I'm klepto as fuck.
I steal something almost any time I'm in a store. Be it something simple like chapstick, or something like $40 worth of crab legs.
I have a problem, CLEARLY, but I've also never been caught.
>Not quoting scripture for every dilemma
I guess you could be sarcastic sometimes if your god is chill but you should probably be ready to convert heathens either into believers or corpses.
>you'll never be a cute girl
why even continue to live
That must just be your area or something.
Mine are very easy to steal from if you're not a fucking idiot.
I mean, ok, mine does have people around the store stocking stuff and everything, but there are tooooons of blind spots.
And jsut to verify, we're talking about Fry's Grocery not Electronics, right?
I wouldn't risk Electronics.
Probably a Paladin.
Not one of those hardcore, "I cleanse thee for it is the will of the Gods" paladins. Just one that roams around with his greatsword, keeping things peaceful and nice. It's a shame that a lot of Paladins get tugged down with the whole 'ultimate lawful good' classification.
jameis go to bed
>Not saving it as a reaction image to remind criminal scum of your presence
If you guys have a Kroger's Grocery around or some shit, it's the same thing.
...then pay with your blood...
A bard's life is for me, I have a part time job as a stand up comedian
By the way faggots, you're supposed to say what you WOULD be, not what you WANT to be. So all you idiots saying paladin better be 7 foot tall judges or something
You are a warrior then. You act mostly the same but you are more paid by the state rather than the church. You'd be more pragmatic looking for your town rather than idealism and fanaticism
I'm black and actually do have a talent for breaking into places. My pickpocketing is solid as long as part of it is sticking out, my huge man hands prevent me from actually going into the pocket.
Whichever one was underpowered in every way and useless as fuck.
Nah guys, this man is a knight
He keeps the peace and he's a good guy but he's not very bumtight
Paladins are paladins because they take the divine law way too seriously and enforce it no matter the cost
This would be my Persona.
I guess a priest/cleric or whatever they call them in rpgs. Because I figure I'm more likely to be the guy raising morale than one of the grunts slugging it out. And I'm already a zealot.
I see your Thanatos and raise you a Sisyphus.
supporter because alpha as fuck but still caring about the rest
The best is to be a qt boy
You can be cute and you still have a butt to use and there is no blood
You have to clean though, but that is all
Put your weapon away before you make a serious mistake.
A chaos knight because fuck paladins and you faggots. I just want gifts from the dark gods and to do my own thing.
>you're hairy as fuck and will never be a cute grill or boy or anything in this life
Reality is so cruel.
>a fucking loser piece of shit that can't doing anything right
Yeah, well my persona would get Darkler, YHVH's eviler brother that's even stronger and can nullify all other personas and also allows me to be invincible, use all bankais from Bleach, go SSJ5, and master all ninjutsu.
dude what does anyone in real life have that. ok im a warehouse working so what should i be? what calass is that
i just want to be a paladin. use blessed hammers with holy shield and teleport around with my enigma and hoto
All those at the bottom are workouts for your ass, right? Would you happen to have a chart for abdominal muscles? I'm not that interested in becoming a little girl, but I'd like not to be a skinnyfag forever.
>dude what does anyone in real life have that
I dunno, man, maybe going to a church?
Loser class. Special skill - eating Doritos and dropping out of uni
Learns skills at physical skills at half rate and other skills at double rate but can't use them
Dies before level 30, or gets married to poisonous woman/put in prison and lives until level 50-60
The kind that when I'm playing in your group you're all "wtf is this guy he doesn't do shit" and then when I'm not around you're all "holy shit we need to get that guy back".
Sadly, I don;t. I only have that pic because it rarely fails to get amusing responses.
I also have Emi's running chart, if ya want it.
>be a bard
>tell retard warriors your giving them powers playing random chords on some instrument
We surely could not of achieved this without you friend.
That's why everyone in this thread who says they would be a paladin is full of shit
You would need to be an 8 foot tall, 350lb preacher who gives no fucks and wears very heavy robes to qualify for paladin
You all wouldn't have classes and most of you would be level 1s after 20 something odd years of playing. Your parents are disappointed in you and you've done little to show for all of the privilege you had growing up. You are squandered potential.
Almost every other board has people that have applied themselves and gained useful skills, even from browsing 4chan. However, most of you all are irredeemable level one scrubs.
That said, I'd probably be a holy scribe/priest/monk. /fit/ tier Lawyer with a penchant for writing, meditation, and /out/door activities.
>a legless girl's running chart
Actually, that kind of sounds interesting. Sure, lets see it.
If I think of an average rpg, risk versus reward type. If I think dark souls however, Full elite knight and completely blood lusted.
