They're quite cheap too. Just waiting to win the lottery and convert it into 1/2 flats 1/2 /v/ mansion.
Fucking donating lottery winnings to charity, what have poor starving children in Africa ever done for me?
>at /v/ mansion
>playing some Timesplitters 2 and drinking beer
>some hungry skeleton makes his way over
>screams "WATER ONLY!" and tries to slap the beer out of my hand
>the slap breaks his wrist
>i get sued
Fuck the /v/ mansion!
>Fucking donating lottery winnings to charity, what have poor starving children in Africa ever done for me?
I like your way of thinking.
Literally all they ever did was provide material for charities to guilt trip us into signing their paycheques.
That's why I said lottery. I buy it, I hire some guys, they do it for me, I play video games.
WHO THE FUCK IS CLOGGING ALL THE TOILETS?!
HOLY SHIT YOU FUCKING MONGOLOIDS, COULD YOU AT LEAST PLUGGER AFTER USE?? YOU KNOW, THAT STICK WITH THE RED END NEXT TO DRIED TOILET PAPER PIECES OF SHIT? IT HAS GOTTEN SO BAD THAT I HAVE RESORTED TO SHITTING IN THE BATH TUBS AND PISSING IN BOTTLES.
GODDAMN YOU FILTHY MOUTH-BREATHING RETARDS. IM GOING BACK TO MY MOM'S NEXT WEEK
Already guys, I'll be cooking for tonight.
How do you want your steak?
>Why is there spaghetti on the floor?
>Why does it smell like shit everywhere?
>why is https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UpSHC1dqX1o playing all the time?
>Why am I here?
>Why is no one talking about video games?
>Why are there fat guys in dresses everywhere?
>What did i do to deserve this?
come to the 3rd floor man, we hardly have any shit lying around and people have their private bathrooms
only thing that could be considered bad is the neverending bon jovi loop
>get to /v/ mansion
>its all weebs playing console games and shitty VN's on PC
>anime waifu posters everywhere
goddamnit, /v/ mansion would be so shit in reality,
but the idea of it is so fucking cool i just don't get it
>go to /v/ mansion
>go to PC gaming corner
>everyone watching some twitch stream, playing LoL and with Speccy open, each with it's own display
when will they ever learn
the fact that your mom brings us homemade lasagna is the only reason we tolerate your ass in this place.
be grateful you shitter.
she told me she wishes i was her son when you weren't in the room
>fags constantly accuse you of being from the reddit ritz or the tumblr tower
>piss bottles scattered all over the place
>kitchen is stocked with nothing but mtn dew, doritos and hot pockets
>showers remain unused
so is there a way we could actually do this sort of thing?
like with cameras set up for people that aren't in the mansion to stream?
i just want to live with some cool guys and play vidya
>no one plays vidya
>everybody just mashes their heads into the wall and yell "ayy le epic lmao :^)"
>chillin' in the mansion
>someone yells down the hallway
>"MGS2 is the best one in the series"
>people are doing cheap imitations of CQC in the hallways.
Not gonna lie, a /v/ mansion would be fun as fuck. The mansion network would be outfitted with a NAS to store games and such on, to reduce internet load (people would transfer games from the NAS instead of downloading them, so only one person would need to download the game.) LAN play all day every day.
We'd make a game development company and use the mansion as our office for tax deductions. Our living area would be nearby but not connected (necessary for tax purposes.)
Our screening process for mansion members would be dual purpose -- we'd also be hiring people. We'd require some small criteria like being able to do something involving game development. We'd pay people with the sales of the games and charge rent below those wages to ensure some income for everyone as well as income for us, which we'd use to pay for the mansion, it's property, etc. Any excess would go to game development or mansion improvement/expansion. Mansion gaming tournaments would decide some budget decisions. We'd also use a mansion-exclusive currency for paying for food and such, which you'd earn either via gaming or chores around the mansion.
We could buy some land somewhere in the US uninhabited country side, on fertile soil. We'd use a portion of the land for a farm to grow food and cut down on expenses, some of which we'd sell to pay for internet cost or just straight up eat to lower cost of food.
