On March 17, 2000, fifteen years ago today, a child destined to change the world forever was born to a virgin.
To commemorate Sonichu's 15th anniversary, I will be dumping the entire series, one issue a day (except this weekend, when I'll be too busy with family bullshit. I'll get right back on it afterwards, though). Remember to post if you're reading, since samefagging doesn't bump threads. And now, let's ZAP TO THE EXTREME!
DISCLAIMER: Sonic and Pokemon are video games. Sonichu is a video game-themed fanwork, and as such this thread qualifies as secondary discussion.
I like how there's a typo in the very first sentence. Lets you know what quality to expect right off the bat.
"His story." Ha ha ha.
You're doing gods work anon. Let's get this autistic train rolling.
Male Raichus have pointed tails, while female Raichus have blunt tips.
When Chris was told about this, rather than take the easy solution and say he drew this before Pokemon had visual gender differences, he hastily edited the page then insisted it was always like that.
Kel is the first of many characters that Chris plays up to be important only for us to never see again.
The Perfect Chaos Monster looks like he's having a good time in the fourth panel.
Rosechus are not Raichus. Rosechus are their own special Pokemon species that are always female.
It took me forever to realize this was one big splash page with Sonichu on top and Super Sonic on the bottom. I always thought it was two separate panels.
Poor Sonichu. He worked so hard fighting Perfect Chaos and the faceless white crowd only cheers for Sonic.
Sonichu enjoys chillin', the scenery around him, and popular music.
Chris takes great lengths to make sure his characters are properly fleshed out.
Rosechu likes shopping and cooking.
Because she's a woman.
Note Bubbles' tan arms here. In later appearances Chris will draw her with blue arms instead.
This reminds me of something.
Despite being introduced in advance, only one character on this page will be important throughout the series.
Here's a hint: It's not Flame the Sunbird.
>with an accidental dose of cherry cola
>be newfag to Chris
>someone tells me to read this horrible new Sonichu comic
>I don't see the big deal. It was clearly drawn by a little kid. I think it's kinda cu...wait...
>HOLY SHIT FUCK OH GOD NO
I'm starving to death, but more importantly, I FEEL SO LONESOME!
ITS FINALLY HAPPENING YOU GUYS!
THE PROTESTS WORKED!
none of it is humorous
I cant help but feel sorrow looking at this grown man's efforts.
So we're clear here: Sonichu and Rosechu know absolutely fucking nothing about each other. Their personal tastes, where they're from, their political/religious views, whether or not they're secretly a serial killer...they're the opposite sex and the same species. That's fucking it. And that's enough for both of them to instantly fall in love and enter a relationship that will not once have even the slightest speed bump.
I love this comic here because it shows what Chris thinks romance should be like.
As often as birds tweet, you are my lovely heartsweet!
I wonder if they'll ever reference it someday.
It's a one in a million chance, but hey, you never know.
>MFW even Chris Chan is not Anthony Burch
No, no, Sonichu is the Pikachu changed into Sonic form by Chaos Emerald magic. Sonic himself is still around, and he'll appear in the next issue.
Better question, what's up with Rosechu's mouth?
Real comics have ads, so Sonichu must have ads too.
I just now noticed Chris spelled "Naitsirhc" wrong here. And since it's just "Christian" backwards, he's spelled his own name wrong. And that won't be the last time in the comic it happens either.
Sonichu needs to stop Rosechu from shopping too much. Because she's a woman.
Also, remember David the Dragonite from earlier? Well he shows up briefly on this page, and we can see he's smaller than Rosechu. So when Rosechu said David was too big for her, yeah she totally meant his dick.
Something I just realized.
Sonichu is a fusion of the actual Sonic and a random pikachu. But Sonichu usually refers to itself in terms of being a pokemon, and never really mentions being partially Sonic the hedgehog. So does this mean that in this universe not only does Sonic as an individual not exist, but the creature he became doesn't even have his memories or consciousness?
In the Sonichu universe, Sonic is dead. He is totally gone. His existence at the start implies that the rest of the Sonic universe exists here, though, so what of his friends? One day Sonic went out to fight a monster, and never returned. Did they have a funeral? Are they still waiting for his return? Or... Do they know what happened?
>tfw this is an allegory for the Chandlers' hoarding problem
Rosechu (Barb) keeps buying shit she doesn't need while Sonichu (Bob) is helpless to stop her.
Sonichu is fucking boring.
I prefer chris related stuff
Sonic appears in the next issue ya dummy.
I love this page because it makes it clear the whole comic is improvised. Chris wanted each number to have its own panel, then once he realized he was running out of space he jammed the rest in at the end.
I could use my Raikou to fight you, but...nah.
Look at Kel's face goddamn.
This is the closest Comic Chris ever comes to looking like the real thing.
In the remastered comic, the guy who did it kept the face.
That was some funny shit.
Even Sonichu knows Chris' Love Quest is doomed to fail.
What I wouldn't give for him to do the rest of the series.
A chilling glimpse into the future.
Son of a bitch I never saw that. Nice find.
