office job throwing rejected resumes into the trash.
For quant roles the strong quantitative background engineering brings is good.
This is how firms hire people.
1) Connections ... Close family, friends, people close to firm, clients
2) Come from good school, excellent GPA, good background
2) That one really talented guy that excels in one area and is extremely passionate for the role
3) The rest.
Probably pretty accurate. He comes off as the skinny kid wimp who somehow broke through in a game of Red Rover by running into the girls, and is now on the other side laughing at all the other dweebs who can't make it in.
Who the fuck wants to be employed? Who is actually proud of being employed? In the past, employment was something humiliating, now it's embraced.
No reason not to have some web-based enterprise in 2015.
>PhD Physics this year
>Starting MFE program after PhD
PhD and MFE are from a top 5 school, undergrad at a top 10.
Is muh 300k starting just a meme or is it a possibility? What sort of jobs do you usually place my sort of technical folks in?
You would be surprised at how many Catholics and specifically Italian Catholics work on Wall Street. On Ash Wednesday it's more than half our office with that stuff on their forehead.
Are you talking about me? I am not a trader I said this to be more specific I am IT so I actually do work some weekends since we do our work in the small window of opportunity from when everyone stops trading Friday to Sunday morning when the Asians begin. I get compensated for it though. You sound like a bitter man.
200$ tie related
Yep. Generally they have rich families that invest 1-5 million in the fund their retarded nephew works on. Generally they sit in their office talking to family members asking for an allowance and for the family to write another check for a million so he can get his bonus
Direct investment SFO, focuses in PE and structured lending
My nigga. I waste so much time cleaning my inbox. I don't know how the fuck they get my email, I only give my card out to other professionals and it's unlisted publicly.
>all financial offices in manhattan are on wall street
Bill Ackman would like to speak with you in Pershing Square
Because when I ask them about their experience in financial modeling, for instance a valuation model, they don't know the core principles. Case in point, I hired one asshole that said he could handle a discounted cash flow, but could not calculate the weighted average cost of capital for discounting. They lie and they get fired.
Your resume will be fine. So long as it isn't clearly exaggerated bullshit, which is what 90% are, it gets honest consideration. One of the girls I hired was a studio art major, but was honest and good with excel.
See the above answer. Given how many resumes I have to throw away, unless you're going head to head with a comparable ivy league candidate your odds are just fine. I dropped out of an ivy league and finished at a really shitty borderline community college state school.
I'm down to just hiring a wildcard candidate now that my summer analyst team is put together. I think I'll take this into consideration.
HR is utterly useless. They just handle the paperwork and are completely hands off from candidate selection since last year.
Apply and don't bullshit. I read every application that comes in. I can tell when you're exaggerating and/or lying.
>shit, I thought things were different in the USA :-(
LOL no. Sorry. Start looking for some connections in Paris. We got like a 10 man team there so I imagine other American companies do as well.
Its a baseline and only adds marginally. Lying about this will trash you though.
Just sharing my experiences. I am an employee, but I do have people under me in my group.
Theres a certain standard in finance for resumes that has been used. It's crisp, clean and easy to read.
Fit & Reliability.
>instant trash because not qualified
>get fired or at least have a chance to learn on the go
Lying is clearly the superior choice
Had an internship last summer in the sales and trading division of a buldge bracket bank (rotated through cash equity sales and investment grade credit trading) in London but didn't make the cut to fulltime hire. It's not what you know, it's 110% whom you know.
LOL - 800 Million
Where's your office, a New Jersey strip mall?
>tfw some small-timer trying to play himself up as a big shot
I'm pretty impressive with excel but kinda embarrassed to put it on my resume. Seems dumb to put next to some other amazing programs I'm good at. Is there a way to say I'm good at excel without saying "proficent at microsoft excel."
Ugh. Typing that again made me cringe
>Bill Ackman would like to speak with you in Pershing Square
I have buddies that do trading midtown on Park Avenue and they would never say "I work on Wallstreet" like you kinda did in your OP. I actually am like 2 blocks away but I never say that either.
On the opposite end of the spectrum, what qualities in an applicant makes you realize they are someone you /want/ for the job? What tendencies do you see in people you hire who end up making a career there?
>all these degrees and still have no idea what you're going to do afterwards
sorry m8 but if you're this inept to the outside world you better start sucking professor dick because a life of academia is all you got.
>You sound like a bitter man.
And you sound like a huge fucking narcissist, because it takes two seconds to see who I'm talking about and it clearly wasn't you. I don't give a fuck about what you do.
I'm moving out of academia as fast as I can, it's turning into a cesspit.
How did you conclude that degrees=inept? All you know about me so far is that I've spent ~~10 years after high school at a top tier university earning the king of STEM degrees. How do you make your way from that to inept?
>Is muh 300k starting just a meme or is it a possibility?
