Hi /r9k/, (relative) normie here. If you have anything on your mind, feel free to share it here and I will attempt to help you out. Anything goes and there are no stupid questions - say whatever you want and you'll get an answer.
I'm a little bit less of a normie than OP, and I've taken a year of psychology so I'm VERY qualified to tell you what's up with your own life, your own circumstances, and how you're objectively living life incorrectly.
Anything goes and there are no stupid questions- say whatever you want and you'll get an answer.
Try to meet girls. The intricacies of talking to girls are another topic altogether (which I'm happy to discuss, if you want), but I honestly don't understand the logic behind an hero for the simplest of things. You've had a dry spell for a few years - it really isn't that hard to get back on your feet and go out and stuff.
Neither, fuck that noise. Find something fun in something rewarding, like reading literature or getting into math. If you look at it in a sense of a game, or a puzzle ,so many more rewarding things in life become not only bearable, but actually fun. Same with going to the gym and lifting weights, if you start these little things and add them to your routine just for fun or hobbies, you'll feel better and you'll attract people in a good way. Maybe even the kind of people you wouldn't hate.
Because there're too many things that you haven't fapped to yet.
Unless you are currently on the run from the mob, it's unlikely that whatever will happen to you after death is better than the rest of your life. Nearly everything in life is correctable, or at least can be dealt with, so saying that things have gone too far is usually just not true. Suicide is a very terminal decision, and I feel that people in a rough spot do not see that life will get better should they just power through, though that is indeed extremely difficult.
I used to have feelings for one of my friends but was really autistic and nearly destroyed our friendship (i whined about the friendzone, acted like a victim, etc etc), but everything was fine in the end. Fast forward to three years later, I'm single again (had a girlfriend, but that's irrelevant) and significantly less autistic. I hang out with her for the first time in a long time and start to get feelings for her again. Should I just give up before I go too far?
While I disagree that girls aren't worth your time, ultimately, the point that you should find something rewarding in life is indeed correct. And what is also true is that girls aren't everything. You can indeed live a fulfilling asexual life.
I'm a law fag. So there's this guy who wants primary custody of his children, that are living with the mother. He lives in another state, so the children go there bout every two weekends.
He says he wants the custody because they are '' turning gay '' and that's because of the mother influence or some bullshit like that.
We go to the court and he gets extra time with the children, but not the primary custody.
Months later i hear he actually raped, ( and was raping for years ) the youngest of the children ( brothers 9-11 years old). The mother only discovered it because he tried to '' shower '' or some other shit with the 11 year old.
He's in jail atm, but he's not paying children support anymore, so the family is even more fucked financially.
Why the world must be such a shithole. Why do i work with such shit ffs.
I'm sorry to hear you feel this way. May I ask why you have this hostility for me and normies in general?
You should control yourself. It seems that she wants to be just friends with you, and you need to understand that you need to respect those boundaries with her. Ultimately, even if you have feelings for her, if she doesn't reciprocate then there isn't anything you can do in that respect. What's more, I think that it's not even your place to try to change her viewpoint. However, if you understand that and agree, I honestly believe that you can "keep your autism in check", so to speak, so there's no problem there, in my opinion.
Essentially, yes, it's best if you give up on this one. Of course it would depend on the exact situation, as these things can rarely be categorized, but you'll probably spill spaghetti and the chances are low that there's any reciprocation. Though, if there is something there, you might want to at least test the waters.
You can do whatever you want so long as you feel confident in the person you've become. So long as you can look at yourself honestly and say that you've accepted what is and is not in your control, and what you can and can't do about situations, then you're gold, because no matter what you do, you'll find that you won't hate the situation you've ended up in.
I can't really give you a good answer for as to why the world is a shithole, and I can't tell you it's not. But, it's not like we're any better, by principle- only by what we know. Every action, that is to say, anything a human does, is for the sole reason that they know it to be the most self-satisfying option. Now, self-satisfying can be read, and is practically whatever makes you the most happy, and by logic, there's no real way we'd do anything that we know to make us less happy, but that might be playing fast and loose with definitions.
Anyway, you have too high expectations. There's always an agenda of some sorts in anything a person says, you just need to either trust good intent in the agenda, read into it in order to make the call yourself, or carry no expectation at all. Sometimes, peoples ideal forms of happiness or self-satisfaction are actually kind of beautiful, and they end up helping people along with themselves. Sometimes, people don't have strong ideals and it really boils down to what will bring them happiness in the short term rather than having the forethought to cooperate with people in order to build a better future. It's just a matter of what people are exposed to and what they know to be true in their standpoint of the world.
