We made it through September edition.
It's not like that. They know I'm not their dad, but he's a deadbeat who doesn't even pay child support. She's a great mum and would love to spend more time with them but she has a really demanding boss who is constantly calling her in to do extra work.
Who /spooked/ by this?
Check the reflection
Mate, not even joking this isnt a meme but looking after another dudes kids is the ultimate kek move.
No one wants to be nasty to kids but desu it's not fair on them either by being a "nice guy" when in the end you're only around to stick it in their mom's sweaty hole.
This just came up on my news feed.
Anyone else find it irrationally funny?
>the way it looks like hes trying to stretch his neck up to seem taller
To anyone that's got a firearm certificate for a shotgun / rifle:
Do the police DNA / fingerprint you in the application? I've got quite a bad criminal record from 10 years ago but I want a gun. Reason I ask is I got pulled for speeding the other day and I gave the officer my new name (had to change my old name due to news reports on google) and when he asked if I was known to police I said no; naturally his checks came back neutral in my new name so if they don't require biometric info I can get my gun.
>Do I need to register? Because fuck that.
you need like an email account lad to follow them, apart from that no.
Never understood the aversion to registering with old burner email acc's
opened normiebook this morning to find pictures of my brothers and sister at her house with all their kids for halloween, looked like fun, no invite for me. I always knew they were secretly ashamed of me for my robot ways, now I know for sure, feel like crying
to be honest family is being filtered to it pussyNIGGA
>get added by members of family haven't seen in years
>Don't accept them and don't reply, because my life is robot
>shut down my fb page about 2 years back now
Wouldn't mind seeing them for a few drinks but everyone's moved on with their life
pussynigga think for a second why would it?? the PS4 probably reaches its highest temperature after being on for 1 hour or so. so if you play for 2 hours or 200 makes little difference, except there's more wear like more dust being soaked in and things like that.
>tfw my parents are autists and believed the jewdocs who said that its good to circumcise since I had phimosis
>they thought they would only do the best for me
circumcision ruined my life. all the uncutfags bullied me to death which gave me paruresis despite having a big ameriporn dick. I'd rather want to have a small anteater.
One weekend I don't go to the only half decent bar in this shitty town, and it all kicks off and I miss it all. Fuck sake m8s
I just don't trust sony consoles. and this thing sounds like a jet on take off.
I know there's a new SKU out that fixes a lot of the heat and sound issues, so I don't know how delicate the release models are.
did you type pussynigga or was it filtered?
>and this thing sounds like a jet on take off.
nigga my xbox 360 sounded like that too and then it got E74 RoD.
>d-did you type pussynigga or was it filtered?
LOL, get a load of this lil pussynigga
Yeah there was one kid who had it done in our school, everyone made fun of him as well. I can't imagine what it's like, if my member was out of its hood it would be way too sensitive to just leave rubbing against my boxers, it would hurt.
I guess you guys must just have numb cocks.
lol yeah no shit. i hope that kid comes back and cuts your fucking heads off you fucking piece of shit. why would you fucking ruin someone's life just like that? what the fuck did he do to you?
>Not enough that I care.
BECAUSE THE FUCKING CIRCUMCISION MADE MASTURBATINO SO BAD YOU DONT EVEN DO IT THAT OFTEN ANYMORE
circumcised makes u the ultimate subhuman.
Circumcision doesn't affect your mentality in that way, champ. I'm not a very sexually-interested person. It's not about whether my dick is cut or uncut, you're bitter about being cut, I'm not because I don't care.
>circumcised makes u the ultimate subhuman.
Your post quality makes me think you're the same guy that sperged months ago about how Diabetes type 1 is truly such a terrible fate. In which case I'm not surprised this is the turn you've taken
Cutfag here, as there's no hood, the head of the penis is dry. However, when it becomes wet, a lot more sensitivity comes back. I literally just rubbed it against boxers when dry, felt not a lot. But when I licked my finger and put the spit all over it, rubbing it against boxers hurt.
>Circumcision doesn't affect your mentality in that way, champ.
