All right you numbnut or numbtit bastards! Drop your cocks and grab your socks! We've got work to do!
thread for those who intended to return to yesterday's eventful thread before it autosaged
>Staggers out of the trenches rubbing his temples.
Morning boys. So what do we have to do today in His glorious name?
*wanders back in*
Nah, all quiet out there. Well last night that new meat by the name of Hank stopped breathing for awhile. Apparently he's allergic to felines - and guess what, we got another felinid trooper in here.
>sticks hishead out the back of the Chimera.
Morning chaps, I miss anything while I was sleeping.
Actually Quartermaster, Hank had a major allergic reaction to one of the new troops and almost died.
And he also got shards of steel dinner plate in his private area's.
Not sure how alive this thread will be chaps, but you don't simply escape the wild ride.
Yeah I reckon this is as good a time as any to get that done.
You in, Skelly? I'm sure you can walk around with your morning tea...
*mocks the Praetorian method of drinking tea*
oh no... the ride never ends, and the rape train has no brakes...
Well since it's unlikely Hank will grow an actual dick anytime soon, I suggest he assist Skelly in the sealed, cozy Chimera, and wear a rebreather at all times when outside or when Khat is around.
Why not, I'm still in my cammies so I might as well make use of them.
>ducks back into the Chimera and returns with a flask of tea and a Bullpup Lasgun.
Lets do this Squaddie Style.
We just need to make sure he takes his allergy meds and he'll be fine, in theory that is.
A Depot of some sort that was guarded by the 'Thirteen an Oh's'.
>Starts the pilot light on his flamer
Mind if I come along? Torching folks is my third favourite thing left to do in life, and I haven't been able to since they booted me out of my regiment.
>clips the flask to his belt and readies the Lasgun.
Alright chaps, lets go have some fun.
Hm, well on Cadia it would have to be -big-, but so as to not give us completely broken levels of gear, not -THAT BIG-, Regimental or Battalion Depot maybe? The other question is what kind of Depot? supply, munitions, vehicle?
Yeah we could use ya. The rest of these pukes can watch the perimeter, and I've already checked, no sign of incoming hostiles. Let's move in...
*kicks down closest door, moves in, standard sweep pattern*
You sure? Like I said, outside is secure.
let's save d20s for skill stuff. d100 is better for stuff like this, so let's ignore that roll. Still say low is not very useful stuff, or empty, and high is awesome stuff
THE EMPEROR HAS ABANDONED US!
>The assorted group of Guardsmen moves into what appears to be a heavily ransacked Battalion-Level Munitions Depot.
>The initial area is empty save for corpses -Loyalist and Traitor alike-, but warped voices can definetly be heard from behind a stack of crates.
IGNORE THIS I SUCK COCK. Initial room is completely empty save for the dead, no chanting. I'll roll a d100 for the next area they check.
>Falls in behind
Got tired of waiting for you slugs.
We should check it, but with some caution. People keep two things behind doors like this. Stuff they don't want anyone getting their hands on, and stuff that'll take your hands off.
We can come back for it later. Let's move on.
I'm antsy to get my hands on something that doesn't belong to me.
Ah, finally, here it is. That was a soddin' trek, officer said the base was nearby. Lyin' bastard.
>pulls up goggles, rubs eyes and yawns
Bah, forest floor's still one of the better places I've slept.
Come on mate, we're Guardsmen, we didn't want to tangle with things that'd take your hands of we wouldn't have lived this long.
Fair point, we'll need to work on getting the power fully operational first, aye?
Well that Heretical bastard certainly didn't have the Omnissiah's blessing. But how did you.....we didn't try simply pushing the 'open' button.
Fuck! Don't sneak up on me Gibbers! Uh, take point, and eat the first hostile you see. Still wearing your special vest? Good.
Well, as long as he puts what he found to kickass use that's fine. Sure to be plenty more good shit in this facility.
*Burbles and lifts the dead cultist up, dancing him about like he's still alive*
*Nods and pokes the button again, closing it as the sounds of alive and angry cultists starts to come through*
*Holds up one single part that he needed, then chucks the dead cultist to the side as he fiddles with one of his mechadendrites.*
How many of the cunts are behind the door do you think?
