[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / biz / c / cgl / ck / cm / co / d / diy / e / fa / fit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mu / n / news / o / out / p / po / pol / qa / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y] [Home]
4chanarchives logo
>playing vidya at a friends house
Images are sometimes not shown due to bandwidth/network issues. Refreshing the page usually helps.

You are currently reading a thread in /v/ - Video Games

Thread replies: 631
Thread images: 210
File: 1440318618324.jpg (432 KB, 1000x750) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
432 KB, 1000x750
>playing vidya at a friends house
>his parents start fighting
File: 1441827932381.png (454 KB, 697x360) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
454 KB, 697x360
>he starts screaming and yelling at his parents in front of you

never went to his house again.
File: 1441786470375.gif (664 KB, 253x200) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
664 KB, 253x200
>go to friends house
>play vidya
>his dad pops-up
>forces me to eat a banana
>playing vidya with a friend
>he loses
>"UHHHHHH let's play something else =("
File: 1417974017085.jpg (36 KB, 396x388) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
36 KB, 396x388
>playing gta 3 while my dad chokes my mom
>hear her scream me and brother's name
haha good times
>People allowing their houses to get that dark in a sunny day like that

File: 1434666269872.gif (2 MB, 750x750) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
2 MB, 750x750
>want to go play at friend house because my parents are fighting
>realized I have no friends
how much is a 9mm glock?
>beat friend at smash bros on n64

>retire champion

>try again!!!!

>go home a champion
>Go to friend's house.
>Say nigger
>Made to watch all of ROOTS.
>Really enjoy it but still say nigger a lot when nobody who's easily offended is within earshot.
>Sleep over one night.
>Get offered breakfast.
>It's some super health bullshit with the most disgusting soy crap you can imagine, and a plate full of carrots.
>Get told I have to eat everything or I can't play.
>Tell them they can't make me eat their food.
>The mom slaps me.
>She still wonders why I never visited again after 10 years.
maybe you should've ate her food you ungrateful nigger
what a coward pussy
kill your brother and then yourself
>playing vidya at your friend's along with his bro
>their dad comes home
> he starts yelling at the underarchieving bro
> he says video games rot brains
> they start arguing
>almost throwing punches
> non stop yelling
>your friend cowers
> you keep doing shine dair shine dair shine dair and win every game
You need some cultural enrichment you little shit
File: 1386426679304.png (81 KB, 245x247) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
81 KB, 245x247
>go to some losers house to play shit games
>only there for his hot stepmom
>her mom walks nude inside the house
File: 1432443645746.png (191 KB, 389x469) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
191 KB, 389x469
>playing on the gameboy in the car beside an open window
>urge to throw it outside
has this really happened anon?
It's not like I was even being rude about it. I have no trouble admitting to the actual dumb and rude shit I did as a 10 year old, but I was just a meek little kid that tried to explain I don't normally eat breakfast and I wasn't hungry so they didn't need to make me anything - obviously covering up the fact I really really hated carrots at the time and they made me barf once so I tried to avoid that - but then she straight up slaps me for stating she can't make a kid eat her food.
I'm still incredibly bitter about that.
pure, unbridled autism :o)
>intrusive thoughts
Learn to relax, fag.
File: 4848473565.jpg (192 KB, 1019x646) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
192 KB, 1019x646
>playing vidya games at friend's house
>friend's Dad walks in
File: 1443791550720.jpg (207 KB, 799x916) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
207 KB, 799x916
>Pops sleeping in recliner. Empty beer cans surround him.
>Throw Zelda LTTP in the SNES.
>Almost like slow-mo, i look at the screen and switch input and immediately get a half full can of Budweiser to the head, followed by some insults and grunts

I can barely imagine the amount of times he beat my ma while we were babysat away from home.
>go to friend's house
>he's barefoot
File: jimmy.jpg (79 KB, 960x960) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
79 KB, 960x960
You guys all sound like such losers lol
>"Hey, you want a soda?"
>friend starts walking to the pantry instead of the fridge

I hate those fucking families that don't keep their soda cold. It's usually alcoholics for their icy meme drinks
File: 1417968075674.jpg (56 KB, 700x565) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
56 KB, 700x565
I should probably just kill myself since my brother actually did something while I was driving off that ramp in the game
>I hate those fucking families that don't keep their soda cold
I often visit a friend who still fucking does that.
I'll often just grab a pop and put it in his fridge for a while before drinking it.

Anon babe.
Its time to let it go.
The path of happiness awaits you
File: image.jpg (88 KB, 937x522) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
88 KB, 937x522
This is the worst offender. Fucking gross. I know it's your own house but have some decency when you have company over.
>super shy as a little boy cause I stuttered
>cute girl down the street has a N64
>watching her play Zelda OoT
>way older brother comes home
>their parents divorce and the girl leaves with the mom
>become the brother's new punching bag
>Go to friend's house.
>He's not wearing a cocksock.
File: concerned jojo.png (534 KB, 598x512) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
concerned jojo.png
534 KB, 598x512
>go to friend's house
>it ain't me starts playing
>being a shitty guest
He's not going to start competing with the classy fedora and trench coat you wear over.
File: Beej upset.png (221 KB, 571x312) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
Beej upset.png
221 KB, 571x312
>wearing shoes indoors
Go to friend's house
>his mom is barefoot
>Visit house of new friend for the first time
>It smells
You wear socks indoors. Being barefoot is as barbaric as being in just boxers as a friend comes over. You just don't do that. It's incosiderate and people don't want to see your sweaty feet.
It's not like I'll put my feet in front of your face, man. It doesn't matter.
I can't believe there are pussies that just do nothing when shit like this happens . When my dad came home drunk I imobilized him and told him if he doesen't cut his shit out I'll rip his head off. We haven't really talked since besides saying g'day to eachother cuz mom insists on it but he's a pos and I still have a spine so worth.
this didn't happen
>go to friends house
>his parents start fighting
>they end up making out
>go to friends house a lot when younger
>his mom is either topless w/ panties or bottomless w/ a loose shirt
>friend acts like its nothing, apparently its just how she is at home

how is that normal at all?
yea dude you should of helped your dad choke your mom faggot
>playing video games with friend
>hear the headboard start banging in the other room
>When my dad came home drunk I imobilized him and told him if he doesen't cut his shit out I'll rip his head off
Sure you did, sport. I doubt your little kid muscles can overpower a grown man.
Hey anons, have i got a story, or more of confession for you guys.
>Be 17 year old
>Go over to friends house to play some fucking D&D
>His dad is dead, mother never home, she sleeps with lots of guys i hear.
>Only person he has is his little sister who is around 8 or 9 years old, she's super sweet and doesn't like to be left alone so she latches onto anyone she can find.
>Spergy friend brought some alchohol and we start getting drunk as the night goes on.
>2 friends leave already, her brother goes to the restroom leaving me and his sister on his couch
>Pretty shitfaced by that point
>Don't really remember much, think I put her on my lap
>I do remember sticking my hand down her pants and her squirming a bit
>Wake up with her on the opposite end of the couch
>She never told anyone, don't think she really knew what was going on
>This was 3 years ago
File: 1391461876771.gif (774 KB, 263x242) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
774 KB, 263x242
>tfw don't let anyone to my house ever even when i was younger because im afraid of this
>why can't you be more like anon

showed those fuckers in the end though
Even if that's normal, it isn't when you have guests.
>at friends house playing Dance dance revolution
>sleep over
>haven't masturbated in a day
>tell friends brb and run to second floor into the bathroom
>lay on bathroom floor
>try jacking off
>finally after like 25 min I cum
>leave bathroom
>all friends are outside watching videos on YouTube on laptop
>"Geez Anon... You were kinda in there for a long time...."
>"Haha yeah it was emergency"
This is why I feel I shouldn't have a cat. I can deal with my bleak and depressing apartment, in fact I thrive in it. But I wouldn't force another living thing to put up with it.
>I don't have the mental capacity to imagine a family with different people and personalities than my own so anything divergent is immediately illogical.
Shut up.
Growing up in shit families really sucks. I had to prevent my mom from committing suicide four times growing up.
She succeeded a few months ago because she moved back to where we lived a decade ago and realized we moved away from there for a goddamn reason.
>go to friends house
>he burns his hands making a cupnoodle
>his mom cusses him out as she drives me home
she knows what you did
>got beat up by older kids coming home from school
>come home
>get bottle thrown at me for getting beat up

And that is when I started learning to defend myself, I teach martial arts now, its a shame because some of the kids really shit me off.

