WELCOME, VIDEO GAME FANS, TO THE 19TH ANNUAL ELECTRONIC ENTERTAINMENT EXPO!
Let's try this again. I'm ready.
Welcome gay sponge fags to the third annual fry cook shit eating cum games
So begin the 19th E3. I'm Geoff Keighley, and it's a beautiful day here at Los Angeles Convention Center.
But the real story is the bitter rivalry between competitors Mr. Krabs of Sony and Plankton of Microsoft.
Who could forget the year Sony won gold for this $399 console release?
Or when Microsoft won the hearts of millions by performing a massive backtrack routine... with a broken fanbase?
And now, late word is that this year, Sony will be represented by a new console, on what is perhaps the greatest day of his young life.
This is perhaps the greatest day of my young life, Sony. I can't believe I'm representing Sony in E3 2014.
To bring home the gold is to bring honor and glory to the PlayStation.
And all that free publicity will bring in customers! So don't lose!
AYE AYE SONY!
Are you trying to push out games fast? You'll never get them out in 2014 like that.
this is the best shit ever
In the link to the audio interview, it's somewhere towards the end. He said it himself.
>TFW Classic Spongebob episodes still make you giggle.
Spongebob is almost 15 years old.
Come on, Xbox, I'm trying to make games.
Games? Can I play?
You have to be a gaming console.
Be a gaming console? Is that all I gotta do? That'll be easy!
What do you mean easy?
How hard can it be?
They don't let just anybody make games. We're an elite corp!
>MFW grew up on basic and I can't relate to a cartoon I've never seen
I fucking hate fun.
Who else is ready for the CGI Spongebob Movie 2?
I'll make it a youtube video, instead.
What audio should we use for all of this. We'd better find some stock crowd cheering and such.
The sequel is a combination of traditional animation and live action as its predecessor was, and also used computer-generated imagery (CGI) to render the characters in 3D. Sherm Cohen, who worked as a character designer and the lead storyboard artist of The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie and left the show in 2005, returned to work on the sequel film.
Hey, publishing indies is not as easy as it sounds!
Why don't you go home Xbox? You can compete in the Most Cancerous Online Userbase Games.
No, Patrick flips a rock on the ground with his foot and makes a *PSSH* noise.
OP missed out on the chance to make a really good joke by throwing in an image of some indie game.
Well, at least I don't include a NSAbot camera.
You take that back!
PS MOVE! PS MOVE! PS MOVE!
You don't even have PS Move.
That OP said he was posting while there was a tornado warning outside and a green sky (generally a good sign one's near). He vanished for a bit, but then supposedly started posting from his phone.
wait, but thats exactly what Sony's doing....
PS4! PS4! PS4!
What's that smell in the air? I smell Microsoft!
I'M GONNA GET A JOB AS MAKING GAMES AND IT'LL BE EASY!
FINE! PS4! PS4! PS4!
Sorry guys, went full retard there. Back to the story.
The sides of my mouth hurt from trying not to laugh
Are you ready to do or die, Sony?
Always ready, Microsoft. Always ready.
Good. Because today, Microsoft is going to kick... YOUR CARAPACE!
SO YOU LIKE MESSING THINGS UP, HUH OP?
That's what you think, but I got me a champion. PS4! Show him!
Disregard the file names as of late.
Look at him. In his prime. You ain't got no chance!
That's where you're wrong, Sony, for I too have a champion.
Ladies and gentlemen, turn your attention to the southwest corridor!
Representing Microsoft a console so fearsome, so terrible, so mind-bendingly large, that those of you with weak constitutions may want to leave the stadium.
>so mind-bendingly large
My sides can't fucking take it
OG XBOX incoming
wait a minute, the DUEK was released before 2014
>so mind-bendingly large
HERE SHE COMES
Ready or not, here he comes. Quake with fear, you mortal fools. Bow down before the awesome might of...
Why do Pogo's songs always sound exactly the same just with different samples used to play the same notes?
>not the original xbox controller carrying the bone
YOU HAD AN OPPORTUNITY, AND YOU LET IT PASS RIGHT BY YOU
I'm aware of the timeline that this console was announced, I'm just making jokes.
>Not being a PC carrying the Xbone
YOU BLEW IT FUCKING BLEW IT THREAD OVER SHIT/10 MODS MOOOOOOOOOOOOODS!
>mfw reading that in Rodger's voice
I can't believe I haven't seen this before.