It is, but it's doubtful you'll get it after that many years in academia. You'll need to have compelling work does that interests someone else you'll be viewed as a post-secondary welfare queen who isn't interested in being productive.
Time to get out of the classroom and find productive work, Sport.
Lmao congrats on all the degrees. But you've wasted your life getting these if you have no relevant work experience. People with MBA/CFA are 5 years ahead of you and are out earning you.
Salaries aren't just given based on qualifications. Academic ones at that. What happens is the employer looks at the possible pay he would have to give a PhD vs. your potential benefit .
Going past a masters or even undergrad without any work experience/internships is a one way ticket to academia land.
Like these you mean pleb?
Anyway have a good day trashing CVs.
Finally something I can answer from experience. If you are not experienced expect anywhere from $65-75k a year. If you are mid expect $90-$100. Senior $125+.
Note these jobs are one of the fucking hardest to interview for. God I get PTSD still thinking about all the places I interviewed, the questions everything. It's hard dude. But if you squeak by man you are set for life.
>10 years in school
>still haven't thought about getting a job
>still don't know wat do after school
>still don't know how to apply knowledge into a career
I can't wait for the I'm $700k in denbt and no jerb still working at starbucks and butthurt threads that are inevitable.
There's nothing wrong with that.
What I learned from my first internship at a boutique IB back in 09. Relationships are 80-90% of the business. Anyone can do the valuation technicals. Its all based on assumptions anyway. If people like you, they'll give you their business. The MD I worked under got business from which he made $500k from himself because a friend liked him more than the RBC guy.
Lying is fine. Life is pragmatic.
Do a cost benefit of lying and being caught.
Lie where there won't be any damage, no way to reference or find out easily.
" I know C++ and VBA" . Okay build me a simple function that says "Hello World" .
Physics PhD programs are full support, I have zero debt.
I've published research in reputable journals, increasing the wealth of human knowledge of how the universe works, and spent a good amount of my time teaching physics and math to undergrads. But no, you're right, your shift manager gig at Five Guys is more productive/worthwhile to society.
>Lying is fine.
Depends on employer. If you have an autistic employer who is so socially inept that he basically opens a pdf with your resume on it each time before he interacts with you, then lying on a resume or in an interview is going to get you in serious trouble.
Source: I had an employer just like this. Thankfully I've never lied on a resume.
Finance is about the sell.
You can leverage that as experience if you're going to try and get into a very specific industry.
For example I have PhDs /CFA in geophysics who cover M&M sector. Makes them much more valuable since they know industry.
Holy shit I can attest to this
Recently had an interview, had written two exams for these people and this interview was the second exam
First was just examples of programming
And then a phone call that asked me practical questions which included off topic questions such as "can you actually do this"
Now I wait and pray to get called in
But if I get this, I'm set with a cushy job man.
You are retarded if you think that all investment takes place in public markets. Lending and private equity both take up weekend time, though we generally work from home nights and weekends when it's busy.
I don't send them any correspondence. If you send a gentle rejection letter encouraging them to apply in the future, you get hounded like a motherfucker with questions asking why and accusations that you're racist/sexist/whatever.
Stormfront might kill me for saying it, but very few jews work in finance. The only ones I've met work for specialty lenders, commercial finance companies. It's mostly wasps and asians. I fucking hate asians. They all lie about their English language skills and aren't as good at math as the stereotype plays it.
I was recruiting from Hult in Boston last Friday. The classroom they let me hold interviews with was next to Google's. If you go to Hult Boston and you're reading this, I'm really disappointed that you would bullshit me to my face, and you know who you are because it was all but one of you. I hired the honest one today. :^)
With my firm's culture, just skills in excel and a familiarity with accounting. If you know how to build valuation models and complex amortization schedules you'd get an entry level position on the spot if you weren't a complete shithead. It's basic, but almost no one can. Most candidates wave their dick about stocks when my firm doesn't even fucking deal with them.
I'm Scots Irish by ethnicity. The Hibernian conspiracy is real. I was thinking about becoming a freemason but you have to donate to charity and I might as well be a Jew considering how cheap I am. No Jews at my firm.
Multiple page resumes make me cringe.
That describes more than 3/4 of my firm. I work nights and weekends all the time, mostly just shitposting on /pol/ about cuckolding and sweden while working in excel. Most of finance is dickwaving.
>Apply and don't bullshit
People wouldn't be bullshitting if you guys didn't put up extremely high qualifications for entry-level positions.
Too many dumb niggers are taking that shit seriously and wasting your time as a result.
All of your degrees make a company think
>"if we hire him, will he get bored and just end up pursuing another degree?"
Seriously, you're the reason there an expression called "stuck in the ivory towers." You're borderline unemployable
Well I have a different perspective on life.