Fuck you Marty
File: 1414267939526.jpg (7 KB, 255x220) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
7 KB, 255x220
>Friends always wanted to come over
>Guys my house isn't that clean, I've got animals and other stuff and it's just really dirty
>"Nah it's cool my house is probably worse"

>sweaty feet
Things that never happened
>playing vidya at a friends house
>there's like 5 other friends over too
>we start joking malefriend fucking femalefriend
>femalefriend's sister walks in
>she looks right at me
>"please stop telling him to fuck my sister"
>immediately feel bad for the rest of the night
>driving car on freeway
>sudden urge to swerve
>people don't want to see your sweaty feet.

Speak for yourself nerd

what the fuck dude
You don't need friends like that
>not just saying PROVE IT
grow a pair
You're overthinking an animal's emotions dude.
File: 1339031230647.jpg (407 KB, 1936x2592) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
407 KB, 1936x2592
>over at friends house
>his mom's super nice to you
>treats her own son like shit
lol we were in like 3rd grade
>always invited people over to come to my house
>most of the time they couldn't
>when they did come over, there was always some sort of argument going on
>fast forward to today
>invite some new friends over
>only to play console ports on PC
>driving on freeway
>sudden urge to jerk the wheel back and forth like a kid pretending to drive
>actually do it
>scare myself so bad I never feel the urge again
>mfw I was once like that

Sup flyover
> They're arguing about dad fucking the mailman regularly and mom is screaming for a divorce
File: 1381211932522.gif (904 KB, 240x228) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
904 KB, 240x228
>that fag who only had sports/licensed games
very normal if areas of severe poverty
W-what did he do to his little sister?
I'm Canadian.
MailMAN or mail lady?

I never knew this. Is it an American thing?
That's way worse when a friend is over at your house and your parents start fighting.
>implying this ever happened
You sure have grown in the past 2years

>bring friend over
>parents start fighting over trivial bullshit
>decide to go outside and play in the woods for like 4 hours
>come back with friend to relax
>they're still arguing
haha ure'e ottistm!

It worked out okay because my smelly house friend's family had a bunch of camping gear so we would do sleepovers in their back yard with a TV and consoles in a big ass tent. We got to make as much noise as we wanted all night while playing video games in super comfy sleeping bags. Good times.
No. Everyone in this thread made up their own feet etiquette and they feel better about themselves by saying other ways are rude.
>go to friends house
>he has a Xbox 360
File: thewarp.jpg (75 KB, 235x241) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
75 KB, 235x241
All my friends were like that.

>mfw I was the weird one only having final fantasy, resident evil and silent hill games
I had a cat before and it got to the point where it stopped eating and became anorexic. I can't do it again

>back in 90's
>@friends house
>playing FF7
>friends mom was angry for some reason
>yelling and mad went on good 10 min
>she threathens to cut off power to make us stop playing
>friend tries to negotiate until we save the game
>she constantly ask when we gonna stop
>can't find save point in north crater in FF7, it's at the end, but we were there first time
>minutes pass
>mad intensifies
>screaming intensifies
>whole room went dark
>that weird silence for few seconds

shit was intense.
Brad pls
File: 1443912224466.gif (781 KB, 235x277) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
781 KB, 235x277
>sleepover at friend's house when we were all 15
>there's like 5 of us in his huge room
>TV for video games
>wooden tabletop for warhammer 40k
>his mom happily brings us food
>blankets, pillows, video games, and snacks everywhere
>awake until our eyes won't stay open playing max payne, gta 3, fusion frenzy, eating junk food, and painting necrons
>wake up, do it again
>pretty much did this entire summer vacation

good times
>friends with rail-thin, skinny guy
>his mom loves cooking but he'll rarely eat more than a bite
>serves me 3 or 5 course meals every time I come over
>eat it all like the fat bitch I am
>still fat

Fuck you, video games.
haha wow. this literally just happened to me a few weeks ago.

>co-worked asked if I wanted to hang out after work at his place
>hung out many times but mostly at some other persons place
>at first glance, their apartment looks nice
>sit down on their couch
>suddenly smell something odd
>sit there ignoring the smell
>"hey anon! look at my cats!"
>realize the smell is the smell of cat piss.
>make some excuse and i sit over on their recliner instead
>it smells even worse

>playing with my friend at my house alone, it's dark cause it's raining heavily
>"hey do you remember that time we sucked each other's dicks"
File: 1383262212697.jpg (40 KB, 267x280) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
40 KB, 267x280
>that kid who hated you for no reason
but seriously, I don't know if movies are the most reliable source on American culture, but I always see them use their shoes inside their house
File: average canadian.png (206 KB, 362x836) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
average canadian.png
206 KB, 362x836
Just as bad
File: 1444139916506.png (870 KB, 500x761) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
870 KB, 500x761
>Go to friend's house for the very first time.
>His mom is a complete milf.
>Avoid trying to go to his house because you don't want to spill spaghetti and because you have to look your best.
>Lie about getting excellent grades when friend's mom asks how you do in school.

I had a friend like that except with his two little brothers. They only ever got along when I was over, otherwise he tells me all kinds of horror stories about the shit they did to eachother.
YEah, americans tend to do that. But doing that is fucking bullshit. You can wear flipflops, crocks, sandals, be barefoot, w/e. But don't fucking wear outside shows to walk inside your house. Come the fuck on.
File: 1444606179771.jpg (275 KB, 1180x900) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
275 KB, 1180x900
>tfw you liked making enemies more than friends
Sometimes guests keep shoes on. No one wears shoes when they're living there.

People are making a big deal about omg le smelly disgusting feet! in their own home even though sandals fucking exist.
A glimpse into the fantasies of the fedora.
>that kid who had a PS3
>we just watched ricky bobby all night because nogaems
>driving on freeway
>become self aware about how important it is to stay in between the lines in my lane
>paranoid that I'll begin to drift
>watching Little Bear with your sister on couch
>hearing parents fighting
>you and sister are just trying to ignore it watch TV
>hear things become violent
>hear Mom shout "ANON!!!!!"
>heart jumps out of chest and run over
>Dad has blood tripping on his face from being scratched from Mom
>They both start blaming each other and making excuses as to why the violence was justified to their 8 year old son

Some kid was doing that behind me the other day, just swerving around like a retard at 20mph.
You're still a flyover
File: 1444968122464.png (184 KB, 800x850) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
184 KB, 800x850
>mom and dad start fighting
>slink off to the living room to play vidya
>when you become enemies with a fucking porn artist
yeah, grandma swerves are fun
huh, it's quite the contrary here, guests are supposed to take their shoes off so that their shoes won't dirty the floor
>everyone else hated that kid but liked you
>goddamn reason

Was the house haunted with a ghost that was possessing her to commit suicide? Did the house remind her of a dead family member that completely devastated her life?