>Opens the gas valve on the flamer, puffs of flame escaping the barrel. Inhales some more combat drugs.
Well I think it's safe to say that those Heretics won't bother us if our Enginseer isn't worrying about them. We -could- deal with them but as long as the interior door button doesn't work, we don't need to. Your vote Gary?
Aye, lets move men. We can flush this lot out once we clear the main warehouses.
>continues down the corridor towards the next storage area.
We're clearing this Depot Lance, 'Thirteen and Oh's' wanted it so there must be -something- here. And you can leave off the 'Sir', I'm a Sergeant, not an Officer.
[Spoiler]Roll suggestion accepted. Should I do it or does someone who might actually have luck today want to try it?[/spoiler]
Alright men hold here, we're going to take a peak. Vince, with me.
>moves to the doorframe and sticks his head around the corner.
I just.....I am unable to comprehend how much I am fucking up. Good thing you remembered to brain today.
Looks clear....squad, move in!
>dashes into the chamber, moving left and sweeping his sectors.
Looks like some boxes of spare parts, rations, bolter shells, a single bolter, and evidence of at least two cultists here recently.
>Bullets whiz past the group.
Looks like very recently. Eyes on boys.
I'm not sure, this room feels....off. Cover me.
>grabs a flare from his beltkit, strikes it and throws it towards the center.
Rolled 13 (1d20)
>fires off a burst at an illuminated Cultist.
Contact! Get some fire on em' lads!
Sup Khat, we went to investigate the Depot we found like 3 threads ago now I think, Friendly Enginseer proved he is hands down better at Guardsmaning than us and then we got into a firefight with Cultists. You should come join, it'll be fun.
Rolled 17, 12, 2 = 31 (3d20)
>Rolling off screen shenanigans
Rolled 17 (1d20)
Well colour me impressed, we've got ourselves a natural!
>aims at the furthest Cultist and squeezes off a pair of shots.
>takes another flare off his belt, lights it then throws it in a different direction.
Got some spare flares in my bergen, take 'em if you need 'em lads.
Rolled 38 (1d100)
>moves to investigate a stack of crates.
Hm...what have we here....
Rolling to hopefully find weapons
Rolled 95 (1d100)
>Appears from the shadows with a new scar and some suspiciously red facepaint
Check over under the shelf in the hidden boxes.
Want to just pop the lid and then see what that Servoskull found? If we're lucky it might be some ammo for your Shotgun or something.
>high roll is good. You found something good
Yeah, it is shotgun rounds. Good quality buckshot too. I'll take em.
*loads bandolier, puts rest on pallet to take back out*
Damnit, oh well at least we can make use of these.
>jogs over to the crate next to the Servoskull.
What you found here then?
>She pulls out a pristine Longlas that looks suspiciously like her own beat up one, And a carton of Lho sticks.
Hey, Not a bad haul.
>circles around the crate while shining a light at it
Well, we should head out. Only so many boxes in one room and there's bound to be a few others here in the depot.
This was just scratching the surface. People keep the good stuff farther inside. Hopefully I'll find more than some sacks of rice.
Nice find Quartermaster, I don't suppose you'd be willing to trade one for an unhealthy amount of good quality alcohol?
If you don't see anyone out there, come on in. You might find something good in all this cargo.
Huh! This one has the Mechanicus sigil on it. Hey cogboy! Think what's in here belongs to you.
01000011 01100001 01101110 00100000 01001001 00100000 01100010 01100101 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 01110010 00100000 01101101 01100001 01110011 01100011 01101111 01110100 00111111
I have still the reserves of Commissar Gaurun at my dispossal, so I have enough alkohol for the next, but I will still give you one, but you owe me a favour.
Fucking Browser. It's cool, I'll roll with it.
Aye, I'll be careful with it.
May the Omnissiah guide my hands....
>pops the latch and slowly opens the lid, revealing a Hot-Shot Lasgun with a backpack.
Well I'll be damned, looks like this was meant for the Skitarri. This'll be yours assuming you can fix it Enginseer. As thanks for fixing the Chimera up.
You are most generous mate, I'll do my utmost to pay you back once I'm able.