During the winter, rather than paying to heat the entire mansion, we'd vent hot air only into occupied areas.
We'd have a mansion court whereby if someone is discovered to have clogged a toilet and left it, or something similar, a jury would decide their fate. They might have to grind someone's character in an MMO to a certain level, be fined mansion money, etc.
>some guys walks through the door
>I love Reisen
>eventually we make enough money to expand
>the /v/ mansion evolves into the /v/illage
>village-wide network and free internet
>low rent because it's technically all employee housing
>become a government recognized community
>offer safe harbor to /v/irgin NEETs kicked out by their parents (finally)
>free vidya development lessons to integrate said NEETs into the community
i want it
"WHO ATE MY FUCKING PIZZA I SWEAR TO GOD YOU SHITS"
FUCK YOU IT WAS IN MY ROOM
THAT MAKES IT MINE BY RIGHT
You put your fucking top under the skirt.
And thats a whole step you don't have to do when you put on the top first, then the skirt.
>DaS players roll into their beds
>curious as to why they always sound like they're in agony at night
>hold my ears against their door, its about 4am now
>all i hear is someone silently muttering "gud night"
That's pretty good.
The notion of mansion-specific economy tickles my fancy.
Who the fuck keeps welding my door?
Thanks for the free dosh though.
>/v/ hasn't started a kickstarter or crowfunding for a /v/ mansion
Fuck you guys
>Fast forward a year
>/v/illiage had become a ci/v/ic central for all NEETS
>develop blockbuster games
>use profits to buy wind turbines and solar panels
>eventually the community becomes so large they have to expand
>/v/idyaopolis is recognized as an official US city or some shit
>eventually some sperglord creates their own currency
>become official currency of /v/ city
>the US economy crashes
>every news network is talking about how to fix the '/v/ problem'
>talk of a hostile takeover
>eventually most of the military defects to /v/ nation
>the USA is now completely turned
Reminder that you would be sharing the /v/ mansion with these poeple
>laws decided by vidya tournaments
>positions in office are decided by vidya tournaments
>politicians are the best gamers in the country
>all jews are deported
>a new tax bracket is made exclusively for EA
>it's taxed so heavily that they can't operate in the US anymore
>loses their audience and shuts down
They all look like a cool bunch, to be honest.
>the unconfortable faces of the femanons
I always think of Lost Girl's house that Bo lives in.
I wish I could do that shit. Looks so awesome.
>we have our own metal gear.
Equipped with baseballs
Sir, our latest figures from the previous quarter show that shitposting is up 50% and annual profits from passes are down 10%. This is likely due to new competitors in the market.
>/v/ medics invent the strenght dose of power
>one alpha guy hitting on all the sissies
>it would be
he plays his vidya while the sissies take turns sucking his dick under the desk
>sometimes he plays console games with
me on his lap, bouncing on his dick to keep him entertained
>a /v/ mansion cash shop is added
>it's a site on the network where you can spend mansion money to buy food and stuff
>anon makes/gets food, brings it to you, you give them the money
>also used for things like laundry and whatever else is requested
>there's also a /v/ mansion marketplace site for buying whatever goods people make (like a pie they're known for making or something, or drawfag stuff)
I'd happily work as /v/ mansion sysadmin
We're going to need a hell of a lot of bandwidth and infrastructure.
>Walk in big living room with a bowl of chips in hand
>Pal just got bloodborne on his ps4. Gonna watch dat shit
>20 minutes in suddenly feel something on my neck
>Some guy from the PC gang crouched behind the sofa watching the screen.
>Clap hands together and tell him to scram.
>Whimpers away to the rest his PC friends
I mean the guy could just come sit down with us. Why is he so weird?
>Enter v mansion
>Listen to the sound of console gamers playing their exclusives
>Enter the Dragon's Dogma room
>It's full of grown men dressed as lolis
>They're worshiping a crudely made statue of Grigori
>The floor is covered with used dragon dildos of all sizes
Why the fuck we don't make a /v/ mansion? Would be nice and we could have fun and invite traps over for fucking, wake up to go to the kitchen just to talk vidya, have Thanksgiving together. Christmas and Halloween together.