What's the reason anon?
story time
>lie about getting excellent grades
That's why you never got in her pants. You don't want her to look up to you has what her son should be
File: Grandpa.jpg (12 KB, 274x261) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
12 KB, 274x261
>be about 10 years old
>go to friend's house to play vidya
>stay up all night playing Link's Awakening on a Super Gameboy
>friend explains he needs to take a piss
>friend gets up and pisses in the corner of the room and laughs the entire time
>slept in the living room immediately after
>never went to his house again
>mom and dad literally never fought
>I'm still a failure
Literally everyone I have ever known has asked me to take my shoes off at the door. A lot of homes in America have a small area by the front door that has a different flooring from the rest of the house (tile or linoleum) so carpets or wood don't get dirty.
That's like my entire life
File: 1441677730575.jpg (50 KB, 423x720) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
50 KB, 423x720
>mom uses a stuffed tiger's tail to illustrate how huge your dads cock is
I never understood this.
I understand most of the silly urges, but never this.
What's up With this meme. Might as well Not wear your outside clothes on inside Since they're just as dirty. Unless you're jumping in to every puddle and dancing in dog shit
>Play vidya at friend's house
>Remember that I don't have a friend
But then who was house?
Like what?
It's probably just easier for everyone when they film shit. Take Seinfeld for example, people are literally walking in and out of Jerry's apartment constantly. Now imagine if everyone had to take a few seconds to put their shoes back on and off again, all while seeing their distracting white socks in the picture.
You should have smacked the bitch back.
>friend never locks his back door
>just walk into his house while he's gone to play with his vidya
there's so much wrong with what was going on
>His parents treat him like shit and he just sits there and takes it
He lived on Elm Street.
White people, anon. White people
File: 1443092070766.png (101 KB, 625x346) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
101 KB, 625x346
>be 10
>grab friend's mom's butt
Wow anon, what's it feel like being an outlier?
How big was it?
>freshman year of highschool
>5'10" tall, 120 lbs
>visibly underweight but my doctor says I'm fine
>at my friends house
>his dad keeps trying to make me eat snacks, gives me seconds at dinner, and if we eat out he pays for my food

It's like he thought I didn't eat at home or something.
File: nodding pappos.gif (1 MB, 499x499) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
nodding pappos.gif
1 MB, 499x499
File: ok then.gif (959 KB, 480x270) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
ok then.gif
959 KB, 480x270
>friend comes over to my house to play vidya
>my parents start fighting
Did he ever walk in on you?
File: 1443766910257.gif (358 KB, 500x357) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
358 KB, 500x357

Here's your reply you glorious faggot.
>have the coolest tomboy girl friend back in primary
>played the vidya all of the day bro
>fucking mario kart on the N64
>her parents started arguing
>girl can't concentrate and affects her gayman
>look over shoulder and yell at them to shut the fuck up
>girl looks at me in disbelief
Then my parents moved and never saw her again.
The reason is it's fucking newfoundland, she can't find a job as a hairdresser with arthritis and support herself alone so she got involved with a drug dealer who abused her but she was too proud to confess things immediately went to shit the moment she moved back to the fishfucker province where everyone wants all of their friends dead and committed suicide rather than ask to fly back over and live with the family who loves her and the man who loved her.
She literally left my dad because things were going "too good".
to my 10ish year old mind it was something like a kitchen pipe

shits hilarious when i think about it, i wonder if she ever cringes at the memory
If you do it fast enough it doesn't move you, just makes the car rock, it's fun as hell.
My friends house was like that all the goddamn time. It pissed me the hell off cause I never knew how long it was I've been there. It wasn't until I found out that her mom had really bad lupus and that if she was in sunlight for like 10 minutes stuff would shut down. I kinda made sense after that cause she was always doing errands at night and would get us Taco Bell at like midnight. Shit man now that I think about it I got a shit load of these kind of stories for you guys if you want them.

Usually a lot of stuff with knives. Running at you with knives, holding knives in your face when you wake up, that sort of thing.
thank mr poseidon
>friend invites me to his house for the first time
>it's across the street from the school so I follow him home to write his address down in my school agenda
>later that day have my mom walk me there
>knock on door
>some toddler asian kid is at the door
>ask for my friend
>asian parent comes and barely speaks any english
>doesn't know what I'm talking about
>the next day ask my friend what the fuck happened
>told me he walked in the wrong house, it was a neighbors

I'm still blown away, we were in military housing so a lot of houses looked the same but still.
>playing games on my pc with friend in the summer
>my dad comes home and completely freaks out on me for playing inside when the weather is nice
>completely over the top, I'm so embarrassed.

I'll never forget this shit, still don't know why he was so angry.
Well, did you? Law of thermodynamics my nigga
Intrusive thoughts, you dumb nigger.
I did this

except we were all 18

and there were substances involved

and nobodies mom was involved

it was pretty cash money
>warhammer 40k

I was like the only person that even knew what 40k was growing up until I moved to a different town where all the 40k players are over 25

To be fair he had hard wood flooring.
Almost. Though one day he decided to stop being my friend because I called him stupid so I took his GBA-GameCube cord a couple days before I moved across the country. I was a shitty kid but he was a fucking idiot so we're even.
Did you fug?

Kitchenpipe? We need a better reference than that? Also did you inherent his endowment?
Sorry, I was getting something to eat. Since it's just you who is interested, would you like me to tell you in private? I don't want to keep talking about it, cause I feel like he browses /v/ sometimes.
what could have been anon, what could have been
File: 1429439132212.jpg (38 KB, 396x385) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
38 KB, 396x385
>Be me
>Around 10-12 years old, don't recall
>Playing Golden Axe multiplayer with a friend
>Friend out of nowhere starts to fart, repeatedly
>Try to ignore it, but he keeps doing it
>Calls for his fucking mother
>Mother comes in "Did you just go fart?"
>I'm kinda just staring at the screen now
>"Five big ones"
>I'm in hell
>She comes in and pats him on the head
>"Well done"
>She leaves
>Silence for a moment
>"Do you want to play Street Fighter?"
>Awkwardly play Street Fighter for the next hour before I have to leave
>On my way out, hadn't forgotten the weird shit, but it wasn't on my mind
>Heading out the door with his mother (Driving me home)
>Before we get in the car, she asks if I "enjoy farting"
>10-12 years old, no idea what the fuck, just mutter "guess so"
>Silent the rest of the trip, exit the car, make it a point to never talk to the kid again.
Insane people call them intrusive thoughts to put a name on the retarded shit they're tempted to do.
Don't worry too much about it, you're probably normal.
You get that about everything.
Thats why i don't understand it.
Because it seems to be a thing a lot of people do.
At least you don't have friends who will start crying because they feel lonely, are single, never had a girlfriend, keep getting friendzoned, and eing a virgin at age 26.

And yes, they actually do have Autism.
That depends
File: 1374033803936.png (426 KB, 720x720) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
426 KB, 720x720
>school's out on a Friday, motherfucker
>riding bikes with your bro to the pizza place, getting two boxes of the greasiest horseshit ever, and heading back to his place
>playing vidya all goddamn day
>he falls asleep at like 9 o'clock like a stupid asshole
>turning off the TV because playing vidya while your friend's asleep doesn't really feel right
>hallway lights are on, better close that door
>friend's hot mom walks by wearing a t-shirt and some pretty risque panties
>seriously, what kind of mother wears that kind of shit
>she just smiles and tells you to have a good night
>not being able to help but stare at her ass as she goes back down the hallway
>not being able to look your friend in the eye the following morning and racing home to masturbate furiously
>that one friend people only liked cause he had the latest shit

The worst part is that cat owners can't tell it smells that way.

And cats will claw their way INTO your furniture and then take a piss inside it so you could never ever clean the smell away even if you wanted to.
I had a friend who would deny me entry to his house because he said it was a mess.
As if I fucking care I just want to play his videogames.
We don't
I did this all the time until their family got a dog. Too fucking allergic.
Which is a shame.
Because I miss camping over there for 2-3 days towards New Year, or 1-2 weeks during summer when his parents leave for a vacation.
File: 323235.jpg (111 KB, 998x800) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
111 KB, 998x800
>That one kid who had a room that smelt like shit and their controllers were all sticky
John if you're here, you're a dirty unwashed jew. I don't mean that in a mean way, just you literally never washed and your family is jewish.
>Watching Johnny Bravo.
>Mom takes me to her friend's house.
>Her friend has a big ass.
>Quote Johnny Bravo as she walks by, don't remember what it was.
>Mom and her friend get fucking anally annihilated that this 6-7 year old kid said something provocative and I get grounded for a week, spanked and have to write an apology letter.
Lets just say if you held your fingers in a circle, it filled the whole thing and then some

>Also did you inherent his endowment?
ever heard of power saving anon?
>Mom goes crazy and dad gains custody of me.
>Dad takes divorce like fucking Christmas
>Spends every week picking up women and bringing it back to the house.
>Those awkward days when I bring friend over to my house and we have to play games as my dad is in the next room making bed creaks and sex sounds.
>Because of this, rarely invite people to the house and rarely spoke to my dad.
>My friends would laugh that I might have a smelly crib because I never told them where I live or invited them over.

