22 m from aus here, need your help. My life's falling apart and I don't know what to do. My girlfriend is desperate to get married, and I just don't want to go there yet. Any time she brings up the subject and I don't get to the point of proposing to her, she gets extremely emotional. We've been together just over a year now, and she's had depression since before I started dating her, stemming from a string of boyfriends that ended up leaving her (and a couple that actually died). I don't want to break her heart by leaving her as well, but I'm at a loss on how to continue. Just talking to her annoys me at the moment. To top it off, the job of my dreams just finished their selection process recently, and I was rejected, so this upcoming year is completely uncertain for me.
What should I do?
It's time you be a man and do the right thing. If you're not interested in marrying her then you need to let her go so she can find someone that wants to marry her. Keeping it going only makes it worse for both of you in the end.
Also, your dream job will come around again and if it doesn't well that's kinda how life works. I didn't grow up as a kid wanting to be a machinist when I got older but I am now and it's fun and I get paid well. Life's how you deal with the bad things that happen to you not the good.
It's not so much that I'm flat out not interested in marrying her. At the moment, it's not something I'd want with anybody, my current job can barely sustain myself.
At some point in the future I might be in a better position to get married, but that time isn't now.
This as many times over as possible, unless you've already explained this to her and she us just that desperate to get married she doesn't listen in which case you still leave but only this time it's because she's crazy.
Real talk, she's damaged goods OP.
You tell her if she keeps pushing this shit she's going to push you away. Do NOT rush into marriage. Wait until like 30+ to even think about that, you've got so much more to learn before you should even think about marriage.
She's desperate to have someone to cling to dude. She thinks that marriage is a cure all for not being alone. That is something you need to get away from, she's probably pretty needy and clingy too I'm betting. Shit gets old quick lemme tell you. It's gonna suck for her and you but if she's not listening to reason now imagine it later on in life.
On a side note since this is /soc/ is she hot?
Then yeah, like everyone is saying, abort that shit. She sounds like she's crazy enough to poke holes in your condoms or trying to get knocked up so that she ties you down with a kid, then your life is really shot.
Marry her and have kids with her. It doesn't matter if you don't have the best job.
Having kids in your 20s is the best time to, if you wait until your 30s or 40s you might miss your chance and any woman you get will be too old to reproduce. A 35 year old woman makes worse babies with higher chance of birth defects than a 14-30 year old, when you're supposed to be having kids.
You're lucky to have a girl that likes you and would stick with you. Ungrateful shit.
That describes her pretty well, yeah. And that's part of my thinking in wanting to wait, for her to mature for one and see if her way of thinking changes, cause at the moment it's just rushing in without thinking.
I certainly think so.
If just talking to her after a year is annoying you now, think of how it will be later down the track. Seems like you guys just want completely different things, and if she's not willing to compromise, then maybe you're just not right for each other.
Personally i would end it ASAP.
Like the other poster said, not too long from now she's going to rig the birth control either poking holes in condoms, not taking her pill or whatever to get a kid and then you're locked in and might as well give up.
Also, don't make her your slave, that type of shit is only fun so long. It gets tiring after a while, and don't listen to the others about being ungrateful. Trust me, I literally just separated from my wife of 17 years. We got together in our teens. You need time to figure out who you are, you grow as a person more in your 20s and early 30s than you ever do as a teen. Once you get a solid job and know who you are and what you eant is when you should start thinking about marriage.