ome mornings I wake up with plenty of reasons to be happy, but I'll find myself preoccupied with tidal waves of emotion related to some significant, past, yet present-impacting event(s) of my life. Lately it's been my ex, the anger, the attraction, the positives, memories, frustration, betrayal, disappointment. Was I wrong? Was she wrong? Should I be seeking answers? Is it for naught? Is it terrible that not everyone knows how disloyal and fucked up she is, and my suffering has been in silence (minus anonymous 4chan posts)? Does everyone get cucked? All these thoughts can literally pull and push my mind in a variety of places. And everything reminds me of her.
We'll all die anyway. So at some point this won't matter. But right now I'm alive. And currently it does. Contradictions, reconcilable and irreconcilable feels. I have em all.
>>23339261 >watching movie about Vietnam in class >soldiers from both sides revisiting it decades later >guy talking about how he had to play dead on top of one of his dead friends and a Vietnamese machine gunner used him as a human sandbag, is increasingly shaken as he recalls the story >all the old men just crying and choking up by the end >have to actually hold back tears myself >only a few other people in the class are actually watching the movie >all of the women are just staring at their phones looking bored
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