Killing is fine too. As long as you are willing to do a risk reward analysis for yourself and see if the chance of being in jail for 25 years is worth eliminating someone from this Earth.
>being mass-thrown in the trash
hey man, I am about to graduate from a top 10 B-school (that's heavy finance recruiting tilted)
I didn't have a finance/consulting summer internship. Any recommendations?
>But no, you're right, your shift manager gig at Five Guys is more productive/worthwhile to society.
Love this. I really love how there are these "pick yerself up by yur bootstraps" faggots on here who think working hard as an employee is somehow virtuous.
Employment is hell. It is a purgatory between life and death. Hard work is not a virtue.
You autists truly crack me up. You re precisely what is wrong with Western culture.
>Stormfront might kill me for saying it, but very few jews work in finance. The only ones I've met work for specialty lenders, commercial finance companies. It's mostly wasps and asians. I fucking hate asians. They all lie about their English language skills and aren't as good at math as the stereotype plays it.
Confirmed for working in a shit tier firm.
No internship? You're fucked.
my advice, delay graduation. Every time you apply to a job, 5-10 other people with the same degree (or better) will be applying except they have experience.
Nobody wants to hire a person who's only responsibilities in life have been homework, no matter how hard it is. They want practical experience
OP is an internal recruiter. It's literally a shittier, less reputable position than HR.
Why are you people acting like he's some banker hotshot? I was an agency recruiter for a while and the most useless agency recruiters who couldn't handle the pressure went on to be internal recruiters like OP. He's a fucking hack.
I'm a soon-to-be finance graduate currently interning in the muni credit department of a local firm, we have ~5b+ under management.
Once I graduate, I'm not really sure where to go. I'm hoping that I'll get a position at my current firm, but that is obviously not guaranteed.
What's the best way to get my foot in the door in a decently sized investment management firm? I'm currently getting ready to take the CFA lvl1 in december and will be getting my Bloomberg Essentials training on a weekend in the near future.
Getting bitter on the internet isn't productive.
You're actually right, there aren't that many Jews in finance in Toronto either. Mostly just rich, white 3rd generation Canadians with golf course homes.
> Israel 2.0
Jesus we had an applicant once that sent a resume 4 pages, my HR associate sent it around the office for laughs since this guy's best work experience was a clerk at walmart.
I have interviewed for java and c# positions. The big 3 languages seem to be c#,c++ and java not in any particular order. You can't go wrong knowing any of them.
As for questions first round is usually phone HR screener. Next is a technical screener where they ask you rapid fire questions about the language you are interviewing for. So say it's java. Why do we use java. What's garbage collecting. Tell us about OOP. What is inheritance. What is polymorphism. Many times they also ask SQL/Oracle questions since that is big so you'll get bullshit questions about join and which join is best to use.
Next step is face to face. You may get more of above. A lot of the times you get the bullshit math riddles everyone hates. Sometimes they put you on a dry erase board and ask you to draw diagrams and create databases. They also want to make sure you aren't an autist. Sometimes this is it. Sometimes you gotta meet the whole team you work with and they all quiz you. I interviewed for a position in Bloomberg and they made me go to a site over the phone and type out c++ code as the manager watched. Bullshit about making sorted arrays with values the user inputs.
Even when you do well they might just fucking turn you down no reason. I have found being white and savvy helps get jobs because I am not an Indian and don't have an accent thus reverse affirmative actions works for me.
Mate please help me out here. I am 3 years into a double degree of Math and Computer Science. My course is major in applied math and business analytics, after that I want to do a masters in quantitative or mathematical finance, how likely am I hope to be employed?
I am in B-school. I had plenty of real experience in international business and planning, just non-finance related. I can DCF/LBO/A/D and generally know my way around excel, and I have been building slide decks for 7 years. Just not in IB.
plus I prefer MM rather than BB.
Still keep bashing my head, but it's the only type of job I see myself doing ( fuck consulting for real)
too slow bud, google/10. I like how your questions are all just general bullshit that you found on the internet, you're lying out of your ass m8.
>A lot of the times you get the bullshit math riddles everyone hates.
>Sometimes they put you on a dry erase board and ask you to draw diagrams and create databases
>Sometimes you gotta meet the whole team you work with and they all quiz you.
and what questions do they quiz you with?
It's so fucking obvious you're bullshitting when you give ZERO details.
This is true. At my old firm we had single clients with 50-80 million in assets. Our minimum was about 750k if I remember right. We were a boutique private service and dealt mostly with hedge funds and a lot of overseas (read: corrupt as fuck chinese) money.
You don't have a single tangible accomplishment mentioned.
You list way to many languages/frameworks. If you're applying for, say, a database job at a company that uses php + mysql are you going to hire:
>a jack-of-all-trades, master-of-none
>a guy who only does php + mysql
Do your CFA, but don't complete it until you are employed FT.
