You're a remembrancer, you can choose which Primarch you want to serve with in the Great Crusade but Sanguinius and Vulkan are booked.
Who do you pick?
Ferrus. He seems like a hard motherfucker but not necessarily a dick. Wish he didn't die like a bitch though. He deserved better.
Yeah Ferrus seems like a decent pick, he'll probably not understand why you make an effort to make whatever it is you're remembrancing look nice, but he probably won't be an ass about it and will only tell you what you're doing is a waste of time once or twice.
The Khan. Scars actually made him out to be a pretty good guy.
You can make an argument for any Legion, but the best answers are Luna Wolves or Emperor's Children. Remember, this would be before any Heresy. These two Legions were the most favored of all. Obviously Horus was Horus, and the EC were his fucking "children."
Horus was his undisputed favorite son. He named him Warmaster. He was considered the greatest primarch by all. His legion was the face of the crusade. They were the best, because that makes their fall and the heresy itself a better story.
The Emperor's Children were so disciplined, so martially perfect that the Emperor named them his children. They were the only legion allowed to wear the Imperial Eagle. You could say while Horus was his favorite son, the EC were his favorite legion.
Although all the Astartes were practically seen as gods, these two legions were above the others in accolades.
He hated the fact that they had recording devices and whatnot. He believes that that would lead to forgetfulness and stories should be gathered firsthand and retold by word of mouth.
Checkout Prospero Burns.
Thought the Dork Angels and Ultramarines were the two that brought the most worlds into imperial compliance? Also Dorn and the Iron Hands were his personal bodyguard legion along with the Custodes, and the Space Wolves were his "get shit done" legion.
Seems like they're more important than the Emperor's Children.
Anyone uncomfortable with having cameras around is sketchy in my books.
If what you're doing is meant to be a matter of public record, that is not his times killing other Primarchs, then why would anyone have a problem with documentation?
The majority of Primarchs are described as bald though.
He actually gave Khan more hair than he has in canon which I thought was pretty funny.
Probably because Vulkan frequently pushed his and his men's superhuman physical durability to it's capacity. He and his soldiers would be fighting literally inside a volcanic caldera, and his rememberancer would be melting into the ground or something.
well desu the Wolves were the ones sent to do the jobs that the other legions would balk at. that kinda stuff is probably not supposed to be seen by the media, same with the Alpha Legion, Night Lords or Raven Guard.
Also the not liking cameras thing is a Fenris thing, not a Leman Russ thing.
Yes, and Horus who as Warmaster and spoke with the Emperor's authority betrayed the Emps and altered the orders.
yeah that's why I'm saying they're the "get shit done" legion. The emps turns to them when something BIG comes up.
>when something big comes up
They fucked up a simple arrest job because they're so blindly loyal and quick to resort to savage violence that they'll burn one of their brother's home to the ground with him and his children in it.
Meanwhile the Emperor turned to the Luna Wolves and Horus to take over the Crusade after his legion spearheaded the entire operation for years.
Space Wolves have got fucking nothing on the Sons of Horus.
Lion El'Jonson seems like he'd be inspirational, and his legion was the first.
Actually, Angron and his Legion would be interesting to document. From orbit, or at least a really long telephoto lens.
He really did it because in prospero burns a bunch of his men went berserk and started attacking thousand sons legionaries and Magnus and his boys put them down. Leman being a world class autist swore revenge despite the fact that it was his inbred berserk that started the whole thing.
You have that ass backwards. Some of the TS started mutating because their gene seed sucks and Russ killed them. Magnus got pissed and they fought.
>Space Wolves have got fucking nothing on the Sons of Horus.
except staying loyal to mankind
I'd pick Dorn for pretty much these reasons.
Also I'm biased as a Templar player.
It wasn't Russ at first it was a bunch of his men, and it's not like Russ told them to burn these areas to the ground, they just felt like disobeying the most dangerous individual Primarch because they're a bunch of savages.
Unsurprisingly you wolf fags don't handle reality very well. After all it's hard looking into the mirror and realizing that your just a yiff-hungry fanboy with an IQ similar to the wolves you lust after. It's much easier to lie to yourself.
>I'm the emperor's executioner everyone fears me
>even though at least four of my brothers are better fighters then I could hope to be.
To be fair, the idea about the Wolves being the Emperor's Executioners doesn't stem from Russ' individual skill compared to his brothers; rather it comes from his willingness to both take unsavory orders without question and the relentless savagery of his Legion.
Honestly, Emperor's executioners seems like something more suited to the Luna Wolves/SoH.
They're brutal, violent, and absolutely willing to do whatever it takes to be the best.
Look at their forgeworld designs and lore.
>and absolutely willing to do whatever it takes to be the best.
