Comrades of the Union of Protected Kobold Republics! Today will be the greatest day you have ever lived! You will fight the fascist Gnome invaders with all your strength! For each and every fallen Kobold soldier, you will make them pay with TEN of theirs. There will be no mercy for the enemy!
Know what they have done to your land, to your HOME! Hatchlings butchered in their beds, mothers cut down as they screamed for mercy! Remember, great Comrade Steeltooth's orders: NOT. ONE. STEP. BACKWARDS! You will be well equipped for the battles that lie ahead. You will have food, water, weapons and plenty of ammunition. What did you suppose the Gnomes have?
Nothing! Their supply lines are stretched too thin; their dash to our home has left them without the strength to bring us a proper fight. With our superior strength and numbers, and our boundless courage, victory is ours! We shall stop the fascist invaders there - at Steelhold!
>Union of Protected Kobold Republics
I like this. I like it a lot.
I'm telling you, Imperial Chinese. Replace the Emperor with whatever dragon they've rallied around.
But maybe we can compromise at 'ChiComms'.
We can coexist as long as you don't have a cow about dragonborn/lizardfolk/halfdragon tits.
I kind of want to see a dragonwrought kobold with defined chest bumps made up of the muscles for both their arms and their wings. Being annoyed everyone thinks he's female because they look like small breasts.
But then I'm easily amused.
The former can be transformed from other races, the latter can be half breasted being. Lizardfolk make no sense.SO HOW BOUT THEM KOBOLDS HUH?
What can kobolds eat? As in, compared to a standard human, what notable discrepencies are there?
I hope they can eat chocolate. No race should be without chocolate.
HA HA! I DO BELIEVE ITS TIME TO POST THIS AGAIN!
You just had to go there. Not something like pondering spicy foods, or if they eat organs like the brain, or even stuff like the edibility of poisonous mushroom.
You just had to fucking go there. Again. You shit.
...damnit it shouldn't be funny. But it is. I can't stay mad, it's the internet after all.
The logic behind this dirty mind misunderstood is flawed for a reason.
If chromatic dragons had blow jobs everyday they wouldn't too relaxed for worry about world domination or any evil conspiracy as per usual.
Imagine the mechanical applications of kobolds blow job skills.
A party in the wilderness haves to take care of daily rations except the kobold of the group, as far as there is males he can obtain his daily "ration". Also this will save money in brothels as the other party members will be too dry for feel the urge to relief.
I take it for granted that they would.
Not eating the organs such as brain, intestines and so on and so forth is a thing only us very well off people of the west get to opt out of and even then it's a very modern trend.
Our lord and master.
>Be a kobold bard
"Oh, aren't you cute?"
>Let female humanoid hug you and pet you
>Female humanoid finds you are big were it counts
"So, want to go to a more comfortable place in which I can tell you the secret about kobold's second tail?"
-My liege we have theories that the princess may had lost her virginity at the hands of two humanoids of great dimensions, minotaurs or ogres most likely.
-By the horns of Erastyl! Purge my lands of those pests! Has the princess said something?
-No my liege, she seems to be still in some sort of...eh...mystical bli...coma.
-My poor child, how this could happened in my very own castle? The most secure fortress in the whole island! Dracbait, my faithful kobold cavalier, will you guard the innocence of my other daughter?
-Don't despair my lord, no humanoid of great size will put a hand on her silky alabaster skin.
ive always been more interested in the gnome hating side of things
one day i hope to have all the material detailing the animosity between the 2 races
which is odd because gnomes are one of my favourite races (well more accurately garl glitter gold is my favourite deity i tend to play humans still)
"I can't understand why someone could bang a kobold. I mean, a halfling? Sure. A gnome? Too. Even a dwarf, but a kobold?"
>New member joins the party, female kobold rogue
>Dem fucking huge hips, dem turgid round and firm scale covered butt
>Wiggles it each time she disables a trap
>Have to be around to protect her from wandering monsters as she does her work
>She looks at me like if she knew something I don't
>Start having wet dreams
No! This can't be! I can't desire bang a kobold girl!
Someone call the Scaly Spelunking Service? Pipes, plumbing, and spouts, no matter the hole, we scope it out.
"Snorri, you being a dwarf and therefore had dealt with humans more often than I, care to explain me why the duchess was so nervous when I was around the throne room? She even told one of her maids to provide me with halfling pants and stop using my loincloth"
"Lets say she has realized why the adjective little can't be applied to kobolds"
You anon, need to make that, using this.
How did this thread get so far without this image, its pretty much obligatory by this point.
Could post kobolds, but I posted basically all of mine that I didn't get from the thread last night, in the thread last night.
I used to like gnomes before this author. Then that one fucking gnome ruined the entire race for me.
So is that book any good?
I enjoyed it enough that I preordered the next one coming out in January.
The first book is free for Kindle. It's called Ren of Atikala.
All right, cool. Just got it.
Too bad Ren's not male. Any male kobold main characters in the book?
These guys had strength of 9 and 10 respectively, for kobolds that meant they were built like olympic athletes.
No wonder they were good at seducing big awkward mammals.
>What can kobolds eat?
Kobolds in folklore ate silver and turned it into cobalt. This can be used to explain kobold attacks on people, they want their silver to eat it without having to mine.
Oh. Is it because it's full of people's OCs?
He likes it when he's brought nice things.
Wish there was more kobold storys that involved snuggling together for body heat.
clearly that's why halfdragons are so desirable to kobolds
> not a trap kabold that acts all snugly and cuddly until it gets the paladin tied up and then goes dom on his ass
Well, yeah. All of those kobolds are OCs.