How to get your foot in the door? Network. Like crazy.
In undergrad I was coming from a non-target school, but I loved finance, did 2-5 coffees every week. Your network builds like seeds, and once an opportunity comes up if you're the right guy they'll go to you.
>35% average returns since founding
>the ideal research candidate will have a PhD in Computer Science, Mathematics, Physics, Statistics, or a related discipline
Do you know shit about anything? Much of modern finance (quantitative finance and in particular high frequency trading) was shaped by Physics PhDs who changed fields after the Cold War. This is incredibly common knowledge, I'm surprised you don't know.
I guess you don't deal with machine learning or statistical analysis at all?
I've only started learning R and I know I'll never work at a hft or prop firm but just curious about that side.
Dunno I just use rootScope and scope
I guess rootScope encompasses the entire app while the scope could be just limited on the controller, I did encounter using another scope for another directive but that's it
>tfw all this shit wouldn't mean anything once angular 2 hits
>tfw you list a bunch of languages and frameworks you don't know
>tfw companies have been developing on angular 1.x for years and aren't going to shit can all their work just to re make it in the new update
ok m8 then tell me about how controllers are handled in angular 2
People who are working say they miss school more often than People in school say they wish they were working. Get your credentials while you can or you'll end up working retail. Degrees mean almost nothing without experience.
Off the top of my head I remember getting this one once:
One interview the manager asked me to go on the board and design a basic database that represents how Amazon.com does business. So I had to make tables for account information, stock, inventory and create keys and join them so it made logical sense. That specific one wasn't that hard.
>and what questions do they quiz you with?
General programing questions. Theory. Surprisingly very little syntax but sometimes you do get a snippet of code and they ask you to tell them what's wrong with it. Most of the time you write pseudo code. A lot of it has to do with sorting arrays or dynamically changing arrays.
>It's so fucking obvious you're bullshitting when you give ZERO details.
Why are you so mad? I answering what you are asking. Not everyone who posts on 4chan is bitterly unemployed. Sure I have other problems that draw me to here but employment and programming isn't it.
OP i am a Mellenial and I live in NYC
What kickin job could i get on wall street that pays real well. And what certs can i get without having to go to college. I am really good at using a study guide and acing test. Was thinking about a series 7, but i don't know what being a broker would entail.
Question is there a difference between EET's and Electrical Engineers. I keep being told they are the same
>inb4 lazy millennial doesn't want to go to college
I am already here and it feels like a sand pit for debt and time wasting.
We don't consider GPA at all. Some of the smartest autists have shitty grades.
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills.
It's a meme. A lot of managing directors make around 300k. You'd probably wind up in the public markets with that background doing fancy computer shit my firm doesn't deal with. If you're really social you do well in PE.
Yep. Lots of Irish and Italians.
No, I was recruiting from a job fair. I get resumes in all sorts of formats. I like ones that use fonts like in paperback books. Gentium book basic. Puts me in a good mood if you use it.
Yes, and I have before. He was a pretty hardcore autist and ended up leaving for some shitty job as an analyst for Staples or something.
You would have to lean pretty fast m8
That feel. Waiting for a 200MM capitalization event to be able to wave the company's 1B dick. To be honest though it's nice working for a smaller firm. We only have two teams so it's not a gigantic clusterfuck when the firm is all hands on deck for big projects.
Put your exact excel capabilities on the resume. It's one of the first things that we look for.
Yeah I am kind of an autist, but whatever.
Someone that isn't from the city, has advanced excel knowledge, and work experience that doesn't look like they sat around making copies for some big firm because their uncle works there.
Nope. We do most of our work in excel templates that the team built collaboratively. We also rely on Mambu for a lot of our lending, which is otc.
300k starting is not a fucking possibility unless you're some savant that got a mega bonus because you made some cash cow algorithm for use in public markets.
Lmao. There are only so many Quant HF out there. Which one are you going to work for? What relevant experience do you actually have?
You're the one asking for advice ;^)
Unlike OP, I can't be associating myself with 4chan, don't need to get doxxed.
But I work with a portfolio focused on energy in Toronto at a global firm.
Go get experience. I can't help you. Approach people and show that you genuinely care about finance. Continue following up with people and applying to positions for internships. My first internship was in a boutique, I worked for free. Was getting lunch with the guy and he tells me now they even get MBA applicants without posting a job to work for free.
Anyway op sorry for hijacking your thread.
Cheers and keep trashing.
>literally posts google'd interview questions, links included
>expects me to believe hes a software engineer
retard pls go.
>Most of the time you write pseudo code.
so what was the pseudo code that you wrote?
>but sometimes you do get a snippet of code and they ask you to tell them what's wrong with it.
what was the snippet of code that they gave you?
again zero fucking details nice try nigger.
