>be on the autism spectrum >feel embarrassed even talking about it anonymously >yet is the perfect excuse for all the shit I do
I guess it's alright, only my parents know it though, I don't dare to speak about it with anyone else. But it sucks, when I got the diagnosis I felt really down, all my hopes and dreams of being a normal person were out of the question immediately.
Also, maybe you should ask a bit more specific questions, I can't really tell what it's like to be autistic when I have nothing to compare it to.
>>24062088 >You will never have sex unless you pay, get an arranged marriage or get really lucky >Every single woman will hate you and every man will either pity or bully you >People will always blame you for every mistake you do and will comment on how awkward you are >You will always be a disappointment to your parents even if you are on good terms with them >You will always try to rationalize everything and get inevitably offend emotionally wired people >You are either delusional to the point where they put you into a loonie bin or self-aware to the point where you scrutinize every single thing you do >You will inevitably be socially isolated and become mentally unstable while people continue alienating and blaming you
>>24062584 k. If I don't watch myself I over-analyze everything. I sometimes get extremely paranoid about random posts and try to find the deeper meaning in everything people say. I don't know if this tells you anything can you ask me a question or something..
>>24062609 Mostly stay at home, try to contribute by doing some housework. No neetbux or autismbux, recent changes in the law made that impossible for people who aren't totally broken to the point where they can't work and won't be able to work for the rest of their lifes.
I am in the process of getting help with maybe a specialized study or work so I can earn something but that's just started.
I do dream of owning a small bit of land with a small house and minding my own autistic business, not dependant on anyone, that's at least something that I want to work towards but it's quite of a big deal here in Yurop.
>>24062088 It sort of feels like all other people are a different species. Or at least a different culture. There was a great deal of confusion when i was younger about things like social tact, humour, subtext, sarcasm. I still can't say that i completely understand how others want to, need to, be in the company of other people. I don't understand the need to make friends. I can do work associations but casual friendship i don't know how or why i should.
>>24062778 >do you make eye contact with people very often (including parents, family)? No, I find it awkward.
>do you find yourself laughing at a funny TV show at the same time as other people? do you laugh at all? If I watch them with others, I occasionally laugh with them. If I watch shows on my own, I hardly laugh at all.
>do you have a daily schedule? Not really because I don't do anything. Neeting away at home.
I do try to make eye-contact when I learned that it was somehow awkward when I didn't. I really try but it always takes a lot of energy from my brain which distracts me and I break off the eye contact rather quickly.
I rarely laugh by myself, I only laugh out loud when I see or hear other people laugh but I usually keep it to myself.
I have no schedule other than >get up before 12 >make tea and a sandwich >fill the day >go to sleep before 12 I try to follow it at all times, I do hate it when something unexpected happens during the day.
>>24062088 I have a lot of cooccuring neurological issues, namely epilepsy, but otherwise, I've gotten used to it. I have the ability to remember the stupidest shit and can learn languages pretty easily.
Me and some friends got stoned the other week and were watching music videos on YouTube through the Xbox. We couldn't work out if a particular video was parody, serious, or just plain bad. It was like our sense of "intention" was gone, like "What is this meant to be? Is this a joke? I don't understand."
It's what I imagined aspergers/autism to feel like.
Holy shit. I've never seen anyone describe my life so perfectly. My parents were always so goddamn embarrassed of me and I kept trying to figure out why, until I got my first job and inevitably all my co-workers started treating me in the exact same manner as my parents: like there was something wrong with me. I love this society.
>>24064049 I feel for you buddy. We did think that at the time. "Imagine being like this all the time, and with all things, not just music videos." Would gladly chill with an autisbro and verbalise social cues to help him out.
>>24064085 It's also with things not related to socializing, in my experience. Whenever people say "just use your common sense" I always end up doing the wrong thing and getting yelled at. I'm not sure if that's autism though or if I'm just retarded.
>>24063959 I'll try, but it's almost 12 o'clock so I'm going to sleep after this.
My sandwich, is that really important? I take 2 slices of bread fold them open, put butter on each slice then whatever I think will taste the best to me in that moment. I actually simulate the taste in my mouth to get a good grip of what I might enjoy at a time, I noticed I spend some time staring at my buttered up bread just thinking which filler would be the absolute best in that moment of time, that is the only noteworthy thing really.
I do have upset people with things I said which I didn't think were inherently offensive but were taken that way even when they know I didn't mean it in an offensive way. I'm not going over details or examples, too much work.