Rolled 20 (1d20)
The entire thing. Only reason these exist is because you get three of these for the price of two basic heavy stubbers... And munitorum loves having more guns for less money. I'll have to see if I can make this work...
I'll get to work on that booze soon as we finish sweeping the compound. Good thing we have that beast Khat killed, and that rice the Chem dog found...
I think it's best if I use it... I have the training. Any rope or working extra arm anyone?
Volg VI heavy stubber aka "Big six" aka "crank cannon. Combine pic related...
Not going to lie, a Hot-Shot would have been nice, but our Enginseer just deserves it more.
>turns to the Techpriest.
Do you want it carried back to the Chimera or would you rather work on it here?
with pic related, and make the latter operate all of the gun's systems, from loading to rotary to firing mechanism. Calixis sector's imperial troopers canonically has this as main heavy weapon at Tranch rebellion. While heavy stubbers are almost as easy to get in the same sector.
Are you sure? I'm not sure the Mechanicus would approve, but....
>shifts his bergen down on it's straps and gently pulls the Hot-shot's backpack onto his back.
....I think we can make this work.
You're too kind mate, I definetly need to get you something now.
I wonder if there's an implant that would let me understand Binary.....
Well I suppose I could boil water off the barrel after I've been fir-
>stops and raises his new Hot-Shot.
You don't think it's bloody Nurgle again do you? At least this time we'll have a Flamer.
*takes eyeball and puts it in servo skull's empty socket*
Good idea, see if that tells us anything.
might be undivided, though, how about d6 and have 5 or 6 be undivided?
I'd say leave it as undivided because Black Legion were the Spess Mehrines guarding the place but other peeps might have better suggestions.
oh right, yeah I guess that would make sense
They've got that eight-pointed-star-dealy scrawled all over themselves. That's what they call 'Chaos Undivided', right?
Should we throw a flare up there? It might be worth it but, we might also tip them off.
>pulls a flare off his belt, leaving it unlit.
Aw, thanks. *gives it a pat, stows it in pocket for techpriest to look at*
Damn, I could really use a night vision unit right about now. Well, fuck it, throw in some flares. They're gonna face us sooner or later...
Heh, if you're lucky, maybe that eye'll have one when it's fixed.
>strikes the flare off his helmet and tosses it down the corridor.
Roll to see how screwed we are?
Hm, 1d100's were the standard for these sorta rolls I think -although I can't really say anything because I made the same mistake and got like a 2 so-, but multiplying by 5 we get a 50, a 95 and a 45 so.... all we find are dead people?
A 100!!! Woohoo!
TOP JEJ. The Emperor has most certainly not abandoned you. <PRAISING OF THE EMPEROR INTENSIFIES>
I can't see anything down there, cover me while I check it out.
>moves to the corridor wall and slowly advances towards the next area.
>signals for the squad to advance.
Clear! Move up before the universe gets any ideas!
All these high rolls. Calling it now, if we keep praising the Emperor/Omnissiah enough and we might find a Russ.
That's up for you to decide, but with a good roll like that probably something neat, which could mean no enemies or a shiny new weapon.
>After sanning the room it suddenly flies down to a hole in a wall where it flies in. And soon a door opens up next to the party, and inside those door hanging on the wall is a trio of grav shutes and a really cool looking autopistol
is this too much to find?
Hm, maybe just a tad, then again maybe Grav Chutes are highly situational so that should balance it out. Opinions everyone?
Given that we're not really in a position to use grav chutes, I don't think it's too OP. Might make for some interesting additions to our chimera, who knows.
Aye, I imagine they'd be useful for you or that Para.
Then again he said something about being afraid of heights?
That we do Fanner.
Hm, you think that Servo Skull could find a way to get the lights back on Gary? We're gonna use up all our flares at this rate.
Nah keep the chutes plus the autogun/pistol, it was a good idea. We've already collected a wide variety of interesting gear so why stop?
Move over Peasant Taurox, we've got an airdroppable Chimera.
Yeah, let's have it find the generator for our cogboy to fix up.
