Why is it that people always unload their shit on me? I don't get it. Every time that I've been with someone, guy or girl, they always end up spilling all this heavy shit on me. Why me? What makes me the one to take all this shit?
It's the latter. But it's not just complaining. Some of its like serious shit. Girls talk about their shitty relationships and past ones. This one gi taked to me about his prenatal divorcing and using him to get back at the other. I've heard so much of it. Suicide, divorce, boyfriend, girlfriend, mom died, someone had cancer, depression.
I've heard it all
Because they like and trust you. You seem like an understanding human being to others.
They're telling you things they'd never talk about with anyone because they feel open with you. People feel better when they vent.
I know it's hard to shoulder others' burdens, but remember that you're kind of an oasis to them. You didn't ask for this, but at least you're helping, if just by listening.
If you mean that they use you as an emotional garbagebin where they take their toxic emotional problem/waste, it'S probably because you tend to listen. If you just interrupt them and say that you really can't help them, they'll most likely leave you alone. If their shitfriends and only needed your garbagebin-capacity, they most likely leave. If they are good ones they might get to grips that they abused you and will stop, maybe even appologize. Don't count on the latter part though, they most likely will think that YOU are the shit friend.
as a rule of thumb; when you're a good listener in the eyes of your friends you're allready lost. Time to find new friends and make sure they might confide in you sometimes but not allways. A beer with a buddy who just broke up with his ex is ok. An evening with your friend talking about how live is so utterly shit and whatnot (basically the shit you see on here) is not, unless it's a real friend that actually deserves treatment like that, but those are few and far between.
You have a gift. Therefore a responsability, though they might later even forfeit you as friend, the most important thing for you is to help them
That realization is greater than the friendship itself
I like when people unload heavy shit onto me. Perhaps because they know I don't talk to most of their friends and don't use social media, many people are comfortable sharing personal things with me that they wouldn't say in front of a group. I'm an unknown quantity with very diverse acquaintances and a good capacity for listening, because I genuinely find most stories interesting. I usually have good advice (even if I don't follow it) and I'm not afraid to call someone out if they're the one in the wrong. I loved the time my friend's girlfriend told me the story about her first love at the tender young age of 18, a bootleg DVD salesman in his 40s from Harlem. Her father came down with some cops to find her, but it turned out it was all legal.