Its over. I'm tired /v/. I am sick to death of
Portal references. The last game was released years ago, when will we stop talking about it?
The last good thing about Cracked died out a long time ago.
Because they've joined in on the feminist/SJW circlejerk which gets them boatloads of pageviews and ad revenue quick.
Remember when Cracked was about useless crap instead of about useless shit?
Because videogames are the up-and-coming media in the western world
Anime isn't touched because it's Eastern, and other media like movies is too old and has had time to mature, not to mention when television and movies were aging, feminism actually stood for something more than a hatred veiled farce of "equality"
>there are people that actually believe this
>There are people who actually deny this
Males and females have diametrically opposed interests on nearly everything short of reproducing. Go ahead, list some issues that stem from the external world and I'll explain how it's related to gender. Note that it's external and not something like this faggot said >>286032186
The worst thing about the history article is that its title used to be "5 Badass Things About Women History Books Leave Out" or something like that. It wasn't even about feminism. If you look at the comment section it's 90% people bitching at Cracked for making it into clickbait.
Just because some feminists bullied you on tumblr doesn't mean most issues are boys vs. girls. Most issues and conflicts are deeper than that, and to assume otherwise is childish.
Go ahead and list off an issue then, because it seems all you can do is misrepresent my argument. And to clarify, I don't mean gender issues in the traditional 'battle of the sexes' sense, but rather most societal issues can be traced to gynocentrism.
Butter = made from milk = squeezed from cow tits = breasts are feminine identifiers = the butter is the woman's side = patriarchy inherently oppresses women as they always land face down
MC is a woman
GladOS is a villain due to an abusive relationship
Weathley is an asshole that abandon you when shit get tough
The whole GladOS incident happened because men scientists were meanies
Symbolism that I haven't bothered to read;
These weren't even Easter Eggs is my biggest complaint with this article. It was just a bunch of random English 101 bullshit symbolism the author pulled out of their ass.
Also they insulted Bayonetta and Metroid. And contradicted themselves in the article by saying "Chells a great feminist protaganist because her gender doesn't even matter! Now here's a bunch of examples where her being a female smashes the patriarchy" (yes they non ironically used the term patriarchy)
His choice of words is retarded, but he's right in that the government should not be doing these kinds of regulations. They should be doing their actual job and creating a free market by busting up the regional ISP monopolies, forcing ISPs to actually have to compete for consumers.
Censorship of media.
The gradual loss of basic human rights.
What do any of these have to do with the fact that the some people have a penis and some have a vagina?
1. "MC is a woman!"
Chell is a woman! But what's great is shes a silent protaganist so her gender doesn't even matter, how rare is it we get a silent FEMALE protaganist? Shes so nice to have compared to aluts like Bayonetta or Lara Croft or Samus
2. "Glados smashed the patriarchy that created her"
The patriarchy of aperture scientists (they genuinely refer to them as the patriarchy, Im not hyperbolising) create Glados and create MALE personality cores to control her. The only female core is the curiosity core which acts dumb like a good female should (this is factually wrong, the logic core was also female). Here is the decade old fanart of Glados looking like a woman in BDSM I found.
3. "Glados is a result of an abusive relationship"
Cave abused and raped Caroline by forcing her into the AI. Is it no surprise that she wants to smash the patriarchy?
4."Wheatley is totally an asshat"
Wheatley is like everyones abusive boyfriend who only wants things from you and never gives back. He leaves as soon as things turn south (which is the exact opposite of what he did)
5. "The moon is a metaphor for vaginas. In fact everything is a metaphor for vaginas"
The moon is a vagina brcause the moon is associated with feminism in ancient cultures. Portals are vaginas. Cave is killed by the moon/a vagina.
That is phenomenally stupid. I hope this person slams their hand in a car door and is left unable to type on a keyboard ever again
Does Phil Fish pay a royalty to the music producers whose music he plays when he gets paid to DJ?
They addressed that. They disregarded Samus because her being female was meant to "shock" the player as a plot twist which for some reason degrades her role as a female protag
Yes, DJs have to do that.
Also, guess what, cinemas have to pay for the movies they are screening. radio stations have to pay royalities too. pretty much everything.
I'm mad. More mad than Mad Magazine. More mad than Mad Arab Abdul Alhazred. More mad than John Madden.