I wouldn't get in to high frequency trading these days anyways to be honest. It seems like a house of cards--- as soon as the smallest amount of regulation is imposed it all collapses.
I know that the MFE program here recruits heavily from Physics/Math PhD programs. Apparently ~~20% of the students in a given year have that background. Most of them end up going into strats and modeling apparently. My secondhand anecdotal evidence is that all else being equal, having a PhD in a technical field gets you a better position with a bigger salary than just the MFE alone.
Have you ever hired a nigger, and if yes- - why?
My Grandfather smoked his whole life. I was about 10 years old when my mother said to him, "If you ever want to see your grandchildren graduate, you have to stop immediately." Tears welled up in his eyes when he realized what exactly was at stake. He gave it up immediately. Three years later he died of lung cancer. It was really sad and destroyed me. My mother said to me- "Don't ever smoke. Please don't put your family through what your Grandfather put us through." I agreed. At 28, I have never touched a cigarette. I must say, I feel a very slight sense of regret for never having done it, because your post gave me cancer anyway.
Hey OP! What kind of money do the people you're hiring make? I've wondered if the hype about investment industry and wallstreet in general is actually real.
Quick question what do you value a Former Air Force Officer with a TS clearance whose unit was in charge of protecting the entire Air Force Network from intrusions. Basically knowing all the ways cyber actors get into your shit that most people don't notice. 8 years exp
"You keep it going man, you keep those books rolling,
You pick up those books your going to read
And not remember and you roll man.
You get that a sociate degree, okay,
Then you get your bachelors, then you get your masters
Then you get your master's masters,
Then you get your doctron,
You go man, then when everybody says quit
You show them those degree man, when
Everybody says hey, your not working,
Your not making in money,
You say look at my degrees and you look at my life,
Yeah i'm 52, so what, hate all you want,
But i'm smart, i'm so smart, and i'm in school,
And these guys are out here making
Money all these ways, and i'm spended mine to be smart.
You know why?
Because when i die, buddy, you know
What going to keep me warm, that right, those degrees."
I'm leery of it though--- I'm not well enough acquainted with the field to know whether or not you're marketable elsewhere in finance if you go all in to high frequency trading. What happens if you're only there for a year or two before PRESIDENT ELIZABETH WARREN is elected and shits all over everyone's good time?
That what I was hoping for, I really hate angular 2 why would they do that.
To answer your question,
I don't know, they say its probably going to be similar to directives but I'm really resistant to change with that.
It's not that I don't know those language/frameworks I just know enough to exploit it.
There are only 4 languages in my resume
JS, (iOS) Objective C, Java(Android), PHP
(PHP stuff were done to integrate the java backend to multiple ecommerce sites using PHP stuff meaning I needed to learn their frameworks but not entirely)
I have the app on the appstore
Plugins on wordpress plugins, and some of our merchants(using magento/EC-CUBE) uses the plugins I've built
Company website using my theme
Like a script kiddie I only need to know enough to use them, No freaking way I'm gonna learn the entire framework when the only thing I need to do is integrate our system with them.
>>literally posts google'd interview questions, links included
Do you fucking expect me to remember the full question with exact numbers for a position I interviewed 2 fucking years ago? I remember I had a rope bridge question so yes I googled it which is the only thing I googled.
>so what was the pseudo code that you wrote?
I already told you, you get mostly questions about arrays and sorting and dynamic expansion because that is a good indicator at the junior level that you paid attention in college. They like to have you make binary search algorithm's for example and do the Fibonacci sequence. Sometimes make anagram like programs.
>what was the snippet of code that they gave you?
From my two year old interview I remember the code ultimately threw an array out of bounds exception.
>again zero fucking details nice try nigger.
I am giving you nothing but details but you clearly sound like a bitter angry fuck projecting hard in this thread. You a failed developer? No degree and bullshit certs annoyed that no one will hire you? Frustrated that Bestbuy discontinued the Geek Squad so you can't act like king beta anymore?
Is there an age limit with internships and how odd is it to see someone around thirty doing it?
I spent my early twenties working in bars and partying before going to uni and getting a degree in physics and astrophysics so my work history (although a decade long) isn't really applicable in this instance, other than me having fantastic interpersonal skills and being as far from the typical physics autist as you can get. I would imagine the age thing precludes me from getting a bottom-rung dogsbody placements or am I talking shit? As far as I can tell, my skillset would make me ideal for some sort of analyst position but where would someone in my circumstances start?
Would like to invest in some derivatives, goy? How would you like forward contract on fuel prices, the price is only going to go up.
>Like a script kiddie I only need to know enough to use them, No freaking way I'm gonna learn the entire framework when the only thing I need to do is integrate our system with them.
That would sound great in an interview
Also I have the hankering for a red horse after seeing your flag.