My dad simply did not give a fuck.
File: 1423383872194.jpg (49 KB, 547x471) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
49 KB, 547x471
>at a friends house for a sleepover
>his mom is hot as fuck
>she's wearing a tank top type shirt
>playin vidya in his living room that night
>watch her bend down to put their dog
>mfw she's not wearing a bra
>mfw i saw titty
I rubbed one out in their bathroom later on
>The worst part is that cat owners can't tell it smells that way.
Cat owner here, you can smell their piss what the fuck are you talking about.
File: 1440962504853.gif (3 MB, 420x300) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
3 MB, 420x300
nice lie man
File: face.jpg (30 KB, 438x374) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
30 KB, 438x374

Did they grow up to be serial killers? I once read Ted Bundys babysitter once woke up to every knife in the house arranged with the pointed ends pointing at her, he was 3.
File: FeelGuy_Barbarian.jpg (112 KB, 406x464) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
112 KB, 406x464
>Go to friends house
>Sweep his ass in Godzilla: Destroy All Monsters Melee
>"Anon, you can't keep doing that attack, it's cheating!"
>I'm not cheating lol
>"It says so in the manual"
>No it doesn't.
He starts crying
>Think to myself: What the fuck dude, you're like, 10, stop crying over me winning.

I'm 19 now, and in retrospect, that kid was a pussy.
>Beat him in TimeSplitters: Cheating
>Beat him in some Starwars game: Cheating
>Beat him in James Bond: Cheating

This kid got all the consoles too, and I never did until the 360 in 4th grade ,

It didn't stop there.

>His birthday party
>He has an Xbox 360
>Give him The Orange Box
>"Wow! Thanks Anon! I've always wanted to play HL2!"
>His mom gives him Mass Effect
>"Mom, I love you, this is like supposed to be the best game ever."
>He's all excited and shit, but for all of us to be entertained, he puts the Orange Box in.
>Starts up Portal, which makes sense, if you fail the puzzle, the next person tries.
>Xbox falls behind the TV set
>Screen cuts to black after loud ringing noise comes from speaker
> I was the tech expert among my group of friends (we were like 10 lol)
>Turn it off, set it all back up, set it gently on the TV where it was.
>Boot it up.
>E74 error
>"Anon, what does this mean"
>Well, your Xbox is fucked, you can't fix it.
>Birthday boy starts whaling on the autist, physically assaulting him.
>Party ruined
>Birthday boy crying, autist acting retarded
>Go home, play Cossacks: European Wars

It's actually normal in certain ethnic groups.

Non-catholic mexican women are usually naked or in underwear at home.

People from Barbados.


Certain groups of protestant christians.
File: file.png (851 KB, 1280x720) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
851 KB, 1280x720
>five big ones
>turning off the TV because playing vidya while your friend's asleep doesn't really feel right
Just tell the highlights, no need for nitty gritty
Is this a joke?
File: 1413497297712.png (143 KB, 280x275) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
143 KB, 280x275

Quit being such a rude asshole.
>Dad picks me and my brother from day care.
>Dad was a sick fuck who enjoyed watching children cry.
>Would buy us games and show us to them in the car, only for him to look for an excuse for him to throw out the window.
>Sneeze on the dashboard,
>Slaps me across the face and proceeds to throw all games out the window while bitching at my 6 year old brother and me to stop bawing.

This faggot would do this shit with candy, games, movies, everything. Weird part is I found when he died in the car crash he only did it because I resembled my mother's face when they divorced back then.
File: 1420250368121.jpg (3 MB, 7680x4320) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
3 MB, 7680x4320
>"Five big ones"
Are you mentally handicapped? Your shoes literally touch the ground all day long. Where dogs shit and people spit on. Would you keep your clothes on if instead of walking, you rolled instead?
>Go to friends house
>He shows me AoE 1 for some reason despite AoE 2 being all the hype at the time
>Suddenly PC powers down
>Realize I moved my foot and it just happened to hit the power button
>He looks at me with this face like "Are you fucking serious?"
>I panic and claim to not know what happened
That guy didn't actually drill through his head, did he?
Plot twist: You're gay.
Was she single?
What do you do instead? Just stare at him in silence as he sleeps? Creep. Turn that TV on and play some games.
Not really fam

I am kinda shy with girls tho, but I'll get over it
File: 1431218.gif (607 KB, 187x220) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
607 KB, 187x220
>that kid who always left early and didn't sleepover at a sleepover

That'd always kill my mood, because it'd always be the coolest kid
File: 1442525504826.png (102 KB, 250x250) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
102 KB, 250x250
>go to rich friend house
>he swears infront of his parents
>cusses them out too when pissed
Jake what the fuck
What the fuck is wrong with rich people

File: 1359575662136.jpg (66 KB, 366x364) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
66 KB, 366x364
>was supposed to go over a friend's house to play vidya
>he missed the bus, so I played smash 64 with his sister in his room while I waited
>always used kirby
>whenever I grabbed I'd do the up throw and jump along with kirby
>squeaky bed
>after a few minutes friend's dad storms up stairs yelling "god damn it you two I swear to god if you're at it again I'm gonna start locking you in your rooms"
>mfw I realized a few years later he didn't mean jumping on the bed
I've mentioned the story a few times in past threads on /v/, and really, it was all my fault. I really should let go of this and not dwell on it, as I regret my decisions to this day.
too bad the body isn't as well drawn as the face. That doujin was a huge disappointment.
>friend visiting my house
>we are doing homework
>he has to go
>my stepdad REFUSES to let him leave my house before he has completed his homework 100%
>gets scared as fuck and talks about it for years afterwards

What the fuck.
My stepdad was weird and messed up tbh, but he's pretty chill now that me and all my siblings have grown up and left.
>go to friend's house
>get bored of vidya
>play with his sister's pet gerbils
>accidentally play too rough and kill gerbils
I wasn't ever invited back.
Whatever makes you comfortable dude, no sweat.

>that kid who called cokes "soda"
>tfw 4 person sleep overs
>playing halo on bloodgultch 2v2 or some shit
>making stupid as fuck maps in farcry
>be 12 yo at friends house
>get homesick for no reason
>snivel the whole night on the sofa-bed they set up for me
>my friend feeled kinda uncomfortable, since he heard me crying the whole time
>suddenly he handed me out some handkerchiefs

This was about 10 years ago. I never visited him again,
>tfw trying to see who could stay up the latest
>tfw you win
File: 1429122022896.png (295 KB, 688x700) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
295 KB, 688x700
>Always too polite to use the bathroom while at a friends use
>Always use the sink instead
>Forget to lock the door one time, friends dad finds me with my pants down and my little bow peep ready to go
>He freaks out, asks what the fuck I am doing
>Drags me to the toilet and makes me use it
>Too worried about the 6 foot tall stranger holding me while my dick was out, end up pissing on the wall
I didn't get invited back after that, fucking subhumans.
File: 1415260374851.gif (137 KB, 659x576) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
137 KB, 659x576
>Hey man do you have anything to eat? Even just bread?
>Sure bud
>Takes out bread from the fridge

Supposedly to make it "last longer." How fucking slowly do you have to go through a loaf of bread that you need to put it in the fucking fridge?
How big is your dick
>that kid that called soda "pop"