No buttsecks included, but optional.
Well I am depressed and my hatred towards the world is increasing. Nobody understands how I'm suffering and I feel like I'm the only intelligent person in my social circle. Everyone falls for fashion, latest pop music shit and energy drinks. While my friends want to drink and party I prefer reading Nietzsche or other philosophy books at home. Seriously everyone is a damn sheep so I most likely consider myself a Sage or Necromancer
>lvl 22 bard
>12 years of lessons and practice
>slightly above average at guitar
Well, only thing you would lose trying is time you could be spending on 4chinz, so why not?
Try hanging out with people who aren't idiots then
Knight/fighter/warrior/monk, any of these.
In MMORPGs I gravitate towards something that can tank hits but I can play them all. Personal tier list is phys. damage tank > healer > phys. dps > magic dps.
Fuck mages, necromancers and all that other shit.
What class would i be why i would be my Peenis weenis :D get it my Peeenis Weenis is the class i would be :D
You asked what class i would be and i would be my Peeenis Weenis :D get itfdb463yh b790k hhsdfdfgmjn
>This guy is now 20 and probably still just as autistic
I own 3 cats, 4 dogs, 22 chickens, 5 pigs, 2 cows, 3 horses, 7 turtles, 6 raccoons, a couple of foxes, god knows how many field mice, a very talkative rooster and one very grumpy wife.
Yes, my last name is Macdonald, and I do own a farm. I ain't old though.
>creepy losers who hang around walmart taking creeper pics of random people
Sure is Warhammer in here.
The defining trait of a Paladin is that they choose to do good no matter the situation, not that they're enforcers to a divinity or authority of some kind.
Forensic scientist, so either an alchemist or a necromancer I guess. I actually wanted to do a D&D campaign about lawful Necromancers starting a CSI unit once.
If I'm being realistic though I'd say a layabout.
Me too, but I nearly got arrested once. That turned me off it, now i only steal to sell for money, not fun.
Things I've stolen: Multiple Sennheiser's, multipke car GPSes I sold off, wireless sony headphones, a Wii U, about 20 PS3/3DS from Best Buy (only older/cheaper games with no security device). Also a bunch of clothes from Target.
The Wii U was definitely the hardest to steal from Best Buy, but I did it. Learning to slip off spiderwire is very useful if youre a klepto.
Fuck you're right. Bard is master race. Dandelion gets all the wiminz and has badass friends to keep him out of trouble like Geralt and Zoltan. I mean, I have no friends but I'm sure once I start telling warrior folk that listening to my music is like taking bull-shark testosterone I'll make some.
Red Mage, I Could Kill things with sword, set things on fire, and heal people.
Advisor if that's a class.
Remember that dirty Jew that was poisoning the King of Rohan in LOTR?
I'd be that.
Join the bard master race. We can inspire the feeblest of warriors and melt the coldest of sorceresses.
Probably, can't be sure on the detail.
But bards are metaphorically gay.
I can't even play anything worth a shit, so it doesn't even matter.
I'll just spec fully into knitmancery then get mad because that's even more gay.
I just want to be able to shank fuckers with a sword, is that too much to ask?
computer science student
Bard, I mostly get by just making people laugh, telling stories and shit. I've made a lot of friends, only way I survive really is off of a big network of favor.
Though if life was an RPG, I'd more likely be the guy who gets the main characters together.
If are talking about classic classes/jobs/roles, probably thief.
>not smart enough to be a wizard/mage
>not naturally strong or good at fighting/sport to be a warrior
>can't into music very well for bard
>archery isn't my deal, or any kind of shooting really
>not exactly extremely cunning but probably better at staying alive then casting magic or cutting people up with a sword
I dont really have any affinity with anything, I would probably just be a thief. I don't steal things IRL from people but I have jacked shit from companies/gotten a few services for free through deciet, snuck into hotels and got free breakfast, ect.
I assume magic would be pretty hard and although I'm not unfit I'm not like a pro athelete/fighter (which I assume would be required to be a warrior or some kind of RPG fighting class)
>something like $40 worth of crab legs.
Imagine you're in a store and you catch some fat faggot walking out with crab legs? I'd probably let the guy go, he obviously has some sort of problem
peasant that turns into a wizard in the near future
Im just going to go out of a limb here and say that plenty of people saw you, but thought "Theres no goddamn way that anyone would steal $40 worth of crablegs, he probably bought it when I wasnt looking"
apprentice pizza guy quest giver who gives you stat boosting pizza in exchange for short escort quests
A ranger/archer with all his points in str, a fuckup that keeps his distance and can't even hit his targets
Cleric and not the heavy armor and mace kind of cleric. The "suffering gibbering wreck that can answer why you are what you are at any significant turn of your existence and what is it that your friends are hiding from you" kind of cleric. Some deity dedicated to exposure of secrets and making sure the truth is always known, that blesses its followers with minor to major precognition powers and intrinsic understanding of motives of other intelligent humanoid creatures in exchange for slowly draining their life away. They get to live longer if they expose carefully hidden secrets, no matter their nature, so several of those showing up in areas where major political powers are concentrated usually are very bad news because making sure all of your secrets are exposed is what keeps them alive. Or a psyker, the wh40k one.