Not because of feminism, or because of projecting bullshit onto video games. Feminism doesn't concern me. I don't investigate it beyond Wikipedia pages, and I seem to live happier life than most of /v/ ever could. And projecting is just bullshit I've learned to deal with. But GOD FUCKING GOD IM SO MAD.
BECAUSE THOSE ARE NOT FUCKING EASTER EGGS. DO THOSE SKULLFUCKED, ALL-STAR REDARDS EVEN KNOW WHAT A GOD DAMNED SHITSUCKING SATAN HOLY MOTHER OF VIDEO GAMES AN EASTER EGG IS? LET ME GIVE YOU A CLUE: NOT A FUCKING GENDER OF MAIN CHARACTER. WE KNOW THAT. FIRST HUMAN WE SEE IN THE GAME IS MAIN CHARACTER. AND IT'S THE ONLY HUMAN WE SEE THERE. AND PLOT POINTS. GOD DAMNED PLOT POINTS. IT'S NOT AN EASTER EGG. EVERYONE KNOWS IT WITHOUT ANY RESEARCH OR EXPLORING, BECAUSE IT'S A FUCKING MANDATORY PART. RATMAN ROOMS ARE EASTER EGGS. EXILE VILIFY IS AN EASTER EGG. P-BODY IN SINGLE PLAYER MODE IS AN EASTER EGG. THOSE, ARE, NOT. I HAVEN'T BEEN SO BUTTBLASTED FOR A LONG TIME. THIS IS HOW I FEEL WHEN A DUMBFUCK MORON ASKS ME WHY HIS NEW RIG DOESN'T WORK, AND IT TURNS OUT HE DOESN'T HAVE A FUCKING SYSTEM INSTALLED. OR EVEN A HARD DRIVE. TIMES A THOUSAND. WHY PEOPLE WHO HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT ARE WRITING THIS CRAP? I HOPE SOMEONE BLACKMAILS THIS FUCKING SITE, BECAUSE IF THIS IS THE QUALITY OF CONTENT THERE, IT MAY AS WELL POST PICTURES OF TURDS.
>Right away, Portal doesn't make a big deal about the fact that you're playing as a woman. And that, oddly enough, is a big deal.
No, no it's not a big deal. Something not being a big deal is not a big deal.
Except the answer in both of those links is generally "not really". Venues sometimes have to pay a music license fee, depending on local laws, but not DJs themselves.
His entire argument about Youtube is bullshit. He needs to learn about fair use.
Well the "leaving" was in referral to abandoning his partnership with Chell as soon as he gains control of Aperture.
Him being sucked into the moon was considered symbolism of the power of the feminine moon overpowering the patriarchy (once again not kidding)
did you miss the part where i said: the very very end?
The part where he kills you is the last chapter
before that are like 2-3 chapters where he turns from bumbling idiot to evil bumbling idiot with addiction problems
Now, the recordings of Cave Johnson reveal that Moon dust is responsible for the liquid goo that you can zap portals onto throughout the game. Initially this just seems like general backstory, but as Cave's ranting progresses, it's revealed that life finally handed him some lemons he couldn't blow up -- the Moon dust was poisoning him. The patriarch of Aperture choked to death on symbolic femininity, which we believe is called irony.
But then the payoff/punchline comes at the conclusion of Portal 2. At the end of your fight against Wheatley, it looks like all is lost because there are no surfaces to hit with a portal. But then the ceiling caves in, you see the night sky, and bam: Your only option is to take a leap of faith and shoot a portal onto the goddamn Moon itself.
The scene is staged to seem implausible -- the fact that it works is surprising, even though you're the schmuck who tried it in the first place. You pray to the lunar goddess, and she answers. GLaDOS, a woman, is put back in charge of the facility, and she saves your life, while Wheatley is left to his fate. The End.
So what you have is a game that puts the player into the body of a woman, placed in a powerless position in which you are tormented by another woman before finding out both of you are products of a system created by some powerful (and ridiculous) males. You have to overcome abusive father figures and male companions to ultimately take control of your own life.
Michael Vincent Bramley writes comics like the successfully funded Kickstarter project 'Sherbet', which is about a lesbian version of Sherlock Holmes from the future who solves paranormal mysteries.
Why do I even go on Cracked anymore? Some of the articles that come out are interesting, but there's always one that comes out that reminds me of how fucked the site is now.