What did he mean by that?
What is with that one emotionally disturbed faggot who thinks it's a good idea to start assaulting people?
>Faggot friend comes over
>we're playing Idon'tfuckingknow something, something old
>he starts chuckling
>punches me in the arm as hard as he could
>look at my brother like "what the fuck?!" since he was his friend
>that's just something he does
>does it through the course of the night
>we all get fed up as they're like 5 of us
>two of us hold him down while the other two go full on FUCKYOCOUCHNIGGA on his ass
>he stopped doing be he was still a fucking queer.
>I don't know why we hung out with that fag.
Are you mentally retarded? Your clothes are touching Items that are never washed and more germ filled than the ground.
Public transportation seats? Yeah those have all kind of shit on them. Doors? Peoples hands who don't wash, mucus, blood and other shit. Crowded mall? You're brushing up against people and who knows what they've been doing. It's the same shit. But keep thinking it isn't
File: 1444169568730.jpg (434 KB, 668x1006) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
434 KB, 668x1006
>at camp
>girls taking their shoes off and warming their feet by the fire
>be upstairs at friends house, playing pokemon on seperate gameboys
>his mom comes in, tell my friend to vacuum his room, he says no
>she gets fed up and just comes in to do it herself
>she must have forgotten she was in her nightgown
>as she moved her arm back and forth, her entire boob slowly slipped out

thank god I was laying down during the whole thing
File: 1444640329842.jpg (17 KB, 400x380) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
17 KB, 400x380
>friend comes over to your house
>try to show him cool games because all he has is shovelware and shit
>hes completely uninterested
File: 1404457256160.jpg (769 KB, 1600x1072) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
769 KB, 1600x1072
>Friend comes over to play videogames
>fight over who gets to be first player
>friend calls his mom to pick him up
what the fuck is wrong with you
File: 1441602083070.jpg (28 KB, 400x300) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
28 KB, 400x300
>get invited to kids' house
>his pet dog is half dingo

That thing always chased me when we tried to play outside.
File: 1372672232120.png (96 KB, 332x333) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
96 KB, 332x333
>tfw you play alone after all of them asleep
Alrighty then. But still, the offer still stands.
>friend is at my home
>my parents start fighting
>sleepover at friend's place
>he invites a kid I don't know
>he has a DS with Mario Kart
>few hours past, it's bed time, stranger kid and I get paired in the same room
>We play Mario Kart all night, taking turns, and there was a blizzard outside.
>Have a great time with this kid
>Never see him again.

Wonder what happened to him...
How old were they?
File: 1430156966711.jpg (22 KB, 238x307) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
22 KB, 238x307
>you will never be a hot MILF teasing pre-teen boys
File: 1443901506679.png (412 KB, 626x927) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
412 KB, 626x927
>Friends over at my house playing vidya
>My parents start fighting
File: 1425063507814.gif (2 MB, 400x267) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
2 MB, 400x267
>"Hey you want some soda?"
>Takes it out of the cupboard
>Ask him why he doesn't keep that shit in the fridge
>"Doesn't taste nice when its cold"
The fuck
File: Shiftry_AG037.png (96 KB, 346x335) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
96 KB, 346x335
>Be young teen
>Some guy in our "friend circle" that tend to be the butt of the joke more often than not invites me to his home.
>What would possibly go wrong?
>He hits his parents when they talk back to him.
>He wanted to put some porn on his TV to watch in the bed with the covers on, was hard to dissuade him.
Kill yourself retard.
this sounds like bullshit but I believe it.
last time i measured was around 8"
>Friend and I playing fightans on PS2.
>Loser has to sit on the winner's penis.
>We also sword fight with our penises.

Totally not gay guys.
>play truth or dare
>everyone doing crazy wild dares
>your turn
>pussy out
I regret being my pussy faggot shit ass child self. Should have done the naked dance dare.
I ended up being that kid sometimes, especially if all the couch space was taken. I ain't sleeping on the floor when I can walk half a block home
what kind of third world country do you live in where the people spit in public often?
This happened the first year of middle school, but it sounded like it'd been going on a while.
File: TV-CART.jpg (30 KB, 300x300) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
30 KB, 300x300
>walk into class
>see this
File: 46585468.jpg (19 KB, 392x411) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
19 KB, 392x411
>at camp
>girl sneaks into my tent
>holy shit
>she unzips my sleeping bag
>pretend to be asleep
>holy shit she grabs my dick
>Jerks me to completion
>Un fucking believable
>Leave the tent the next morning with a shit eating grin on my face
>Oh right all boys camp
>playing vidya with friend
>little brother walks in, friend beats the shit out of him
>dad walks in, beats the shit out of my friend, tells him not to beat up his younger brother
what the fuck
>it was for the previous class
>teacher rolls it away
File: 1313151063381.jpg (21 KB, 471x480) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
21 KB, 471x480
>wanting to sleep on the floor or the couch
>that awkward feeling when waking up and having family members start waking up really early
>just end up going home soon after anyway
File: 1444972430275.gif (993 KB, 540x540) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
993 KB, 540x540
>walk into class
>see that
>its sex ed class
File: 1322448513630.png (7 KB, 210x230) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
7 KB, 210x230
>playing vidya with friend
>talks shit when he's winning, turns into an obnoxious ape
>loses his fucking shit when he loses, acts like he's on his period, says I screen peeked and calls it all bullshit

I'm still better than that cunt.
File: the smugs.png (340 KB, 1162x505) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
the smugs.png
340 KB, 1162x505
>Go to a friend's house
>Can hear this parents having sex upstairs
>Uh, where's the bathroom?
>Jerk off picturing his parents having sex
Just like my jap cartoons
>sleep over at rich friend's house
>he has PS3, with MGS4 (just came out, must have been 13)
>Playing PS3
>Weird friend (not the rich one) is sharing the pull-out couch with me
>Goes onto RedTube on the rich kid's laptop
>Starts jerking off next to me
>Starts talking to himself saying shit like "oh yeah you slut", "oh yeah you whore", "fuck yeah" etc.
>Look at him and say "what the fuck are you doing faggot?"
>He dead stares at me and says "Don't tell anyone"
>He goes to the bathroom to finish

Why was this kid my friend ever, what the fuck was the matter with him?
When I'm at home by myself I sit in nothing but my fucking underwear. I'm doing it right now. Whitey-tighties, not boxers. If some random person hows up at my door I'll grab some pajamas from the dresser 2 feet away from me, but not socks. If I'm anticipating actual company coming over I'll have an outfit picked out, but still no socks. They're unnecessary unless it's cold. I'd honestly prefer if people that came to my house did the same, I don't want them stepping in dogshit or something and then tracking shit particles through my carpet.
File: Sleepover threads.png (161 KB, 433x312) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
Sleepover threads.png
161 KB, 433x312
>not pouring the soda into a fucking glass with ice cubes
>pissing in the fucking sink thinking its somehow polite

No anon, you are the subhuman.
>sex ed class
Americans everybody
Man, working in a lighthouse must be SO comfy. No annoying neighbors, no risk of burglary, you can wank without having to pull the curtains.

You're a lucky man, no homo
>playing vidya at friend's house
>his mum tells him to clean the dishes
>he says he'll do it after I leave
>she screams at him to do it and ends up smacking him with a ladel
He later told me that his mum had to beat him with the metal bar part of a vacuum cleaner because everything else broke on him.
File: 102985019251.gif (1005 KB, 230x399) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1005 KB, 230x399
>This happens
I know that feel.
>mfw my friend's parents always treated me better than their own children
>mfw parent cucking
>>Oh right all boys camp

hands don't have dicks
File: 1435138520489.png (29 KB, 450x396) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
29 KB, 450x396
>friend comes to sleep over at 7:00pm
>he falls asleep at 10:00pm
File: FeelGuy_Smile.png (490 KB, 645x773) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
490 KB, 645x773
>tfw my elementary school from eight years ago has ZOIDS on VHS in addition to Starship Troopers: Roughnecks, because of me.
>not being educated in the matters of sexual intercourse
3rd world faggots everyone.
That would explain all those teen pregnancies in England
>visit friend
>go to bathroom
>his dad kept playboys next to the toilet
File: laughter.jpg (111 KB, 500x333) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
111 KB, 500x333

>sex ed class in highschool
>some kid says there is some weird yellow stuff on his glans