>some gypsy managed to steal a 42 inch tv, smuggled in her dress, gets cought at the nearby bus stop when they noticed a tv missing
gypsies get a +10 on sleight of hand and sneaking, too bad for the -5 intelligence and speech
Well, most of the time I would just sneakily put it into a backpack for things like the headphones once I made sure to remove any security devices; keeping an eye on store employees and security cam location was crucial to making sure I never got caught at this specific store. Then I just tried to walk out quickly and not revisit the store for a week. Spacing out 'visits' is also important, the time I nearly got arrested I had stolen two GPSes from a Target, then tried to go the next day to steal more (they were selling at $150 a pop on the internet surprisingly, seemed like easy spare cash). I guess because I was there the day before, they expected me. So that was a fuckup, even though I did manage to steal a ton of shit from that Target before they nearly caught me. The Wii U however, was a whole operation.
First of all, I have to explain the setting. This Best Buy is in a mall with a grocery store in it. This grocery sells large, reuseable bags with the grocery store logo on it; so if you happened to be walking around with it in Best Buy, it would just look like you were carrying groceries. I went to this Best Buy during a sale, so it was very crowded as well.
Basically at this Best Buy (it was in Canada, I've heard it's more heavily secured in America); they had a boxed Wii U out on display by the Wii U kiosk. It had spiderwire on it, the idea being you take the console, go up to the counter and purchase it. I took it, walked around the store while slowly slipping off the spiderwire, went into a corner where I saw few security cameras, pulled the reusable grocery bag from my jacket pocket, put the Wii U box inside the bag, walked around for about 1 minute then left the store. Didn't revisit for about a month, but I've gone since and they don't seem to notice me as anyone suspicious.
I wouldn't mind just being a nice mace wielding town guard that everyone likes
OY ITZ DEM BEAKY BOYZ BUT LOOK HOW LITTLE DER CHOPPAZ IS
MAKES ME LAFF
I actually do that form of martial arts in the gif. These are sets of choreographed fights used as demonstrations, grading and in competitions, they're never ever claimed to be actual sparring, which is in its own category and (obviously) are a lot less grand and spectacular.
I'd probably be a Healer. Or whatever it's called in the game you have in thought.
Not a typical Cleric who wields a mace and bashes stuff though. Just healing.
I play Healer in pretty much every MMO ever. I like to keep people alive.
But in all honesty I'd probably be a dead NPC in a side-quest you take of a person who wants you to clean up my suicide.
Or one you never meet because he never leaves the room.
If we're talking based on reality of course.
I can't see myself as a class.
I'd be the weird NPC living in a house in the middle of nowhere. You'd come into my place expecting something good, but I'd just be selling a weapon slightly weaker than the one you have equipped.
Would you also tell people that if they come back later you might have more weapons but you never do until the end of the game where you have the ultimate weapon but everyone will have given up checking by that point?
So, you are one of those idea guys that want to work in the war industry.
The one who cannot chop a head, shoot an arrow or build a siege tower but think kings will hire you just because you have battle ideas, don't you? I'm sure your battle idea involves flanking the enemy and using a wood horse to hide troops. Wow, so original, very cunning.
lvl 40 commoner
My turnips picking per second (tpps) is at least 420, I am the best commoner in the land, my father was a human and my mother was a human making me half-human, or human/human if you prefer (has a nice ring to it dontcha think).
I was born on Terra PRIME, the most populated planet in Solar System. I belong to an ancient race of super evolved primates. My skills at shitposting are the roof, fair to say, I am the prince of the universe, I like to grope my dick sometimes, I like to put penis shaped things in my ass because it brings me gay pleasure m8888
>mfw I do HEMA and own a full suit of armor
Looks like I'm a knight
What does architecture get me?
Wizard? Artificer? Geomancer?
Not sure you could say my class is a real
So where my fellow healers (medfags) at?
>healer/bard master race
>except not really because my multiclassing probably means I fucked up my point distrib and will never be a top-tier healer (like a doctor or some shit, forever just a medic)
Not that guy, but here's what I do when I'm in a large food store (Shoprite etc.)