That's the thing though - they were driven to be the best. They weren't necessarily driven to follow the Emperor's orders to the letter. Angron was right on the money when he compared Russ to a dog instead of a wolf - he follows the Emperor's orders (or what he believes the Emperor's orders to be, as Magnus learned to his cost) almost slavishly, simply acting instead of questioning.
Russ had a weird relationship with the Emperor.
On one hand I think he's the most loyal of all the Primarchs except for maybe Dorn, and that's both his best strength and weakness. On the other he is such a hothead it's no wonder so many people want to get him outta here and it even extends to Emoney, Russ actually hit the Emperor when he suggested a change in how he ran his legion.
The Night Lords had too much of an agenda - they were a punishment force, unleashed on worlds that the Emperor wanted to make into a lesson for others. They were also prone to inefficient sadism and cowardice when things started going against them. The Wolves, by comparison, just drop out of the Warp and start razing cities.
The only other comparable Legion would be the World Eaters, who were too uncontrollable to be relied upon for this sort of work.
Nigga wat. There is nothing someone like russ would love more than boasting about his feats and have his deeds recorded. He probably had a full host of remembracers following his every move
The Wolves appear to be a bunch of savages but they really aren't, they just embrace and promote that image to make their enemies underestimate them. Russ has contingency plans that he's worked on for years for dealing with any threat, his brothers and their legions included.
>calling me a heretic
My favorite legion are the White Scars, you know why? because Khan wasnt blindly loyal to anyone. He disagreed with the Emperor in some of the most fundamental ways and he had always seen Horus as the most worthy of them to lead, but he didnt just turn traitor because Horus told him too, he sought the truth on Prospero, and when he found it he pimp slapped Mortarion and went to Terra.
Loyalty is what tore the Legions apart, rationality would have saved them.
If all legions were like the Space Wolves, the Imperium would have died long before then.
They should have been like the sensible loyalist legions. The Salamanders, the White Scars, the Blood Angels. The Iron Hands, the Imperial Fists, and Ultramarines to lesser extents for their own respective reasons.
Not questioning anything you're told is dumb when it's to the point of literally not even thinking about something other than how to execute it. The Emperor is close to infallible, but you should still go "But why are you asking me to do this?"
If only Khan had had a mind for ruling/sieges, he could have been warmaster. He was easily the most competent of his brothers otherwise. All he cared about was the war, but he thought critically and intelligently about it. He wasn't prideful or vain either. He just wanted to get shit done, then move on and get more shit done.
Even if it wasn't Curze himself, poor poor remembrancers stuck on a ship with crazy insane rapist-murder-torturers.
>uh, Carl?... Why are you shaking all over? Why are you so pale?
>the things... I've seen... *sobs*
It's a meme, it'll die down in a week or two.
It's also based on a fairly clever circumstance that's been set up by the HH writers. They've presented the same event from multiple conflicting accountents without explicitly stating which is the impartial truth.
I would pick Iron Warriors and give them the credit they deserved, the art would be dirty, like the trenches they fought through so that others could steal the glory.
It would be awesome to convert their sieges to art eternal, leaving mementos to those that came after and rebuilt these conquered worlds , to show them the sacrifice given for their freedoms.
When they turn I would tell the stories of these very worlds and how they fell once more.
Probably OP's pic. Then just turn in things like this.
Since 2009 when 5th Ed. Space Wolves Codex hit the world.That was when yiffing accusations started. It was only intensified by the HH series with Prospero Burns and Thousand Sons. It was about one event from two sides where both in their own way is the "good guys".
>Anyone uncomfortable with having cameras around is sketchy in my books.
you sound like one of those insufferable "AM I BEING DETAINED" "sovereign citizens" If only due to the fact that they think abso-fucking-lutely everything needs to be recorded
just an observation, not an accusation
I think the world eaters would be an interesting legion too be attached too. Although, I can't see Angron or any of the legionaries being too happy with a bunch of media students arsing about the ship. What even happened to the world eaters remembrancers? I don't recall any of the books touching on it.
The Fists, I'd say their only downsides are that Dorn will tell you exactly what he thinks of your art and that they're yellow.
Other than that they're glorious, they're not ridiculously brutal and Dorn apparently has a fair sense of aesthetics
The EC and SoH were the most highly sought after postings, so I wouldn't want to be there; after those I'd say the Ultras, DAngels and BAngels would be my next choices (even at the risk of getting drunk by a hungry Blood Angel)
We need a new reporter. THIS ONE IS DEAD
>disappear into the beautiful darkness of the void, far away from the crusade, and paint armoured giants roaring across alien landscapes on their bikes
Plus they dug poetry and painting and shit.
>you'll never be a remembrancer attached to the world eaters
>you'll never eagerly make planet fall only to find that it's a ghost town
>you'll never disappointedly wade through the puddle that used to be the planets inhabitants occasional being stopped by legionary squads that want you to take a group picture
Pre-heresy I would also pic Dorn.
