You are summoned before the grand council of skeletons to justify your wanton genocide of skele-kind over all your years of playing video games
How do you plead your case /v/?
I summon my own skeleton as a surprise witness.
I killed more living than skeletons and they weren't real skeletons as they are just in vidya.
My years of bigoted genocide of skelekind is just my fleshy way of dealing with the fact that I am but a skeleman in a fleshbag's world. I need the council to help me escape and accept who I really am.
two of the funniest things i've ever read on /v/
That just reminds me of the picture of some kid touching a mirror and seeing his reflection as a velociraptor because he's otherkin.
There's nothing worse than a skeleton wanting to be meat. Calcium traitor.
Everyone knows that skeletons are naturally predisposed towards violence. They just can't help themselves. Every skeleton I destroyed was already hostile.
Except for that one skelly in divinity 2. But I can't be blamed for that. He did it to himself.
I swear it was self defense!
Skeleton prosecutor:' I have a witness here who thinks differently. Will mr waiter skeleton step forward?' Please tell us what happened mr waiter skeleton.
Waiter Skeleton: Yes i was just carrying our famous curry and i stumbled and the curry flew out of my hand accidentally hitting the defendant around when suddenly the defendant whipped me, i believe i broke all my bones.
Judge: I have heard enough! I sentence you to life in prison.
You can only choose one to appeal your case to /v/. Choose wisely.
>there are skeletons posting on /v/ RIGHT NOW
You fuckers just kept coming at me with huge ass swords and huge ass bones. What the fuck did you expect me to do, lay down at let myself get shat on?
Morte's fucking cool though, feel me?
Sleepy Simon if he's awake. Slippy if he's not.
Also, prosecution. The only times I attacked your kind was out of self defense in Skyrim and Dark Souls. I would like to add that in the former, the individual bones were not damaged, and in the latter your kin would just stand up each time I chilled next to a fire.
Not my fault that you people always attack me first. I was forced to defend myself. The media is blowing this all out of proportion by saying 'ohhh but he's just a poor defenceless skeleton and you're an adventurer, you should know better'. Defenceless my ass, you people honestly spook me and everyone else for that matter, anyone that tells you otherwise is lying in order not to appear racist. This trial has been a farce from the get go, the fact that the Skeleton Justice Warriors even managed to get me into a courtroom tells everyone who really pulls the strings in these lands.
I don't mind
>"you are found guilty"
>"unlike the laws of the fleshy world, your sentence will not be imprisonment"
>"instead, you are to be...
released" >"RELEASED FROM YOUR MEATBAG PRISON!"
>"COME, NEW-BORN SKELETON, AND JOIN YOUR BROTHERS"
>your body bursts open and your skeleton dances out
Very well i summon another witness: Skeleton Yorick, You see my witness was just playing a game of ball with his own head when the defendant asssaulted him with his whip AGAIN.
>Professor Dracula so that I may have a rock solo face off against him
>Aviators for style
What games let me play as a skeleton?
Self defense. They all attacked me first. I don't know why they have a bone to pick with me.
Anyone but fucking slippy.
Always makes me test out his basement jacuzzi.