The buckles are so nice. :3
Boutique IBs are funny like that. I respect guys on sell side M&A. Getting your retainer from shithead low/middle market family business owners makes some guys go batshit. People actually believe that it's optional.
If you ever end up in a position where you have to hire people, you quickly realize that question lists are completely useless and only retarded women in HR find them useful.
It's kind of hard not to be. Most people try to make my job as difficult as possible, even after I give them a shot. I try to be nice. We lost one of my favorite interns to another firm today so I got the team a case of beer for lunch. Really hard not to lose your shit sometimes though.
Don't you fucking tell me about qualifications asshole. The only key qualifications are intermediate excel knowledge and a college degree or one in progress, and 90% of people fail to meet the former. The rest is how you fit on the team, knowledge of accounting, and misc. experience that may be of use in M&A or lending. We take in everyone from social butterflies to complete autists.
Land a job as a lumberjack or something else that is fucked up, but still a beneficial life experience. We actually fought to get a candidate that did this and he ended up doing some physical labor instead.
I don't interview for software devs, but it looks nice enough. If you really were in charge of as many projects as your resume implies I would ask to see a full CV and detailed descriptions of your projects like I do for analysts.
We don't have jobs like that in the USA. Associates and senior analysts do recruiting. Here people go to work because there is work to be done, not because they need to be busy while the government imports as many pakistanis as quickly as possible.
>I have the app on the appstore
Put the name of the app on the resume
>Plugins on wordpress plugins, and some of our merchants(using magento/EC-CUBE) uses the plugins I've built
Put the names of the plugins on the resume
>Company website using my theme
Put the website on the resume
Congrats, you're now hirable
What are your hobbies, besides browsing Taiwanese funny picture-forums?
>Don't you fucking tell me about qualifications asshole. The only key qualifications are intermediate excel knowledge and a college degree or one in progress, and 90% of people fail to meet the former. The rest is how you fit on the team, knowledge of accounting, and misc. experience that may be of use in M&A or lendin
I have the excel knowledge, finishing my master's in Accounting, have work as a staff for 18 months and was an A/R analyst 3 years prior. Studying for the CPA exam soon. How much do these positions pay?
OP I'm pretty smart, and studying Comp Sci right now, but I'm also in to math history physics and stuff.
What do I study so I can get hired and make massive amounts of money
I want to retire when I"m 30. How?
Oh I know guys like you, I've met plenty. I like to get drunk and break your pretentious faggety little nose and take your pussy home.
You guys always look for bugs, hope to find something you know they don't, keeps you up high above but you never take on what people know that you don't. Guys like you are pieces of shit and the reason why corporate is shit.
>tldr; You can only be as good as the guy hiring you, in his own term.
Ask if any of your associates/VPs/MDs know anyone in the SFO space that is looking for help. SFOs offer a lot more room to grow and all the MDs in them know each other. It's like its own decentralized entity with opportunities in direct investment and manager allocations.
I am le ebin trashamn xDDD cuck cuck cuck
You'll do fine. Seriously. I can't think of a /pol/ack being as bad as half the asians that apply unless you're a hardcore neet or /v/irgin. I can imagine /v/ would produce the most horrible fucking candidates of all time.
Networking is kind of mediocre advice. I don't tell people who I am at events or when I'm recruiting. We don't give out our cards and if we're asked our names we say that we prefer Mr. Smith or Ms. Rogers.
Sorry, missed your post. The ideal is 1 page. Have a full CV ready if it's requested to supplement this.
Commercial finance companies always have the hottest babes working for them. You need to have a college degree though, unless you're connected or an autistic savant. Entry level analyst at a finco is fuggin awesome. If I had to do it all over again that would be the route I would pursue.
It's ok canada bro. I've worked on leveraged transactions with canadian lenders and always thought you guys were alright. Theres a lot less bullshit than from US lenders. One of the first lenders I ever worked with on a transaction was based in Miami and would take conference calls while playing golf. He can eat shit, such a fuggin lazy jew boy.
No. The only one that ever applied was 36 years old and only had two years of work experience in his life and came from Ivory Coast with bad English skills. He was just so out of place I had no idea what the fuck was going on.
Anywhere from 30-120k. Executives for our portfolio companies are not my choice alone though.
>I don't interview for software devs, but it looks nice enough. If you really were in charge of as many projects as your resume implies I would ask to see a full CV and detailed descriptions of your projects like I do for analysts.
Will do a CV in addition to the resume
Already hired btw
$33k a year
kinda big in a 3rd world country
>Do you fucking expect me to remember the full question with exact numbers for a position I interviewed 2 fucking years ago?
I do, my friend is an ACTUAL software engineer and he told me everything that he went through with exact detail. My other friend who applied at google did the same thing and gave me actual questions that they asked. Stop being a fucking faggot and lying through your ass faggot.