Post heresy not so much
>I've built a moat around my house so deep and big not even you could fill it with the corpses of your own men to get across.
I be t I could. In fact I will do! And then I will walk across their corpses and smack you upside the head!
So he did. Only Perty wasn't in the house. And the house was a bomb.
I'm the remembrancer who booked Vulkan. He's a pretty fun guy.
Alpha Legion, of course. I mean, i know they've already planned out what i'm going to record a week before i do it, and i'm probably never going to see anything that's either not staged or all according to keikaku, but it'd be fun nonetheless.
You'd end up like pic related after a week.
You know, it's pretty interesting to mention that Prospero Burns is *very* much like the 13th Warrior (which is a great film) and the original book, Eaters of the Dead. I'm not sure about the 'psuedo-Space Marine' thing that's been popping up a lot, however.
Like, Kor Phaeron is a psuedo-Space Marine. So is Luther. So is Kasper Hawser. You'd think that this treatment would actually be MORE valuable than being a Space Marine, because you have all the good qualities without the excising of humanity that comes with the full augmentation suite.
That's the best part of it all! I mean, i reckon i'm a little bit more paranoid than most people, and fairly analytical, so they'd have a blast obfuscating and adjusting everything that i'm going to record. Assuming i retain some meta-knowledge (like Omegon, and knowing their speciality) i figure i would have just as much fun.
You'd end up like pic related after a week.
The NLs are a terror weapon. An executioner needs to be a good fighter, be willing to following orders, and to take no enjoyment from the killing. Leman Russ fit the bill. Kurze, however, was about as reliable as a chocolate hammer.
Seriously, if you gave him an order like that, he'd brood about it for years. Russ would go in, kill everyone, and shrug it off as just one dirty job he had to do in the Emperor's name. Russ was simply more psychologically stable.
That's why sadists make poor soldiers. You don't want someone who's going to put his own unique spin on things, you want someone who's quick and efficient.
Mother fucking emperor.
So the legion which was made from the gene-seed of the guy who was notorious for his hubris gets special treatment to fuel said hubris.
Ant the most favored, most trusted son happens to be the most horrible traitor, and his father, who literally engendered him, didn't see that coming.
Have you ever seen Carol and Omegon in the same place though huh?
Have you ever seen anyone in the same place as Omegon?
Have you ever even seen yourself in the same place as Omegon?
That is until after several months you force yourself onto the command bridge, half starved screaming about how half the people on the battle barge don't exist and that Alpharius is bleeding the Imperium like a stuck pig.
Come to think of it, if you got a sufficiently twisted, paranoid mind to run it this would be a fun fucking game.
Your party is a group of ratlings, remembrancers and advisors attached to an Alpha legion ship drawn into a massive web of half real conspiracies created by Alpha Legion marines as a training exercise.
>You could say while Horus was his favorite son, the EC were his favorite legion.
technically speaking he also praised the ultramarines as being the finest example of a space marine legion
it's why the word bearers got so butthurt about them, before that BL nonsense started churning
>sensible loyalist legions
>forgetting Raven Guard
Knowing of the danger? Bobby G and his Funky Smurf Brigade. Him being the boss of infrastructure and security, I'd wager the highest chances of survival as well as the most commodities.
Just personal interest? Close call between Perty Boo, Ferrero Mango and the Khan, the former two because I love the mechanised legions and, knowing Perty actually is a man of architecture from the books, I'd actually take a gamble and say he'd have an eye for art.
The Khan because I wanna feel a hawk on my arm, the wind in my hair and the open steppes before me.
Being a remembrancer for the Raven Guard would probably be pretty sweet. They seem a really chill legion and Corax would probably find a reasonable place for the remembrancers in the war effort. Probably also wouldn't hate on you for making art and some of the legionaries might even show some interest.
Would make for some cool dark but noble stories, and black/white artwork picts galore.
According to "Angel Exterminatus", that's what he became, but he always had that tiny spark of creative inspiration that aspired grandeur from his works, but he pushed that spark to the back of his mind because the tasks at hand demanded functionality and efficiency.
His characterization is really inconsistent. In The Crimson Fist, he is Autistic Robot Man, utterly single-minded. He's also a really, really vicious guy who has a habit of shooting the messenger, but still has a sense of honor. Like, after a group of Imperial Fists fight their way past his honor guard, he stands up from his Heavy Metal throne (seriously, it has chains and shit) and one-hit kills them with his hammer. The fight is over so quickly they don't even bother to narrate it.
In Angel Exterminatus, which I think was REALLY badly written, he's kind of all over the place. Like, you'd think that Perturabo would be the soulless, compassionless asshole, but instead it's the Lion who apparently got that characterization until The Unremembered Empire.