Jesus christ, how hard is it to wash yourself
Cycle of abuse, probably why I'm abusive tbh fam
I whisper like that sometimes when I masturbate, but never on group masturbate sessions though
thanks fam, we're all gonna make it
You can smell that shit, who the fuck can't, it's like acid constantly piercing your nose.
You extend the crunch for 1-2 more days.
Which means its a priority.
Bread lasts insanely long anyhow. Its not to make it last longer.
I saved that image because I had the original photo hanging in my bay side country house in BC
It always ignited my imagination want to live or play a game where you are in a comfy lighthouse home, completely isolated from society
>educated in the matters of sexual intercourse
It's called common sense
I wasn't even jerking off, I was too busy playing the first act of MGS4 to notice for a few minutes until he started breathing louder.
File: 1433738602017.jpg (43 KB, 528x705) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
43 KB, 528x705
>go to friend's house
>they have dogs
>they're aggressive
File: 1352499404372.gif (2 MB, 350x266) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
2 MB, 350x266
>go over friends house
>woop his ass at a game
>"you're only winnining because this and that"
>change class to accommodate all his complaints
>woop his ass still
>"REEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!" autist yell from my friend
>his mom thinks I'm picking on her son at his house
>she tells me I should stop being rude at other peoples house
>my friend doesnt say shit
>friend comes over
>make him take off his shoes before he can enter
I'm sure for them it's just a regular part of another curriculum instead of being it's own separate thing.

Holy fuck I just had to solve like 20 captchas to fucking post this
just go with a shotgun, you literally can't fuck up
File: bad-yoim.png (35 KB, 183x232) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
35 KB, 183x232
>Sleepover at friend's house
>Wake up with a burning pain in my anus
>Can't remember what happened the night before
>sleep over at friends house
>wake up before he does
>go out to his back yard for some reason
>he was a stick thing to lock his patio door
>end up locking myself out
>too embarrassed to knock and wake him up
>wait 1-2 hours outside until he wakes up
File: Cat_Stare.png (221 KB, 277x289) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
221 KB, 277x289
>the scratching noise dogs made when running towards the door when you arrived before it even opened.
Fuck man, that looks way more exciting than I expected lighthouse keeping to be.
>playing Rising
>Suddently mom is laughing alone
>''Mom, what are you laughing at?''
>Shes holding her phone
>She shows me what she was looking at...WHAT THE FUCK?! ARE THOSE TRAPS?!
>Laugh with her

This happened just yesterday
>sleepover at friends place
>see his mom running around naked in the middle of the night

she wasn't attractive
>Go to a friend's house to play vidya
>His stepdad walks by naked
File: 1420122388546.jpg (24 KB, 287x334) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
24 KB, 287x334
>Go to a friends house
>Having a wonderful time playing vidya
>Dinner, they are ordering take out!
>mfw I remember their entire family is vegan
>teach biology in American college
>reproduction and sex ed class
The number of stupid things college students in the US don't know about sex, Jesus.
Did the dad think you were your friend? That's hot____
File: 1444613937288.jpg (100 KB, 780x630) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
100 KB, 780x630
>that one friend you could never beat at smash
>that one friend that was slightly better off than you
>that one friend whose dad didn't walk out on him
>that one friend that was unafraid to pursue his dreams

Anton, if you're reading this I hope you get signed to a big label. You're the Yugi to my Kaiba bro.
>things that never happened
>friend invites me over to play vidya
>get there at noon
>tell dad to pick me up at 19:00
>we start playing Smash Brothers
>an hour later he gets a call from his girlfriend
>they talk for an hour and a half on the phone
>hangs up
>happy because we'll finally get to play again
>"My girlfriend wants to hang out so I'm going to go"
>He leaves
>His parents don't want to drive me home
>no one at home when I call to ask for a ride
>his parents also don't want me to be left alone in his room
>have to sit in the living room with his parents
>they have the TV on but it's just boring Saturday TV shows
>keep trying to call home for a ride but no answer
>they have lunch but don't offer me anything
>living hell
>I'm stuck there until 19:26
>filled with rage at my friend
>stop talking to him after that day
I just realized how fuckign funny it is that batman's lower face is just one big chin
File: image.jpg (78 KB, 456x900) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
78 KB, 456x900
>parents start fighting
>masturbate to control the fear and anxiety
>never want to go to his house again
>because you are a good friend you invite him over to your house more
>you tell your parents your friends parents are fighting so your friend can come over more without having to worry about parents getting mad
>friend comes over
>make him take off his pants before he can enter
Common sense isn't a thing. People need to be educated on this shit, otherwise you're gonna have people go "my boyfriend came in my mouth, i think i'm gonna have a baby!"
File: 1443495977208.gif (183 KB, 500x384) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
183 KB, 500x384
>Friend tells you to calm down "they're friendly"
>Dogs are twice your size and barking relentlessly
the fuck is this picture from. It gives me the creeps.
File: 1391729931845.png (159 KB, 476x345) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
159 KB, 476x345
>that kid who put ketchup in the fridge
>common sense
>pumps out 20 babies because can't into condom
>starving to death in your shit hole country
I had that same shit happen to me except she went all Mama bear on me. Confined me to the kitchen so her son could 'collect himself' and called my parents to pick me up.
Traps as in girly white bois, or like literal traps? How the hell would either be fucking funny?
File: 1335596245827.gif (496 KB, 400x228) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
496 KB, 400x228
>going over to parents friends' house
>all my parents friends houses smelled really weird, all had the same sort of weird smell
>would usually hang out with the kid there, we'd play GTA (wasn't allowed to play it at home) and Tony Hawk
>years later discover that that smell was weed
>every single person in my family, and every one they know is an alcoholic stoner
>they probably let me play GTA because they were too high to give a shit
>friend is feminine
>was bullied quite a ton back in school had to protect him
>make him suck my cock and play vidya with him
>Friend sleeping over
>He's on a mattress on the floor
>We're joking about masturbation and shit
>I start jerking it beneath the covers
>"Anon, are you actually doing it?"
>"Nope, just pretending"
>"Oh, okay"
Fuck this
I got bitten once luckly it was a small dog but it hurt a lot anyway
I didn't realize the difference between cut and uncut until I was 16
File: costanza_400x400.jpg (19 KB, 400x400) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
19 KB, 400x400
>not putting your ketchup in the fridge
Bread starts getting hard as a rock after a single day being outside, do you buy bread every single day like some unoptimized faggot?
File: maxresdefault (1).jpg (83 KB, 1920x1080) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
maxresdefault (1).jpg
83 KB, 1920x1080
File: 1445139281706.jpg (79 KB, 1280x720) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
79 KB, 1280x720
>That friend that lived in a weird dysfunctional monoparental household
>Lived with his mother and his little sister in his aunt's flower shop
>Entire alimentation consists of nothing but pop tarts, corndogs, ramen cups and Michelina's frozen dinners
>His mom's fat as shit and uses one of those fat/old people scooter things

I bought him a GBA so we could play Pokémon together, otherwise he didn't have money for video games, but we still had fun playing games we copied on floppies from our school's computer lab on his mom's old Mac. I also passed him every comics and books I got after I read them. I wonder where he is right now.
File: 1381371771618.gif (2 MB, 255x164) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
2 MB, 255x164
>that kid who traded your Pokemon to his cartridge while you were sleeping
Similar story:
>Be 6th grade
>Going to hang out with supposed qt I met over facebook who goes to other middle school
>An hour away on the bus, my dad takes me
>Arrive and realize that she's actually ugly
>The moment I turn around to say goodbye to my dad he's practically half-way down the block
>Hang with her for two hours
>She goes home, yet can still talk to me on the phone
>Call my dad, tell him to get me
>He takes two hours to arrive
>get home, get on imvu
>she dumps me later that week

Fuck you Rebecca, you Jewish cunt.
>I had a big ass lab retriever
>aggressive and active as hell
>barks loud and big
>friend comes over
>immediately runs and jumps on to of him
>friend panics
>yelling gets dog more excite
>starts humping him
>my dog raped my friend
>more than once
>Common sense isn't a thing.
File: 1361408022094.png (486 KB, 526x700) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
486 KB, 526x700
>friend always has like twenty boxes of cereal and a shitload of poptarts
>wonder how he hasn't gone through that shit already
Lucky kid. Wish I had someone like you whole growing up.
>Trying to play vidya
>"Anon I got to walk the dogs"
>Pauses game, and returns like twenty minutes later
File: 1381172573092.png (34 KB, 378x402) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
34 KB, 378x402
>teacher plays that video with the woman giving birth
Losing to scrubs falco's.
He should end his life
File: 1357462449079.png (170 KB, 352x250) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
170 KB, 352x250
>6th grade
>3rd world shit hole country
>being relevant in anything
that common sense of yours is working out just fine it seems like.

