Looking for women willing to trash my house for money.
Please bring power tools. chainsaws, sledgehammers, anything that can cause major irreparable damage to my house
Please come with the mentality that you want to make me cry and feast on my tears. will pay any amount of money.
Nigga, if you're gonna pay me big money to destroy your house, I can be whatever you want me to be.
but I'm a dirty hippy, I could never attack someone else for being one
and moderately well, I'm pretty short so if I lose control and injure myself you're gonna have to take me to the hospital
I'll pay any bills revolving any injury what I ask is for you to be careful but have fun
I'm a little hesitant giving you a chainsaw and you calling yourself a hippy. Because I want you to flat out destroy all my plants and call me a "tree hugging faggot."
run over my rose buses with my hummer i'll even give you the keys and please cut down all my trees
say "i'll make toothpicks out of your little backyard forest"
fucking tear my california king bed to shreads with a chainsaw
Let me destroy your computer and monitor by tossing them through your windows then back inside breaking all windows then throw them at your Hummer's windows finally just sticking the broken pieces inside the exhaust pipe and the engine. Then you can walk your ass you the nearest electronic store and buy me another computer to destroy right at the cashier's counter.
The funny part is that if I bothered to shave, I'd actually make a decent trap. I've thought about doing it before, but man, the effort.
I'll just sick with that twink life.
Yeah because an aggressive tranny destroy my new computer makes perfect sense.
You better fucking stuff those padded bras and liquor me the fuck up to the point where I cant tell the difference between a woman and a trap
Also you gotta sound like a woman. Try to sound as motherly as possible when breaking my shit
>Oops. I broke that ming vase of yours. And this painting! and your televison! and your expensive china!
and just keep going
>sound like a woman
My one weakness. My voice is disproportionately deep compared to how girly my body is. I got hips like the universe thought I might be having kids some day, then realized I was a dude and just went; "Nah, fuck it. Just leave 'em."
Oh well, I guess I'll just have to get an actual job.
Insurance companies don't want to keep paying out, and they're going to employ private investigators to look into you if you keep making the same type of claim every couple of months. You're going to end up in prison for insurance fraud if you are really pulling this shit as often as you say.
Reason why I need you to sound like a girl and look like a girl is because cheap liquor gets me boozed up the fastest I dont know why
but I will snap out of it immediently if I hear something that doesn't sound right. Like if i'm fucking a woman and her voice ends up sounding like nails on a chalk board chances are I am fucking a guy
luckily this hasn't happened yet
I'm 18 with a background in contruction. Where are you
Before I get into that do you promise to be really into it
I want my whole backyard looking like where you'd put a strip mall
and I want you to call me horrible horrible names. names that would make tree huggers wanna kill themselves seriously go to town with that chainsaw
I want every tree in my backyard to be toothpicks I want my house to look like it was "Project X" to death
I pay women extra money who come hungry. There is white bread and things to make sandwiches with on the counter. If you eat while you trash stuff I will gladly pay you extra
the more the merrier.
NO! maid uniform is perfect
please play it off as ditzy as possible
>Hello sir I heard your house needed a deep cleaning that's why I brought this chainsaw and sledgehammer
for every sandwich you put in your mouth the harder my dick is gonna be
California. I'm gonna need you to operate power tools and take sick pleasure in destroying my place. Cut down all my trees, rip my curtains to shreads, drive my car over rosebushes
Normally I only allow women to come to these events because women have the most pent up aggression
if your a boy and really REALLY wanna go...you need to go the extra mile and be the most convincing trap you can be. Then fucking force feed me liquor...lots of liquor while I watch and masturbate to all the progress
I'll get even harder if you eat while you break shit.
Yep. 20 different kinds of hard liquor.
and please feel free to make and eat as many sandwiches as possible while you trash my place
I like my women volunteers to be hungry and lick the tears off my face at all the mindless destruction
spit on me, yell as loud as you can, masturbate along to the destruction.
oh god please my dick can only get so erect.
come hungry, come willing, and come ready to make me miserable. and leave feeling satisfied like you dont give a shit about what you just did
So long as you're a woman, you're hot and willing to go the extra mile to get piad extra you're all set
aprons, maid outfits, or nothing at all.
Casual is OK but please understand...my pants will be dropped and i'll be fapping to this and drinking and encouraging
If you have money, and it sounds like you do, feel free to dress me up in absolutely any slutty outfit you desire. Or multiple ones that I would change periodically. As long as I get to keep them
Any way to contact you?
oh. I would have happily offered you a drink.
I would have loved our opening conversation would have started
>is this the place
>judging from how you have a hammer in your hand and i'm not nervous yes this is the place. may I offer you a drink?
are you really giving me this option. I'd fucking make you dress like a slutty hyper materialistic spoiled brat
fucking I want you to rock me in bed and say
>God someone get me a bulldozer i'm gonna pave down that whole forest near your house. I dont even need a reason.
Seriously. Hypermtaerialistic. someone who flat out hates the environemnt and longs to destroy it
you can contact me via email
I'll give it to you on one consition
you fucking come with the mentality that all rainforests should be made into toothpicks
You better skip merrily out to my backyard, go to the nearest tree and say
>Ew. I hate trees. Nature disgusts me.
Then laugh as you cut it down along with the rest of them. promise me this.
You say this but you'd need to fucking make me believe it
>fucking push my ass onto the couch you'll destroy later
>force feed me liquor and tell me how much your gonna enjoy turning my backyard into a landfill
Sounds like a fantasy to me.. Show some proof of anything.. Any little bit of proof and we are getting somewhere..
Like a pic of you and your hummer.. Holding a hammer.. Then I'll believe this shit.
This is just a small example. Not exact but close.
Why? are you a woman and are you interested?
I might be if you post a non generic picture of you and your hummer holding a hammer...