What question did your friends get?
>Stop being a fucking faggot and lying through your ass faggot.
Awwww someone is bitter they have a shit retail job. Also autist don't think I didn't notice that you blew off the rest of my post where I went into full detail.
nobody wants to work anymore.
oooh "wall street" so fucking what.
no one is happy with just a regular fucking salary. everyone wants to start off making close to 6 figures. most of of the time it won't happen, especially nowadays.
finish college and get some real work experience. live your life. don't cry and complain and shivering in terror because you are making less than 100K a year.
most people can survive off of 25K a year and relatively comfortably but everyone wants to be this high flying high rolling "excecutive" in a fancy suit. it is pathetic.
Jokes on you, our IT infrastructure is just an office printer and some wireless routers. Everything else is provided by google and mambu, muh cloud computing buzzwords.
I answered earlier that age doesn't really matter. I hired an intern analyst in his 30s who was doing an MBA program. No one really gives a fuck unless you're being interviewed by a superficial trust fund kid who shouldn't be conducting interviews in the first place.
Its a rough job since it's a shitty useless degree and most marketing is outsourced or done by other departments in most businesses today. What jobs are left are competitive as fuck.
I'm a retarded faggot but I have a large collection of rare pepes.
She was a rape victim and the rapist made her swallow his load. No lie. Google the thread title, too busy answering shit to right now but I'll come back to it if I catch up.
Cooking, drawing, masturbating, and posting cuckolding threads
You know this is weird because I've noticed it's by firm. I'm the tallest in my office at 6'1'', average height is like 5'7'' or less. Some firms the guys are all taller than I am, some are full of short guys. I think it has to do with networking and internalized bias in the hiring process.
depends on what city, but between 40k and 50k unless you're in something like a six month program where you would make 15-30 annualized.
u wot m8 stop fucking bullshitting about how getting coffee for your uncle at this construction business makes you a qualified credit analyst.
24 years old, someday I will be in the corner office while generation who gives a fuck goes on about how millennials had it sooo easy.
I'd imagine thats bretty fuggin good in pinoy land, congrats
SFO single family office. It lets you operate as an unregulated entity provided that you don't utilize outside money. So, no LPs, only GP money
Yes goy, don't worry about money. In fact, why don't you let me hold on to yours for a while?
I was recruiting at a shitty business school in Boston.
muh suit muhfucka
Since I caught up:
le reddit dot cum /r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/33hciu/i_swallowed_my_boyfriends_cum_for_the_first_time/
>Jokes on you, our IT infrastructure is just an office printer and some wireless routers.
That's cool, but lot's of other companies have larger IT infrastructures, and IT majors are in decline while there is a larger than average growth in our field. So I guess some other company will have to rely on a lazy retard millennial like me.
Why didn't you just get a six figure job straight out of high school and buy a big house in the suburbs, anon?
huh, never have heard the term SFO but thanks for upping my acronym vocabulary. seems like that would be a pretty decent place to be, considering the way they operate. people that run them, based on what i've read, are akin to highly personal CFPs for families.
thanks. any more tidbits you'd like to share?
I don't really care. It is just I am 32 with no debt and a car fully paid for. I got a job offer today for 32K and I was like "woah! that's great!"(i've made more before but where i live and with my circumstances this is pretty good) and then i see these kids getting out of school and thinking they are going to earn six figures and it is funny to me. I could easily live off 32K and it is just funny seeing people biting their nails and squirming and bitching about working for some "firm" somewhere like they are an 80s hotshot.
whatever, man. i don't play their game. I live on the edge and do what I want. I don't even have experience in the field i was hired for, they just saw I hiked through the mountains for 6 months and were like "woah, you're cool" and i got the job. im not pretending to be what I am not and i don't think i am entitled to anything more than a place to rest my head at night and food on the table.
I know what you're trying to catch me in here, our job market is under-saturated, and people are fighting over positions like mine. But with handling a company's IT infrastructure, many critical services and lots of important data would be in my hands. Employers use 4 years degrees as a measure against hiring fuck ups that may compromise these things. So I guess you could say I'd be getting that 6 figure salary as soon as I'm out of college. In the end, because of the short demand and necessity of big data, they'd still be relying on a lazy retarded millennial. So your whole argument is moot when applied to my field.
target starts at what, 10 bucks an hour? if you're LUCKY. I am making about 666 a week, that's pretty good. you're just deluded and you have no concept of self worth beyond a high paying job.
I consider it good pay. I don't have any hang ups about it at all.
wtf are you talking about? I live in Fairfield County, CT. Rent in the area where I live is about 1000K a month. all expenses put together(food, gas, insurance, internet) and I am looking at maybe 1600 a month. That leaves me with roughly 600 a month extra counting out taxes.
