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How to live the comfiest life imaginable.
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You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001

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Sup Robots.

/Comfy/ guy here.

I have spent the past 5 years studying the art of comfiness and now, after much trial and error, I think I have it down to a science.

Many people think that becoming /comfy/ is about having as few responsibilities as possible, or even being NEET. As we shall see, this approach comes with several structural problems that are (IMO) insurmountable for most robots. The problems with the true NEET life are twofold:

1. Most likely you won't be able to attain welfare as in most countries, that's only available to people with kids.

2. If you CAN'T get welfare, being NEET means living with parents, and that may involve being nagged by your mom or yelled at by your dad.

So, in light of this, what's a robot to do? How can a robot attain maximum comfiness while recognizing that the TRUE NEET path is a mirage in the desert?

I believe I've found the formula. This is a method that I have successfully executed over the past 5 years and have taught to many other robots who have attained similar results with it. This method does require some work in the beginning, but once you're established, there is simply NO to live a comfier life than this.

So let's get right into it.
> Step 1. Master self employment.

Self employment in the form of freelancing is by far the comfiest way to earn a living. Unlike an office job, it does not require dealing with normies. Unlike McDonald's, you can earn enough money to get by.

You might think it's hard to become self employed but honestly if you have any skills like programming or photoshop you can freelance online at Elance and UpWork extremely easily. This lets you earn a living without ever leaving your basement.

> Step 2. Stop drinking, smoking, doing drugs.

Yes, this may also appear counterintuitive. Drinking and smoking can, in the short term, make you feel comfy. But ask yourself, is this REALLY the LONG TERM effect of these things? The fact is, the hangover lasts much longer than the drunk. In the interests of long-term comfiness, it makes sense to eliminate these demons.

> Step 3. Find a robot form of exercise.

Exercise increases comfiness, by raising endorphine levels and minimizing the problems of obesity. However, regular forms of exercise like gym and sports involve dealing with normies and terefore cause anxiety. So, find a robot-compatible form of exercise like going for long walks, biking or snow-shoeing in the winter. Making the effort to pursue these activities will maximize long-term comfiness.

> Step 4. Minimize human contact.

Living with other people is almost never comfy. Parents tend to nag and berate you. Roommates just generally trigger anxiety by their mere presence. Therefore--even if it's a little bit expensive--try to find relatively independent living quarters. I find the best compromise is splitting a two bedroom apartment with someone. Yes, you DO have one roommate, but roommates are mostly a problem in large numbers; only one isn't a big deal. Second, you avoid the financial anxiety of having to pay for a full apartment every month. It's win-win.
> Step 5. Read. Reading is one of the comfiest activities you can do. You want to buy the actual physical books, though, not read on your computer screen, as that causes eye-strain which is un-comfy. Those Kindles with the e-ink screens are a good compromise.

> Step 6. Master the comfy diet.

As the saying goes, you are what you eat. And I eat comfy.

As a general rule, you want to eat a balanced, varied and moderate diet. Too little food will lead you to feel deprived. Too much fatty food can cause stomach discomfort. So you want neither a vegan diet nor a fast food diet, you want to focus on foods like chicken noodle soup, chicken, tuna fish, salads, potatoes, toast, cereal, milk, tasty fruits like Apples and grapes, chili, steak, maybe a bit of occasional mayo. I find chicken wraps are one of the comfiest foods you can eat.

Anyway, in closing, I hope that this advice has helped some of you robots. We all want to live the comfy life, but I find there are some misconceptions here about what leads to that. Many people imagine that the comfiest existence is one of just atrophying while eating fast food and drinking alcohol is the path to comfiness, but in my experience, the illnesses caused by such a lifestyle aren't worth it. ultimately, the comfy path is one of moderation and seclusion.
Tfw no skills to freelance with.
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>tfw being a normie is comfy
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I like it, OP. It's pretty much what I'm working towards. I have the advantage of living in a third-world country, so for something like $115 a month I get a maid who comes twice a week and cleans the house, does laundry and helps with cooking.

OP here.

My point is that certain aspects of the normie lifestyle (physical health and such) are comfy but full normie is not comfy. What you want to be is basically a healthy, stable loner. It's important to exercise, but your exercise should just be walking around late at night or something like that, not sports or anything anxiety-causing.
I think the main flaw is most robots don't have the skills to be independently working from home. Especially if programming or web design isn't interesting enough to put time into. I think brainstorming robot jobs would be helpful. Like working with old people or something.

What kind of freelance work do you do?
what about where to live? I currently live in California and only experience a few months of cloudy, brisk morning comfines
Work as an Aquarium tech, then again that's not a normie job but when your scuba diving you can't hear normies talk to you.
Somewhere where the weather is shit so there are less normies outside when you have to go to the grocery store.
What's that? Like cleaning the tanks in an aquarium? That sounds super interesting. I go free diving and spear fishing so I think I'd like that.

Web design, not even hardcore programming shit, just front end. You could learn my field in a year.
Yep, feeding maintained water chemistry, much it is the same as pool maintenance and has much the same equipment. I work on rich guys 3kgallon saltwater tanks. Pays well, car and phone included too and your own schedule but short hours.
Oh yeah I do scuba dive in alot of these tanks to clean the glass and fix corals and rocks. Mostly with a hooks style regulator. Speaking of which I need a wetsuit.
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