give me a legitimate reason to why you havent killed yourself yet
>tfw yeast infection
robots will never know the pain of having a vagina
You want to come itch my vagina and pull back a hand of cottage cheese discharge
>Want to start online dating
>Scared someone I know will find my profile and I'll become a laughing stock
Does anyone know these feels?
Don't worry, it's not like you'll be getting attention from anyone besides spambots.
Girls on dating sites all either have insanely high expectations, or have something seriously wrong with them.
So I've been together with my gf for over 4 yrs. We have a lot of trust and are very open with eachother about our feelings so somewhere around our 2nd yr we were discussing fantasies and things that turns us on and I told her about my desire to do anal(giving) and piss play(me pissing on her). She told me If I wanted we could try piss play as long as it was in the shower but she was very uncomfortable with the idea of anal sex. I didn't insist on it but a few months later she told me she has been reading up on anal sex and she would be willing to give it a try as long as we took things slow. So for a month or so we worked together in getting her ass to be able to take dick until we were finally able to make it comfortable for her. To this day we still have anal sex from time to time, it's awesome.
Recently the topic of sexual desires came up again and she told me a big fantasy for her is watching men together and how she had pictured me and her gay best friend having sex. I was taken aback and became suspicious that she was just either testing if I was gay or that her fag friend set her up to do this. So 2 days later I secretely checked her internet history for porn and found mostly yaoi(gay anime) sites, a forum with erotic tales of men together and even a bit of real gay porn. So yesterday we talked about the same thing again, I asked her if she was seriously considering this and I told her there was no way I would ever have sex with a dude. She then said she would be satisfied if there was no actual sex and she just watched her friend give me a blowjob.
So what the fuck do I do /fit/? I have really conflicted emotions about this, on one hand being able to fulfill her fantasies seems really hot, specially considering she's also willing to do the same for me, on the other hand the idea of interacting sexually with a guy, even if just to get my dick sucked is just too far out of my comfort zone. What should I do?
>inb4 no homo jokes
mfw I thought it would be a good idea to have dinner w/ my 14yo gf parents. I look really young though I think I pulled off at least 17.
tfw 23[, tfw they adored me/spoiler]
You are suddenly endowed with all of the powers that Superman possesses. Your body has been chiseled into the form of a Greek god, and your penis has been blessed by Lord Mandingo. Now what are some of the things that you are robots are going to do, now that you have been blessed with godlike powers, and the body of Super Chad.
>tfw permanent genetic dark circles under my eyes
JUST FUCK MY ENTIRE LIFE UP SENPAI
concealor bro. Make sure to get a good one so it doesnt clump up under your eyes and set it with a powder.
literally NO ONE will notice you're wearing make up and bam, no dark circles. You can even just get a BB cream or a tinted mosturizer if you want to go basic and still have coverage
>I would be embarrassed to go buy it
say its for your gf
>tfw you would be 8/10 if you didn't have dark circles under your eyes
>girls treat you differently when you aren't covering them up
If I stop fapping will I start having animalistic thoughts and getting hard at literally every woman I see?
>cheated on my girlfriend of one year yesterday while drunk
>feel horrible about it, afraid to lose her I tell her
I fucked up so bad. What the fuck do I do.
I know it's my fault, I just didn't think about the consequences at the time. I wouldn't do it sober, but I know that's no excuse. The threshold is just lower when drunk.
Jesus, this will all end badly. I'm such a fucking idiot.
Where da fuck my taco ass niggas at?
Let's talk about "meme" magic.
>the Isla Vista shooting happened right after the proto beta uprising pepe started circulating on/r9k/
>the 4U plane crash in Bains just like the /tv/ meme
>/pol/ memeing Trump to lead to lead the primary polls
>Lemmy from Motorhead dying of cancer just two days after being diagnosed just like /mu/ memed
What is going on?
It's because this is just a dream. Dreams always have a lot of recycled themes and details, and a lot of premonitions. You're asleep right now, anon.
>Just walked a gril 6 miles to her home in moderately heavy rain.
When we got to her house I found out she had a boyfriend thats barely hanging on to their relationship. We were both hurting alot and she feels bad for me, I told her Id be fine. Proceeded to walk 5 miles back in slightly heavier rain and am now at burger king. Am I winning?
Interesting extra, I found out the neighborhood she lives in is the same one I grew up in and moved out of 5 years back.
You sound like a stupid memer who everything he knows about life he learned on the internet, though OP is weak for walking a girl home 6 miles in the rain. Why the fuck would you do that?
This board is riddled with normie scum!! I'm fucking sick of it. Why can't you fuckers leave us alone! Fuck off back to Facebook, reddit or whatever normie scum social media you used to use.
It's simple, if you not meet ALL of the following robot requirements YOU ARE NOT A ROBOT AND SHOULD THEREFORE LEAVE
>no friends Irl
>no interest of EVER socialising in the normie world or...
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And what if I don't? U can't stop me from harvesting memes for my tumblr
>Fuck off back to Facebook, reddit or whatever normie scum social media you used to use.
it would have been more succinct to just say anyone with a normiebook account should fuck off back to there desu
So how is 2016 treating you so far?
Haven't done much of anything.
Got a fembot from omegle to give me her skype address. What do?
>Be a relatively good looking guy
>tfw only get hit on by 4/10 to 5/10 females.
I don't get why failed normies on this board have to cry into their vaginas about ugly girls wanting their dicks.
Just say no and walk off, emboldened by the confidence of somebody wanting you.
It's not like they can rape you or anything, they're just women.
This is normal OP. Try to be the man and go for the girls you find attractive.
Nobody said you need to settle for the fat chick who rests her head on your shoulders.
Maybe get a practice gf to become more confident and comfortable around women.