I love how that bullshit analysis of Portal 2 is like a microcosm of the entire feminist ideology: women only do bad things because they were hurt or used by the evil menz, women can never do wrong.
What about "rat man" and how he helps Chell throughout the series? I could write forever about that guy. Think of it this way, he not only aids her and thinks of her as their only hope, but is looked down upon by his superiors for doubting the project in the first place. His nickname even carries an air of insignificance and weakness. He's thought of as crazy (which, yeah.. he is technically) and yet is the only one to survive (other than Chell). This could be seen as how we negatively view men who support feminism. They're weak. They're insane. They should obey what other men say. Yet in the end Chell would be dead if it weren't his aiding her (read the portal comics, they're beautiful). However the reality is that he was intelligent and chose someone with the tenacity to overcome GLaDOS without a thought to the test subject's gender. Man, he deserves respect. Personally, I think this reflects how feminism is nothing without the respect of the other sex. You can't effectively fight for equality if you exclude one gender. Sorry y'all, rant over. Just friggin love the rat man.
Okay apparently I'm retarded and didn't read the article properly. They don't say Wheatley leaves you. They jusy compare him to another abusive relationship where you try to leave HIM and he turns violent and blames you for everything.
The moon thing was still there though.
That's called regulation. The free market (kind of) doesn't exist. You either regulate via breaking monopolies or you don't.
Also the internet should be treated like other utilities. Ted Cruz is just speaking for his Comcast donors.
okay, see, i'm a girl and i'm a feminist, but this just isn't right. i love portal 2 and i appreciate the fact that chell being a girl isn't a big deal in the game and that she's not there just to be a pair of boobs or a love interest or whatever. that's good. that's what girls need.
however, what girls (and boys) do NOT need is the message that boys are evil and ruin girls' lives. that doesn't help anything, and it's certainly not feminism. feminism is bringing girls up, not putting boys down, and yes, you can do one without doing the other. men and women are both hurt by sexism, because sexism isn't a problem caused by individuals. it's not about men being the bad guys and women being the victims. it's about sexism being the bad guy and all of us being victims. men can be sexist and women can be sexist, and men can be hurt by sexism and women can be hurt by sexism. and the sooner we start seeing it that way, the better.
>They jusy compare him to another abusive relationship where you try to leave HIM and he turns violent and blames you for everything
That's actually a good comparison. Shame that they have to pack it up as femnazi nonsense. Same shit happens on both sides.
He's right in observations he's making, but his greater point is that this is somehow wrong
But then again, the guy is an admitted collectivist in the vein of Stalin, so who's surprised that he hates the very concept of competition?
The white gel, when sprayed on a surface, allows for the creation of portals. Can't you see? Since portals are vaginas, it basically means that if we spray our white goo all over women they'll open their vaginas for us.
I really hate it when people look at pre-existing fiction and look for things that don't meet with the societal standards of today.
>hey, this thing in the distant past happened! IT PROVES MEN ARE BAD
>hey, this videogame from several years ago has a thing in it!
FEMINISM IS THE LIGHT, ALL HAIL FEMIN'ALLAH
>a male character is stereotyped as a moron and a female character is given easy, absolute power over said stereotyped male idiot
PROOF THAT MEN ARE THE ABSOLUTE WORST, FUCK GENDER STEREOTYPES UNLESS IT MAKES WOMEN LOOK GOOD
All the top comments are like this, if the cracked team ever read them maybe they would stop.
He's a god damn core (A.I.) designed to retard the thought process of something perceived as too smart for its own good, what the fuck did people expect it to do? Jump into a body ala Peabody/Atlas (which as far as I can recall, it would have no way to know this) and run keep running into a wall because its thought processes lead it to believe the solution to the test had something to do with it?
>gordon freeman is silent
I have no words to say about this so im just going to be quiet an type...................................................................................
>falling for screencap bait
Y'all niggas know he wrote that post hoping you would.
>Still no Space Sim set in the Treasure Planet universe
I just want to explore space as a cute catgrill
Rising gas prices > erections rise > rising gas prices are a product of the patriarchy
Inner city poverty > inside things is poor > penis is an external organ, vagina is internal > vagina is poor > inner city poverty is a product of the patriarchy
Theology vs Atheism > Theology has a god, atheism is lack of belief in a god > men have a penis, women lack a penis > penis = god > Theology vs Atheism is men vs women > the conflict is a product of the patriarchy