> Wizards of the Coast posting comics about each type of dragon
> one for greens has a family tree for all dragons
> kobolds nowhere to be found
Well I tried.
why do the mods hate that tubby kabold?
It looks cute anon. I like it. Although for some reason the bard reminded me of Sweeny Todd.
>why do the mods hate that tubby kobold?
Yea, it's weird they deleted it. I don't like it, but it doesn't seem to be breaking any rules.
You know, I actually had a weird daydream about an Imperial Guard squad that got stuck on a fantasy planet where they ran into a tribe of helpful kobolds.
They think that they dragged one of their wounded off for nefarious purposes but it was really just making sure he/she got proper medical care from their alchemist because they were in danger of dying.
Not sure where to take it from there... just this silly idea that popped into my head because I like my kobolds being all operator and competent and stuff. And I like having all kinds of little herbal and alchemical playthings and cures.
I'm looking for the Beta Rules of no country for old kobolds. Anybody here has access to the files? I missed the kickstarter...
Yeah, gun wielding kobolds are no joke! Their racial class, Bushwacker, is an insanely scary little commando build. Give them some las-carbines and you're in for a world of pain!
I was thinking they would team up after the imperials are stuck there for a while, overcome the language barrier, get to know each other a little, fun times.
Maybe fight some badguys together.
I don't know how the Imperium would respond to meeting a race who legitimately want to be good allies. Not like the Tau who claim to be nice and friendly but are expansionist dicks, a race who's really just... good guys.
Half the issue in 40k is that all the aliens are dicks who attack humanity until they're so jaded they just shoot on sight.
I know that deathclaws are from Fallout, but I don't get the joke.
In fallout 2, there was a vault filled with hyper-intelligent Deathclaws. They were about as smart as normal humans, despite being 12-foot-tall reptilian killing machines. One in particular, who could join your party, always wore a big billowing robe. The kobold on the left resembles him.
>I think the robe was to keep people from freaking out when they saw him.
He sounds cute, though.
inb4 Chosen One/deathclaw shipping
Sounds good to me!
I don't have the appropriate screencap anymore, but it's occurred on /tg/ before.
Not that that should surprise anyone.
>“Every fucking day. Every single fucking day when i come home this little faggot just sits there and gives me this stupid look on his face. What should i do about him? Ideas?”
>not sure if lewd.jpg
A game about a kobold detective sounds really fun.
>not sure if lewd.jpg
You and I both know the answer to that.
Hows about frilled-neck Kobolds?
My next character, going with a weird achient Egyptian theme that will come out on a later stage
I think I might have a new character. Urban ex-guard kobold single mom who turned to joining dungeon delving and tomb robbing expeditions for coin for her hatchlings.
I just know I'll get a DM who kills off backstory NPCs if I ever play her.
I'm seriously thinking about making a martial (warrior not rogue) Kobold for a Pathfinder campaign. Is is doable? Or is it a lost cause?
If it can work can I get some advice on building him? Or any good resources?
Seems to be quite a few gun-using kobold images. How are they at gun-slinging?
>increased dex ->improved ranged attack skills
>improved crafting skills ->superior skill at using/servicing complex equipment
They'd be vicious. Worse than the VC.
I don't see any difference. Someone point it out to me, because I appear to be blind.
Also, we need more fantasy races as commies. And nazis. And Military Juntas. King, queen, warlord, council of elders, it's all been done to death by this point.
Well, plenty of fantasy races are communists, i would say. There are not a lot that are outright Soviet though. I can see it for kobolds.
>kobold army is the Red Army
>so called because they paint their scales red to appear as a single mass of uniform soldiers
>very intimidating and helps prevent the enemy from spotting officers
>service is mandatory; at the end of your tour you can wash the paint off if you are mustered out
>but if you've been in long enough the paint has rubbed in permanently where the helmet strap sits on the neck
>all kobolds bear this mark as a symbol of service and pride. those who lack it have left the army before completing their tour, and are shunned as cowards and defeatists.
Excerpt from November 7, 1941
Hunger and poverty reign in Gnomeland. In four and a half months of war Gnomeland has lost four and a half million soldiers. Gnomelamd is bleeding white; her manpower is giving out. A spirit of revolt is gaining possession not only of the nations of Europa under the Gnomish invaders' yoke, but of the Gnomish themselves, who see no end to the war.
The Gnomish invaders are straining their last forces. There is no doubt that Gnomeland cannot keep up such an effort for any long time. Another few months, another half year, one year perhaps-and Gnomeland must collapse under the weight of its own crimes.
Comrades, Red Army and Red Navy men, commanders and political instructors, men and women guerrillas!
The whole world is looking to you as a force capable of destroying the brigand hordes of Gnomish invaders. The enslaved peoples of Europa under the yoke of the Gnomish invaders are looking to you as their liberators. A great mission of liberation has fallen to your lot.
Be worthy of this mission! The war you are waging is a war of liberation, a just war. Let the heroic images of our great ancestors inspire you in this war!
Let the victorious banner fly over your heads!
Utter destruction to the Gnomish invaders!
Death to the Gnomish armies of occupation!
Long live our glorious motherland, her freedom and her independence!
Under the banner-onward to victory!
'GOOOOD MORNING ABEIR TORIL!
This is your host, DJ Dragontongue, as always. To start us off I've got the latest hit single from the Eleminimalists, "Suck it, Volo". After that it's the weather with everyone's favorite Blue Dragon, Thesalynth, and then we'll rock your morning with one hour of uninterrupted Bardsong. And remember to stay tuned after that for the morning news. But now, "SUCK IT VOLO!" '
I'd listen to a kobold radio show every day.