So, this basically. Mkay, is valuable.[spoiler
Aye, it's basically an Anti-Grav unit with jump jets built on to allow the user to manoeuvre and provide a softer landing. Think Clone Jump Troopers but you can -IIRC- only go down, not up.
Yes please, this would be incredibly helpful. Might also give bonuses to 'looking for valuable stuff' checks since we have proper lighting, but that will be decided by vote.
I can try to fix it. I don't know the rites of the Omnissiah, but have some field experience.
But I won't guarantee that it doesn't explode and kills us all.
Alright then, while Skully is searching for the generator, some of us should keep moving forward.
But, we should travel in pairs, it's way too quiet.
*catches a whiff of something*
Muh... mye... mmyesss... heh heh heh heh heh...
*gets visible boner*
So THAT'S why it's empty... don't know how it got here on Cadia or why, but I needed this...
*slings shotgun and draws Catachan Fang*
>whispers "Emperor preserve us" while shouldering his rifle.
>whispers even more.
Keep it down and check your sectors. If that thing catches us, we're fucked.
Worth noting here that Arthur doesn't actually -know- it's there, but if a Catachan says it's there then....well....
>There's a small slime trail coming out of the man's bathroom, the toilet has been forcebly removed from below and now a hole that accesses the sewers lies in its place.
>One of the ventilation openings is also torn open.
Keep your asses to the wall, and your heads on a swivel. Stay the hell away from ledges. Watch the ceiling. Don't just fire wildly if you catch movement. Coordinate and set traps. It'll help a damn lot if we get those lights on
*booby traps sewer opening, and grate*
Hey, where did Gibbers go?
Lictor! Are you the same guy who did the genestealer back on the space hulk, that put out Gary's eye?
What I wouldn't give for an Auspex right now....
Should be evacuate and call for reinforcements? You're the expert here.
I knew this place had a Death Troopers -wonder how few people even know what that is- vibe, but this is actually significantly worse.
I, uh, think I blacked out just a little there. Need to adjust the percentages of my frenzon methinks.
What's going on? Why is everyone so paranoid?
Do you know how hard I am right now?
*bulge in fatigues has grown*
I'm not letting this one by. There ought to be an auspex in the Chimera, I'll cover you to the door, and get me that flamer that Sis gave me, will ya?
Awesome. This should be an even better challenge...
Quiet! There's a Lictor creeping around here, that's why it was so empty. Help us get to the door, and keep an eye on the fucking ceiling! You see the smallest opening, mag dump your lasgun at it!
Guyz....is errybody ded? P-plz come bek
>remains where he is, sweeping his Lasgun over the corridor.
This is fantastic. Stuck in this shithole with a bloody Tyranid, one of those bloody things no less. This is what I get for leaving the damned Chimera....
>It can sense the different scent in the air, a familiar stench, dead tyranid biomorphs. The catachan is full of such a scent, its feeder tendrils catch the scent of danger before even having a visual of it.
>It must strike when the preys are unprepared, then vanish, break their morale, make them flee, spread. It knows that if the preys arm themselves they'll be more dangerous.
>It leaps down behind the chimera using its mantis like claws to attack the opening, keeping the vehicle access shut before jumping out of sight again.
>It only took it 3 seconds
Shit dick and balls. I've seen these nasty sons of bitches in combat before.
Extremely dangerous but you can synthesize some useful stuff from their fluids.
Rolled 53 (1d100)
>looks up to ceiling, looking for gaps
Emperor's grace, at least the kommandos back on Armageddon had the decency not to drop on your head...
Um....i hate to be a cunt right, but yeah nah, the Chimera is outside. In a clearing. So.......yeah.
It has been for the previous 3 threads since Dickless the Clown melted the entire turret in a single firefight.
Yeah that's cool. For your convienence, everyone but Drop Trooper Todd is inside the Depot and thus, fair game. Chimera is outside.
>unclips the straps of his Bergen
Gary, take what you need from that, it's got the rest if my flares and my spare Frag's.
Right, cover me.
>sprints for the door that QM is defending.
I gonna get fucked along with QM I think.
it may not keep them 100% shut, but the bulge certainly made them stop moving, the other side can be seen, but it would take some time to get out, time that a predator can use to attack defenseless humans that give their backs to the darkness when trying to cross to the other side
>The creature moves around the shadows, its caparace switching colors around its environment, sadly some remmants of the sewers' slime still remain over its exoskeleton giving away its position slightly.
