An important aspect to any journey is the actual act of traveling.
Let's here your worst stories about flying in a plane, sailing on a boat, riding on a train or bus, or interactions with customs, etc.
>no stories about what happened at your destination allowed. Just what happened on the way to and from there
12 hour flight back from Hong Kong into SFO. SFO Customs and Immigration takes 3 hours to get through. They required us to get scanned twice, bags scanned three times. Get to flight from SFO to EWR just as they are closing the door. Gate agent even says that they usually require 5 to 6 hours of layover in SFO because of Customs and Immigration and understands completely. Get rerouted to DCA because we ultimately needed to end up in Washington, DC. Never flying into SFO from outside the US again.
I've got a few
>leaving Cuba customs is stealing things from people's carry-on bags
>customs gets to my bag and takes a couple things out that "aren't safe to bring on the plane"
>2 hours before plane leaves. ask if i can go check these items then. nope.
>I ask for the custom's agents name. no response. I ask for a receipt for my stuff. no response. I offer to pay a "fee." agent not having it. Takes my stuff and tells me to go wait for my plane.
>have aisle seat
>50 year old guy wants to change seats so he can sit next his wife
>he has a shitty center seat across the aisle
>say sure why not. hoping to get some good karma.
>sit next to 20 year old asian girl and businessman
>as soon as we get into the air asian beings to vomit
>vomits every time plane hits a bump
>traveling by train (moscow to sochi 26 hours on the train)
>riding up escalator at metro station that is connected to train station
>hung over American soldier that is on my language program begins to vomit everywhere
> puke lands on me
>26 hours on a train with someone else's puke on me
>bumped up to business on flight over the atlantic
>in business class seat 20 minutes
>bumped back down to coach
>mfw tv doesn't work, light doesn't work, center seat in center seating
>not the worst flight but a bit of a bummer considering I almost got to fly in luxury
>post hurricane evacuation (power eta is 3 weeks)
>family of 5 with 2 dogs + food/clothes
>26 hours traffic jam
>both dogs pant / general mouth breathing the entire time.
>game boy color is out of batteries.
>12 hour flight
>get on the plane happy with seat I chose
>discover there's a huge box under my seat
>no place for legs or bag, I've never seen anything like this
>call flight attendant, he has no idea either
>call head flight attendant, he says he thinks it's part of the plane
>call security guy, he explains it's standard equipment in every plane of their company, blah blah blah
>ask to change my seat
>they say it's impossible
>"I paid full money for this seat, and I have every intention of getting my money's worth. It doesn't say anywhere on my ticket I get a defected sit"
>argue for a long time, bothering all other passengers
>people start stepping up for me just to end it
Twist good end:
>got bumped to business, got $20 voucher, free bottle of wine, purse and perfume for my wife (I left her by herself), which the security guy personally sold to her (meaning he had to stand there for possibly hours while she was trying to decide).
Some guy who works for the airline, knows the security guy, and was just flying on vacation, agreed to move to the defected seat instead of me, wife said he was pretty nice but ended up with terrible leg cramps.
Sort of best and worst I guess:
>Foot Fetish raging
>12 hour flight
>Woman next to me takes her shoes off
>Starts playing with her feet
>Notices me staring
>Starts footjobing the leg of the seat in front of her and smiling at me
>Have to hide boner for 12 hours from my family while she keeps teasing me
>Travelling through China by car, 6 hour ride
>Driving at ridiculous speed (100+ mph)
>Not giving a shit for traffic laws, often driving at opposite lane most of the time
>Turning at max speed
>Passing every car we fucking see
>At some point passes a car that's passing a car that's passing car by going to the LEFTMOST lane in the opposite lane
>Car nearly colliding headfirst into us, avoid by mere inches
>Starts races with random cars fighting back
>At osome point there are people standing on road - he doesn't give a shit, nearly runs them over as they run to get out of his way and barely make it, they were shouting in chinese after us
>Miss colliding on headfirst into a truck maybe a dozen times
>Every time he says "This car crazy!"
>Never realizing he is the crazy one
>At some point get into some checkpoint, he speaks to the guy in chinese
>tells me I have to pay ~$150 to pass
>I just pay the money, no idea for what, so I don't get killed
>At end of the ride I have to pay a ridiculous "tip"
I think there were a few other terrible things he did that I forced myself to forget about, I didn't think I'd make it out alive.
>Ferry back from Zanzibar
>People start getting seasick
>They start throwing up in the bags.
>Chain reaction of vomiting starts.
>Whole seating area reeks of vomit.
>Simply breathing makes you want to be sick.
>Luckily able to stand outside on deck.
i'll bump with some stuff
My other half is an airline stewardess for virgin, she does first class so naturally she often meets celebrities prince harry, miley cyrus etc.
She also gets proper scumbags though, one time there were two gay guys sucking each other off in the seats. Not even in the toilet in the seats.
Some of the stuff that goes on there you wouldn't believe. There's a frequent flyer who's gay and has a monster dong apparently, so all the stewardesses always get him to get it out, take photos of it, put toilet rolls on it etc
>fly for first time with aeroflot
>hot stewardesses, good food and all
>better than I expected
>have window seat and sit next to a VERY fat russian guy who looks like Gorbatschev and his wife
>u wot m8
>He comes across as unpolite and weird
>during the flight, I stand up because I have to take a huge shit
>gorbatshev stands up without problem eventhough he's fat as fuck
>take a huge shit, takes 20 minutes, smells everywhere
>as I open the toilet door again, the flight stewardess looks at me with a stare of 1000 demons
>As I go back to my seat, I notice that gorbatshev had waited all this time in the corridor because he's so fat he wants to avoid the effort so sit and stand up again
>thank him, spasiba 1000 times to him
>have nice talk with my broken russian
>he tells me about his crazy times in the army
>after landing he claps like a politician
Will fly again Aeroflot, cool company.
I took a ferry up lake Malawi. I (and a couple other foreigners) were under the impression there would be mats and blankets to rent at night, but the company got rid of this in order to get the 'rich foreigners' to get crazy expensive cabin tickets (all the cabins sat empty). Nights shivering on the cold hard deck were pretty shit, although with a tent and bag it would have been a pleasure.
Still one of the most stylish ways I've ever traveled.
One of my best travel experiences:
>cheap coach ticket from Abu Dhabi to iirc Detroit
>brand new jumbo jet is almost totally empty
>every passenger gets their own bank of 3 or 4 seats
>ample pillows and blankets
>can lay flat the entire way
thank you based sultan of abu dhabi or whoever for wasting all that money on a prestige airline
nice story, flying with Aeroflot for the first time this September. Hope I get a nice fat Gorbatschow too
Anyways, I don't have particularly interesting stories:
>fly out from New York
>7-8 hours flight to London
>First hour everything goes well, decide to finish the movie I started on the way there
>all of a sudden turbulence start
>plane shaking, people aren't allowed to stand up, after a while TV goes off as well
>this continues for 5-6 hours
>get no food/drinks
>extremely tired, try to lean back in my seat and sleep
>shit finally starts to settle down over Ireland
almost missed my connecting flight in London because I fell asleep waiting
Also have a foot-fetish transportation story to share.