Rosechu = Boyfriend-free girl
Sonichu = Sweetheart-stealing JERK
Cherry Colachu = Chris
Did he really have a fake fanbase of people pretending to be his fans on a daily basis on irc?
It's just so surreal, I recently read about him and it was mind-blowing, almost sounded like fucking Truman Show.
>Chris was still a student at PVCC when he drew this
>he printed out a comic of himself murdering the dean and put it all over the campus
It's pretty amazing they let him come back.
The Truman Show-y bits of Chris' life have died down in recent years. Although there was his date with Catie a few months ago. The audio is...interesting.
I know Barb's a horrible parent and all, but the thought of her getting this as a Mother's Day present just depresses the fuck out of me.
Fun fact: Chris-Chan has never made a Tails-like character despite copying everyone else.
I love how Naitsirhc only has red hair because of FR/LG saying Giovanni's son has red hair, and then ignores HG/SS confirming Giovanni's son is Silver because he'd rather have Naitsirch.
I think that idea is cute even if the ads are narcissistic.
I want more Sonichu since it's Chris stuff from Chris' perspective and a glimpse into his reality
Remember he hit Mary Lee Walsh because Sonichu told him to.
Chris actually made an Eevee/Tails fusion named Evails. During the early pre-comic years he was probably going to be Sonichu's sidekick, but he never showed up in the comic.
I just noticed that MLW has broken hearts in her hands
I found this fan comic a while back, it's pretty good
You want a girlfriend? You got it, best friend!
The Sub-Episodes are (very, VERY) loosely based on real events, and set in real life (or at least Chris' idea of it) instead of CWCville.
This one's about him getting banned from Fashion Square Mall by a niggo.
I love how, despite being a villainous strawman, Chris has the Jerkhief call Chris a solicitor, meaning Chris was aware, at least on some level, of the actual reason he was banned.
Naturally, he doesn't care.
>mfw realizing the sadness that is Chris's existence
>I still have not attracted a boyfriend-free girl!
>This love quest makes me suffer some frustration
I'm familiar with Chris's language quirks, but this is like a badly translated manga.
I hope you like this transformation sequence. You're going to see it a lot.
I wish I could show the real Jerkhief these comics.
It would probably hurt his feelings.
I'm still not sure if this last panel is just Chris being a bad artist or deliberately making the Jerkhief as fat and black as possible.
Chris has claimed he's going to redraw the last three issues to remove the troll influence. But there's a big difference between what Chris says he'll do and what he'll actually do. AH'M WORKIN ON IT!
I love seeing comics like this that turn Chris's fucked up world into a serious seeming work.
Eventually, years from now, Sonichu and it's story could be considered an actual series and not just the work of an autistic man child
That gun looks a lot like...something else.
Reminder that Chris believes he can perform the Curse-ye-ha-me-ha in real life and has done it in public.
Because he's horrible at facial and vocal recognition. He had to stare into a mirror for hours on end just to remember what his own face looked like.
I love how Chris always punishes the villains in the most disproportionate way possible.
Try to stop me from harassing women at the mall? YOU WILL NEVER SEE YOUR FAMILY AGAIN.
Well, that's the end of Issue 0.
I guess I'm done storytiming for today...
...OR AM I?
Fuck it, Sonichu Day comes but once a year. I'm feeling generous, so I'll dump two issues tonight. You're only getting one the other days, though.
>handcuffing me on 9/11/2004
I can't believe that's not even the best part of the monologue.
You have 10 seconds to name a better title than "DARKNESS, SPEED, & LIGHTNING! (WITH AN ACCIDENTAL DOSE OF CHERRY COLA)"
>spill cherry cola on important DNA sample
Bill the Scientist is a master of professionalism.
Unfortunately, Vivian closed
hisYouTube account years ago. Most of the audiobooks were mirrored, but not all of them.
On Barb's 70th birthday, Chris put Sonichu on her birthday cake. They know about it. Or knew, in Bob's case.
As you might have guessed, this is just the origin of Mewtwo in the first Pokemon movie.
HOLD UP HOLD UP!!!
Chris says he's going to the mall to continue his love quest, but in the first panel the mall is right behind him. Why the hell did he get in the car to go to the mall after he passed it???
Naitsirhc you racist, so what if he's black?
That's the (fictional) CWCville Mall. Chris is going to the (real) Fashion Square Mall.
I always thought Chris' racism was from him being raised on television and his overall ignorance to other races. It was never a superiority thing.
People shouldn't think too complex about him, the reason he does says the things is because he's an idiot, plain an simple.
The red and black chemicals in the cherry cola overrode the yellow and brown pigment in the Sonichu DNA! SCIENCE!
Years later, Chris would declare that Sonichu was allergic to pickles, but Niggachu doesn't have this allergy because they only did a "quick scan." In other words, Black Sonichu doesn't have all of Sonichu's DNA, but he does have bits and pieces of cherry cola DNA, like some kind of retarded Jurassic Park.
It's too soon, but someone please post the honeymoon page
>Robotnik looked up Sonichu's Pokemon stats on the Internet
If this was being done by someone that's not Chris, it would be a god-tier parody.
Also Giovanni has no torso.