>wear short sleeved shirt
>then a long-sleeved shirt (button-up is best)
>then a light leather jacket
>tuck both shirts into your pants and start collecting food on a shopping cart
>when you're in a camera blind spot, and no one else is looking, shove food between the two layers of shirt
Things to be wary of:
-normalfags tend to be moralfags too. Don't be seen by ANYONE.
-have a cover story ready. If you're thin, claim you're just trying to feed yourself because mom's been drinking again (this one has saved my ass from jail twice)
-if you've been caught in one store, or if people seem suspicious of you in any way, don't hit that store for a while. Move around.
-be careful how you arrange shit under your clothes. Don't let metal knock against glass while you're trying to walk out.
-don't get greedy. the bulges can be easier to spot than you think. steal small items, and a few at a time.
-the shopping cart is just a red herring. you can abandon it when you walk out.
-pretend you have to go get money from your car or something.
-never steal on sundays because that's when the niggers and spics are out doing their family shopping, so the stores are always busier
By placing the food between two layers of cloth, you won't have to worry as much about the food being too cold, which definitely tenses you up when it's against your skin.
The leather jacket is to hide bulges. Get a good suede one and it's nearly impossible to detect small items.
I've gotten very large boxes out of stores under my coat, just by pretending to be in a rush AND covering up the bulge with my arms somehow. Typically I do this by holding my cell phone up to my ear with both hands, and having a fake conversation as I walk past security.
Mind you, this is not how I got caught. I got caught on days when I forgot to wear a belt, and people saw food slip out of my shirt. Belts are VERY important to the operation.
I'm not a bad shot - so I guess some kind of Archer/Ranger? Not too bad at sneaking around either.
Shame really, I'd rather be a big heavy knight-type with either a greataxe or a 1h-Axe+Greatshield, since I choose that type in the vidya, but I'm not built enough for it. Not to mention I'm useless in a close-combat situation.
Yeah. Gimme a ranged weapon in real life and I'm good.
All the high-level architects have huge fucking egos.
Frank Lloyd Wright once gave a talk and was introduced as the "greatest living American Architect." The first thing Frank Lloyd Wright did was correct him by saying his proper title was "greatest architect."
Thom Mayne, a modernist, was giving a talk about modernist vs. classical styles during which he called classical design "dangerous."
Philip Johnson was super gay and a post-modern asshole.
When Robert Venturi and Denise Scott Brown published "Learning From Las Vegas," there was a huge outcry over the message of supporting "common" design. It was pretty much heresy. By the way, Robert Venturi and Denise Scott Brown are two of the greatest post-modern architects.
Architecture is very much a holy profession. You are doing nothing short of creating the future, it's kinda hard not to let the power go to your head.
>implying mere town guards will get dat sexy ass brigandine over mail
It's too luxurious for you plebs.
>implying I wouldn't have saved the blacksmith's life many times enough for him to thank me with proper mail armor so that he in a way can defend my life
Besides, this is an RPG we're talking about. Not real life
>Besides, this is an RPG we're talking about. Not real life
The most immersive games, for me, are the ones that are either quite realistic, or at least keep the world's rules internally consistent.
While M&B mix-and-matches various time periods across the game, mixing 10th Century Vikings with 16th Century knights and beyond, plate is still ludicrously expensive for all Calradians.
Probably Monk/Drunken Master
I actually did do martial arts for a while and managed to get a blackbelt in Tae Kwon Do, so I have the technique required for it, I'd just need to practice more and probably get stronger.
I'd get wasted as a secret technique since I love fucking around/fighting/wrestling when I get REALLY drunk. And drunken master style is the most entertaining to watch imo and its always my favorite character in any movie/show that has them. So I guess then it'd be like
after having imbibed of course.
I usually tend to prefer low-fantasy when it comes to fantasy games
I still prefer futuristic settings though
I like it better when things are closer tied to reality, with armors and clothing making sense and seeming like it could fit within a setting. I don't mind if some people have better armor than they should, as long as it's fitting.
I don't see rather lightly armored guards bad, but I wouldn't like to see a peasant wearing full on plate armor
I agree with both sentiments. STALKER is a good example: though bloodsuckers and snorks are not at all "realistic," it's very easy to forgive these lapses in realism because the game still tries to make sense of everything within its own rules, and mostly succeeds.
I wish Kingdom Come: Deliverance was being made with M&B slavmagic, because I know my toaster won't be able to run it. Really detailed character customization is a huge plus for me.
Some kind of weird combination of warrior/bard I'd say now that I think about it. Like someone who built a warrior class full of vitality then changed to bard and occasionally uses some of the warrior skills
>or something like $40 worth of crab legs.
why is this so funny?