>Taking ferry from Kagoshima to Yakushima
>Talk with some Japanese friends, find out there's a really cheap over-night ferry
>Decide to get on it
>Port in the middle of nowhere, have to get there by taxi since no public transportation
>in the middle of the port there's one small cabin, that's their office
I should have already figured the whole thing was pretty shady, but this is when the fun starts...
>It's a fucking cargo ship
>They load shitloads of containers
>Yell at the people waiting to get on-board
>Can't really believe it's my ship, ask one of the ship-hands what is going on
>He tells me my room is right ahead
>Climb another ladder
>Reach a carpeted room
>20~ people are just laying out on the floor, there's blankets at the side of the room you can use
>Lay down, go to sleep
>After a while wake up, some girl put her feet right in my face and went to sleep
>I poke her feet to get her to move them
>They move a little and go back
>I spend the entire night poking and tickling her feet, with her giggling and putting them back
>I only got to see her face the next morning, she was actually pretty good looking
>Should have gone for sex, didn't even get her number or name
now this saved me $800, but wont do it again. going to central asia, staying in london afterwards.
was cheaper to buy aus to london return, and a london to stan return.
perth - hong kong. 13 hour lay over
hong kong - london. 7 hour lay over
london - istanbul. 4 hour lay over
istanbul - ashgabat. slept, slept and slept
>sit next to a newlywed couple on their honeymoon with their 3 month old baby
>fucker is always crying
>she starts to breastfeed
>everything is awkward
>can't fall asleep
I was actually hoping someone would hijack the plane.
>>game boy color is out of batteries.
My worst nightmare.
>Take train from Oslo to Trondheim
>My seat is one of those 2x2 seats where you sit directly across someone
>Can't fucking determine the sex of the person across me
>7 hours of trying to figure that shit out
Still drives me insane
>flight from SFO to O'Hare
>start nodding off uncontrollably
>bump the lady next to me a few times
>pretty tall and aisle seat, so no real way to settle in to sleep without moving around
>terrified of being a nuisance to other people so fight the sleep with the passion of a thousand suns
>now get a horrible shiver similar to the one you feel when you're starting to have a real-deal panic attack every single time I wake up
>bump the seat in front while nodding off a few times as well
>like this for two hours until we finally fucking land, but felt like an eternity
>feel the same thing when falling asleep for a few weeks afterwards
There's also this time when I got a pretty suggestive dance from Russian lolis while their dad was watching.
>traveling with friends
>16 hour car ride
>drive in shifts cause we are all exhausted from our trip
>first shift is given to the worst travel companion ever
>told not use his phone cause we will need the GPS in case the highway is closed due to weather
>he uses his phone for pandora
>he falls asleep at the wheel
> we all wake up when we are going 70 mph in the median
>thought we were going to die
>highway closed due to snow
>no clue which back road to take
Hurricane Rita evacuation, 2005, Texas?
My family of 3 evacuated from Houston to Austin. Normally a sub 3 hour car ride, took over 24. Gridlock. Houston eventually opened *all* lanes of the highways (as in, like, 10) in one direction to facilitate the evacuation.
I was happy that school was cancelled for a week. My parents were secretly freaked out that the storm was going to hit us while we were parked in the middle of the highway halfway between Houston and Austin. The storm ultimately did barely any damage, people were just freaked out because Katrina had just destroyed New Orleans.
>Headed back to Thailand from Sihanoukville
>Squeezed into the very back of minibus (like literally in the back, the sat a seat on a big bump in the back)
>Spend 12 hhours slightly bent over and sitting in fucked up position
>I got 2nd degree sun burns the day before, shitty seat causes me to constantly be hit by luggage in the shoulders bursting blisters and make the trip hell
Was not happy, I had a decent seat at first but was made to move for a 5'3" 100lb Asian because he apparently had that seat first. So they have the great idea of putting the biggest person there (6'2" 250lbs) in the smallest fucking seat.
A few airplane stories, I'll try to keep them brief
>internal flight in India, Goa to Delhi
>seated next to some hippie yoga retreat airhead.
>she had spent 2 weeks in Goa doing only yoga, heading back to London
>Goa is Christian and has no attachment to Yoga, but whatever
>very ignorant of anything else about India, including many basics
>all that's whatever, because she's wearing a large loose-fitting dashiki (african, but whatever) with a slit down the front, no bra.
>tits and nipples fully visible through the slit, especially so when she leans forward
they were nice tits too.
>in Nampula, Mozambique
>want to get train ticket to get closer to Malawi (no alternative to this train)
>wait in line for hours with hundreds of locals
>suddenly everyone rushes the ticket gate (I think they figured it was close to selling out)
>guards descend on the crowd with batons start beating people
>FUCK THIS, go somewhere else for a week
>come back get in line at 4am
>still not that close to the front (I think people wait days just to buy and scalp tickets)
>2pm still haven't got a ticket, FUCK THIS
>buy a 3rd class ticket from a scalper for 2x the price (but still dirt cheap, wanted a 1st class ticket)
>3rd class wasn't that bad because I showed up at like 2am the next day to get in line to sprint to claim a bench
...actually almost all my travel in Mozambique was horrific:
>want to get from Vilanculos to Beira
>insurgency breaks out in between out of nowhere, people getting shots, specific threats against foreigners, nobody going through
>army goes in and settles things
>get a bus, incredibly uncomfortable (par for Mozambique) but otherwise fine
>army everywhere, burned-out bullet-holed trucks at the side of the road
>could have been much worse had I gone through a bit before
>want to get from Beira to Nampula now
>bus fine all the way up to Mocuba (apart from normal uncomfortableness)
>suddenly everyone on the bus starts freaking out
>passengers screaming at the driver and conductors
>turns out they want to kick everyone out of the bus here in the middle of the night for reasons unexplained
>passengers calling the police demanding they drive to the police station
>everyone screaming at the police in Portuguese
>driver obviously pays off police they do nothing
>passengers refuse to get off the bus
>the driver and conductors abandon the bus, we sleep on it outside the police station
>from what I can gather the driver wanted to sleep with his girlfriend in town (we had plenty of time to go to the destination we paid for)
>driver and crew come back next day expecting we'd have given up and fucked off
>more screaming back and forth
>they agree to pay for our minibus the rest of the way
>the big 1970s Yugoslav chicken bus is bad enough, but a minibus over these roads packed absolutely to the gills is torture
>takes another whole day of multiple horrific minibusses to get there
>legs intersected, bent over, people on my lap over terrible roads
>be me on short domestic flight
>sit across aisle from asian woman
>notice she slipped out of her shoes and sat indian style with bare feet exposed
>she had qt soles
>wish I could have 'accidentally' touched and tickled them while stretching my arms without seeming weird
>flying to korea
>had to stop and switch planes in tokyo first
>tons of fat people, old people, old baby boomers, black male sex tourists or military
>a few japanese
>weirdest travelers ever going to japan I thought
>one really obese old guy kept asking the FA for assistance, woman kept having to help him
>motherfucker would drop his food on the ground and not even know it
>dropped a cup of ice cream or pudding on the ground
>I bolt for the exit like a shameless chinaman as soon as the seatbelt light turns off
>hear some dumb baby boomer cunt make a comment about me
Not my worst flight, but I couldn't wait to get out of there
It was a long and expensive trip, and I made the mistake of letting a travelling company make my plans. One long ass train rides, 4 inside-flights, lots of travelling in cars that the company hired with strangers.