I'd probably choose Raven Guard too. Probably because they're my favourite legion, but their MO and style would make for something different than "GLORIOUS WAR!" style most Imperial propaganda seems to have. Not sure how they would react for people trying to make pictures and interviewes with them, but this could be fun.
Lion - a hard shell of loneliness to peel off and a lot of sexual rewards to reap.
He would be my pity fuck fat chick.
> Wolf metaphors
Many keks were had.
>So the legion which was made from the gene-seed of the guy who was notorious for his hubris gets special treatment to fuel said hubris.
They were called the Emperor's Children before Fulgrim was even found, in part for being recruited from the children tributes of the warrior-nobility of Terra (though he re-confirmed it when he met them) and they won the honour of bearing the Aquila fair and square, for defending the wounded Emperor - and as it happens they were pretty much the perfect legion (being small in number, but noble perfectionists) to act as the heralds and standard-bearers
The Big E was kind of an ass about a lot of things. He was also an idiot about a lot of things.
Not surprised the Heresy happened. Only surprised it took that long.
> inb4 Chaos scum accusation. I back Vulkan.
> Bobby G
> Perty Boo
> Ferrero Magno
Many, MANY keks were had. Nice naming.
Well, thank you for the compliment. But I think only Ferrero Mango is my original making - Bobby G is a /tg/ classic and I think Perty Boo has jumped up on this board once or twice before me.
Still, I am honoured to have roused thine keks.
IN THE GRIM BALDNESS OF THE 41ST MILLENNIUM, THERE IS ONLY LACK OF HAIR.
>The majority of Primarchs are described as bald though.
No they're not.
Lion - Hair.
Fulgrim - Hair
Perutabo - Bald
Khan - Hair
Russ - Hair
Dorn - Hair
Curze - Hair
Sangunius - Hair
Ferrus - Hair
Angron - Bald
Guilliman - Hair
Mortarion - Bald
Magnus - Hair
Horus - Bald
Lorgar - Bald
Vulkan - Bald
Corax - Hair
Alpharius - Bald
That's 11 out of 18 with hair, and I'm not even sure if Morty and Alpharius are bald.
>Russ actually hit the Emperor when he suggested a change in how he ran his legion.
Loyal, but not stupid. Russ knew that the Emperor was the only rightful leader of Mankind, and without him they were doomed. But he still did what was needed to get the job done.
Like not fragmenting his Legion and turning it into a crippled caricature that no longer was nearly as useful.
> Blood Angels, Iron Hands, Imperial Fists as sensible legions
Nigga, you what? Raging berserkers who have possibly the MOST defective gene-seed, asshole Marines Inc. who are more loyal to the Omnissiah than the Holy Emperor, and while I love the IF I sure as fuck wouldn't call them sensible. Pain glove, Obsessions, Black Templars etc.
> Kor Phaeron
> Based SW Remembrancer, who was kept alive in stasis by them
The only one of those three that isn't a Traitor didn't go through the treatment.
So, I'd say your example is that without the full package, you've probably just created an enemy of mankind.
>The only one of those three that isn't a Traitor didn't go through the treatment.
Kor Phaeron was already a Chaos Worshipper.
Luther turned due to his resentment, which would likely have been even greater if he was still just a man.
The SW rememberancer did not go through the process at all,he just got a new eye and some strengthening to survive SW land.
I come from multiple sources you anal astronaut. Prospero Burns mentions it multiple times, and in one of the other novels some WB I think are conspiring about some shit and one of them mentions if the Emps finds out they are doomed and "the wolves will be unleashed again"
>Isn't mortarion described once as having greasy black hair?
I don't know, can never tell because if the hood, but I always imagined he'd be cancer patient type bald.
>I don't think Perturabo is naturally bald
I'm not sure if any of them are naturally bald.
The only thing I remember about them is constantly getting killed in horrible ways. I don't count Kasper Howser as a remembrancer because he went (sorta) on his own and not on behest of the Imperium
theyre a human viewpoint to give the reader someone to relate to in a book full of characters who are completely alien, even if they look like giant humans with fucked up proportions.
imagine reading a book where its just giant muscle men rubbing their bolters together for 600 pages while yelling heresy
People pay a lot for that kind of stuff.
I can't help but feel that the idea of the Primarchs being these beings who are prime examples of the best aspects of humanity and can do no wrong is purely a fan thing.
They seem to more be akin to the Greek gods, an example of what happens when you have beings who behave like humanity mostly does and give them incredible amounts of power.
>Magnus was unequivocally wrong.
Except that one time he practiced sorcery after being told not to by his creator, somebody infinitely more aware of the nature of the Warp and sorcery in general.
You don't know what unequivocally means do you?
