Meanwhile in groznyj grad /v/
Can someone out in tselinoyarsk give me a report.
So I was thinking of passing this on to my grandson, would that be a good idea?
Man, I wish I could join the Ocelot Unit
Their berets are soo cool
Just what is it with you crazy niggers at Rassvet and taking pictures of brick walls?
I know, right? And their commander is kinda cool too.
What the fuck is wrong with Jonny, its just constant stomach pains with that guy.
Its gotta be hereditary or something.
HQ, I found raikov naked and unconscious in one of the scientists closet
what do I do comrades??
Am I seeing things
Have I gone so long without cleaning my kalashnikov?
You guys see that too, right?
The commander's kinda weird though. He keeps mumbling about some snake during breaks and insists of us wearing matching berets and meowing on his signal
Snakes dont bug me too much honestly. I mean if you see em coming they are no big deal.
Its when they sneak up on ya when you are walking through tall grass. Thats when they getchya.
>HQ? I think I see a...crocodile with a Kalashnikov. Sh-should I engage it?
W-well there's a crocodile with a gun, and I think it's looking at me a-and...
Don't be of stupid tovarishi, how could krokodil wield powerful rifle of Kalashnikov?
Da, Granin always had such funny punchlines about how latvija had no potatoes.
Why do i have to be assigned to looking after The End. All he does is sleep, are they sure he's not dead?
My personal favourite was his joke about how sovjetski soyuz is unfair place, and how he will sell his designs for something called a "Metal Gear" to the west. It's too bad that final joke was his end
>complaining about literally the easiest job out in this god forsaken jungle
Just wheel the fucker around and enjoy being indoors for most of the day.
Better than slapping your neck every ten seconds from these damn gnats and sweating your balls off.
Comrades, be honest here, swear on your babas.
Would you a Joy?
>Mfw got to meet the legendary boss
>Mfw I get to go on patrol with her
Guys i may just faint, she's my idol! What should I do?
Guys I figured it out! People always say there's a spy in this picture but no-one can ever see where he is.
the infiltrator is BEHIND THAT WALL ON THE RIGHT. How's that for thinking outside the box?
Did you see big, scary Volgin back away like a pussycat from the Boss? She must be terrifying. Treat her nice, comrade.
Hey guys I got really fucking hungry on patrol so I just cooked up the first snake I found, was pretty fat, too. Taste good, man.
Watch what you eat, comrade. You might pass out.
Or it could charge your batteries for you.
I wish i could have wall carpet instead of uncovered brick wall
Tovarishi listen to me, she is almost certainly a spy. She acts so suspicious around everyone. Also, how in hell could sokolov get a woman like her?
Cyka look like monkey, wearing a red suit
you're of believing. Is true I tell you.
You miss WHAT comrade? Get back to your post.
Woah guys have you seen the shagohod.
I got patrol duty in the hanger.
Its cool as fuck.
Cant see how it will launch a nuke all the way to America though.
>she invented hitting people
Yeah man she is gonna think you are a total puss if you come at her like that.
"oh you are so cool"
"oh you invented fighting really close to people"
"oh im a big fan"
She is gonna look right through you, man. Just saying.
I have hear stories of such man from the men in Tselinoyarsk, comrade, do be wary of nightime patrol.
How angry was he?
There's no way that Commander Ocelot works for filthy American cyki, but i am certain that Tatyana is indeed evil spy sent to take something from wonderful sovjet respublik
HQ! Me and my team were patrolling by the bridge and suddenly a hornets attacked us. Bogdan or Artyom must have accidentally disturbed it. Bogdan fell to the river, and I think I've lost him.
Who's afraid of a little thunder!
Any other scientists around? Why does Major Raikov keep grabbing our dicks? I really don't think he is qualified to be here
What are you implying comrade? Do you not enjoy such views of camaraderie? Do you not check manhood of fellow comrades in case they're american spies?
Alright I'm just gonna say this:
We've been here for months, walking among fucking snakes, bees and radioactive alligators chasing our asses and I haven't gotten a single raise. I keep hearing coronel Volgin has unlimited money, but we can't even get any decent food. I swear if I have to eat ONE more fucking ration...
If it was me, bro...I would have gotten up in some big boss strange.
Would have been like "yeah I heard about what you do. Pretty cool I guess. You know for a chick or whatever."
That would got her gravy lips saucey alright. Would have got her autograph in lady dressing all up and down my shaft if you know what I mean.
but an autograph is cool too I guess
Hey, if you losers can read this, we're having a party at this sweet mansion over at Svyatogornyj East
Bring vodka and bullets
We are running low on of both
Hey I am a scientist. I was wondering how can I get into the Shagohod hanger? It's for important science business.
>Mfw I see The End.
And they're going to make that fucking old fart fight this snakeman? how cruel!
>Special forces soldier can't cook food in the wild
Wow tovarish i didn't know that KGB was accepting babies, maybe you should be joining Americans for easier time for children.
But then get caught because traitors must be punished of course
I vaugly remember a sudden spike in baby conversation with him for like a year a few years ago.
Also the name Anya keeps coming to mind. I dont know if it was his kid, or wife or girlfriend....Ill be honest I didnt really pay attention.