That ride was fairly cheap though, because I shared it with 3 other people who used the same travelling company.
>up before dawn to make the early flight
>going home via Düsseldorf
>arrive hours 3 early early, check in my luggage
>go to gate, sit on seats nearby and wait, it's still like 2 hours until departure
>gate shared with a flight to Munich
>Tegel is small, but so designed that security screening is done right before entering the departure lounge
>time passes, a sign above the desk (where a rep is sitting) says my flight # to D-dorf, but it's always on 'check in'.
>Hah, good thing I already checked in!
>more time passes, getting close to time of departure
>see people hurrying in, but after all there's a Munich flight at the same gate
>Look at my watch, it's like 15 mins to departure
>Rep at departure desk leaves.
>sign changes to 'take off'.
>WTF, weird... Get up, look for Lufthansa bookings desk
>Tell clerk there I've been waiting forever, my flight still says 'check-in', but really should leave now-ish
>Huh?! Flight XYZ-123? But uh, it iz already uh, in air.
>U WUT? B-but [I tell my story over]
>get a tap on the shoulder
>excuse me, are you Mr.Anon?
>YES OK COME QUICK
>guy explains they couldn't find my luggage fast enough to get it off - if I hurry they'll let me on before searching through the entire hold
>rushed security check, I'm pointed down some stairs
>at the bottom, it's a guy with one of those stair-trucks
>In thick German accent says: 'Mein Gott, You are very lucky, you should pray, zey never ever do zis!'
>drives me to plane, the bridge had already been retracted, engines starting up
>stair-truck pulls up, he tells me to run up
>they open the door and give me 'that look', point me to me seat and say quickly.
>Walk of Shame past the entire plane as my seat is at the back
Was a bit dumb on my part, but I was a relative travel newb at the time and had only flown a few times before so I was confused. And I swear on my life that damn sign never changed, they made no announcement for my name or anything.
This was in 2008.
FWIW, it was Istanbul to Moscow, so I guess they assumed it's mostly Russians returning from resorts, and they wouldn't need to impress any Westerners. It wasn't a horror story or anything, it was just very crappy and totally unimpressive.
>The storm ultimately did barely any damage, people were just freaked out because Katrina had just destroyed New Orleans.
The water destroyed New Orleans. Keep that in mind next time it isn't a Cat 4 or higher. Stay for a 3. But, remember that if you don't own a gun, it's lawlessness afterwards, and that's the real danger. Neighbors and looters who know they can rape and pillage and police can't even drive on the roads to catch them.
Where abouts were you sitting? on a bulkhead seat?
>discover there's a huge box under my seat
Most scenarios its the AVU which really isnt that big.
>agreed to move to the defected seat instead of me
Its not defective if its part of the aircraft m8y
>Need to fly from New Orleans to New York to London for first European vacation
>Get to airport everything goes well
>Get bags checked and go through security no problem
>Wait for plane to New York
>Flight gets delayed
>Flight gets delayed again
>Flight delayed for a third time, worried I might not make my second flight
>Flight is cancelled
>All my baggage is on the plane except my carry on
>Ask the help desk
>They told me they got the luggage off
>Go check baggage area
>It's not there
>Ask help desk
>They told me that my baggage is going to LGA
>Reschedule flight, have to fly through JFK than to Heathrow, London
>Ask if they can bring my bags to JFK from LGA
>Shitty New Orleans service
>Lady is completely rude and won't help me
>Ended up staying in airport for 8 hours
>Have to get a hotel
>Wake up next morning, go to airport
>Get another lady who actually helped me
>Told me my bags will get to my place in the UK
>Gave me some shit like toothbrush etc.
>Finally get on plane to New York
>Get through rest of the flight without a problem
>Make it to London with just a carry on
>Get my bags next morning
Not the worse, but it was definitely inconvenient fixing that I as going to travel across Europe for a month.
>It's not 1989, grandpa. Aeroflot is pretty great nowadays. I prefer them over Air France for example.
Well, you're dumb then. They allow the flight crew to drink. Their maintenance is crap. Don't be so sure any newish looking plane means the airline is great, or is manned by highly trained pilots going to Airbus training. They pay their pilots poorly, but need pilots so badly, they offer financial aid (loans) to them and will pay off existing contracts with other airlines. They require 6 months experience and train inhouse. Nice.
>highly trained pilots going to Airbus training
Not alot of airlines have this, the majority have in house training for flight and cabin crew.
>Their maintenance is crap
They have to adhere to the same maintenance legislation as every other european airline laid out by EASA and the CAA, and the FAA if they fly to America and they are subject to exactly the same spot checks from the governing bodies as everyone else - you're obviously quite naive about aircraft maintenance procedures
Infact Aeroflot is the most punctuial airline in europe at the moment, and you dont get that by having a shit airline. Granted they sued to be awful - infact they were blacklisted from the majority of european airports but have since turned the corner with their business.
>Flying from my city to New York to catch a connection
>Get seated next to scraggly, unkempt blind woman looking to be in her early to mid fifties.
>Lady is very friendly and conversational, although a bit off
>After ten minutes or so we cease to talk, and settle into our seats
>Blind woman begins jerking around, pulling her arms away from my direction emphatically
>She begins looking into my direction and telling me to stop shoving and prodding her
>I apologize profusely (I am only fourteen at the time, and fairly unprepared for any sort of awkward transaction travelling, let alone this shit)
>She continues this pattern for thirty minutes or so, jerking away sporadically and accusing me
>Finally she presses the assistance button
>A flight attendant comes and the blind lady begins to angrily complain about me violently harassing her
>Meanwhile the flight attendant is shooting me "I'm so sorry look"
>A young blonde woman and who I assume to be her husband, who had apparently been watching this fiasco the entire time, both silently motion to the flight attendant that the blind lady is quite clearly out of her mind
>Blind lady demands to change seats
>Flight attendant informs her it is a full flight
>After arguing for another ten minutes or so she finally grumpily settles into her seats, leaning into the aisle as far away from my person as possible
I nearly missed a plane in Myanmar because of that. In some third world shithole airports you have to watch the gates like a hawk. There are no announcements or monitors. Try figuring out which locals are going on the same flight as you and then go with them.
they were stealing art, skateboards, and other stuff out of passengers bags
when leaving cuba check everything and lock you bag
a good number of people on the plane lost their personal items
Pic related is standard fare in Malawi and not that bad actually (minibus is actually upmarket there). You wouldn't believe how many people they'll cram in a tiny pickup bed: everyone standing up leaning on the person in front for support. And not uncommonly we'd have to push start the truck since lots have busted starters.
I've been on "chicken busses" in other parts of the world but they're not in the same universe of hurt as what passes in the poorer parts of Africa.
>Flying Toronto to London
>Man sits next to me.
>Not even off ground, starts talking to me.
>Nice enough, but I prefer to try and sleep on night flight.
>He starts asking me all types of things.
>Trying to impress me with details of his life, "he is doing PhD at LSE."