>Be the Greenest and the Best
Totally not Orks in Power Armor
The daily rituals of the Salamanders take noticeably longer than other Chapters due to Nocturnean pragmatism
12:00: "Morning" Prayer: The Salamanders are roused to begin the day with a few litanies from the Promethean Cult.
13:00: "Morning" Firing Rituals: The Salamanders practice their firing skills. Usually using flamers or meltaguns instead of bolters.
15:00: Battle practice: The Salamanders descend to the practice cages. Cages have usually been repaired from all the burn damage from the previous day by that point.
18:00: Hammer time: The Salamanders take to the maintenance of their wargear while also forging new weapons and armor.
20:00: "Midday" meal: A light meal prepared by the chapter serfs is consumed. Carolina Reaper peppers are usually a component of this, Habaneros are employed for occasions when the Salamanders might prefer something on the milder side.
21:00: Pimping of the Rides: The Rhinos, Land Raiders, and Predators are pimped out with sufficient bling.
22:00: "Afternoon" Firing Rituals: The Salamanders again take to practicing their firing skills. Again using flamers and meltaguns instead of bolters.
00:00: "Evening" meal: A feast prepared by the Chapter serfs is consumed. The meal usually consists of an ancient Terran fruit called a "Watermelon" and a helping of a certain flightless, avian animal, fried to a crisp. Beverages usually consist of a ancient Terran form of malt liquor called "Old English" or just "Ol' E". On special occasions they may even break out an ancient carbonated drink referred to "Cristal".
01:00: Free time: The Salamanders are given free time from their duties. Some reflect on their duty to the Emperor. Others go and chill with the folks in the Sanctuary Cities on Nocturne and play a game referred to as "Dominoes" or one called "Spades"
04:00: Lights out: The Salamanders retire for the "evening".
>Also they are "Black"
Abnett already stated that he finds it hard to portray space marines because of who they are supposed to be. Some of the books managed to portray both remembrancers and space marine sin an interesting way. i really enjoyed Fulgrim like that. But adding humans to outweigh the failure of the authors attempts at portraying space marines in an interesting way is not very intriguing. this becomes obvious when the remembrancers become more interesting and wellwritten than the space marines in the same novel
i never understood why the routines of the space marines were put into a daily format. proper exercixes take several hours and often several days to a week. they are not going to college. they are warriors.
Nope. Pretty sure given their stature and genetic makeup and what Emps did to them, they couldn't fuck. They're not meant to be able to fuck or breed because he wanted them as warriors and wanted normal, baseline humans to prosper, not superhumans.
>Pretty sure given their stature and genetic makeup and what Emps did to them, they couldn't fuck.
Oh boy, here we go.
No one knows, few people care, and we have only speculation to go on.
We do know because give the augmentations space marines can't get it up. FACT. Even minor steroids in our day fuck up reproduction and shrink your junk, much less the kinda shit space marines are pumped with and other random organs tampering with biology.
Primarchs were also gigantic compared to humans. Either he had a tiny dick or wouldn't even be able to fit it inside someone. And possibly may not even have the desire to DO that. The Emperor never planned to have them breed because he fought for baseline humans. He did not plan for them to be around forever and breed. They were meant to be warriors and to defend humanity. He never intended them to replace people.
The only ones who could potentially do that would be chaos space marines/primarchs. Given they've had similar shit and Slaaneshi marines get their ability to fuck and experience all sorts of other sensations. But I'm pretty sure they're still sterile in that sense.
So, maybe these dumbasses going "YEAH RUSS WAS FUKCING ALL DA LADIES!" need to shut the fuck up. They're wrong for claiming that, not me for correcting them.
>We do know because give the augmentations space marines can't get it up. FACT.
We don't know that.
> Even minor steroids in our day fuck up reproduction and shrink your junk, much less the kinda shit space marines are pumped with and other random organs tampering with biology.
>I know for a fact how near-magical future space tech made by a literal god works on the post-human body
>The Emperor never planned to have them breed because he fought for baseline humans. He did not plan for them to be around forever and breed. They were meant to be warriors and to defend humanity. He never intended them to replace people.
>if you're sterile and indoctrinated to put duty before sex, that means you're incapable of sex
>They're wrong for claiming that, not me for correcting them.
>I know nothing with certainty, take my speculation as fact
>We don't know that.
Yes, we do. But nice trying to refute it. You can still have your fantasies of huge, fat, throbbing primarch cock shoved in your ass and coating you with geneseed, but the fact remains that they can't do it. The Emperor fucked with the genes to ensure it. If this was not the case, space marines and primarchs would have been able to breed and replace people by now. They have not. Why? Because they are unable to do so.
>Yes, we do.
Post your source saying that marines couldn't get it up. You can't say "b-b-but roids!" because we have zero fucking clue how the marine biology would handle shit like that. For all we know their bodies could maintain infinite boners in spite of everything that was done to them.
