Women are cruel. The moment they detect weakness in you is the moment they start looking for another partner. It doesn't matter how many times you've helped them in the past, once you hit a depressive slump you're garbage to them, worthless. I've given up on women, they're not loyal.
>>24067203 >>24067245 This i don't think it's worth the trouble and i'm already suicide enough. I also do not want to be c.u.c.k.e.d i would end it in a instant. I'm also to old and broken now. Women find me a joke and i refuse to be hurt.
You pretty much hit the nail on the head, everyone that gets close to you will hurt you in the end.
It's not even just girls. The second you begin to take your mask off is the second you hand someone legitimate ammunition to fire at you. I can handle when people I don't give a fuck about fire insults at me but I crumble when someone who I know and care about starts trying to hurt me.
It's probably because of my childhood, I spent the whole thing trying to please someone that would hurt me no matter how hard I tried. I guess I learned to expect it from everyone.
>>24067364 >everyone that gets close to you will hurt you in the end.
>tfw was loner >Dropped my guard and began to care about someone else >they considered me only as a friend >found out this after I basically confessed my feelings >they see me as some weird loser >Stop talking to them. Even colder now and less interested in others
>>24067779 I know the feeling. To care so much about someone who doesn't give a shit whether you live or die. I guess I'm a hypocrite, I've done the exact same to someone who cared about me. I just couldn't continue to live a lie. What's almost worse is when they try to twist your affection for them into something creepy or perverse. I don't know, maybe they don't understand what it's like to have absolutely no one care. If you wanted nothing to do with me you should have said so in the first place.
I wish I could say I was cold and uninterested in others, but I'm not. I wanted their affection more than I wanted anything else. The distancing is like a knee-jerk reaction that I learned from being hurt one too many times. I want off the ride. I wish I could just not care.
My selfesteem is nonexistent, so I can't even comprehend anyone being the slightest bit interested in me. I am not afraid of rejection because it's the only result that can be expected. I am however, afraid of acceptance because I've either found terrible person looking to use me, or I am a about to crush a good person's heart.
>>24067104 >childhood was unhappy >psychologically in survival mode, learn to just "deal" with the fact that life is shitty >tolerance becomes too strong >eventually putting up with shit people shouldn't put up with >even things that would have sparked another person to dramatically turn their life around for the better >to you it's not enough >nothing will ever be enough to motivate someone with a personality so submissive and avoidant as yours >you are aware of this but even that doesn't motivate you enough to change
The callous over your heart has become too thick. You thought you were weak but the truth is you are too strong. No amount of misery will be "too much" for you. You can endure anything.
>>24068236 I got something similar to that with girls, where I can't comprehend them liking me because I've been rejected so much by them. But it still hurts for some reason when I get rejected, probably because I wasn't talking to much girls in HS. I was at an all guys school
>>24068547 I was rejected and mocked from 2nd grade until at least 9th. At least in 10th grade, the mocking mostly stopped, but I was still very directly told on several occasions that they would never (specifically used the word never) be interested. The closest I got was someone telling I was on the list of people they would probably fuck.
I moved before 11th grade and was largely ignored by everyone because the school was much smaller and everyone knew each other.
Now, I'm 26. Every roommate I've ever had has asked me to leave and they wouldn't say why. Never missed bills, did cleaning no one wanted to do because I was a Janitor and it didn't bother me, and generally kept to myself.
Now, I love alone and have for the last 3 years. That's how it should be. I'm just an anathema.
Pretty much of the fear of rejection. It's why I've never let anyone close or made a move myself. I spent my college and high school years naively hoping I'd meet the right person or something might just happen, but I avoided the situations and never let those things happen.
If I let them close, they will just see past whatever facade and be disgusted regardless. I also know I can't really be the emotional support of anyone else, when I can barely keep myself sane. I'd rather not just waste someones time where the end result will likely just be pain for all parties.
>>24068810 I'm now a freshman in college, and from those four years of that complete sausage fest, I can't talk to any of the girls at my university, and they're so fucking different from the few girls I talked to before I left for college. The ladies here are cancerous, most of them can't even hold a conversation, they just expect me to keep it up
It's hard to imagine others as not secretly malicious and not out to turn you into their next joke.
This and the whole process seems so empty to me. I can become infatuated with the other gender, sure, but eventually it's like James Joyce's short story Araby. I'll see others flirting and suddenly I realize how empty my infatuation is. It's all so fucked.
If you step back and really look at the big picture, I think you'll see that its not women, nor is it men. The average person is just that: average. There's nothing exciting about them. Every now and then you meet someone who stands out in a noticeable way, even if it's very minor, and your brain will focus on that and subconsciously look for it. Over time, you start to associate that thing as the conscious norm because it's what you're seeing different from the norm.
It's like your nose. It's literally always in your vision, but your brain ignores it because it knows it's there.
I've been on the ass end and sidelines for so long, that all I can do is watch people. I wouldn't know what to do in a relationship. Like I said, I'm not meant to be with people.
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