(I'd say the DC to see it is 70?)
Unrelated question, but assuming we need a new thread after this one -and we might- will we make a new one or leave it for Monday? I'm all for it personally, but IIRC last time we had three in a row some people were less than enthusiastic.
*puts on bergen*
Right, all of you guard the front door, I'll cover from over there.
*loads explosive shot, goes and pisses on a prominent wall, to show defiance, gets in darkest corner, no route to him except where weapon points*
yeah that works, and gives us a chance to force them
Vince has one, but Emperor only knows where he is.
Rolling to detect our incoming doom. Apart from Gary. He'll probably buttfuck the Lictor. You may say that Lictor's don't have anuses, but HE WILL MAKE ONE
Last time I fought Gary as a simple genestealer I actually gave some challenge and poethically took his eye away. Lictors are far more deadly and powerful, and now that we are using 4chan's rolling system things can be even more fair, I hope this is an entertaining and enjoyable hunt indeed.
Vance you go first with the flamethrower. Then the rest follows back on back ready to shoot everything up that dares to approach us. I will be the last man and support the group with my power sword.
It most certainly will be an entertaining experience(While we screw our spot rolls like damned Whiteshields), that was just my extreme pessimism talking. I wish you good Lictor good luck and obviously I wish the Guardsmen significantly better luck(Which doesn't seem to be happening)
Rolled 1, 15, 17, 15, 7, 19, 19, 2, 1, 11, 5, 23, 1, 23, 22, 18, 13, 6, 24, 8, 25, 19, 15, 12, 11 = 332 (25d25)
Alright, I'm gonna do some reflex to try and spot and react to it faster. It'll make me a little jittery for the rest of the day but that's a price to pay for coming out alive right?
>Quickly switches valves on his inhaler and takes a deep breath, blue-ish gas seeping out of the rebreather.
Rolled 7 (1d100)
BY THE EMPEROR WHY CAN'T ONE OF US SEE IT!
Alright lads listen, if we can make it outside we're safe. That Chimera has an Auspex Array and a long-range Vox set.
All we need to do is get out of here safely.
This is rapidly approaching the level of fuckups where we just declare Broken Arrow and have the Navy bombard the Depot from orbit.
Fuck it boys.
Everyone run. I'm burning it all down.
COME ON YOU SON OF A BITCH, I'VE GOT A FULL TANK OF PROMETHIUM, A CHAIN-BAYONET, AND ENOUGH FRENZON TO KILL A GODDAMN CARNIFEX.
>Breaks valve off of his frenzon inhaler, letting it stream into his rebreather. Begins screaming incoherently while spraying flame everywhere that isn't a door or where his buddies are.
>Screams while firing streams of burning promethium out of his penis metaphor.
EAT SHIT AND DIE YOU SQUID FACED MOTHERFUCKER
>fires off a constant barrage of fire from his Hot-Shot
DEATH COMES FOR YOU, XENOS SCUM!
We only singe it
I hate this dice
What if right.....the Lictor was an illusion created by a Chaos Sorceror? Mind=Blown. Except it's not. It's actually a Lictor. Disguised as a Chaos Sorceror. Disguised as a Lictor illusion.
>continues firing in the direction of the Lictor.
I'm not even sure if we're hitting this thing. Maybe we should bug out.
We've driven it off for now, but it'll be back. Let's get out to the Chimera while we can, and set up floodlights around it. Then I'll come back in...
gimme about 10 minutes here guys, gotta go for my run
Aye, stow your shit and scan your sectors. We're bringing heavier guns next time we investigate this place.
>raises a hand to activate his combead
"Battleaxe Lead, roll get yourself over to the Depot enterance and switch on the floods, we've got company".
>a brief reply is barely audible.
When you're ready Gary.
*grabs Sororitas flamer, extra promethium, stun grenades, and nocturnal vision set, leaves Skelly's bergen*
Alright fellas, set up perimeter, aim the vehicle's guns to the building, and send in Gibbers to me if he comes out from wherever he's hiding. Vox me every five minutes to check in, if I miss one, don't hesitate to burn the whole fucking place down. I'll keep you posted.