Valentines day together :3
And other fun stuff.
Shit would be a blast
>Enter v mansion
>Listen to the sound of console gamers playing their exclusives
>Clearly they are enjoying their games
>Listen to the sound of PC gamers playing their exclusives
>whining, weeping and farting in equal measure
All day and most of the night i hear them, pounding out my door, trying to get in. Taunting me, telling me they just want to see my ecchi collection, but I know better. It's been several months since they tricked the last one of us out of the room. Poor short bastard didn't stand a chance. The barricade is holding, and every night at 3:58 am I go to the kitchen to get something to eat. They are far too distracted with the pudding to notice me sneaking away with some doritos.
>literally ordering cheese pizza every single fucking day
>mfw murricans call Mozzarella cheese
Gambling is cards, slots, and anything else that can be won by knowing something instead of pure luck. If you can play cards right, you can win. If you know the slots repeating combination you can win.
Lottery is lottery, and is based on pure luck.
mozzarella is cheese you idiot
and a "mozzarella pizza" is a white pizza
cheese pizza is just a normal pizza without any topping other than cheese and tomato sauce.
>implying you know shit about pizza
nigger im from upstate new york where pizza is held to a bitchin standard
I love gambling myself. I do it always in vidya and shit.
But in real life? I placed it in the bullshit folder together with religion and diet coke.
Still, it's ok if you do it every so often. Just keep in mind that if you put the money you spent in a jar instead of wasting it you'd have some sweet cash
>mozzarella is cheese
I never said it wasn't, but saying "I want pizza with cheese" here in Italy is plain fucking retarded.
There's a thousand different types of cheeses. It's like someone goes to buy a car and says "I want one with 4 wheels". It's not a wrong statement by any means, but it's too generic
>new york pizza
>if someone is discovered to have clogged a toilet and left it
It takes less than 5 minutes to unclog a toilet (assuming it's excrement in there). Get a bucket of some kind (those one gallon ice-cream buckets work nice), hot water from tub and dishwashing liquid.
Warm up the bowl by pouring some hot water in. Next put some dishwashing liquid (not too much) into your bucket with hot water, pour into bowl and use plunger.
Repeat until clear. Most times you won't even need the dishwashing liquid.
Wasn't someone going to buy an abandoned missile silo and make it into a mansion?
Yeah but fuck it. A bit of loose change never hurt my feelings. Reminds of me of that dude who said "If I had all the money I spend on drink I'd spend it all on drink."
I do like some poker myself though.
Why don't we get a large warehouse or prison and convert it to a real /v/ mansion? Rotate duties between everyone, would be fun as fuck.
Hopefully some femanons come along as well, bring some of /a/.
I've been to new york and tasted your pizzas.
They make the bread way too thick. You guys have no idea how to keep the bread-to-other-shit ratio
Despite that I'll admit it was very good. Nothing like what you eat here, though.
And I'm not talking Naples or any other stereotypically famous place.
Take Tuscany for example: any restaurant with an actual fireplace will beat all the new york ovens any day of the week
If you haven't tried real italian pizza yet, you're missing a lot
>Try to talk about X-COM
>Entire mansion erupts into a furious chorus of ''AYY LMAO!''
>Everyone goes deaf
>Single Anon walks in with a gun, shoots in random directs, shits his pants, primes a grenade and blows himself up like a retard
>Everyone starts to scream ''FUCKING ROOKIES''
>If you know the slots repeating combination you can win.
Slots don't repeat. They are a game of chance.
I'm not an expert by any means, but there's a cafe that I go to regularly, and sometimes I see these asian guys entering with a lot of cash and exiting with even more. Always in the late evening.
One day I was eating with a friend, and a guy (not asian) got real mad with the lady that owns the bar. He said something like "I fucking told you not to let anybody play these slots yesterday"
I have no idea, man
Well, only about 10% of the posts I see here are seem posted by drooling retards.
The rest are either okay or pretty intelligent. Even if they want to get a rise out of others.
Why do we underestimate ourselves so much?
Are you willing to give people their daily doses no matter what?