>Me not caring about this mouth breathing dandruff flecked nerd.
>Starts telling me how attractive I am.
>Afraid to sleep now.
>Tell him I have a bf.
>He get passive aggressive and tries to "neg" me.
>Put headphones on for rest of flight.
>Tells me I'm a rude cold woman when we land.
>I hate britbongs.
There seem to be many foot fetishists here. I used to "accidentally" tickle feet in transportation all the time, only in recent years I realized how retarded and sexual assault-ish I was.
So yeah, don't do it, just ask for her number.
I sat next to a british man that derided me for being american for 30 minutes
told me how dumb americans were
how fat americans were, etc.
mfw he then started to tell me about a movie called "zeigesit" and started tell me 9/11 was an inside job and started spouting a bunch of conspiracies
i enjoy the brits, i enjoy england, but man this man was beyond annoying
You're a rude cold woman
Your story kinda reminds me of my last trip. Guy sits next to me and tells me his life story how his ex wife took all his shit. I tried to sleep but he kept talking until I eventually did fall asleep. I woke up like 30 minutes later and he right away asked me how my sleeping was. :/
>mfw he then started to tell me about a movie called "zeigesit" and started tell me 9/11 was an inside job and started spouting a bunch of conspiracies
LOL should have alerted suspicions to the cabin crew.
Cathay Pacific - LAX to Hong Kong
Indian or Paki woman in her 30s beside me. She stank, like really stank as if she had never bathed.
Half way across the pacific she hoists up her sari, pulls down some filthy underwear and changes out her kotex pad. Right there in front of everybody leaving the old pad in the seat pocket.
>Be on a packed chinese minibus bombing down the highway
>This thing has probably been running since before reform and opening up
>Something in the engine compartment catches on fire
>The thickest blackest smoke starts pouring into the cabin, driver slams on the brakes
>Trying to get off a chinese bus at the best of times is tricky, this is total fucking panic
>Smoke fills lungs, become dizzy
>So, this is how it ends
>No! Push aside granny. Jump out window, flop onto my back on the street, avoid getting hit on road somehow
>After a long time breathing in the lovely lovely pollution I walk a half mile down the road to the next bus stop
>Same bus pulls up 10 minutes later, offers me a ride
>Driver is like , don't worry, I'm not going to charge you again
> Walk away. All the chinese passengers shake their head at me in disbelief. Laowai, don't they know anything?
>about 12 years ago
>flying to DRC
>volunteering with some Christian charity organization I don't even fucking remember
>absolutely fucking brutal plane ride, delays, smelly people, stuck next to some weird holistic healer girl named Geneva and some South African guy I've never seen before
>Geneva won't shut the fuck up, but eventually quiets down and falls asleep, thank Christ
>Get talking to Mr. Afrikaner
>Ask where in South Africa he is from
>Gets a funny look on his face and says he's not from there
>Dude is actually Rhodesian
>Holy fuck right on
>Regails me with stories about how he served with the Rhodesian military
>Talks about bush war and killing ZANLA and ZIRPA insurgents
>He has cold eyes, obviously doesn't afraid of anything and doesn't mind letting me know he once hacked the arm off of a terrorist he and a few buddies found hiding after a firefight
>slowly begin to realize that I'm sitting next to a man who fucking shot and killed his way out of what is now Zimbabwe
>plane lands and we part ways
>end up getting malaria later on and the missionaries looking after told me that I kept mumbling about how I missed Rhodesia
I did it pretty extensively and still want to go back more than anywhere else in Africa. So friendly. So easy to get around. So much in a smallish country. No visa hassle. Very minimal police hassle (by African standards). DIRT CHEAP like nowhere else.
Taking a flight from New Zealand to LA. Take my mums advice on asking for an emergency aisle seat, 6'6 (2m) tall here. Sitting next to stairwell to upper floor (747). Me and cool american dude sitting in these three seats. Get chatting with him. He asks if his mate can sit there. We order complementary beers and talk for ages. Eventually fall asleep, (everyone sort of drifts off to sleep at his stage). Next this in the middle of the night am woken up by a male flight attendant doing a forward roll down the stairs. These are reasonably steep stairs. holyshit,jpg . Other flight attendants help him up and away. Guys just go back to sleep. lol. I just go back to sleep.
Similar thing happened to me.
>Be on the way to take the bar exam in California
>only given twice a year, so missing it is a big deal
>Flight changes planes in SLC
>at SLC airport
>get sent to gate
>sit in seat next to gate, watching and waiting
>half asleep due to last few weeks of studying 24x7
>start thinking, gee, it's kinda late, shouldn't they already be boarding or something?
>20 minutes until flight is supposed to depart
>gate sign still says it's the gate for a flight to Sacramento
>go to counter
>ask WTF is going on
>they changed the gate without telling me
>the "flight to Sacramento" on the gate sign is a different, later, and completely full flight
>I luck out
>the plane I was supposed to get on is half an hour late due to weather delays
>still hasn't arrived at the new gate
>I wait, get on, get to hotel an hour after I should have
Really pissed me off. I didn't need the stress. Also, if I'd missed that flight, I wouldn't have been able to get on another one until the next day, and would have had to wait another seven months to retake the exam.
>infact they were blacklisted from the majority of european airports but have since turned the corner with their business.
Only for the few flights that go to highly regulated U.S. or EU airports. If you're flying around in eastern Europe, or to Turkey (see anon's post above), or god help you around the Former Soviet Union, you should be sure your life insurance policy payments are current.
>Went to Jeddah once
>about half an hour after take off my stomach hurts
>went to the loo
>shitted for about a minute
>suddenly, the plane was shaking up down
>I panicked and the announcement cmae on to tell everyone to return to their seats
>The door got knocked about three times
>wash my ass quickly
>went out of the loo
>plane still shaking
>ran back to my seat
>20 minutes after plane stop shaking
>Return to loo to continue my shitting
It was a horrible experience
Fucking Frankfurt airport, I hate that place.
>Flying home after a few months backpacking.
>route originated in Munich, it was cheaper to fly home from Frankfurt
>plane lands on time
>same flight network, my bags are transferred for me, great
>Have one hour to make next flight, but gate is on the absolute other end of the airport
>Putz around a duty-free shop for 10-15 minutes, then tell myself 'Alrighy, let's get going.'
>leave secure zone without realizing it
>first go through customs/immigration desk
>nothing to declare, but it's the only way forward
>slow-ass lines, after ~15 minutes I'm about 3 people away from getting to the officer.
>MEIN SHIFT IST DONE NIGGAS, AUF WIEDERSEHEN
>are you fucking kidding me?
>a loud collective moan of annoyance
>Many of us still standing in that line, when the officer at the next desk gives us this annoyed wave at the other lines, like we're dumb for not moving.
>we're forced to RE-LINE UP at the back of the other lines
>now time to go through security scans all over again
>HUGE fucking line-ups, slow as hell, because it's tourist high-season everywhere, everyone disrobing and emptying pockets, you know how it goes. 10 Minutes
>it's like 10 minutes to departure, I'm freaking a bit
>finally my turn through.
>my person is fine, but my bag is pushed to the side
>have to wait for the 2 people before me who also have a problem.