*re-enters depot, waiting for Lictor reaction*
>The Chimera is parked outside the Depot with it's floodlight lit and weapons aimed at the entrance.
"You don't really think I'm going to let you die that easily do you mate? You don't check in and I'll come in there and drag you out."
Yes actually, there's a Lictor in the Depot so we're all sitting at the entrance with the Chimera while Gary is hunting the bastard.
You are outside right?
Crap I just realized, the turret we salvaged already had an Autocannon on it, then Best Enginseer added twin-linked Heavy Bolters along with a Missile Launcher. Where are the Bolters mounted? The only space you could fit them would be on the pintle mount unless you stuck them on the side like with the ML.
Rolled 17 (1d20)
Sounds like i should help him.
Was hoping someone had something better to kill them with, wasn't backing down.
>Slinks back into the darkness
>Or stomps, if its low
Of course... Lictors are dangerous and nasty as can be, but you just gotta know how and where to hit em. Don't need no heavy weapons for the job. Give yourself a nice vantage with that shiny new rifle of yours...
I'm not saying don't help him, far from it, but we need reinforcements first, seven of us against a Lictor isn't great odds, even with a Chimera.
Us 3+4 man Crew, I think. Also: Nah fuck it mang, lets go all out and have them on the pintle. If any more conventional people moan us, we can honestly say "a Techpriest did it".
It'll all be worth it when we replace the hull Bolter with a Lascannon and the Lasguns in the passenger compartment with Bolters. Assuming some chucklefuck doesn't break the turret AGAIN.
Well that isn't ominous at all.
I think the Lictor might have bugged out, might as well come back outside and grab some grub, there's still plenty left.
Yep, shits gonna get real on Monday. I'll give it maybe two threads before the turret is broken again if I let an actual PC touch it. With a few exceptions that it.
Damn straight, although Gary, Absentminded Techpriest, Kenneth and Mikhailovich are allowed to use it since you guys actually helped make it work then helped fix it.
Aye, no way untrusted people are touching the guns. I might even have Arthur ask our Enginseer to install a shutter between the crew and passenger compartments just to be on the safe side.
This might be my pessimism talking again but come on, the whole turret. And the turret ring. In one firefight, it shouldn't have been possible.
I think Gary has been in since the start, I joined I think one thread before the Regiment landed on Cadia. I know that most of the competent people(And I would tentatively say that Khat seems pants on legs unretarded) have been in since the start. Although why none of them were made 2IC boggles my mind. Apart from Gary, as he refuses to Officer.
That probably helps. Bringing in a massive animal to cook helped too. Admittedly this is only Arthur's definition of competent though.
I think that Mikhailovich was in the first few threads too, but he had a shorter name. Sgt. Kommando has been in since the start IIRC as well.
To be honest i was gonna play a Sororitas Felinid but i thought i was pushing the snowflake enough. You guys are always welcome to join us in mages guild between threads. /shill
Honestly? Soroitas would probably have been k, Felinids need to be shouted at to PRAISE THE EMPEROR just like baselines and the other abhumans, plus it's not like she was gonna be Elfdar.
Only problem I could potentially see MIGHT be Sister Theresia, but even then I'm not sure because a lot of the time she acts like the 'stereotypical' Sister(Flamers and shouting PRAISE everywhere) and then other times she can be compassionate as fug.
>The Detective, late to the party, walks in, Hellpistol and shock gauntlet at the ready, lho-stick hanging out of mouth. It's all very film noir.
Looks like I missed all the fun. You guys see anything out of the ordinary in here, or just a bunch of chaos clowns? I understand they're all the rage here.
Heh heh heh... what we found was a Lictor. That thing aint something in your purview to deal with. It's gone to ground somewhere inside there, so its pretty safe out here.
But I've dealt with a Lictor or two before, and I ain't leaving nothing to chance...
A cult? No slick, nothing like that. They're Chaos alright, but evidently just got here by the time we rolled in. The Lictor is here on its own. Throne knows why. You're welcome to stick around if you want, just try not to get killed.