I was going to put this on the fridge, but there's no room with all the waifu pictures on it. A U.N investigator is coming by today to confirm that we are not a health risk to everyone within a 50 mile radius (fucking clean the H-games wing god damnit) and that we are not building a Metal Gear. Hide the Metal Gear under some coats and be on your best behavior. The guy's name is Scull Phace. Please don't fuck this up guys.
Because eventually a neckbeard with a fedora would come with a couple of guns and shoot everybody before offing himself?
>"Corpses found in abandoned mansion at the edge of the city, police suspects sex suicide cult"
God forbid we have the mansion in the US.
just get somebody from /g/ to setup a bunch of 3D printers for all our lewd needs.
>Day 40 at the /V mansion
>Grab a cold pizza slice from the fridge
>As I close the fridge door, on the other side is some guy staring at me with hatred I have not seen with my waking eye
>"Stop right there criminal scum!"
>tfw I can't find people like you in Craigslist
It's always nsa. It's always just one night.
I love cock and looking girly for a guy. It's not the same when I do it alone. Goddammit /v/ make a mansion.
Guys, can we take a bit of time to imagine what would actually happen?
I think it would be very hard to break the ice with each other, and we'd end up just playing vidya either a lone or with 1/2 friends in different corners It would all be very embarrassing since what makes this website special is that nobody has an identity
Sadly I'm only a 6/10, 6.5 at a push.
Though I bet I'd be way above average by /v/ standards, so I'd gladly pin you down on your back and lift your legs over my shoulders before railing your sissy ass.
>go to the kitchen to make myself some lunch
>open a cupboard, 30 giant hotpocket boxes fall out and pin me to the ground
>skeleton arms cant lift the trememendous weight
>shouting for help, nobody comes to help me
>stuck on the floor for what seems like days
>suddenly a neckbeard comes in to pour out his piss bottle
>sees a skeleton on the floor
>runs away in terror scream 2SPOOKY4ME at the top of his lungs
>entire mansion thrown into a panic
>get kicked out of the /v/ mansion
>/x/ mansion adopts me
I actually bought a house and invited my 4 vidya friends to move in (with rent for the bills). Got a 2 story with basement and a pool in the backyard.
Gotta tell you it's the life.
>hang out in the Nintendo section
>constant shitposters crying about rehashes and no earthbound/f zero
>just want to play smash
>there's a bunch of assmad neckbeards bitching about their lolis and literally who's not being in
>'hey man wanna smash?' I ask
>'fuck off weeaboo'
>go to play some Zelda instead
>more neckbeards whining about how Zelda is shit and that their hipster game was the last good Zelda game
>constant fedora shitposting
>I can't even play wind waker without a sonygger coming in and going off about babby games
>fuck, I'll just play splatoon
>its just NEETs jerking off to squid porn
Hold on a second. How would people get accepted inside the mansion?
We can't just let some random minecraft cunt inside. How can we verify that they're not only from /v/, but they're also not newfags?
Alright guys. I got the shittiest room in the mansion. What do I do with all my furniture?
Hmm, this could be a problem.
A mansion where people can live for free would attract a lot of attention, which means people will try to pretend they're from here
How do we avoid that?
b-but Im terrible at everything except platformers
>vidya tourney with aims to represent each community
I-I'm just gonna hang out with the Metal Gear guys over there... g-guys?
The original house owners make some form of website for application which is only open at certain hours.
At random intervals the website is posted on /v/(by this I mean that the site is open during that time),thus only people who regularly browse /v/ can get in, and they also have to fill in a questionnaire with /v/related things. If they say they only like Deus Ex, VtmB and all " /v/ approved" games then there'll definitely be a red flag going up.
Maybe even a skype interview to see if he's a cool guy.
This way the original owners can control the amount of people that come and filter casuals or people from other communities trying to get a room for free.
Of course this is just conjecture, personally I am against such a thing because the lack of anonymity wouldn't make it the same, /v/ mansion should just stay as a " what if" .
>5 years of /v/ mansion threads
>still no real /v/ mansion
I'm losing hope you guys
Here's why this shit would not work.