>ask if I have camera inside, can they see it please
>yes, fine, let's hurry up
>take it out, look at it, guy tells me to follow him while other guard watches my open carry-on
>we walk across the hall to a little office. They take a photo of it and look for serial numbers, write 'em down and say 'OK, thanks bye, you're good'
>the fuck was that about?
>back to my carry-on, repack camera
>RUN to my departure gate
>guy also running in front of me drops his passport and a credit card from his pocket, shout at him but he doesn't look back
>YET ANOTHER checkpoint with a short line-up, have to show tickets to a fat dude scanning bar-codes
>pass the passport and credit card to this guard, tell him some guy dropped them. He radios some other guard, I have to wait till they're done talking...
>FINALLY on way to departure lounge
>sweating balls and exhausted, hadn't really kept track of time because my watch was off in my bag (so I could get through scanning faster)
>assume it's not as late is it really is
>just before departure lounge, need to empty my exploding bladder (hot day + water + running + excitement), and wash my sweaty face real quick
>see 3 clerks closing the departure desk
>go up, ask them what's going on, I'm here for the flight to XYZ
>one girl (American) says 'NO WAY, UNBELIEVABLE"
>Are you Mr.Anon?
>WE PAGED YOU THREE TIMES, THE FLIGHT IS GONE!
>mfw I never heard anything, prob 'cause I was still in line somewhere
>Explain what happened, I only arrived an hour ago, opposite end of airport, accidentally left the secure zone, all the line-ups, the delay with my camera
>two walk away without giving a single fuck
>one tells me I had better talk to the Lufthansa desk
>feeling totally dejected, annoyed, tired, just completely beaten.
>Tell my story over again, Lufthansa agent tells me 'yea well, the thing is, 1 hour should be enough, so it's basically your fault..."
>need him on my side for cheapest re-routing options, try to be polite while raging inside
>tells me I can get the same flight tomorrow, there are 3 seats left, only paying the difference of 300€
>no other choice, do it.
Then I had to spend a night in a hostel in Frankfurt's shitty downtown, sweating my nuts off.
I wish I was making this up. Sorry for the novel, but still annoys me to remember it. Fuck Frankfurt airport.
I picked it up and called after him, but he didn't look back, he was in a hurry (too). I left it at the ticket-checker checkpoint. I did see he come back after, and actually he shouted back at some other guy. I think he missed a flight too, maybe even the same one.
>Not alot of airlines have this, the majority have in house training for flight and cabin crew.
Absolutely not, when they fly actual airbuses, that is false. They usually train with Airbus directly, or send them to the Pan Am flight academy. To do airbus training inhouse is clearly not the standard.
>they are subject to exactly the same spot checks from the governing bodies as everyone else
Europe doesn't have the same spot checks as the US, and for that matter, within Russia there are none. Piloting is a career fraught with alcoholism, and Russia is a nation more plagued with the problem than almost every other country. It's up to the airline to police it's own pilots. Furthermore, pilot safety is the point of the original thread, and my point was that their ratings standards and minimums are very lax, which is a problem with a lot of state owned airlines that utilize nepotism.
Thailand is literally 20-30 times richer than Malawi (which is the poorest country in the world)
Me [M 42] last week
>RJ flight out of SLC
>back row aisle seat
>teenage girl beside me at window
>I try to sleep
>girl slouches back in seat with legs up on seat in front of me while reading magazine
>I look over and realize she is masturbating
>Pillow in lap she has a hand slid up into her running shorts
>she stops when I look in her direction
creep mode engaged
>I open my laptop but don't turn it on
>I position screen so it reflects down and I can watch what she is doing while facing slightly away
>she resumes pleasuring herself at one point getting two fingers deep inside
>she cums, sits there for a moment then asks me to move so she can go to the bathroom
>when she gets back to her seat she takes the magazine she was reading and tears out several pages and stuffs them into the seat pocket in front of her
>when we got off the airplane I let her out first and grabbed the pages; they were detailed instructions on how to give a blowjob and "tips on losing your virginity" from some teen magazine.
>They usually train with Airbus directly
My Airline and a loads of others train their own crew, I imagine boeing and airbus have their input on the training schemes though.
>Europe doesn't have the same spot checks as the US
If you want to hold your airworthiness license and want to fly to america you need to adhere to FAA ruling, the FAA, CAA or EASA or the american version can show up whenever they fuck they want. Each of these governing bodies can pull your airworthiness rating at the drop of a hat, they can turn up; inspect Logs, archives, maintenance practices, training, your personal records book, your computer records - you have to give them everything they ask for.
And this does happen in Russia, if it was just a russian national airline that flies only to and from russian destinations i understand what your saying as they can ignore whatever the global or european rules are. But they fly all over the place so they come under the same restrictions as anyone else, and I would presume given Russia's safety culture its a priority for EASA
Don't make people google basic airport codes. This is a travel forum. If you are missing personal literacy of what an airport code is? Either learn from personal use, ie actual travel, or look them up as new ones are presented to you.
>deep in DRC
>Heart of Darkness all around
>hiking through jungle to visit very small villages and do some vaccinations and shit like that, build some huts, spread the word of some diety, etc
>malaria the second day, fucking great
>villagers in closest village give me a bottle of pills
>say it should help
>missionaries I'm with are still struggling to find medicine for me, ripping through packs and cases and shit
>nowhere to be found
>in the middle of the jungle, with man eating animals, dystentry, Ebola, giant insects, civil war, guerrilla soldiers
>taking some old pills couldn't possibly be the worst thing
>spend the next week or so, I have no idea actually, tripping out on ancient malaria medicine in the jungle
>think Pink Floyd mixed with Jospeh Conrad
>see wild shit
>hallucinate, vomit, repeat
>preach about Cecil Rhodes
>end up stealing one of our bodyguard's rifles
>apparently found emptying magazine into ground and trying to dig my way out
>strapped down from this point on to some African thatch cot in a hut
I miss my Congo days
You left your wife by herself sitting next to some random asshole, while you were living it up in business class?
That's fucking awesome.
>At Beijing airport
>Check in all goes smoothly
>Try to get to gates
>Only access is one of two people movers
>First is out of order
>Second is supposed to come every few minutes
>After ten minutes it still hasn't come, people getting anxious
>After 15 minutes the whole waiting area is full. >line extends up the escalators (with people walking on the spot because they have nowhere to go), way out into the check in hall.
>Finally people mover arrives
>As it pulls onto the platform and the doors open, there is a split second of calm before an almighty rush of people trying to cram into the tiny carriage.
>This continues when it arrives at the other end, people sprinting to get through passport control.
>I end up running all the way to the gate, only just make it to the gate before they close it.
>Board plane, spend the next two hours sitting on the tarmac before takeoff.
I don't have any particular 'story' to greentext here, it's just one of my most memorable 'actual' journeys.
I was in Amritsar, Punjab going to Dharamsala, in the foothills of the Himalayas. I had to leave the hotel at like 4 am, which involved flagging down a bike-rickshaw to get me to the bus station, then buying the ticket (if you've been, you know how informal everything can seem). Bus arrives, don't want to be crammed into the back for the several hour-ride, so I linger back to get on the front somewhere. (I later learned the front seats are for old people and women, but it's not like anyone's going to tell a ferengi off).