It's all speculative, and unless you can cite a clear source saying otherwise, you're treating your guesswork as fact.
>The Emperor fucked with the genes to ensure it
>If this was not the case, space marines and primarchs would have been able to breed and replace people by now
What part of "you can be sterile without being impotent" do you not understand?
We don't fucking know.
I don't care if they can fuck or not. I don't have a dog in this fight. I just dislike it when idiots treat their opinions as absolute fact.
>Post your source saying that marines couldn't get it up. You can't say "b-b-but roids!" because we have zero fucking clue how the marine biology would handle shit like that.
Space marines are augmented humans. Normal steroids render humans infertile and with shrunken genitals and an inability to get it up. More organs and 40k level shit? They're done for. Because if space marines could do so, they would have done so and bred and made human/space marine hybrids of which there are zero. There's more xenos and human hybrids in 40k than space marine/primarch hybrids.
The lack of any such examples anywhere within 40k lore, either official or unofficial. Not a single example of a space marine being able to perform said task and the Emperor stating he wants HUMANS in power and to succeed, whereas space marines are a tool and fighting force.
>What part of "you can be sterile without being impotent" do you not understand?
The part where human biology completely changed to suddenly be able to handle gigantic amounts of chemical castration and being outfitted for war entirely. Even chaos space marines aren't shown to fuck much, and never to actually breed normally. And of all marines they'd be the ones most likely to do so and it'd be an easy way for more cannon fodder. Yet they don't even do that.
>I don't care if they can fuck or not. I don't have a dog in this fight.
But it seems you want the alpha wolf Russy boy in your ass with how hard you're fighting to show that he can do so. Dude, nobody's taking your fantasies from you. You can still fantasize about them if you want. I'm just stating the objective facts here. You can still enjoy the fantasy.
>Space marines are augmented humans. Normal steroids render humans infertile and with shrunken genitals and an inability to get it up
And I repeat, you don't know how the space marine biology functions. They have all kinds of extra shit. Their bodies are super-post-human. You do. not. know.
>The lack of any such examples anywhere within 40k lore, either official or unofficial
Haha, fuck man, really? Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
> Not a single example of a space marine being able to perform said task
Who knows what Wolves means when they talk about "very wild parties"? Regular soldier stories don't necessarily say: "And then my wee wee got hard and I jammed it up into her hole between her legs," because most people have a feeling what went on if a soldier says: "I had a rowdy night" or whatever. You don't know.
>The part where human biology completely changed
Ah, you mean like Space Marines. Okay. Oh, and have you ever heard about vasectomies? Are you trolling or actually this retarded?
>But it seems you want the alpha wolf Russy boy in your ass
Look bro, if that's your fetish, there's no need to project it on to me. We're all anon here. Methinks thou doth protesteth too much
>And I repeat, you don't know how the space marine biology functions. They have all kinds of extra shit. Their bodies are super-post-human. You do. not. know.
I do. Because they're merely augmented humans, not something else entirely. I can go to the wiki and tell you every single organ they have and what it does. None of it has anything to do with reproduction. They even have a gland to create geneseed that is gathered up by apothecaries. If they had another way to create such genes, like semen, they'd be able to gain geneseed and their own genetics way easier and in vast amounts. Wanna know why they don't do it that way and require a new organ to "live on" in the chapter?
>Who knows what Wolves means when they talk about "very wild parties"? Regular soldier stories don't necessarily say: "And then my wee wee got hard and I jammed it up into her hole between her legs," because most people have a feeling what went on if a soldier says: "I had a rowdy night" or whatever. You don't know.
We don't know what they did. But we sure know they weren't having sex.
>Ah, you mean like Space Marines. Okay. Oh, and have you ever heard about vasectomies? Are you trolling or actually this retarded?
Space marines aren't a different species. They start as normal humans and their human bodies undergo those chemical and biological changes. None of which have to do with breeding and the only way to create more of their genes is to have a specific organ to do so given space marines aren't just jizzing every day and overflowing with tons of space marine genetics.
>Look bro, if that's your fetish, there's no need to project it on to me. We're all anon here. Methinks thou doth protesteth too much
It's clearly yours. Someone says Russ fucks? Yeah, you don't say a word. Someone disagrees? Well, shit, now you HAVE to fight about it because that'd ruin your fantasy of the big ol' alpha wolf that you want spraying his geneseed all over your ass.
>I do. Because they're merely augmented humans, not something else entirely.
No, you don't. You can't draw a direct line from roiding humans to super post humans with shitloads of testosterone. It's not the same.
> I can go to the wiki and tell you every single organ they have and what it does. None of it has anything to do with reproduction.
And why? Because we don't know.
> If they had another way to create such genes, like semen
This is the last time I'll say it: being able to fuck is not the same thing as being able to reproduce.