I don't think 200 RPM is very good.
More importantly, it only took two issues for Chris to put a naked woman in his children's comic.
Chris, being raised as a Christian in the South, naturally knows very little about science.
For example, in the comic, he makes a gay vaccine using his own blood. If you know anything about how vaccines are made, you're already laughing your ass off.
These stats will not come into play at all.
is it ever explained why
1. Sonichu refers to Chris as his father despite having been created by forces unrelated to Chris
2. Sonichu is apparently a Pokemon but does not behave as one
3. Chris has the ability to transform into a Sonichu
Traced from Sonic Adventure 1.
I'm talking about at the bottom of the page you double nigger.
But 200 km/h still isn't good considering Sonic can go at Mach 1.
I always found it strange that outside of sonic, perfect chaos and Eggman, no other sonic characters appear in Sonichu other than the Knuckles reference through Punchy.
It would make sense if Chris was such an autist his brain only registered a more classic idea of sonic, but perfect chaos came from the adventure series, which disproves it.
1. Chris, the real person, created Sonichu, the character, and Sonichu is aware of that. It's like Animal Man and Grant Morrison, but stupid.
2. Meowth, Mewtwo, Lugia, Slowking, Lucario, and a dickload of other Pokemon can talk, so Sonichu can too. As for the other non-Pokemon-like behaviors, Chris is an idiot.
3. Cherokee magic.
Sonic's house is larger than Pallet Town.
Amy shows up at the end of this issue. And it's because Sonic is the only one Chris really gives a shit about because Sonic was his childhood hero alongside the American Rabbit.
Lying in a field staring at the sky for hours is something couples do, right?
Is Sonichu really big or is Rosechu really small? You decide!
>mfw i realize cwc drew himself far, far skinnier than he really is
Sonic doesn't want to go home, but there's no explanation as to why. There's never a reason for any of the cast to do anything, they just follow whatever instructions the story demands.
In good writing, the characters move the plot. In bad writing, the plot moves the characters.
Yet another pointless countdown. This is the last one, don't worry.
I don't think his father was 100% racist himself either, he told the weens that after they kept on calling the house going JULAAY to scare them off.
Bob probably had the typical ignorance that comes with every redneck southerner, but he actually wanted to learn about the world. According to troll interactions, he was actually a pleasant old guy. He wasn't perfect, but Bob was the only real authoritative figure Chris ever had in his life.
Rest in piece, Internet Lumberjack ;_;7
Sonichu and Sonic recover after a vigorous session of lovemaking.
>Good thing I made like a cat to get that dust out of my eyes!
But during the Stone Age...
You know in Chris' mind Sonichu and Sonic meeting was the most totally awesome crossover ever.
While to everyone else it's just the rip-off meeting what he ripped off.
Someone sent him a picture of Sonichu with yellow arms. He went "Fuck You Hell No!" and then deleted it.
Imagine if every comic was like this. Don't actually show anything happening, just number all the dialogue so we know what order to read it in.
Also note that Sonichu apparently touched fire.
>Rosechu says she was male because of the tail
>She brushes off being gay as "something only humans worry about"
Man it was pushing all the right buttons for me at first then just brushed it aside like it was nothing.
Chris has tried using his custom Pokemon cards in tournaments.
All of their effects are either ridiculously overpowered or make no sense, like a card that lets you instantly kill your opponent's Pokemon if he likes Harry Potter.
Considering Barb's hoarding has rendered the kitchen unusable, stew probably WAS made in the microwave. I say "was" because now the hoard won't even let you do that.
Unless school's a bitch, I'll do it tomorrow, don't worry. You think after me posting it every week people wouldn't be looking forward to seeing it again.
Look at how far apart those bars are. Rosechu could slide through them. But she doesn't try to escape. Because she's a woman.
>proud supporter of autism awareness
Sonichu is autism awareness-raising in its purest form.
>That has to be the stupidest thing I've drawn in my life!
Oh, 2005 Chris. You still have so much life ahead of you.
It sure was nice of Robotnik to leave a medallion with his face lying around.
I like to believe that since Chris wears a Sonichu medallion because he loves Sonichu so much Robotnik wears a medallion of himself.
Breaking bread is a southern expression. It's a particularly common misconception on here that Chris is making an "original" mannerism or that it's a misconstrued metaphor (I.E people have said he meant to say baking bread).
You can't shatter or shock this glass.
Forgot the image because I'm a big dumbass.
For this page, the role of Dr. Ivo Robotnik will be played by Andross.
Why yes, of course. It's Robotnik who lacks imagination. Yes, him. Not anybody else.
Remember the glass you can't break?
They broke it.
>doesn't want david cause hes to big for her
>you can have him kel
>implied bestiality with dragonite
>implied kel can take massive 3 foot dragonite penis
everytime my sides in orbit
Metal Sonichu was knocked so hard he rolled up a mountain, was propelled into outer space, and landed on the moon!
No, he hasn't. To make up for it, here's the video he made for Sonichu's 10th anniversary.
Next hearing's in April.
Despite this foreshadowing, we will never see Metal Sonichu again.