>something that feels significantly worse due to mutilation is still desired just as much
if my fucking ferari only does top speed of 20kmh i also wont drive it as often anymore.
marks you as the ultimate subhuman.
The one thing that truly makes you subhumane in the modern world.
You're cut and yet bitter about being cut. I'm cut yet not bitter about being cut. As a result, circumcision is not the reason for my mentality, or else your logic implies you'd share my mentality. Do you not see that, or are you going to claim to be an ascended being that rose above the influence of a cut dick to see the bigger picture, which is really just a picture of you throwing yourself into a landfill?
>americans all making jokes about "lotion" online
>lotion somehow connected to masturbation
>for years i don't get why you'd need lotion to have a wank
>tfw i find out they are more cut than a suicidal my chemical romance fan
>tfw you don't have to deal with friction
oh i misunderstood. well i guess you are sort of right. but if you were mutilated under the same circumstances as me and bullied and did research about cision you might get a bit butthurt.
i hope you get executed in the brazen bull desu.
>tfw you finally get an oneitis
Now I fully understand what you guys mean by it, I want off this ride.
what android/ios games do you like to play lads?? need to kill some time at work
made it through another weekend without having to leave the flat
>just walked in on my sister and her friend in the pajamas
I was never bullied for it, I was cut against my own consent when I was younger because of severe phimosis which made me unable to use the toilet without pain when I was younger. Perhaps I was blessed as a child, people bullied other kids for some stupid things, but I didn't experience it for that.
I will not claim to have never been bullied as a child, though. But it was never over my circumcision, not even in secondary school. The most I got bullied was like 8 when kids found out I had a hole in my right eardrum. If you did, then sorry that your past experiences affected you in that way, it isn't something I can relate to, unfortunately.
>you will never lift her skirt and burry your face in her asshole
also what does pic related mean
If they arent 16+ fair enough anon, I'm not mentally ill
But think about this, they have experimented with each other at least once
I got bullied, I didn't claim it had a lasting effect beyond a couple of weeks. Also the kid that used to do it ended up being one of my closest friends for the remainder of my time there before I moved away.
Also it was more being bullied because I have 50% hearing efficiency in that ear, but it doesn't affect me in daily life. I don't notice it unless for some reason I put a phone to my right ear and can't hear shit.
School life seemed so innocent thinking back
>Now I'm thinking about her all the time, checking her Facebook, etc.
Checking her instagram, staking out her house, hiring private investigators, posing as a meter reader to make conversation with her...
Yeah, i know those feels anon
getting bullied for hearing less is not as bad though, at least normies will give you sympathy for it. curcumcusun bullying is worse cuz circumcision is "normal"
when i wanted to talk with my mom about this she just laughed at me and said so many men are circumcised. had a hard time not fucking smashing her head with my knee desu. well bitch got cancer shortly after that. kharma bitch.
Like I said, it's not something I can relate to. I can relate to being cut, but not to how being cut has impacted me, and I can't relate to the experience of anyone caring about it. I'm certainly not going to be arrogant enough to claim I can. I do get the idea behind what you mean about people brushing off the complaints because "so many people are the same" though.
Fine, i'll give the layout:
>well endowed and nice thighs
>pretty cheerful but isn't as social as I thought
>likes things like pokemon, harry potter, lizards, camping, etc.
>calls me "honey" a lot
I bloody well hope so
>OIM AN ENGLISH WOMAN I AM A FAT 3/10 BUT I DESERVE A 10/10 CHAD I HAVE NO CHIN APART FROM THE FAT ROLL ONES LOL LETS GO OUT AND GET MESSY I WANT TO THROW UP ON THE STREET AGAIN HAHA!!!!1
>hello I am a foreign qt I am an 8/10 but I want someone I can really get to know and love, his rating is not important, I dislike chads as they are of simple mind
>I dislike chads as they are of simple mind
Sorry but no, all women want chads.
I don't need to masterbait, women love tha mutilated dick yo
They won't, they consumed too much of the liquid jew last night. Their minds are soft and pliable so that they can be fed their sunday propaganda. They are too hungover to go out.
Right almost got this passport form sorted.