Lego was my all time favourite toy, I really liked building stuff with that before I got spoiled by videogames.
when something unexpected comes up I just get lightly irritated, I don't try to make the people around me notice though it doesn't always work. I don't want to come across as some uptight bitch so I try to roll with it but it does bother me on the inside, I can't really explain it well, I just prefer it things are planned a few days ahead so I can at least mentally prepare for them.
Anyway I hope this is of some use to you or whoever. I'm going to bed now.
>>24064195 >What kind of music do autistic people like? One common denominator I've noticed is a lot of autists like dance music, like you would see a mix of on youtube where the picture is an anime girl. >Also, explain why you guys like sonic. Bright colors, fast pace, repetitive, lots of visual stimulation.
>>24064082 I think it's because when they see someone with autism they get the uncanny valley effect. We look like humans but our behaviour is just a little bit too much off. It repulses them much more than people where something is clearly visibly off ( i.e. crippled or severely mentally challenged ). It makes them feel very uncomfortable and they become hostile as a result. Some people show that hostility by trying to bully or embarrass you while others simply ignore you and look you out of the door.
It makes it very hard to get friends, let alone a girlfriend in teenage and adult life because people often already decide to shun you without even knowing you.
I might be somewhere on the spectrum but I think my behavior stems from my shitty family life. Raised by a single mother since 8. Never had any support or normal relationship with my family. Just used to play video games all day or watch tv. Led to me being unable to form relationships with people and have serious trust issues.
>>24062281 Autism isn't as big of a deal and shouldn't really come as a big concern in your calculations. If it's a mild form then it can be overcome with *relative* ease, if it's severe then you really can't do shit about it anyway, so you might as well carry on doing what you want in general.
>>24064495 Yep, it has also been documented that children with autism respond to a humanoid robot ( KASPAR ) the exact same way they respond to humans. Regular children would show much less interest and more restraint because they felt it was uncanny. The exact same way they showed more restraint and less interest when asked to socialize with an autistic kid.
>>24064591 >If it's a mild form then it can be overcome with *relative* ease This is not entirely true because the documented cases are usually the ones where extensive therapy and support have taken place usually all their lives.
Many cases where people with autism end up in social isolation or worse are not documented because they are invisible in society and often have only been diagnosed in adulthood after suffering severe bullying. So the literature naturally becomes one sided towards the people that are actively supported from a very young age, whom are able to overcome it thanks to the therapy and malleability of a young psyche.
>>24064698 The support part is more about the emotions self and willingness to improve/motivation and knowledge about what their condition is and how to deal with it.
For mild autists it's quite possible to learn how to interact with other humans by brute force as a chore and then internalize it as any kind of learning process, it just doesn't come naturally to him/her, so he/she has to take different path than normals and it may always be something they have to consciously think about, but they can be socialized properly as they would've wanted.
>>24063959 I will also give these q's a shot. I have aspergers, OCD, and major depression (in remission because my meds actually work for this).
>how do you make your sandwich?
I don't think there are any peculiarities with my sammie preferences. Usually rye bread, turkey, cheese, lettuce and onions if I have them, mayo, mustard, sriracha. No tomatoes. I cannot stand the texture of tomatoes.
>have you ever done something that upset a person, and not understood why they didn't like it?
Definitely. Repeatedly. I'm 32 and this still happens frequently despite my best efforts to think about my actions beforehand and consider their possible interpretations.
>what toys did you like to play with as a child?
Matchbox cars. Later ninja turtles. Vidya.
Unexpected change in schedule can be alarming. Even anxiety inducing. This is all mixed in with my OCD stuff so i'm not sure how to give an autism specific answer to it.
Regarding eye contact. I've thought about that some since I was diagnosed at 27. I asked family members what they had to say. Apparently I usually stare in the general direction of the mouth sort of like a deaf person would. The thing about eye contact is that I have no inate compulsion to look at the eyes anymore than any of part of the person I am speaking to or any part of the place I am speaking in. I look at lips often, I think, because I sometimes have difficulty parsing the syllables of speech in purely audio form. Semi lip reading helps. I also have a hard time watching tv and movies without the subtitles on for this reason. There is nothing wrong with my hearing, it's just that words can mush together in my head. Think of it like listening to a person with a strong foreign accent; that's me with everyone.
>>24065654 You know how women get the willies from seeing videos of Elliot Rodger, even if they don't know ahead of time what he did? It's like that. You give off weirdo vibes. Women may like you from afar, but when talking to you directly they want to be somewhere else.
I don't know if I'm autistic but I know I can't stand being around others for more than an hour. Like, I get restless inside when I'm around others for an extended period of time. Made school and family get-togethers really awkward for me. Also whenever I see a big group of people my first thought is "Ew".
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