Your friend was a moran since refrigerating bread makes it stale and kills nutrients. However, you probably mean some sort of processed, pre-sliced loaf of bread in a bag, so nothing of value was lost.
>His parents don't want to drive me home
>they have lunch but don't offer me anything

sounds like a bunch of assholes
File: sakura.png (312 KB, 389x386) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
312 KB, 389x386
I was that friend.

Sorry, James.

>that kid who stole your Charizard and gave it back bruised and ruined

fucking bitch tomboy cunt
hope u never talked to that kid again
Traps, like, futas

Because your mother doesn't laugh with you when both of you see surprise traps, does she?
It's called a bread box
File: Pepe_WindowRain.jpg (47 KB, 680x510) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
47 KB, 680x510
I was twelve then, I'm almost 19 now.
File: 1324670933677.jpg (21 KB, 458x461) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
21 KB, 458x461
>that friend who snuck into your house and stole your xbox

Fuck you Dillon, you scumbag piece of shit. I hope that heroin you pawned it off for treats you well.
File: 1437193332126.png (292 KB, 800x800) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
292 KB, 800x800
>playing at friend's house which was literally a 5 minute walk from my house
>first time I was at a friend's house ever
>get homesick and start crying
>friend's mom picks me up and pats me on the back while I cry on her shoulder
File: 1445051530004.png (424 KB, 608x826) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
424 KB, 608x826
>Visit friends house for the first time
>His house stinks of shit, piss, general filth
>One parent is a drunk, can smell it on his breath, the other is nowhere to be seen
>Literally need to kick empty beer cans out of the way to get to his room
>His room is spotless
>Thank god
>Wait what is that smell
>Small cage
>Instead is a death fucking hamster that is clearly starting to rot
>Ask him what the fuck
>"Yeah its funny lol"
>Get the fuck out of there
>Had a friend who is a foreign girl with heavy accent.
>Her family is always inviting me her to the house and telling me to sleep over. Telling me that she rarely has friends and she has to become more sociable.
>One day as my parents go on vacation by themselves and sister sleeps over her friends house, I decided to sleep over my friend's house.
>Her parents happily oblige. Her mom calls it a sleep over. Sets my bed on the floor in my friend's room.
>This goes on for years.

Didn't know what the fuck was going on at the time, but thinking about it now, it felt like the parents were trying to set me up with their daughter or something. I don't have any explanation. They could have been pedophiles who get off on the idea of two underage kids having sex. Could be because I don't understand foreign customs or I probably looked like a tomboyish girl as a kid.
>not walking with him

this board is full of autists
He specifically told me it was to make it last longer. And it was a preservative loaded sliced bread, nothing fancy.

Not all breads do. Even the good stuff will last a while if you keep it in a bag.
File: Ready for memes.gif (910 KB, 500x281) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
Ready for memes.gif
910 KB, 500x281
>That one kid who invited you to his house to play some /tg/
>almost 19

Jesus fuck that's young. I'm only 21 and even that's fucking young for this place.
>What is with that one emotionally disturbed faggot who thinks it's a good idea to start assaulting people?

They think differently, so people might be tempted not to punish/yell at them when they do wrong because when they're not enjoying themselves, they really make it known, and seeing a kid suffering and making it known to that extent isn't something they wanna see.

That's pretty stupid though, that's the entire point of punishing a kid, so they don't want to be punished again.

He's also not directly suffering more from the punition than another kid, it's just his young autism kicking in, making him want to communicate how much he thinks it's unfair that he gets punished when he should get his way in every circumstance.

Of course, you can have dialog too, but when your kid is assaulting people, you have a very obvious line to draw that should probably have been drawn earlier.
>Mom forces you to lend a game to a cousin/ friend's kid

>They give you the game back all fucked up and full of scratches
File: halal.png (443 KB, 640x480) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
443 KB, 640x480

>Yeah it's funny lol
>protect from bullies
>bully him with your cock later
smh lad
>Friend has this giant fluffy black dog the size of two kids
>Friend tells me to follow him, exits running
>I follow
>Dog is crouching looking at me
>I look at it confused
>Starts lunging
>Friend apparently came back and gets in the middle just in time
I thought I was dead meat
File: 017.jpg (378 KB, 1200x1679) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
378 KB, 1200x1679
>that kid that's really good friends with you and your friend group
>never gets to go to any sleep overs because he's deathly allergic to cats
>couldn't host them because he was living in a tiny apartment because his parents were stationed her for some short term military job

Sorry Justin ;_;
>Not going with him
Whats wrong with you?
I fucking hate dogs
>that kid you always traded games with every Friday

That shit was the best, until he started "forgetting" to return it. Fucking took me forever to force his ass to bring my X-men Legends back.
>want to lend games to friend
>his brother is feral and will no doubt damage the game in some form
File: 1333413496580.jpg (39 KB, 299x301) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
39 KB, 299x301
>Go over to friends house
>His mom always decorates the house seasonally and it always smells good
File: heh.png (275 KB, 542x420) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
275 KB, 542x420
>That friend who was a Jehova's witness
>Was also a massive fucking weeb, his room's walls were plastered with posters and wallscrolls of the usual shonen weeb shit: Bleach, Naruto, Death Note, etc.
>Introduced me to animu, mango and JRPGs
>I didn't get why he always refused to come to my birthday parties until years after the fact
>that kid you bullied in middle school because you were so low on the social ladder you needed someone else to throw beneath you
>kid gets so fucked up he angrily molests a girl on a bus and gets sent to juvie
>all because he didn't watch the simpsons

Hate when that happens.
A Newfoundland or a Leonberger?
File: 1429627263262.jpg (53 KB, 702x536) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
53 KB, 702x536
>parents fought everyday, EVERY SINGLE GOD DAMN FUCKING DAY until I was 15 and they finally separated.
>omg anon it must be so hard for you right now
>tried not to show how fucking ecstatic I was

Ten years later and I'm still glad it happened.

>friend over
>they start fighting about sex

At least I learned how to go numb so I could keep playing video games.
What does it matter? If you weren't molested then why are you complaining? You sound like one of those faggots who gets all pissed because in your paranoid mind you've deduced that someone is a pedo with zero proof and thus should be thrown in jail.
>implying I didn't walk with him

I'm 25 and my 37 year old stepmom does it all the time, just a shirt and panties

Like what the hell give muh dick a chance
>>parents fought everyday, EVERY SINGLE GOD DAMN FUCKING DAY until I was 15 and they finally separated.
what did they fight over?
Moved less than a year ago. Bought two loaves of bread because I realized I go through it pretty fast.
Second goes bad after four or five days, completely unopened.

Fuck no. I put that shit in the freezer and don't pop it out till i'm done with the first. I never understood why my guardians used to do that when I was younger, but damn if i'll never forget my disbelief.
>350 posts
>no gay stories
shit thread tbh
File: 404189427748209.png (132 KB, 300x300) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
132 KB, 300x300
>out on the field at school playing handball one day
>for some fucking reason, me and my friends are pushing each other around
>not even fighting
>push this one guy and he falls down
>he gets pissed off and starts crying even though we've been doing this for a couple minutes already
>he pushes me into a fence
File: 1442567926486.jpg (14 KB, 110x210) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
14 KB, 110x210
What, have you never had an unrelenting stream of Diarrhea stream out of your asshole so hard it hurts for days?
Shit fucking burns.
File: image.jpg (98 KB, 425x481) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
98 KB, 425x481
>6th grade
>spend a night at friend's house
>friend has a rottweiler
>he isn't fixed
>take dog to spare room while everyone is asleep
>stroke it off and let it fuck me
>knots me
>this is my first time
>he's done
>dog gets spooked
>pulls out while his knot is still engorged
>almost black out from pain
>go back to bed
>no one suspects a thing
Did it 4 more times with his dog on separate occasions

I'm so fucked up
How much of a faggot their son was I imagine.
Doesn't quite look like either, but if I had to pick it was more on the Leonberger side

Fuck. I thought people who were scared of dogs were the biggest cucks on the planet, then I nearly got mauled by a Pitbull at work. Fucking hell.