I just need somebody that has known me for the last 2 years, isn't related and is some kind of professional.
I'll be honest, I haven't spoken to anyone outside of family for the last 5 or so years, not even been to my GP. Dire times lads don't think I'll be going to France any time soon.
>be type 1 diabetic
>drink 1 liter worth of rockstar guave for brekkers which is 160grams of American high fructose corn syroup
>highest glycemic index possible
>inject proper dosage of insulin prior to drinking them
>90 minutes after consumption the glucose levels are dangerously low
don't eat/drink sugary foods they said, it makes your blood sugar high they said
>drinking energy drink
energy drinks amplify my mental illnesses
Desert Golf is the only answer
Always wondered throughout my teenage years why in US teen movies they always put something on their hands to indicate they were about to wank.
Until I learnt the horrifying truth.
>eating leftover sweeties and playing divinity original sin
i injected 15U nigga. for breakfast. calculating it should actually be about 30 but i also took going fast into account.
or maybeeeeeeeeeee insulin/carbs acts different in large amounts
fuck I'm fast as fuck btw. irregular heartbeat too. shit nigga.
Moving ashes into an urn she bought, and using some for a tattoo, saying that my sister is also going to get a tattoo using them. Then asking whether I either wanted a tattoo or something made using them.
It's not even that she meant any harm by it, but that's just the sort of topic that immediately makes me feel gloomy.
hate my job desu. being neet was better. I'm a manchild without hobbies, social life or interests anyways so i aint got nothing to loooose it's just me against the world baby.
Unlikely, it's designed to be low power on the homescreen. It's actually beneficial for computers to run constantly (at a safe temp) rather than cooling down and heating up again.
I leave my PC on almost all the time and think nothing of it.
>Buy drawing tablet, even though I'm shit at drawing in the hopes I can get better
>Can barely draw anything with it
>Mum sees it, "Oh is that a pen you can draw with"
>Instantly starts drawing a perfect womans face in Photoshop
>"How do I change the brush size anon?"
So the answer is already be good at drawing.
Can't all mooch of mummy and daddy forever
Its called pride
This board isn't designed for you to whine about the same shit day in day out, hence the robot being brought back, why does it bother you that I post here?
>This board isn't designed for you to whine about the same shit day in day out, hence the robot being brought back, why does it bother you that I post here?
Agreed here, feelfags and anyone who's unironically complained about normies can fuck off now Hiroshima's in charge, and MAYBE /r9k/will be great again.
>Can't all mooch of mummy and daddy forever
then mooch off the government/taxpayer or someth8ing by getting retardbux? seen a thread created by some rich neet who said he got like 1k a fortnight by cheating the system. the true ubermensch. he said he'd buy a fucking house soon. the type of jew who puts wagekeks like me into the brazen bull solely for entertainment. REEEEEEEEEEE REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE O_O REe eeee ded
my first drawing with it
>Go to the Starbucks in Bridgend to do a combination of learning my Japanese and hoping someone else as spergy as me tries to talk to me there
>Phone dies as soon as I get there, and everyone in there is a couple
On the plus side, their overpriced toasties and white hot chocolate is very nice.
So comfy right now, its so nice.
COULD HAVE BEEN A DOCTOR
but I chose neet
COULD HAVE BEEN A LAWYER
but i chose neet
COULD HAVE BEEN ANYTHING I WANTED TO BE
but i chose neet
you are either a fatass or a manlet who eats 1000 calories a day and thinks he eats alot
>tfw drank 1.5 liters of energy drink and now go so fast my heartbeat irregular
FEELS BEST AMIGOS
No you're just lazy and its the only option left for you, you're secretly miserable and wish you had tried harder but you feel its too late, because you're lazy and unprepared to apply yourself to commitments
I'd go to pretty much anywhere else if I wanted an actual coffee and not a cup of sugar. But it's pretty comfy in there and it makes me think I actually did something on the weekend by leaving the house.
Costa is much nicer. Still pretty corporate but not quite as blatant about it.
Lovely mocha coffee coolers mmm.