A SFO can have multiple general partners, which can be confusing for people. Generally ones that are actually organized for families invest in fund managers, while wealthy individuals that use it as a personal investment vehicle tend to rely on direct investment. All the MDs in SFOs know each other and there are a million events hosted involving SFOs by Opal Financial.
32k isn't bad for a lot of the country. If your rent is $150/month that's pretty decent.
I swear to god if half of them learned excel and were honest about their prior responsibilities, my trash would be much less full. I even put together a spring program for people with no background in finance. Only two people were honest about their lack of experience and both got in.
Why would I overheat my shredder with hundreds of resumes and make a fuckton of confetti that requires me to change my trash bags? There's nothing personal besides name and email on them. Only a handful even left phone numbers.
Just going to stop replying to me after I out jewed you?
>32k isn't bad for a lot of the country. If your rent is $150/month that's pretty decent.
>Seriously dude, but fuck you, man. What do you need in your life that can't be paid for with 32k annual salary? If you want more, go out there and make yourself worth more.
Yeah I was making 40K and I felt like I had more money than I knew what to do with. It is amazing how little we need to get by in life. I'd rather have an easy job that pays me enough to get by than some stressful, highly competitive job just so I can drive around in a more expensive hunk of metal with for tires or sleep in a more expensive structure that shelters me from bad weather.
32K entry level is not bad. And I am not that old. it isn't like my life is over. everything is in passing. learn to enjoy the small things.
i mean, if you want to be a high roller high flyer more power to you but there is no shame in making a modest income.
IT is oversaturated as fuck, and this is only going to get worse as PCs and generic workstations finish being replaced with iProducts and 'cloud'
You're going to be competing with guys who only have an A+ Cert and 10-25 years experience under their belts gunning for those same network infrastructure and data jobs and they'll get the consideration first because they'll have what you don't have: experience.
another question OP
on the subject of secondary skills, what in your area is deemed important? stuff that is outside the usual required for a job (using excel, being competent, getting along), like second languages or something like that?
>tfw 24 and have gained amazing real job experience over the past year as well as a $20,000 pay increase
keep tossing the other guys in the trash anon, LOL
no but seriously.
go over to JHE and beg the engies to give you a job when they make it to upper management.
Alrighty OP, your picture looks photoshopped as fuck but let me try and elicit an amusing response.
I am 24, unemployed, living off of disability, without any degree or any skills that could get me a degree.
I have a crippling non-verbal learning disability, no talents at anything, a piss-poor work ethic, and an extreme case of apathy/depression. I was either heavily bullied or a social outcast for most of my life, which along with a long list of drama and family issues like watching my mother try to kill herself with sleeping meds when I was 9, and a whole host of other traumatic events which I will not go into has left me socially retarded and highly distrustful/spiteful towards other people.
I am an outcast even amongst other outcasts. Literally the bottom of the barrel. A kissless virgin. All the few friends I had had betrayed or forgot about me when they went to college.
The only thing I have going for me is that I am a 6/10 and normal weight not some fat neckbeard
What are my chances of being hired, assuming you actually are who you say you are and are not just a highly involved troll?
None, go to community college at least.
Well, looks like a wrecked OP with >>44212821, I'm out.
Does wall street really hire MDs in a consultant capacity?
Im a med student that is already sick of patient care. Obviously I need to do residency get my license but I always hear this is an option. Is it really though?
Your chances would be higher if you stop blaming the world for you being a worthless, unskilled, muh depression faggot. Find a bottom of the barrel job, save your money, get an education, and climb the ladder. That's all
I am not OP but here is my advice:
you need to get yourself a job to get experience. 24 is still very young.
call up a temp agency and get some experience under your belt. put something interesting on your resume so they remember you. that means you have to do something interesting, that will make you stand out as someone with character.
Morons that get shit degrees do this.
If you go and get an MBA you'll live. But that requires you to qualify and be able to afford an MBA. If I were you I'd check out the colleges and/or trades.
Also I do hear the army is hiring, so you could go there.
>Implying I am blaming the world for my failures.
I am painfully aware of my uselessness and that it is my fault. I see no reason to contribute to a society which has shunned me, however. And even if I did, I never could improve myself if I tried however. I'm fairly retarded.
I guess I'll just continue living off your tax dollars until the day of the rope clears me out.
I was lazy in high school and college. I only had one job in college that lasted for less than a year. Am I fucked now? It seems like everywhere I interview people are expecting much more than that. How many jobs do most 21 year olds have under their belts?
Lol. You are touched by the gods.
As someone who has your condition, I have one piece of advice
>learn to use your talents to lead, then crusade for a higher power
>a dyspraxic who fails to fight, will fail to live.
>literally, Einstein, Marx, Hitler, and Churchill all had the condition
It's an awful, but powerful, curse to be born with Germanic shaman genes.