Because you chose law. He's a shitbag, but it's not your right to be a vigilante. I'm sure you know what happens when people are too hard on the accused - you've seen the mob lynchings of people accused of theft in some parts of Africa. Ultimately, it's every person's right to be represented in court, and you made it your decision to be that representative. Someone has to do it - if you didn't, someone else would represent him. You need to understand that completely guilty or unreasonable people will be seen that way by the jury/judge/whatever, but it's still their right to be represented. I dunno, I'm not sure how much sense this rant made, but hopefully you can make something out of this jumble of words. Perhaps see "Thank you for Smoking" - I think it adds a nice perspective to a situation similar to yours.
How to build self confidence after year rs of relentless bullying by peers
But why would I? I'm content with my life, and I hope to make it so that others feel good about theirs too.
You will never know until you've found that thing. Maybe you won't find it, but you can't be upset because someone else is happier, in the same way that you can't be sad because someone else is sadder. He was a lucky man to have found his - now you need to look for your own.
I'm afraid that I'm not at all qualified in that respect - I'm a white student who listens to indie. However, advice which helps everyone is essentially to be persistent and not give up at the sight of hurdles - if you keep trying you are a lot more likely to succeed than if you don't.
Ok, how about this. Im a senior citizen who enjoys metal shows (as in music). Why do my adult kids think I am abnormal? They r pissed off about it and tell me to act my age. Do they have valid points? Love, Grandma
Move to Seattle
Find friends at the gym, or join a hobby interest group. I know it sounds like shitposting to link to other boards, but the /fit/ sticky is incredibly informative and you might be able to at least get a sense of what you like on /o/.
And of course, for all your double needs.
Change yourself. If you've already changed, there's nothing to worry about. Accept that the bullying done to you by peers was against somebody who's separate from you. Hell, in both the physical and philosophical sense, we kill ourselves each and every moment we're alive and replace ourselves with a new 'me'. Learn to differentiate the you of the past and the you who you are right now. If there are too many similarities, simply change it. It's not wrong to hate yourself- hating yourself is just accepting that that version of you is something that isn't a part of your happiness in life, or it gets in the way of your ideal form of happiness. Self-hate only becomes a problem if it becomes self-pity, because at that point you're not doing anything about it.
Call them faggots, but also get better taste in music.
May I ask why you don't keep in contact with friends in college? My answer would be to make friends with people at work. As for the gym. I think that you need to motivate yourself to go there, and that talking to people on the internet about it is, if anything, just counter-productive. Best of luck, dude.
lol I think that >>24073423 has answered this question better than I could, so thank you (:
No, they don't. Everyone is entitled to their own tastes and opinions, which means that you can listen to whatever music you want. What valid point could they even have that is better that literally the liberty of choice.
Big thanks to the psychology major, who is both more qualified than me and is answering questions more thoroughly that me. As much as I love to be in the spotlight, it's good to have someone with an actual clue doing this thread.
>don't keep in contact with friends in college
i work at an elementary school not a real chance to find others
i go to the gym i just kind of do different routines and never really stick to one or eat enough to bulk so my lifts are shit.
i also tried 3 different threads in [s4s] and havent got doubles, disappointing to say the least
Do you have any interests? If you don't, I think that you should make it your priority to get some, but otherwise try to find a club which will promote those activities. For example, if you like badminton, go to a badminton club in town. There, it'll be easier to make friends with people you have something in common with.
Ok I will admit several things:
>have occasional fapping problem that happens subconsciously due to it being rooted of me not having a gf for a long time/not having a chance to get married despite putting myself out there has best as I could
>am a rhodieboo because I strongly relate to how it had organizations and nations going against it unjustifiably except on a human level with other people personally
>like stuff like XCOM and MGSV because NPCs actually respect me and take what I say/order seriously unlike real life where I am surrounded with mostly people that would bully or not take what I say seriously without me putting some form of intimidation into them
>3 different threads with no doubles
That's harsh, buddy. Don't give up though, you'll make it some day.
I've found the simplified 5x5 routine is really good. It's easy to follow, you don't require a gym buddy unless you start getting into the real heavy weights, and it's all doable in roughly an hour. 3 days a week, M W F, allternating A B A B A B weeks. I can't post the link, because the system thinks it's spam, but google sean10mm stripped 5x5 and it'll be the first result.
The gains are pretty steady and it works, especially for starting out with a routine, and it'll get you to actually want to continue with a routine.
I think you are right, perhaps it's about expectations. I never expected the amount of trash i've seen since i started to work in law.
Anyway i feel better, not because of the argument per se, but because of you and the other guys answering questions and trying to help people here. I guess there are lots of people who care less than i do but there are lots who care/do far more.
I think i'll try to undertand what makes people do what they do, perhaps that knowledge can make me deal better with that type of thing.
Anyway, thanks dude, hope life treats you well.