There's actually a Costa in town, and I've never been in it. I might have to go try one if I have a particularly shitty day this week.
unlikely desu. i eat large amounts of vegetables and fruits and other plant foods and only organic foods. i rarely EVER take substancies such as caffeine in form of energy drinks. i dont drink alcohol or take any other drugs. never in my life have i taken any illegal drugs such as cannabis, amphetamine, cocaine or anything.
I am not sure how to convey to you how little I would want to do that in a manner you would understand.
A newer desktop PC and monitor.
Unfortunately, I'm team leader in my wagekeking, my team was cut from 5 to 3 people without a reduction in workload, and one of those people is off this week. I need to find things to pick me back up from it.
Exactly that, actually. I'd love to get a 4K monitor but most of the reasonably priced ones are pretty bad panels and have limitations to them, usually frequency and input lag.
I'd probably need to go into Cardiff for that, and it's about half an hour's drive away. I don't really have approachable hobbies, so I don't make for a good conversation either.
I am sure an active lifestyle and a diet rich in vitamins, minerals and anti oxidants will give me cancer.
>you are one manlet you too small nigga
>she suck my dick and rub my balls nigga
Wiley, the borderline mentally deranged enigma and godfather of grime, has been spouting his wisdom on an internet messageboard frequented by angry children. Here are the best rants and most peculiar phrases he has come up with on the forum so far.
10. your mum stinks of ralgex
9. I Have Never Touched Crack That Makes Me Not A Crackhead
8. Im Richard The King Of England
7. oi b4 i punch ur mum up be quiet you tramp
6. I Jus Wanna Die Now Im Goin Mad You Know What Im Goin On Holiday And When That Tunes Done Its Course I Will Come Back Dont Even Talk To Me About That Tune Ever I Will Smash Up Ur Car If You Even Say To Me Wiley I Love That Cash In My Pocket Tune
5. [On his ex-manager, who he blames for changing a verse in "Cash in My Pocket"] John Woolf I Am Gonna Get You I Promise 1 Day You Will Pay For This You Tramp I Hate You
4. both ur parents are experiencing the credit crunch i aint
3. Im Alive Im Alive No Im Not Dead
2. you dont need to send me a virus im already a virus walking round the street
1. bill you are 2 face water melon head
>the only joy i have in life is walking my puppers
They accept me for who I am ;_;
hey fellow robots, which cute waifu am I drawing?
No, it's because you've said no to them when they've offered you to take part in something social ,so many times, that they just assume you don't want to go. I'm at that stage now.
here you go mate. had a haircut since then though
Let me tell you about my Halloween robots
>Spend night in room
>Spend every night in my room
>Reading Feast for Crows, comfy af
>Only met two of my flat mates
>They're throwing pumpkin around outside my room
>Bretty loud desu
>Fire alarm goes off
>Wait for them all to leave, then I leave
>Wait outside for alarm to be turned off
>Everyone else very drunk
>It turns off as I go toward stairs
>Hey it's "Mystery Anon"!
>Turn around and say hi
>"Hello Mystery Anon"
>Go to go upstairs
>Completely naked person on stairs with fedora covering dick
>Panic, walk to main part of university
>Wait in toilet until 6am, so I know they are in bed
>Go back to room
Fucking hate it here
WOW GREAT THE FUCKING ROBOT ALREADY BANNED MY MEMETEXT EVEN THOUGH I ONLY POSTED IT FUCKING OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONCE
She a shark she like a jaws nigga
Your bitch says she wants a tall nigga
You are one manlet you too small nigga
She suck my dick and rub my balls nigga
Big autism over here, man
Still active don't let me show all my memes man
>tfw found two twix (twixes?) in my work bag
>also bought home 3 (Three) triple choc donuts back from work
>tfw at everything except one twix
who else /disgustingfatlad/ here?
You should wank to your "weird" foot fetish porn or whatever it is. Then you should try and probably fail to want to something really weird like a girl having her body infested with tentacles that force her to give birth to abominations while having them go all the way through her, coming out of her navel, her mouth, and going back around and entering her eye socket and cumming inside her brain. Then you should tell the girl not to come over because how can real life ever come close to the things you've seen. Then you should probably say fuck it, order a pizza and start up a wow subscription because your life's now over.