>We don't know what they did.
>But we sure know they weren't having sex.
You just said you don't know.
>Space marines aren't a different species. They start as normal humans and their human bodies undergo those chemical and biological changes. None of which have to do with breeding and the only way to create more of their genes is to have a specific organ to do so given space marines aren't just jizzing every day and overflowing with tons of space marine genetics.
>I have no idea what a vasectomy is
>It's literally 100% inconceivable that the transformation into a near-magical super post human designed by a literal god removes your ability to produce live sperm, but not your ability to get erections
This is way beyond asinine.
Unless you can cite a SPECIFIC source - not speculation, not "I think," not guesswork, not extremely poor conclusions based on faulty guesswork, but concrete sources - then we're done here.
>No, you don't. You can't draw a direct line from roiding humans to super post humans with shitloads of testosterone. It's not the same.
Yeah, we can. Because too much testosterone kills your body's ability to make any. And a male without testosterone is a male who cannot get it up.
>And why? Because we don't know.
Tell me which of the space marine organs allows them to get space marine erections. Go on.
>This is the last time I'll say it: being able to fuck is not the same thing as being able to reproduce.
But it is. If space marines can fuck, this means they can ejaculate. If they couldn't, there would be no sex drive. So, tell me, if space marines can create semen and have a sex drive to have sex, and clearly masturbate, why do they need a specific organ to create geneseed for the chapter when they could gather it all up from semen and have stockpiles of geneseed for later use?
>You just said you don't know.
About the events of the party. But given space marine biology, we know sex wasn't on the menu. And even primarch biology for that matter.
And if it was possible, chaos would not be so low on people. They could fuck cultists all day every day and have slews of hybrids. Chaos has no morals. Their only goal is to serve their own ends. Why do they rarely fuck? Why do they never reproduce? Even Slaaneshi marines aren't shown to fuck or reproduce. Slaaneshi cultists, AKA normal human variants, can fuck all day every day if they want. Why was it so strange for space marines in the Emperor's Children to feel any "stirrings" during that massive fucking orgy they had that lead to the noise marines being created? Because it ain't part of their biology or normal, every day feelings and sensations. And even then, only the Slaaneshi marines could feel it at all. So to even have that desire they had to be corrupted by the chaos god of excess. And I'm pretty sure those desires ended up being a fucking bloodbath and not sex.
>Yeah, we can.
No, you can't. They're just not big humans. They're super post humans. You know nothing.
>Tell me which of the space marine organs allows them to get space marine erections. Go on.
The dick? Just because the organ isn't described in a wiki doesn't mean it's not there. Jesus fuck.
>But it is. If space marines can fuck, this means they can ejaculate
You're so ignorant. Ejaculate is not comprised entirely of sperm cells. Google "vasectomy". Also, Big E could easily just have removed their ability to produce sperm.
To spell it out: There exists, right now, men who are able to get erections, fuck bitches, shoot cum in them, and not have babies, because their cum does not contain sperm.
>And if it was possible, chaos would not be so low on people. They could fuck cultists all day every day and have slews of hybrids.
>I still have no idea what a vasectomy is, and I'm so stupid that I think A LITERAL GOD is unable to make warriors able to fuck some bitches in their spare time (and the wolves do have spare time that they just have fun in, it's not 100% only service to the Emperor) during some R&R, while being unable to shoot baby-marines up some bitche's snatch.
I can only repeat that this is way beyond asinine. You don't know. Space marine dicks are, weirdly, a regular subject on /tg/. It always ends with "ultimately, we don't know". You don't know. I don't know. Stop pretending like you know.
I'm done here.
>No, you can't. They're just not big humans. They're super post humans. You know nothing.
They're not post-anything. They're tools of war. They can't breed and so depend entirely on humanity for new recruits. They're not a new independent species or offshoot because they rely on baseline humans to be recruited to replenish their numbers.
>The dick? Just because the organ isn't described in a wiki doesn't mean it's not there. Jesus fuck.
But given the chemicals and things they undergo, we know it wasn't possible. So it must be some other space marine organ that allows this. Which one is it?
>You're so ignorant. Ejaculate is not comprised entirely of sperm cells. Google "vasectomy". Also, Big E could easily just have removed their ability to produce sperm.
To spell it out: There exists, right now, men who are able to get erections, fuck bitches, shoot cum in them, and not have babies, because their cum does not contain sperm.
Last I checked, space marines do not get vasectomies as part of the process to turn them from normal human into a space marine.
>I can only repeat that this is way beyond asinine. You don't know. Space marine dicks are, weirdly, a regular subject on /tg/. It always ends with "ultimately, we don't know". You don't know. I don't know. Stop pretending like you know.
We do know. And so do you. Hence why you're avoiding noise marine history and the very story that explains how fucking weird it was for space marines to feel lust, and how they handled that lust by shedding blood rather than just fucking.