Seems like you have too many expectations of the world. You can only really put expectations on yourself- if it's like that, you won't find disappointment, anger, or even hatred in your life. You'll only be able to move forward, because the things that you can't have control over you- like the way other people act- won't even matter. Your fapping problem is probably sexual frustration, but it's not wrong to masturbate. Just find a time and a place for it, and maybe refine your own tastes in the process.
You too, mate. Have a good one.
I'm afraid that I can't really help with that. I have a girlfriend, but even I have a fapping problem, so I can't really give advice on that topic.
I'm not familiar with that term, I'm afraid.
>Power in games
But games are supposed to be about fulfilling power fantasies. You're supposed to enjoy being high-ranking officer, and you're not abnormal for feeling that way.
My self-esteem is nonexistent. I can't even begin comprehend anyone being the slightest bit interested in me. The thought of anyone being interested is almost enough to make me want to cry. It's so foreign it's almost repulsive, for lack of a better word.
That's troublesome in its own way. After all, how could you end up being interested in someone who has shit enough taste to be interested in you? It's a poor mentality but I can't say it's wrong.
You have to change yourself. People will say be yourself, or that it's fine to be who you are, but honestly if there's something you're dissatisfied with, there's no reason not to hate it or to want to change it. I'm not saying you need motivation to do it either. In fact, just the realization that you want to change will start you on the right track to changing, either your mentality to fit the person you are in reality, or the person you are in reality to fit your mentality.
Don't love yourself. Become a you that you can love.
ive been doing that, i think my problem is not eating enough
going to buy some protein powder i suppose
yeah i think ill try to find somerthing like that, i'd love to learn to play D&D. going to find a tutor for piano lessons again too i think
he loves rhodesia
You need to look at the root of your problems. Chances are, there's a reason behind these feelings, such as, for instance, being out of shape, or not being social enough. You need to access what the problems are, and once you do, you need to start addressing them. I guarantee you that even the first step to the solution will help you out immensely. For example, if your problem is that you're unemployed, then you will feel a lot better once you submit your first application. Keep at it and you'll get a better you (which ties into the point given at >>24073423 ), which in turn will help out your self-esteem.
Ah, Might be that then. Chicken breast is GOAT, 48 grams of protein per 260 calories or something like that, which is only about a cup of it. Plus, there are so many ways you can cook it and things you can pair it with that it doesn't get old, if you care about that kind of thing.
I can also personally recommend getting into math. It's a bit strange of a hobby, but if you get into it, it's a wonderful thing to talk about with other people who like it, and it can be really fun. Khan Academy is a good place to start, and it's really just a mentality of wanting to solve puzzles.
i minored in math, did up to ordinary diff eq i think
yeah ive been trying to do things with chicken breast, teriyaki/fried rice/soysauce/breaded/lemon but now im all out of ideas
i cant into milk either because of lactose intolerance so theres that
Really? On a career basis, was minoring in math worth it?
Worst comes to worst with chicken you can take it like medicine by using a george foreman grill and cooking it en masse for weekly meals.
How can I understand what my friend is going through if they have depression from messed up childhood experiences and trust issues?
What kind of things is counselling going to be teaching them?
>i work at an elementary school
and i dont have a grill
you basically take a few courses related to a certain topic showing you know a little about whatever you picked, it doesnt mean shit honestly. yeah i suppose so
No idea. I'm afraid that I have no actual psychological experience whatsoever - I'm just saying stuff from a normie's standpoint, so perhaps you'll get an actual answer in a few mins. However, when I went to therapy for depression, what they did with me is they tried to get me to open up about stuff so that we can understand the nature of my problems and how to deal with them. I imagine that they will be going through the same process.
I tried that. I really really did. The whole changing yourself and self improvement. From an outside perspective, things were going great. I was the lowest weight if been in over a decade, I was making money, my apartment was kept clean, my friend noticed people checking me out, ect. However, it was still there like an ink stain. No matter how many pages I turned, the ink would bleed through to the top. I knew I was still miserable, and one day it all came crashing down. I was worse than when I started.
The problem is that I am incapable of loving me and I can't fathom a me that I could become that would make it any different.
I think you need to see an actual therapist, because you seem depressed and perhaps even a bit self-destructive, so this is an issue that can't simply be resolved by going on 4chan. Therapy honestly helps a lot, but the hardest step in going there in the first place, so if you manage to pass that hurdle I think that you'll feel a lot better. Best of luck, I really hope that things work out bro.
Well how did knowing the nature of the problem help you deal with it? Was talking about it the most important step? Or did you have to learn mental techniques for not feeling as bad when depression hits?
I am depressed. Always have been. One of my earliest memories is going to a child therapy center regularly, then I went to various psychologists growing up, then psychiatrists, and eventually I just learned to hide it because I knew how frustrated my mom was. I didn't mention it because depression is a big buzzword anymore.
Anyway, I live in burger world, so therapy is beyond the scope of my budget.