>be 3 years old
>have a extreme lack of common sense
>have mom put something you want on top of fridge
>hatch a plan
>push chair over to fridge
>have a step on the edge of the kitchen
>have one leg on the chair hanging off that step
>get on chair
>chair immediately falls over
>hit head on the corner of a table
>wake up to see your mom crying over you
>feel extreme pain on your head and scream bloody murder
>mom about to rush you to the hospital
>have grandma be over at the time
>let her sit at the table the entire time you were pushing the chair to the fridge
>have her be a retired nurse
>she says that you're fine
>mom will through you into the tub
>get a dent-like scar on your head that will never heal
>be premature birth
>doctor who is going to deliver me unfortunately is full blown DINDU
>uses forceps to pull me out
>puts two dents on the side of my head, and makes the brigde of my nose crooked
>left me with partial facial paralysis
>everybody was too stupid to sue
Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
How soon after a tragedy occurs does it become socially acceptable to joke about it?
Autists, as our own genetically and culturally destinct race, need our own Israel to escape the brutal oppression by normies and the impending FEMA autistic genocide.
I have a crush on a girl but has a bf.
I'm funnier than him.
I don't smoke weed then brag about it to everyone I know
I don't have braces.
I don't have autism.
I achieve higher grades than him.
Me and her are good friends make each other laugh.
We have long talks on Facebook. In one of them she explains that her bf can be a dick a lot.
I'm just better than him.
But she is supposedly in love with him and constantly takes his shit because of this delusion.
What's wrong with women?
>ask out grill
>later have relationship with her best friend
>no idea if she knows that I once had a thing for her bff
How should I tell my gf? Should Me and her bff both tell her, or just me?
> not immediately rubbing it in grill's face
Is your family tree a circle?
Robots, would you rather fuck a gf who had been fucked with:
A: one twelve inch dick
B: twelve one inch dicks
My fat fuck father just almost physically beat my mom because he's hungry for sweets and she "didn't get him anything all day", mind you the store is 2 minute drive away and he's been on the couch all day.
I bet your dad isn't as bad as mine.
Damn, what a piece of shit.
My dad never once hit my mom. Whenever they would get into fights, he would usually just end up beating me.
>not judging individuals on an individual basis
It's a kind of intellectual laziness. Racists would rather take a single incidental trait into consideration than look at the multiple traits that influence the worth of an individual, because doing so would be too much work.
Maybe you should invest in a dictionary at some point in your life.
So we have all seen this training video but has anyone else tried it? Does it actually work?
I'm fairly bad at fingering and want to try something new but I'm afraid of making fool of myself, any tips on this?
No, you have to go through foreplay. I guess you could just start trying to get her off but it probably won't be very pleasant. Better to get her into it, get her aroused and then blow her mind with it.
At least how I'd want it done.
>tfw hair getting long and you just dont give a shit anymore
who /longmessyhair/ here? I just wear a beanie whenever I'm working and it all works out fine
My hair doesn't really get long like metal hair, it just turns into a mullet, sort of. It's wavey. At least it is incredibly low maintenance. I don't hide it, I simply buzz it after a while.
I wanted to try having long hair so I grew it out for two years. Was really annoying, really hard to care for, always in my face, the whole nine yards, so I just recently cut it short again and I like it much better
haven't cut my hair in 2 years senpai. I used to wear a beanie too but when it started getting too long I just started manbunning it. Doesn't look great but I'm ugly anyway so a short cut wouldn't help
I have a pretty weird question but I think I masturbated wrong for 10 years.
Does your hand directly touch your head or does it stay on your skin (uncircumcised thread only) ? Because i have some light phimosis and think my head is oversensitive as I never touch my head unless in the shower.
>go to bar
>dance for the first time in my life
>with some lonely milf first
>later I'm confident/drunk
>I ask a fat chick with her friends if she wants to dance
>she says ew no
>a cute college girl next to her says she'll dance with me
Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
Who /Star Trek/ here?
How does /r9k/ feel about smartphones ?
I used to be against them...back in 2009. I had the "phones should be for calling people" mentality.
Then I got my first iphone, and now I can't live without one. Nothing like being able to troll /r9k/ on the go.
if they didn't exist, i might have a gf
Oh fuck DEFCON 1
How do I not fuck this up?
Go to her house and bring food/have her come to yours and order in food, eat while watching a movie when done eating start cuddling. I hope you can figure out the natural progression from their.