Get fucked, you headcanon fetishist. Primarchs and space marines can't fuck or reproduce. Deal with it and shut the fuck up.
So if we look at the question of space marine erectile dysfunction semi scientifically, two of the 19 implants involved in the creation of space marines release hormones that could have an effect on penis functionality.
>Phase 2: A small, complex, tubular organ, the ossmodula secretes hormones that both affect the ossification of the skeleton and encourages the forming bone growths to absorb ceramic-based chemicals that are laced into the Marine's diet.[2a] This drastically alters the way a Space Marine's bones grow and develop. Two years after this implant is first put in the subject's long bones will have increased in size and strength (along with most other bones), and the rib cage will have been fused into a solid mass of bulletproof, interlocking plates.
>Phase 3: This small, circular organ is inserted into the chest cavity and releases hormones that vastly increase muscle growth throughout the marine's body. It also serves to form the hormonal basis for many of the later implants.
Now, as far as I can tell there's no clear analogue to the ossmodula hormones in the real world, but i have a hard time seeing where bone affecting hormones the phrasing on the biscopea implants makes me believe the closest analogue is something like Human Growth Hormone although another possibility is a testosterone like hormone.
Going by the wikipedia page and some limited googling erectile dysfunction is not a sideeffect from too much HGH, it did however seem to result in increased penis size in humans in trials.
Excessive testosterone on the other hand it seems can result in infertility through the suppresion of spermatogenesis which is the creation of new sperm, meaning it does not prohibit the "act" but simply means they'll be shooting blanks.
Now, if the space marine are able to reproduce that raises the question why they need the geneseed, could they not simply breed to create new space marine?
Not as far as I'm aware, no where in the process of the creation, is the genetic code altered. With regards to the effect on potential offspring the implants are equally as hereditary as a mechanical arm replacement.
Get sent as a remembrancer to NLs, interview pic related.
It would be either terrifying or absolutely hilarious.
I think the Space Wolves didn't like remembrencers at first. A least they wouldn't dump them in space like the World Eaters probably did, but art really wasn't their cup of ale.
That was before the Heresy though. Afterwards, they started liking stories of the old time and gained a newfound appreciation for them. So they put them in the freezer and occasionally thaw them out like Bjorn for story time. Though most of them are probably from Propero, since they likely threw their own assigned ones away beforehand.
Well they do have a third lung on top of two hearts. Besides that I imagine their muscles are strengthend to compensate for the weight.
I think he was referring to the fact that the ribcage needs to expand to allow lungs to inflate with air, and that's possible thanks to the ribs structure. a solid bone slab can't do that
This is what I would paint.
A big, nearly floor to ceiling painting of Guilliman, standing in a fanciful throne room, with his finest men aside him. Next to him, or in his hand, a copy of the Codex Astartes.
The Lion and Luther, in the heat of battle, fighting as brothers, great squadrons of jetbikes roaring across the sky behind them.
The Great Khan, sword raised in one hand, on his mighty warbike, belts of skulls of worthy prey flowing behind him. His bike belching flame and smog as he roars across the battlefield.
Dorn, quietly surveying the skyline of Terra at sunrise, atop a high spire of the Imperial Palace.
Ferrus and a retinue of his men, along with a massive crawling fortress, trekking along the gray and smog-choked surface of Medusa.
A portrait, head to toe, depicting the beauty of winged Sanguinius in his ornate, gold-bedecked armor.
The Rout himself, and his kin, in the thick of bloody combat on a snowy planet. Russ heaving his mighty blade above his head, preparing to behead a foe, or render them asunder.
Corax, quietly and thoughtfully observing the aftermath of a battle (perhaps even Istvaan). Black-armored figures litter the ground around him. Carrion birds sullenly feast on the dead Astartes.
Great Vulkan at work in his forge, hefting a smith's hamner to pound a molten hot slab of adamantium into a blade.
>>I know for a fact how near-magical future space tech made by a literal god works on the post-human body
>near-magical future space tech made by a literal god
>a literal god
When will this fanfiction meme die?
> Brother-Captain, my bolter is in immidiate need of an oiling
> Didn't you excercise the proper maintanance ordeals before going into battle, brother?
> I did Brother-Captain, but apparently the lubricants dilevered are of inferior quality, may I take some of yours?
> Sure Brother, take whatever you need!
> Yes, Brother-Captain, CLEANSE THE HERESY!
something like that?
The worst part is that could almost be a straight quote.
I'd say Blood Angels, but the idea of being smacked around by Big Sangy's wings every time he turns around is not a pleasant thought.
>"What is it?.. Remembrancer? Hello?"
>"D-down here mi'lord... bless you for striking such a lowly remembrancer as I..."
>18:00 Hammer time