>Bread molding at the speed of light

If you live in humid as fuck places, bread boxes rock. I swear by them and I live in Texas
>spend more time at a friends house than at home
>moved there when i was 15
>no one cared
>haven't talked to my family since then
>that was 10 years ago
>7th grade
>went to play vidya to friends house but he wanted to watch porn with his other friend, probably his first time
>they laughed at me cause I didn't want to watch it
>porn was nothing new to me since i've seen it since 1st grade, but they didn't know
>went back to his room to play vidya
>told to kids at school that he watched porn
>he didn't want me to come into his house anymore
>I was like, ok if that's what you want
>stopped being friends

Year later he tried to ask how i was doing, but i didn't care anymore, 10 years later he tried to be friends again, but I haven't cared about friends since i turned 17. Now at 29, it's just hilarious memory.

that's me, but with every kid
File: 1383647236299.gif (651 KB, 500x422) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
651 KB, 500x422
>teacher plays the birth video
>video finishes
>weird kid that sat and always ate his skabs: "that was hot!"
File: 16.png (59 KB, 250x250) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
59 KB, 250x250
>That friend who has a religious as shit mom.
>Go to his house and there are crosses, figurines of saints and pictures of Christ all over the house.
>As I leave the house, his mom would have me pray with her and friend and tell me God loves me.

Didn't figure out until later when I grew a brain that she was trying to save me and indoctrinate me since my parents were agnostic and never seen around the local church.
File: 1387273415190.png (308 KB, 703x720) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
308 KB, 703x720
>That guy who used to always pick fights with everyone, was super violent and driving everyone crazy, actually caused one of our teachers to burn out
>Years later, local newspaper announces he's been killed in a fight by a friend of his while they were on a roadtrip

Can't say I was surprised

>angrily molests a girl

Don't know why but that made me laugh.
>tfw I was that friend
My dad was an alcoholic who sold weed and my mom just tried to ignored all of it. The house was always a complete mess too.
>parents fought everyday, EVERY SINGLE GOD DAMN FUCKING DAY until I was 15 and they finally separated.
Jesus me too. And my dad yelled and insulted me to tears often too. He had no job for like the last 5 years of the marriage saying he bought and sold stocks online, really brings in no income at all. Was so glad that they got divorced when I turned 16.
File: 1437675848732.png (29 KB, 633x758) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
29 KB, 633x758
similar story:

>mom had a friend who's kinda a poorfag
>was invited to the house, brought his son with her
>son has that mischievous look on his face but I tried not to have any prejudices
>My PS2 is lying next to the TV
>After they're finally gone I started up my PS2, booted up DQVIII
>Noticed that the fucking memory card is missing
>panic as fuck
>told mom of what happened, she instantly suspects her friend's son
>me, my brother and my mother goes on a search the next day at school and confronted the kid
>said along the lines of "I don't know, never saw it"
>We never found that memory card, thus I bought another one
>Few weeks my mom gave me a memory card, told me that his mother gave it to her
>was pretty excited
>All saves are either corrupted or lost
Bad couples fight over everything. It's less the result of misunderstandings and fuckups and more about psychological warfare between the two parties. The more they resent each other, the more they try to tear each other down to get the pressure off themselves.
File: mental balance.jpg (109 KB, 434x461) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
mental balance.jpg
109 KB, 434x461
>playing vidya at a friends house
>his parents come in and start to beat him

>you will never be young enough again to have sex with ur friends mom
>she won't ever notice that the 12 year old you has a boner and goes in the bathroom while your friend is playing games
>she won't ever jerk you off complaining about how her husband is never home anymore
>you will never develop a sexual bond with ur friends mom
I think it was because they were religious and I mentioned that I didn't go to church once. After that they always treated me like shit even though I didn't do nearly as much bad shit as their kid did.
File: shocked.gif (410 KB, 240x135) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
410 KB, 240x135
Not him but my parents would fight literally every day as well.

It was always about business and money.My dad's fucked, though. He once punched my mom in the face (had to get stitches) because they wouldn't agree on the color of a dress a woman was wearing. Still don't know why my mom married him.
You better be a girl

What if me, other Anonymous, is also interested. Storytime now?.
File: vx53VSx.png (542 KB, 382x696) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
542 KB, 382x696
File: 1441379381334.jpg (38 KB, 303x297) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
38 KB, 303x297
Last time I posted my sleepover stories I got banned.
File: 1424925438847.png (126 KB, 210x339) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
126 KB, 210x339
I was too

We used to get together every now and then at one of our friends house and we'd have like three or four tvs. Sometimes I got tired of playing with them or some of them simply stopped playing so I'd pop in Mass Effect or Oblivion.

>Started giving me shit for playing "boring" games
>Fast forward a couple of years
>ME3 so amazing, Skyrim best game ever!

I like to rub in their faces how they ate their shit every now and then
I remember when I was 13 I showed my friends painolympics.wmv, only 1 of them could watch the whole thing
Fuckin this, so many repressed memories from my when I was younger, thank you vidya.
You're a good guy anon. I had assholes friends who insisted on never sleeping when they got the chance to play on my consoles. I was fine with them playing as long as they wanted during the day but damn it they never seemed to sleep and would bother me all night with questions.
Did your mom get pregnant with you before or after the marriage?
Oh no. Shit, I'm too nervous now. Can we discuss this on Steam, I don't feel right talking about it again and again and again.
File: 1365547626109.gif (3 MB, 416x405) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
3 MB, 416x405
>Best buddy lives a house down
>literally loved all the same shit
>has a game room above his garage that isn't connected to the house
>rough house like motherfuckers and stay up all goddam night playin video games
>That sly fucker had a NES, SNES, N64, Playstation, AN ACTUAL DONKEY KONG ARCADE MACHINE
>motherfucking girls gone wild commercials at 3am
>Saturday morning cartoons start at 6am
>we do this for 5 years+
>have to move away
>never have a friend like that ever again

I wish we could reconnect but it can never be the same.

Never found another friend like him.
>have to move because of my dads job
File: 1429365680603.png (483 KB, 633x758) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
483 KB, 633x758
>those friends you had absolutely no problems with whatsoever and you were all perfect bros
>countless summer nights involving some manner of vidya, card game, activity, or just shooting the shit
>still somehow drifted apart
Mike, Ryan, I'm still here, guys. Come over anytime you want to relive that happiness again.
They are, you just have to flex your muscles at a dog to show dominance. When my dog was alive I'd occasionally flex my arm right in his face and tell him he can't take on this to establish who's top dog.
File: image.jpg (69 KB, 550x700) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
69 KB, 550x700
>walk into class
>tv cart is always in our class
>never used it the entire year
>It was always about business and money.
>that kid who was as lonely as a child as he is now
File: bubbles12.jpg (20 KB, 256x200) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
20 KB, 256x200
>playing vidya at a friends place
>his older brother got sent to military school because he was kind of a bad kid and is back now, more or less straight, but still has a nasty temper and fights.
>he has 2 of their dark age of camelot accounts taken up so he can have a buffbot while playing BG
>friend wants the bot account so i can play with him
>bigbro says no, needs it because he's in the middle of a raid
>friend shuts his laptop off in the middle of said raid to get the account unlocked
>huge fight ensues
>bigbro punches friend down, beats the shit out of him while hes on the ground (punches him in the torso/abdomen/upper arms so their parents won't see since my friend would never rat on him)