This 40 year old fat balding czech dude comes into my work with his qt as fuck czech wife who looks half his age and could literally be a model. Contemplating moving to eastern europe tbqh lads
That's not what happened. She hates her boss. She's a paralegal and he's this really smug and shallow jerk who thinks he's superior to everyone because he made partner in his twenties. She's always complaining about how much she dislikes him.
Lads, when I wank into a sock and never bother to have a shower afterwards, will I still smell of cum?
They are pretty good, they aren't as good as blocking out noise completely, but it makes ambient noise more of a drone rather than distinct sounds. If you put ear phones on under them though you can't hear jack shit.
nah i ordered online and never had any problems with this place
it was in my black bean sauce which is a bit snotty to begin with, but the texture reminded me of phlegm too much to finish my food
either way i won't be ordering from this place again
Went clubbing for the first time last night. Fucking hated it. Can't imagine it actually being good unless you're an alpha chad or you take drugs.
No its not how it should be you retard, hiroyuki has implemented these changes with advice from his moderators who want to see 4chan return to the glory days, can't even remember the last time I saw a funny green text story on this board
Its not for repeating the same shitty phrases over and over again, the board is about originality
Fuck off to /b/ you you want to be an edgy little child
>he furiously types out his complete and utter rekking of another anon
>the fury escaping from his fingers and he sweats profusely and tears for in his eyes
>he feels on top of the world
>finally the world will know the truth and he will lead a revolution
>types 'you you'
>looks like a retard
That spelling error feel, a pain I know all too well.
OK here we go then
>invited by girl I work with to a halloween party
>know there is going to be lots of drinking there
>decide to go anyway
>get to party, alcohol everywhere
>girl goes and gets us a couple of beers
>sat in the garden with her and some of her friends I have never met before
>talking about life in general
>conversation spotlight is brought to me
>questions about my life etc
>this is not comfortable
>answer as best as I can without spilling spaghetti
>later on own with girl
>she asks me why I'm always so shy around new people
>tell her I need to conserve my pasta
>she looks at me as if I just asked to fuck her dog
>what do you mean conserve pasta
>oh you know I can't afford to waste it, I'm on a budget
>she leaves for the bathroom
>I wait in the same place for half an hour completely silent
>she doesn't return
>I leave party
>text her this morning asking what happened to her
>send another text saying I am willing to share pasta with her
>replies with I'm not hungry thanks
And that's why I don't drink
sister starts having a go at me for eating cheese and bread because apparently she bought the cheese herself and she needs bread to make sandwiches for work.
didn't even use it all and there was no indication that the cheese was hers, everyone's been eating at it all week...
This is why I'd want to move out with a significant other rather than myself.
The only thing I have to worry about is making payments on my car and that's about it. Even though I got unemployment protection on it in case I lose my job, the car still gets paid for for up to a year.
They have savings and are confident these savings will last until they find a new job after losing their old ones.
Nonetheless I was speaking to a homeless man in London the other day. Used to be a chef but whole restaurant went under and they all lost their jobs. Eventually his savings ran out and he's been forced to sleep rough since August. Can all happen very quickly if you don't have anyone (family, friends etc.) to turn to apparently.
>do draw request in /a/ weekend draw thread
>don't get thanked
Girlfriend (now my wife) got scared when I was shot in the leg, asked me to leave and work for her dad instead, money was better and I wanted my freedom back, was good while it lasted though
that's what I said.
I'm not complaining because it's a difficult argument to dismiss, I was just pissed off because it's so fucking stupid. She even tried harassing me to go to the shops to replace them.
Considering she was pregnant with my son at the time, it wasn't really an over reaction, I didn't really want to go back to afghan again after getting shot anyway, could have been much worse, two lads from my regiment were killed in the same attack
that's interesting and all but I didn't reply to your post
Honestly lads i just hate Pakis so fucking much and i have absolutely no reason not to. Anyone who doesn't hate pakis doesnt have to interact with them outside of the kebab shop or paki shop.