It's full of bags and shit, everyone with their luggage and cargo, every inch of floor space taken. I end up sitting on a sack of some old man's rice that's on top of the bus's gearbox. Perfect front-seat view (does require moving when people get off, but whatevs). It's an old bus, squeaky brakes, no seatbelts or anything. We careen down the highways at top speed, often driving in the lane for traffic going in the opposite direction, with that traffic blaring horns and moving over to let us through, sometimes getting 'stuck' on the wrong side of lane dividers. No fucks given. Shoulders are always busy, with locals walking or herding goats. Overloaded cars and motorbikes (whole family and five big sacks on one 150cc motorbike, no problem!), the whole shebang. Buses clearly have priority due to size, people get out of the way or get run over. At one chokepoint, our bus must have had a close-call swipe or something against someone, as when were forced to stop for traffic, 20 or men and women chased after us, caught up and started slapping the windows angrily and yelled, trying to rip the front doors open (shite!). The driver and his 'helper' yell back, and we floor it as soon as we can.
The scenery was just beautiful though. You go from lush green fertile fields of Punjab, up to the mountains, getting only more green as you go.
Oh yea, that was just half the fun. At Dharamsala, I switched to get to McLeodganj, which was basically more vertical journey than horizontal. Miles and miles of stomach-turning switchbacks on narrow roads with hairpin turns. The sort where the driver literally stops and inches forward at a snails pace to make some turns, and when you look out the window, you just see long-assed rocky slopes. Warning signs every 50 metres, signs saying it's forbidden for large vehicles to drive the (totally unlit) road at night.
10/10, would take that bus trip again just for the experience.
>on trip back from Amsterdam
>plane left at like 7am
>been out the night before very hungover
>decide to get McDonald's breakfast
>get a coffee as well
>totally forgot that hot coffee gives me the shits
>feel a storm brewing as I sit down in the seat, by the back of the plane (chose it so I was close to the toilet)
>almost in tears holding this monster in as we ascend
>finally get the call to get out of our seats
>the combination of alcohol and coffee means that the shit was more liquid than liquid itself, I had formed a new state inside my gut
>destroy the toilet
>smell is almost unbearable
>people looking at me as I return to my seat
>don't care, at least I didn't shit my pants
the flight was only about 1hr 30 but the wait for the toilet was agonising
Ugh. I have a similar experience.
>Flying Sao Paulo to Orlando, Florida
>Nasty coach-tier TAM airlines dinner isn't sitting well 2 hours before landing.
>Plus the coffee and booze I had the night I left Brazil.
>It's bad, my ass feels like it's about to blow up.
>About to shit pants and run to the bathroom in the back of the plane.
>Pray to God and Allah that the bathroom on the other aisle is empty.
>Go in, before my pants are fully down shit is blowing out of my ass.
>Worst smell in the world.
>Flush, but because it's one of those vacuum toilets it just sucks a whole out of the pile of shit.
>Leaving a shit-donut looking thing.
>Flush again, still there.
>Leave bathroom with a bunch of BRBRBRBRBR looking at me.
I have a whole bunch of flight stories, but a good one is flying within Bolivia and some guy brought a chicken in a box and put it in the overhead compartment.
>go to China in a business trip
>take a plane from Milan, all goes well
>land in Russia to change flight because lel cheaper
>airport is in the middle of nowhere, very small, very few people around
>board old as fuck plane, looked like something straight out of the Cold War era
>there are three other passengers, all Chinese, nobody talks to each other
>plane bumps all the time
>outside it starts raining
>before long, rain enters the fucking plane and drips onto me
>pray to each and every deity ever worshipped by man that the plane doesn't fall apart in mid-air or something
>land in China and I'm still alive
I've never been so frightened on a plane
Might as well.
>on train in Yurop (I think it was between Köln and Frankfurt but I don't remember)
>it's the kind of train where you're in a cabin with 5-6 other people on seats facing each other
>other people are some Russian family
>they're nice, but their two daughters are pests
>run around, screaming for half the ride
>parents don't do anything
>listen to my mp3 at full volume mainly because I'm awkward as fuck
>the little shits start dancing right in front of me
>with ass-shaking and everything
>they were using the train cabin railing as poles
>be uncomfortable as fuck (I know this is 4chan, but I'm not into that kind of stuff, like not at all)
>look away from them
>the dad is just leling his ass off
>they eventually get bored of me and sit the fuck down
>some guy brought a chicken in a box and put it in the overhead compartment.
Well, of course. Doesn't everyone?
If the plane has a major malfunction, you can open an exit door, grab the chicken, jump out, and hold onto the chicken's feet, hen gliding to safety.
I'm a pretty novice traveller and haven't had anything catastrophic happen to me during a trip, but I had a shitty plane experience coming back from London last week.
Going there from Vancouver, I popped zopiclone and was able to sleep straight through the 9 hour flight, waking up at 7:00 GMT, and basically beating jet lag. Coming back, I tried the same thing but I just couldn't fall asleep, and had to sit there stuck in kind of dizzy, drunken limbo for 9 hours. My head was spinning and I kept dropping shit, and the FA kept having to help me. The plane trip took forever (I didn't bring much in the way of distractions assuming I'd be asleep and the console in front of my seat was broken).I felt really out of it and shitty for the next 24 hours.
Not much of a travel disaster (the rest of the trip went extremely smooth), but probably my worst plane experience.
...was also funny (if slightly galling) to watch how people would try and butt ahead in line. If they got away with it nobody said anything. But if one of the guards saw them they'd get beat with sticks and forced way to the back (which was hopeless). As in pretty much all of the world outside of the West you got the impression everything was allowed until you got caught.
...when I was trying to figure my way through where the insurgency was happening I ran into two (iirc German) guys who had come through in the other direction (north to south). When the shit went down the army forcibly pulled them off some bus and interred them in some middle-of-nowhere village for the own safety. After a week of that they got sick of it and managed a ride to the north side of the Zambezi. The bridge had recently been completed but nobody was driving over because they were shooting at cars (I guess some minibus has been shot to pieces by the army for not stopping for whatever reason), so they decided to walk it, which if you've ever seen the lower Zambezi is wide as fuck, like I'm pretty sure +5km with their packs under the tropical sun across an at-the-time no-mans-land. When they made it to the other side everyone told them they were nuts / lucky to be alive but they were basically home-free at that point and continued on.
For future reference I will try to travel Africa wherever I can in a commercial freight truck (as a paid hitch-hiker) since it's much more comfortable and you get waived-through at checkpoints mostly.
I saw you post this story before (along with a few others)
>want to get from Vilanculos to Beira
I'm sorry but that's retarded. Why on earth would you go anywhere north of Nampula?
I stayed in the south for a while and never had any real problems.. but my friends in the north? A whole other story.
Trucks can be targeted for robbery.. my friend's dad was a commercial truck driver in Moz and he carried a 9mm handgun with him everywhere.
Also both times I drive on the highway between Maputo and Inhambane I saw 4+ trucks rolled over on the highway.