Besides of course that it would need a really fucking rich guy that would be willing to literally waste a lot of money on something that would give zero profit. And also money to mantain the mansion and us.
>no way to tell someone's been on /v/ and for a long time, and if there is a way it would be easily exploited by others to pass as one of us
>embarrassing to meet people in real life
>people that don't have English as their main language can type well on the Internet, but may find lots of difficulties speaking in real life
>neckbeards would feel even worse because they find out that they are a minority even here (this could be a plus, though)
>people would want to return home after 10 minutes of awkwardness
>no point at all because you can just play your videogames at home and talk on /v/
Cats biologically can not be bros.
The cat found the hedgehog's back to be comfortable so he put its head on it
You could argue that it's "cute", but there's literally nothing bro about that.
My dog doing 3 kilometers getting to me because I slept at a friend's house for a day, now that's a jfucking bro.
How about this? You need a job, everyone who lives in the house (mansion) has to have one.
And we all share games to save money. And pay for electricity and other shit.
Now where would the /v/ mansion be? Somewhere where there's Google fiber?
>just bought a nice comic
>leave it on the kitchen counter for 2 minutes to take a piss
>come back and find out all the pages have been replaced with different and increasingly abstract versions of you know what
guys, as the mansion doctor I'm getting tired of reminding you all to take your daily dose
>orgy room filled with sweaty bodies slapping against each other
>whenever someone cums their shame, guilt and disgust hit them and they flee the room, screaming
>later they become horny and can't help but venture back
imagine the smell
We need our own on-site women. They live there only to keep the mansion clean, cook meals and have sex with mansion residents.
They have their own wing of the mansion where none of us are allowed. If you want sex with one of them, you sign up for a queue, no charge, it's part of being a mansion resident.
Because of this, EVERYONE is subject to frequent STD testing. It would be great.
>it would need a really fucking rich guy that would be willing to literally waste a lot of money on something that would give zero profit.
what if our business model was to have femanons doing twitch streams, and the profits we make from donations go to our mansion?
shhe would be in on it, because it would pay for her living conditions in the mansion as well
>go to ny with 4 of my friends to see if their pizzas compete with ours
>stay for a month, but for the first week we do a tour around the city staying at different places and eating pizzas at different places
Now if I remember correctly, the first place we ate at was alright and arguably the best one of the trip. The others were ranging from mediocre to downright terrible.
One of us couldn't even go back to the first decent pizzeria because he had gotten diarrhea from the last one and couldn't eat pizza for a lot of time.
Nothing special, in my experience.
And yes, they were all with a very thick crust, even when we explicitly asked for a thin crust.
Yeah no, this is how the /v/ mansion would be.
>>no way to tell someone's been on /v/ and for a long time, and if there is a way it would be easily exploited by others to pass as one of us
Do you recognize these two?
>Implying I wouldn't kill your boyfriend to prove my dominance over him and than take you as my reward
>Implying I won't fuck you until your eyes are crossed everyday and make you worship my dick like the slut you are
Cannot remember, and not in the exact order anyways.
There's still the photo album, and I do believe that has all the names together with the interiors.
However I deleted it some time ago because it was taking up too much space of my hard drive, but my friends should still have it.
I remember that they were almost all called "[name]'s Pizzeria" or just "[name]'s".
>implying I'm a bottom
>implying I wouldn't laugh at a neckbeard nerd like you trying to dom
>implying I wouldn't pull down your pants in the common area and have everyone laugh at you
Hey guys look the /vg/ appartament moved the next door!
>Implying my donkey dick is anything to laugh at
I'm not telling those, three of us are huge normalfags and made a facebook page dedicated to that tour
I'm not going to just give away my identity, especially in this place you huge faggot
What would movie night be like in the /v/ mansion?
>inb4 tlou jokes
seriously, it'd probably be cool to watch alien with you cats
Here's what I'd do:
>Go to basement
>Knock down north wall
>Build basement room
>Looks exactly like That '70s Show basement
>Go up to mansion
>Find broest of bro's
>Find us some hot grills or traps
>Get stoned, chill and fuck all day every day