Do you know the average IQ in India is fucking 80 when the average IQ for the rest of the world is 100?
They are nearly two standard deviations under us in intelligence. Yet they have the most kids, the most rights and freedoms and are completely untouchable.
I fucking hate pakis.
I wouldn't say I hate pakis, I'm generally not racist but I can't fucking stand romanians. Never met an honest romanian in my life, they are always beggars or thieves.
In my city you get them raking through your bins, looking for shit to sell. They beg up town and pretend to only have one arm. I had a couple of those fuckers breaking into my stair and using the deck chairs to sit on and smoke weed in the back green. I fucking hate the lot of them and wish they would die
No because (You)'s arent designed to give you a euphoric rush and reaffirm that everyone loves and agrees with you. (You)'s are strictly utilitarian, we only get excited by them because it means someone wants to talk to us, whether it's to call us kuck's or to agree with us.
>was supposed to do uni work this weekend
>did nothing expect wank and play witcher 3
FUCK. Oh well, guess it's next weekend then.
I didn't even get to play a game or anything, I've just spent all weekend doing nothing other than trying to find people in my area who aren't fucknuggets.
Saw Spectre at the cinema, pretty good but not up to Skyfall standard.
Also saw this fit girl, she was wearing a skirt and socks with bare legs, all I wanted to do was run my hand up her leg and feel her sex.
Am I a deviant?
>Decide I want to buy an exotic pet of some sort
>Need something small and easy to care for
>Decide on a Tarantula
>Find a small local shop that specialises in reptiles and arachnids
>No windows, I guess for the animals sake
>Can't get the front door to close
>Stand for 2 minutes trying to close it
>Cute girl comes over
>Giggles and helps me close the door
>She asks if I need anything
>I guess she is the daughter, it is apparently a family owned shop
>get really nervous
>the room is really dark and the atmosphere is pretty intimidating with reptiles and bugs all over
>''I--I just want to look around''
>she smiles and says to ask if I need anything
>start looking around
>can't stop thinking about how beta I must have come across
>want to show her I am a funny guy and pretty alpha
>walk over to the alligator tank
>alligator is just the shops, not for sale
>come up with a plan
>grab one of the live food packages
>take out a large locust
>plan to put it into the alligator tank so I can rescue it
>start looking for the door of the tank
>girl walks round the corner, sees me holding a locust
>realise how strange this much look
>''I--I wanted to feed you, my exotic pet''
>carry the locust towards her
>put it to her mouth
>she bats it away, asks me to leave
I still want a tarantula
desu I've known her for 3 months, everyone already thought we were together and we kept jokinf about how we really were. we were best friends, work at the same place and are both a bit weird (she has a history of depressions and I have a memory disorder, but that's another story). thing is, she is 4 years older than me (really fit and nice tho) and she thinks it's too large a difference to just ignore. makes me feel shit but I know she may be right
Oh right sorry m8 I jumped to the wrong conclusion.
Maybe she's scared of making it serious because of her worries about the age gap.
Although 4 years is no big deal as long as both of you are 16+
I'm 19, she's 23 and
we're both Polacks. she's going back to uni jn a week tho and I'm staying for a working gap year, which makes it problematic too. thanks for the kind words tho, one thing she did help me with was my self esteem, so I am positive happy days might be still to come.
Going to wagekek tomorrow and try speaking to the office junior again. Last week I got mixed up with 'do you want a cup of tea?' And 'fancy a brew' and said 'do you brew a tea?'
Wish me luck.
I got offered a cup of tea at work and remained alpha by declining and saying "I don't drink team heh hehe". I'm now the alpha guy in the office as they don't even try to talk to me anymore.
dad said he was going to take my tool case to work, get it striped and powder coated.
he brings it home, hes just painted it silver with a brush in the garage. still rusty underneath, now im going to have to do it myself.
I don't know why he lies
>glucose level through the fucking roof again for a fucking random reason like bad injection site
i swear to fucking god, if i will only get the slightest fucking long term damage from this shit i will kill myself on the most brutal way known to mankind
lolno, americans are keks to the skincare industry.