Other somewhat sketch 3rd world travel:
- One time I was on a chicken bus from near to the Guatemala border to Belize City. Bus keeps breaking down but they keep getting a going again. Finally a bit outside Belize City it dies but I decide to walk since I'd been to the city a few times before (as shitty as it is). Got lost so decided to just get drunk in some slum bar. Got too drunk to move to I ended up sleeping the night on the street I was so bombed. Belize City can actually be pretty fun despite its reputation.
- Taking an overnight bus from Zimbabwe to South Africa. At the border the guards press me pretty hard for bribes, saying they think I have drugs (I guess white people coming from Zim normally have drugs?) but I didn't so told them to fuck off search my shit fuck you. Went over the bridge then the bus stops and ~10 people run out of the woods and jump into the bus. When we come into town we do this slow-motion beginning-of-Drive style evasion of the police until we get far enough along to let them out (pretty sure these people had just swam the crocodile-choked river that is the border there). Don't know what the police could have made with one white foreigner in a bus full of illegals.
Yeah south of Vilanculos is basically South Africa. No problems at all. But you really need to get to the North before it's truly tropical. The coast up there is really gorgeous, as are the hills inland. Next year I want to do a trip along the coast from Dar El Salam down to Pemba (maybe in legs by dhow). Haven't done much research but I think it's almost totally avoided by tourists.
All right, I might have an interesting, albeit long story.
>Two Swiss buddies of mine and I decide to go on an interrail trip from Switzerland to Turkey and back
>Beginning of the trip is great, especially in Turkey
>problems start after we are in Greece
>want to travel from Athens to Thessaloniki by train
>Get on the train in the morning, everything is fine
> only Greek speaking conducter checks out our interrail tickets
>he tries to tell us that we aren't allowed on this train with this kind of ticket
>wtf, we had checked in Athens if our time tickets would be valid on this train
>conducter doesn't understand or doesn't want to understand
>either we pay like 50 euros or we need to get off the train on the next station, and wait for another train that we're allowed on with our tickets
>I'm like whatever, just about to get my wallet out, when one of the Swiss friends tells the conductor that he isn't going to pay, because we already have a valid ticket
>he's a stubborn idiot, we have to leave the train in the next station
>tiny station is in a tiny village in the middle of Greek no man's land
>check out when the next train is coming... We have to wait 18 hours
>there are literally like only 10 buildings in the village
>can spot a highway on the horizon, must be several hours of marching away
>40+ degrees outside, we sit inside the station
>there is one guy working at the train station
>station telephone is ringing constantly for more than three hours, but he doesn't pick up for a reason
>waiting in a state of delirium
>suddenly a fat old guy comes in
>starts talking non-stop
>apparently he's from Albania
>has an old Nokia phone and shows me his whole gallery of shitty low-res images from his village in Albania
>he only knows one English world "Alpina" and he uses it again and again to describe the village
>starts writing down some long story on a piece of paper
>can't read his handwriting
>Suddenly I smell the worst smell in all of my life
>wtf is going on?
>realize the Albanian guy has taken his shoes off
>the whole station smells like corpses that were in the summer sun for days on end
>I gtfo of the station, say that I want to walk around the village
>all the building are in decay, look like remnants of the last World War
>suddenly I discover a modern and clean looking building with air conditioning and even better, it is a fast food restaurant
>am I dreaming.jpg
>just about to enter
>hear screaming from inside
>look through the window
>a guy is threatening and screaming at a cook
>other shady looking guys are standing around the cook
>obviously he must have fuck something up pretty badly, and his boss is now mad
>gtfo and go back to the station
>couple of hours pass
>only place to eat is the restaurant from before
>hunger forces us to go there
>order the most basic thing, like a Greek kebab
>takes 45 minutes to cook
>there are no other customers
>guys at the restaurant have obviously no idea what they're doing
>they have to bring the ingredients to the restaurant first
>realize that this place must be a front of the Mafia
>we eat as fast as possible and leave immediately
>back at the station, there is a mentally handicapped person with a cord as a belt
>he also has a handbag full of coffee beans
>place still smells from our Albanian guy
>just as I leave the station for fresh air, an old woman comes in with a cane
>one minute later I hear a huge ruckus at the station
>grandma is in a fight with coffee guy for some reason
>she busts out fighting moves with her cane that would give Jackie Chan a run for his money
>not kidding, at the age of 70 or so, she could be a new Street Fighter character
>calm her down, treat the wounds of coffee guy
>train finally arrives
All of this because one guy didn't want to pay like 50 of 60 Euros. Goddamn.
>with buddies in Hangzhou
>meet local chick with car
>she offers to let us ride back to shanghai if we put in for petrol
>i go with her, friends take train
>she lets me drive (don't even have international permit)
>fanging down the freeway at 150kph
>honk my horn at every car i pass because its the chinese way
>she gives me a HJ while i drive
First ever flight out of my country (Japan)
>decide to go business class
>geton, next to cranky American wallstreet journal reader on a connecting flight to the US, who didn't want to move for shit (literally mine), acted asleep when I said excuse me, every time, for like 4 hours of the 10 hour flight. (saw him glance sideways many of the times, almost stared me in the eyes as I said it most of the time)
>did not seem like the business class people say is so much more awesome than economy
>couldn't put legs out
>seat didn't go back at all
>old senile guy kept getting up, walking around every business class seat staring at everyone intensely
>new attendant doing english announcements knew no english
>economy disembarked before business because the dock behind us got attached first (though I did push through, fuck this)
>walked for 16 hours before flight, hard walking for final prep, legs were sore the entire time as well, so didn't sleep a wink
>had flight straight out of Narita to Kyushu, but had 8 hour wait time in airport (2 hours to Tokyo and back, didn't seem worth it, in hindsight, I really should have done it if for nothing else but to get a damn phone from a store where they spoke English)
>land in Oita Airport
>miss last bus to Yufuin, where i'm going
>take last bus to Oita City, 60-90 minutes
>stand around in the station at9-10pm trying to figure out timetable and machine (keep in mind, complete n00b to travel, I didn't think the place that had "tourist information" would also sell tickets. but they did. (funnily enoughthey spoke no English, great help for tourists)
>Finally get ticket to Yufuin, get 2nd last train at 10:30pm
>get to Yufuin, Jap friend picks me up from station.
overall a shit 40 odd hours, but because was my first time traveling outside my homeworld, I enjoyed the whole new world atmosphere going on.
Okay, I haven't flown with them, but I can imagine. You get what you pay for. A long-haul intercontinental flight in business class is maybe anywhere between 2000 and 5000 for a good airline.
business class people suck
everything time I fly business or first I feel like the competition thing is soo escalated it become unbearable.
I enjoy small talk on planes, but the business/first class people usually suck. The doctors want to talk down to me (I have an advanced degree as well calm down) and the businessmen attempt to pretend I don't exist or aggressively steal my space.
What pleb tier airlines do you fly? Most of the time in business class I have my own solo seat. And if next to someone I still have enough space and privacy to not be o
invaded if I don't want to do small talk.
>first time in USA, on a ~24h Greyhound trip from NY to Daytona Beach
>me and my fat friend sit next to each other
>around 2 am at one of the stops
>a (white) fatty gets on the bus, points at my friend's place and says it's his place and we should leave
>friend is asleep, I am also sleepy so I don't get what's happening
>fatty insists it's his place, it's where he was sitting
>black people sitting around tell him that we were there for the last ~8 hours so he is wrong
>turns out fatty got out to buy some snacks and his bus left and thought ours was his
>black people laughing and telling how "one fatty wanted to steal other fatty's place"
Anyone have any tips for someone who's never flown on a plane before going from JFK to ICN to make a connecting to CEBU so I don't get lost/die/etc? I really have no idea wtf to expect and these stories of people missing connecting flights terrifies me. I'd shit my pants and probably die if I miss my flight.
I hate commerical airliner flying, the recycled air, the ambient noise, the smells, the cramped space, the sparsity of toilets
>flying budget carrier Melbourne-Narita
>stopover in Cairns for like 6 fucking hours, hot and humid, disgusting, being renovated so it's a fucking shack with nothing in it but check in terminals
>finally board the flight, shitbox plane
>flight from Cairns to Narita usually about 6-8 hours
>some fucking volcano is erupting or some bullshit, fly around waiting to it clear
>get to Narita 13 hours later, tired and disheveled, sweaty, hating everything
>go to airport toilet, wipe my sweaty ass, change clothes, bathe in deoderant
the worst is getting off the plane, fuck that shit, people are such scumbags when they fly
>those people who stand in the aisles for so fucking long at the front of the plane, holding up everyone
>everyone trying to be the first one out the fucking door, literally everybody getting up at once and charging out
>fuckheads sitting in first 2 rows with no overheads fucking taking up my overhead compartments before I get there
>same fuckheads pushing their way back down into the plane to get their belongings
I would welcome a staged debarkation system from the airlines, unload half the plane at a time or something.
if you aren't ready to fucking grab your shit and bolt immediately you'll be trapped for ages standing slightly hunched in your seat area while rude fucks push and shove for the exits, gotta be ready
>once got pushed back into my seat space by some fat piece of shit
>tfw all I did was call him a fat cunt and tell him to watch it
weak as fuck, though you cant really start a fight on a plane because muh terrorism
>getting on a long-haul flight
>really tired, just want to get going so I can fall asleep
>some asshole makes a scene about his seat having no legspace
>he's being a complete shithead about it
>he gets the stew to bump him to business class
>leaves his wife behind
>she's kind of cute
>I take his old seat, chat her up a bit
>snooze a bit
>wake up to his wife blowing me
>I cum, she swallows with a smile
>tells me she's going to give the dumbass a big sloppy kiss when they get off the plane
>sitting there minding my own business
>some fucker and his wife sit on me
>the fucker starts screaming about not having room because of my buddy up front
>leaves in a fury, some other cunt sits down on me
>starts constantly farting, fuckers wife is leaning away from him
>he tries to pull of some PUA bullshit on her, seems to work on the whore
>guy continues to fart
>I hate my life
Rant so not worthy of >green
I'm asian and live in the SF BayArea so >SFO
Word of advice, avoid Asian customs agents. Annoying fucking pricks.
>How long were you there?
>What were you doing?
>Nothing much, traveling with friends.
>Friends? Where are they? Why are you alone?
>We split up, I've no idea where they are.
>What you got in your bag? Anything to claim?
>I put it all on my customs form.
Stamp! "Place your bags over here", I now put dirty laundry on top of my bags just for this shit.
>Old white customs agent
>What you go?
>What you go?
>Dried herbs, spices, etc
Stamp! No issue, no hassle. They seriously don't give a fuck.
No matter how long the line is I will wait for the older white guys. And I always act like the happy know nothing fool when going through customs.
10 hour flight and the guy sitting next to me (by the window, thank god) was some kind of buddhist monk. As soon as we took off, he just sat up ramrod straight, placed his hands on his knees palms up and spend the whole 10 hours in that position without even blinking (or at least I haven't seen him blink, not like I spent the whole flight staring at him). Man, my spine hurt just from looking at him.
I posted the Indian bus story above. On the way back down the mountains (to Delhi, overnight), the bus was filled 75% with Tibetans. As soon as the bus was underway, all the Tibetan grannies pulled out various prayer rattles and shit, and were rattling and chanting for hours until they fell asleep... neat at first, quickly got irritating though.
Jetstar is a budget carrier owned by Qantas with subsidiaries throughout Asia which are joint ventures with local carriers. It's not real business class I don't know why he would waste his money on what essentially amounts to a economy class service on must full service airlines .
>First time in Japan, 20 years old, completely alone
>Speak shit Japanese
>Get on bullet train from Kyoto to Hiroshima
>Find my window seat next to a very busy looking young business man
>Attempt to put up my bags
>My massive American self and my massive American stacks of American shit fall all over this guy and his laptop
>Immediately start apologizing profusely bowing deeply and generally wishing I was dead.
>Get my shit together, the man just glares and says nothing to me...
Whenever I made the slightest movement after being seated he glared at me in disgust. Still the only negative intrapersonal interaction I've ever had with a Japanese person inside Japan. I'm embarrassed as fuck just thinking about it.
>Overnight Seattle to NYC
>Was like 17 or 18
>Sitting in middle seat, lady friend sitting on the aisle
>Girlfriend is on flight with me in window seat and we are surrounded by members of our theater group
>2 hours in I look around and almost fucking everybody onboard is dead asleep.
>Quietly wake my girlfriend
>Spend next thirty minutes masturbating eachother and doing other lude restricted movements
>Bend down like I'm lookin for something
TFW I ate my girlfriends pussy in her seat in a full airplane. Friend in the aisle was passed out the whole time.
YFW this is a true story and I will likely never top this in my life...
>TFW I ate my girlfriends pussy in her seat in a full airplane.
Sounds comfy. I'm sure it was great sex.
It's 'lewd' by the way.
Reminds me of a time I was on a bus in Spain. It's summer, super hot, 5 hour bus ride, windows not openable (wtf ALSA?), and the cherry-on-top, our bus driver had apologized at start of trip because the a/c was broken, and normally they might try to replace the bus, but they didn't have a replacement, etc. etc. Bus was only like half full.
So skip forward a couple hours, it's a hot afternoon and everyone's dozing. In the seats across the aisle, two teenagery girls are sleeping. Not sure where they're from as one was blonde, and they didn't really seem Spanish, more Scandinavian or something... So anyway, everyone's sweaty, had taken layers off to keep cool. They had on tight-ish tank tops, and skin-hugging pants something like yoga-pants. So these girls had slid down and forward on their seats as they had dozed off, meaning their tight-ass yoga pants were giving them serious camel toe, legs naturally slightly parted, with mound and slit plainly very visible. Skin glistening with sweat remember, and nipples jusssst poking through shirt enough to accurately and easily picture 'em. Since they were asleep I could of course stare as much as I wanted, so I turned 90° and leaned myself against the window and pretended to nap too.
It was too perfect, I wish I had had a smartphone at the time to take some creeper-shots, 'cause DAMN.
You know what it's like when you travel and your normal cycles of sexual release are delayed and disrupted. No gf at that time, and no fap or anything for over a week. My boner was raging like nothing else. I'm not a total perv and would like my police record to stay that way so all I did was look. I did fap to the thought later on in the hostel bathroom though.